Bitter to Better

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In part two of Mom Moments with Kim Forte, we pick up right where we left off—navigating the hilarious, messy, and meaningful realities of parenting tweens in a digital age. Kim and I unpack “the Bronx Zoo incident,” where a spring field trip, permissive device policies, and very active animals collided, sparking a rapid-fire group chat saga and an unexpected teachable moment about intimacy, discretion, and age-appropriate conversations. We share how we handled it on the spot, what we said at home, and the inclusive resources we rely on to keep body, sex, and identity talks honest and developmentally paced.

We also dive into practical mom hacks: empowering kids’ agency with clothing, avoiding laundry emergencies, and reframing chores as responsibilities and privileges. From building inclusive language (“if partnered”) to using books that reflect diverse identities, we focus on raising considerate, capable humans. And yes—we celebrate the “emotional orgasm” of folding laundry with a glass of wine and a guilt-free binge of fabulous real estate TV.
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[00:00:01] Unknown:

Hey. Welcome back. This is part two of mom moments with Kim Forte.   So as I mentioned last not even last week. As I mentioned   two days ago when this the first part of this episode aired on Monday,   Kim and I spoke for over two hours, so I split the episode into two parts. This is part two. It is a continuation of where we left off in part one.   So if you haven't listened to that episode or to that part, then go on back and listen,   and we continue the story from here.  

[00:00:31] Kim Forte:

It's it's such a story.   I was half involved, half not,   but it's such a great story. And so I'm gonna let the person who is mostly involved I apologize.  

[00:00:42] Unknown:

I apologize to any   school staff members who feel that they were, like, harmed in the making of this situation.   I'm gonna stop. Wait a minute. I need some more wine. Hold on. Hold on. You need the wine. I've I first have to tell the background story to even get to why I'm even bringing this up right now. So I would try to to remember why I'm saying all this. But,   okay. So we have fifth graders. We're talking about  

[00:01:07] Kim Forte:

this is what we're talking about. This is why you're telling the story. We're talking about the fact Intimacy is what made   children are beginning to understand intimacy between two partners. They are on the verge   of understanding this. Some of us,   probably parents, have expressed more   knowledge than other parents have expressed. I think that's fair to say. Mhmm. Some kids appear more knowledgeable than other kids in our school. That's fair to say. Mhmm. So we are you know, it's fifth grade. They're 10, 11. Figure it out, folks. You know what your 10 and elevens are like. And if not, you've been 10 and 11. You know what was going on. So So that is the backdrop   for this story.  

So You have to  

[00:01:48] Unknown:

remember to tell the part where the school allowed the Oh, I I got I got I got I know. I'm gonna tell. Okay. I'm gonna show you. Actually gonna work backwards, which is to say, I'm having this conversation about intimacy and realizing that our kids are getting to that point and, like, how we feel as parents made me think back to the fact that yesterday, I was at the Bronx Zoo, and I walked past the area where what I like to call the scandal of the fourth grade scandal, what, of 2024   happened. And I I literally was sure. I was like, oh, it's so talking about that kid. It was was oh, yeah. Because you the end of the the  

[00:02:20] Kim Forte:

Spring scandal 2025.   May 25. May 2025. 05/25/2025.  

[00:02:26] Unknown:

2025. On the day. So I was walking through Braun Stu to that area. Josh was with me, and I was like and I just start laughing. I'm like, oh my gosh. Remember on the fourth grade field trip to the the zoo, what happened? He's like, oh,   yes.   So now I'm gonna go even backwards, which was '26. I don't know.   The fourth grade the fourth grade, like, big trip of the year was to the Bronx Zoo this past school year. So this is last school year in which   unbeknownst since kinda to a lot of, I think, our surprise is the school said that children can bring their devices with them on this trip. So that would be, like ride. They were allowed to bring phones and iPads for the My child just used the word device,   and so he brought his switch and didn't bring an iPad or a phone, which maybe saved us in the situation. And my kids may have told me, but I said they weren't allowed to bring them, so I cheated them out of the experience. Which is what what I wish I would have done because I was just confused when I'm like, they said you could do what?  



[00:03:25] Kim Forte:

You could bring me, like, trash? My kids, when they told me as we were leaving, they were like, that morning, they were like, they told us we could bring them. I was like, I don't know. Like, like, I literally my kids, I thought, like, what? I was like, alright. We'll see. And lo and behold, I saw, like, a tonic.   That's Although, the reason in in the school's defense, I think the reason they partially did it is because of the ride. Realize is that we live in the metro area and that you're not always on time back. And so if your kid has their phone and you're not getting back in time for pickup, you can call. So, like, in hindsight   I get it. It was a way for parents who couldn't be chaperones, and not everyone could Right. For them to contact their children. And to be fair, in the defense of the school, the kids could take pictures and have memories and stuff that they wouldn't have been able to do without it. I understand I understand   pros for this. It did come told it that it got lost. It was on you. It did complicate things a little bit when  

[00:04:16] Unknown:

we go to the zoo during the springtime,   and the animals are animaling   Yeah. If you know what I mean. Okay? You and me, baby. Ain't nothing but mammals.   Doing like they do on the Discovery Channel. Okay? So   we were getting   real life experiences. Yeah. It was like spring was a spring and love was happening. It was in the air, boo. So the kids in this YouTube era, they were they have their phone they have their iPads and phones on record. They're like, look at me at the zoo. I'm gonna blah blah blah blah blah because, you know, every kid is an amateur YouTuber these days. Cool.  

[00:04:54] Kim Forte:

Well, little lo and behold Before I'll give you an an example before Tracy tells us. I'll give you a minor example because you're gonna get the big punchline.   You would go into the birdcage,   which I did, and have the peanut butter   sus like, bird seed stick that you would hold out, and the one bird would be on, the other bird would just hop right on.   And the kids would say, are those birds fighting? No.   They're not fighting.   They're just enjoying  

[00:05:22] Unknown:

the stick together. Yeah. They It was a little bit like that season. So Unless you prefer a good euphemism, and you're like, well, yes.  

[00:05:29] Kim Forte:

They are biting.  

[00:05:33] Unknown:

So   you have so let me set the scene. You have two   two moms,   a school staff member,   at least three, four, five, like, a group of kids, a group of boys. Our whole group was boys,   and we're just enjoying the zoo. We're just   Let's go into the primate area.   Boom.   Boom. Boom. Boom.   Kids are recording because they're having a good time at the zoo, and school said we could bring our devices. So they're like, oh, look at this. Look at this. We walk in.   And to be honest, this is so bad because I don't remember if it was chimpanzees. It was gorillas. It was gorillas.   It was gorillas. It was gorillas.  

Immediate   front and center.   Okay?   Just two gorillas doing   what gorillas do when they want to procreate.   Okay?   Cameras are already going.   They're they're already on. They were on before we walked in. I wanna be clear. So   response time, reaction time   is behind   camera footage. We're we're we're we're live. We're live. K. So here's what happens is raising children in a digital age because this is important for what happens next. So whatever. They're like, woah.   Oh. And different kids are having different responses to this to be clear. Some kids are like,   you know,   My child is literally, like, reading the signs and be like, oh, look at this. This says blah blah blah blah blah blah. Kinda like definitely, like, avoiding.  

