Here are some things I do to organize and streamline my life in order to reduce stress and save my sanity.
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Stress Management Video https://youtu.be/-oir8F4PARk
Full Focus Planner https://fullfocus.co/planner/?gc_id=20151678144&h_ad_id=661050659748&gclid=CjwKCAjws7WkBhBFEiwAIi1680DeSFUEMXoVRr7jLGg4EHK5Azvk4UAflYYlvKP24xhCZnS9y6zEshoC1-sQAvD_BwE
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[00:00:00]
Unknown:
Hey. Just a little message before we get started. I offer one on one coaching to women for breakup recovery and dating. So if you're interested, just send me an email at [email protected]. That's [email protected]. And let me know if you're interested, and I can give you information. We can hop on a very brief call to see what your needs are either around dating and or breakup recovery, and I'm really excited to help you on your journey.
[00:00:37] Unknown:
Hey. I'm Tracy Panock, and welcome to the Bitter to Better podcast, where I talk all things love and life that help women live better after breakups. I'm glad you're here, and let's get into it.
[00:00:56] Unknown:
In today's episode, I am talking about my sanity saving systems. So things that I do to help run my life and reduce stress as much as possible in the process. Process. And it's not that everything I'm doing is revolutionary. It's not that it's all things that no one else is doing. It's just more about kind of bringing bringing it all together in this one episode. And there will likely be, kind of addendums and updates to this process over time as I find more things or figure out new things or try new things or get advice and suggestions from other people. But here are some things that I suggestions from other people. But here are some things that I have realized are helpful for me in managing my life. I'd first like to say it's really about streamlining, delegating, scheduling, and planning.
So streamlining all parts of your life that you can by developing routines and processes that help you not have to think about what you need to do next or how you need to do it, and that help you do it in, as efficiently as possible. But also delegating task, you know, to paid help, to friends or family, to automate systems, things like that. Scheduling, so actually blocking out time in your life to do certain things. Actually blocking out time in your life to do certain things. And planning, you know, sitting down and figuring out what needs to be done and when. And maybe all of that should be done in the opposite order that I just mentioned it. But I would say those are four things that you want to be thinking about, streamlining, delegating, scheduling, and planning.
For me, it starts with some sort of the basic wellness routine. And this shifts at different times for me. But at baseline, I like to get up an hour earlier be be an hour before I need to wake up my children so that I can have that hour of time alone. And sometimes it may be the only hour of the the only hour of the day that I get time alone or to myself, whether it's because the other hours I have my kids or I'm working, or, you know, maybe I'm socializing, things like that. So I try to wake up at 05:45AM each day, and, I definitely have my coffee. Sometimes I read a book. Sometimes I listen to law of attraction, content.
There were times where I was doing yoga, but I just take quiet time and peace time to not have to do anything during this time. So I don't use this time to start prepping, you know, for my son's day at school or any of that sort of stuff. I use it to just relax and be at peace. So let's talk about chores, errands, and tasks. So pretty much the dreaded to do list. There are a couple of things I wanna say about this. I actually conceptualize the to do list as two to do list. There's the need to do versus the want to do. So if you take all the things, you could have 50 things that you need to tend to and get done in your life, and you put them all on this one general to do list, but which then, of course, feels overwhelming and paralyzing and stressful and anxiety provoking.
What I suggest is that you actually kind of go through and, like, audit that to do list and see what things on that list are things that you actually need to do and in a certain time frame or in a certain way versus the things that you more want to do at a certain way or a certain time frame. So for example, my own personal example, there was a time in which I felt my bathroom needed to be deep cleaned every week. But I realized that trying to do that every week was causing a certain amount of stress, and I came to realize it was unnecessary stress. Because what I had to ask myself was, well, if I generally, like, wipe up the bathroom one week and then maybe the next week do do more of a deep clean, then will everybody be okay and will the world keep on turning if I do deep clean every other week, maybe even once a month? And the answer was yes. So I changed my idea of the bathroom meeting to be deep cleaned every week. You can apply this to any task or chore in your life, but it's helpful to identify any of those tasks that you may be, doing the most in.
Laundry, maybe you're you know, you washed twice a week, let's say, because, you know, there's so many clothes or, you know, if you don't, someone in the family will run out of socks or underwear or something like that. Well, you might want to stop and ask yourself if the laundry piece is is stressful for you. Do I need to do laundry this often, or are there other ways? Are there alternatives? So if, you know, so and so would run out of socks if I didn't wash twice a week, maybe the answer is buying more socks. So just taking a moment to look at your to do list and identify any things that you may be doing to an intensity or on a deadline that really doesn't suit you and your lifestyle. The other thing about this is what we need at one point in our lives versus another and what works at one point versus another changes and shifts. So maybe you had a certain routine of how you did laundry or cleaned the bathroom, before you had kids or before you had two kids instead of one or when you were in a, partnership and a romantic relationship versus being single or when your job was different or your work hours were different or your health was different.
Insert anythings that change our lives and recognize when you may sometimes need to make a shift to what you were used to doing. The other thing that I live by is I I schedule my to do list onto my calendar. So I'm someone who keeps an electronic calendar, like a goo Google Calendar on my phone, but I also have a paper calendar. I use a focus planner, and I will link anything that I mentioned in this episode. I will link in the show notes. But I love this planner because it has you break down your life day by day. You can break it down hour by hour.
It gives you a new to do list for each day and has all these things that are very useful in organizing and planning your life. You don't have to necessarily use a focus planner to do this, though. In the show notes, I am linking a stress management video that I have, and it's, like, the first thing that I give to my clients around stress management, time management, to do list, all of these sort of things. And I highly recommend you watch it. And in this video, I go I give detail step by step detail as to how to do this calendar exercise where you literally you pick a day each week, let's say Sunday, where you map out your whole week. That means you write in this calendar every doctor's appointment, the hours you want to sleep at night, your work schedule, when you plan to work out, when you plan to do some form of self care, the birthday party you are attending, if you know you wanna do laundry that week, what day, what time, all of that stuff. Because this helps you recognize a number of things. It helps you recognize recognize what time you do and don't have because we're always saying we don't have enough time. But sometimes we do have chunks of time in our lives that are not dedicated to something, but we will come to realize that when that time period comes around, we still don't do the things. And so I suggest that there are four other things that get in the way besides of not enough time. Four other things that can get in the way of us doing things that we need to do. And in this video, I go into detail, but it's pretty much much there's time, but there's also energy. So sometimes I have the time, but I don't have the mental or physical energy. There's also clarity, which means maybe I realize I have an hour of free time in my day, and that comes up. And I have the energy, but there's so many things on my to do list, and I have not organized and prioritize them. But I spend that whole time running around in circles and spinning and getting nothing done because I'm trying to decide what to tackle first. Then there's also discipline and motivation.
So we oftentimes are not motivated to do the things we need to do. And there's this quote that says, you will not always be motivated, therefore, you must be disciplined. And so that's where discipline comes into play. Discipline are the routines and plans that we have in place to still do the thing. So I may not be motivated to work out Monday, Wednesday, Friday, but I've put a plan in place to do that. And if I follow through on that plan, I will get the results that I want. Even if I wasn't really motivated on Wednesday to go, I have it as part I'm being disciplined and have it as part of my plan, so I go. So those are the five areas that we want to check-in on around why we're not getting certain things done. And, again, if you watch the stress management video, I go into all of that.
Next, let's get into things around nutrition and meals and cooking. So let's start with grocery shopping. I keep a running grocery list on my phone. You can also keep one on your refrigerator where as soon as I realize something's running low, I go to that list and I add it. Because what I know I will do is forget any and everything that I need when I go to the grocery store even if I want to like, even if I make a grocery list before I go. If I have to kind of be on the spot and make the list, I am guaranteed to forget something. So instead, I just keep this running list where I just add things and add things so that when I do go grocery shopping, I don't have to think about it. Everything I need is already on that list. So it's in my phone notes, but you could also do it on the refrigerator. Just keep in mind, you're gonna want to take the piece of paper with you or take a picture of, you know, your dry erase board on your refrigerator or whatever when you go. So I like to put it in my phone because then it's always there. That is a lifesaver for me. Like, I can't even tell you how I don't stress about what I need to get at the grocery store because I know there's a running list that keeps, that keeps it altogether for me. The other thing that I've been working on that I don't do as well just yet is keeping a list of, in quotes, go to meals. So those meals that I have in some way mastered or they're easy for me so that when I'm really not in the headspace or don't have the physical energy to, like, think up a meal or things like that, I'm like, oh, these are meals that I've always enjoyed, and I know how to make without, like, you know, taking out a recipe book and thinking too hard about it. And I sometimes have to remind myself that they exist. Like, you know, making, like, a a good, like, bolognese sauce first, for pasta. I love it. It's always fulfilling and satisfying, but I honestly don't remember that that's an option, oftentimes. So I have this list on my refrigerator of when I when I make a meal that I really enjoy and that I generally know how to make easily, I put it on that list so that I can look over there at at the refrigerator at times and say, oh, what are some ideas that I have? Because part of my issue as well is that I need variety in the food that I eat. I get bored very easily, so I don't like eating the same things over and over again.
