In this episode I explain the importance of following a sleep routine for good sleep hygiene and I walk you through how to create one.
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Ep. 19: Let's Create Your Morning Routine https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/TgjHM2GUqCb
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[00:00:00]
Unknown:
Hey. Just a little message before we get started. I offer one on one coaching to women for breakup recovery and dating. So if you're interested, just send me an email at [email protected]. That's [email protected]. And let me know if you're interested, and I can give you information. We can hop on a very brief call to see what your needs are either around dating and or breakup recovery, and I'm really excited to help you on your journey.
[00:00:37] Unknown:
Hey. I'm Tracy Panock, and welcome to the Bitter to Better podcast where I talk all things love and life that help women live better after breakups. I'm glad you're here, and let's get into it.
[00:00:59] Unknown:
Hey. Hey. Today, I'm talking about sleep routines or sleep hygiene, which are the routines and habits that we have around sleep just like you have bodily hygiene and oral hygiene. So when I work with people, I oftentimes assess what I call the five basic areas of self care. That's sleeping, eating, exercise, social connection, and boundary setting. So sleep is a huge one because I always say nothing is better with poor sleep. With poor sleep, everything else is worse. It's hard for you to have energy for you for you to think clearly. It impacts your mood, motivation, all of these things. So when we think about trying to have or build healthy lifestyle habits in the way we eat, the way we move, the way we connect with others, it becomes hard to do that sustainably if we are not sleeping well because we then don't have everything we need to be, to be on top of being physically active and making sure we're making good food choices and making sure we have the energy to talk to other people and, I don't know, clean our house, things like that. So today, I want to talk about sleep routines and helping you build a sleep routine.
It's something that I do with, I don't know, probably about eighty percent of the people I work with because oftentimes people find that they're not having the best sleep habits, and then that's impacting their ability to have a good morning routine. There's a past episode, and you could check the show notes of this episode to find it, but there's a past episode of the podcast about building your morning routine. And something that is very important to know is that your morning routine is impacted by what you're doing the night before. So it's important for us to talk about sleep hygiene and sleep routines. So I encourage you to get some pen and paper, a notebook, or something to type with so you can create your own sleep routine from this episode.
I like to have people get a piece of paper, label it sleep routine, and then we are going to create a sleep routine from the most ideal circumstances. Meaning, it may be something that is uncomfortable or challenging for you to do now, such as set an earlier bedtime or do shutdown time an hour before bedtime, and I'll explain all of this. But I'm going to lay it out as you want it to ideally be. And then I tell people to consistently, like, on a nightly basis for one to two weeks, try it out so that you can get data about what is and isn't helpful to you and see where you might want to make some tweaks. But get your pen and paper and write sleep routine.
Next, I want you to write bedtime, and this is where I want you to put your ideal bedtime in order to get eight hours of sleep. Meaning, you need to look at what time you need to wake up in the morning, count back eight hours, and that needs to be your bedtime. So for this example, let's say bedtime is 10PM. Under bedtime, you're going to write wake up, which for this example would be 6AM, eight hours from 10PM. And then under that, you're going to write shutdown time. That will be 9PM because, ideally, your shutdown time is an hour before your intended bedtime.
K. If you realize that an hour before bedtime is really difficult for you to do because of your schedule or something like that, then you can shorten it to a half hour before bedtime, but it's ideal to try to start with an hour. Okay. Next, I want you to write potential shutdown time activities. Potential shutdown time activities. This is where you're going to brainstorm about any and everything that you have come to find is a soothing, relaxing, calming, activity for you, and that could realistically be done before bed. So I want to be clear. This does not mean it's something that you currently do. You could have been someone who liked to paint in the past, and you've stopped doing that. This would still go on this list if you recognize that it's something that is soothing or calming to you. So we're just gonna brainstorm. So examples might be, coloring, drawing, sketching, journaling, writing poetry or writing stories, listening to podcasts, listening to books, listening to music, meditating, breath work, stretching, yoga, skin care routine, massage, stretching, if I didn't already say that.
