Welcome back to the Bitter to Better podcast! In this episode, we're embracing new changes as we introduce a visual component to our podcast, inspired by the trend of video podcasts. Broadcasting from my home office, affectionately known as the Shimmer Shack, I share insights on how my approach to podcasting has evolved to fit my busy mom life. This episode marks a slight rebranding as I focus on providing dating advice specifically for mothers navigating the complexities of dating post-breakup. While my guidance is tailored for moms, much of it remains relevant for all women and even men, as we explore effective, empowered, and enjoyable dating strategies.
Today's discussion centers around preparing to date during the Fall season, as kids head back to school. We delve into the logistics of balancing school schedules with dating, including planning daytime dates and leveraging childcare options like after-school programs and playdates. I also touch on the importance of building a supportive social network with other parents, and how extracurricular activities can offer opportunities for quick dates. Additionally, we explore the fun of transitioning into a fall wardrobe and the significance of self-evolution in enhancing our dating experiences. Join me as we strategize for a fulfilling dating season this Fall!
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Ep. 15: How to EFFECTIVELY Use Dating Apps
https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/tracie-pinnock3/episodes/Ep--15-How-to-EFFECTIVELY-Use-Dating-Apps-e23suk1
YouTube Dating Playlist
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLObSssg8bFJg9YOmEvEv_3_ir_mg4Niuh&si=nmhKlxg70eDoAjJm
[00:00:01]
Tracie Pinnock:
Welcome back to the Bitter to Better podcast. There's a lot going on in this episode. For instance, as you can see, you can see me. We are trying out some new things here because all the girlies are putting their podcasts on the YouTubes, so here we go. I'm in my home office, better known as the Shimmer Shack. There are crickets outside my window. Maybe you'll be able to hear them, maybe you won't. Josh is upstairs on a work meeting, and I can hear him, though my door is closed, so it's a little better now. But also due to the wonders of editing, you might not hear any of this by the time this is all edited and put together.
And also what comes with video is, like, my hair needing to be a little bit on point. You being able to see this pimple that has decided to pop up on my head, hormonal acne. So we're getting what we're getting. As you know, if you've listened to the last few sporadic episodes of the podcast, I'm doing more of this just press recording go because the earlier days of the podcast, I really was doing this. I need to be in a perfectly quiet space. Everything has to be prepared, little more scripted because I'm trying to get advice and guidance out there that's helpful and not waste people's time. I still don't wanna waste people's time, and I still wanna give guidance and advice that's helpful, but it's also gonna have to be a little more on my, like, busy mom life terms. So here we are. But I think that appeals to my audience, which is moms who are dating, because that's the other thing. We're doing a bit of a a slight rebranding around here with coach Tracy.
That's the brand, where my my work is always for women who are dating, but I really wanna niche in on mothers who are dating and looking to partner and be in in relationships. People who have gone through or are going through a breakup, especially who have kids because it adds just different layers to this whole thing. That being said, it does not mean that if you don't have children that my advice can't be helpful, because it absolutely is. I don't know. 90% of it, 80% of it just applies to women. I always say, like, 75% of it applies to men and women. Like, a lot of it is just basic things to do and not do in order to have more effective, enjoyable, and efficient. That's the word.
Really, no empowered. Empowered, effective, and enjoyable dating. Things to do and not do. Anyway, now that I'm done with that spiel, welcome to the Bitter to Better podcast. There will be a visual component to it now, at least most of the times if I'm not looking straight up wild. So, here we are. And today's episode is about preparing to date in the fall or in mom speak during back to school time. The kids are back in school or about to be depending on what part of the country you live in. I am in Connecticut, and, kids went back to school this week. We do the back to school before Labor Day thing. I know New York does after Labor Day. From my calculation, they're, like, the last or some of the last to go back to school because they're also some of the last to get out of school because they begin out of school the June around my birthday, which I was never about.
But, anyway, here we are. I digress. So I just want to talk about preparing for dating in the fall, and I would like to do this seasonally. So I would like to also I'm planning, like, preparing for dating in the winter, preparing for dating in spring, preparing for dating in the summer, my favorite dating season. Anyway, so for the fall, as a mother preparing to date, what are things to think about? What are things to do? My first thought is around the fact that the kids are going back to school. Right? So there are things to think about in terms of, on one hand, during the day, your kids are in school. So if you are someone who works from home or, has, you know, a part time schedule with work or something like that, you do have more flexibility or freedom during the day, during the daytime hours with the kids being in school. But, also, what you need to prepare for are things like school drop off or pick up if you transport your kids, or being at the bus stop if you need to be at the bus stop to get them off the bus.
