19 June 2023
Ep. 11: What I Do When I'm Feeling Blue...And Maybe You Should Too - S1E11
In this episode I share things I do when I'm feeling down. Dating, coparenting, dealing with breakups or just managing life can sometimes get us down so we all need things that help us lift our spirits and deal with the blues.
Ep. 7: Tiny Things That Spark Joy
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The Magic by Rhonda Byrne
The Secret
[00:00:06]
Unknown:
Hey, I'm Tracy Pinnock and welcome to the Bitter to Better podcast, where I talk all things love and life that help women live better after breakups. I'm glad you're here, and let's get into it.
[00:00:24] Unknown:
Hey. Hey. Welcome to another episode of the Bitter to Better podcast brought to you by children playing basketball in the background, sitting in the car while Tristan plays at the park, at least until he comes to get me to kick the soccer ball around with him. I want to talk today about how I deal with the blues. So, like, you know, when I'm just a bit down, maybe from a dating situation, a disappointing co parenting situation, a a parenting situation, a breakup situation. You know? So not necessarily when I'm completely, like, you know, down in the dumps, depressed sort of thing, but just kind of a bit blue, a bit annoyed or sad or frustrated. I wanted to talk a bit about things that help me to get through the blues.
So first, you really wanna check-in on what I call the five basic areas of self care. That's sleeping, eating, exercising, socializing, and boundary setting. Because these are basic things that people need in order to survive and thrive. And so if any of these things are kind of out of whack for you, then it makes anything you're dealing with more difficult. So these are the first things that I target with people when I'm helping them work on stress management, anxiety management, depression, things like that, because nothing is better with poor sleep. And when you're hangry, everything is worse. And when you feel alone and isolated, that doesn't help. And when you aren't setting boundaries and you have too much on your plate, then you're stressed out and annoyed.
And when let's see. What's the last one that I missed? Body movement. When you're not moving your body and you're achy and sore and have low energy, then it makes everything you have to do harder. So if you are feeling down, frustrated, annoyed, I want you to ask yourself about your sleep. Have you been getting good sleep? Have you been getting enough hours of sleep? So ideally, at least eight hours per night. Has your sleep quality been good? Have you had pretty restful sleep and generally slept through the night? Or even if you wake up in the middle of the night, have you been able to easily go back to sleep? Things like that. If the answer is no, then you definitely want to work on your sleep hygiene, which are the habits and routines that we have around sleep, just like you have oral hygiene or bodily hygiene. It's the routines that you do to keep your teeth clean and your body clean, things like that. So you wanna keep your sleep clean.
So what we do just before going to sleep really impacts our ability to fall asleep and the quality of our sleep. I actually am considering doing a full podcast episode on the five basic areas of self care. So I'm not going to go into full detail here on the sleep thing other than to say that you want to be going to bed at a reasonable time in order to get at least eight hours of sleep before you to wake up in the morning, and you want to, try to engage in, soothing, sleep inducing task before bed and not stressful things like working or having really, I don't know, having arguments with people before bed. And we know that screen time, one of the number one culprits to poor sleep, none of that. So scrolling on your phone in bed. I know. I know. You're probably listening to this right now in bed, which is actually fine. Listening to something, not a problem. But being on the gram and scrolling and scrolling and all that good stuff, watching TV, no. But, again, I will save that I will save my speech and my lecture on that for the, basic areas of self care episode.
Just generally speaking, if you are feeling down, then you want to make sure you're getting decent sleep. Otherwise, you are going to feel more stressed, anxious, sad, annoyed, frustrated if you're not getting the type of sleep that you need to get. Next is appetite and eating. So checking in with yourself, are you concerned about overeating, undereating, the types of foods you're eating? Are they foods that help give you energy and nutrients, or are they foods that make you feel sluggish that, you know, they're too heavy or they just don't work well with your digestive system, things like that. So you're just wanting to be aware of what you're putting in your body and that it's the type of food that makes you feel good and feel energized. And you wanna make sure that you're eating enough of it and that you are not under nourishing yourself in any way.