And, like, we know something's going on here that, like, I don't want to deal with and talk about in front of my parents, so I'm gonna ask you to have sex offender. Like,   I know that these two people are out these two primates are having sex in front of my mom, and it's fucking weird. And my friends are like,   oh, what? And so they're recording. But here, this is my point about raising kids in the digital age.   These are fast.   They are. So this video   goes in a split second from, oh my gosh, to send me to the group chat.   The primate mating video   gets sent to a group of other fourth graders   who our kids are in a group chat with. They did. So it immediately   spreads amongst that group of kids. Some of those kids are with us as, like, the two parent chaperones who have, like, a good three or four of them. Yeah. But some of them are not actively with us. So   I need to understand   also have their devices   Now I have a video.  

Message notification   with other parents and other teachers around.   We can see.   So I need to understand. Right? Obviously, I'm retelling this story, so the time frame is being slowed down. This is happening   within, like, ten seconds. Oh. So   other parents of said kid who did the particular sending of the the the thing to the group chat is like, Oh, why didn't you do it? Read that right now. Help them out.   But, like,   it's already it's happened. Yeah. So   then what happens   I continue to move forward because in my head, I wanna tell you what's happening in my head. Thank you. It is literally nothing more  

[00:09:05] Kim Forte:

than what you would see on PBS. It is totally   a natural   Discovery  

[00:09:11] Unknown:

Channel. It's a Discovery Channel video. I've my child has seen this on, like, a animal documentary on Netflix. Bunch of fourth grade teachers.   But wait. So, like, even before we get to that point because right right now, we're still in the exhibit. We're in an enclosure. We're not we're not making contact on the other side. So what's happening in that moment is in my head, I'm thinking, oh, this is I don't know. Maybe it's the therapist in me, but in my head, I'm thinking, oh, well, we're having the birds and the bees conversation today when we get home. It's what I'm thinking in my head. But I'm also recognizing that I'm also recognizing I'm with other people's children, so I'm not assuming they want that conversation, which is why I responded the way I responded that her friend was like, you left me because here's what happens.   That gets sent.  

Other parent is like, don't like, stop. Don't don't send that. Erase that video, but it's already sent. But I I believe she had to, like, erase the video off of his device, though. Right?   Another kid that's with us, it's like,   is the daddy giving the mommy his milk?   Other chaperone. Right? He's like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's that's what's happening. I meanwhile am   my my child is   is my child because just as he was just, like, avoiding, looking, oh, this scientist, this and this. I'm like, alright. Let's go and see this next thing.   I wanna explain the why I behave that way.  

I'd be ready to sit there right there and give a lesson to everyone about   what's happening. But I can't make that assumption that's what every parent wants. So I'm trying to find a way out of the situation   that doesn't   offend   other parents Right. Knowing that when I get home, I'm having a certain conversation with my child. Right? Right. But, understandably,   my friend, fellow fellow,   chaperone is like, you just, like, you just, like, were acting like nothing happened and left me there to, like, respond to the milk comment and this. I'm like, you're right. I wasn't thinking about that. All I was thinking about was I didn't wanna start telling other people's children about what was going on. Yeah. I didn't get their consent. So whatever. We get through the exhibit.   This is not too long, I think, before we end our trip. So we're all back to the bus. No. It wasn't. It was, like, within the half hour Okay. Of us getting to the bus. Getting to the bus. That I have. So then we all get back to the bus. I happen the seat I happen to be sitting in was, like there were, like, the teachers in the first two or three rows, and I was, like, the next row behind the teachers. So it was a little privy to, like, conversation that was happening. But we sit on the bus,   and   one of the teachers   comes up to me and is like,   does Tristan have a phone? And so at the time, I'm really not understanding why she's asking me this. The answer happens to be no. I'm like, no. He doesn't have a phone.  

And she's like, okay. Because, like, a video went out that maybe everyone, like, so she's pretty much trying to, like, calmly, like, skirt around the fact that this inappropriate video of two apes fucking. Yes. And so I guess trying to prepare me for the fact that maybe it's on my child's device and way any of the students could have seen had they been at their Right. At the zoo. Two apes were mating. And that at some point, many of the children saw mating behavior. Sorry. I said fucking. They saw mating behavior   throughout the zoo that entire time because it was springtime   at the zoo.  

The birds telling you The peacock the male peacock were like The male peacocks, people were sitting there. They were in their trail in their ass around. Yes. They're like, come to my like, we saw two peacocks on the roof,  

[00:12:43] Kim Forte:

like, mate dancing,  

[00:12:45] Unknown:

the male peacock going ape shit and the female jumping on the roof with him. I was like, oh my god. I gotta get my kids out of here. These peacocks are gonna start off. Get time, go to the Bronx Zoo during spring. Alright? Because you're gonna get a show. So everybody, everything was just doing what they did. Eat some oysters  

[00:13:03] Kim Forte:

at City Island. So actually leave the kids.  

[00:13:06] Unknown:

You in your boo thing, go to the zoo in the spring because you're gonna get a show. So this is when he had the fourth grade trip.   And we said, let's bring devices. So let's record it all. So that's what happened. And in this day and age, it went viral. Teachers were like, there was a video. People sent a video. And so And we were like Poor teacher. And so I said to my kids my kids were like, what video? What are you talking about? I said, listen.  

[00:13:30] Kim Forte:

Two animals were mating. Someone took a video of it,   and they were like, oh,  

[00:13:36] Unknown:

okay.  

[00:13:37] Kim Forte:

And then you know what they said? It's not like anything I don't see on YouTube. And it's like, exactly.  

[00:13:44] Unknown:

And so   since the teacher was like, oh,   okay. You're talking about the video. Yeah. I was in that group where the video originated and got sent. Just wanna let you know that,   me and the other mom know the other moms of the kids who were in the group chat that got sent to. So we've been handling it. We're letting people know, like, hey. This was sent. You might wanna did. Right. But meanwhile, it didn't need to. It was just And so this is my conversation. I was like, so I I think it's all good, but, like yeah. But on our way back home, I overheard, like, statements like, I don't know about a zoo trip next year, this, that, and the third. And I don't know how definite it was. If Norwalk moms or parents are listening to this, don't not go to the zoo because animals are gonna mate. Fourth grade is about the zone where we need to start having a conversation. Animals mate. Honestly. I remember I was in fifth grade when they started have they brought the girls into another room instead of talking about menstruation because you'd rather I think they're have the con right. You'd rather have a conversation before it's happening. Some girls, it's happening   before that or fifth grade. I was lucky enough to have gotten the talk before it happened for me, so I wasn't scared and shitless out of my mind when I start, you know, bleeding. Right? But my point is, yeah, this is the time. So for me, it was just an opening into having a conversation. So when we got home,   I   what you're tracing is, like, the first thing we're gonna do is we are gonna delete that video off of that off of your device, like, on the group chat because it's not something that needs to just be spread around. But let's have a conversation. I was like, do you know what mating is? Yeah. He was like, no. And, again, I don't know if that's an honest answer or not, but I'm gonna have I'm gonna go with what he's giving me. Right. So I was like, yeah. Well, you know, I don't remember exactly what I said, but it was definitely explaining that, like, it's a way that that,   animals make babies and have babies. And I was like, and in humans, we call it sex.  

