Mere Mortals

Share on social media:

Is there anything we can do to be better to our loved ones?

In Episode #430 of 'Musings', Juan & I discuss: why you want to make/reflect on good times, our reluctance to interfere in other people's lives, the 9gag meme that had me chuckling, Juan bring tequila snacks to celebrate, my questionable dog-sitting abilities and why our selfishness has ruined relationships.

Huge thanks to Brian D. Leary, Petar T.  Slav, Cole McCormick & Allen C. Paul for the boostagrams. Your support means the world to us!

Timeline:
(0:00) - Intro
(0:59) - Why this topic
(3:08) - Build up memory lane
(10:24) - Proactive interventions
(15:19) - Mind reading
(21:20) - Juan never changes
(28:07) - Boostagram Lounge
(36:29) - Bringing a snack
(40:14) - Just being available
(40:38) - Cute puppy 'Butters'
(42:22) - Just being available pt 2
(46:50) - The Duolingo of relationships
(50:44) - When have we been crap people
(54:06) - A group of 'us', not a group of 'me'
(57:47) - Summary
(1:05:06) - V4V: What does it mean?


Value 4 Value Support:
Boostagram: https://www.meremortalspodcast.com/support
Paypal: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/meremortalspodcast

Connect with Mere Mortals:
Website: https://www.meremortalspodcast.com/
Discord: https://discord.gg/jjfq9eGReU
Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/meremortalspod
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/meremortalspodcast/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@meremortalspodcast

Support the show

1
00:00:04,753 --> 00:00:08,842
We all can be Mere Mortals.
We certainly are mere mortals.

2
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:11,760
Welcome back to another edition
of the musings here

3
00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:13,804
with the mere mortals. You've
got Juan on one side.

4
00:00:13,804 --> 00:00:17,766
And you've got Kyrin here.
17th of January 2024.

5
00:00:17,766 --> 00:00:20,562
Well, it's already gone
pretty quickly. It is.

6
00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:23,731
I my my mum actually
mentioned to me recently,

7
00:00:23,731 --> 00:00:25,483
she said, I'm
getting some stuff for it.

8
00:00:25,483 --> 00:00:27,902
She does arts and crafts
for Valentine's Day.

9
00:00:27,902 --> 00:00:30,696
I was like, damn, that's, that's
actually around the corner.

10
00:00:30,696 --> 00:00:32,740
yeah, yeah, yeah.
Time heals quickly.

11
00:00:32,740 --> 00:00:35,951
But today in Musings
we want to talk about

12
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:38,496
relationships now.
I posted presented

13
00:00:35,951 --> 00:00:41,582
this one to Karen initially
about talking on again

14
00:00:41,790 --> 00:00:45,045
a deeper topic
like to philosophise

15
00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:46,755
about deep topics
like Hot touch in general.

16
00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:48,506
And I said let's talk
about friendships.

17
00:00:48,506 --> 00:00:53,177
What makes a good friend?
And you wanted to explore

18
00:00:49,798 --> 00:00:54,470
further into relations farther
more like relationships

19
00:00:54,470 --> 00:00:58,057
in general, just relational.
Yeah, I just didn't have

20
00:00:55,387 --> 00:01:01,310
nothing to specificity. Yeah.
Now the reason, the reason

21
00:00:58,932 --> 00:01:02,936
this actually came up
while I talk about the topic

22
00:01:02,936 --> 00:01:05,230
a couple of weeks ago,
I was talking with my partner

23
00:01:05,230 --> 00:01:09,194
and she presented
this particular idea. Of.

24
00:01:09,277 --> 00:01:15,825
You know, in one hand
I kind of have it easy in terms

25
00:01:13,864 --> 00:01:19,495
of our friendship group,
but in another part it was just

26
00:01:17,367 --> 00:01:20,662
a conversation of friends
and what makes a good friend.

27
00:01:20,662 --> 00:01:23,290
And she's had some issues
with some previous friends

28
00:01:23,290 --> 00:01:25,001
that she's had
in her group around.

29
00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:30,090
They either don't they're not
communicative enough

30
00:01:27,837 --> 00:01:32,341
or they don't present
when they need to be all

31
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:33,760
these sort of qualities.
And I was kind of presenting that

32
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,930
look in the large
part myself personally.

33
00:01:37,013 --> 00:01:40,808
It's not like I need a gigantic
group of friends,

34
00:01:38,722 --> 00:01:43,644
a huge amount of people,
but when I do have

35
00:01:40,808 --> 00:01:44,561
the friends that I have,
it's enough.

36
00:01:44,561 --> 00:01:46,480
And it's been enough for
like a really long time.

37
00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:49,817
I haven't had to explore
or find some others. Now you have

38
00:01:49,817 --> 00:01:52,778
maybe the last couple of years
kind of ventured out

39
00:01:50,984 --> 00:01:55,447
and find other friendship
groups for other spaces

40
00:01:52,778 --> 00:01:56,825
that you participate in.
For me, largely I haven't.

41
00:01:56,825 --> 00:02:01,120
I've been sticking around
to the things I've been doing,

42
00:01:58,367 --> 00:02:05,792
so I build friendships in. Yeah,
areas that I'm interested

43
00:02:02,412 --> 00:02:07,001
in fitness work wise.
And so that's

44
00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:09,044
where the thought of it
all came around,

45
00:02:09,044 --> 00:02:10,420
because obviously
you've been exploring

46
00:02:10,420 --> 00:02:13,216
different friendships.
I had this conversation

47
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:14,717
with a bot around
what makes a good friend

48
00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:17,137
and the qualities,
but I also wanted to yes,

49
00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:18,638
one explore further.
So it's talking

50
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:20,389
in relation to talking
about the father as a

51
00:02:20,389 --> 00:02:22,391
yeah, in general as a memorial
to want to be a more,

52
00:02:22,391 --> 00:02:25,395
you know, what makes a
good memorial connection.

53
00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:27,855
And I try to think of things
that weren't like the usual site.

54
00:02:27,855 --> 00:02:31,860
Yes we could talk about
the like real usual very common

55
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:33,861
and very general things,
but I tried to dig down

56
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:34,778
and be like,
let's make it interesting.

57
00:02:34,778 --> 00:02:37,615
Let's make it interesting things
that maybe we wouldn't

58
00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:40,659
talk about. Because I think the
the general plan is

59
00:02:38,782 --> 00:02:45,247
like how I want him to be honest,
that I want him to be energetic

60
00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:46,331
and I want him to be
someone who cares about me.

61
00:02:46,331 --> 00:02:48,334
I think those
are all good qualities

62
00:02:46,832 --> 00:02:49,877
and we could
probably explore them

63
00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:50,961
if we need to.
But I have a couple of

64
00:02:50,961 --> 00:02:52,713
interesting ones, so that's how
I want to drive.

65
00:02:52,713 --> 00:02:54,465
At least the conversation
tonight sounds good.

66
00:02:54,465 --> 00:02:56,633
So if you've got
some as well, try them.

67
00:02:56,633 --> 00:02:59,387
I got two main topics,
but we'll start with you.

68
00:02:59,387 --> 00:03:02,056
Let's go with mine. Let's go
and no more lights

69
00:03:02,056 --> 00:03:04,266
if you're in the light as well.
These lives I've been showing

70
00:03:04,266 --> 00:03:06,060
steady time dropping
in the showers as well.

71
00:03:06,060 --> 00:03:07,478
Let me know about it.
I would love to.

72
00:03:07,478 --> 00:03:11,691
Now I call this one
build up memory lane.

73
00:03:11,774 --> 00:03:16,612
Build up memory lane.
So when I beam on

74
00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:18,072
so whether it's in
any relation, again,

75
00:03:18,072 --> 00:03:19,657
I'm thinking these
sometimes in front of us

76
00:03:19,657 --> 00:03:21,366
really exploring
into different areas

77
00:03:21,366 --> 00:03:24,412
what makes a good and of course
is coming from the buys

78
00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:25,663
of what I think
would make it good.

79
00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:28,081
But I think in general,
building up memory lane

80
00:03:28,081 --> 00:03:29,876
is something
that you want to exhibit

81
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,752
in the people that you're
connecting with.

82
00:03:31,752 --> 00:03:35,798
And what I mean by that is
whether it's you to them

83
00:03:33,545 --> 00:03:39,593
or them to you,
you want to build up

84
00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:41,471
the memory bank
for future conversation

85
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:46,643
or the activities,
the explorations that will make

86
00:03:43,931 --> 00:03:49,062
for memorable moments.
If I can like think back to Alec,

87
00:03:47,977 --> 00:03:51,355
our friendship group,
so specifically

88
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:53,983
our friendship group. If.
If we sat around, we

89
00:03:51,355 --> 00:03:55,610
said, let's get together
and let's get to have

90
00:03:53,983 --> 00:03:56,443
a couple of drinks.
I was going to have dinner,

91
00:03:56,443 --> 00:04:00,073
whatever it might be, or partner,
and you sat down

92
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:03,075
and then you talked about
the day to day

93
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:04,326
events, how this happened,
how you're going to go do this

94
00:04:04,326 --> 00:04:07,413
kind of future facing world.
Like this

95
00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:08,872
is what's happening now. I went
there's one like

96
00:04:08,872 --> 00:04:10,707
really critical thing
that I would always

97
00:04:10,707 --> 00:04:14,795
want to come back and explore
and it's memory

98
00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:17,130
lane. It's back to you.
Remember that time that we'd kick

99
00:04:15,545 --> 00:04:17,714
the teacher's bag,
or do you remember

100
00:04:17,714 --> 00:04:20,259
when we went to this place
and we did this and you almost

101
00:04:20,259 --> 00:04:24,346
you bring your gel to the
good times of the past,

102
00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:27,307
to the present,
and you almost amalgamated

103
00:04:27,307 --> 00:04:29,435
something even better
and you continue going.

104
00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:33,773
I went, Yeah, I think in
for me to all this

105
00:04:32,271 --> 00:04:35,858
and others to me I go,
we need to have the ability

106
00:04:35,858 --> 00:04:40,612
or to have a good relation
build up memory lane in

107
00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:41,822
some way, shape or form.
If I was connecting with people

108
00:04:41,822 --> 00:04:43,908
that were connecting with me
and they didn't want to build up

109
00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:48,663
memory lane, if it was a it's,
it was more transactional.