So making sure you're eating enough meals. You're eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and healthy snacks in between. We then have exercise or what I just like to refer to as body movement. Moving your body in ways that serve you. Walking, stretching, yoga, Pilates, swimming, cardio, Zumba, kickboxing. I personally prefer hula hooping and doing my Supernatural app on my Oculus headset. Those are my favorite forms of exercise. I guess swimming would be as well. That's just not something that I get the opportunity to do very often. And also walking. I love walks out in, you know, nice weather. So identifying the things that help you feel good when it comes to body movement and making sure you're engaging in those with some consistency.
I mean, we know there's so many benefits to exercise. There's the obvious physical health benefits for your heart, for weight, for your muscles, but there the mental health benefits are huge as well, and it's very, very beneficial for you to make sure your body is is being moved. You know, when we're stagnant, we tend to have more aches and pains. We lose flexibility, all of these things that don't make us feel good. So making sure you are moving your body around in ways that serve you. Next on the list is socializing. So So mainly making healthy social connections. So this doesn't have to be out partying. It's about feeling like you're connected with some key people in your life to know that you aren't alone, to not feel isolated, to share your thoughts and concerns, to feel connected to the world.
If you feel totally isolated or if you feel like there's a lot of drama and chaos in your social interactions, these things are going to stress you out. They're not going to make you feel good. They're not gonna make you feel supported and And so checking in with yourself to ensure that you have made some social connections, some helpful social connections recently, that is a key part of dealing with the blues. Lastly, in basic areas of self care, we have boundary setting. These are the things we're saying yes and no to and the things that we're putting on our plate. So you wanna ask yourself how you are with setting boundaries in your life with people and things. Do you say yes too often when you really shouldn't or don't want to or you realize it's not to your benefit? Are you putting too much on your plate trying to juggle it all?
If the answer is yes, then you definitely want to set set some better boundaries with people and things in your life. This can be personally at home. This can be professionally at work. This can be with your kids. This can be with your friends. This can be with anyone and anything. You just want to assess for yourself what feels appropriate. And if you realize that you're just constantly overwhelmed or frustrated or annoyed or feel obligated or resentful towards people because you are yes, yes, yes ing all the time, then you are going to want to, say no a bit more often.
And like I said, I'll go into more details about these things in the, basic self care episode. But just know that if you're dealing with the blues or feeling down, then having all of these obligations going on for yourself that you're really not motivated for or just overwhelmed by, that's not gonna help you with with dealing with the blues. So you want to, do some better boundary setting if you recognize that you're taking on too much. Alright. So after checking in with yourself about basic areas of self care, you're going to want to lean into the things that bring you joy. And in order to do that, you first have to identify things that bring you joy.
Listen to episode seven, which is tiny things that spark joy. I talk about tiny things that spark joy for me, and it's important for us all to know what these things are for ourselves because then we can actually try to do them. So the first thing is to kind of make a tiny joys list. Like, really ask yourself, what are little things that I can do in a day or a week's time that make me feel good? So I'm talking about things like taking naps, if naps are your thing. I like to hula hoop. I like to dance. I constantly play music. I like to be out in the sunshine. I like to walk. I like to be amongst trees and water. You know, do you like to be with your pets? Do you like to play with your kids? Do you like to watch a TV show? Do you like to stretch? Do you like to bake? I can go on and on and on here. But the important thing is that you know what these things are for yourself so that you can then make plans to actually do them. So I want you to start with identifying the tiny things that bring you joy because these are the things that you do when you're feeling down. And generally speaking, they're low cost, easy to access type of things so that you don't have the roadblocks of cost or time or energy or logistics to get in your way of doing these things. Because, again, this is just, like, to move you through feeling a bit down or disappointed.
Once you've identified these tiny things that bring you joy, I want you you to actually do them. And if you identify if you recognize or if you realize that you're having trouble doing those things, then you want to identify the roadblocks. You want to understand what's getting in your way of being able to just put on some music and dance if that's something you like or to, you know, bake. Right? So then that's when we talk about schedules and all that sort of stuff, but also that boundary setting piece that I talked about, this is key. Because if you are putting too much on your plate, you may not have enough space for the tiny things that bring you joy. So then how do you expect to deal with sadness? You know? And how do you expect to deal with disappointment or anxiety? Like, these times when you have inevitable human emotions due to things happening in your life. So, you know, if, yeah, if you're having trouble with a dating situation or a relationship or a breakup or co parent or, you know, any of that sort of stuff, you know, these things, you know, might be, you know, a regular part of your life. If you're having struggles in these areas and you are feeling down because of them, you need ways to balance that out. And, ultimately, that's what self care is. Self self care is what balances out the stressors in our lives. So you have to make time for it. So if you identify these tiny things that bring you joy and you are trying to do them in order to deal with the blues, but you're finding yourself not doing it for whatever reason, you want to ask yourself what's getting in my way and then address those things just to make a little space. Like, I'm feeling really down right now. You know what? I wanna just go take a walk outside.
