I have discovered a huge issue in my dating life and it's really hindering me from meeting the men I want to date. I talk all about it in this minisode.
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[00:00:01]
Unknown:
Okay. So it has recently come to my attention that I have a bit of a dating problem. And, you know, it's really helpful for each of us, any of us who are dating, to kind of reflect and assess any of the things that may be getting in our way of being successful on our dating ventures. You know, it can be everything from social anxiety to our fears of anything, things that are causing us to hesitate on, you know, creating that online dating profile or, I don't know, having a meddlesome controlling ex who you're, you know, afraid of upsetting. But it can also be things that are occurring in your actual dating process. So maybe you are out there meeting people, talking to people, going on dates, things like that. It's helpful to to really ask yourself what are the things getting in my way. And one thing that recently came to my attention is that, I am well, let me let me explain. I have done a fair share of online dating, but I haven't really done a lot of meeting people in person and that turning into a date. And that's something I've wanted to change, and it's something that I'm I'm very interested in meeting people IRL, you know, initially.
So, I've been wanting that to happen more. And I'm like, alright. It's dating season, spring and summer. Now is the time. And so a lot of it has been about me deliberately getting out of my house more because it's very easy for me to stay homebound since I work from home, and I really just have to drive to pick up my children and drop them off, at school. I go to the grocery store now more than I had been. So when I moved here back in October 2021, I did a whole lot of, grocery delivery. I don't you know, I do a lot of all of my banking electronically. I really love being able to do things from my house. It makes me very happy. I get a lot of things delivered.
Like, for instance, as much as I love going into Target, it's not the most convenient, location for me, and so I get a lot of my stuff delivered from Target, or shipped to me. So, really, like, my life operates virtually or having things delivered to me. So I have to make deliberate efforts to get out. I did recently join a, gym for, like, circuit training. So I'm meeting people that way. Just invite people I just meet people in general. And I started going to the grocery store. A while back, I started going to the grocery store consistently reg and regular regularly, and I haven't gotten grocery deliveries in a long time.
Yeah. I mean and I do, try to go out with friends and go out to eat and things like that, but I'd like to be doing more of that quite frankly. For a period of time, I was trying to, like, go to a coffee shop every Monday to get work done and also just kinda get out and about. And I, actually, there's a bunch of different coffee shops that I just want to, try, and so that's an ongoing thing for me. But I'm saying all this to say that, like, I'm definitely trying to work at meeting men in person. And so recently, I became aware that an issue that I have is that so this has been a lifelong thing. I've always looked younger than my age. I mean, like, significantly younger, annoyingly younger, especially when I was a kid. It really, sucked because people would treat you differently and kind of less respectfully.
And then they'd realize how old you were, and they'd kind of, like, adjust where they're like, oh, actually, she's a teenager, and she's not. So, I mean, literally, like, I would get carded. So I lived in Florida, and the I worked at at the Walmart that I worked at, one what am I even saying? Like, this is not even when I lived there. So one summer, I was visiting my dad in Florida when I was on break from college, and I worked, like, for a month at the Super Walmart. And one day, I guess, I was either on break. I was probably on break or something. I but I didn't have my ID with me, and I wanted to buy, I think, American Pie on DVD.
And I had to be carded because you had to be, like, I don't know, 18 or over, 17 or over, one of those, to buy it. And, I was definitely, like, 20 years old or so, but pretty much I couldn't buy it because I didn't have my ID on me. Things like that. Or I get carded for, like, buying, whipped cream because there was a, you know, a big thing. I don't know if it's still that way now, and this was also in Florida where, like, because kids were huffing and all of that. You had to be, like, over 18, maybe even look over 21, something like that to buy it. Got carded for that, stuff like that. So, everyone say you're gonna love this when you're older. It's gonna be so great. It's gonna be so great. Fast forward, and here I am today.
And I'm not complaining. It has been great. It's wonderful. I, you know, I'm big on moisturizing and using sunscreen and having a skin care routine and, you know, keeping my skin I'm trying to keep my skin looking good and all of that good stuff. And yet I've come to realize that it is a real issue in my dating life at this time. So as a friend pointed out to me, this is one of the reasons why online dating is helpful for me because, obviously, when you look at someone's profile file when you look at someone's profile, you immediately get their age. And that is important for me to broadcast to people because the men who I am interested in are my age up to about ten years older.