Yeah. Any of these sort of things would go on this list if you find them calming or soothing to you even if you don't currently do them. Because what we first want to do with this potential shutdown time activities list is get as large of a bucket as possible to pull from in order to actually put together your sleep routine. So the next thing here that we're going to do is actually just write out the activities from this list that you want to try to do every night as your shutdown time routine. So remember, what we're doing here is saying, okay. For the for this example, at 9PM, I'm going into shutdown mode. So what are we not doing during shutdown time? We're not having any screen time of any sort. We're not on our phones. We're not watching TV. We're not on the Internet. We're not watching YouTube.
None of that. No screen viewage. We are trying to, you know, not have blue light going into our eyes and, therefore, our brains keeping our brains active. We're also not doing any type of stressful activity. So if there's a certain person you talk to who stresses you out, you're doing that before your shutdown time. So in this example, you're doing that before 9PM. Your work, any work you have to do, you're doing that before 9PM. Dinner and all of that will have been done. Everything, all the chores and tasks and obligations and stressful things, we're doing that before shutdown time. Okay. So now it's 9PM. You want to ask yourself, how do I want to start my shutdown time? If you're someone who takes your showers at night, then I I recommend starting shutdown time with a shower. But, honestly, some people might get home, you know, earlier in the day and immediately take their showers then, so that's fine. But if you happen to be someone who likes to shower at night, right before bed, then a good way to start your shutdown routine teen is to take your shower. Then maybe you go into your skin care routine if you're someone who has a skin care routine. And then you bring yourself into your bedroom or a calm, soothing place, and you start doing some of the other activities. So if you like to let's say, you like to read and you put that on your potential activities list, Maybe, you decide to read a couple of chapters of your book and then maybe do a ten minute meditation.
And that's it. That could be your shutdown routine time routine. At 9PM, I take my shower. I wash my face. I read my book. I do meditation, and I fall off to sleep. I can meditate in bed. I can meditate outside of bed, whatever I wanna do, and boom. There we have it. So you can put whatever you want in these, as far as, put whatever you want into your act your shutdown time routine, but they need to be calming, soothing things that are not keeping your brain super active. So just kind of keep that in mind. And then I want you to try it out every night for a good week or so just to see what happens, just to collect data, just to say, oh, it's helped me get to sleep faster, or it's helped me stay asleep throughout the night, or it's helped me feel more well rested when I wake in the morning. Because because what I usually ask people, when I assess their sleep is, are you having any significant struggles with falling asleep, staying asleep, or feeling well rested when you get enough hours of sleep? And doing a shutdown time routine can help improve your overall quality of sleep in all of these areas. K? So now let's move on to the next part of this, which is what you do if you wake in the middle of the night.
[00:08:53] Unknown:
Do you like what you're hearing? Are you picking up what I'm putting down? Want to help the pod? If so, please know it's greatly appreciated, and I welcome you to support the Bitter to Better podcast however you can. Might I suggest a few options? First, please rate and review the show on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or whatever platform you choose. Next, how about sending this podcast to one friend who you know could use it? This way, she can't say you've never given her anything. If you're really riding with me, talk about the show on social media and tag me. I'm at tracy panok on Instagram. And lastly, if you ever use any products or services I mentioned in the pod, can you tell them Tracy panok from the Bitter to Better podcast sent you?
Please and thank
[00:09:46] Unknown:
you. So let's start with expectations for waking in the middle of the night. What I mean is it's totally normal to wake in the middle of the night to get a drink of water, go to the bathroom, adjust your sleeping position, things like that. So it's not so much the waking up that's the problem. It's the ability to return back to sleep. So I usually tell people, give yourself twenty minutes to fall back asleep without doing anything besides closing your eyes. Maybe you practice some deep breathing or you might meditate a little, but pretty much give yourself twenty minutes to fall back asleep normally without an issue. If after twenty minutes you are not asleep, then I do suggest you get up and do something. And I think of this in levels or phases one, two, and three. Meaning, the first thing you might do after twenty minutes has passed and you still haven't gone back to sleep or let's start with what you won't do. You will not turn on the television. You will not pick up your phone. So let me stop for a moment actually to give a little spiel on the phone.