So you're going to be factoring in these things in your dating life and dating world. So I think of it as, like, for me, I have my calendar, and I have an alarm alarm that goes off every day to remind me to pick my kids up from school. Because 99% of the time, I'll remember that, but I get honed in on some stuff. And for me, my mind is constantly like, you have until this time to get stuff done before these kids come home and wreck it all. Wreck it wrecking it all meaning the house itself, your mental stability, your focus, all of these sort of things. Right? So I try to get all my stuff done before for me about 02:30.
That's when I start getting myself prepped to to pick them up. And so what that means for me is sometimes I can get really into what I'm doing around that time, and I wanna make sure I have an alarm that, like, snaps snaps me out of it and has me go get my kids. And for example, right now as we speak, I'm recording this podcast and hoping to record one or two other episodes and just batch the episodes. I'm doing that right now at 12:50PM on a Thursday so that I can, tend to the kids or do tasks that don't require me showing up in a coherent manner. Because once these kids get here, it's all over. Okay? And so here we are. So one of the things you wanna think about is during the day, if I am someone who's at home during the day, I do have more of those daytime hours. So because the kids are at school. So I remember when I was dating and the kids were in school, I would aim to, schedule daytime dates when I could, which is great for coffee or, like, a brunch type thing.
It would, you know, free up my time for the evenings when the kids are around. And I have to cook dinner, and I wanna spend time with them, or I might have evening work sessions, things like that. So just keep thinking about how you can tailor, dating life to daytime hours when possible. If If you're someone who's working during the day, especially out of the home, maybe you do a lunch hour and you literally just have a a quick coffee, things like that, which also let me digress just for a second because the current discourse on the social medias is this whole thing about accepting coffee dates and not not accepting coffee dates. I definitely think this deserves a bigger episode. And I understand the points on both sides of why people would be okay with the first date as a coffee date and and why people wouldn't be. A lot of it has to do with mindset. But if you've been in this camp for a while, you know that I am pro coffee date, pro quick drink, pro walk in the park because I don't know if I'm gonna like you. You don't know if you're gonna like me, and I'm not trying to awkwardly sit through a five course meal, with somebody who I don't wanna entertain any longer. But, again, conversation for another time.
So being able to, have more options or flexibility of doing something something in the daytime. Also, though, you what I was getting at earlier was around, my alarm going off to pick up the kids. So, like, you're also scheduling around for some people the need to go pick up the kids or be at the bus stop or be home for the kids. So I recommend putting something in your calendar that kinda blocks that block out so that whatever you're doing, you know there's a stop point. And, again, if you're me, then you're setting an alarm that reminds you each day. Also, you wanna be thinking about childcare options and how those may shift for you. Maybe during the summer, kids were in all day camp or maybe they were in daycare or maybe you had arrangements with friends or family members to watch them, at certain times during the summer. So now you're thinking about, is my child in an after school program? When does that program end? So does that give me extended time in the in the afternoon hours to do things, to go on dates, or to do a date earlier in the day and work later in the day. But you're factoring these things in and trying to plan for this.
You're also thinking about things like play dates. Can those serve also as child care as well? Like, if you're setting up play dates with different parents and you know that on Wednesday, they're gonna be at so and so's house or or this parent is, you know, taking the kids to the playground or something like that. How can you plan around that? And this goes into that, whole idea of building your social network and your social supports and having mom friends, which I'm excited to talk about because I have updates on that. I think the second episode of this podcast was about mom friends that I met in my new town. I have updates on on the mom friend situation, and I have some future conversations coming up with moms in my life that I am thinking of titling mom moments. And what I would like it to be manifesting is a monthly series in which I one of the episodes each month one of the episodes of this podcast each month is a conversation with one of my mom friends.
So that's loading. But with the play dates, if you're forming a network of mom friends or just connecting with some parents in your child's classes, classes, you can have that as an option and a support. And it's great when you meet some other single moms where you guys can, like, you know, you know, be really reciprocal in caring for watching and watching the kids while the other mom, you know, does go on a date. And that becomes, like, this wonderfully mutually supportive, dating, network or dating support. There's also the idea of extracurricular activities, which tend to start back up in the fall. Like, I just registered my my son for, soccer and for swim lessons.