So, I need reminders of, you know, meals that I can go to for for variety, but they're also convenient and easy for me, and they're enjoyable to eat. So any any of the meals on that list have to be meals that I thoroughly enjoy eating. Also, don't forget about grocery delivery. I was heavy into that through COVID and through initially moving to my current place. I now do no grocery delivery, but that has also been partially a delivered effort to just get outside more. But grocery delivery can be very convenient and very helpful for us getting the things into the house that we need. This also brings me to, like, meal prep kits like HelloFresh, or there's one that's actually cheaper, but it's also owned by HelloFresh. It was pretty much the same thing, and it's called EveryPlate.
And I'll put those links in the show notes. I do sorry. I do utilize this service, but kind of on, like, a monthly basis. I monthly basis. I don't get weekly meals or things like that financially. I don't want to do that. But, also, I don't always want to, you know, have these feel the pressure of having to cook these meals where the ingredients are are there. But I like the variety and the ease that these, meal prep, month, every five, maybe six weeks, I have, a meal delivered and or a couple of meals delivered, and that has been very helpful in, streamlining my cooking process.
What's also been fun about the meal delivery kits is that my oldest son, really enjoys cooking with me, like, following recipes and cooking with me. So it's also been helpful in creating some quality time as well as, teaching him some life skills. It's not that he can't help cook when I cook other meals, and we have done that here and there, but it is much easier when when we have this written out recipe that he reads and things like that. So these meals really help us do that. Next, this brings us into meal prep. And I don't do any, like, major formalized meal prepping. I don't, like, prep my lunches for seven days or anything like that.
For me, that's a little too exhausting, and I don't think I would stick with it. And, also, I mean, I have to have the storage containers and the space in the refrigerator and all of that sort of stuff. But I do some informal meal prepping in the way of recognizing where I struggle the most in keeping, you know, eating meal or fueling my body in a healthy way, meaning making sure I'm getting all my meals and snacks and things like that. And during the work week, lunchtime is the tricky thing. Now that I'm regularly working out, I have no choice but to eat breakfast in order to get through my workout. So that has kind of re the the whole, oh, I'm not eating breakfast thing has, like, resolved itself a bit, which side note on that, I used to consider myself a breakfast person, but the my coffee, like, tends to fill me up, except, of course, I end up being starving a little later into the morning. So I found myself not being motivated to eat breakfast, and then I, like, have to get, you know, my son to school and do all the and get ready for work and all those things. So I would just kind of like, oh, let me just, you know, eat something later. And, no, that's not that's not a good idea.
So that was an issue. But now that I'm working out regularly, which I'll get to, I'm automatically eating some form of breakfast because I need to in order to get through my workout. But lunch is kind of like a touch and go sort of thing. Sometimes I was doing it in between sessions. So one of the things that I have altered is my schedule so that I do have a firm cutoff for most days unless it's, like, an unexpected session or something like that, or a session I really need to fit in. I'm cutting off, around 2PM so that I have time to eat lunch before I pick up my son from school. So first of all, it's about me planning and scheduling that time to eat lunch. But the other issue was what am I what am I gonna eat for lunch? If I had to think too hard about it or if it was too complicated or or took too long, I would end up just kind of, like, grabbing whatever.
So I did identify some key go to lunches for myself so that if I, like, don't have leftovers from the night before that I want to eat, I can have one of these three things. And it's either salad, what I call super salad, which means I put a lot of good stuff on it. I'm not just saying a bunch of lettuce and, like, torturing myself. I put the things on it that I really love, or a rice bowl, which oftentimes is using meat leftover, meat that was cooked, you know, leftover meat that was cooked, like, the day before and then just heating up precooked rice that, you know, rice that I had already cooked. And then any cut up any vegetables, add some hummus or some sour cream, a nice dressing, and I have a delicious rice bowl. Or very recently, I started prepping stuffed peppers. So I will make the stuffing, the rice ground beef, seasonings, and all of that mixed up and cook that. And then I would put them in raw peppers, and then I would freeze the peppers. And so then I could just take the pepper out of the freezer and pop it in the oven and have it for lunch or even dinner. As we speak, I'm heating one up for dinner right now. And then I could throw some vegetables on the side, and then I have a meal. So those are three go to lunches for me that I'm able to easily prep or prepare. With salads, cutting up the toppings for the salad, like, the day before or so is very helpful to me because one thing is I get very lazy about all of the steps of making a salad. So it's just recognizing where your roadblocks are and doing things to address those. And so this is one of the ways that I'm helping myself make sure I get all of my meals.
Also, I've been wanting to make sure I get my proper amount of water intake, and I've identified that to be a certain amount. I have this, water bottle that has 24 ounces, so I pretty much need to drink three of those a day. And I drink an eight ounce glass of lemon water in the morning automatically. Like, I it's one of the like, the first thing I drink, I kinda chug it because I know that I'm having a cup of coffee and the caffeine, you know, dehydrates you. So I kinda make up I try to make up for that coffee with the eight ounces of water, which also just helps. Like, oftentimes, I wake up, up, you know, like, with my sinuses being dry and stuff like that. So having that water really helps. So with that, I since I've identified the amount of water I need to drink, I, have my water bottle and I've identified as three of them. But also on my busy, hectic day, I don't necessarily remember how many of the how how many of the is this my first one or my second one? Have I drink that? So I put, little hair ties around the bottle, at the bottom of the bottle. So I'll put three at the bottom of the bottle. And after I finish every time I finish the bottle, I move one hair tie up to the top. And that's not a new revolutionary idea. Plenty of people do that, but that's something that I very recently started doing. It's been very helpful to me. And I also think it's just more motivating to me to drink my water because I kind of see myself. You know? I'm like, oh, I wanna move that band up. But, also, this has a lot to do with me working out regularly now as well. So that's just, like, a a little tip that I've been doing to make sure I get enough water. And I've seen the benefits, of course. Like, my skin, looks a bit better. My eyes, I hadn't realized that they weren't well, I had realized they were not as white as I as they should be, but I hadn't really recognized the connection to drinking water. Because eyes, I'm someone who generally does drink a good amount of water. I keep a water bottle with me that I keep filled up all the time. But before formally tracking my water, I hadn't realized the impact just in the color of my eyes, and now I'm noticing they're brighter, they're whiter, all of that. I do have to pee a lot, but, hey. It's it just comes with the territory.
Back to the idea of meal prepping for my oldest son who's in soccer. Two days a week, we have soccer practice, and those can be kind of hectic for dinner and homework and all the evening routine stuff. So one of the things I do is I purchase, two cheese pizzas on Tuesdays, and then I individually freeze each piece so that I can dish it out for the next, like, two weeks for his, dinner either before or after soccer practice where I don't have to cook. I don't have to think. He's limited in some in the things that he likes to eat, so it's not like I can just make whatever I'm making all the time and and he'll that he'll really eat that. So I can just pull them out of the freezer and make them, and it has done wonders. It's made what I thought would be a bit stressful. The whole, like, how do we fit soccer practice into life, it's made it very unstressful. Next, we have some parenting things that I do or things in regards to parenting and the kids.
So schedules. I I'm big on checklist and typing things up just to remember things or not have to keep everything in my head. But, also, it's great at being able to give my my older son visual cues and information to help keep him focused and organized as well. So I've typed up, like, a morning routine and an after school routine for him so that he's clear on what the process is. Like, okay. You know, in the morning, you know, wake up and get dressed and brush your teeth, eat breakfast, all that sort of stuff. And after school, you know, it's getting your snack and, doing your homework and those sort of things. So we don't necessarily, like, have that posted up and where he, like, looks at it each day or anything like that. But whenever there's maybe a change to our routine, I'll type one up so that we can all be clear because, you know, there might be times where he pushes against that. And I'm like, okay. But this is this is the routine. This is where it always is. And, also, sometimes, it can help motivate him to follow through on the routine because he gets to check off the things that he's done. So type sometimes typing up the morning routine, the after school routine. I did one when we started soccer because that changed our schedule a bit in the evenings. So this is what we're gonna do first, and this is what we're gonna do after soccer and all that sort of stuff. That's very helpful for both of us. It keeps both of us organized. We're also now doing for him, which is essentially a chore chart, but, actually, we've made it I call it his time sheet because he asked me one day what can kids do to make money before they're old enough to have jobs. And I was like, we call them chores.