If you're someone who really struggles not to reach for your phone when you wake up in the middle of the night, then I suggest you not have your phone in your room or you put it far away from you where you would have to get up to get it. I also highly recommend the do not disturb function, which actually I should have said that in regards to your sleep routine before you go to bed. Set a time for your phone to automatically go into do not disturb so that, yeah, you don't get a bunch of notifications and things that tempt you to go on your phone. So mine is set for 09:00. So after 9PM, people don't hear so much from me. And if you have certain people who you need to come through, you can set that well, I'm talking as I no. No. I use the iPhone. I'm assuming that this function is available on all phones, but you can set the people whose messages and phone calls you want to come through when it's do not disturb. Obviously, being a parent and your children being with the other parent or with someone else, that might be a concern. So set those people as you need to.
But if any of those people are people who stress you out or who might be very chatty with you after your shutdown time, you can let them know that you're working on your sleep, and so you'll be less responsive after whatever time and, you know, unless it's an emergency. So that's just a side note. But what you will not do when you wake up in the middle of the night is turn on screens or start engaging in something that's highly, you know, activating, like starting to do work, get up, turn on your light, go to your computer, and start doing things. No. No screens. No computer. No phone. No TV. But what you can do, if you wake up and you realize it's related to, like, anxiety, racing thoughts, you're thinking about your to do list, or you're thinking about something that happened earlier that day and it's going around in your head, or you're nervous about work tomorrow or any of the things, or you had a nightmare, anything that, like, has you heightened, elevated, nervous, worry, anxious, then I suggest you start with a brain dump in a journal. So I do recommend keeping a notebook by your bed with something to write with, where you can write your thoughts, feelings, ideas, your to do list. Like, if you are thinking about all the things you have to do tomorrow, then put it on on paper so you can get it out of your head. And that sometimes is enough to relax us enough to be able to go back to sleep or write about the nightmare you had or just write about the random thoughts that are on your mind. It doesn't need to make sense. The idea is that you're brain dumping. It's almost like talking to someone and letting them know everything that's on your mind, but, you're putting it into a journal. So that's step one. If after you do that, you're not feeling or you're not going back to sleep, then I recommend you engage in something that you might have done in order to go to sleep. So for instance, if your sleep routine that you put together, if it included something like reading a book or listening to a podcast, then maybe that's something you then you go to do that thing. So the the idea behind this is if I'm going to be awake anyway, I can start reading a book, and I can be a few chapters into a good book, or I fall asleep within a chapter or two, which is the goal. One of those two things happens, and it's better that that I'm just awake reading a good story than if I'm just laying in bed twiddling my thumbs becoming highly frustrated.
But if after you've been reading for a while or listening to a podcast for a while or listening to music or meditating, whatever the thing is that you're doing, and you realize, okay, it's been an hour or I'm so many chapters in or I'm on my second, third podcast episode, whatever, you get up and you do something. That's the final phase of this, level three. I call it the chore challenge. You actually get up and do some sort of task in your home. Maybe it's mopping the floor, sweeping the floors, cleaning out the refrigerator, laundry, whatever.
Because the idea is if you're gonna be awake anyway, you might as well be productive with something in your house. Or it's 2AM and your brain and your body are like, psych. We're not going to get up and mop. We're actually kinda tired and we're gonna go back to sleep. So one of those two things happens. So that's kind of the level of escalation if you wake in the middle of the night and you're not back asleep within twenty minutes. You should get up and do something like you should get up and do something, and I recommend kind of going in that order, in in those phases.
Okay. That's that on the sleep routine. Just remember that whenever you are trying to form healthy life life habits, such as a morning routine, some sort of wellness routine, sleep matters a lot. So it's really important that all of us work on our sleep hygiene, which are our routines and habits around sleep, and we want to have good sleep hygiene rather than poor sleep hygiene. And so that means being very conscious about what you're doing right before going to bed and really trying to engage in soothing, relaxing activities that are going to help prepare your mind and body for rest. Alright. That's all for today. See you next week.
[00:15:38] Unknown:
Hey. By the way, I can be found in other places besides this podcast. Just search my name on YouTube, and you'll find my channel. Subscribe for periodic how to videos for dealing with breakups and mastering dating. That's right. I said mastering dating. It's a skill, ladies. I can also be found on Instagram at tracy panach. And lastly, I most encourage you to join my email list where you get breakup and dating support delivered to your inbox in addition to getting the most exclusive access to my programs and coaching services. My email list subscribers are the first to know when my coaching programs launch and the only people to get discounts when they're offered. As always, I'm glad we got into it and looking forward to next time.