So thinking about other things there that are drop off type things where you can also utilize that, you know, for a quick coffee date or something like that. And there are plenty of things that are not drop off as well. But all I'm saying is you're wanting to really be thinking about planning, strategizing, seeing what you can move here and there. Also, again, other parent who, their kids are in the same activity. So might they might bring your kid. You might bring their kid. Switching off in that way. Again, building that social network is very helpful in support and always, but also in dating, it can be. So think about that as you're going into the new school year.
Are there connections that you can and want to make with other parents, that can help build that support net support network for you and your kids? There's also going into, like, fall wardrobe, hair, makeup, fragrances. The other thing about doing this visually is that, like, I have notes, and you can see me looking up at my notes when when it's just audio. You don't see all that. But, anyway so, I think for me, because I am a warm weather summer loving girl, sometimes I can get a little down at the change of weather, getting colder and stuff like that. But one of the things that gets me excited about going into fall is the wardrobe change because I like clothes, fashion, stuff like that. So you wanna be thinking about, your fall wardrobe for dates. Going back a ways, back in my YouTube days, I had a video. And, again, if I'm doing really well, I'll link this in the show notes. But I had a video about being date ready.
And, my concept of having, like, five outfits that you can put on rotate so that you can go on date after date after date. You don't have to think too hard about it. You don't have to have reason to say, oh, no. I can't go any of that. Five outfits that you really like because most dates or I would say a lot of the dates, let's say, don't end up being second dates. You're not at risk of the person seeing you in the thing again. Whatever. Have those five go tos that are easy that you love, that you like, and you know you can just rotate them. So now you would have had this for the summer, you know, if you're doing what you're supposed to be doing.
And so now you need to set this up for the fall. Look at the the outfits, the pants, the jeans, the dresses, the skirts that you wanna have going to the fall, the tops, all of that. So what I'm saying is you're doing this in advance. You're picking out five outfits that you're gonna put on rotation or you're identifying what's missing from your closet that you would like to bring into your closet so you can go shopping for these things. You can do the same with hair, makeup, fragrances. I also I've been getting into fragrances more and finding my signature key scents. And so I got heavy into it, like, for the summer, and I had my key summer scents. And now I'm looking at what are the fall scents that I want to lean into. So I'm kind of getting that altogether. I would suggest you do the same thing for your dating life. Have your couple of fragrances that you know are go tos for you.
With hair, for me, I do a lot of braids in the summer when I know I'm gonna be traveling or be in water so that I don't have to tend to my hair. I will go more natural during the fall, at least for periods of the time where I know I'm not going in water, and, may not be traveling as much. So, there there's kind of a natural hair shift that happens for me, but maybe you want to be intentional about that hair shift. Maybe there's a new haircut that you want to do or a new hairstyle you want to do as you go into the fall. So think about these things. For me, makeup is less of a thing. I don't wear makeup often at all. So but if you're a makeup girly, you might have certain shades that you wanna switch to.
If you when it comes to tannings, like, I definitely get darker in the summer, with all the sun exposure, and that can impact my foundation. So I do when I do put on makeup, I do recognize that I have two different foundations, my summer foundation versus my winter foundation because my skin color changes so significantly that I'd need to switch. So you're thinking about that. Do you need to be getting a new foundation because your summer shade was darker than your fall and winter shade will be. Or are there certain looks that you want to do or certain colors that you want to use? What I'm saying here is let's plan for it. Let's be ready. Let's be ready to say yes to the dates that are happening in the fall. Okay? Let's be ready to already know our wardrobe, know how we wanna do our hair, have a a quick go to makeup, plan, know the fragrances we want to wear. Okay?
Also, what I suggest doing is prioritizing activities and experiences that you want to have during this time. Like, being like, hey. By the time the fall is over, by the time we go into winter, I would like to I would have liked to go go to a couple of festivals, do some sort of picking, apple picking, pumpkin pumpkin picking, maybe have a certain Halloween experience, a corn maze or a haunted house. But by doing that, one, you're just working on living your best life and enjoying yourself. But two, you have great date ideas. And when somebody invites you out to a date, you can be like, oh, yeah. Like, I'd love to do this haunted house, or I'd love to go to this festival. Already have some ideas of things you want to be doing just because you wanna enjoy yourself. And when somebody else invites you and they wanna join you too, you have some ideas. Right? And then by the end of the fall, you can look back and say, I had some fun.