110
00:04:48,663 --> 00:04:52,458
If I saw people
and in general this can be

111
00:04:52,541 --> 00:04:54,127
an example,
it would be a workplace

112
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:57,004
I of people in the workplace
who are relations

113
00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:59,132
like I know them,
but I'm not going to make it

114
00:04:57,838 --> 00:05:01,009
into a relationship
because I'm not building

115
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:03,302
any memory lane with them. It's,
you know my name, I know you,

116
00:05:03,302 --> 00:05:06,221
I know who you are
in generality, so do why,

117
00:05:06,221 --> 00:05:10,225
But give it seven years.
And if we connected again,

118
00:05:07,389 --> 00:05:10,935
I'm not going to go.
hey, do you remember that

119
00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:12,937
time that we did this
or this happened?

120
00:05:12,937 --> 00:05:15,605
Is this going to be more
a Hey, this is a present.

121
00:05:15,605 --> 00:05:18,026
What are you doing in the future?
Maybe. How did you go

122
00:05:17,149 --> 00:05:19,651
on your holiday?
Something like. That. But it is

123
00:05:19,651 --> 00:05:21,946
it is more surface
level of conversation.

124
00:05:21,946 --> 00:05:23,906
The true relationships,
I would say

125
00:05:23,906 --> 00:05:27,285
you need to build up in
real life. Do you reckon it's

126
00:05:24,990 --> 00:05:31,622
because the day to day life is
just so mundane or so

127
00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:34,666
it's kind of rare. You get
real winds that you really need

128
00:05:34,666 --> 00:05:36,461
to talk about,
and even if you do,

129
00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:38,588
people won't get it. I didn't.
You were told one was talking

130
00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:41,591
about this invoice
I've received recently

131
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:43,800
and it was his first
and he's excited about it.

132
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:46,387
I'm like, I don't know
what this means.

133
00:05:46,387 --> 00:05:48,430
I can tell he's excited,
but I don't know what it means.

134
00:05:48,430 --> 00:05:52,435
But but, but just imposing that.
But then what did I do

135
00:05:50,766 --> 00:05:55,605
afterwards? I then compared it
to something in memory

136
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:58,274
lane, a.k.a the first time
we got to be Scream. Yeah.

137
00:05:58,274 --> 00:06:00,651
And so I was okay, That's
a shared experience.

138
00:06:00,651 --> 00:06:04,363
Now. It wasn't like
either of us put down

139
00:06:04,363 --> 00:06:07,449
some heavy actions
to make it a memory that now

140
00:06:07,449 --> 00:06:10,370
I that's an experience
that happened at some point

141
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,372
but it's a shared experience
that I put some association

142
00:06:13,372 --> 00:06:16,459
against that and competitive now.
Yes. I'm just recalling something

143
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:19,961
from that's happened. But I
think in more generality,

144
00:06:19,961 --> 00:06:22,839
there's things in memory lane
that you either build consciously

145
00:06:22,839 --> 00:06:28,387
or it's or it's generally
the unconsciously build memories

146
00:06:25,425 --> 00:06:29,721
between relationships
that can help strengthen

147
00:06:29,721 --> 00:06:31,598
those connections moving forward.
Yeah, Yeah.

148
00:06:31,598 --> 00:06:35,769
I'm just wondering if the
the reason that you hang out with

149
00:06:35,769 --> 00:06:39,314
certain people is because you get
better feelings from them and you

150
00:06:39,314 --> 00:06:42,317
go back to fun things
that were you know, it's

151
00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:45,071
I'm just I'm struggling
to think it's very rare

152
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:49,199
we've gone back to the times
where we've experienced

153
00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:50,492
break ups, for example.
I don't really ask

154
00:06:49,199 --> 00:06:51,576
you about that much.
You ask me about that much.

155
00:06:51,576 --> 00:06:53,954
Does that make us bad
friends? Maybe. Who knows?

156
00:06:53,954 --> 00:06:55,915
Maybe some people
would argue that fire.

157
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:58,543
But I kind of think that,
the reason

158
00:06:57,290 --> 00:07:00,961
we go back to those fond memories
is that maybe nothing much

159
00:07:00,961 --> 00:07:03,463
is happening at the time.
We certainly do

160
00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:04,882
talk about the future or what's
what's happening at the moment,

161
00:07:04,882 --> 00:07:08,093
but it's good to go back
to those ones

162
00:07:08,093 --> 00:07:12,889
that are like guaranteed
wins, you know? Yeah,

163
00:07:10,637 --> 00:07:15,767
it's already happened.
And and I find that the memories

164
00:07:15,767 --> 00:07:20,564
don't tend to either. We could
bring up some stuff like,

165
00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:25,819
jeez, one man lighting things
on fire and chemistry and, like,

166
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:27,822
it never gets old.
No, it doesn't.

167
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:30,158
It doesn't lose its
flavour because you've,

168
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:31,992
you've listened
to the same story.

169
00:07:31,992 --> 00:07:36,372
Multiple times.
And every now and then

170
00:07:33,494 --> 00:07:39,459
you get an old Jim come up
like our friend Mitchell,

171
00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:41,461
pointing out kangaroos out
outside the window,

172
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:42,795
which he brought up about
a couple of months ago

173
00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:44,963
when I went to his place
and I was like, shit,

174
00:07:44,963 --> 00:07:48,759
I completely forgot about.
This memory. Yeah, yeah,

175
00:07:47,007 --> 00:07:50,677
cool memory unlocked.
And so, yeah, that's why

176
00:07:50,677 --> 00:07:53,680
I kind of think memories
are good for that.

177
00:07:53,805 --> 00:07:58,435
Just going back into who
and reinforce good, good feelings

178
00:07:56,766 --> 00:08:00,187
between people. Yeah.
And try to type again.

179
00:08:00,187 --> 00:08:01,396
I'm talking
and some of that is going

180
00:08:01,396 --> 00:08:02,607
to come out of friendship.
But again,

181
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:07,153
whether you're a a dad,
whether you're a partner,

182
00:08:07,235 --> 00:08:09,488
it also comes down
to that place of,

183
00:08:09,488 --> 00:08:12,074
I think, to build
the right relationships.

184
00:08:12,074 --> 00:08:14,619
You want to be willing
to build the memories

185
00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:19,247
as well with these,
what would I associate

186
00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:20,708
a bad father or a bad dad?
It would be if they were.

187
00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:24,045
For whatever reason, you did
not build up the memories

188
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:28,298
with that individual. Again, here
being your kid, if you didn't

189
00:08:26,213 --> 00:08:30,091
build those memories now,
it might be for other reasons,

190
00:08:30,091 --> 00:08:34,221
like you're investing more time
in your work or other things

191
00:08:32,010 --> 00:08:36,307
that you're doing.
But if you don't put that energy

192
00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:39,018
into building the memories
with them, well,

193
00:08:37,975 --> 00:08:41,019
you're not doing that.
That's that's flat out, you know,

194
00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:42,730
and then the can become issues
in the relationship.

195
00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:46,107
I would even say a bad
father would be one who brings up

196
00:08:46,107 --> 00:08:48,528
old crap from the past,
which isn't helpful.

197
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:51,989
It isn't a good memory.
You know, there's

198
00:08:49,778 --> 00:08:52,697
there's times where I've
dropped my dad's

199
00:08:52,697 --> 00:08:56,619
watch from the balcony
because I was a kid.

200
00:08:56,619 --> 00:09:01,206
And that's what you do?
Absolutely smashed this,

201
00:08:59,496 --> 00:09:02,416
you know, couple
hundred dollar watch,

202
00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:08,214
a couple hundred dollars,
you know, 20, 20, 30

203
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:10,466
years ago. Yeah. And
I don't think he's ever

204
00:09:08,297 --> 00:09:13,635
brought that up again.
I remember it because it was just

205
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:15,929
something that I did.
But if he brought that up

206
00:09:13,635 --> 00:09:19,057
all the time, every time I did
something wrong and he was,

207
00:09:17,306 --> 00:09:21,476
you know, as an example
of how I fuck things up

208
00:09:19,057 --> 00:09:23,354
all the time, I think bringing up
that bad memory

209
00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:26,816
is probably the opposite of what
a good relationship is.

210
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:30,903
That's good. You bring up
unnecessarily bad ones. Yeah.

211
00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:33,364
So maybe I would say,
yeah, build up memory lane.

212
00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:37,368
Don't don't build up
historical records. Don't build

213
00:09:36,450 --> 00:09:38,952
it up. Persist.
Don't build it up as the

214
00:09:38,952 --> 00:09:40,955
the blockchain of your life
where it's like, well, actually

215
00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:42,456
you did this
and you messed it up.

216
00:09:42,456 --> 00:09:47,003
17 time, stupid it do it better.
It's more I think

217
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:51,381
the great relationships is
wherever you find them is the

218
00:09:51,381 --> 00:09:54,969
the right build up of memory
and yes, interspersed with

219
00:09:55,177 --> 00:09:58,514
suffering in the valleys,
it's if you want to visualise it,

220
00:09:58,514 --> 00:10:00,307
it's being able
to recall the high

221
00:10:00,307 --> 00:10:02,934
points, the mountains,
the local mountains that you find

222
00:10:02,934 --> 00:10:04,812
at other points
that you can resurface,

223
00:10:04,812 --> 00:10:06,397
whether it's good times,
whether you're celebrating,

224
00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:10,150
and then you bringing up things
or you just

225
00:10:07,898 --> 00:10:12,068
in some crappy low point.
Then you go, Hey, remember this

226
00:10:12,068 --> 00:10:13,696
and you kind of able
to bring people

227
00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:16,115
from a different level,
different energy.

228
00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:18,491
So I was one that was one
that I was okay. Yeah.

229
00:10:18,491 --> 00:10:20,369
That's a that's a good
a different one

230
00:10:20,369 --> 00:10:23,831
than the usual one. Nice, nice.
I've got a question for you.

231
00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:27,626
So do you need to
proactively be involved

232
00:10:27,626 --> 00:10:29,711
in the others
life to be a good ex?

233
00:10:29,711 --> 00:10:32,298
So a good father,
a good pet owner,

234
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:36,052
a good son, good daughter, good.
To be a good pet flock.

235
00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:40,096
Different relationship.
Yeah, you know that.

236
00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:42,432
So do you need to
be proactively involved?

237
00:10:42,432 --> 00:10:44,351
I think I can guess
your answer to this.

238
00:10:44,351 --> 00:10:49,148
But what you Moldova.
In some ways you do.

239
00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:54,070
In some ways you do.
But it is very dependent

240
00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:54,820
on the relationship type
that you have.

241
00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:57,782
I think it was a like
really long term friends.