Hey. Just a little message before we get started. I offer one on one coaching to women for breakup recovery and dating. So if you're interested, just send me an email at [email protected]. That's [email protected]. And let me know if you're interested, and I can give you information. We can hop on a very brief call to see what your needs are either around dating and or breakup recovery, and I'm really excited to help you on your journey.
[00:00:37] Unknown:
Hey. I'm Tracy Panock, and welcome to the Bitter to Better podcast where I talk all things love and life that help women live better after breakups. I'm glad you're here, and let's get into it.
[00:00:59] Unknown:
Hey. Hey. Today, I'm talking about sleep routines or sleep hygiene, which are the routines and habits that we have around sleep just like you have bodily hygiene and oral hygiene. So when I work with people, I oftentimes assess what I call the five basic areas of self care. That's sleeping, eating, exercise, social connection, and boundary setting. So sleep is a huge one because I always say nothing is better with poor sleep. With poor sleep, everything else is worse. It's hard for you to have energy for you for you to think clearly. It impacts your mood, motivation, all of these things. So when we think about trying to have or build healthy lifestyle habits in the way we eat, the way we move, the way we connect with others, it becomes hard to do that sustainably if we are not sleeping well because we then don't have everything we need to be, to be on top of being physically active and making sure we're making good food choices and making sure we have the energy to talk to other people and, I don't know, clean our house, things like that. So today, I want to talk about sleep routines and helping you build a sleep routine.
It's something that I do with, I don't know, probably about eighty percent of the people I work with because oftentimes people find that they're not having the best sleep habits, and then that's impacting their ability to have a good morning routine. There's a past episode, and you could check the show notes of this episode to find it, but there's a past episode of the podcast about building your morning routine. And something that is very important to know is that your morning routine is impacted by what you're doing the night before. So it's important for us to talk about sleep hygiene and sleep routines. So I encourage you to get some pen and paper, a notebook, or something to type with so you can create your own sleep routine from this episode.
I like to have people get a piece of paper, label it sleep routine, and then we are going to create a sleep routine from the most ideal circumstances. Meaning, it may be something that is uncomfortable or challenging for you to do now, such as set an earlier bedtime or do shutdown time an hour before bedtime, and I'll explain all of this. But I'm going to lay it out as you want it to ideally be. And then I tell people to consistently, like, on a nightly basis for one to two weeks, try it out so that you can get data about what is and isn't helpful to you and see where you might want to make some tweaks. But get your pen and paper and write sleep routine.
Next, I want you to write bedtime, and this is where I want you to put your ideal bedtime in order to get eight hours of sleep. Meaning, you need to look at what time you need to wake up in the morning, count back eight hours, and that needs to be your bedtime. So for this example, let's say bedtime is 10PM. Under bedtime, you're going to write wake up, which for this example would be 6AM, eight hours from 10PM. And then under that, you're going to write shutdown time. That will be 9PM because, ideally, your shutdown time is an hour before your intended bedtime.
K. If you realize that an hour before bedtime is really difficult for you to do because of your schedule or something like that, then you can shorten it to a half hour before bedtime, but it's ideal to try to start with an hour. Okay. Next, I want you to write potential shutdown time activities. Potential shutdown time activities. This is where you're going to brainstorm about any and everything that you have come to find is a soothing, relaxing, calming, activity for you, and that could realistically be done before bed. So I want to be clear. This does not mean it's something that you currently do. You could have been someone who liked to paint in the past, and you've stopped doing that. This would still go on this list if you recognize that it's something that is soothing or calming to you. So we're just gonna brainstorm. So examples might be, coloring, drawing, sketching, journaling, writing poetry or writing stories, listening to podcasts, listening to books, listening to music, meditating, breath work, stretching, yoga, skin care routine, massage, stretching, if I didn't already say that.
Yeah. Any of these sort of things would go on this list if you find them calming or soothing to you even if you don't currently do them. Because what we first want to do with this potential shutdown time activities list is get as large of a bucket as possible to pull from in order to actually put together your sleep routine. So the next thing here that we're going to do is actually just write out the activities from this list that you want to try to do every night as your shutdown time routine. So remember, what we're doing here is saying, okay. For the for this example, at 9PM, I'm going into shutdown mode. So what are we not doing during shutdown time? We're not having any screen time of any sort. We're not on our phones. We're not watching TV. We're not on the Internet. We're not watching YouTube.
