Bitter to Better

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In today’s wonderfully real and slightly chaotic episode, I share an update on the “mom friends” journey I first talked about back in episode two—recording between kid cameos, dog breathing, and a rogue fungus gnat. Four years into my new town, these friendships with other moms have blossomed into a supportive, reciprocal network that enriches my life, my kids’ lives, and even my dating and partnership. From emergency pickups, childcare swaps, and school drop-off help, to shared resources, playdates, pool days, and planning couples’ nights as life evolves, I talk about how these relationships create safety, reduce stress, and expand possibilities—especially for single moms who are dating.

I also offer practical, intentional ways to build your own local circle: show up at school events (even the boring ones), say hello to neighbors, try Meetup, and dive into local Facebook mom groups tailored to your stage of parenting. You only need one or two solid connections to feel held—and to give that support back. If you haven’t yet, go back to episode two for the origin story, then listen in for how those early introductions turned into a community that makes dating logistics easier, parenting lighter, and everyday life more joyful.

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May turn out to be the most chaotic episode of this podcast ever.   I   look like I don't know what.   Chapstick is the best I have right now.   I'm in the clothes that I changed into after picking the kids up from school and running errands, But I am so determined to be on top of my recording schedule that I'm doing something I never do, which is or I rarely do or try not to do, something I really try not to do, which is recording   while the kids are around.   But during this episode, which I just may end up deleting if it's too wild.   During this episode, I won't be surprised if one or both of my kids come into the office. My dog's been trying to get in, but at least she lacks opposable thumbs, so she can't open the door. And   my my plants,   are having a bit of a fungus gnat.  

I wouldn't even say infestation. There's not a lot of them, but there's one or two flying around, and I had to just kill one before I press record. So if you see a tiny little bug, it's just if you're a plant lady, you know. Okay? And that's all I have to say. But I am determined to stay on top of my recording schedule,   and I did not get to record anything last week.   And so I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I've already talked about how I'm   pressing record and I'm going because this is the life I live. And if I'm gonna do this, it has to be done. There is also emotional support line here. So there might be some emotional support sifts throughout this process. But today's episode   is   an update   on mom friends.  

So episode two of this podcast is an episode in which I excitedly shared that I met some   fellow moms in my new town.   That town that I the town that I've now been living in since so   wait.   Oh my gosh. Is it going on four years?   Oh my goodness. So I guess going on four years.   I   have,   thoughts   and updates to share about just building,   your social circle,   Again, how it impacts dating, how it impacts   life management, stress management,   and parenting and single parenting and all that good stuff. So that is to say,   we are talking about,   making not really just making mom friends, but fostering relationships   with mom friends or friends in general. But, again, because I am very much talking   to single moms who are dating,   then the idea of mom friends is a particularly,   important topic.  

So with that, if you have not already listened to episode two of this podcast, then go way back and listen to episode two.   I met a group of women who   have children   my oldest son's age, and they attend school together.   And,   yeah, I met them, and I   am friends with them,   and these relationships have evolved.   And   I want to share about my experience   in with in in fostering these relationships   and,   meeting these women.   So   I mentioned in that episode or, really, I talked about in that episode the importance of just building a social network. So   it is important to build a social network of different types of people. Everyone from dating partners to professional contacts,   to friends, to fostering family relationships,   and all of that. In particular,   as a single mom, a single dating mom, having other mom friends can be particularly   special.  

So   I,   you know, talk about the fact that   when you make connections   with other people,   you then have you know, you can build emotional support for yourself and for someone else. You can,   work on fostering reciprocal relationships in which there's a give and take in various ways, in the emotional support, in child care,   in   having someone to go out and do things with, in receiving advice and tips and resources about various things, right,   and being able to make other connections through one another. All of these things are possible when you have good social relationships.   And so   I just wanted to kind of generally talk about,   you know, my experience in   and really the benefits of fostering   these mom,   friendships that I have. And some of these women, you were you will hear on the podcast during my mom moments series. So that will also be pretty fun.  

So I just have my notes here, my handy dandy notes,   so that I can   reference them,   about just some things that   have come up recently in my own life   around things that have been really,   good to have from these mom friends. There is a friend who's offered to,   you know,   watch   my   my older son during a period of time where I'm gonna take a quick trip somewhere. Shh. It's a secret.   It won't be a secret forever, but it's a little bit of a secret.   And,   they have offered to to watch him, and that is hugely helpful.   There is a friend who makes the drinks oftentimes for the get togethers and the gatherings. And I'm currently cooking up a little Halloween   party,   birthday party for my oldest stepson,   and,   and she is going   to make drinks.  

There is another friend who recently had a sleepover,   for her son and   took a number of our children,   and and kept them.   These are all things that   have helped to make my life and my children's lives   and my partner's life,   you know,   life more   more rich, more full,   and and has allowed us to feel very supported   and cared for. And then, like,   these are women who I know I can reach out to around pickup and drop off of my kids at school.   These are friends who we go to one another's homes, and this one's like, hey. Come use the pool. And this one's like, hey. Use the the yard or, like like, whatever. Like, I'm like, hey. Bring kids over. They can hang out. We have a a basement set up for the kids. Like, all of those sort of things.   Through connections with other moms,   I had, you know, friend who's, you know, getting swim lessons, you know, for her son and   through knowing another mom. And all of these things are the things that   help you be and feel supported   and that help to provide a sense of security and safety   in your life, in the life of your children.  