242
00:10:57,782 --> 00:11:01,785
I think it depends on the
the length of time

243
00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:05,914
that you have been friends
and and also how often

244
00:11:01,785 --> 00:11:08,918
the connection requires
the energy to keep it

245
00:11:05,914 --> 00:11:10,878
as a good relationship.
You know, again, I've had friends

246
00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:14,965
who would still would
call friends that I don't connect

247
00:11:12,546 --> 00:11:16,759
with all that often. Yeah.
The energy

248
00:11:15,256 --> 00:11:20,096
that we go back and forth
and whatever we're doing,

249
00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:22,722
it isn't that much,
but it doesn't change.

250
00:11:22,722 --> 00:11:25,934
The position of the friendship.
Now isn't to say that maybe

251
00:11:25,934 --> 00:11:28,895
if I invested more into it,
it would change it for the better

252
00:11:28,895 --> 00:11:30,690
because I was
one of my other points.

253
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:34,317
But there's definitely some
some non-trivial point

254
00:11:34,317 --> 00:11:36,278
that is like, Hey,
you need to be at least

255
00:11:34,985 --> 00:11:38,239
connecting this much or else
it's not going to work.

256
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:40,323
I could see it even on
a good friendship group.

257
00:11:40,323 --> 00:11:47,038
If we'd left some connections out
for a few years. There's

258
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:48,249
some of them in that group
that would be like, you know,

259
00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:49,917
we might not make them an
energy anymore

260
00:11:49,917 --> 00:11:53,129
to really connect anymore
because we just

261
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:54,504
let that investment go and that's
where it eventuates.

262
00:11:54,504 --> 00:11:58,091
So yeah, you do
to certain degrees

263
00:11:56,631 --> 00:12:00,594
obviously depends on
on the person,

264
00:11:58,091 --> 00:12:02,346
but even more so for sure.
On relationships that,

265
00:12:02,346 --> 00:12:05,765
you know, whatever,
that's an even

266
00:12:03,304 --> 00:12:10,104
higher energy outside
to be expanding. Okay So for me,

267
00:12:06,307 --> 00:12:13,190
I would, I would say proactively
involved to be good.

268
00:12:13,231 --> 00:12:14,942
I wouldn't say you have to
be super proactive.

269
00:12:14,942 --> 00:12:21,115
I think you can just be active.
But I don't think you

270
00:12:16,693 --> 00:12:23,658
need to be really the ones
making things happen

271
00:12:21,197 --> 00:12:26,412
or really diving in.
And so to illustrate this,

272
00:12:23,658 --> 00:12:29,206
here's another question.
If you think this other

273
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:31,542
person in your life is
is hurting in some way.

274
00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:33,543
Should you kind of
force the issue?

275
00:12:33,543 --> 00:12:38,090
So if you have I've got
a couple of examples here.

276
00:12:38,173 --> 00:12:42,552
If you have like
a friend who has a

277
00:12:40,091 --> 00:12:45,514
what you would describe
as a crappy girlfriend,

278
00:12:42,552 --> 00:12:47,015
maybe they're in a
somewhat abusive relationship

279
00:12:47,015 --> 00:12:53,773
or maybe physical, verbal,
whatever. If you have a loved one

280
00:12:50,769 --> 00:12:55,816
who's maybe making some
health decisions that you think,

281
00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:59,528
I'm not so sure about that.
Someone who's got

282
00:12:57,485 --> 00:13:01,322
some ethical frameworks
which you think

283
00:12:59,528 --> 00:13:03,072
are a little bit dodgy,
maybe they're doing some things

284
00:13:01,905 --> 00:13:05,826
where you like.
I'm not really sure what

285
00:13:03,072 --> 00:13:07,952
you want to be doing that
if you think there is in some way

286
00:13:07,952 --> 00:13:10,498
getting themselves into trouble,
maybe that's another good way

287
00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:13,333
of putting it instead of hurting.
Should you bring

288
00:13:13,333 --> 00:13:16,294
this up with them
and kind of force it, say

289
00:13:16,294 --> 00:13:18,214
this is once again
being kind of proactive

290
00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:20,716
in the relationship?
Yeah, honestly,

291
00:13:19,255 --> 00:13:24,511
I'm going to say something
that is probably not

292
00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:29,350
controversial, but maybe not as
I wouldn't say it's the

293
00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:31,268
prevailing common thought.
I'd say no. I'd say no.

294
00:13:31,268 --> 00:13:37,607
And in the sense of
whether a friend maybe

295
00:13:36,148 --> 00:13:39,400
I'd make a difference, I
this is relationships in a whole

296
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:44,782
I'll make one caveat
in the incredibly close

297
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:46,658
connection of a partner
that and maybe with your kids,

298
00:13:46,658 --> 00:13:50,870
obviously I wouldn't know
just yet, but I'd say that's

299
00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:51,913
the only boundary way.
You would probably breach

300
00:13:51,913 --> 00:13:55,292
that and actually do
be very proactive in it.

301
00:13:55,458 --> 00:14:01,966
Beyond that scope, though,
I would say no, because I'm

302
00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:05,469
not the psychologist,
I'm not the doctor, I'm

303
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:07,721
not the you know, there's
there's other people

304
00:14:05,594 --> 00:14:09,097
that could be like that.
I'm not their parent. Whatever.

305
00:14:09,097 --> 00:14:11,057
They also have a life
to live in the conscience

306
00:14:11,057 --> 00:14:14,352
to do things. But I wouldn't
deviate away

307
00:14:14,352 --> 00:14:16,480
from being the friend
that I am to that friend.

308
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:18,315
Case in point,
I had a really good friend

309
00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:19,984
who went through
exactly that process

310
00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:22,735
where they had a terrible
relationship

311
00:14:22,735 --> 00:14:25,029
was like verbally abused
and that sort of stuff.

312
00:14:25,029 --> 00:14:26,782
And we went through
a big portion where I just

313
00:14:26,782 --> 00:14:29,909
I continued to be my normal self
as a friend to him.

314
00:14:29,909 --> 00:14:32,955
He went through a process
where, well, sometimes

315
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:34,581
he just would stop talking
for like six months

316
00:14:34,581 --> 00:14:37,167
because he'd gotten locked
out of like, like

317
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:40,296
his partner would lock his phone,
couldn't contact me.

318
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:43,716
He it was like pot him,
pot her, I wouldn't hear.

319
00:14:43,798 --> 00:14:47,595
But when I like able
to reconnect, it was kind

320
00:14:45,967 --> 00:14:49,804
of a reconnection. And then
I wouldn't deviate away

321
00:14:49,804 --> 00:14:54,058
from the friend that I've
been to. This individual wouldn't

322
00:14:54,058 --> 00:14:56,019
have helped him out,
press the issue and be like, Hey,

323
00:14:56,019 --> 00:14:57,062
no, no, no, you got to
get out of this.

324
00:14:57,062 --> 00:14:58,938
I'm going to help you out
like that.

325
00:14:58,938 --> 00:15:02,442
In part, I think maybe,
but another part ago,

326
00:15:02,525 --> 00:15:06,071
I think I was equally helped by
just being in constant

327
00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:08,865
expectation of what
I was going to be, not anything

328
00:15:08,865 --> 00:15:12,745
beyond or anything less
than a quick deviation.

329
00:15:12,827 --> 00:15:15,873
Now I'm going outside,
unless they're very critical.

330
00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:17,791
The connection of a pod
or maybe kids.

331
00:15:17,791 --> 00:15:20,836
I don't know, honestly,
and this is similar to me,

332
00:15:20,836 --> 00:15:24,798
and I'll bring up a little thing
which made me think of this. Why?

333
00:15:24,798 --> 00:15:31,429
So yeah. It was. Interesting.
I came up across this meme

334
00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:33,807
recently and it
it kind of encapsulated

335
00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:36,476
my thoughts on this.
So I'm going to try and do

336
00:15:33,807 --> 00:15:38,645
this live here.
So it was basically this meme

337
00:15:38,645 --> 00:15:41,023
and I couldn't find the exact one
because I think it was on

338
00:15:39,938 --> 00:15:44,943
nine Guy or something like that.
So I took the screen

339
00:15:41,731 --> 00:15:47,153
TikTok screenshot
and so basically it's it says

340
00:15:47,153 --> 00:15:49,740
it's got a guy and a girl
and it says trying to figure out

341
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:51,783
how my boyfriend knows
everything about bitcoin,

342
00:15:51,783 --> 00:15:55,620
crypto sports,
inflation, interest rates,

343
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:57,664
nutrition, dieting, etc.
but never knows why I'm upset.

344
00:15:57,664 --> 00:16:00,167
And I got I thought this was a
pretty good thing

345
00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:03,169
because it links to mind
reading, which I again,

346
00:16:03,253 --> 00:16:09,217
I'm not a fan of with.
If people expect that from

347
00:16:05,172 --> 00:16:10,844
me, if you expect me to be able
to delve into your mind

348
00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:14,556
and really know
exactly what you're

349
00:16:12,428 --> 00:16:18,519
thinking and feeling.
And not only that, but

350
00:16:14,556 --> 00:16:21,397
then how I should react.
Like what's the best way

351
00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:23,231
to react to that? So once again,
this gets to the kind of

352
00:16:23,231 --> 00:16:25,859
classic thing between
men and women, which is,

353
00:16:25,859 --> 00:16:30,990
you know, a girl will be talking
about something, bitch

354
00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:34,243
at work, colleagues,
you know, has falling out

355
00:16:31,155 --> 00:16:35,369
whatever body issues
and anything really.

356
00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:38,913
And the guy will be like,
have you thought about doing this

357
00:16:38,913 --> 00:16:42,710
really proactive of problem
solving, solution orientated?

358
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:45,921
But that's not what she wants.
She just wants to be here. Yeah,

359
00:16:45,129 --> 00:16:47,089
she wants to be heard.
She wants you to

360
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:49,508
acknowledge her feelings,
something like that.

361
00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:52,510
And so there's this
difference, I guess, where

362
00:16:52,552 --> 00:16:56,056
even with the mind reading
and then then it could be

363
00:16:53,886 --> 00:16:58,267
while the outcome of it, what do
you actually want from it?

364
00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:00,644
And so this
is, this is where I go.

365
00:17:00,644 --> 00:17:06,983
Like, I don't think
it's acceptable to want

366
00:17:02,604 --> 00:17:08,359
or think that this
this is a normal thing

367
00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:12,698
that you should expect cept or
to be a good friend.

368
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:16,410
I need to know or a good partner.
I need to read your mind

369
00:17:14,490 --> 00:17:20,122
and then not only read your mind,
but know how to

370
00:17:20,204 --> 00:17:22,875
respond in the way
that is beneficial.

371
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:31,508
And so, for example,
with an idea. Yeah, be able to.