And sex is something that adults are to do, that is between adults. I was like, and we will have more information on this we'll have more of this conversation as you get older and give you more detailed information. But I want you to understand that, like, it's a natural thing that happens for babies to form. We call it mating and animal sex in in humans, and it's for adults.   And it's not something that we go around just talking about or recording videos about and sending and when it's, like, sex in humans. So I just want you to be aware of that. So, like, pretty much trying to teach discretion, I guess, would be be the word here. Right? Yeah. I think that's a great word for it. And I was like, then we're gonna have more conversations about this as you get older. Because, by the way, this goes into my theory of, like, you never have to lie to kids. There's just an inappropriate   way to explain everything. A divorce, someone dying, sex, all of that. So we build upon the story over time Yeah. As they get as they get older. There are great books out there. I bought a book called Sex is a Funny Word,  

[00:16:22] Kim Forte:

and it's a book about that doesn't describe the act of sex particularly.   Well, it does. It sort of describes   the reality of what sex is, and it's for   middle school kids, like kids coming out of elementary school. And, you know, I just   I have relied   on   the subtle art of, like   this is a very funny story for me.   I bought   our kids these books   about from the time, and now I have to buy them the next series of books. And they would like to borrow these books, by the way. Yes. You should.   Although you're young, like, you should borrow them for Harry. Okay. But, like, I borrowed I bought these books   for,   like, third graders or fourth graders to maybe sixth graders or third graders to sixth graders. And it was like, how does your body   what's going on with my body? Right? It's like, this is what happens to people born male, and it's written like that. And this is what happens to people born female and, like, the idea of, like, what's happening and what could happen.  

And I've asked my kids because I have boy, girl, twins. So I've asked them to read each other's books. I don't know if my son has, but I've certainly had the conversation with him   about the fact that he goes through a different experience physically than his sister does.   And I remember when we bought them, they were so upset. They were like, you think we're big, these big grown kids? And I told them the story. And I, like, gave them these books, and even our son, like, threw it across the room so mad at me. And I was like, fine. I'll just return the book. Like, it's not that deep. You don't have to read about what's gonna how your body's gonna change or who you're gonna become. He goes, no. I don't wanna give up the book, but   you're making me feel like I'm growing up too fast. I'm like, you're not. I just want you to be prepared   for what is going to happen. And if you don't wanna ask me, I don't want you to not have a guide.  

Like, so I bought these like, I researched these best New York bestsellers books on, like, how to talk to your kids about their body. And, like, if they don't wanna talk to you about it, I felt like if they don't wanna talk to me, at least they have something they can read. Mhmm.   Mhmm. And I've just put them in their rooms, and I think they've both read them. And then I bought a book. It's called   Sex is a Funny Word or, like, whatever.   And it describes   oh, there's one book called   How Babies Are Made or or this what this is what makes a baby.   That book doesn't just doesn't talk about the actual act of sex. Right. It doesn't really matter. Like, the biology of the creation of a human. A human. Right. And so that's a great book if you don't wanna talk about the actual act of sex. But then there's a book called Sex is a Funny Word or something. And it talks about   sex.  

And recently,   I like, something came into music or we heard something on the radio or watching something, and sex came up. And Luca goes, I don't really need to we don't need to watch that together. And I go, well, how do you know? And he goes, you're the one who bought us the books.   Well, lady. Well, lady. And I was like   Alright. Okay. So you paid attention. Like, I didn't then follow-up and say, like, did you read these books and Right. They're just in my house. Yeah. Yeah. And so forever any of you people who send your kids to my house, I'm sorry. They may have read the book.  

[00:19:43] Unknown:

I will I'm actively going to choose to borrow said books from you  

[00:19:47] Kim Forte:

Yeah. To to be explored. To the New York Times and a friend of mine,   who said, like, she did the same thing where they were like, it's helpful to have a guy that, like, it's hard. I have a daughter who doesn't like to necessarily   process all that and talk about it. I mean, I have a little child. He understands   that, like, she's gonna get a period. It's gonna happen. We've I certainly didn't not talk about it. Mhmm. But there comes a moment where you don't wanna keep saying it. Your kid's like, I don't wanna talk about it. I want to talk about it. I want to talk about it. It's like, okay. I don't wanna be a dick. I'm like, keep going and going and going. Yeah. So   I do find that if you can find a literary   resource What a difference. That, like, helps you and, like you know? And I say this also I say this   as a queer person   to those of you watching.  

Also provide like, my kids are subject to the idea of having   different sexualities,   having different identities because their parents do. So, like, we don't necessarily go out and buy books on queer identity   because they live it. They see it. They have family friends who are it, and they can   understand that culture because they're being raised in it. Having said that,   if you're having a cultural experience for your children   or   they might be in a, you know,   identity experience,   or any of your children can be in an identity experience that you will never know about.   Make sure whatever you buy is so   is written in such a way that embraces   all the opportune or all the orientations of sexuality,   all the gender identities,   all the experiences of race, all the experience of religion,   all the right? Like, don't like, I feel it's very strongly. Like, pea people have written purposeful books   Right.  

About being inclusive   on that. And, like, find those books. Don't find the book that is taking the easy way out. It isn't,   like, just talking about, like, okay. A girl's gonna get her period, and a boy's gonna feel this. And no. Right. Like, that talks about it in a way that, like, your child might not identify in either of those genders, but are still gonna physically experience those things. And I think I did that. I chose books that were more thoughtful in a bigger gender expansive way and as sexual orientations   expansive way. And I as a queer person, I just highly motivate you to do that because your kid may come to you after reading a book like that in your house and say, you know what, mom? I'm queer. Well, I was gonna say you don't want to unintentionally  

[00:22:18] Unknown:

alienate  

[00:22:20] Kim Forte:

your child in your experience and then them being like, I don't see myself here. Like, what's this mean? So don't buy books that assume anything. You know, buy the book that assumes your child may be anybody. Yeah. And then you're gonna start manifesting in them. Like, if this book is in my house, my parent must think   Right. That it's okay. I've been If I come to them and say, like,   I actually am attracted to people of my same gender. I actually am attracted to both people. I'm actually attracted to people regardless of what gender they are. Right. Like, there are so many and this is the amazing part of, like, where the world is going in generation z and, like, their expansive knowledge of each other   is that   this is really a group of humans who   don't wanna hurt each other. Yeah. Don't wanna tell each other that they can't be who they are. Yeah. Really don't I mean, we see this in our own children. Really don't have the desire   to tell people they can't be who they are or can't live the life they wanna live. They just  

[00:23:23] Unknown:

want peace. No. I very intentionally   have been using language   for myself to refer to our kids, whoever they partner with. Not saying their wives because I have all boys. Their wives. Their wives. Their future wives because I'm I was talking about, like, skill building for them, and I'm like, I want them to leave this home. And if they partner and so first of all, if they partner with someone, and I make the assumption that you have to be partnered with someone. Exactly. But if you partner with someone,   whoever that may be and however they identify,   I would like you to show up as, like, the best partner you can be in terms of self living. Right? But I have been making an intentional   decision for myself   to braze it if   partnered if partnered because That's brilliant.  