So I am 36 years old. I'll be 37 next month. And so I'm usually interested in guys who are, like, 36 to, like, 46, 47, that sort of thing. And the consistent feedback that I've gotten from men, women is, you know, that I look like I'm in my twenties. And when I'm interested in a guy who's 40, me looking like I'm in my twenties can pose some issues, at least for the men who are interested in dating more in their age range. And this has become more and more blatant as I've tried to, like, meet guys in person or even, like, show my interest in some way, as they say, drop the handkerchief to to show that, like, I'm interested in you approaching me or talking to me. And right and me now realizing that, oh, they might be concerned that a 20 year old is, like, making eyes at them, and they're, like, in their early to mid forties.
So, yeah, I'm just recording this to acknowledge that, you know, we may all have our, like, things that get in the way of our dating process and some of those being things that maybe we're not even aware of for some period of time. And then upon becoming aware of it, we have to I have to start thinking about ways to overcome that. So this became particularly clear the other day. I went to Starbucks, and it was a long line. So there was a nice amount of time for, us our Us caffeine addicts to just, like, stand in line next to each other, you know, chat it up or things like that. There was a man behind me who I thought was handsome, and I my thought was, oh, he seems like you know, it'd be great if he, like, you know, asked for my number and want to go on a date, that sort of thing. I saw he wasn't wearing a wedding ring, anything like that. So I was like, oh, that would be cool, like, if he, like, talks to me or whatever. So we stood in line for a while waiting for us to get our order to place our orders. I was in front of him, so I placed my order, then I went over to wait for my order.
He stood waiting for his order. So at one point, I someone who had been standing next to him while we were waiting for our orders, that person left. So I kind of casually, like, moved a bit closer because I moved closer to the count to the counter, where our drinks would be served. But I also did it because I was like, oh, well, I could sit next to him, and if he wanted to, like, say, hi, he could or that sort of thing. And there was, like, none of that, though there had been seemed like he had glanced over once or twice. So then I was like, you know what, Tracy? You know, drop the handkerchief. Say something. So I made some casual comment about, I was like, oh, 09:30 in the morning is not the time to come to Starbucks if you have places to go. And he's like, yeah. I know. Right? And then he started, like, chatting and, which, you know, was very brief conversation because then they called my order, and he's like, oh, you're up, which by the way because so they called my name. And I realized that I was like, oh, yeah. He paid attention to my name when I gave it to the barista because he knew that I was Tracy, like, that sort of thing. So in my mind, I'm making up this fantasy that, like, this guy might have been interested.
And so I got my drink and I left. But it kinda hit me. I was like, once I said something to him, he totally, like, warmed up and was cool. And so I got the impression that, you know, I wasn't bothering him. He I got the impression that he wanted to talk to me. But then I realized, and this is also with some consultation from my bestie who struggles with the same issue of looking younger. We really started talking about this, and I was like, you know what? I think I think the man, if he had had any interest in in potentially talking to me, he was held back or would have been held back by the fact that he just thought I was younger than I am.
And then upon me talking to him and also, you know, I had with the gray hairs, they're they're coming in, and I might just need to let those ladies flourish and stop plucking them out. Because then he maybe got a closer look and realized, okay. You know, she's she's older than than I maybe thought. And so I'm realizing one of the ways one of the ways that I will try to go about overcoming this issue is I will initiate conversations with guys, but particularly I'm I'm leaning to think of some, like, key lines as openers or or key lines to say early on in the conversation to indicate my age. Like, you know, I have two kids or I don't know, like, something about my profession or I I don't know yet. I don't know yet. This is, like, off the top of my head right now. I will be putting real effort and thought into this. And if anyone has any suggestions, please let me know. You can DM me on Instagram at tracy panach. You can email me [email protected].
You can put comments here. Actually, on Spotify, the question for this episode, I will put I will, make the question be something like, what are suggestions for things to say to men to indicate that you're older? Because I'm thinking about this in the context of, like, standing in a Starbucks line or, like, some sort of brief interaction that you might have with somebody you meet in person. And then, you know, the idea is that they would, you know, ask for your number, you know, and say, okay. You know, I'll reach out, and then you kinda go your separate ways. You're not, like, spending hours together or anything like that. So, yeah, this is my conundrum.
What are your conundrums in dating? What are some things that maybe you're needing to overcome? Let's talk about it. But I am definitely open to suggestions on this issue.
[00:12:12] Unknown:
Hey. By the way, I can be found in other places besides this podcast. Just search my name on YouTube, and you'll find my channel. Subscribe for periodic how to videos for dealing with breakups and mastering dating. That's right. I said mastering dating. It's a skill, ladies. I can also be found on Instagram at tracypenock. And last I most encourage you to join my email list where you get breakup and dating support delivered to your inbox. In addition to getting the most exclusive access to my programs and coaching services, my email list subscribers are the first to know when my coaching programs launch and the only people to get discounts when they're offered. As always, I'm glad we got into it and looking forward to next time.