372
00:17:31,508 --> 00:17:33,676
I feel this is on them
that they need to be able

373
00:17:33,676 --> 00:17:39,807
to communicate more clearly.
The girl from the ticktock

374
00:17:35,679 --> 00:17:42,478
if if she's sad and the guy
doesn't know why

375
00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:46,022
she should tell him,
which is sad. Sure I would.

376
00:17:43,979 --> 00:17:48,150
I would. I would spin it.
I'll spend the other way

377
00:17:46,022 --> 00:17:49,526
around though, into more later.
Like, you know,

378
00:17:49,526 --> 00:17:52,028
I think you can take some
ownership around this.

379
00:17:52,028 --> 00:17:53,739
Yes, there's communication,
but I would say it's

380
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:57,576
the opposite in and I guess
because as a relationship, yes,

381
00:17:57,576 --> 00:17:58,911
it should be both ways
and probably one

382
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,746
to find the people
who are like this.

383
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:02,914
I definitely don't agree
that you should

384
00:18:02,914 --> 00:18:08,086
be expected to mind read.
I will dual flight

385
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:10,422
a little bit in terms of
like you're the right

386
00:18:08,086 --> 00:18:11,757
partner, maybe your kids.
Okay, there's a certain

387
00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:15,219
level of assumptions
you should know about this person

388
00:18:13,549 --> 00:18:16,385
because you've got
very deep connections here.

389
00:18:16,385 --> 00:18:20,682
If you know they do this action,
you better believe they're going

390
00:18:19,597 --> 00:18:22,017
to do the next action
and you should be able

391
00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:23,935
to anticipate that,
that I get that

392
00:18:22,017 --> 00:18:24,853
a friendship group
for other people,

393
00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:26,896
maybe not as much, and maybe
you don't have to assume

394
00:18:26,896 --> 00:18:28,690
you can be direct
and also ask questions.

395
00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:32,611
But General,
maybe the expectation

396
00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:37,615
should be, however, you should
be in all of this, I think

397
00:18:34,403 --> 00:18:40,451
in a good relationship,
friend, partner, family,

398
00:18:37,657 --> 00:18:45,124
whatever,
you should have some tools

399
00:18:40,451 --> 00:18:47,084
or some abilities
so that you can inquire

400
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:51,087
to find out that information.
What those dreams

401
00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:52,047
are very different, right?
I'll tell you, in our friendship

402
00:18:52,047 --> 00:18:55,592
group shit, we probably
assume a hell of a lot. We don't

403
00:18:54,799 --> 00:18:57,426
really get into some
a lot of personal stuff. Unless.

404
00:18:57,426 --> 00:19:01,807
There's very specific criteria
where we will do that. It's REI

405
00:19:00,012 --> 00:19:04,601
does all the friends.
I never get to

406
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:07,479
that work. Colleagues. Forget it.
Maybe sometimes. Family.

407
00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:11,692
Okay. Sometimes. And then,
you know, with my partner,

408
00:19:10,106 --> 00:19:13,484
definitely, you know,
all of that conversation

409
00:19:13,484 --> 00:19:17,865
wheedling, I can get really quite
deep and insightful into in

410
00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:20,409
some of the podcast conversations
I've had with Tough men.

411
00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:23,996
That was a really good
conversation. And opening up,

412
00:19:22,786 --> 00:19:26,289
I don't know
what made it so easy. To do that.

413
00:19:26,289 --> 00:19:29,084
I don't know. But I think
you need to have yes,

414
00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:30,586
they have the expectation
that you're going to

415
00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:35,132
mind reading, but I would say
you should have the expectation

416
00:19:33,588 --> 00:19:37,092
that a good relationship
means that you have tools

417
00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:39,469
and ways that you can find out
that information. Right?

418
00:19:39,469 --> 00:19:41,888
Yeah. Inquire into them.
Yep, pretty much. So.

419
00:19:41,888 --> 00:19:44,807
When I was thinking about this,
I was was thinking like,

420
00:19:44,807 --> 00:19:48,604
Now am I good housemate,
for example, because

421
00:19:48,686 --> 00:19:51,981
I don't regularly sit down
and inquire,

422
00:19:52,065 --> 00:19:54,692
Yeah, how are you going
and making sure

423
00:19:54,692 --> 00:19:56,819
that she's alright
and things like that.

424
00:19:56,819 --> 00:20:00,324
Just, you know, we see each other
fucking every day,

425
00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:02,617
but it's just not
something where I'm like

426
00:20:02,617 --> 00:20:05,203
going to absolutely
nail down and make sure,

427
00:20:05,203 --> 00:20:07,413
you know,
let alone with her, which,

428
00:20:07,413 --> 00:20:10,041
you know, we're friends,
but we're not really good

429
00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:13,336
friends. We're not friends
like you and I are friends

430
00:20:10,541 --> 00:20:14,630
or some of our
other high school friends.

431
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:17,673
And, you know,
it's rare that I see them

432
00:20:15,756 --> 00:20:22,179
one on one. And so, you know,
should I be making

433
00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:25,515
the effort to go out
and make sure that they're okay

434
00:20:24,222 --> 00:20:27,433
and doing these kind of like
one on one things?

435
00:20:27,433 --> 00:20:29,269
And once again, I'm
kind of leaning towards

436
00:20:29,269 --> 00:20:32,772
like even just from
a pragmatic standpoint,

437
00:20:32,855 --> 00:20:37,486
if you see, yes, if someone's
behaviour changes a lot,

438
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:39,820
that's probably worth questioning
and inquiring into.

439
00:20:39,820 --> 00:20:44,326
Yes, definitely.
What you should actually

440
00:20:42,281 --> 00:20:47,119
do from that, though,
I think from a pragmatic

441
00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:50,832
standpoint is questionable.
So yeah, for example,

442
00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:53,167
have you ever done
an intervention on someone

443
00:20:53,167 --> 00:20:55,878
where you have organised
with other people.

444
00:20:55,878 --> 00:20:59,967
Not never or never.
Even maybe a personal

445
00:20:57,463 --> 00:21:02,970
intervention when you've
pulled him aside

446
00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:04,762
and you're like, Dude,
like this is awful. Like, I'm

447
00:21:04,762 --> 00:21:06,973
not sure this is really
working out for you. Yeah.

448
00:21:06,973 --> 00:21:09,768
Have you really thought about it?
Neither. I've never gone

449
00:21:09,768 --> 00:21:13,480
to an extent where I'm
like pulling someone aside

450
00:21:13,563 --> 00:21:17,025
and because you can do it
obviously in other smaller ways.

451
00:21:17,025 --> 00:21:20,945
First joking about something
which might be a I'll

452
00:21:19,193 --> 00:21:22,571
I'll tell it. I'll tell you
even more directly.

453
00:21:22,571 --> 00:21:25,366
I had a friend that
like a long time ago,

454
00:21:25,366 --> 00:21:28,244
he told me, Hey,
I've called Men's Health

455
00:21:28,244 --> 00:21:30,998
Healthline last night.
I really need to help.

456
00:21:30,998 --> 00:21:36,086
I wasn't in the right place.
I'm feeling a bit better

457
00:21:32,790 --> 00:21:38,255
now, but kind of said.
I still didn't

458
00:21:36,169 --> 00:21:39,881
tell you after I still.
I still. Didn't change.

459
00:21:39,881 --> 00:21:44,845
How I behaved because I
maybe wouldn't say consciously,

460
00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:46,971
but just subconsciously, I think
if I was reflecting on now

461
00:21:46,971 --> 00:21:50,474
and I still wouldn't
want to be the same friend

462
00:21:48,472 --> 00:21:51,727
to this person, same friend
doesn't want to change

463
00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:54,520
and I want it to be different.
It's cool. I'm

464
00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:57,857
it's going to be constant.
I'm not going to deviate

465
00:21:54,520 --> 00:22:00,234
too much away here.
Some people might go, that's

466
00:21:59,276 --> 00:22:00,777
why you need to reach out.
That's what you need.

467
00:22:00,777 --> 00:22:07,576
I kind of go, No, you need to be
the consistent rock for that

468
00:22:05,740 --> 00:22:09,786
particular person. Again, there's
obviously extremes to this

469
00:22:09,786 --> 00:22:13,205
that you would take some actions,
so some really extreme cases,

470
00:22:13,205 --> 00:22:15,709
but I'm going to go in
the generality I'd go towards.

471
00:22:15,709 --> 00:22:18,961
No, keep this steady to you.
Yep. Yeah, pretty much.

472
00:22:18,961 --> 00:22:22,173
That was a good thing that
you brought up I guess was

473
00:22:22,257 --> 00:22:24,259
I don't know how
to frame this properly.

474
00:22:24,259 --> 00:22:27,762
The changing of
relationships over time.

475
00:22:27,846 --> 00:22:30,848
Do. Is that something
that's to be expected

476
00:22:30,848 --> 00:22:35,770
like it to a good a good friend
would be able to adapt

477
00:22:35,770 --> 00:22:38,940
and mould himself to
certain sonata scenarios

478
00:22:38,981 --> 00:22:41,651
or a good partner
would be able to be like,

479
00:22:41,651 --> 00:22:45,279
you know, let's let's say my
my partner got sexually assaulted

480
00:22:45,279 --> 00:22:48,741
and she's being like
really withdrawn,

481
00:22:48,825 --> 00:22:50,660
scared of physical touch
even with me,

482
00:22:50,660 --> 00:22:52,162
even though, you know,
we've known each other

483
00:22:52,162 --> 00:22:59,294
for ten years or whatever.
So how much are you? Would it be

484
00:22:57,666 --> 00:23:01,421
good to change? So in this case,
you've said you wanted to be

485
00:23:01,421 --> 00:23:06,968
that consistent rock
and like not change. Is that

486
00:23:06,968 --> 00:23:09,471
like a selfish thing
on your part then, or is that

487
00:23:09,471 --> 00:23:10,931
because you think
that's the best for them

488
00:23:10,931 --> 00:23:17,479
and this is where it's
getting into those? The pragmatic

489
00:23:12,932 --> 00:23:21,857
sort of doing is is it best to
do what you think is, is

490
00:23:21,942 --> 00:23:24,193
they might want
superficially in the sense

491
00:23:24,193 --> 00:23:32,118
like they'll that they're hurting
and so they that maybe

492
00:23:27,696 --> 00:23:33,702
they're bitching about a
an ex-girlfriend or something

493
00:23:33,702 --> 00:23:37,457
and they're just bitching
and moaning about them

494
00:23:35,204 --> 00:23:38,625
and they and you're like, okay,
I can see that kind of

495
00:23:38,625 --> 00:23:40,961
want me to join in
on this bitching

496
00:23:39,500 --> 00:23:42,711
and moaning about them,
you know, put,

497
00:23:40,961 --> 00:23:44,923
put the stab in the back.
But yeah, but you're

498
00:23:42,711 --> 00:23:46,048
kind of thinking like.
They're going to be

499
00:23:44,923 --> 00:23:48,759
probably, yeah.
Probably for the best

500
00:23:46,048 --> 00:23:52,596
to not do that because it's, it's
not healthy for them. Well yeah

501
00:23:52,596 --> 00:23:54,516
I'll tell you probably
here's a couple of points.