Regardless of how many dates you had or didn't have because you were doing those things anyway because you enjoyed them or wanted to try them. But also, even better, yes, if you also met some great dates in the process as well. Right? You know, I'm always talking about painting the vision of the thing you want, your ideal partner, your ideal life, your ideal parenting situation, your ideal date, all of these different things. So my phone is going off. Great. Look at me being unprepared. So, you want to think in advance and, like, yeah, are there concerts coming up that I wanna see? Are there local are there, you know, local bars that I want to go to because they're gonna do live music. Think in advance and look at so September, October, November.
What am I pulling up putting on my calendar? One thing I love to do is print out, like, paper, monthly paper calendars. I have mine right here right now where, like, I can write out ideas of stuff. So, like, hey. Two Saturdays out of the month, I wanna go do something. I wanna do a solo date, and I wanna do a friend's, gathering or going out with friends or put it on the calendar. Dream it up. Manifest it. Write about it. And then when those opportunities come up, you also can say, yeah. I wanna do this. I wanna do that. That was one of my favorite things about dating was I had ideas of things I wanted to do. And when someone would ask me if I had any ideas, I was like, yeah, man. Actually, it's wonderful.
And I would say probably lastly is a thought of, like, self evolution. That's an ongoing constant life thing. And as we are evolving, we are able to be you know, we are becoming the best versions of ourselves for ourselves, for our kids, and for any future partner, dating partner or, committed relationship partner, friends, being an employee, any of these things. So what I'm getting at is thinking about what are things that you've identified about yourself or your circumstances or your behavior that maybe you'd like to make some shifts to. Identifying what those things are so you can be proactive about about them. Are Are you wanting to get on your fitness game? Are you wanting to get on your skin care routine? Are you wanting to spend more time with the kids or spend time with them in a certain way? Are you wanting to help them work on certain skills? So even though I'm not dating anymore, I absolutely am in this place right now thinking, okay. How do I want the fall to go? One of the things that's coming up for me a lot are what are the skills that I want my kids to be gaining and learning?
My youngest son, we're working on him just buckling his seat belt fully independently. We're working on him getting shirts on easily independently. These are, like, two little goals that I've identified that I want for him. My older son, I want him to be a strong swimmer. He can swim, but I want him to be a strong swimmer. So I got you know, I'm rolling him in. I'm enrolling him in swim lessons. I have my bonus sons, my two sons, that, Josh's sons that were thinking about, okay, what are the skills we're wanting them to pick up and to learn. Around the house, over the summer, I did kind of a housekeeping camp, which was really just one or two days in which I walked around and showed the boys the different responsibilities that we want them to have, and I showed them how to do them. They all already have some chores, but I show them, hey. This is how you clean up a mess after yourself. This is how many paper towel pieces to use or not use. Here's a mess that requires more of a big towel rather than a paper towel. Here's how we scoop something up, like, practicing these skills that at some point we expect them to have, but oftentimes we realize we have not actually shown them, modeled them, taught them. And a lot of these things take practice.
So, in the fall, I'm having thoughts about, like, we're going into a new school year. They're all older. They're in an a a a new grade. What would I like to see them come out of this school year having, accomplished or mastered or having made progress toward? Right? So that's where I am with when I think of, like, evolution. So I know I started with self evolution, and I went on to talk about them. But also for myself, for me, I'm getting back into my fitness game, in this 39 year old body that's been doing things that I'm not used to. And what else? I'm getting, more and more and more honed in and serious about building my coaching business than I ever have before.
Showing up on this podcast consistently and in this way as part of that. So I definitely have these things that I'm thinking about. We're wedding planning. We're we're getting married in, Riviera Maya, Mexico in April 2026. And so I'm thinking about what do I want that to look like. So all of these things, self evolution, that's always happening, and it's very helpful when it's happening deliberately, when you're identifying things that you would like to change and shift. Because in the dating world, in your dating experience, that's only gonna benefit you. Right? You're gonna be showing up as your best self, your most confident self, your most worked on version of yourself. Also, what that that can do is it might change some of your expectations of dating partners, raise some of your standards, lower some of your standards if they need to be. Like, what I'm saying is though, you're you're able to start calibrating what you're looking for in a partner and what you need from a partner. So these were just some of my thoughts on preparing to date in the fall. You want to be thinking about the fact that the kids are at school during the daytime. You wanna be thinking about pickup and drop off or having to be available to them to get off the bus. You wanna be thinking about childcare options, after school programs, play dates, extracurricular activities, which also brings up forming your social network and your social support with other mom, friends, or other parents.