And so his one chore right now is to make up his bed each day in the morning, and then he checks it off on the chart, and he gets 25¢ for every day that he makes up his bed. And at the end of the week, he gets his, in quotes, paycheck. And then we talk about what portion of that does he want to put into savings and what portion does he want to keep for spending. And so it's taken the chore chart and made it way more motivational and more beneficial to just learning life skills, learning about work and what we you know, we get paid when we work and don't get paid when we don't. And we're we're talking about the idea of a of a promotion of adding another chore to the chart once he's mastered this current chore. So this has been very, very beneficial and helpful, and I don't have to fight him to make his bed.
So, it's very helpful to think about what are the the life skills I want him to learn that we can start instituting as chores and pretty much his job. And it helps him make money, but also learn the concept of saving and spending money.
[00:23:08] Unknown:
Do you like what you're hearing? Are you picking up what I'm putting down? Want to help the pod? If so, please know it's greatly appreciated, and I welcome you to support the Bitter to Better podcast however you can. Might I suggest a few options? First, please rate and review the show on Spotify, Apple Podcast, or whatever platform you choose. Next, how about sending this podcast to one friend who you know could use it? This way, she can't say you've never given her anything. If you're really riding with me, talk about the show on social media and tag me. I'm at tracy panok on Instagram. And lastly, if you ever use any products or services I mentioned in the pod, can you tell them Tracey Panach from the Bitter to Better podcast sent you?
Please, and thank you.
[00:24:00] Unknown:
I make sure the boys have a calendar in their bedroom so that things that are important to them are written on it. So soccer practice, soccer game, play dates, when there's no school, certain, loved ones, birthdays, any event that we're going going to go to that they're gonna be a part of, that's all written on their calendar where they can see it. And and, of course, it's helping to build skills around, you know, knowing the days of the weeks and, you know, months and all of that sort of stuff. It starts, you know, the process of looking at organizing and scheduling and things like that.
Something that I'm wanting to start for myself and the kids is, like, picking a day, so probably Sundays, that is, like, hygiene, self care stuff. So or grooming. That's what it is. Grooming. So making sure I clip their nails and clean their ears and things like that because those are things that easily go by the wayside for me at times. And I'm like, oh my gosh. How long has it been since your nails have been clipped? And, you know, they have, like, claws and stuff like that. So I'm like, if every Sunday, I make sure sure to just do a check of fingernails and toenails. Okay. We're all set. And ears. Okay. We're all set. That's something that I'm wanting to start. I realized it will help me not have this frantic, like, oh, it's been so long since I've done these things. So that's something that I'm starting to institute. And as I say this, I need to actually write it on my calendar on Sundays for at least the next couple of months until it becomes routine.
Things around kids' recreation has been important for me because I'm like, okay. I want to make sure they're getting, good socialization and physical activity, and this has come up more so for my older son at this time. And so come up more for my younger son as he gets older. But, so I focused on, you know, play dates and just kind of reaching out with a certain regularity to other parents to get, you know, kids together. There's also back to my list, I created this list of after school activities that me and my son can do as part of, like, helping him decompress from the day and stuff like that, but also giving him reasonable options of things for us to do. Like, we can't always, you know, go out and do something big after school or things like that. So I have a list though of possibilities. So it says, like, board games, Pokemon battle, hide and seek.
I I don't know. There are a bunch of other things on there. At one point, before he started soccer, we would, like, kick the soccer ball around in the house a bit. Like but these things where it's like, after he gets home from school, we can engage in them together. And sometimes I have sessions after he gets back from after he gets home from school, so stuff I can do in between getting home and starting my sessions. So that has helped to make sure there's more of a built in quality time between us because there are times where I'm so hunkered down in work that, like, I'll get him home, get him set up with his snacks, stuff like that, and then kind of go and get into my work. And I've had to or I've wanted to be more mindful about giving him that quality time if he wants it after school. Sometimes he's fine to do his own thing, but other times he wants us to join in something together. So I'll tell him, hey. Pick something off the list that you wanna do today. That's been helpful just to make sure I get that time in there for the both of us. So then there's sleeping, you know, kids and sleeping, the dreaded kids and sleep.
So on the weekends, that's when I have my three year old. So first of all, he's three. So what is sleep, really? And so I realized that I saved myself a lot of stress by allowing my older son to sleep in the living room on the trundle bed that pulls out from under the sofa on the weekends when his brother is here because, I was concerned about so so my three year old goes down to bed a little bit earlier than my eight year old. And so then when it was time to I would put my three year old to bed, and then when it's time for the eight year old to go to bed, they share they share a room. They have bunk beds. So, of course, like, then I was concerned about, like, waking up the three year old. Now granted, I started this, like, a good year or so ago. So they were younger, and I think, you know, I think now my three three year old sleeps a little more soundly.
So I don't think I'm as concerned now about the possibility of waking him up, but it's just become a routine now. And my oldest really likes it because because it's the weekend, I'll I allow him to, watch TV longer, out in the living room, you know, and it kinda becomes a fun night for him. But what I'm saying here is that wasn't my original plan. That's not what I wanted things to be. I was like, they have a bunk bed. They can sleep in the room together, all that wonderful stuff. But then I realized to save it was it was either try to stick to that plan and have the stress of potentially waking up my youngest and then the drama that comes from waking up a toddler, or to do this and kind of make it work for us. And so that's one of the things that I've done to save my sanity around kids and sleeping is the oldest gets to sleep out in a living room and, while his younger brother sleeps in the bedroom on weekends.
Also, I keep a couple of changes of pajamas in my bedroom so that if in the middle of the night, my oldest like, sometimes he might wet the bed on occasion. Like, if he needs to change his pajamas, he doesn't have to go in their bedroom to do it, again, not wake up his brother, and he could just come in my room and do it. So that was a a system I put into place once I realized that, like, I had concerns about him going into the bedroom in the middle of the night and waking up his brother as he gathered clothes and stuff like that. So I keep a, I make a point to keep a change of pajamas in my room. And then more recently, my youngest, just because he does wake in the middle of the night about twice. The first time he wakes up, typically, he goes back down pretty easily if I walk him back to his room and I lay there with him. The second time can be touch or go, and it can result in him being up for another couple of hours and demanding breakfast at, like, five in the morning, or three in the morning, stuff like that.
So now so I tried in the past, like, letting him come into my bed, but he kinda saw my bed as, like, playtime. He would never go to sleep in my bed. But recently, the couple of times I've tried it, he has managed to fall asleep in my bed. So my sanity saving thing just being, you know, shifting to allowing him to come in my room to go to sleep. Again, that's obviously not revolutionary. Children since the dawn of time, have been sleeping in their parents' beds. And we many of us know that it's one of the easiest ways to get them back to sleep. So that is what I've been doing around sleeping arrangements in order to save my sanity.
For childcare, care, I have some besides, like, using, like, my mom when she's available and things like that and each of my son's fathers, you know, at times when they're with their dads. And in terms of paid child care, I use the Bambino app. In the past, I I have used care.com to find a a part time nanny when I needed one. And there's also, like, the Facebook, groups for searching for child care. But I really like Bambino because it allows you to find as needed, you know, short notice child care. And then when I make connections with some of the child care provider providers on there, they become regulars who I reach out to when I, you know, wanna do a date night or, have something, you know, come up that, you know, isn't planned out far in advance. But also when there are things that are planned out far in advance, it's been a great app for me, in terms of finding some quality people.
So I really, recommend looking into that app. And, again, it'll be in the show notes. Also, you know, having, like, an emergency contact list on your on your refrigerator so that anyone who is caring for your kids has all the numbers and all the things. Obviously, if the kids have any allergies, food to stay away from, stuff like that. But who are the people to contact if they can't reach you? You know, have your address on that paper, have all those things there in case they ever need to call emergency services, things like that. I mean, obviously, that's like a a basic, you know, a one zero one type of thing, but, it's something to definitely make note of and to update it over time if needed. So these are things that have helped, you know, again, save my sanity a bit, give me a more sense of give me more sense of security, and it's helpful for, you know, being organized when I have a, childcare provider, come into the home to watch the kids. And then just a couple of random hacks.
