It's dating season! aka spring/summer and my favorite time to date because it's sunny and warm and easier to get outside to mingle. So take advantage of it!
FYI: In this episode I mention the fact that the episode is being released on 5/1 and this is because this episode was originally scheduled for release on that day but I moved the release date to 4/24 thanks to the people (my Instagram followers) making their voices heard and voting to hear it sooner.
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[00:00:06]
Unknown:
Hey, I'm Tracy Pinnock and welcome to the Bitter to Better podcast, where I talk all things love and life that help women live better after breakups. I'm glad you're here and let's get into it.
[00:00:26] Unknown:
Welcome. Welcome. Today's episode is about dating season, and I believe this episode will be released on May 1, which I consider to be the first official day of dating season. I have have coined the term dating season and have deemed it to be from May to September. This is a time where in the Northeastern United States, it's spring and summer and it's getting warmer and it's feeling good and it's easier to casually hang out with people and go out and do things, and most people are more motivated to go outside. I know I'm one of them. So I really like this time for dating, for getting out there, meeting new people, having new fun experiences, eating good food, having great conversation.
So I just wanted to talk in this episode about things to know about dating season and how to make the most of it. So let's see. If you go to my YouTube channel, I have a video specifically about dating season, and I also have other videos that are about, preparing for dates and making the most of dates. So there's a dating playlist on my YouTube channel. You can just type in my name, Tracy, t r a c I e, Pinock, p I n n o c k, and you can find it. So What are the things to know when it comes to dating season? Pretty much, I just want to talk about how to make the most of this time, and to enjoy dating as much as possible, and this just happens to be the prime time of the year to do that, in my opinion.
So let's start with knowing your dating goals. Know if you're looking for marriage, commitment, casual flings, just new fun adventures, stuff like that. We're gonna go for my purposes with this idea of, someone who wants to eventually find commitment, but they are being very mindful about actually dating. So here's the thing about actually dating. So many times, we just fall into relationships. We meet someone, we like them, we like spending time with them, so we spend more time with them, and then our lives start to get more and more intertwined with them. Whether we're moving in together, whether it's we're, you know, going, introducing them to friends and family, whether it's starting to have more financial, commitments with one another, people have kids, all of these different things that intertwine our lives more and more together.
And so we end up in these committed situations without having done the proper type and amount of vetting of one another to really determine if we are are a good long term fit. So my first thing is casually date. Casually date. And I'll explain what I mean by that in a moment, but dating season is a prime time to casually date because you can just go out in the sun and have some fun. So casually dating is when you are date you are dating more than one person as opposed to exclusively dating. I talk about relationship categories, and I will do a later episode on this, but there's already a video of this on my YouTube channel. With casually dating, it's just that where it's like you're going out with different people in order to see what you like and don't like, get a feel for people, have some comparisons of people. So you might go to the movies with this person and dinner with this person and things like that. And I talk a lot about this casual dating or what's called rotational dating or dating like a man because men do this frequently.
Women really seem to struggle with this. And there are a number of reasons, but I'm here to say you need to do it. This is not you carrying on multiple committed relationships. That's not what I'm suggesting. That is a completely fair thing to do if everybody involved is aware of it and everybody's on the same page, but that's not what I'm saying here. Casual dating is not that. Casual dating is literally casual relationships with people in which you're getting to know them. You're vetting them. You're romantically interviewing them to see if any of them would be a good exclusive dating partner.
So the way this would typically work, you're dating three people, four people, five people, whatever. You're meeting people on the apps. You're in person. You're going on speed dates. You're doing whatever your thing is of how you're meeting people. You're being introduced through friends, whatever. And you're like, yeah. I'm gonna go on a date with you and I'm gonna date with you. And as you're dating these people and getting to know them, talking to them, you're starting to hone in on who you like most and who fits with you best. And so then you would hone it down to exclusively dating one person. Now the process of doing that involves conversations, like, you, you know, let people know I'm casually dating so I'm, you know, dating multiple people so that I can get to find someone who I'd want to exclusively date. So, obviously, if you're dating multiple people and you start to realize there's one person who you like more and you would like to exclusively date, you would then need to have a conversation with them so that there is clear understanding that you are both on the same page, that you don't do this whole, like, making making an assumption that you guys are exclusive and it turns out that they, are not or any of that. So that's a whole process in and of itself in terms of the conversations you have to move from casually dating to exclusively dating. But for our purposes today, I am saying you need to casually date, and dating season is a good time to do that.