So really think about this in the context of being a single mom   and dating   and how impactful and important it can be to   have people like this in your life.   I was able   to help a friend in,   an emergency where I needed to, you know, run you know, drive down to a summer camp, you know, really quickly,   to check-in on,   you know, one of her kids who had gotten injured.   You know, she was on her way from work.   I have a friend who we're exchanging, you know, information. I'm I'm giving, like, plant advice based on my amateur,   plant mom status, and she's getting into it. The point is,   these are all, like, small and large ways in which I feel supported,   help other moms feel supported, and we   feed into   the lives of our kids. And I have to say that for me, it's been a very   awesome and enriching experience to have met these women and then continue to foster these relationships.  

And   it also kind of extrapolates   into a a bigger community   of other moms   who, you know, we I connect with on maybe a less consistent basis, but also some of those moms will also be on the podcast during mom moments. I've been reaching out to my mom community. I've been reaching out to my mom community   and,   setting up   plans to have conversations about various things that impact women, moms,   women who are dating,   entrepreneurs,   all sorts   of people,   all sorts of women who are living various life experiences.   So, really, this is was just my, like, update on the fact that it's gone really well for me in terms of my building of relationships with other moms in my community.   And it's been to a huge benefit for me, my kids, again, my life partner who I brought into my life   after   meeting some of these women,   and just the connections that have formed there.  

And it's   it's really helped   me feel held,   and I try to also do the same for these friends to help them feel   held as well.   And so this was just kind of a pop in. Like I said, you know, listen to episode two as well to get background on the idea of forming social,   social networks, but particularly of moms, other moms. Because also and this is something I I believe I mentioned that mentioned in that past episode,   specifically around dating. Right? If you have a community like this, again,   women who you feel comfortable   being able to reach out to about picking up and dropping off your child, babysitting,   watching your kids, stuff like that, it really opens up the possibility   possibilities for you around dating and being able to go on a date and have someone who   you can trust with your kids and who you can,   share your experiences with and get feedback from, and you can reciprocate.  

And it it's a back and forth and a give and take as any healthy   relationship of any kind should be. It should be reciprocal.   And so,   imagine what that does for your dating life if you have that type of community. Right?   And so I can't   I can't encourage it enough   to be intentional   about forming,   you know, even one or two solid   mom friend relationships   in your community.   And some mom friends might be a bit more distant from you physically, but, you know, maybe you're able to have an emotional connection and be emotionally   supported and supportive of that person. But, also, you'd want ideally a couple of of people who you can physically see with some consistency so you have someone to hang out with or you can do play dates with your kids or   you can babysit for them. They can babysit for you. All of these various things.  

You know, with with,   one of these friendships, it's evolved now into being able to have, like, to plan some couples dates because   when I met these friends, I was single, but now I have a life partner, and they also are in a committed   relationship. And, you know, so they are able to,   join with us to do couples dates. So these friendships also, you know, can evolve over time as your life changes and evolves. So   you wanna think about where you can meet   people like this, which are moms   with kids,   your child's age. Obviously, school is, like,   the easiest   the or the most obvious place besides maybe, like, in your neighborhood on your street if you happen to have neighbors who have kids who are the around the same age as your kids. Right? But making sure you're going to school events,   you know, just to be able to show your face and say hello. You go to one school event. You see somebody one time. You go to a second school event, you say hi from before, and it builds from there. So I guess also the idea of going to some some school events that maybe you are not necessarily   particularly   interested in, but knowing that you'll be able to show up there and see some of the same faces and have them see yours. And if your kids connect   or just so you can set up play dates to see how the kids connect and see how you connect with the, you know, the other parent.  

It's similar to dating in that way in which I'm suggesting you be intentional and deliberate about doing these things. Right? Also, again, getting out in your neighborhood, if you notice that there are families,   with kids that around your child's age and saying hello and introducing yourself. You never know what seeds you're planting when you introduce yourself to people and you make sure to say hi and you're you're open because sometimes people need that permission to approach and to engage. And if you know that you are trying to form,   connections, then you can be that person who initiates that. But also outside of school events or, like, your neighborhood,   you can look into meetups. So I'm always talking about, the meetup app   and how you can look for meetups in your area   that might cater specifically to moms, but also just might cater to other women   who you can go and meet and find that they have kids and,   maybe make some connections there. With Meetup, it may or may not be like, you can look it in your area,   but it may not be quite as local as, like, your child's school or obviously your neighborhood.  

But another good place are actually local Facebook groups. So going on Facebook and looking up specifically around your town,   and, you know,   moms in this area, stuff like that. There are a lot of those type of groups, and then you can get more specific. There might be moms of children with special needs, moms of infants,   on and on and on and on. And engaging in those groups, joining them,   looking at who's posting and what they're posting about, adding some posts of your own, attending any of the meetups that those groups host   because   they will be local   and so you're more likely to meet some women and some moms   who are near you, who you can physically see more often,   and, you know, your kids may be able to,   meet up as well. So these are just some,   ways to really get out there and intentionally   try to meet other moms who   could become good friends. You only you only need a couple. You only need a couple to feel   well supported and held and,   to be able to reciprocate that. So I strongly, strongly suggest   that   you make,   forming mom friendships part of your dating plan, quite frankly. Because   in various ways,   those   women can be,   a really supportive   tribe for you, and you can show up as a support for them as well. So this was just my little update on   the, meeting of my mom friends   a couple years ago,   and how I'm very grateful for for   the friendships that I fostered and the relationships I fostered.  

And,   I'm and it's not to say that all of these,   interactions are easy to navigate.   The dynamics   between people ebb and flow for various reasons based on different things going on in their lives. But by all means, it's worth it.   And I just really encourage you to be intentional about going out there and meeting some mom friends. Alright. That's all.