Obviously, like, going from having an infant where you would always have, like, a baby bag, a diaper bag, I don't carry that around anymore, but I do need things like pull ups, wipes, and maybe little baggies, little plastic baggies. So I make a point to keep those things in my car. The wipes are just always useful for, you know, grubby little hands and all of that. And then while my oldest was in soccer, we would bring a bag with, like, some of the soccer stuff, and I realized it made sense for me to keep a scarf and a blanket and maybe even gloves in there for myself because during the earlier part of the season, it was freezing out there. And so, just already having those things packed in his bag was just it really streamlined that in that situation for me and allowed me to be more comfortable at these practices and games. And I didn't have to think or remember to bring those things with me because they were already in the bag. Also, one of the big things I do is I pre, I prep my my kids' outfits, particularly my oldest son. So, like, for the school week, I hang the shirt and pants or shirt and shorts on a hanger for the week, so that we don't have to think about it. He just pulls them off the hanger and gets dressed. I'm not thinking about it every night or anything like that. So when I do laundry, I kind of just already put the outfits together and hang them on the hangers, and I can have them, like, laid out for, like, two weeks at a time.
And that is hugely his his outfits together. Also, something that I recently started doing is my three year old, he he takes showers. And, because to get him to sleep, I have to stay in the room with him, lay down with him. I tend to fall asleep when I'm putting him to sleep, which means that when I wake up, it could be, like, 10:00 at night, and I will find myself way too tired and exhausted to, like, wash my teeth wash my face, brush my teeth, stuff like that. And so I came to realize I have to to do those things before I lay down before I put him down to bed. So one of the ways that has been easy for me to do that is while he's showering, I will just, like, brush my teeth, in the bathroom, wash my face and stuff while he's there. And that's something that, like, it's so simple, but I just wasn't doing. And it was resulting in me, like, not completing my, like, hygiene process, some nights, like, when he was here because I would wake up at some random time of night in his room and just go straight to my bed because I was exhausted. And so the idea of washing my face and brushing my teeth was just not a thing that I would do. So this has, been a helpful, very small shift, to my routine.
So a huge sanity saver for me is having good sleep hygiene. Sleep hygiene are the routines and habits that we have around our sleep to help us the things we do to, get good quality sleep. And so that can be things that you do throughout the day such as making but, also, but, it's definitely important about what you do right before bed. I say an hour before bedtime. You call that I call that shutdown time. And I say, you know, it's best to only be engaging in sleep inducing activities. So things that are going to help bring you down physically, mentally, and start to prepare for rest. And so sleep hygiene is very important to me. I'm very mindful about trying to have only one cup of coffee, though there are plenty of times where I have more than that.
And those are the nights where I, reap the repercussions of that. But, generally, having one cup of coffee, you know, before 2PM sort of thing, but, also, I try to go into no screen time an hour before bed. I, have the sleep function on my phone so that my phone automatically at 9PM so I set it for 9PM, which is an hour before my intended 10:10PM bedtime, and, the phone stops notifications and automatically goes into that function and is hugely helpful for keeping me off my phone right before bed because I tend to forget about it when notifications aren't coming through. And so I'm just really about it when notifications aren't coming through. And so I'm just really thoughtful about what I'm doing an hour before bed, to help prepare me for rest.
And the reason why good sleep is important is because I always say nothing is better with poor sleep. You're less patient. You're less focused. It's harder for you to deal with any of your life stressors when you have poor sleep or when you're starving, you know, and you're hangry. But these very basic areas of self care are important, and sleep is, like, a primary one. It starts with sleep. Everything that you do, is impacted by how well you're sleeping. So it's just very important to have good sleep hygiene and to get good quality sleep. So with exercise, this recently changed for me because a few weeks ago, I joined a, like, circuit training gym.
And so I've been going to the gym, in the mornings anywhere from three to five five days a week. So it's like, you know, half hour intense workouts. So that has put me on a very specific workout schedule. But before that, my general go to for workouts was hula hooping, using the supernatural app on my Oculus headset and walks. And with that, I also realized I had to, like, find ways to, like, fit it in particularly when my youngest son was here. So I would like when it came to, like, toning exercises, like crunches and squats and stuff like that, there would be days where I would just kinda fit those things in in increments just to get them in. So that's kind of the sanity saving thing there for me where it's like, in order to not completely abandon working out, I would decide that, okay. Well, I'll get the crunches in here and the squats in here and things like that. Right now, that's not an issue because I'm going to these classes. But back to my original point at the beginning of this episode about, like, delegating things and stuff like that, like, I've delegated my my planning and scheduling for workouts. I've delegated it to this program, this formal program where I show up at certain times for the classes. So then I get my workout done, and I don't have to maneuver in all these different ways around getting my workout in. I have to say it's been wonderful. Like, I'm actually seeing positive results because I'm being consistent, and I'm being consistent because I'm not you know, I'm able to go to these classes, you know, when I have child free time and, you know you know, one sends at school and the other's with his dad, things like that. But what I'm getting at is I'm not having to figure out where I'm gonna fit this in. And I know that's one of the biggest, hardest things for a lot of people, a lot of parents, a lot of moms, a lot of single moms to figure out where you get the workout situation in. And for me, before I joined this gym, I did purposely do my workouts at home because there was that piece too where I just I'm not I'm not a consistent enough person with the gym for it to be worth me to, you know, to pay that and then try to figure out how I was gonna get out of the house, you know, and get that and go to the gym consistently knowing that, you know, I needed childcare or things like that. Where with this gym, there are these specific classes at specific times where it's like when, you know, the kids are in school. So great. I know I have to show up if I'm going to get my workout in because it's being led by a coach rather than me just showing up on my own. And so this has been very helpful to me, and I actually enjoy the workouts more than I thought I would. And I'm, you know, really seeing results.
Some sanity savers around my own personal care have been, for instance, figuring out what I wanna do with my hair because I hate doing my hair. It's time consume consuming, energy consuming, and I'm not particularly skilled at it. So with my natural hair, it's like doing wash and goes and twist outs and all these sort of things. And so I recently came up with, like, a a routine and system. I am I am choosing to get my hair braided. So pretty much I keep my braids in for about eight weeks and then take it out for two to four weeks and then put them back in. So I've become more consistent with that so that I don't have to think about what I'm doing with my hair, like, every single week. The weeks where I don't have the braids in, I've decided I think that I'll be doing like, getting silk press, so that my hair is still styled for a couple of weeks, and then I'll do, like, a wash and go for, like, the rest of the weeks.
But that has definitely helped me save time and energy, and so having this routine around my hair has been helpful. I get wax I have waxing appointments, like, monthly and very consistently, and I book the next session while I'm at the that current one. So that is good and consistent. My nails, I kinda do as needed, so I'll polish them at home. But if I'm going away or want a certain type of, like, manicure, I'll, go get them done professionally. And then there are the random life hacks that I'll do. If I know there's something particular that that I need to make sure I do in the morning or walk out of the house within the morning, I'm so good for putting something right in the middle of my, like, dining room table and then leaving it. So I'll put, like, a post it on the door with that with that reminder just so I can see it as I'm walking out of the door. And, also, like, keeping, a spare key, like, a, spare house key, like, with my mom or in certain locations so that just in case, I've been locked in my place once and had the neighbor help me get in. So, you know, having those sort of things in place in life.
So there, on that note, these are just some of the things that have, that I've noticed I do over these months I've been putting together this list. I'm sure there are more things, and I'm sure there will will be more things. But these are things that I realized, oh, yeah. These things do make a positive difference in your life, and they make it easier for you to live. And if you weren't doing these things, what would be different? And I definite definitely would be less productive, more tired, you know, more frazzled.
So I really encourage you to find your sanity saving systems, and I hope some of these are helpful to you and that maybe you're able to institute some of them. But really it's trial and error and noticing starting with noticing the areas where you are experiencing more stress or seeing a lot of road bumps. You know? Is it stressful to get the the groceries in the house or do cooking or, you know, your your exercise or how you eat or keeping your home clean or organized or things like that? Noticing where those areas are and then asking yourself what what would make it different, what would be, a beneficial, thing to a a beneficial routine to create or delegating it to someone or some service in some way. And just asking yourself these questions can go a long way in you developing the sanity saving systems for yourself.
[00:43:36] Unknown:
Hey. By the way, I can be found in other places besides this podcast. Just search my name on YouTube, and you'll find my channel. Subscribe for periodic how to videos for dealing with breakups and mastering dating. That's right. I said mastering dating. It's a skill, ladies. I can also be found on Instagram at tracy panach. And lastly, I most encourage you to join my email list where you get breakup and dating support delivered to your inbox in addition to getting the most exclusive access to my programs and coaching services. My email list subscribers are the first to know when my coaching programs launch and the only people to get discounts when they're offered. As always, I'm glad we got into it and looking forward to next time.