And so with knowing your dating goals, you let's say you do know that you eventually want to exclusively date someone and get into a committed, relationship, then you do want to have a good pool of people to casually date so that you can be making the most informed decisions as to who you choose to eventually exclusively date and then possibly enter a committed relationship with.
[00:06:22] Unknown:
Do you like what you're hearing? Are you picking up what I'm putting down? Want to help the pod? If so, please know it's greatly appreciated and I welcome you to support the Bitter to Better podcast however you can. Might I suggest a few options? First, please rate and review the show on Spotify, Apple podcast, or whatever platform you choose. Next, how about sending this podcast to platform you choose. Next, how about sending this podcast to one friend who you know could use it? This way, she can't say you've never given her anything. If you're really riding with me, talk about the show on social media and tag me. I'm at tracy panach on Instagram.
And lastly, if you ever use any products or services I mentioned in the pod, can you tell them Tracey Panach from the Bitter to Better podcast sent you? Please and thank you.
[00:07:15] Unknown:
Next, it's really, really important to know the makeup of your ideal partner. So there's this exercise that I like to do with people called the ideal partner list, and this is where you list all the traits and characteristics that would make up your ideal partner. I like to use the prompt, imagine you have a magic wand and you wave that wand and the ideal person for you appeared, what would be that person's physical traits, personality characteristics, and life circumstances? And just list them and list them. And there's more to the process that I like to go into, which I'll do in another episode. But you need to know who you're looking for. Don't go out there all willy nilly just bouncing around. Like, have a clear understanding of the preferences you have in an ideal partner so that you can be using that list and having it in the back of your mind as you're meeting people and engaging with them, and you can see who's checking off what box is. Because if any given partner is not checking off enough of the important boxes, it is indication to you that you need to direct your time and energy elsewhere. Don't keep going with something that really doesn't make sense based on the characteristics and traits you've identified are a part of your ideal partner.
It's important to pay attention to this list. I cannot stress it enough. It is something that I don't have any lady go out in the dating world without. It's a very important document to get in order. So know your ideal partner. But moving on to the next piece of this, know your platforms and methods for dating. So identify if you want to do online dating, if, what websites and apps you want to use, if you're being deliberate about getting out to meet people and, you know, meet people in person or, you know, just being social so that you can, get, you know, introduced to people and things like that. So know what methods you want to use so you can start using them. Start signing up for the apps and and finding out which ones you even want to, use and which ones appeal to you most. So already, you know, get prepared for dating season by being really deliberate about looking at what methods you want to use to meet people.
My last little tidbit here is to know where you want to go, know what you want to do in your dating experience. So, like, get a list together of restaurants you've been wanting to try and activities you want to do so that when you are going on dates, you have places in mind whether whether it's because your date asks you where you'd like to go or because you'd like to suggest some places, things like that. So make the most of of this dating season and go where you wanna go. Scope places out. I love the idea of taking pressure off of dating and letting it be something that you do out of enjoyment and that you, kind of think of it as I'll meet a new person, maybe have some good conversation, have some good food, have and enjoy fun activity.
That's the way you should think of every date you go on. Otherwise, it is very easy to put way too much pressure on the dating process and to, you know, try to make this one be the one or if this doesn't go a certain way, it's a failure. No. I have found so many good restaurants and some of my favorite restaurants because of dates. So, I mean, use that to your advantage. I've tried new things because of dates. So go on dates from this perspective of new experiences, new people, good conversation, good food. Alright. That's all I got for today on dating season. I just strongly encourage you to take advantage of it. Get out there and date people, have a good time, take the pressure off of it, and enjoy.
[00:11:17] Unknown:
Hey. By the way, I can be found in other places besides this podcast. Just search my name on YouTube and you'll find my channel. Subscribe for periodic how to videos for dealing with breakups and mastering dating. That's right. I said mastering dating. It's a skill, ladies. I can also be found on Instagram at tracy panach. And lastly, I most encourage you to join my email list where you get breakup and dating support delivered to your inbox in addition to getting the most exclusive access to my programs and coaching services. My email list subscribers are the first to know when my coaching programs launch and the only people to get discounts when they're offered. As always, I'm glad we got into it and looking forward to next time.