502
00:23:54,516 --> 00:23:59,019
One on my first point I say I'm
trying to think of this

503
00:23:59,019 --> 00:24:00,396
sort of system
would break at some point.

504
00:24:00,396 --> 00:24:05,026
I'm sure it would,
but I think the default

505
00:24:00,939 --> 00:24:06,403
is still remain the same
until proven otherwise.

506
00:24:06,403 --> 00:24:09,614
And that is not working anymore.
And then, you know, you invest

507
00:24:08,238 --> 00:24:11,240
into the relationship
in whatever way form it is

508
00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:12,741
so that it does
make a difference.

509
00:24:12,741 --> 00:24:14,577
Again, you know,
that example of someone

510
00:24:14,577 --> 00:24:16,621
completely changing
on a really close person,

511
00:24:16,621 --> 00:24:20,291
it's still trying to be the same.
Perhaps you got to control shit

512
00:24:20,291 --> 00:24:21,585
that's actually not
working. Cool.

513
00:24:21,585 --> 00:24:24,837
Okay, now time to invest.
A lot of time to make sure

514
00:24:23,086 --> 00:24:25,588
that that improves.
And how do you fix it?

515
00:24:25,588 --> 00:24:27,507
And what I'm
calling it, that happens

516
00:24:27,507 --> 00:24:29,175
and that can happen
with friendships.

517
00:24:29,175 --> 00:24:33,221
But the second point that you're
more talking about, which was,

518
00:24:33,221 --> 00:24:35,765
you talking about now so as.
Well, I good point.

519
00:24:35,765 --> 00:24:39,935
The other thing that would be
is getting getting back to that

520
00:24:38,684 --> 00:24:43,355
while you being able to change
and then I was thinking. Yes, yes

521
00:24:41,563 --> 00:24:47,903
yes closing a place.
So the things for running

522
00:24:43,355 --> 00:24:49,362
into so far for myself
I'd also find like in myself

523
00:24:49,362 --> 00:24:52,907
with other relationships
that I also change over time.

524
00:24:52,907 --> 00:24:59,663
And I've seen that in the
conversations

525
00:24:55,785 --> 00:25:01,500
that I bring in over time
as and then

526
00:24:59,748 --> 00:25:04,085
that becomes consistent.
So over time it's changed,

527
00:25:04,085 --> 00:25:08,798
but then as it changes,
it does still become constant

528
00:25:06,253 --> 00:25:10,842
in some period of time.
So what I mean by this,

529
00:25:10,842 --> 00:25:12,885
that example of, you know,
you're having a conversation

530
00:25:12,885 --> 00:25:14,554
with someone or a friend,
you're bitching about

531
00:25:14,554 --> 00:25:17,891
people or a workplace,
something do all the time

532
00:25:17,973 --> 00:25:21,560
join in, let's go have this good,
because that was social capital

533
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:23,355
that was building in a community
that you built this

534
00:25:23,355 --> 00:25:27,107
this connection with. We're
not not completely out of

535
00:25:27,107 --> 00:25:29,109
out of that now,
but there's aspects of it.

536
00:25:29,109 --> 00:25:31,363
I'm starting to change in
just the way that I'm influenced.

537
00:25:31,363 --> 00:25:34,657
And I'm looking at the world,
especially once again for me.

538
00:25:34,657 --> 00:25:38,244
I've got a little girl, she's
going to be growing up

539
00:25:35,825 --> 00:25:39,203
an area, some of the areas
I'm reading and stuff like that.

540
00:25:39,203 --> 00:25:42,164
I mean common sense.
Do do you want her

541
00:25:39,996 --> 00:25:43,415
to grow up in a space
where she hears

542
00:25:43,415 --> 00:25:46,294
people complaining
about people and, you know,

543
00:25:44,875 --> 00:25:47,836
making nice things?
Or do you want her

544
00:25:46,294 --> 00:25:49,838
in a space where you're
taking ownership, you're kind of

545
00:25:49,838 --> 00:25:52,424
painting people
in as much of a positive

546
00:25:52,424 --> 00:25:54,134
light of seeing other
potential avenues

547
00:25:54,134 --> 00:25:56,930
where, you know, hey, this person
that was doing this and whatever.

548
00:25:56,930 --> 00:26:00,307
And so I, you know, my
my natural tendency

549
00:26:00,307 --> 00:26:02,018
starting to become
not always designed

550
00:26:02,018 --> 00:26:04,645
to become like that.
Perhaps I had a really

551
00:26:03,353 --> 00:26:07,398
shitty morning and something
really bad happened and they just

552
00:26:05,771 --> 00:26:09,276
when they're giving
the benefit of the doubt

553
00:26:07,398 --> 00:26:09,942
and just Yeah,
that's what I think.

554
00:26:09,942 --> 00:26:13,613
So yes, it is slight.
So even for myself

555
00:26:11,861 --> 00:26:15,824
and my relationships
with people, it's

556
00:26:13,613 --> 00:26:17,075
slightly changing.
But in that change it

557
00:26:17,075 --> 00:26:18,701
remains constant for
at least a period of time.

558
00:26:18,701 --> 00:26:20,494
So I'm not like some clown
where all of a sudden

559
00:26:20,494 --> 00:26:22,497
one day it's this
and the next day it's

560
00:26:22,497 --> 00:26:26,960
completely different.
So there are

561
00:26:23,373 --> 00:26:28,752
there is some rigidity, albeit
some flexibility over time

562
00:26:28,752 --> 00:26:30,462
with that dictates
even for myself

563
00:26:30,462 --> 00:26:33,883
to other relationships. Yeah,
I was just thinking

564
00:26:32,048 --> 00:26:36,051
maybe like the best friend
would be one or best partner.

565
00:26:36,051 --> 00:26:40,848
Our best relation would be one
who is able to adapt but

566
00:26:40,932 --> 00:26:43,602
kind of wants to drag it
back to how it used to be.

567
00:26:43,602 --> 00:26:45,811
In a sense, I know that
kind of sounds bad and

568
00:26:45,811 --> 00:26:50,817
you're living in the past,
but for example, with the

569
00:26:48,397 --> 00:26:53,278
the partner who's now,
you know, afraid of you

570
00:26:50,817 --> 00:26:55,696
sexually can't, can't even manage
thought of, of interacting

571
00:26:55,696 --> 00:26:58,325
with you sexually
or something like that.

572
00:26:58,407 --> 00:27:00,492
You'd probably
want to adapt to that. Yeah.

573
00:27:00,492 --> 00:27:01,869
You know, it's not like,
hey, let's,

574
00:27:01,869 --> 00:27:05,539
let's have sex tonight
sort of deal That's, that's

575
00:27:03,454 --> 00:27:07,709
not going to go well.
But you might be wanting

576
00:27:05,539 --> 00:27:10,252
to, like,
try and go through therapy

577
00:27:07,709 --> 00:27:11,921
or ways to drag it back
to perhaps

578
00:27:10,252 --> 00:27:13,131
how it used to be. Yeah.
And maybe even the vice versa.

579
00:27:13,131 --> 00:27:16,800
Maybe like they're bored with you
and they want to explore

580
00:27:14,465 --> 00:27:18,553
out into all these, like, crazy
different sexual fantasies

581
00:27:18,553 --> 00:27:21,597
and things like that.
Maybe you're like,

582
00:27:20,262 --> 00:27:24,933
All right, yeah. You know,
if we if, if, like,

583
00:27:22,140 --> 00:27:25,852
the relationship
is not going to work,

584
00:27:25,852 --> 00:27:29,064
it's not being fulfilled
with you and me to sell.

585
00:27:29,064 --> 00:27:31,357
It is like, maybe let's,
let's step and branch out.

586
00:27:31,357 --> 00:27:33,902
But, you know, we want to
come back to the core.

587
00:27:33,902 --> 00:27:38,740
This is right. We're together
sort of thing. This came up

588
00:27:36,488 --> 00:27:41,409
just so I watched the Mr.
Nimbus episode of Rick

589
00:27:38,740 --> 00:27:45,079
and Morty last night
and Beth and Jerry

590
00:27:41,409 --> 00:27:47,207
were like branching out,
trying to explore

591
00:27:45,079 --> 00:27:48,833
new things sexually.
And there is this

592
00:27:47,207 --> 00:27:49,459
in one of the New Seasons
season five.

593
00:27:49,459 --> 00:27:54,130
So it's not that new, but
yeah, but then like, it turns out

594
00:27:52,503 --> 00:27:55,339
like they're both just doing it
because they think that's

595
00:27:55,339 --> 00:27:56,840
what the other person
wants once again.

596
00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:59,510
But getting back to that
mind reading, it's like,

597
00:27:59,510 --> 00:28:01,429
I thought you wanted that.
No, I didn't really want this.

598
00:28:01,429 --> 00:28:02,888
Well, okay,
we don't have to do it.

599
00:28:02,888 --> 00:28:04,391
And then of course,
the door opens and they go.

600
00:28:04,391 --> 00:28:07,769
And so, yeah.
Station setting, folks,

601
00:28:07,769 --> 00:28:09,186
let's put a little bit pause.
We're going to go into the

602
00:28:09,186 --> 00:28:10,689
basic outlines
before we continue on

603
00:28:10,689 --> 00:28:14,608
with figuring out
relationships again

604
00:28:11,355 --> 00:28:16,193
if your life of every drop
in some comments 7 p.m.

605
00:28:16,193 --> 00:28:19,154
Now Boosta Gram Lounge
is a chance for us

606
00:28:17,653 --> 00:28:21,700
to call out the people
who are supporting

607
00:28:19,154 --> 00:28:22,325
the show. Through.
The monetary way

608
00:28:22,325 --> 00:28:24,243
of sending through Grams,
which is messages

609
00:28:24,243 --> 00:28:28,373
which are totally attached
to this. There are people

610
00:28:26,453 --> 00:28:31,542
who stream in as well, which is
definitely something

611
00:28:29,289 --> 00:28:32,585
that we get supported by,
But here we just like to call out

612
00:28:32,585 --> 00:28:37,507
those be scams as well.
So I'm going to jump in to

613
00:28:34,253 --> 00:28:41,594
those boostagrams now.
So it should be from

614
00:28:37,548 --> 00:28:44,180
the 10th onwards is what?
Well, and. On where.