Hey. Just a little message before we get started. I offer one on one coaching to women for breakup recovery and dating. So if you're interested, just send me an email at [email protected]. That's [email protected]. And let me know if you're interested, and I can give you information. We can hop on a very brief call to see what your needs are either around dating and or breakup recovery, and I'm really excited to help you on your journey.
[00:00:37] Unknown:
Hey. I'm Tracy Panock, and welcome to the Bitter to Better podcast, where I talk all things love and life that help women live better after breakups. I'm glad you're here, and let's get into it.
[00:00:56] Unknown:
In today's episode, I am talking about my sanity saving systems. So things that I do to help run my life and reduce stress as much as possible in the process. Process. And it's not that everything I'm doing is revolutionary. It's not that it's all things that no one else is doing. It's just more about kind of bringing bringing it all together in this one episode. And there will likely be, kind of addendums and updates to this process over time as I find more things or figure out new things or try new things or get advice and suggestions from other people. But here are some things that I suggestions from other people. But here are some things that I have realized are helpful for me in managing my life. I'd first like to say it's really about streamlining, delegating, scheduling, and planning.
So streamlining all parts of your life that you can by developing routines and processes that help you not have to think about what you need to do next or how you need to do it, and that help you do it in, as efficiently as possible. But also delegating task, you know, to paid help, to friends or family, to automate systems, things like that. Scheduling, so actually blocking out time in your life to do certain things. Actually blocking out time in your life to do certain things. And planning, you know, sitting down and figuring out what needs to be done and when. And maybe all of that should be done in the opposite order that I just mentioned it. But I would say those are four things that you want to be thinking about, streamlining, delegating, scheduling, and planning.
For me, it starts with some sort of the basic wellness routine. And this shifts at different times for me. But at baseline, I like to get up an hour earlier be be an hour before I need to wake up my children so that I can have that hour of time alone. And sometimes it may be the only hour of the the only hour of the day that I get time alone or to myself, whether it's because the other hours I have my kids or I'm working, or, you know, maybe I'm socializing, things like that. So I try to wake up at 05:45AM each day, and, I definitely have my coffee. Sometimes I read a book. Sometimes I listen to law of attraction, content.
There were times where I was doing yoga, but I just take quiet time and peace time to not have to do anything during this time. So I don't use this time to start prepping, you know, for my son's day at school or any of that sort of stuff. I use it to just relax and be at peace. So let's talk about chores, errands, and tasks. So pretty much the dreaded to do list. There are a couple of things I wanna say about this. I actually conceptualize the to do list as two to do list. There's the need to do versus the want to do. So if you take all the things, you could have 50 things that you need to tend to and get done in your life, and you put them all on this one general to do list, but which then, of course, feels overwhelming and paralyzing and stressful and anxiety provoking.
What I suggest is that you actually kind of go through and, like, audit that to do list and see what things on that list are things that you actually need to do and in a certain time frame or in a certain way versus the things that you more want to do at a certain way or a certain time frame. So for example, my own personal example, there was a time in which I felt my bathroom needed to be deep cleaned every week. But I realized that trying to do that every week was causing a certain amount of stress, and I came to realize it was unnecessary stress. Because what I had to ask myself was, well, if I generally, like, wipe up the bathroom one week and then maybe the next week do do more of a deep clean, then will everybody be okay and will the world keep on turning if I do deep clean every other week, maybe even once a month? And the answer was yes. So I changed my idea of the bathroom meeting to be deep cleaned every week. You can apply this to any task or chore in your life, but it's helpful to identify any of those tasks that you may be, doing the most in.
Laundry, maybe you're you know, you washed twice a week, let's say, because, you know, there's so many clothes or, you know, if you don't, someone in the family will run out of socks or underwear or something like that. Well, you might want to stop and ask yourself if the laundry piece is is stressful for you. Do I need to do laundry this often, or are there other ways? Are there alternatives? So if, you know, so and so would run out of socks if I didn't wash twice a week, maybe the answer is buying more socks. So just taking a moment to look at your to do list and identify any things that you may be doing to an intensity or on a deadline that really doesn't suit you and your lifestyle. The other thing about this is what we need at one point in our lives versus another and what works at one point versus another changes and shifts. So maybe you had a certain routine of how you did laundry or cleaned the bathroom, before you had kids or before you had two kids instead of one or when you were in a, partnership and a romantic relationship versus being single or when your job was different or your work hours were different or your health was different.
Insert anythings that change our lives and recognize when you may sometimes need to make a shift to what you were used to doing. The other thing that I live by is I I schedule my to do list onto my calendar. So I'm someone who keeps an electronic calendar, like a goo Google Calendar on my phone, but I also have a paper calendar. I use a focus planner, and I will link anything that I mentioned in this episode. I will link in the show notes. But I love this planner because it has you break down your life day by day. You can break it down hour by hour.
It gives you a new to do list for each day and has all these things that are very useful in organizing and planning your life. You don't have to necessarily use a focus planner to do this, though. In the show notes, I am linking a stress management video that I have, and it's, like, the first thing that I give to my clients around stress management, time management, to do list, all of these sort of things. And I highly recommend you watch it. And in this video, I go I give detail step by step detail as to how to do this calendar exercise where you literally you pick a day each week, let's say Sunday, where you map out your whole week. That means you write in this calendar every doctor's appointment, the hours you want to sleep at night, your work schedule, when you plan to work out, when you plan to do some form of self care, the birthday party you are attending, if you know you wanna do laundry that week, what day, what time, all of that stuff. Because this helps you recognize a number of things. It helps you recognize recognize what time you do and don't have because we're always saying we don't have enough time. But sometimes we do have chunks of time in our lives that are not dedicated to something, but we will come to realize that when that time period comes around, we still don't do the things. And so I suggest that there are four other things that get in the way besides of not enough time. Four other things that can get in the way of us doing things that we need to do. And in this video, I go into detail, but it's pretty much much there's time, but there's also energy. So sometimes I have the time, but I don't have the mental or physical energy. There's also clarity, which means maybe I realize I have an hour of free time in my day, and that comes up. And I have the energy, but there's so many things on my to do list, and I have not organized and prioritize them. But I spend that whole time running around in circles and spinning and getting nothing done because I'm trying to decide what to tackle first. Then there's also discipline and motivation.
So we oftentimes are not motivated to do the things we need to do. And there's this quote that says, you will not always be motivated, therefore, you must be disciplined. And so that's where discipline comes into play. Discipline are the routines and plans that we have in place to still do the thing. So I may not be motivated to work out Monday, Wednesday, Friday, but I've put a plan in place to do that. And if I follow through on that plan, I will get the results that I want. Even if I wasn't really motivated on Wednesday to go, I have it as part I'm being disciplined and have it as part of my plan, so I go. So those are the five areas that we want to check-in on around why we're not getting certain things done. And, again, if you watch the stress management video, I go into all of that.
Next, let's get into things around nutrition and meals and cooking. So let's start with grocery shopping. I keep a running grocery list on my phone. You can also keep one on your refrigerator where as soon as I realize something's running low, I go to that list and I add it. Because what I know I will do is forget any and everything that I need when I go to the grocery store even if I want to like, even if I make a grocery list before I go. If I have to kind of be on the spot and make the list, I am guaranteed to forget something. So instead, I just keep this running list where I just add things and add things so that when I do go grocery shopping, I don't have to think about it. Everything I need is already on that list. So it's in my phone notes, but you could also do it on the refrigerator. Just keep in mind, you're gonna want to take the piece of paper with you or take a picture of, you know, your dry erase board on your refrigerator or whatever when you go. So I like to put it in my phone because then it's always there. That is a lifesaver for me. Like, I can't even tell you how I don't stress about what I need to get at the grocery store because I know there's a running list that keeps, that keeps it altogether for me. The other thing that I've been working on that I don't do as well just yet is keeping a list of, in quotes, go to meals. So those meals that I have in some way mastered or they're easy for me so that when I'm really not in the headspace or don't have the physical energy to, like, think up a meal or things like that, I'm like, oh, these are meals that I've always enjoyed, and I know how to make without, like, you know, taking out a recipe book and thinking too hard about it. And I sometimes have to remind myself that they exist. Like, you know, making, like, a a good, like, bolognese sauce first, for pasta. I love it. It's always fulfilling and satisfying, but I honestly don't remember that that's an option, oftentimes. So I have this list on my refrigerator of when I when I make a meal that I really enjoy and that I generally know how to make easily, I put it on that list so that I can look over there at at the refrigerator at times and say, oh, what are some ideas that I have? Because part of my issue as well is that I need variety in the food that I eat. I get bored very easily, so I don't like eating the same things over and over again.