You know, the weather is nice. I'm gonna go take a walk. I'm gonna put headphones in and listen to a podcast or listen to music or listen to an audiobook while I go take a walk. I wanna go sit by the pond. Or, hey. I wanna call up a friend and chat with them or ask them to go out, you know, to do something or ask them to take a walk with me. I'm gonna color. I'm gonna draw. I'm gonna sketch. I'm gonna do some things that help distract me in from this exact moment where I'm just trying to soothe myself through this, you know, down moment that I'm having.
What I'm getting at is being very deliberate about engaging in joy inducing activities and recognizing that a lot of these activities can be small, simple, easy things, and they don't have to be the bigger, more extravagant things. Because maybe you love massages, but that's not always a feasible thing for you. Or you love traveling, and that's not always a feasible thing for you. Or you love going out to a big event, but that's not always feasible. There are small things you can be doing to help ride the waves of sadness and things like that.
[00:13:24] Unknown:
Do you like what you're hearing? Are you picking up what I'm putting down? Want to help the pod? If so, please know it's greatly appreciated, and I welcome you to support the Bitter to Better podcast however you can. Might I suggest a few options? First, please rate and review the show on Spotify, Apple Podcast, or whatever platform you choose. Next, how about sending this podcast to one friend who you know could use it? This way, she can't say you've never given her anything. If you're really riding with me, talk about the show on social media and tag me. I'm at tracy panok on Instagram. And lastly, if you ever use any products or services I mentioned in the pod, can you tell them Tracy panok from the Bitter to Better podcast sent you?
Please and thank you.
[00:14:17] Unknown:
Outside of things that bring you joy, I think there are also just some emotional, there's some emotional work you can do to help to deal with the blues. One of them is definitely journaling and just writing about what you're feeling. Literally writing about what you're experiencing it so that you can get it off your chest. And when I say journaling, actually, it doesn't have to just be a written journal. You can record a video of yourself. You can record a voice note of yourself, but getting your story and your perspective out in some way. But also emotional identification.
So there's this exercise that I always talk about where you sit down and you ask yourself, what am I feeling? And you kind of tap into the different emotions that may be going on for you. So there might be sadness, anger, disappointment. And then you identify why you're feeling each feeling. So why am I feeling sadness right now? What is this about? Why am I feeling anger? Why am I feeling disappointment? And then you identify tasks that helps you do do that emotion. So some of those tasks may be some of the tasks that bring you joy that I just talked about, but there might be other things that distract you and, you know, maybe, you know, work is something you enjoy and it's a good distraction for you, so you might put that as a distraction from, you know, disappointment. It's really just taking some time to check-in with yourself and actually understand what you're feeling, understand why you're feeling it, and then also understand things that help you helps you do through that feeling or distract you from that feeling for a period of time. So this is another part of kind of dealing with the and and moving through feeling down.
You have the things that bring you so, really, I guess, if we're gonna recap, you have the basic self care areas, the things that you need just to survive as a human. Then you have the things that bring you joy. Then you have any other task that help to distract you or move you through any particular emotion. Okay. So I figured I would share an example of an ideal day for me when trying to deal with the blues. So kind of a routine that I might do when I'm just trying to help myself feel a little better. It would start with waking up in the morning. I'm big on showing gratitude, so I try to say thank you before I get out of my bed every morning. And if I can't think of anything specific to say thank you for, I mean, because there's always something, I will at least say thank you for the ability to be alive, to experience this day.