You wanna be thinking about your wardrobe, hair, makeup, fragrances, things that are about you when you show up in spaces and you show up on dates. You want to think about your prioritized activities. What do you want to experience in the next few months? Festivals, concerts, you name it. But identify those things for yourself and give them to yourself and also offer them as options for dates. And then lastly, self evolution. What are some things that you wanna work on or be changing or shifting about yourself, your circumstances, your behavior? Take it from there. Talk to you guys soon.
Welcome back to the Bitter to Better podcast. There's a lot going on in this episode. For instance, as you can see, you can see me. We are trying out some new things here because all the girlies are putting their podcasts on the YouTubes, so here we go. I'm in my home office, better known as the Shimmer Shack. There are crickets outside my window. Maybe you'll be able to hear them, maybe you won't. Josh is upstairs on a work meeting, and I can hear him, though my door is closed, so it's a little better now. But also due to the wonders of editing, you might not hear any of this by the time this is all edited and put together.
And also what comes with video is, like, my hair needing to be a little bit on point. You being able to see this pimple that has decided to pop up on my head, hormonal acne. So we're getting what we're getting. As you know, if you've listened to the last few sporadic episodes of the podcast, I'm doing more of this just press recording go because the earlier days of the podcast, I really was doing this. I need to be in a perfectly quiet space. Everything has to be prepared, little more scripted because I'm trying to get advice and guidance out there that's helpful and not waste people's time. I still don't wanna waste people's time, and I still wanna give guidance and advice that's helpful, but it's also gonna have to be a little more on my, like, busy mom life terms. So here we are. But I think that appeals to my audience, which is moms who are dating, because that's the other thing. We're doing a bit of a a slight rebranding around here with coach Tracy.
That's the brand, where my my work is always for women who are dating, but I really wanna niche in on mothers who are dating and looking to partner and be in in relationships. People who have gone through or are going through a breakup, especially who have kids because it adds just different layers to this whole thing. That being said, it does not mean that if you don't have children that my advice can't be helpful, because it absolutely is. I don't know. 90% of it, 80% of it just applies to women. I always say, like, 75% of it applies to men and women. Like, a lot of it is just basic things to do and not do in order to have more effective, enjoyable, and efficient. That's the word.
Really, no empowered. Empowered, effective, and enjoyable dating. Things to do and not do. Anyway, now that I'm done with that spiel, welcome to the Bitter to Better podcast. There will be a visual component to it now, at least most of the times if I'm not looking straight up wild. So, here we are. And today's episode is about preparing to date in the fall or in mom speak during back to school time. The kids are back in school or about to be depending on what part of the country you live in. I am in Connecticut, and, kids went back to school this week. We do the back to school before Labor Day thing. I know New York does after Labor Day. From my calculation, they're, like, the last or some of the last to go back to school because they're also some of the last to get out of school because they begin out of school the June around my birthday, which I was never about.
But, anyway, here we are. I digress. So I just want to talk about preparing for dating in the fall, and I would like to do this seasonally. So I would like to also I'm planning, like, preparing for dating in the winter, preparing for dating in spring, preparing for dating in the summer, my favorite dating season. Anyway, so for the fall, as a mother preparing to date, what are things to think about? What are things to do? My first thought is around the fact that the kids are going back to school. Right? So there are things to think about in terms of, on one hand, during the day, your kids are in school. So if you are someone who works from home or, has, you know, a part time schedule with work or something like that, you do have more flexibility or freedom during the day, during the daytime hours with the kids being in school. But, also, what you need to prepare for are things like school drop off or pick up if you transport your kids, or being at the bus stop if you need to be at the bus stop to get them off the bus.
So you're going to be factoring in these things in your dating life and dating world. So I think of it as, like, for me, I have my calendar, and I have an alarm alarm that goes off every day to remind me to pick my kids up from school. Because 99% of the time, I'll remember that, but I get honed in on some stuff. And for me, my mind is constantly like, you have until this time to get stuff done before these kids come home and wreck it all. Wreck it wrecking it all meaning the house itself, your mental stability, your focus, all of these sort of things. Right? So I try to get all my stuff done before for me about 02:30.