So, I need reminders of, you know, meals that I can go to for for variety, but they're also convenient and easy for me, and they're enjoyable to eat. So any any of the meals on that list have to be meals that I thoroughly enjoy eating. Also, don't forget about grocery delivery. I was heavy into that through COVID and through initially moving to my current place. I now do no grocery delivery, but that has also been partially a delivered effort to just get outside more. But grocery delivery can be very convenient and very helpful for us getting the things into the house that we need. This also brings me to, like, meal prep kits like HelloFresh, or there's one that's actually cheaper, but it's also owned by HelloFresh. It was pretty much the same thing, and it's called EveryPlate.
And I'll put those links in the show notes. I do sorry. I do utilize this service, but kind of on, like, a monthly basis. I monthly basis. I don't get weekly meals or things like that financially. I don't want to do that. But, also, I don't always want to, you know, have these feel the pressure of having to cook these meals where the ingredients are are there. But I like the variety and the ease that these, meal prep, month, every five, maybe six weeks, I have, a meal delivered and or a couple of meals delivered, and that has been very helpful in, streamlining my cooking process.
What's also been fun about the meal delivery kits is that my oldest son, really enjoys cooking with me, like, following recipes and cooking with me. So it's also been helpful in creating some quality time as well as, teaching him some life skills. It's not that he can't help cook when I cook other meals, and we have done that here and there, but it is much easier when when we have this written out recipe that he reads and things like that. So these meals really help us do that. Next, this brings us into meal prep. And I don't do any, like, major formalized meal prepping. I don't, like, prep my lunches for seven days or anything like that.
For me, that's a little too exhausting, and I don't think I would stick with it. And, also, I mean, I have to have the storage containers and the space in the refrigerator and all of that sort of stuff. But I do some informal meal prepping in the way of recognizing where I struggle the most in keeping, you know, eating meal or fueling my body in a healthy way, meaning making sure I'm getting all my meals and snacks and things like that. And during the work week, lunchtime is the tricky thing. Now that I'm regularly working out, I have no choice but to eat breakfast in order to get through my workout. So that has kind of re the the whole, oh, I'm not eating breakfast thing has, like, resolved itself a bit, which side note on that, I used to consider myself a breakfast person, but the my coffee, like, tends to fill me up, except, of course, I end up being starving a little later into the morning. So I found myself not being motivated to eat breakfast, and then I, like, have to get, you know, my son to school and do all the and get ready for work and all those things. So I would just kind of like, oh, let me just, you know, eat something later. And, no, that's not that's not a good idea.
So that was an issue. But now that I'm working out regularly, which I'll get to, I'm automatically eating some form of breakfast because I need to in order to get through my workout. But lunch is kind of like a touch and go sort of thing. Sometimes I was doing it in between sessions. So one of the things that I have altered is my schedule so that I do have a firm cutoff for most days unless it's, like, an unexpected session or something like that, or a session I really need to fit in. I'm cutting off, around 2PM so that I have time to eat lunch before I pick up my son from school. So first of all, it's about me planning and scheduling that time to eat lunch. But the other issue was what am I what am I gonna eat for lunch? If I had to think too hard about it or if it was too complicated or or took too long, I would end up just kind of, like, grabbing whatever.
So I did identify some key go to lunches for myself so that if I, like, don't have leftovers from the night before that I want to eat, I can have one of these three things. And it's either salad, what I call super salad, which means I put a lot of good stuff on it. I'm not just saying a bunch of lettuce and, like, torturing myself. I put the things on it that I really love, or a rice bowl, which oftentimes is using meat leftover, meat that was cooked, you know, leftover meat that was cooked, like, the day before and then just heating up precooked rice that, you know, rice that I had already cooked. And then any cut up any vegetables, add some hummus or some sour cream, a nice dressing, and I have a delicious rice bowl. Or very recently, I started prepping stuffed peppers. So I will make the stuffing, the rice ground beef, seasonings, and all of that mixed up and cook that. And then I would put them in raw peppers, and then I would freeze the peppers. And so then I could just take the pepper out of the freezer and pop it in the oven and have it for lunch or even dinner. As we speak, I'm heating one up for dinner right now. And then I could throw some vegetables on the side, and then I have a meal. So those are three go to lunches for me that I'm able to easily prep or prepare. With salads, cutting up the toppings for the salad, like, the day before or so is very helpful to me because one thing is I get very lazy about all of the steps of making a salad. So it's just recognizing where your roadblocks are and doing things to address those. And so this is one of the ways that I'm helping myself make sure I get all of my meals.
Also, I've been wanting to make sure I get my proper amount of water intake, and I've identified that to be a certain amount. I have this, water bottle that has 24 ounces, so I pretty much need to drink three of those a day. And I drink an eight ounce glass of lemon water in the morning automatically. Like, I it's one of the like, the first thing I drink, I kinda chug it because I know that I'm having a cup of coffee and the caffeine, you know, dehydrates you. So I kinda make up I try to make up for that coffee with the eight ounces of water, which also just helps. Like, oftentimes, I wake up, up, you know, like, with my sinuses being dry and stuff like that. So having that water really helps. So with that, I since I've identified the amount of water I need to drink, I, have my water bottle and I've identified as three of them. But also on my busy, hectic day, I don't necessarily remember how many of the how how many of the is this my first one or my second one? Have I drink that? So I put, little hair ties around the bottle, at the bottom of the bottle. So I'll put three at the bottom of the bottle. And after I finish every time I finish the bottle, I move one hair tie up to the top. And that's not a new revolutionary idea. Plenty of people do that, but that's something that I very recently started doing. It's been very helpful to me. And I also think it's just more motivating to me to drink my water because I kind of see myself. You know? I'm like, oh, I wanna move that band up. But, also, this has a lot to do with me working out regularly now as well. So that's just, like, a a little tip that I've been doing to make sure I get enough water. And I've seen the benefits, of course. Like, my skin, looks a bit better. My eyes, I hadn't realized that they weren't well, I had realized they were not as white as I as they should be, but I hadn't really recognized the connection to drinking water. Because eyes, I'm someone who generally does drink a good amount of water. I keep a water bottle with me that I keep filled up all the time. But before formally tracking my water, I hadn't realized the impact just in the color of my eyes, and now I'm noticing they're brighter, they're whiter, all of that. I do have to pee a lot, but, hey. It's it just comes with the territory.
Back to the idea of meal prepping for my oldest son who's in soccer. Two days a week, we have soccer practice, and those can be kind of hectic for dinner and homework and all the evening routine stuff. So one of the things I do is I purchase, two cheese pizzas on Tuesdays, and then I individually freeze each piece so that I can dish it out for the next, like, two weeks for his, dinner either before or after soccer practice where I don't have to cook. I don't have to think. He's limited in some in the things that he likes to eat, so it's not like I can just make whatever I'm making all the time and and he'll that he'll really eat that. So I can just pull them out of the freezer and make them, and it has done wonders. It's made what I thought would be a bit stressful. The whole, like, how do we fit soccer practice into life, it's made it very unstressful. Next, we have some parenting things that I do or things in regards to parenting and the kids.
So schedules. I I'm big on checklist and typing things up just to remember things or not have to keep everything in my head. But, also, it's great at being able to give my my older son visual cues and information to help keep him focused and organized as well. So I've typed up, like, a morning routine and an after school routine for him so that he's clear on what the process is. Like, okay. You know, in the morning, you know, wake up and get dressed and brush your teeth, eat breakfast, all that sort of stuff. And after school, you know, it's getting your snack and, doing your homework and those sort of things. So we don't necessarily, like, have that posted up and where he, like, looks at it each day or anything like that. But whenever there's maybe a change to our routine, I'll type one up so that we can all be clear because, you know, there might be times where he pushes against that. And I'm like, okay. But this is this is the routine. This is where it always is. And, also, sometimes, it can help motivate him to follow through on the routine because he gets to check off the things that he's done. So type sometimes typing up the morning routine, the after school routine. I did one when we started soccer because that changed our schedule a bit in the evenings. So this is what we're gonna do first, and this is what we're gonna do after soccer and all that sort of stuff. That's very helpful for both of us. It keeps both of us organized. We're also now doing for him, which is essentially a chore chart, but, actually, we've made it I call it his time sheet because he asked me one day what can kids do to make money before they're old enough to have jobs. And I was like, we call them chores.