So I try to say my thank yous before I get out of bed. I intentionally let's say it's a weekday. I intentionally get up an hour before I need to wake my oldest son for school. So that for me is about 05:45 in the morning that I would get up and coffee. Like, that's a very exciting part of my day. So I look forward to that. That definitely lifts my spirits. And then just having that quiet time, that hour to myself, I relish that. I might look out my window towards the backyard onto the pond where I might see swans and ducks and take some time to just meditate on that. I oftentimes like to put in my headphones and listen to music or listen to a law of attraction video on YouTube to get some morning inspiration.
If it's one of the periods during the year where I am doing the magic, it's a book called The Magic by the same author who wrote The Secret. And The Secret was a very popular law of law of attraction things. And there's also a documentary or a movie about The Secret. So, if it's one of the times where I'm doing The Secret then I'm sorry. The magic, then I will spend that time also doing that day's practice. It's kind of like a devotional pretty much, or the equivalent of what a devotional would be for some people. So after having, like, my quiet time in doing that, I would start the day, which means getting my son up and doing all the prepping for school stuff.
And then upon getting him off to school, I usually have a little bit of time before I need to start my work work sessions. So that, is when I would get breakfast. And if if I'm feeling particularly blue, maybe I want to have something particularly tasty for breakfast. So something that I'm looking forward to that morning, then I would, you know, lean into eating something really, really tasty. And then work would start. And work serves a bit of a purpose when I'm dealing with the blues, which is to have a bit of a distraction. But probably if I'm feeling down, it completely depends on how I'm feeling, but I may not really want a long full workday. And I'm not saying that I have any control over that on that particular day. So if I have a long full workday, then that's just what it is. But work does serve some purpose in distracting me a little bit if I'm feeling down.
And then in an ideal day, I have some time in between sessions in which I might listen to some music. Or if it's a really nice day outside, I'll go for a walk. I definitely want to, at some point during that day, move my body in a way that I find enjoyable. So for me, that's going to be hula hooping, doing my supernatural app, or taking a walk. So I'm gonna wanna fit that one of those things in in that day because those things really do help me feel better once once I'm doing them. I mean, it's guaranteed that I feel at least a bit better after I'm done. So maybe I'll take a walk in between sessions, and then there comes a time where I need to pick my son up from school.
So, and also lunchtime. So, again, maybe I try to eat something particularly tasty. Maybe I order something for lunch that day, just to kind of lift my spirits a bit. And then I would get him from school, and depending on what type of work day I have, if I have, a good amount of time after picking him up from school before I have to have my next session, we might do something like go to the playground or go to the library. These are things that both he and I enjoy, so I would lean into something like that. And then maybe, work a little bit more. And then at the very end of the evening, after putting my son to bed, for me, a warm shower is very relaxing, so I would very much look forward to that.
If I haven't done some walking hula hooping earlier in the day, then I would do, like, maybe a supernatural workout or hula hoop for the evening, and then I would take a shower. And then after my shower, if I'm not just really tired and wanna pass out, then doing something like playing a little online poker, because that's a hobby that I've recently gotten into, and or reading right before bed. These would be things that this would be a typical day for me if I know that I'm feeling a bit down. These are very specific key things that I would make sure to have in my day. I do my gratitude practice in the morning. I have some quiet time in the morning. I have my coffee. Maybe I have a second coffee during the day.
I go out for a walk or I hula hoop or I do Supernatural. I make sure I have a warm shower. I listen to music at some point during the day. It's there's it's a rare day for me to not listen to music at some point during the day. And I might play some poker or do some reading, one of my, like, hobbies that I enjoy. I actually might record a podcast episode. That also helps me a lot because I feel productive, and I feel like I may be do doing something that's helpful to people. But it also is a bit of a kind of cathartic process for me to talk about some things. So this is just kind of a quick snapshot of of what a routine would be for me when it comes to trying to just help myself myself feel a little bit better on a day where I'm feeling a bit down.
So to recap, when you're dealing with the blues, I recommend that you check-in on your five basic areas of self care, sleeping, eating, exercising, socializing, and boundary setting. Make sure those are in a good place. Then you move on to identifying things that bring you a sense of joy and actually do those things. And also do some emotional identification and just some emotional exploration by journaling in various forms and identifying your emotions. Okay. That's all I have for today. I will talk to you next week.