Rather than, I don't want, you know, your future wife to be looking at me and why you don't know how to, like, clean a kitchen. Well and what the social pressure there is these days   on, like, raise your son to be, like, a good husband to a good wife. Right. Right. I just would like you to, like, please clean up after yourself.  

[00:24:24] Kim Forte:

Yes. By yourself, with a roommate, with any romantic understand how I've been thinking about it lately. Like, I used to think all the time. It was like, I   who are the people you're gonna live with? Like, how are you gonna, like, raise your kids? And then I started thinking, like, now I'm thinking so much lower. Like,   not lower, but, like, more immediate. Mhmm. More immediate. We share a space. More immediate. We share a space. How are you treating me? But, also, like, how does your college roommate gonna feel when you don't think about yourself? When I say I literally have that thought today That's a that that's my vote. It's like, that's now where my mind is like, how is your college roommate going to feel Yeah. When you don't clean up after yourself? Like How are you gonna feel if you're if you have a roommate who doesn't clean up after themselves? Right. Exactly. Yeah. Do you want to make them feel good in their space and you feel good and yours is the only way to do that is to, like Practice good habits. Practice good habits. Yeah. Exactly.  

[00:25:20] Unknown:

Yep.  

[00:25:21] Kim Forte:

That's, like, the the model. And now we're just back, like, to the reality of, like,   there's so much to think about. So much.  

[00:25:29] Unknown:

We have an entire episode in the episode. You've seen the list posted around my house. Like, it's the   responsibility. I don't call them we do call them chores, but I try to refer to responsibilities and privileges Mhmm. Because the motto is responsibilities first, privileges   after.   Because   that is what I'd I I aspire to.  

[00:25:50] Kim Forte:

This is not about being doing things perfectly. I do all sorts of privileges before my responsibilities sometimes, but I like to try to live a life in which I like to get the chip done and give the shit. It's a privilege lately. What what do you feel is your privilege? Like, what do you think is a privilege? Oh, maybe with this, it'd be a question we ask ourselves because I don't know that I have the answer to this. What are you thinking is a privilege? I think so  

[00:26:09] Unknown:

in in a very basic way, I think a lot of myself mean that No. No. I think a lot of my self care things are, like, our privileges. So lately so I literally have on this calendar,   which this is my work calendar, but intentionally,   November no. October, November, December.   I don't get to do a lot of binge watching a television, and I like, I hear, like, a lot of the society being, like, I gotta slow down. I can't like, I need to not binge. And all I wanna do is binge watch television. But the way my life is set up or the way I choose to live my life, it doesn't allow me the space. Right? I actually would love to do more binge watching. So I don't get to do it regularly.   Love that for you. But I have key shows that I'm looking forward to returning. And so I put the release date   for   selling sunset in October. I binged it. While getting my hair braided, I binged most of it, and I just need to watch the reunion episode.  

November, there is a new show called All's Fair, which have you heard of this? I started watching. Oh, Tazio six. I'm like, it's all a lawyer. And,   like, oh, no. It's on my so bad. It's on my November  

[00:27:11] Kim Forte:

It is so bad. But, you know, like I mean, none of it's gonna it's like anytime I watch a show about therapist. And I'm like, oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Tina and I joke that I Tara Paulson is my hall pass, but I'm never allowed to have a hall pass. So she's not really a hall pass, but she's my hall pass. So I'm always gonna watch what she's in. Fair. But I will tell you, I've watched the first three episodes. They are out. They are worth it. If you need I'm just here for a minute.   Do not  

[00:27:35] Unknown:

talk to me, and I It's vampy and campy and, like, exposing dialogue. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's just just all the that you just need to, like, I just need to I just need to watch. I need to seek into this this yes. So to answer your question here about privilege. There's a lot of controversy about, like, oh, Kim Kardashian, Kim  

[00:27:51] Kim Forte:

she does just as fine as the other way views the way it. Right. I'm I'm I'm interested to watch just to give my opinion. It is what it is, and she's no, like, worse. Better or worse. Better or worse than the people who are fine Oscar winning or Tony winning. And probably because of the tag material. What I'm saying. I'm getting the sense. It's not like this is not deep dramatic   acting. It's not as vampy, like, women, like, intent like, fun stuff. I'm here for the outfits and dramas. Looks amazing. Of course. It is worth watching for the fashion. I've I I could see from the trailer. I was like, I want this. This is what I want. I want this. Well, boo.   I like this. Card like, you know, Kim Kardashian, she had some shit on that she's like, oh, no. I'm gonna wear this shit.  



[00:28:35] Unknown:

This is my time. This is my time.  

[00:28:38] Kim Forte:

Like, the the clothes, it's worth watching. Yeah. It's like watching a,   a dramatized fashion show. I know. So so you're gonna see a theme here. So October, Excel, and Saturday. Show because where they found it, the architecture and the houses they make. It's like it it all blends with you what you and I love. Yes. These are my aesthetics. Aesthetics,  

[00:28:59] Unknown:

Clothes, retail, like, architecture,   fashion   Just women. How things look. Like, do you do you see this wallpaper? There was a vision here. And these scenes happen.   Mhmm.   So that's November's show. I have started watching it. And then December,   selling Manhattan returns. So if you see a theme here, I love the high end realty but drama but fashion show. Like, selling sunset is my show. It brings the drama and bullshit of reality television   with   rich ass properties that are beautiful   and, like, fashion. Like, these girls are walking up in shit that, like, Mattel   would create for, like, dominatrix Barbie. You know, it's and I live.  

I don't know. I've given up on the reality thing. But that's the thing. The those are the only reality shows I really watch. They're the real estate reality shows because what happens is I get this nice balance between what the fuck are you were just talking about and look at that beautiful home. Yes. And it, like, gives this balance for me. That's what I love the old HGTVs.   Like Oh. Oh, good old version. Just just like it's like redo a house for me. Redo a house for me. Oh, yeah. Give me give me some of that reconstruction in our house. House good. Yes. Yes.  

[00:30:13] Kim Forte:

And so I'm onto the you know, I've talked to you about this. I'm onto the lakefront bargain hunt. Yes. We're on a lakefront   camp.  

[00:30:20] Unknown:

Mhmm.  

[00:30:21] Kim Forte:

Mhmm. Where you go up for the day. That's where you are. That's where you are. You drive me in two and a half hours for me to go to this place. It's like  

[00:30:29] Unknown:

a Big Sur. Is it caramel by the sea?   Like, beak like, cliffside beach house thing is, like, one of my, like,   it'd be like a second or third home. Yeah. But, like, I want this, like, cliffside   glass,   whatever. That's definitely a vacation home. It's not a homey home. Right. It's just a vacation home. Yeah. That's that's an a vision that I have. But so this is one of the reasons why I love selling sunset. I just like looking at these beautiful homes and then throwing a little drama and these women dressed in what the fuck are you wearing, but I love it outfit. So struggle I have with reality television,  

[00:31:05] Kim Forte:

unlike scripted unlike the vampy scripted television   of all's fair,   as I know all is fair is fake.  