That's when I start getting myself prepped to to pick them up. And so what that means for me is sometimes I can get really into what I'm doing around that time, and I wanna make sure I have an alarm that, like, snaps snaps me out of it and has me go get my kids. And for example, right now as we speak, I'm recording this podcast and hoping to record one or two other episodes and just batch the episodes. I'm doing that right now at 12:50PM on a Thursday so that I can, tend to the kids or do tasks that don't require me showing up in a coherent manner. Because once these kids get here, it's all over. Okay? And so here we are. So one of the things you wanna think about is during the day, if I am someone who's at home during the day, I do have more of those daytime hours. So because the kids are at school. So I remember when I was dating and the kids were in school, I would aim to, schedule daytime dates when I could, which is great for coffee or, like, a brunch type thing.
It would, you know, free up my time for the evenings when the kids are around. And I have to cook dinner, and I wanna spend time with them, or I might have evening work sessions, things like that. So just keep thinking about how you can tailor, dating life to daytime hours when possible. If If you're someone who's working during the day, especially out of the home, maybe you do a lunch hour and you literally just have a a quick coffee, things like that, which also let me digress just for a second because the current discourse on the social medias is this whole thing about accepting coffee dates and not not accepting coffee dates. I definitely think this deserves a bigger episode. And I understand the points on both sides of why people would be okay with the first date as a coffee date and and why people wouldn't be. A lot of it has to do with mindset. But if you've been in this camp for a while, you know that I am pro coffee date, pro quick drink, pro walk in the park because I don't know if I'm gonna like you. You don't know if you're gonna like me, and I'm not trying to awkwardly sit through a five course meal, with somebody who I don't wanna entertain any longer. But, again, conversation for another time.
So being able to, have more options or flexibility of doing something something in the daytime. Also, though, you what I was getting at earlier was around, my alarm going off to pick up the kids. So, like, you're also scheduling around for some people the need to go pick up the kids or be at the bus stop or be home for the kids. So I recommend putting something in your calendar that kinda blocks that block out so that whatever you're doing, you know there's a stop point. And, again, if you're me, then you're setting an alarm that reminds you each day. Also, you wanna be thinking about childcare options and how those may shift for you. Maybe during the summer, kids were in all day camp or maybe they were in daycare or maybe you had arrangements with friends or family members to watch them, at certain times during the summer. So now you're thinking about, is my child in an after school program? When does that program end? So does that give me extended time in the in the afternoon hours to do things, to go on dates, or to do a date earlier in the day and work later in the day. But you're factoring these things in and trying to plan for this.
You're also thinking about things like play dates. Can those serve also as child care as well? Like, if you're setting up play dates with different parents and you know that on Wednesday, they're gonna be at so and so's house or or this parent is, you know, taking the kids to the playground or something like that. How can you plan around that? And this goes into that, whole idea of building your social network and your social supports and having mom friends, which I'm excited to talk about because I have updates on that. I think the second episode of this podcast was about mom friends that I met in my new town. I have updates on on the mom friend situation, and I have some future conversations coming up with moms in my life that I am thinking of titling mom moments. And what I would like it to be manifesting is a monthly series in which I one of the episodes each month one of the episodes of this podcast each month is a conversation with one of my mom friends.
So that's loading. But with the play dates, if you're forming a network of mom friends or just connecting with some parents in your child's classes, classes, you can have that as an option and a support. And it's great when you meet some other single moms where you guys can, like, you know, you know, be really reciprocal in caring for watching and watching the kids while the other mom, you know, does go on a date. And that becomes, like, this wonderfully mutually supportive, dating, network or dating support. There's also the idea of extracurricular activities, which tend to start back up in the fall. Like, I just registered my my son for, soccer and for swim lessons.
So thinking about other things there that are drop off type things where you can also utilize that, you know, for a quick coffee date or something like that. And there are plenty of things that are not drop off as well. But all I'm saying is you're wanting to really be thinking about planning, strategizing, seeing what you can move here and there. Also, again, other parent who, their kids are in the same activity. So might they might bring your kid. You might bring their kid. Switching off in that way. Again, building that social network is very helpful in support and always, but also in dating, it can be. So think about that as you're going into the new school year.