[00:23:14] Unknown:
Hey. By the way, I can be found in other places besides this podcast. Just search my name on YouTube and you'll find my channel. Subscribe for periodic how to videos for dealing with breakups and mastering dating. That's right. I said mastering dating. It's a skill, ladies. I can also be found on Instagram at tracy panach. And lastly, I most encourage you to join my email list where you get breakup and dating support delivered to your inbox in addition to getting the most exclusive access to my programs and coaching services. My email list subscribers are the first to know when my coaching programs launch and the only people to get discounts when they're offered.
As always, I'm glad we got into it and looking forward to next time.
Hey, I'm Tracy Pinnock and welcome to the Bitter to Better podcast, where I talk all things love and life that help women live better after breakups. I'm glad you're here, and let's get into it.
[00:00:24] Unknown:
Hey. Hey. Welcome to another episode of the Bitter to Better podcast brought to you by children playing basketball in the background, sitting in the car while Tristan plays at the park, at least until he comes to get me to kick the soccer ball around with him. I want to talk today about how I deal with the blues. So, like, you know, when I'm just a bit down, maybe from a dating situation, a disappointing co parenting situation, a a parenting situation, a breakup situation. You know? So not necessarily when I'm completely, like, you know, down in the dumps, depressed sort of thing, but just kind of a bit blue, a bit annoyed or sad or frustrated. I wanted to talk a bit about things that help me to get through the blues.
So first, you really wanna check-in on what I call the five basic areas of self care. That's sleeping, eating, exercising, socializing, and boundary setting. Because these are basic things that people need in order to survive and thrive. And so if any of these things are kind of out of whack for you, then it makes anything you're dealing with more difficult. So these are the first things that I target with people when I'm helping them work on stress management, anxiety management, depression, things like that, because nothing is better with poor sleep. And when you're hangry, everything is worse. And when you feel alone and isolated, that doesn't help. And when you aren't setting boundaries and you have too much on your plate, then you're stressed out and annoyed.
And when let's see. What's the last one that I missed? Body movement. When you're not moving your body and you're achy and sore and have low energy, then it makes everything you have to do harder. So if you are feeling down, frustrated, annoyed, I want you to ask yourself about your sleep. Have you been getting good sleep? Have you been getting enough hours of sleep? So ideally, at least eight hours per night. Has your sleep quality been good? Have you had pretty restful sleep and generally slept through the night? Or even if you wake up in the middle of the night, have you been able to easily go back to sleep? Things like that. If the answer is no, then you definitely want to work on your sleep hygiene, which are the habits and routines that we have around sleep, just like you have oral hygiene or bodily hygiene. It's the routines that you do to keep your teeth clean and your body clean, things like that. So you wanna keep your sleep clean.
So what we do just before going to sleep really impacts our ability to fall asleep and the quality of our sleep. I actually am considering doing a full podcast episode on the five basic areas of self care. So I'm not going to go into full detail here on the sleep thing other than to say that you want to be going to bed at a reasonable time in order to get at least eight hours of sleep before you to wake up in the morning, and you want to, try to engage in, soothing, sleep inducing task before bed and not stressful things like working or having really, I don't know, having arguments with people before bed. And we know that screen time, one of the number one culprits to poor sleep, none of that. So scrolling on your phone in bed. I know. I know. You're probably listening to this right now in bed, which is actually fine. Listening to something, not a problem. But being on the gram and scrolling and scrolling and all that good stuff, watching TV, no. But, again, I will save that I will save my speech and my lecture on that for the, basic areas of self care episode.
Just generally speaking, if you are feeling down, then you want to make sure you're getting decent sleep. Otherwise, you are going to feel more stressed, anxious, sad, annoyed, frustrated if you're not getting the type of sleep that you need to get. Next is appetite and eating. So checking in with yourself, are you concerned about overeating, undereating, the types of foods you're eating? Are they foods that help give you energy and nutrients, or are they foods that make you feel sluggish that, you know, they're too heavy or they just don't work well with your digestive system, things like that. So you're just wanting to be aware of what you're putting in your body and that it's the type of food that makes you feel good and feel energized. And you wanna make sure that you're eating enough of it and that you are not under nourishing yourself in any way.