None of that. No screen viewage. We are trying to, you know, not have blue light going into our eyes and, therefore, our brains keeping our brains active. We're also not doing any type of stressful activity. So if there's a certain person you talk to who stresses you out, you're doing that before your shutdown time. So in this example, you're doing that before 9PM. Your work, any work you have to do, you're doing that before 9PM. Dinner and all of that will have been done. Everything, all the chores and tasks and obligations and stressful things, we're doing that before shutdown time. Okay. So now it's 9PM. You want to ask yourself, how do I want to start my shutdown time? If you're someone who takes your showers at night, then I I recommend starting shutdown time with a shower. But, honestly, some people might get home, you know, earlier in the day and immediately take their showers then, so that's fine. But if you happen to be someone who likes to shower at night, right before bed, then a good way to start your shutdown routine teen is to take your shower. Then maybe you go into your skin care routine if you're someone who has a skin care routine. And then you bring yourself into your bedroom or a calm, soothing place, and you start doing some of the other activities. So if you like to let's say, you like to read and you put that on your potential activities list, Maybe, you decide to read a couple of chapters of your book and then maybe do a ten minute meditation.
And that's it. That could be your shutdown routine time routine. At 9PM, I take my shower. I wash my face. I read my book. I do meditation, and I fall off to sleep. I can meditate in bed. I can meditate outside of bed, whatever I wanna do, and boom. There we have it. So you can put whatever you want in these, as far as, put whatever you want into your act your shutdown time routine, but they need to be calming, soothing things that are not keeping your brain super active. So just kind of keep that in mind. And then I want you to try it out every night for a good week or so just to see what happens, just to collect data, just to say, oh, it's helped me get to sleep faster, or it's helped me stay asleep throughout the night, or it's helped me feel more well rested when I wake in the morning. Because because what I usually ask people, when I assess their sleep is, are you having any significant struggles with falling asleep, staying asleep, or feeling well rested when you get enough hours of sleep? And doing a shutdown time routine can help improve your overall quality of sleep in all of these areas. K? So now let's move on to the next part of this, which is what you do if you wake in the middle of the night.
[00:08:53] Unknown:
Do you like what you're hearing? Are you picking up what I'm putting down? Want to help the pod? If so, please know it's greatly appreciated, and I welcome you to support the Bitter to Better podcast however you can. Might I suggest a few options? First, please rate and review the show on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or whatever platform you choose. Next, how about sending this podcast to one friend who you know could use it? This way, she can't say you've never given her anything. If you're really riding with me, talk about the show on social media and tag me. I'm at tracy panok on Instagram. And lastly, if you ever use any products or services I mentioned in the pod, can you tell them Tracy panok from the Bitter to Better podcast sent you?
Please and thank
[00:09:46] Unknown:
you. So let's start with expectations for waking in the middle of the night. What I mean is it's totally normal to wake in the middle of the night to get a drink of water, go to the bathroom, adjust your sleeping position, things like that. So it's not so much the waking up that's the problem. It's the ability to return back to sleep. So I usually tell people, give yourself twenty minutes to fall back asleep without doing anything besides closing your eyes. Maybe you practice some deep breathing or you might meditate a little, but pretty much give yourself twenty minutes to fall back asleep normally without an issue. If after twenty minutes you are not asleep, then I do suggest you get up and do something. And I think of this in levels or phases one, two, and three. Meaning, the first thing you might do after twenty minutes has passed and you still haven't gone back to sleep or let's start with what you won't do. You will not turn on the television. You will not pick up your phone. So let me stop for a moment actually to give a little spiel on the phone.