Are there connections that you can and want to make with other parents, that can help build that support net support network for you and your kids? There's also going into, like, fall wardrobe, hair, makeup, fragrances. The other thing about doing this visually is that, like, I have notes, and you can see me looking up at my notes when when it's just audio. You don't see all that. But, anyway so, I think for me, because I am a warm weather summer loving girl, sometimes I can get a little down at the change of weather, getting colder and stuff like that. But one of the things that gets me excited about going into fall is the wardrobe change because I like clothes, fashion, stuff like that. So you wanna be thinking about, your fall wardrobe for dates. Going back a ways, back in my YouTube days, I had a video. And, again, if I'm doing really well, I'll link this in the show notes. But I had a video about being date ready.
And, my concept of having, like, five outfits that you can put on rotate so that you can go on date after date after date. You don't have to think too hard about it. You don't have to have reason to say, oh, no. I can't go any of that. Five outfits that you really like because most dates or I would say a lot of the dates, let's say, don't end up being second dates. You're not at risk of the person seeing you in the thing again. Whatever. Have those five go tos that are easy that you love, that you like, and you know you can just rotate them. So now you would have had this for the summer, you know, if you're doing what you're supposed to be doing.
And so now you need to set this up for the fall. Look at the the outfits, the pants, the jeans, the dresses, the skirts that you wanna have going to the fall, the tops, all of that. So what I'm saying is you're doing this in advance. You're picking out five outfits that you're gonna put on rotation or you're identifying what's missing from your closet that you would like to bring into your closet so you can go shopping for these things. You can do the same with hair, makeup, fragrances. I also I've been getting into fragrances more and finding my signature key scents. And so I got heavy into it, like, for the summer, and I had my key summer scents. And now I'm looking at what are the fall scents that I want to lean into. So I'm kind of getting that altogether. I would suggest you do the same thing for your dating life. Have your couple of fragrances that you know are go tos for you.
With hair, for me, I do a lot of braids in the summer when I know I'm gonna be traveling or be in water so that I don't have to tend to my hair. I will go more natural during the fall, at least for periods of the time where I know I'm not going in water, and, may not be traveling as much. So, there there's kind of a natural hair shift that happens for me, but maybe you want to be intentional about that hair shift. Maybe there's a new haircut that you want to do or a new hairstyle you want to do as you go into the fall. So think about these things. For me, makeup is less of a thing. I don't wear makeup often at all. So but if you're a makeup girly, you might have certain shades that you wanna switch to.
If you when it comes to tannings, like, I definitely get darker in the summer, with all the sun exposure, and that can impact my foundation. So I do when I do put on makeup, I do recognize that I have two different foundations, my summer foundation versus my winter foundation because my skin color changes so significantly that I'd need to switch. So you're thinking about that. Do you need to be getting a new foundation because your summer shade was darker than your fall and winter shade will be. Or are there certain looks that you want to do or certain colors that you want to use? What I'm saying here is let's plan for it. Let's be ready. Let's be ready to say yes to the dates that are happening in the fall. Okay? Let's be ready to already know our wardrobe, know how we wanna do our hair, have a a quick go to makeup, plan, know the fragrances we want to wear. Okay?
Also, what I suggest doing is prioritizing activities and experiences that you want to have during this time. Like, being like, hey. By the time the fall is over, by the time we go into winter, I would like to I would have liked to go go to a couple of festivals, do some sort of picking, apple picking, pumpkin pumpkin picking, maybe have a certain Halloween experience, a corn maze or a haunted house. But by doing that, one, you're just working on living your best life and enjoying yourself. But two, you have great date ideas. And when somebody invites you out to a date, you can be like, oh, yeah. Like, I'd love to do this haunted house, or I'd love to go to this festival. Already have some ideas of things you want to be doing just because you wanna enjoy yourself. And when somebody else invites you and they wanna join you too, you have some ideas. Right? And then by the end of the fall, you can look back and say, I had some fun.
Regardless of how many dates you had or didn't have because you were doing those things anyway because you enjoyed them or wanted to try them. But also, even better, yes, if you also met some great dates in the process as well. Right? You know, I'm always talking about painting the vision of the thing you want, your ideal partner, your ideal life, your ideal parenting situation, your ideal date, all of these different things. So my phone is going off. Great. Look at me being unprepared. So, you want to think in advance and, like, yeah, are there concerts coming up that I wanna see? Are there local are there, you know, local bars that I want to go to because they're gonna do live music. Think in advance and look at so September, October, November.