So making sure you're eating enough meals. You're eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and healthy snacks in between. We then have exercise or what I just like to refer to as body movement. Moving your body in ways that serve you. Walking, stretching, yoga, Pilates, swimming, cardio, Zumba, kickboxing. I personally prefer hula hooping and doing my Supernatural app on my Oculus headset. Those are my favorite forms of exercise. I guess swimming would be as well. That's just not something that I get the opportunity to do very often. And also walking. I love walks out in, you know, nice weather. So identifying the things that help you feel good when it comes to body movement and making sure you're engaging in those with some consistency.
I mean, we know there's so many benefits to exercise. There's the obvious physical health benefits for your heart, for weight, for your muscles, but there the mental health benefits are huge as well, and it's very, very beneficial for you to make sure your body is is being moved. You know, when we're stagnant, we tend to have more aches and pains. We lose flexibility, all of these things that don't make us feel good. So making sure you are moving your body around in ways that serve you. Next on the list is socializing. So So mainly making healthy social connections. So this doesn't have to be out partying. It's about feeling like you're connected with some key people in your life to know that you aren't alone, to not feel isolated, to share your thoughts and concerns, to feel connected to the world.
If you feel totally isolated or if you feel like there's a lot of drama and chaos in your social interactions, these things are going to stress you out. They're not going to make you feel good. They're not gonna make you feel supported and And so checking in with yourself to ensure that you have made some social connections, some helpful social connections recently, that is a key part of dealing with the blues. Lastly, in basic areas of self care, we have boundary setting. These are the things we're saying yes and no to and the things that we're putting on our plate. So you wanna ask yourself how you are with setting boundaries in your life with people and things. Do you say yes too often when you really shouldn't or don't want to or you realize it's not to your benefit? Are you putting too much on your plate trying to juggle it all?
If the answer is yes, then you definitely want to set set some better boundaries with people and things in your life. This can be personally at home. This can be professionally at work. This can be with your kids. This can be with your friends. This can be with anyone and anything. You just want to assess for yourself what feels appropriate. And if you realize that you're just constantly overwhelmed or frustrated or annoyed or feel obligated or resentful towards people because you are yes, yes, yes ing all the time, then you are going to want to, say no a bit more often.
And like I said, I'll go into more details about these things in the, basic self care episode. But just know that if you're dealing with the blues or feeling down, then having all of these obligations going on for yourself that you're really not motivated for or just overwhelmed by, that's not gonna help you with with dealing with the blues. So you want to, do some better boundary setting if you recognize that you're taking on too much. Alright. So after checking in with yourself about basic areas of self care, you're going to want to lean into the things that bring you joy. And in order to do that, you first have to identify things that bring you joy.
Listen to episode seven, which is tiny things that spark joy. I talk about tiny things that spark joy for me, and it's important for us all to know what these things are for ourselves because then we can actually try to do them. So the first thing is to kind of make a tiny joys list. Like, really ask yourself, what are little things that I can do in a day or a week's time that make me feel good? So I'm talking about things like taking naps, if naps are your thing. I like to hula hoop. I like to dance. I constantly play music. I like to be out in the sunshine. I like to walk. I like to be amongst trees and water. You know, do you like to be with your pets? Do you like to play with your kids? Do you like to watch a TV show? Do you like to stretch? Do you like to bake? I can go on and on and on here. But the important thing is that you know what these things are for yourself so that you can then make plans to actually do them. So I want you to start with identifying the tiny things that bring you joy because these are the things that you do when you're feeling down. And generally speaking, they're low cost, easy to access type of things so that you don't have the roadblocks of cost or time or energy or logistics to get in your way of doing these things. Because, again, this is just, like, to move you through feeling a bit down or disappointed.