[00:31:14] Unknown:

In reality, I don't know how much is fake and how much isn't. Like Yeah. It it's a blurred line. It's a blurred line. I follow some of the women from Selling Sunset, and they post about   I mean, Chelsea   from selling sunset, she's posting about, like,   the hate that she's received and this and that. And, like, so it's being sold right now. It's pretty real. It's like, there are women on the show who I really don't get along with and I have trouble with and all of that. But I personally am, like, not so invested in that that I'm like I'm not sitting here being like, oh my gosh. They I I'm like, I just wanna see look at these beautiful Well, that's how I do. I just wanna see the pretty song. And, also, there's some drama in there. And to be like, they recorded this season   partially during the wildfire   that took over. Right? So there's some stuff about that. And, like so there's a there's a bunch of stuff thrown in there. But to answer your question about privileges, like, to me, that is a big privilege because I don't get enough or make enough time to just binge stuff. And it's not because I have a desire like, I don't have a desire for it, and by no means am I judging about it. I'm like, I'm here for more binging in my life than I could tell. Like, I know a lot of people are like, I need to, like, not binge so much. I don't binge enough.  

I don't binge enough. If I did, I would, like, sacrifice other things that would make me anxious and upset. That's the reality.   And so   when I can sit so I literally my point is I literally document it on my calendar when these shows release so that I could that's part of my motivation. So I got my October stuff done so that when Selling Sunset was released, I could just sit on the sofa and just watch hours of it. That was my whole   goal and my whole privilege for October. Making me  

[00:32:54] Kim Forte:

redefine privilege for myself.  

[00:32:57] Unknown:

For me, it's a privilege to binge because to be clear. Right? Because I have, like, four kids buzzing around. I just I no. I hear you. I feel like same way. I don't want to watch my shows when the kids are up and around, to be clear. Right? I could, but I'm like, this is ruining the experience, guys. So what it means is I have to take this very, like Yes. I was folding laundry and just, like, basking in the fact that my children were at school. I was in my living room, which I barely tease. Is one of my favorite activities.  

[00:33:26] Kim Forte:

It's been watching TV and folding laundry. Oh my god. I love it.  

[00:33:30] Unknown:

With no children around. Yeah. And I'm just watching this,   like and that again, I don't I can't I I I never can call it guilty pleasure. I don't feel guilty about it at all. I don't feel guilty. There's no guilt.   I wanna see   those five entails.   Interrupted in a decision  

[00:33:47] Kim Forte:

with no one fucking asking me a question and   making decisions out of chaos.   Yeah. Laundry. That's why I love laundry. I was like, I hate laundry. I'm like, what? I love it. Laundry start as chaos  

[00:34:01] Unknown:

with multiple get to see, like And then you take it and you box it and you bucket it and you and then you fold it to hands. I'm like, I'm do I'm doing I'm doing I this is stuff I gotta do, guys.  

[00:34:12] Kim Forte:

Well, that's the other thing is, like, you gotta do this. Laundry and, like, watch TV. Exactly.  

[00:34:17] Unknown:

And I feel have no guilt. Or my favorite pastime. It's like I'm doing the damn laundry. My favorite pastime. But in other case, I'm not sober right now. Look at how loud the laundry, I guess. Get   out. Get out. I love You're walking close? To me, it's my den. Get out. Get out of my den. Yes. Get out of my den. What are you watching? I don't you don't need it now when I'm watching. Credit. You have a room. You have a basement. You have all these things. Yes. You have so much So that is my privilege. And with the glass so that's what I did. So October 29 is when I sell inside the thing. My privilege. What? We're and we're gonna talk about it. But let me just set the scene for you. Kids were at school, selling sunset was released. I had a bunch of laundry to do, and I had wine. And I was in my living room  

[00:34:56] Kim Forte:

living my best life. Honey, that's an emotional orgasm that everybody should feel. Mhmm.  

[00:35:01] Unknown:

I would like to screen up this emotional orgasm. Just for this. Yeah. Yeah. Can you do can you define emotional orgasm for   for the audience? Okay. So what I would oh, look at my hair. It's like It's Again, I think mom moments, again, are gonna get   incrementally more unhinged the more we do, like, in themselves.  

[00:35:20] Kim Forte:

About my term of like like, my gray shirt is coming out. That's not my belly. Please.  

[00:35:25] Unknown:

Sorry. We have to re wait. My chair has gotten farther back. I know. I have to readjust. I wanna look good. Alright.  

[00:35:33] Kim Forte:

So   I do feel like one women never experience enough orgasms   just physically. Is a documented fact. It's a documented fact.   Having said that,   I do think, like, there's pleasures   that can come   if we build them for ourselves,   and I think of them, like, as an emotional orgasm.  

[00:35:57] Unknown:

Mhmm.   Mhmm. Mhmm.  

[00:36:00] Kim Forte:

Yeah.   Like, I'm and listen. Someone else can help you with your emotional orgasm, and it could be a platonic someone,   or it could be a romantic someone.   But it's still, like, an emotional   orgasm.   Right? Mhmm.   Like, I brought myself joy.   Not physical joy. Yep. Yeah. It is. Psychological,   like, just whatever. And so you bring yourself joy.   And I do the same thing with laundry. So I feel this emotional or I share this experience of this emotional orgasm Right. Or this emotional   psychological orgasm in the sense that I feel the same thing. Nothing gives me greater pleasure  

[00:36:38] Unknown:

Mhmm.  

[00:36:39] Kim Forte:

Than, like, watching a show uninterrupted   and doing a task that brings me   fulfillment Yes. To move my family   Yeah. To a better place. Yeah. Yeah. And so that it's a culmination. And I know that's weird, and I'm using the word orgasm, so forgive me when I talk about family and whatever. But the point of it is, like,   I get to do something that I know I have to do,   and that brings,   precision   or, like, regimens   or, like, order to the life of my family. Yeah.   I get to enjoy it,   and I get to do something else I enjoy at the same time.   Mhmm. Mhmm. So that's what I mean by, like, a moment for orgasm. I totally get that. Sometimes it's walking my dog. It's like, I get to say to my family,   do the things I can't do while I'm gone, like clean up the kitchen,   cook dinner, or, like, whatever. Mhmm. I'm gonna, like, walk the dog. I'm gonna, like, take care of him. I'm gonna do, like peace. Quiet. Gonna get my peace and quiet and whatever. He's gonna get what he needs. Yeah. It's it's gonna be met. And maybe as part of that, I'm, like, walking and picking something up for the family, but, like, this   feeling of, like, I'm being satiated,   I guess that's the part of the orgasm. Sorry. I keep using the word. Satiation.  

Is this?   This is Yeah. But the mutual satiation of, like, I'm meeting multiple needs in a joyous way for myself.   For myself. Like,   here, here's the point about moms is we have to meet mutual needs. It's not joyous all the time. It's mostly not. No. No. So, like, the emotional orgasm is, like, I get to meet everybody's needs  

[00:38:26] Unknown:

and my own, and I feel glad about Yeah. Somehow. Right. And it's truly laundry is one of the primary way everybody needs to move. Too. That's the bit my biggest emotional orgasm too. Look at me being a warrior for the family, making sure everybody got clean clothes.   That's no joke.  