Okay. So it has recently come to my attention that I have a bit of a dating problem. And, you know, it's really helpful for each of us, any of us who are dating, to kind of reflect and assess any of the things that may be getting in our way of being successful on our dating ventures. You know, it can be everything from social anxiety to our fears of anything, things that are causing us to hesitate on, you know, creating that online dating profile or, I don't know, having a meddlesome controlling ex who you're, you know, afraid of upsetting. But it can also be things that are occurring in your actual dating process. So maybe you are out there meeting people, talking to people, going on dates, things like that. It's helpful to to really ask yourself what are the things getting in my way. And one thing that recently came to my attention is that, I am well, let me let me explain. I have done a fair share of online dating, but I haven't really done a lot of meeting people in person and that turning into a date. And that's something I've wanted to change, and it's something that I'm I'm very interested in meeting people IRL, you know, initially.
So, I've been wanting that to happen more. And I'm like, alright. It's dating season, spring and summer. Now is the time. And so a lot of it has been about me deliberately getting out of my house more because it's very easy for me to stay homebound since I work from home, and I really just have to drive to pick up my children and drop them off, at school. I go to the grocery store now more than I had been. So when I moved here back in October 2021, I did a whole lot of, grocery delivery. I don't you know, I do a lot of all of my banking electronically. I really love being able to do things from my house. It makes me very happy. I get a lot of things delivered.
Like, for instance, as much as I love going into Target, it's not the most convenient, location for me, and so I get a lot of my stuff delivered from Target, or shipped to me. So, really, like, my life operates virtually or having things delivered to me. So I have to make deliberate efforts to get out. I did recently join a, gym for, like, circuit training. So I'm meeting people that way. Just invite people I just meet people in general. And I started going to the grocery store. A while back, I started going to the grocery store consistently reg and regular regularly, and I haven't gotten grocery deliveries in a long time.
Yeah. I mean and I do, try to go out with friends and go out to eat and things like that, but I'd like to be doing more of that quite frankly. For a period of time, I was trying to, like, go to a coffee shop every Monday to get work done and also just kinda get out and about. And I, actually, there's a bunch of different coffee shops that I just want to, try, and so that's an ongoing thing for me. But I'm saying all this to say that, like, I'm definitely trying to work at meeting men in person. And so recently, I became aware that an issue that I have is that so this has been a lifelong thing. I've always looked younger than my age. I mean, like, significantly younger, annoyingly younger, especially when I was a kid. It really, sucked because people would treat you differently and kind of less respectfully.
And then they'd realize how old you were, and they'd kind of, like, adjust where they're like, oh, actually, she's a teenager, and she's not. So, I mean, literally, like, I would get carded. So I lived in Florida, and the I worked at at the Walmart that I worked at, one what am I even saying? Like, this is not even when I lived there. So one summer, I was visiting my dad in Florida when I was on break from college, and I worked, like, for a month at the Super Walmart. And one day, I guess, I was either on break. I was probably on break or something. I but I didn't have my ID with me, and I wanted to buy, I think, American Pie on DVD.
And I had to be carded because you had to be, like, I don't know, 18 or over, 17 or over, one of those, to buy it. And, I was definitely, like, 20 years old or so, but pretty much I couldn't buy it because I didn't have my ID on me. Things like that. Or I get carded for, like, buying, whipped cream because there was a, you know, a big thing. I don't know if it's still that way now, and this was also in Florida where, like, because kids were huffing and all of that. You had to be, like, over 18, maybe even look over 21, something like that to buy it. Got carded for that, stuff like that. So, everyone say you're gonna love this when you're older. It's gonna be so great. It's gonna be so great. Fast forward, and here I am today.
And I'm not complaining. It has been great. It's wonderful. I, you know, I'm big on moisturizing and using sunscreen and having a skin care routine and, you know, keeping my skin I'm trying to keep my skin looking good and all of that good stuff. And yet I've come to realize that it is a real issue in my dating life at this time. So as a friend pointed out to me, this is one of the reasons why online dating is helpful for me because, obviously, when you look at someone's profile file when you look at someone's profile, you immediately get their age. And that is important for me to broadcast to people because the men who I am interested in are my age up to about ten years older.
So I am 36 years old. I'll be 37 next month. And so I'm usually interested in guys who are, like, 36 to, like, 46, 47, that sort of thing. And the consistent feedback that I've gotten from men, women is, you know, that I look like I'm in my twenties. And when I'm interested in a guy who's 40, me looking like I'm in my twenties can pose some issues, at least for the men who are interested in dating more in their age range. And this has become more and more blatant as I've tried to, like, meet guys in person or even, like, show my interest in some way, as they say, drop the handkerchief to to show that, like, I'm interested in you approaching me or talking to me. And right and me now realizing that, oh, they might be concerned that a 20 year old is, like, making eyes at them, and they're, like, in their early to mid forties.