Once you've identified these tiny things that bring you joy, I want you you to actually do them. And if you identify if you recognize or if you realize that you're having trouble doing those things, then you want to identify the roadblocks. You want to understand what's getting in your way of being able to just put on some music and dance if that's something you like or to, you know, bake. Right? So then that's when we talk about schedules and all that sort of stuff, but also that boundary setting piece that I talked about, this is key. Because if you are putting too much on your plate, you may not have enough space for the tiny things that bring you joy. So then how do you expect to deal with sadness? You know? And how do you expect to deal with disappointment or anxiety? Like, these times when you have inevitable human emotions due to things happening in your life. So, you know, if, yeah, if you're having trouble with a dating situation or a relationship or a breakup or co parent or, you know, any of that sort of stuff, you know, these things, you know, might be, you know, a regular part of your life. If you're having struggles in these areas and you are feeling down because of them, you need ways to balance that out. And, ultimately, that's what self care is. Self self care is what balances out the stressors in our lives. So you have to make time for it. So if you identify these tiny things that bring you joy and you are trying to do them in order to deal with the blues, but you're finding yourself not doing it for whatever reason, you want to ask yourself what's getting in my way and then address those things just to make a little space. Like, I'm feeling really down right now. You know what? I wanna just go take a walk outside.
You know, the weather is nice. I'm gonna go take a walk. I'm gonna put headphones in and listen to a podcast or listen to music or listen to an audiobook while I go take a walk. I wanna go sit by the pond. Or, hey. I wanna call up a friend and chat with them or ask them to go out, you know, to do something or ask them to take a walk with me. I'm gonna color. I'm gonna draw. I'm gonna sketch. I'm gonna do some things that help distract me in from this exact moment where I'm just trying to soothe myself through this, you know, down moment that I'm having.
What I'm getting at is being very deliberate about engaging in joy inducing activities and recognizing that a lot of these activities can be small, simple, easy things, and they don't have to be the bigger, more extravagant things. Because maybe you love massages, but that's not always a feasible thing for you. Or you love traveling, and that's not always a feasible thing for you. Or you love going out to a big event, but that's not always feasible. There are small things you can be doing to help ride the waves of sadness and things like that.
[00:13:24] Unknown:
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Please and thank you.
[00:14:17] Unknown:
Outside of things that bring you joy, I think there are also just some emotional, there's some emotional work you can do to help to deal with the blues. One of them is definitely journaling and just writing about what you're feeling. Literally writing about what you're experiencing it so that you can get it off your chest. And when I say journaling, actually, it doesn't have to just be a written journal. You can record a video of yourself. You can record a voice note of yourself, but getting your story and your perspective out in some way. But also emotional identification.
So there's this exercise that I always talk about where you sit down and you ask yourself, what am I feeling? And you kind of tap into the different emotions that may be going on for you. So there might be sadness, anger, disappointment. And then you identify why you're feeling each feeling. So why am I feeling sadness right now? What is this about? Why am I feeling anger? Why am I feeling disappointment? And then you identify tasks that helps you do do that emotion. So some of those tasks may be some of the tasks that bring you joy that I just talked about, but there might be other things that distract you and, you know, maybe, you know, work is something you enjoy and it's a good distraction for you, so you might put that as a distraction from, you know, disappointment. It's really just taking some time to check-in with yourself and actually understand what you're feeling, understand why you're feeling it, and then also understand things that help you helps you do through that feeling or distract you from that feeling for a period of time. So this is another part of kind of dealing with the and and moving through feeling down.
You have the things that bring you so, really, I guess, if we're gonna recap, you have the basic self care areas, the things that you need just to survive as a human. Then you have the things that bring you joy. Then you have any other task that help to distract you or move you through any particular emotion. Okay. So I figured I would share an example of an ideal day for me when trying to deal with the blues. So kind of a routine that I might do when I'm just trying to help myself feel a little better. It would start with waking up in the morning. I'm big on showing gratitude, so I try to say thank you before I get out of my bed every morning. And if I can't think of anything specific to say thank you for, I mean, because there's always something, I will at least say thank you for the ability to be alive, to experience this day.
So I try to say my thank yous before I get out of bed. I intentionally let's say it's a weekday. I intentionally get up an hour before I need to wake my oldest son for school. So that for me is about 05:45 in the morning that I would get up and coffee. Like, that's a very exciting part of my day. So I look forward to that. That definitely lifts my spirits. And then just having that quiet time, that hour to myself, I relish that. I might look out my window towards the backyard onto the pond where I might see swans and ducks and take some time to just meditate on that. I oftentimes like to put in my headphones and listen to music or listen to a law of attraction video on YouTube to get some morning inspiration.