615
00:28:44,180 --> 00:28:47,683
It's correct. Okay.
So so I can call that

616
00:28:45,723 --> 00:28:50,603
some streaming. We had MKR,
it was streaming the T.J.

617
00:28:50,603 --> 00:28:53,897
Dor full episode.
That was not too long ago.

618
00:28:53,897 --> 00:28:59,112
I can also see we had,
who was this use a1205 number.

619
00:28:59,112 --> 00:29:02,865
La la la la. Thank you very much.
Change your username

620
00:29:01,155 --> 00:29:06,118
if you want us to
call you family. and yeah,

621
00:29:06,118 --> 00:29:08,163
those were the main ones
that I saw recently.

622
00:29:08,163 --> 00:29:09,873
Beautiful. Now,
I got a couple here.

623
00:29:09,873 --> 00:29:11,750
I hadn't actually checked
this recently, but there you go.

624
00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:15,044
We are a little bit full,
so we got one called McCormick.

625
00:29:15,044 --> 00:29:19,214
I mean, podcasting is personal
with the choice to do ads

626
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:21,134
and get the biggest name
for an interview like Williamson.

627
00:29:21,134 --> 00:29:23,344
Everyone copies Rogan,
but he did it naturally

628
00:29:23,344 --> 00:29:27,640
and the guest and topics evolved
because he learns

629
00:29:24,846 --> 00:29:29,392
from those conversations.
The most successful people

630
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:30,852
adapt the strategy to the field
and current challenges.

631
00:29:30,852 --> 00:29:32,604
The VP of E Show
is a great opportunity

632
00:29:32,604 --> 00:29:34,855
to adapt to the new field.
That is easy for me.

633
00:29:34,855 --> 00:29:38,151
Not Rove ducks to does
222 sets using fountain.

634
00:29:38,317 --> 00:29:41,653
Well, thank you. Yeah,
I actually had something.

635
00:29:41,653 --> 00:29:45,157
What? I said Yeah.
Rogan got so popular

636
00:29:42,864 --> 00:29:50,078
because he put in those years
of work before he got popular on

637
00:29:47,618 --> 00:29:53,750
YouTube to do podcasting.
So it's kind of like to follow

638
00:29:51,830 --> 00:29:55,710
what your calling is,
I guess is is kind of

639
00:29:53,750 --> 00:29:57,461
what I took from that.
And I was like,

640
00:29:55,710 --> 00:30:00,673
Visa V is my calling. Yeah, look.
I was thinking about this

641
00:29:59,255 --> 00:30:02,674
and I was like, I want to be
in a few years time,

642
00:30:02,674 --> 00:30:06,429
I'm going to be undeniably
I'm immortal. Okay.

643
00:30:06,429 --> 00:30:09,097
That's undeniably me immortal.
What does that mean?

644
00:30:09,097 --> 00:30:11,518
And what it means is
just look at is

645
00:30:11,518 --> 00:30:14,229
I don't want to be a copy
of Rogan or Williamson.

646
00:30:14,229 --> 00:30:19,150
I just want to be undeniably me
and more than me

647
00:30:16,146 --> 00:30:20,902
And all of that thing is
what's the things that are going

648
00:30:19,901 --> 00:30:23,904
to exemplify me
through a conversation,

649
00:30:20,902 --> 00:30:25,656
through whatever I do?
Even just off the back of today,

650
00:30:25,656 --> 00:30:29,493
I had a weird conversation
as I was leaving work and it

651
00:30:29,493 --> 00:30:33,163
by maybe a connection of one
or two people led to the Prime

652
00:30:31,703 --> 00:30:34,207
Minister of Australia
and it was something to do.

653
00:30:34,207 --> 00:30:37,376
Some work that we're doing
for the Prime Minister and like

654
00:30:35,583 --> 00:30:40,797
those little connections
and just show those

655
00:30:37,376 --> 00:30:41,923
some conversations and the things
that I was doing

656
00:30:41,923 --> 00:30:46,385
and just put again, story
storytelling that has this

657
00:30:44,675 --> 00:30:50,347
particular person which who
is not too far away from

658
00:30:47,761 --> 00:30:51,516
a very influential person
to do things.

659
00:30:51,516 --> 00:30:53,101
And now I'm not saying
obviously connect

660
00:30:53,101 --> 00:30:55,478
to the Prime Minister,
but I am saying that

661
00:30:55,478 --> 00:30:59,190
I'm very undeniably me and moral
in the things that I do

662
00:30:57,188 --> 00:31:01,317
and I do them well.
I do them very well.

663
00:30:59,190 --> 00:31:03,694
So more of that. I want to have
conversations where

664
00:31:03,694 --> 00:31:05,238
I'm talking to people,
which allows me to do

665
00:31:05,238 --> 00:31:07,490
that, have topics
that allows me to do that.

666
00:31:07,490 --> 00:31:10,910
And so I think
that will naturally

667
00:31:10,993 --> 00:31:13,121
go to value that people
probably will listen to

668
00:31:13,121 --> 00:31:16,124
in a way broadening its
value for the listeners.

669
00:31:16,290 --> 00:31:17,709
And hopefully
we get value in time.

670
00:31:17,709 --> 00:31:23,423
You know what I want
to be undeniably here. We got the

671
00:31:19,919 --> 00:31:25,633
the probably like one,
but it's not it's

672
00:31:23,506 --> 00:31:28,260
not silly on the song
the probably something like the

673
00:31:28,260 --> 00:31:30,430
the undeniable V
for the consultant

674
00:31:30,430 --> 00:31:32,765
or something like that.
It's like if you want to

675
00:31:32,765 --> 00:31:35,684
if you want to know
about value for value,

676
00:31:35,684 --> 00:31:38,813
how to implement it in your show
or the philosophy

677
00:31:37,144 --> 00:31:41,648
or something like that.
Okay, I want. My name

678
00:31:38,813 --> 00:31:42,400
to kind of be coming up.
So people say like.

679
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:44,527
We need a better name here,
because I'll tell you why.

680
00:31:44,527 --> 00:31:47,321
There's OGs of Bitcoin.
I don't know if this is on

681
00:31:47,321 --> 00:31:49,865
all the countries,
but here in Australia

682
00:31:47,946 --> 00:31:51,701
that I know for sure,
all of them have nicknames. Okay,

683
00:31:51,701 --> 00:31:54,913
All of all of the OG Bitcoin
guys have like particular

684
00:31:53,076 --> 00:31:56,663
nicknames. I don't know.
It isn't like a handle

685
00:31:54,913 --> 00:31:57,707
on the bitcoin. Well,
I don't know if it was

686
00:31:57,707 --> 00:32:01,044
that or something else.
Like some people like,

687
00:32:01,085 --> 00:32:04,713
like Bitcoin dad, Bitcoin
Greybeard and other guys like.

688
00:32:04,713 --> 00:32:07,424
Wizard of Oz. And I don't know
if it's like they

689
00:32:07,424 --> 00:32:11,596
had names on on a sudden
like forum

690
00:32:09,551 --> 00:32:13,181
or something like that,
but we need something

691
00:32:11,596 --> 00:32:14,222
for like a B for, for you
because yeah, it would be like

692
00:32:14,222 --> 00:32:16,476
the reason I'm still thinking
like V for V group,

693
00:32:16,476 --> 00:32:18,185
it's got to be something
more catchy, you know.

694
00:32:18,185 --> 00:32:21,855
Going to be like
I was tempted to change

695
00:32:18,853 --> 00:32:25,276
all my profiles to V
for V consultant and then have I.

696
00:32:25,359 --> 00:32:28,445
Changed my Instagram handle
to one on the school me model?

697
00:32:28,445 --> 00:32:31,199
Okay. Yeah, that's. Undeniable.
I'd be able to send this call me.

698
00:32:31,199 --> 00:32:34,160
On the on the knob.
Thank you very much. Cool.

699
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:38,998
We got no one from Brand
de Leary, Brian W.

700
00:32:39,082 --> 00:32:42,085
Brian d. D earlier. Yeah, Yeah.
Thanks. Hundreds. Hundred.

701
00:32:42,085 --> 00:32:44,962
That's you. You found it.
Thanks, Brian. Thank you.

702
00:32:44,962 --> 00:32:47,173
He might be a no agenda
guy. That's a look.

703
00:32:47,173 --> 00:32:48,715
I know there's
a couple of Brian's

704
00:32:48,715 --> 00:32:53,304
floating around there now.
I got a couple of good ones

705
00:32:50,550 --> 00:32:55,932
from the undeniable Peter.
B to. Roll docs to do to

706
00:32:53,304 --> 00:32:57,474
to talk to you. You found in
Good Luck. Happy New Year.

707
00:32:57,474 --> 00:33:01,144
Thank you very much, sir.
Thank you. And I, Peter,

708
00:33:01,229 --> 00:33:04,315
we've now learned why Khan
has an aversion to coding.

709
00:33:04,315 --> 00:33:07,484
It took your dad away
from suck time. It's all starting

710
00:33:06,150 --> 00:33:08,987
to make sense.
Another redux. Absolutely.

711
00:33:08,987 --> 00:33:12,906
So it doesn't do harm to society.
If it was just repression, there.

712
00:33:12,906 --> 00:33:15,660
Was repression
from not wanting to do it.

713
00:33:15,660 --> 00:33:21,249
That was stopping me from coding.
Maybe. And I'm pretty sure

714
00:33:18,246 --> 00:33:22,959
it's not that, But. But maybe.
And then a big boy,

715
00:33:22,959 --> 00:33:25,461
20,000 SATs, he found
a great conversation.

716
00:33:25,461 --> 00:33:28,047
Good luck in all your
endeavours, Cole. Thanks.

717
00:33:28,047 --> 00:33:30,090
Obviously the conversation
with Karl. Yeah, thank you.

718
00:33:30,090 --> 00:33:33,385
So just on that,
you might notice that

719
00:33:33,469 --> 00:33:38,891
you actually probably
got 6000 SATs for that

720
00:33:34,386 --> 00:33:42,769
because 6666
actually because the 30%

721
00:33:38,891 --> 00:33:44,396
that I had put in for call
fountains, just it's not working

722
00:33:44,396 --> 00:33:47,357
as good as it is to say.
Fountain good to step up

723
00:33:45,355 --> 00:33:48,526
your game here.
Yeah that's wrong.