Hey, I'm Tracy Pinnock and welcome to the Bitter to Better podcast, where I talk all things love and life that help women live better after breakups. I'm glad you're here and let's get into it.
[00:00:26] Unknown:
Welcome. Welcome. Today's episode is about dating season, and I believe this episode will be released on May 1, which I consider to be the first official day of dating season. I have have coined the term dating season and have deemed it to be from May to September. This is a time where in the Northeastern United States, it's spring and summer and it's getting warmer and it's feeling good and it's easier to casually hang out with people and go out and do things, and most people are more motivated to go outside. I know I'm one of them. So I really like this time for dating, for getting out there, meeting new people, having new fun experiences, eating good food, having great conversation.
So I just wanted to talk in this episode about things to know about dating season and how to make the most of it. So let's see. If you go to my YouTube channel, I have a video specifically about dating season, and I also have other videos that are about, preparing for dates and making the most of dates. So there's a dating playlist on my YouTube channel. You can just type in my name, Tracy, t r a c I e, Pinock, p I n n o c k, and you can find it. So What are the things to know when it comes to dating season? Pretty much, I just want to talk about how to make the most of this time, and to enjoy dating as much as possible, and this just happens to be the prime time of the year to do that, in my opinion.
So let's start with knowing your dating goals. Know if you're looking for marriage, commitment, casual flings, just new fun adventures, stuff like that. We're gonna go for my purposes with this idea of, someone who wants to eventually find commitment, but they are being very mindful about actually dating. So here's the thing about actually dating. So many times, we just fall into relationships. We meet someone, we like them, we like spending time with them, so we spend more time with them, and then our lives start to get more and more intertwined with them. Whether we're moving in together, whether it's we're, you know, going, introducing them to friends and family, whether it's starting to have more financial, commitments with one another, people have kids, all of these different things that intertwine our lives more and more together.
And so we end up in these committed situations without having done the proper type and amount of vetting of one another to really determine if we are are a good long term fit. So my first thing is casually date. Casually date. And I'll explain what I mean by that in a moment, but dating season is a prime time to casually date because you can just go out in the sun and have some fun. So casually dating is when you are date you are dating more than one person as opposed to exclusively dating. I talk about relationship categories, and I will do a later episode on this, but there's already a video of this on my YouTube channel. With casually dating, it's just that where it's like you're going out with different people in order to see what you like and don't like, get a feel for people, have some comparisons of people. So you might go to the movies with this person and dinner with this person and things like that. And I talk a lot about this casual dating or what's called rotational dating or dating like a man because men do this frequently.
Women really seem to struggle with this. And there are a number of reasons, but I'm here to say you need to do it. This is not you carrying on multiple committed relationships. That's not what I'm suggesting. That is a completely fair thing to do if everybody involved is aware of it and everybody's on the same page, but that's not what I'm saying here. Casual dating is not that. Casual dating is literally casual relationships with people in which you're getting to know them. You're vetting them. You're romantically interviewing them to see if any of them would be a good exclusive dating partner.
So the way this would typically work, you're dating three people, four people, five people, whatever. You're meeting people on the apps. You're in person. You're going on speed dates. You're doing whatever your thing is of how you're meeting people. You're being introduced through friends, whatever. And you're like, yeah. I'm gonna go on a date with you and I'm gonna date with you. And as you're dating these people and getting to know them, talking to them, you're starting to hone in on who you like most and who fits with you best. And so then you would hone it down to exclusively dating one person. Now the process of doing that involves conversations, like, you, you know, let people know I'm casually dating so I'm, you know, dating multiple people so that I can get to find someone who I'd want to exclusively date. So, obviously, if you're dating multiple people and you start to realize there's one person who you like more and you would like to exclusively date, you would then need to have a conversation with them so that there is clear understanding that you are both on the same page, that you don't do this whole, like, making making an assumption that you guys are exclusive and it turns out that they, are not or any of that. So that's a whole process in and of itself in terms of the conversations you have to move from casually dating to exclusively dating. But for our purposes today, I am saying you need to casually date, and dating season is a good time to do that.