If it's one of the periods during the year where I am doing the magic, it's a book called The Magic by the same author who wrote The Secret. And The Secret was a very popular law of law of attraction things. And there's also a documentary or a movie about The Secret. So, if it's one of the times where I'm doing The Secret then I'm sorry. The magic, then I will spend that time also doing that day's practice. It's kind of like a devotional pretty much, or the equivalent of what a devotional would be for some people. So after having, like, my quiet time in doing that, I would start the day, which means getting my son up and doing all the prepping for school stuff.
And then upon getting him off to school, I usually have a little bit of time before I need to start my work work sessions. So that, is when I would get breakfast. And if if I'm feeling particularly blue, maybe I want to have something particularly tasty for breakfast. So something that I'm looking forward to that morning, then I would, you know, lean into eating something really, really tasty. And then work would start. And work serves a bit of a purpose when I'm dealing with the blues, which is to have a bit of a distraction. But probably if I'm feeling down, it completely depends on how I'm feeling, but I may not really want a long full workday. And I'm not saying that I have any control over that on that particular day. So if I have a long full workday, then that's just what it is. But work does serve some purpose in distracting me a little bit if I'm feeling down.
And then in an ideal day, I have some time in between sessions in which I might listen to some music. Or if it's a really nice day outside, I'll go for a walk. I definitely want to, at some point during that day, move my body in a way that I find enjoyable. So for me, that's going to be hula hooping, doing my supernatural app, or taking a walk. So I'm gonna wanna fit that one of those things in in that day because those things really do help me feel better once once I'm doing them. I mean, it's guaranteed that I feel at least a bit better after I'm done. So maybe I'll take a walk in between sessions, and then there comes a time where I need to pick my son up from school.
So, and also lunchtime. So, again, maybe I try to eat something particularly tasty. Maybe I order something for lunch that day, just to kind of lift my spirits a bit. And then I would get him from school, and depending on what type of work day I have, if I have, a good amount of time after picking him up from school before I have to have my next session, we might do something like go to the playground or go to the library. These are things that both he and I enjoy, so I would lean into something like that. And then maybe, work a little bit more. And then at the very end of the evening, after putting my son to bed, for me, a warm shower is very relaxing, so I would very much look forward to that.
If I haven't done some walking hula hooping earlier in the day, then I would do, like, maybe a supernatural workout or hula hoop for the evening, and then I would take a shower. And then after my shower, if I'm not just really tired and wanna pass out, then doing something like playing a little online poker, because that's a hobby that I've recently gotten into, and or reading right before bed. These would be things that this would be a typical day for me if I know that I'm feeling a bit down. These are very specific key things that I would make sure to have in my day. I do my gratitude practice in the morning. I have some quiet time in the morning. I have my coffee. Maybe I have a second coffee during the day.
I go out for a walk or I hula hoop or I do Supernatural. I make sure I have a warm shower. I listen to music at some point during the day. It's there's it's a rare day for me to not listen to music at some point during the day. And I might play some poker or do some reading, one of my, like, hobbies that I enjoy. I actually might record a podcast episode. That also helps me a lot because I feel productive, and I feel like I may be do doing something that's helpful to people. But it also is a bit of a kind of cathartic process for me to talk about some things. So this is just kind of a quick snapshot of of what a routine would be for me when it comes to trying to just help myself myself feel a little bit better on a day where I'm feeling a bit down.
So to recap, when you're dealing with the blues, I recommend that you check-in on your five basic areas of self care, sleeping, eating, exercising, socializing, and boundary setting. Make sure those are in a good place. Then you move on to identifying things that bring you a sense of joy and actually do those things. And also do some emotional identification and just some emotional exploration by journaling in various forms and identifying your emotions. Okay. That's all I have for today. I will talk to you next week.
[00:23:14] Unknown:
Hey. By the way, I can be found in other places besides this podcast. Just search my name on YouTube and you'll find my channel. Subscribe for periodic how to videos for dealing with breakups and mastering dating. That's right. I said mastering dating. It's a skill, ladies. I can also be found on Instagram at tracy panach. And lastly, I most encourage you to join my email list where you get breakup and dating support delivered to your inbox in addition to getting the most exclusive access to my programs and coaching services. My email list subscribers are the first to know when my coaching programs launch and the only people to get discounts when they're offered.
As always, I'm glad we got into it and looking forward to next time.