724
00:33:48,526 --> 00:33:50,778
I'm chatting with Nixon,
so I'll actually

725
00:33:49,609 --> 00:33:54,156
bring that up with him.
But yeah, not to worry

726
00:33:50,778 --> 00:33:55,575
about the message.
And you've got the SATs,

727
00:33:54,156 --> 00:33:57,785
so. Good. Thank you very much.
Yeah, it's

728
00:33:56,409 --> 00:33:59,828
all good on that front.
But yeah, this is things

729
00:33:59,828 --> 00:34:03,290
that I mean they do happen
to be teething issues.

730
00:34:03,374 --> 00:34:06,335
And the last one here
we got from Alan See Paul

731
00:34:06,544 --> 00:34:08,920
Great episode. I agree
that the more advertisers

732
00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:10,465
and matters
try to force themselves

733
00:34:10,465 --> 00:34:12,884
into the podcast culture,
the more that we lose

734
00:34:12,884 --> 00:34:16,429
as the YouTube. I consider
my show podcasts that have a sub

735
00:34:15,010 --> 00:34:18,014
channel on YouTube,
but the audio is the main thing.

736
00:34:18,014 --> 00:34:23,268
When the accessibility
and protocols dictated by others,

737
00:34:19,514 --> 00:34:26,105
it ceases to be a podcast
that's 177% using podcast guru.

738
00:34:26,105 --> 00:34:28,483
Thank you very much.
And you might be

739
00:34:26,856 --> 00:34:31,193
one of those ones
you heard on the scramble

740
00:34:28,483 --> 00:34:34,197
that you liked
currently on the top 100

741
00:34:31,193 --> 00:34:36,324
and values of value music
you like one is he's number

742
00:34:36,324 --> 00:34:39,994
three with not far away
with unclassified hell.

743
00:34:40,119 --> 00:34:43,121
And honestly, dude, I am
so surprised that I liked

744
00:34:43,206 --> 00:34:47,126
some of that music. So I'm, I'm
very sticky

745
00:34:45,666 --> 00:34:48,835
with the type of music
that I don't deviate too far.

746
00:34:48,835 --> 00:34:51,088
So play one or two songs,
which have been my favourites

747
00:34:51,088 --> 00:34:53,757
and I'm all well,
You might hear them

748
00:34:53,757 --> 00:34:56,385
on the both of value
show in the next month

749
00:34:56,385 --> 00:35:00,097
when I kick that up.
But yeah, that's a. Clever

750
00:34:57,427 --> 00:35:04,059
How sweet is that.
Can's about I'm actually.

751
00:35:04,143 --> 00:35:07,855
Genuinely.
Keen to see this valley

752
00:35:06,103 --> 00:35:09,731
for valley upset
because going to be

753
00:35:07,855 --> 00:35:12,400
kind of like a radio show.
Let's not talk at all. Like it's

754
00:35:11,025 --> 00:35:14,862
almost that level.
It's a bit of music in this.

755
00:35:14,862 --> 00:35:16,905
Yeah, I will have called
doing some quotes.

756
00:35:16,905 --> 00:35:18,574
I'll be doing some book.
I think it'll be fun.

757
00:35:18,574 --> 00:35:21,369
I think it'll be fun,
but yeah, yeah, yeah.

758
00:35:21,369 --> 00:35:24,454
Thank you. Thank you. L.A. Paul
Awesome to

759
00:35:24,454 --> 00:35:27,166
to hear that your journey
is going good

760
00:35:25,539 --> 00:35:29,460
and yeah, very nice.
We might cross paths

761
00:35:27,166 --> 00:35:30,128
at some point. Exactly.
Thank you very much, everyone

762
00:35:30,128 --> 00:35:32,713
who's been supporting this
with the boots against.

763
00:35:32,713 --> 00:35:35,340
A few more coming in, obviously
Peter with a big boy boost.

764
00:35:35,340 --> 00:35:39,219
Yeah helping out again
Anthony helps streaming boost

765
00:35:39,219 --> 00:35:42,306
sometimes a great long weeks
sometimes to get highs again

766
00:35:42,306 --> 00:35:44,976
we just trying to put out
good value to you.

767
00:35:44,976 --> 00:35:47,353
We're going to continue
to do that hopefully if you can

768
00:35:45,768 --> 00:35:47,936
continue supporting us.
Yeah that's. What helps.

769
00:35:47,936 --> 00:35:49,688
If you want to know
how to do that, go to me

770
00:35:49,688 --> 00:35:53,317
Models podcast dot
com slash support and you'll see

771
00:35:52,065 --> 00:35:54,152
on that page
I've got a run through

772
00:35:54,152 --> 00:35:56,987
of all the podcasting apps, links
to the podcasting apps

773
00:35:56,987 --> 00:35:59,157
which I can include
links on to because not

774
00:35:59,157 --> 00:36:02,742
all of them are have a web
based thing as well.

775
00:36:02,827 --> 00:36:07,164
So just good ones.
Fountain Pod versus

776
00:36:04,119 --> 00:36:09,625
podcast group are probably
the three most popular at

777
00:36:07,206 --> 00:36:15,130
the moment. Are and I also have
a PayPal link there if anyone

778
00:36:13,628 --> 00:36:17,925
wanted to use it,
they still have not yet,

779
00:36:15,130 --> 00:36:20,594
so to say.
Just saying just want to

780
00:36:17,925 --> 00:36:22,471
send us a little PayPal.
If you want to be

781
00:36:20,594 --> 00:36:24,806
the first thing, be available,
create that core memory.

782
00:36:24,806 --> 00:36:27,226
Credit Memory lane.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

783
00:36:27,226 --> 00:36:32,231
Fill up memory lane.
Here's another one a nicely

784
00:36:29,519 --> 00:36:32,690
the friendly word one
I think, you know

785
00:36:32,690 --> 00:36:34,650
in relationships we're talking
about relationships

786
00:36:34,650 --> 00:36:40,364
and building good
relationship on makes one

787
00:36:35,358 --> 00:36:41,657
I think bringing a snack
brings a snack

788
00:36:41,657 --> 00:36:47,246
to your relationship. Now
can't explain doesn't

789
00:36:44,659 --> 00:36:49,123
bring doesn't bring. No snack So.
You're not a snack.

790
00:36:49,123 --> 00:36:51,918
What does that mean?
Generally, most people,

791
00:36:51,918 --> 00:36:53,710
if you go to them
and you bring the snack,

792
00:36:53,710 --> 00:36:55,838
I'm thinking workplace, you're
bringing them to him.

793
00:36:55,838 --> 00:36:57,840
They're going to have a
tip that you partner

794
00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:01,969
these my partner, they need to.
Like straight away. That's

795
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:05,222
what's great about it.
Wow. Made my family other friends

796
00:37:05,306 --> 00:37:09,309
when you are dynamic
it join it but

797
00:37:09,393 --> 00:37:11,728
it's fruit aside it brings
like what I mean it's

798
00:37:11,728 --> 00:37:13,648
I think the best
relationships again

799
00:37:13,648 --> 00:37:17,108
you to them in them to you
find the people

800
00:37:15,233 --> 00:37:20,028
that will be the one
where I think you need

801
00:37:17,108 --> 00:37:22,447
to bring the snack a.k.a
bring the thing

802
00:37:20,028 --> 00:37:24,115
that the person needs
because you know them

803
00:37:22,447 --> 00:37:27,869
through a relationship. I think
good relationships,

804
00:37:24,951 --> 00:37:31,831
friendships, partners
again, kids, whatever

805
00:37:27,869 --> 00:37:33,251
it may be, you need to one
have invested enough in them

806
00:37:33,251 --> 00:37:37,505
that you know them
to some degree but to.

807
00:37:37,588 --> 00:37:42,425
Met. Not so much reliably
but when you need to not reliably

808
00:37:42,425 --> 00:37:44,512
but when you need to
bring them a snack,

809
00:37:44,512 --> 00:37:48,766
bring them the thing
that that person needs. A.K.A

810
00:37:46,931 --> 00:37:50,893
good friend mentioned.
I'll give you example

811
00:37:48,766 --> 00:37:53,353
and again this is not like
manipulate is not hey this is not

812
00:37:53,353 --> 00:37:56,273
this is not manipulative
this is like out of a caring

813
00:37:56,273 --> 00:37:59,110
so I know you know about
it's just the

814
00:37:59,110 --> 00:38:03,030
you know he recently got
a movement of a

815
00:38:01,487 --> 00:38:04,657
of a job profession
right to move from

816
00:38:03,030 --> 00:38:06,826
one area to another area. Didn't.
Even know he actually got any job

817
00:38:06,826 --> 00:38:09,244
any job is
could I mention moved off

818
00:38:09,244 --> 00:38:11,121
consulting which we've
done for many, many years.

819
00:38:11,121 --> 00:38:14,791
Set into a full time
relaxed position way

820
00:38:14,791 --> 00:38:18,713
high pay loving position
for down and so.

821
00:38:18,795 --> 00:38:22,007
He passes anyway.
Yeah he kept the very

822
00:38:20,047 --> 00:38:24,427
quiet kept it very quiet.
Well it was kind of interesting.

823
00:38:24,427 --> 00:38:28,431
It was interesting in the sense
that in this transition,

824
00:38:28,514 --> 00:38:31,349
my snack,
what I would bring to him

825
00:38:31,349 --> 00:38:33,436
in this momentous
occasion was to kill.

826
00:38:33,436 --> 00:38:35,896
Let's go celebrate and kill.
Let's go have a tequila.

827
00:38:35,896 --> 00:38:39,608
Let's enjoy it.
Let's have a chat. It is what

828
00:38:38,148 --> 00:38:40,650
I know that he wants
the celebratory aspect

829
00:38:40,650 --> 00:38:44,739
to congratulatory the enjoyment.
And we had a great time. Yeah.

830
00:38:44,739 --> 00:38:48,659
Weirdly enough,
in that interaction of me

831
00:38:45,655 --> 00:38:50,661
bringing a snack,
some drinks and good

832
00:38:48,784 --> 00:38:53,621
time and chatting,
he then also shared

833
00:38:50,661 --> 00:38:56,416
with me that part of the
idea of moving and this kind of

834
00:38:55,123 --> 00:38:58,001
touched me a little bit.
He said, You know,

835
00:38:58,001 --> 00:39:00,128
part of that I wanted to
check with his partner,

836
00:39:00,128 --> 00:39:02,297
go to make sure that, you
know, I want to do this.

837
00:39:02,297 --> 00:39:03,965
But you all told me
what the check if this job

838
00:39:03,965 --> 00:39:07,844
movement was right, it was me.
He wanted to ask me, Hey,

839
00:39:05,675 --> 00:39:09,096
should I do this or not?
And I talked to him

840
00:39:07,844 --> 00:39:10,722
a couple of weeks back about this
and whatever.