What am I pulling up putting on my calendar? One thing I love to do is print out, like, paper, monthly paper calendars. I have mine right here right now where, like, I can write out ideas of stuff. So, like, hey. Two Saturdays out of the month, I wanna go do something. I wanna do a solo date, and I wanna do a friend's, gathering or going out with friends or put it on the calendar. Dream it up. Manifest it. Write about it. And then when those opportunities come up, you also can say, yeah. I wanna do this. I wanna do that. That was one of my favorite things about dating was I had ideas of things I wanted to do. And when someone would ask me if I had any ideas, I was like, yeah, man. Actually, it's wonderful.
And I would say probably lastly is a thought of, like, self evolution. That's an ongoing constant life thing. And as we are evolving, we are able to be you know, we are becoming the best versions of ourselves for ourselves, for our kids, and for any future partner, dating partner or, committed relationship partner, friends, being an employee, any of these things. So what I'm getting at is thinking about what are things that you've identified about yourself or your circumstances or your behavior that maybe you'd like to make some shifts to. Identifying what those things are so you can be proactive about about them. Are Are you wanting to get on your fitness game? Are you wanting to get on your skin care routine? Are you wanting to spend more time with the kids or spend time with them in a certain way? Are you wanting to help them work on certain skills? So even though I'm not dating anymore, I absolutely am in this place right now thinking, okay. How do I want the fall to go? One of the things that's coming up for me a lot are what are the skills that I want my kids to be gaining and learning?
My youngest son, we're working on him just buckling his seat belt fully independently. We're working on him getting shirts on easily independently. These are, like, two little goals that I've identified that I want for him. My older son, I want him to be a strong swimmer. He can swim, but I want him to be a strong swimmer. So I got you know, I'm rolling him in. I'm enrolling him in swim lessons. I have my bonus sons, my two sons, that, Josh's sons that were thinking about, okay, what are the skills we're wanting them to pick up and to learn. Around the house, over the summer, I did kind of a housekeeping camp, which was really just one or two days in which I walked around and showed the boys the different responsibilities that we want them to have, and I showed them how to do them. They all already have some chores, but I show them, hey. This is how you clean up a mess after yourself. This is how many paper towel pieces to use or not use. Here's a mess that requires more of a big towel rather than a paper towel. Here's how we scoop something up, like, practicing these skills that at some point we expect them to have, but oftentimes we realize we have not actually shown them, modeled them, taught them. And a lot of these things take practice.
So, in the fall, I'm having thoughts about, like, we're going into a new school year. They're all older. They're in an a a a new grade. What would I like to see them come out of this school year having, accomplished or mastered or having made progress toward? Right? So that's where I am with when I think of, like, evolution. So I know I started with self evolution, and I went on to talk about them. But also for myself, for me, I'm getting back into my fitness game, in this 39 year old body that's been doing things that I'm not used to. And what else? I'm getting, more and more and more honed in and serious about building my coaching business than I ever have before.
Showing up on this podcast consistently and in this way as part of that. So I definitely have these things that I'm thinking about. We're wedding planning. We're we're getting married in, Riviera Maya, Mexico in April 2026. And so I'm thinking about what do I want that to look like. So all of these things, self evolution, that's always happening, and it's very helpful when it's happening deliberately, when you're identifying things that you would like to change and shift. Because in the dating world, in your dating experience, that's only gonna benefit you. Right? You're gonna be showing up as your best self, your most confident self, your most worked on version of yourself. Also, what that that can do is it might change some of your expectations of dating partners, raise some of your standards, lower some of your standards if they need to be. Like, what I'm saying is though, you're you're able to start calibrating what you're looking for in a partner and what you need from a partner. So these were just some of my thoughts on preparing to date in the fall. You want to be thinking about the fact that the kids are at school during the daytime. You wanna be thinking about pickup and drop off or having to be available to them to get off the bus. You wanna be thinking about childcare options, after school programs, play dates, extracurricular activities, which also brings up forming your social network and your social support with other mom, friends, or other parents.
You wanna be thinking about your wardrobe, hair, makeup, fragrances, things that are about you when you show up in spaces and you show up on dates. You want to think about your prioritized activities. What do you want to experience in the next few months? Festivals, concerts, you name it. But identify those things for yourself and give them to yourself and also offer them as options for dates. And then lastly, self evolution. What are some things that you wanna work on or be changing or shifting about yourself, your circumstances, your behavior? Take it from there. Talk to you guys soon.