So, yeah, I'm just recording this to acknowledge that, you know, we may all have our, like, things that get in the way of our dating process and some of those being things that maybe we're not even aware of for some period of time. And then upon becoming aware of it, we have to I have to start thinking about ways to overcome that. So this became particularly clear the other day. I went to Starbucks, and it was a long line. So there was a nice amount of time for, us our Us caffeine addicts to just, like, stand in line next to each other, you know, chat it up or things like that. There was a man behind me who I thought was handsome, and I my thought was, oh, he seems like you know, it'd be great if he, like, you know, asked for my number and want to go on a date, that sort of thing. I saw he wasn't wearing a wedding ring, anything like that. So I was like, oh, that would be cool, like, if he, like, talks to me or whatever. So we stood in line for a while waiting for us to get our order to place our orders. I was in front of him, so I placed my order, then I went over to wait for my order.
He stood waiting for his order. So at one point, I someone who had been standing next to him while we were waiting for our orders, that person left. So I kind of casually, like, moved a bit closer because I moved closer to the count to the counter, where our drinks would be served. But I also did it because I was like, oh, well, I could sit next to him, and if he wanted to, like, say, hi, he could or that sort of thing. And there was, like, none of that, though there had been seemed like he had glanced over once or twice. So then I was like, you know what, Tracy? You know, drop the handkerchief. Say something. So I made some casual comment about, I was like, oh, 09:30 in the morning is not the time to come to Starbucks if you have places to go. And he's like, yeah. I know. Right? And then he started, like, chatting and, which, you know, was very brief conversation because then they called my order, and he's like, oh, you're up, which by the way because so they called my name. And I realized that I was like, oh, yeah. He paid attention to my name when I gave it to the barista because he knew that I was Tracy, like, that sort of thing. So in my mind, I'm making up this fantasy that, like, this guy might have been interested.
And so I got my drink and I left. But it kinda hit me. I was like, once I said something to him, he totally, like, warmed up and was cool. And so I got the impression that, you know, I wasn't bothering him. He I got the impression that he wanted to talk to me. But then I realized, and this is also with some consultation from my bestie who struggles with the same issue of looking younger. We really started talking about this, and I was like, you know what? I think I think the man, if he had had any interest in in potentially talking to me, he was held back or would have been held back by the fact that he just thought I was younger than I am.
And then upon me talking to him and also, you know, I had with the gray hairs, they're they're coming in, and I might just need to let those ladies flourish and stop plucking them out. Because then he maybe got a closer look and realized, okay. You know, she's she's older than than I maybe thought. And so I'm realizing one of the ways one of the ways that I will try to go about overcoming this issue is I will initiate conversations with guys, but particularly I'm I'm leaning to think of some, like, key lines as openers or or key lines to say early on in the conversation to indicate my age. Like, you know, I have two kids or I don't know, like, something about my profession or I I don't know yet. I don't know yet. This is, like, off the top of my head right now. I will be putting real effort and thought into this. And if anyone has any suggestions, please let me know. You can DM me on Instagram at tracy panach. You can email me [email protected].
You can put comments here. Actually, on Spotify, the question for this episode, I will put I will, make the question be something like, what are suggestions for things to say to men to indicate that you're older? Because I'm thinking about this in the context of, like, standing in a Starbucks line or, like, some sort of brief interaction that you might have with somebody you meet in person. And then, you know, the idea is that they would, you know, ask for your number, you know, and say, okay. You know, I'll reach out, and then you kinda go your separate ways. You're not, like, spending hours together or anything like that. So, yeah, this is my conundrum.
What are your conundrums in dating? What are some things that maybe you're needing to overcome? Let's talk about it. But I am definitely open to suggestions on this issue.
[00:12:12] Unknown:
Hey. By the way, I can be found in other places besides this podcast. Just search my name on YouTube, and you'll find my channel. Subscribe for periodic how to videos for dealing with breakups and mastering dating. That's right. I said mastering dating. It's a skill, ladies. I can also be found on Instagram at tracypenock. And last I most encourage you to join my email list where you get breakup and dating support delivered to your inbox. In addition to getting the most exclusive access to my programs and coaching services, my email list subscribers are the first to know when my coaching programs launch and the only people to get discounts when they're offered. As always, I'm glad we got into it and looking forward to next time.