And so with knowing your dating goals, you let's say you do know that you eventually want to exclusively date someone and get into a committed, relationship, then you do want to have a good pool of people to casually date so that you can be making the most informed decisions as to who you choose to eventually exclusively date and then possibly enter a committed relationship with.
[00:06:22] Unknown:
Do you like what you're hearing? Are you picking up what I'm putting down? Want to help the pod? If so, please know it's greatly appreciated and I welcome you to support the Bitter to Better podcast however you can. Might I suggest a few options? First, please rate and review the show on Spotify, Apple podcast, or whatever platform you choose. Next, how about sending this podcast to platform you choose. Next, how about sending this podcast to one friend who you know could use it? This way, she can't say you've never given her anything. If you're really riding with me, talk about the show on social media and tag me. I'm at tracy panach on Instagram.
And lastly, if you ever use any products or services I mentioned in the pod, can you tell them Tracey Panach from the Bitter to Better podcast sent you? Please and thank you.
[00:07:15] Unknown:
Next, it's really, really important to know the makeup of your ideal partner. So there's this exercise that I like to do with people called the ideal partner list, and this is where you list all the traits and characteristics that would make up your ideal partner. I like to use the prompt, imagine you have a magic wand and you wave that wand and the ideal person for you appeared, what would be that person's physical traits, personality characteristics, and life circumstances? And just list them and list them. And there's more to the process that I like to go into, which I'll do in another episode. But you need to know who you're looking for. Don't go out there all willy nilly just bouncing around. Like, have a clear understanding of the preferences you have in an ideal partner so that you can be using that list and having it in the back of your mind as you're meeting people and engaging with them, and you can see who's checking off what box is. Because if any given partner is not checking off enough of the important boxes, it is indication to you that you need to direct your time and energy elsewhere. Don't keep going with something that really doesn't make sense based on the characteristics and traits you've identified are a part of your ideal partner.
It's important to pay attention to this list. I cannot stress it enough. It is something that I don't have any lady go out in the dating world without. It's a very important document to get in order. So know your ideal partner. But moving on to the next piece of this, know your platforms and methods for dating. So identify if you want to do online dating, if, what websites and apps you want to use, if you're being deliberate about getting out to meet people and, you know, meet people in person or, you know, just being social so that you can, get, you know, introduced to people and things like that. So know what methods you want to use so you can start using them. Start signing up for the apps and and finding out which ones you even want to, use and which ones appeal to you most. So already, you know, get prepared for dating season by being really deliberate about looking at what methods you want to use to meet people.
My last little tidbit here is to know where you want to go, know what you want to do in your dating experience. So, like, get a list together of restaurants you've been wanting to try and activities you want to do so that when you are going on dates, you have places in mind whether whether it's because your date asks you where you'd like to go or because you'd like to suggest some places, things like that. So make the most of of this dating season and go where you wanna go. Scope places out. I love the idea of taking pressure off of dating and letting it be something that you do out of enjoyment and that you, kind of think of it as I'll meet a new person, maybe have some good conversation, have some good food, have and enjoy fun activity.
That's the way you should think of every date you go on. Otherwise, it is very easy to put way too much pressure on the dating process and to, you know, try to make this one be the one or if this doesn't go a certain way, it's a failure. No. I have found so many good restaurants and some of my favorite restaurants because of dates. So, I mean, use that to your advantage. I've tried new things because of dates. So go on dates from this perspective of new experiences, new people, good conversation, good food. Alright. That's all I got for today on dating season. I just strongly encourage you to take advantage of it. Get out there and date people, have a good time, take the pressure off of it, and enjoy.
[00:11:17] Unknown:
Hey. By the way, I can be found in other places besides this podcast. Just search my name on YouTube and you'll find my channel. Subscribe for periodic how to videos for dealing with breakups and mastering dating. That's right. I said mastering dating. It's a skill, ladies. I can also be found on Instagram at tracy panach. And lastly, I most encourage you to join my email list where you get breakup and dating support delivered to your inbox in addition to getting the most exclusive access to my programs and coaching services. My email list subscribers are the first to know when my coaching programs launch and the only people to get discounts when they're offered. As always, I'm glad we got into it and looking forward to next time.