[00:38:45] Kim Forte:

And that's You know what? Recently,   with the chaos of our life,   we've had you know, you there are times you get your life gets chaotic, and your kids wake up and they're like, I don't have clean clothes.   I mean, kids grow so fast so long. Like, I have kids that, like, grow so fast. I don't   buy massive   massive wardrobes for that. Mom almost looks like. That's it. And then every six months, they have a whole new wardrobe. So we have to buy clothes every three to six months. 100%. By the way,  

[00:39:13] Unknown:

actually, I'm loving this because, again, this is this is the first episode,   which as we're talking,   because we're the friends that we are, this is gonna be, like, a two or three parts Yeah. Uh-huh. Episode by this point.   But it's helping me realize things I wanna clarify. In my moments, we like, there we don't have to explain certain things like this. Like, we come it's a judgment free zone. It's a no slip zone. Right? If you're a mom, you know about the shit, which is, like, shit be getting crazy. Like, it's laundry thing.  

[00:39:39] Kim Forte:

Wear and you're like, how is it that you didn't fucking tell me that? Like, did when you put your underwear   I'm gonna do the hard smack. This is what I do when I'm so angry at my house. How is it?   They you you put a pair of underwear on, and you saw no other underwear in the drawer.   And you did day, and you did not Tomorrow is another day.  

[00:40:03] Unknown:

Tomorrow. Yeah. You're gonna need underwear tomorrow. But now what else have to do with the kids? Eight, nine, 10 years old, and you don't say,  

[00:40:11] Kim Forte:

mom, I'm out of underwear.   I brought you my laundry,   or can I can you help me do my laundry? Whatever it is, the philosophy in your home,   what happens when they don't see the other pair of underwear for the next day and they don't tell you? You think was gonna happen? The magical underwear fairy was gonna come and say me.   Who?   Who? Who?   Who was gonna tell you you needed to do your laundry?  

[00:40:38] Unknown:

This is what I said to my children. This is what I say. I don't say that. What's gonna tell you to do why are you getting on me? Why am I getting on you? Because you are not gonna go to school tomorrow with clean underwear, and that's on you. And you're looking at me for answers about the the not having the underwear tomorrow, and I didn't I happen not to I just really wasn't checking your underwear drawer drawer like that. I just wasn't. I wasn't. And maybe you thought, yes. I have a little hack for that. There was a You are checking your underwear. I know. Because you're pulling it every morning. It's a goddamn I don't know.   But I do have a little hack. The the so this is a guideline in my household for the older kids. Do weekly laundry now, so I'm There we go. Because I'm like, when you have three pair of pants, love and that's another thing about mom moments. I think it'll be helpful. Any hacks you wanna share. So, like, you guys do weekly laundry. For me, currently, I'm the laundry doer in the house. Like, I do all the laundry. I like it that way for right now. I'm gonna start integrating the older boys into it. We literally just have this conversation of how we're gonna do this. But for right now, I do the laundry, all the laundry. So the older boys, the two older boys have the instruction that when you see three pairs of pants, only three left hanging in your closet,  

[00:41:42] Kim Forte:

you bring your hamper That's what I love about you is that, like, you think like a yeah.  

[00:41:47] Unknown:

That's when I know. A behavioral.   To watch. Yeah. That's right. Oh, I love them. I love some behavioral.  

[00:41:53] Kim Forte:

If you need a behavioralist therapist, this is the gal I call because she's a behavioralist. Because.  

[00:41:58] Unknown:

So it triggers me. Okay. I need to do their laundry, but yet they have enough pair to get them through the next few days. Because what had happened before   Yeah. Was,   I don't have any pants. Can you wash them tonight? Exactly. Like, I can't wash them tonight.   I will not.   I what?  

[00:42:15] Kim Forte:

That's not how laundry happens. It doesn't get a turnover of, like, see, like, I'm so bad. I would be like, yeah. I can do a quick wash in the morning at 6AM. No. You just spoke in. I know. I won't do it. I know. I know. You also know my rule about underwear stuck in the pants. I don't watch it. I know they had to wear a second. I'm I don't wash them. I am I I'm guilty. I don't wash them. Person that would be like, yes. I can do a quick wash. I can do a twenty six minute wash and a a forty minute drive by the time you have to head out the door and you can change in the downstairs bathroom. Because I feel like what I am doing is enabling you to continue to be able to at the last minute. Red?  

[00:42:52] Unknown:

Say, wear my pants. I'm out of here.   I and to be fair. Right? I'm not saying it's a good thing, but I'd like to take you in the mind of Tracy for a moment. I am highly motivated by   a conversation. I don't know. I have to do the math. Math is not my subject. But is it fifteen years from now or so   of   any of my boys' future partners?   So they were talking about, like, the older kids. Right? Mhmm. Being like,   who raised you?   I'm not the answer to be   a person   who did their freaking best and taught them what they need to know whether they choose to follow that or not is on them. But you won't be able to leave this house saying, I didn't show you that, that I didn't help you create those habits, that I just, like, offloaded you onto some forest goal I agree with you. Who was like, well, got it.   I agree with you. And so I think I have those moments. Right? It's like Raven on the Raven Symone show, which is blast forward forward in the future. Right. And I could bring myself back. I'm like, oh, you need to learn how to   do laundry Yeah. Or plan ahead Yeah. Or scramble some eggs, which we're gonna be getting to. These are things that are on the the checklist or put dishes away or just be considerate   of other people,  

[00:44:04] Kim Forte:

not only in your space, but who do the task that you do. The same thing where you and I are the same moms. You and I are always on that about, like,   you don't live   in a silo.   Nope. You exist   in an experience.   Yes. Sometimes you are alone. Mhmm. That gives you certain levels of freedom.   Other times, you are part of a family or or larger community beyond your immediate family Yeah. Or your chosen family. And you have to think about how your behavior impacts each other   and how you're gonna manage, like, cleaning up after yourself, contributing to the collective   contributing to the collective. You are not an individualist.  

But   I have thought, like, in this idea of clothes, just get back to that. Like, I've worked really hard   that, like   I don't think kids understand their agency sometimes about what they have control of. Right. Or it's because of moms Mom. Mommy. Them what they know. And do and I got it. I handle I got it. Boom. Boom. Boom. And so I have this Like, you asked me, like, what's your tidbit? My tidbit is this.   If there's something my kids don't like and won't wear   or doesn't fit them anymore,   I say throw it in the hall.   Like, I'll say, today is the day to clean the drawers.  

Today is the day to clean the drawers. I don't take it personally. It might be something I bought them and then that I deal on. I like them too. Tub. Yep. And it broke my heart that they never liked wearing it or they never wore it at all.   But I say, like, I do this, like, maybe once a month, once every six weeks. That. Be once every eight weeks. And I say, listen.   We've got some downtime on a Saturday morning. It's raining. It's quiet. It's we don't have plans today.   I've been doing laundry. I'm doing whatever. I need you to go through your drawers, and I need you to throw   write and down. Throw in the draw throw in the hall   anything you don't like or don't wanna wear.  

And that way, I know what I need to replenish their wardrobe with Yeah. And I don't judge them for it. So, like, if it's eight shirts I bought   my daughter   and, like, a a particular shirt, I never like  

[00:46:21] Unknown:

that.   Just saying that just now. I'm like, but but but I like that shirt.  