And so his one chore right now is to make up his bed each day in the morning, and then he checks it off on the chart, and he gets 25¢ for every day that he makes up his bed. And at the end of the week, he gets his, in quotes, paycheck. And then we talk about what portion of that does he want to put into savings and what portion does he want to keep for spending. And so it's taken the chore chart and made it way more motivational and more beneficial to just learning life skills, learning about work and what we you know, we get paid when we work and don't get paid when we don't. And we're we're talking about the idea of a of a promotion of adding another chore to the chart once he's mastered this current chore. So this has been very, very beneficial and helpful, and I don't have to fight him to make his bed.
So, it's very helpful to think about what are the the life skills I want him to learn that we can start instituting as chores and pretty much his job. And it helps him make money, but also learn the concept of saving and spending money.
[00:23:08] Unknown:
Do you like what you're hearing? Are you picking up what I'm putting down? Want to help the pod? If so, please know it's greatly appreciated, and I welcome you to support the Bitter to Better podcast however you can. Might I suggest a few options? First, please rate and review the show on Spotify, Apple Podcast, or whatever platform you choose. Next, how about sending this podcast to one friend who you know could use it? This way, she can't say you've never given her anything. If you're really riding with me, talk about the show on social media and tag me. I'm at tracy panok on Instagram. And lastly, if you ever use any products or services I mentioned in the pod, can you tell them Tracey Panach from the Bitter to Better podcast sent you?
Please, and thank you.
[00:24:00] Unknown:
I make sure the boys have a calendar in their bedroom so that things that are important to them are written on it. So soccer practice, soccer game, play dates, when there's no school, certain, loved ones, birthdays, any event that we're going going to go to that they're gonna be a part of, that's all written on their calendar where they can see it. And and, of course, it's helping to build skills around, you know, knowing the days of the weeks and, you know, months and all of that sort of stuff. It starts, you know, the process of looking at organizing and scheduling and things like that.
Something that I'm wanting to start for myself and the kids is, like, picking a day, so probably Sundays, that is, like, hygiene, self care stuff. So or grooming. That's what it is. Grooming. So making sure I clip their nails and clean their ears and things like that because those are things that easily go by the wayside for me at times. And I'm like, oh my gosh. How long has it been since your nails have been clipped? And, you know, they have, like, claws and stuff like that. So I'm like, if every Sunday, I make sure sure to just do a check of fingernails and toenails. Okay. We're all set. And ears. Okay. We're all set. That's something that I'm wanting to start. I realized it will help me not have this frantic, like, oh, it's been so long since I've done these things. So that's something that I'm starting to institute. And as I say this, I need to actually write it on my calendar on Sundays for at least the next couple of months until it becomes routine.
Things around kids' recreation has been important for me because I'm like, okay. I want to make sure they're getting, good socialization and physical activity, and this has come up more so for my older son at this time. And so come up more for my younger son as he gets older. But, so I focused on, you know, play dates and just kind of reaching out with a certain regularity to other parents to get, you know, kids together. There's also back to my list, I created this list of after school activities that me and my son can do as part of, like, helping him decompress from the day and stuff like that, but also giving him reasonable options of things for us to do. Like, we can't always, you know, go out and do something big after school or things like that. So I have a list though of possibilities. So it says, like, board games, Pokemon battle, hide and seek.
I I don't know. There are a bunch of other things on there. At one point, before he started soccer, we would, like, kick the soccer ball around in the house a bit. Like but these things where it's like, after he gets home from school, we can engage in them together. And sometimes I have sessions after he gets back from after he gets home from school, so stuff I can do in between getting home and starting my sessions. So that has helped to make sure there's more of a built in quality time between us because there are times where I'm so hunkered down in work that, like, I'll get him home, get him set up with his snacks, stuff like that, and then kind of go and get into my work. And I've had to or I've wanted to be more mindful about giving him that quality time if he wants it after school. Sometimes he's fine to do his own thing, but other times he wants us to join in something together. So I'll tell him, hey. Pick something off the list that you wanna do today. That's been helpful just to make sure I get that time in there for the both of us. So then there's sleeping, you know, kids and sleeping, the dreaded kids and sleep.
So on the weekends, that's when I have my three year old. So first of all, he's three. So what is sleep, really? And so I realized that I saved myself a lot of stress by allowing my older son to sleep in the living room on the trundle bed that pulls out from under the sofa on the weekends when his brother is here because, I was concerned about so so my three year old goes down to bed a little bit earlier than my eight year old. And so then when it was time to I would put my three year old to bed, and then when it's time for the eight year old to go to bed, they share they share a room. They have bunk beds. So, of course, like, then I was concerned about, like, waking up the three year old. Now granted, I started this, like, a good year or so ago. So they were younger, and I think, you know, I think now my three three year old sleeps a little more soundly.
So I don't think I'm as concerned now about the possibility of waking him up, but it's just become a routine now. And my oldest really likes it because because it's the weekend, I'll I allow him to, watch TV longer, out in the living room, you know, and it kinda becomes a fun night for him. But what I'm saying here is that wasn't my original plan. That's not what I wanted things to be. I was like, they have a bunk bed. They can sleep in the room together, all that wonderful stuff. But then I realized to save it was it was either try to stick to that plan and have the stress of potentially waking up my youngest and then the drama that comes from waking up a toddler, or to do this and kind of make it work for us. And so that's one of the things that I've done to save my sanity around kids and sleeping is the oldest gets to sleep out in a living room and, while his younger brother sleeps in the bedroom on weekends.
Also, I keep a couple of changes of pajamas in my bedroom so that if in the middle of the night, my oldest like, sometimes he might wet the bed on occasion. Like, if he needs to change his pajamas, he doesn't have to go in their bedroom to do it, again, not wake up his brother, and he could just come in my room and do it. So that was a a system I put into place once I realized that, like, I had concerns about him going into the bedroom in the middle of the night and waking up his brother as he gathered clothes and stuff like that. So I keep a, I make a point to keep a change of pajamas in my room. And then more recently, my youngest, just because he does wake in the middle of the night about twice. The first time he wakes up, typically, he goes back down pretty easily if I walk him back to his room and I lay there with him. The second time can be touch or go, and it can result in him being up for another couple of hours and demanding breakfast at, like, five in the morning, or three in the morning, stuff like that.
So now so I tried in the past, like, letting him come into my bed, but he kinda saw my bed as, like, playtime. He would never go to sleep in my bed. But recently, the couple of times I've tried it, he has managed to fall asleep in my bed. So my sanity saving thing just being, you know, shifting to allowing him to come in my room to go to sleep. Again, that's obviously not revolutionary. Children since the dawn of time, have been sleeping in their parents' beds. And we many of us know that it's one of the easiest ways to get them back to sleep. So that is what I've been doing around sleeping arrangements in order to save my sanity.
For childcare, care, I have some besides, like, using, like, my mom when she's available and things like that and each of my son's fathers, you know, at times when they're with their dads. And in terms of paid child care, I use the Bambino app. In the past, I I have used care.com to find a a part time nanny when I needed one. And there's also, like, the Facebook, groups for searching for child care. But I really like Bambino because it allows you to find as needed, you know, short notice child care. And then when I make connections with some of the child care provider providers on there, they become regulars who I reach out to when I, you know, wanna do a date night or, have something, you know, come up that, you know, isn't planned out far in advance. But also when there are things that are planned out far in advance, it's been a great app for me, in terms of finding some quality people.
So I really, recommend looking into that app. And, again, it'll be in the show notes. Also, you know, having, like, an emergency contact list on your on your refrigerator so that anyone who is caring for your kids has all the numbers and all the things. Obviously, if the kids have any allergies, food to stay away from, stuff like that. But who are the people to contact if they can't reach you? You know, have your address on that paper, have all those things there in case they ever need to call emergency services, things like that. I mean, obviously, that's like a a basic, you know, a one zero one type of thing, but, it's something to definitely make note of and to update it over time if needed. So these are things that have helped, you know, again, save my sanity a bit, give me a more sense of give me more sense of security, and it's helpful for, you know, being organized when I have a, childcare provider, come into the home to watch the kids. And then just a couple of random hacks.
Obviously, like, going from having an infant where you would always have, like, a baby bag, a diaper bag, I don't carry that around anymore, but I do need things like pull ups, wipes, and maybe little baggies, little plastic baggies. So I make a point to keep those things in my car. The wipes are just always useful for, you know, grubby little hands and all of that. And then while my oldest was in soccer, we would bring a bag with, like, some of the soccer stuff, and I realized it made sense for me to keep a scarf and a blanket and maybe even gloves in there for myself because during the earlier part of the season, it was freezing out there. And so, just already having those things packed in his bag was just it really streamlined that in that situation for me and allowed me to be more comfortable at these practices and games. And I didn't have to think or remember to bring those things with me because they were already in the bag. Also, one of the big things I do is I pre, I prep my my kids' outfits, particularly my oldest son. So, like, for the school week, I hang the shirt and pants or shirt and shorts on a hanger for the week, so that we don't have to think about it. He just pulls them off the hanger and gets dressed. I'm not thinking about it every night or anything like that. So when I do laundry, I kind of just already put the outfits together and hang them on the hangers, and I can have them, like, laid out for, like, two weeks at a time.