If you're someone who really struggles not to reach for your phone when you wake up in the middle of the night, then I suggest you not have your phone in your room or you put it far away from you where you would have to get up to get it. I also highly recommend the do not disturb function, which actually I should have said that in regards to your sleep routine before you go to bed. Set a time for your phone to automatically go into do not disturb so that, yeah, you don't get a bunch of notifications and things that tempt you to go on your phone. So mine is set for 09:00. So after 9PM, people don't hear so much from me. And if you have certain people who you need to come through, you can set that well, I'm talking as I no. No. I use the iPhone. I'm assuming that this function is available on all phones, but you can set the people whose messages and phone calls you want to come through when it's do not disturb. Obviously, being a parent and your children being with the other parent or with someone else, that might be a concern. So set those people as you need to.
But if any of those people are people who stress you out or who might be very chatty with you after your shutdown time, you can let them know that you're working on your sleep, and so you'll be less responsive after whatever time and, you know, unless it's an emergency. So that's just a side note. But what you will not do when you wake up in the middle of the night is turn on screens or start engaging in something that's highly, you know, activating, like starting to do work, get up, turn on your light, go to your computer, and start doing things. No. No screens. No computer. No phone. No TV. But what you can do, if you wake up and you realize it's related to, like, anxiety, racing thoughts, you're thinking about your to do list, or you're thinking about something that happened earlier that day and it's going around in your head, or you're nervous about work tomorrow or any of the things, or you had a nightmare, anything that, like, has you heightened, elevated, nervous, worry, anxious, then I suggest you start with a brain dump in a journal. So I do recommend keeping a notebook by your bed with something to write with, where you can write your thoughts, feelings, ideas, your to do list. Like, if you are thinking about all the things you have to do tomorrow, then put it on on paper so you can get it out of your head. And that sometimes is enough to relax us enough to be able to go back to sleep or write about the nightmare you had or just write about the random thoughts that are on your mind. It doesn't need to make sense. The idea is that you're brain dumping. It's almost like talking to someone and letting them know everything that's on your mind, but, you're putting it into a journal. So that's step one. If after you do that, you're not feeling or you're not going back to sleep, then I recommend you engage in something that you might have done in order to go to sleep. So for instance, if your sleep routine that you put together, if it included something like reading a book or listening to a podcast, then maybe that's something you then you go to do that thing. So the the idea behind this is if I'm going to be awake anyway, I can start reading a book, and I can be a few chapters into a good book, or I fall asleep within a chapter or two, which is the goal. One of those two things happens, and it's better that that I'm just awake reading a good story than if I'm just laying in bed twiddling my thumbs becoming highly frustrated.
But if after you've been reading for a while or listening to a podcast for a while or listening to music or meditating, whatever the thing is that you're doing, and you realize, okay, it's been an hour or I'm so many chapters in or I'm on my second, third podcast episode, whatever, you get up and you do something. That's the final phase of this, level three. I call it the chore challenge. You actually get up and do some sort of task in your home. Maybe it's mopping the floor, sweeping the floors, cleaning out the refrigerator, laundry, whatever.
Because the idea is if you're gonna be awake anyway, you might as well be productive with something in your house. Or it's 2AM and your brain and your body are like, psych. We're not going to get up and mop. We're actually kinda tired and we're gonna go back to sleep. So one of those two things happens. So that's kind of the level of escalation if you wake in the middle of the night and you're not back asleep within twenty minutes. You should get up and do something like you should get up and do something, and I recommend kind of going in that order, in in those phases.
Okay. That's that on the sleep routine. Just remember that whenever you are trying to form healthy life life habits, such as a morning routine, some sort of wellness routine, sleep matters a lot. So it's really important that all of us work on our sleep hygiene, which are our routines and habits around sleep, and we want to have good sleep hygiene rather than poor sleep hygiene. And so that means being very conscious about what you're doing right before going to bed and really trying to engage in soothing, relaxing activities that are going to help prepare your mind and body for rest. Alright. That's all for today. See you next week.
[00:15:38] Unknown:
Hey. By the way, I can be found in other places besides this podcast. Just search my name on YouTube, and you'll find my channel. Subscribe for periodic how to videos for dealing with breakups and mastering dating. That's right. I said mastering dating. It's a skill, ladies. I can also be found on Instagram at tracy panach. And lastly, I most encourage you to join my email list where you get breakup and dating support delivered to your inbox in addition to getting the most exclusive access to my programs and coaching services. My email list subscribers are the first to know when my coaching programs launch and the only people to get discounts when they're offered. As always, I'm glad we got into it and looking forward to next time.