[00:46:26] Kim Forte:

That stylish shirt, I bought three of them or five of them. Okay.   She had her own mind.   In that moment, she didn't have the agency to tell me she didn't like the shirt,   but I knew it looked good on her. It looked the way I wanted her to look,   but I   so I bought them.   Mhmm. And so, like, yeah, you're gonna lose money.   You're gonna feel in this moment that you wasted money,   but you're gonna learn it doesn't work for them. Right. Right. And, also, you're gonna learn   what's lost for them. Like, they don't have any T shirts they like.   Mhmm. So they're figuring out other ways to, like, clothe themselves to go to school   that maybe they feel They don't feel great at it.  

I get that. Right? We can doll take ourselves back to back. Right. Like, your mom bought you clothes that you didn't feel great in. And so my feeling is, like, you have to consistently   go through their clothes.   That is my thing. And do it once a month, once every six weeks. Don't let it get too long. Do not go over two months. Yeah. Like, everyone's like seasonally. Nope. No. Your kids grow faster than seasons. Right. You're right. And, also, they're   they're   the   the fads   change quicker than seasons. Yeah. So what you're not realizing is, like, they might like something. They go to school in it. Other kids think it's an option. Right. They'll never wear it again. Right. And it sits in their drawer, but they still need that shirt. And and I'm a firm believer, and this is also what I advocate. I don't overbuy for my kids. My kids don't have Yeah. Eight That I don't 20 pairs of pants or errors, you know, 30 t shirts. They don't.   They have, like, a good two weeks of clothes. K. Because the fact of the matter is their clothes change every month.  

Mhmm. Mhmm. And if you want to feel free to spend your money to change your your kids' clothes every three to four months, don't overbuy   for them.   Because when you do, then you're gonna be resent  

[00:48:29] Unknown:

Right. Yes. Rebuy. Letting go of the thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So if you don't overbuy,  

[00:48:34] Kim Forte:

you don't resent letting go of something that maybe you paid $25   for that they thought they liked in the moment and then, like, they never wore and whatever. And I just had this happen, and I   I got upset with my daughter about it. And then I thought, like, okay. There are things I bought I don't like. Oh, yay. And it sat in my and you know what? A lot when when I signed up. Okay.   So, like, I had to also   understand. I've had the same experience my children have. So what I don't less agency,   right, over the So what I don't do is put the pressure on them to buy them a whole wardrobe. Right. Don't buy them a whole wardrobe. It's real.   Buy them the pieces   they need.  

Shoes. They do they need sweatshirts right now. Are the sweatshirts too small? Are the jackets too small?   Go through everything.   And if the pants aren't too small and they're not up to, like, speed,   so what? Right. Wait   till they are too small. Right. And then buy the next. And then, like, that's my tip on wardrobe because I sort of feel like kids can   you can buy and buy and buy, and then you can be angry and upset that, like, what you bought   went to waste.   So then be smarter and don't waste. Yeah. Be thoughtful and then say to your kids anything you don't like, anything that doesn't fit you,   anything you're not gonna wear again, throw in the hallway.  



[00:49:58] Unknown:

Yeah. And then assess what that throwing is and then go count.   In essence,   do less   and check-in with your child Yeah. In there.   Like, as they're getting older. Right? And, again, this all has to do with the the parenting transition. Right? When I'm dressing a three and four year old, I'm picking the stuff, and I'm like, oh, you're gonna wear this. And they're getting older, and they have opinions, understandably, on how they dress and how they look and all of that. And to your point, that idea of, like, buying for two weeks. So I think and, right, you tailor it for your lifestyle. For me, because I do the laundry, my concept is,   ideally, it it has been that every member of a family can can, if they need to,   get through three to four weeks of clothing   without it having to be washed. Right. Realistically,   everyone's clothing really gets washed and probably on every two week basis based on their their, hamper getting full. But to your point   My kids grow too fast for that. Right. If, like, the older kids have their opinions or they're growing,   there is it makes sense to   buy for two weeks so that when they do change that, whether it's by because of growth or preference,  

[00:51:12] Kim Forte:

you don't feel so attached to it. Because I think that we add to our wardrobes   on a monthly to bimonthly basis. So I think about it from that concept. Like,   I'm likely buying my kids' clothes based on their growth patterns   every eight  

[00:51:29] Unknown:

to 10 And so this brings up a good point. This is a different experience.   My child's growth pattern  

[00:51:35] Kim Forte:

My kids grow faster. Slower. You and I have a different experience.  

[00:51:38] Unknown:

Yeah. Alright. My kids grow. Highlighting something. Way faster than your My child.  

[00:51:43] Kim Forte:

I mean and you and I know this visually, and you, viewer, do not know this or you, listener, don't know this. But,   literally,   my children   are young adult size in the sense that they're probably the size of a freshman in high school Right. Right. Or equitable, and they're only in the fifth grade. Yeah. Yeah. They're definitely the size of seventh and eighth graders. Yeah. And you have a child who's the sixth grader. So, like, he'll have the, like, high water issue. But, like, that waist, we still be we're just stinching it. Yeah. From last year's kitchen. He's a tall, lanky kid. Same same height as my kids, but not filling out in the same way that, like, I'm taking my daughter to junior buys. Like, she's going into the junior sections of girls. We tell those. And he's and yeah. We're supposed to have a there's a lot of the fact that this again, I don't have girls. No. I'm like, we're just have a little if she's open to it, shopping dates. Yeah. We're like, I do it. So I'm just gonna put that up. We're gonna just to remind you. Sorry. I'm living vicarious. Doesn't like my taste. And I'm living vicariously through a mom who is a girl, and I wanna buy a girl clothes. In the junior section. It's like It's like we're entering into that. And she's only in the fifth grade. But most of our most of their friends, in all honesty,   are still shopping in the children's sections. My kids are no longer shopping in the children's sections. That's not an option for us. We don't shop in children's shoes anymore. Like, we are taller kids. Like, I have taller kids. So,   you know, it's   a it's complicated when it comes to the draw wardrobe because not only is the emotional or fad thing a part of it, it's also   the reality   that, like, it's growth.  



[00:53:23] Unknown:

It's just simply gross. I'm slightly experiencing that with, our our oldest son,   because   we're right on the last sizes of kids. So Cat and Jack, the, brand, which is like a a target brand. Cat and jack for I know. I know. Because school programs are like working. I know.   And he's right on the last sizes. Kids.  

[00:53:45] Kim Forte:

A lot of love with cat jack. Yeah. I'm having this fish for all of  

[00:53:50] Unknown:

them. We hold space on mom moments for  

[00:53:53] Kim Forte:

space. Can I check my book? Yeah. Well, we're right on the the last target. No. Thank you for the, like, lack of DEI.   No.  

[00:54:01] Unknown:

Well, it's We're struggling target. We're struggling   complicated We're struggling. Conversation.   Just saying we're struggling target. Like, I'm  

[00:54:10] Kim Forte:

well, that's a whole other conversation. Whole another conversation.  

[00:54:13] Unknown:

Whole another podcast. He's right on the the edge of that. Yeah. Like, the other day, Josh was like, oh, you know, Josh, she's in a size eight. I'm like, eight what? What do you mean? What's an eight? Like, he's talking about a shoe. I'm like,   but you're a size twelve shoe.   So what do you mean he's a size eight shoe? I don't understand.   Are you sure? I'm questioning his father.   Right. I'm like, we're so you you press the toe. How close was the toe? Because I don't when you say he's a size eight, I really don't I kinda don't believe it. Look at you like, no. He's a men's eight. Shut up. I'm like, I don't  

[00:54:45] Kim Forte:

know. But So if it makes you   even blow your mind even more,   I'm a women's size seven,   and my 10 year old daughter wears a women's   nine. No. Shoe.  