And that is hugely his his outfits together. Also, something that I recently started doing is my three year old, he he takes showers. And, because to get him to sleep, I have to stay in the room with him, lay down with him. I tend to fall asleep when I'm putting him to sleep, which means that when I wake up, it could be, like, 10:00 at night, and I will find myself way too tired and exhausted to, like, wash my teeth wash my face, brush my teeth, stuff like that. And so I came to realize I have to to do those things before I lay down before I put him down to bed. So one of the ways that has been easy for me to do that is while he's showering, I will just, like, brush my teeth, in the bathroom, wash my face and stuff while he's there. And that's something that, like, it's so simple, but I just wasn't doing. And it was resulting in me, like, not completing my, like, hygiene process, some nights, like, when he was here because I would wake up at some random time of night in his room and just go straight to my bed because I was exhausted. And so the idea of washing my face and brushing my teeth was just not a thing that I would do. So this has, been a helpful, very small shift, to my routine.
So a huge sanity saver for me is having good sleep hygiene. Sleep hygiene are the routines and habits that we have around our sleep to help us the things we do to, get good quality sleep. And so that can be things that you do throughout the day such as making but, also, but, it's definitely important about what you do right before bed. I say an hour before bedtime. You call that I call that shutdown time. And I say, you know, it's best to only be engaging in sleep inducing activities. So things that are going to help bring you down physically, mentally, and start to prepare for rest. And so sleep hygiene is very important to me. I'm very mindful about trying to have only one cup of coffee, though there are plenty of times where I have more than that.
And those are the nights where I, reap the repercussions of that. But, generally, having one cup of coffee, you know, before 2PM sort of thing, but, also, I try to go into no screen time an hour before bed. I, have the sleep function on my phone so that my phone automatically at 9PM so I set it for 9PM, which is an hour before my intended 10:10PM bedtime, and, the phone stops notifications and automatically goes into that function and is hugely helpful for keeping me off my phone right before bed because I tend to forget about it when notifications aren't coming through. And so I'm just really about it when notifications aren't coming through. And so I'm just really thoughtful about what I'm doing an hour before bed, to help prepare me for rest.
And the reason why good sleep is important is because I always say nothing is better with poor sleep. You're less patient. You're less focused. It's harder for you to deal with any of your life stressors when you have poor sleep or when you're starving, you know, and you're hangry. But these very basic areas of self care are important, and sleep is, like, a primary one. It starts with sleep. Everything that you do, is impacted by how well you're sleeping. So it's just very important to have good sleep hygiene and to get good quality sleep. So with exercise, this recently changed for me because a few weeks ago, I joined a, like, circuit training gym.
And so I've been going to the gym, in the mornings anywhere from three to five five days a week. So it's like, you know, half hour intense workouts. So that has put me on a very specific workout schedule. But before that, my general go to for workouts was hula hooping, using the supernatural app on my Oculus headset and walks. And with that, I also realized I had to, like, find ways to, like, fit it in particularly when my youngest son was here. So I would like when it came to, like, toning exercises, like crunches and squats and stuff like that, there would be days where I would just kinda fit those things in in increments just to get them in. So that's kind of the sanity saving thing there for me where it's like, in order to not completely abandon working out, I would decide that, okay. Well, I'll get the crunches in here and the squats in here and things like that. Right now, that's not an issue because I'm going to these classes. But back to my original point at the beginning of this episode about, like, delegating things and stuff like that, like, I've delegated my my planning and scheduling for workouts. I've delegated it to this program, this formal program where I show up at certain times for the classes. So then I get my workout done, and I don't have to maneuver in all these different ways around getting my workout in. I have to say it's been wonderful. Like, I'm actually seeing positive results because I'm being consistent, and I'm being consistent because I'm not you know, I'm able to go to these classes, you know, when I have child free time and, you know you know, one sends at school and the other's with his dad, things like that. But what I'm getting at is I'm not having to figure out where I'm gonna fit this in. And I know that's one of the biggest, hardest things for a lot of people, a lot of parents, a lot of moms, a lot of single moms to figure out where you get the workout situation in. And for me, before I joined this gym, I did purposely do my workouts at home because there was that piece too where I just I'm not I'm not a consistent enough person with the gym for it to be worth me to, you know, to pay that and then try to figure out how I was gonna get out of the house, you know, and get that and go to the gym consistently knowing that, you know, I needed childcare or things like that. Where with this gym, there are these specific classes at specific times where it's like when, you know, the kids are in school. So great. I know I have to show up if I'm going to get my workout in because it's being led by a coach rather than me just showing up on my own. And so this has been very helpful to me, and I actually enjoy the workouts more than I thought I would. And I'm, you know, really seeing results.
Some sanity savers around my own personal care have been, for instance, figuring out what I wanna do with my hair because I hate doing my hair. It's time consume consuming, energy consuming, and I'm not particularly skilled at it. So with my natural hair, it's like doing wash and goes and twist outs and all these sort of things. And so I recently came up with, like, a a routine and system. I am I am choosing to get my hair braided. So pretty much I keep my braids in for about eight weeks and then take it out for two to four weeks and then put them back in. So I've become more consistent with that so that I don't have to think about what I'm doing with my hair, like, every single week. The weeks where I don't have the braids in, I've decided I think that I'll be doing like, getting silk press, so that my hair is still styled for a couple of weeks, and then I'll do, like, a wash and go for, like, the rest of the weeks.
But that has definitely helped me save time and energy, and so having this routine around my hair has been helpful. I get wax I have waxing appointments, like, monthly and very consistently, and I book the next session while I'm at the that current one. So that is good and consistent. My nails, I kinda do as needed, so I'll polish them at home. But if I'm going away or want a certain type of, like, manicure, I'll, go get them done professionally. And then there are the random life hacks that I'll do. If I know there's something particular that that I need to make sure I do in the morning or walk out of the house within the morning, I'm so good for putting something right in the middle of my, like, dining room table and then leaving it. So I'll put, like, a post it on the door with that with that reminder just so I can see it as I'm walking out of the door. And, also, like, keeping, a spare key, like, a, spare house key, like, with my mom or in certain locations so that just in case, I've been locked in my place once and had the neighbor help me get in. So, you know, having those sort of things in place in life.
So there, on that note, these are just some of the things that have, that I've noticed I do over these months I've been putting together this list. I'm sure there are more things, and I'm sure there will will be more things. But these are things that I realized, oh, yeah. These things do make a positive difference in your life, and they make it easier for you to live. And if you weren't doing these things, what would be different? And I definite definitely would be less productive, more tired, you know, more frazzled.
So I really encourage you to find your sanity saving systems, and I hope some of these are helpful to you and that maybe you're able to institute some of them. But really it's trial and error and noticing starting with noticing the areas where you are experiencing more stress or seeing a lot of road bumps. You know? Is it stressful to get the the groceries in the house or do cooking or, you know, your your exercise or how you eat or keeping your home clean or organized or things like that? Noticing where those areas are and then asking yourself what what would make it different, what would be, a beneficial, thing to a a beneficial routine to create or delegating it to someone or some service in some way. And just asking yourself these questions can go a long way in you developing the sanity saving systems for yourself.
[00:43:36] Unknown:
Hey. By the way, I can be found in other places besides this podcast. Just search my name on YouTube, and you'll find my channel. Subscribe for periodic how to videos for dealing with breakups and mastering dating. That's right. I said mastering dating. It's a skill, ladies. I can also be found on Instagram at tracy panach. And lastly, I most encourage you to join my email list where you get breakup and dating support delivered to your inbox in addition to getting the most exclusive access to my programs and coaching services. My email list subscribers are the first to know when my coaching programs launch and the only people to get discounts when they're offered. As always, I'm glad we got into it and looking forward to next time.
Introduction to Sanity Saving Systems
Streamlining and Delegating Tasks
Managing Chores and To-Do Lists
Effective Scheduling and Planning
Grocery Shopping and Meal Planning
Lunch and Meal Prep Strategies
Parenting Hacks and Routines
Childcare and Emergency Preparedness
Sleep Hygiene and Exercise Routines
Personal Care and Life Hacks