[00:54:58] Unknown:

No. There are times when I will discount a parent's experience.  

[00:55:03] Kim Forte:

I don't believe you. Listen. And we can have a whole podcast about   donation.   You know, my kids were an embryo donation,   and so they are not my biological   material, and they're not Tina's biological material. And   so,   our donors were, you know, great, healthy,   strong people. Mhmm. So I gave birth   to the product of great, healthy, strong people. But when you watch your daughter wears   a nine pet issue, and you're still in this know that. So sorry. Because I am gosh  

[00:55:43] Unknown:

darn.   This is hard for   for, like the whole podcast. Petite people well, I'll speak for myself. I also wear a seven to seven and a half. So you're saying that the   the girl that I know,  

[00:55:55] Kim Forte:

your daughter Yeah. Wears a bigger shoe sizes. She does strongly. I know you're her mother, but I don't believe you. So it's okay. Sorry. I'm gonna have Tracy try Kyle's shoes on. Kyle's tennis shoes on. Next time, she's in my house. But, yes, Kyle's shoe is bigger than your one too, darling. Oh,   I'll accept that for her.   I don't   What Tracy doesn't realize is what everyone sees now is that my children are my height. So everyone thinks, oh, Kim's so such a story. Her kids are just a ride. It's so cute.   Wait till they're taller than these bitches. I know. Alright. Okay.  



[00:56:30] Unknown:

I have got a lot of acceptance of my short stature. But Listen. When you are a person who lives in the world   shorter Yeah. I'm a short stature person. Yep. You find that so Josh and I, who was saying, he   he doesn't look down. I'm like, did you see that? He's like, I'm sorry. My eyes are I'm like, well, I have not that tall. Right? But, like,   compared to us, he's tall. I think he's six foot,   which for me is, like, so yeah. Oh, yeah. He's tall. And so with that, I'm like, well, I'll enjoy the leg room on the plane. Exactly. That's it. That's it. That's it. So happy. That's it. I like this idea of ending mom moments on a mom hat, and you gave me personally, me personally, a very good one about here's the thing. With my older boys. I'm like because I see stuff hanging in that closet that you have not touched. I loved about our school. Our school had a rule, and I'm gonna give this the rule to you guys too who are watching. If your kid can raise her hand and their belly shows, the shirt goes out.  

[00:57:29] Kim Forte:

No doubt. The shirt goes out. No belly should be shown   from the ages of eighth grade and older   younger. Now some people will say, oh, my eighth grader goes with her belly shows. That's your choice.   Fine. But I know teachers don't like it. So I'm saying if you wanna support and respect your teachers   between the ages of eighth grade and o and younger,   if your child can raise their hand and their skin is gonna show in their midriff, that shirt does not fit them.   That's a shirt to toss.   If your kids   don't like it and they bought it because you wanted them to and it doesn't   really fit them and you they really haven't worn it in thirty   to forty five days Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.  

Get over the fact that you bought it. You know? Check-in with them two weeks. I mean, the best thing is to say is two weeks in after you buy something is to say, like, do you really like it? Because if you don't, I can still return it and get my money back or get a credit, and you can get something else else you like. That's me with jeans. I've accepted my two older boys will not wear jeans, so I did not buy them for this school year. That's the other thing I was saying, like like, I it took me a long time with my daughter to get to that point. And now I'm at the point where I was like, you choose. And I will tell you, I am also at the point where my daughter tells me how to wear my makeup and tells me how to how I I ask her   I ask her advice on my outfits now because she has, like, a look that she sees, and her makeup is beautiful, and she has a   sense of style I enjoy.  

So I I embrace that. And but I just wanna say, like, it started with me just saying,   throw this stuff in the hallway.   I   do go through it with them. I'm not gonna say I don't, like, go piece by piece with them. That's how it started. It started with me saying,   does this fit? Do you like it? I'm not gonna be insulted. And I think that's how I would start. I would start by going through your kids' drawers saying, like,   even if we bought it on a special occasion,   if you don't like it, I don't wanna keep it. Yeah. Your life is limited. I need you to wear clothes you like. Yeah. I need you to have enough clothes you enjoy wearing. You have to feel good about how you present yourself in the world. And I think that's your goal.   Like, it's not about, like, does it fit? Does it whatever? Part of the feel.  

How do you feel in the clothes? Right. That's the question you're asking your child. Do you feel good in this?   Do you not feel good in this? Does it fit you in a way? And some of so, like,   my daughter and I have this, like, controversy because she's like, well, I feel great in it. And I'm like, yeah. Except your entire   belly shows when you raise your hand,   and you're great. You can't do that. That and so what I say is that's a pajama shirt.   It's a pajama shirt. Just to keep it. You don't get to get rid of it. If you love it, that's my other tip.   Sometimes your kids should get rid of clothes   that don't fit them. Right. Or they have a a hole in it or a stain. They have a stain.  

Yes. And you wouldn't otherwise want them to wear them to school or with your family or in other circumstances,   but this doesn't mean they don't get to wear them in their house. Right. Right. So if it's a meaningful piece to them,   they get to keep it as long as they want as long as it's a pajama shirt. Right.   I like that.   So make whatever   I saw this recently on a reel. It's like, I never had pajamas. I just had old clothes that my parents put in before. I took a bunch of shirts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever's old that they mean something,   we say, is this a pajama shirt? Because it's not a school shirt. It's not an outside shirt. It's not a wear with your family shirt. Yeah. And my kids go, it's a pajama shirt. Right. And if it's not, they   tend to let it go. Right. So my point is give them choices, but let them know   that some things are not socially acceptable after a while. Know their agency, but help them understand the the guidelines and the the boundaries. And so today, my daughter wore a t shirt that is a pajama shirt,   but we went as a family on a Sunday,   and her belly showed. But I didn't care because it was a Sunday. She's not in school. Right. But, like, you have to differentiate for them. You have to help them work the difference between when you're   acceptable work. Right. Right. Exactly. That's the point you're getting to them. It's like, what's suitable work clothes?  

This is what you're training. Like, I read   even before I have   children or talk to people   when I was trying to have kids. It's like, you're not really raising children. You're raising adults. You're raising trying to  

[01:02:14] Unknown:

raise well functioning human beings Yeah.  

[01:02:18] Kim Forte:

Who integrate well into society. You said it much better than me.   That's what we're going for. That's what we're going for. Thank you for your time. This was an amazing one.  

[01:02:28] Unknown:

Alright. That was part two of mom moments with Kim Forte. Remember, you can always subscribe to coach Tracy on YouTube in order to follow the podcast   and get the video elements. But, also, you can listen to the podcast on any podcast platform of your choice.   Also, you can follow me or I should say you can join my email list to get emails about what's going on in the coach Tracy camp to be aware of upcoming,   events and products and services, such as a free webinar that I will be doing in December   and the date better program launching in January.   So if you're interested in joining the email list, just look at the show notes, and there is a link for you to be able to join. See you soon.