841
00:39:10,722 --> 00:39:13,726
And so in the act of me
taking a snack,

842
00:39:13,851 --> 00:39:17,355
I guess a more deeper
relationship was built

843
00:39:17,438 --> 00:39:19,481
out of me bringing this
this person kind of need it.

844
00:39:19,481 --> 00:39:21,942
And I thought, That's cool.
Now I give you other examples,

845
00:39:21,942 --> 00:39:24,235
but I think it all boils
down to other people,

846
00:39:24,235 --> 00:39:27,489
partners, families.
Now it's different in each place.

847
00:39:27,489 --> 00:39:30,117
Not every time
do you bring a snack

848
00:39:30,117 --> 00:39:32,952
the thing that the person needs.
But I think you should be ready

849
00:39:32,952 --> 00:39:35,623
at the drop of a hat
to bring what that person needs.

850
00:39:35,623 --> 00:39:38,166
Again, someone else
just a random might be.

851
00:39:38,166 --> 00:39:41,795
Hey, I know that they
really like high energy and cool.

852
00:39:41,795 --> 00:39:44,632
I can drop a starter,
I can be really energetic

853
00:39:43,422 --> 00:39:45,965
and shit. You bring them
up. Awesome.

854
00:39:45,965 --> 00:39:48,760
Others might just be like,
Hey, they need

855
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:51,472
stillness or quietness,
or just the ability

856
00:39:51,472 --> 00:39:54,141
of being like, Shut the fuck up,
we're going to go workout.

857
00:39:54,141 --> 00:39:56,101
Okay, cool.
I can do that. Let's go.

858
00:39:56,101 --> 00:39:58,896
And they enjoy that.
So, you know, it's

859
00:39:58,896 --> 00:40:01,356
it's in the relationships
that you care about.

860
00:40:01,356 --> 00:40:03,400
Do you want it to be
a good relationship? Good.

861
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:05,860
Be ready to be able
to bring the snack

862
00:40:05,860 --> 00:40:08,447
when you need to. Not every time
I I'm to say don't

863
00:40:07,278 --> 00:40:09,614
bring it every time.
Because if you do it every time,

864
00:40:09,614 --> 00:40:11,492
then that becomes a norm
and that's the expectation.

865
00:40:11,492 --> 00:40:13,911
So I would say, okay,
that's interesting.

866
00:40:13,911 --> 00:40:16,454
I've got something
which is semi close to

867
00:40:16,454 --> 00:40:21,668
this and I wrote this down
is like what is one of

868
00:40:18,666 --> 00:40:24,045
the most important things
I would probably put above

869
00:40:21,793 --> 00:40:26,590
almost all of
in a good relationship

870
00:40:24,045 --> 00:40:30,885
with someone else.
And that is just being

871
00:40:26,590 --> 00:40:34,889
available to be honest. So
I've planning on travelling in

872
00:40:32,387 --> 00:40:36,434
the next couple of months
and I'll probably be away

873
00:40:34,889 --> 00:40:38,351
for like four months.
That's that's the rough

874
00:40:36,434 --> 00:40:40,728
road in my head.
And I've been looking

875
00:40:38,351 --> 00:40:44,023
after my brother's puppy
for a fair bit recently

876
00:40:40,728 --> 00:40:44,900
and Butters is his name.
It's a little,

877
00:40:44,900 --> 00:40:48,570
little cute as cute
as Golden Retriever.

878
00:40:48,570 --> 00:40:53,409
And you'll see him
on the screen. And, you know,

879
00:40:52,324 --> 00:40:55,536
I was thinking like,
will he remember me

880
00:40:53,409 --> 00:40:58,998
when I go away?
And I was thinking

881
00:40:55,536 --> 00:41:00,875
because I'm not the best,
like not the best trainer.

882
00:41:00,875 --> 00:41:04,295
I don't know how to train him.
Well, my brother's got him doing

883
00:41:03,043 --> 00:41:07,715
all these cool tricks.
He just let the gun one

884
00:41:04,295 --> 00:41:09,675
issue too many falls down.
I'm not probably the most

885
00:41:09,675 --> 00:41:13,637
caring of individuals with him.
Like I'll play with him.

886
00:41:13,637 --> 00:41:17,474
But it's I'm not like
matching his puppy energy by far.

887
00:41:17,474 --> 00:41:19,643
Yeah I can I can match it
for a little bit,

888
00:41:19,643 --> 00:41:22,855
but I'm only going over like,
you know, half an hour

889
00:41:21,353 --> 00:41:24,565
twice a day
while my brother's out

890
00:41:22,855 --> 00:41:25,815
at work to to,
like, look after him.

891
00:41:25,815 --> 00:41:30,695
I'm not the. Like most
knowledgeable on dogs.

892
00:41:30,695 --> 00:41:35,034
I'm not even the most
perhaps loving because I still

893
00:41:35,034 --> 00:41:38,496
operate in play with him and but
he's a little bit nippy

894
00:41:37,077 --> 00:41:40,831
at the moment so I'm keeping like
a little bit of distance.

895
00:41:40,831 --> 00:41:44,751
I don't want to get my hands too
close to his mouth because he's

896
00:41:44,751 --> 00:41:46,628
not is not going to like
kill me or anything.

897
00:41:46,628 --> 00:41:50,173
But I've I've had trauma
from dogs bite me in the past.

898
00:41:50,173 --> 00:41:52,842
And so I've.
Been you know, I've got

899
00:41:50,798 --> 00:41:54,302
audio proof of this.
Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

900
00:41:54,302 --> 00:41:57,931
And so I've always been
a bit iffy with dogs.

901
00:41:58,014 --> 00:42:00,391
I'm actually
becoming a lot better.

902
00:42:00,391 --> 00:42:03,978
I don't know if it's with dogs
or if it's just with him.

903
00:42:04,021 --> 00:42:06,190
I'm. I'm thinking
it's like just with him.

904
00:42:06,190 --> 00:42:09,360
With him. But, but in case,
like I was, I was going through

905
00:42:08,608 --> 00:42:12,237
all this and I was like,
okay, well, am I even, like,

906
00:42:12,237 --> 00:42:14,614
good to But is it
am I am I being a good

907
00:42:14,614 --> 00:42:18,994
I don't know if you
call it pet owner, a good

908
00:42:19,077 --> 00:42:24,083
dog set up. Am I, am I good dog.
Sit up now. Go on.

909
00:42:21,454 --> 00:42:25,918
You know what I do?
Show up every day.

910
00:42:24,083 --> 00:42:29,838
They're my brother.
My brother native me says

911
00:42:25,918 --> 00:42:33,175
having to go out to work.
You know, I live close

912
00:42:29,922 --> 00:42:35,302
and I am available
and free with my time to

913
00:42:35,302 --> 00:42:40,224
to kind of go and do things what
I want to do with them. So

914
00:42:40,306 --> 00:42:43,476
and I have been showing up.
I haven't missed a single one.

915
00:42:43,476 --> 00:42:47,021
And I've been very open
with with Prentice

916
00:42:47,021 --> 00:42:49,650
and just saying like, hey, if you
if you need more help,

917
00:42:49,650 --> 00:42:51,485
like, let me know
I can help out more.

918
00:42:51,485 --> 00:42:54,487
I do have the capacity
to do that and it has,

919
00:42:54,487 --> 00:42:57,907
you know, resulted in me
having to shift around

920
00:42:55,989 --> 00:43:00,911
some of my gym things.
I'm typically going to the

921
00:42:57,907 --> 00:43:02,663
gym later now than I do,
and sometimes I have to

922
00:43:02,663 --> 00:43:06,375
almost shorten a lesson
or a lesson, a session to

923
00:43:06,458 --> 00:43:10,003
kind of hurry it up
or skip going to a class

924
00:43:10,003 --> 00:43:11,797
that I might have
wanted to go to afterwards

925
00:43:11,797 --> 00:43:13,673
because it's like, you know,
I've left him alone

926
00:43:13,673 --> 00:43:15,134
for three, three
and a half hours.

927
00:43:15,134 --> 00:43:20,806
He kind of needs to go out again.
So in that case,

928
00:43:17,469 --> 00:43:21,347
I'm thinking, you know,
I'm pretty good.

929
00:43:21,347 --> 00:43:26,978
I'm pretty good doctor
in that sense. And so

930
00:43:27,061 --> 00:43:30,065
I think I think it's
worth reiterating that,

931
00:43:30,273 --> 00:43:32,067
saying that you're
available to people,

932
00:43:32,067 --> 00:43:35,070
not necessarily
that you want to help

933
00:43:35,112 --> 00:43:38,532
is is the difference because
you might not enjoy

934
00:43:38,532 --> 00:43:40,701
the thing it is
that you're wanting to do.

935
00:43:40,701 --> 00:43:45,581
So, for example,
I've made it repeatedly

936
00:43:42,702 --> 00:43:47,498
clear to my dad, like,
if you need me to come home,

937
00:43:47,498 --> 00:43:49,835
just let me know
and I can look after Mum

938
00:43:49,835 --> 00:43:52,795
like and or
if you need to talk more,

939
00:43:52,795 --> 00:43:57,925
if you just need any help
whatsoever, help out with mum,

940
00:43:54,965 --> 00:43:59,762
just let me know.
I don't particularly enjoy

941
00:43:57,925 --> 00:44:02,347
it, to be honest.
It's one and it requires

942
00:43:59,762 --> 00:44:03,306
me driving.
I fucking hate driving.

943
00:44:03,306 --> 00:44:07,978
Hate. Everyone is. Hates driving.
But you know the last

944
00:44:05,224 --> 00:44:11,231
interactions with mum I've,
they've been more draining

945
00:44:08,936 --> 00:44:12,398
than they have been
fulfilling recently.

946
00:44:12,398 --> 00:44:13,775
A couple of them
have been pretty good.

947
00:44:13,775 --> 00:44:17,987
Have come out maybe net neutral,
but that was a period

948
00:44:15,943 --> 00:44:20,365
there where it was like
every time I went to see her

949
00:44:18,572 --> 00:44:23,952
just drain
my social battery drains,

950
00:44:20,365 --> 00:44:27,623
my, my energy levels
made me sad and I

951
00:44:24,036 --> 00:44:29,291
was like, fuck, you know,
this is where

952
00:44:27,706 --> 00:44:31,126
it's like, well, what's
what's a good son in this case?

953
00:44:31,126 --> 00:44:34,797
Well, I think it's one who
maybe doesn't enjoy

954
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:39,009
the process of of seeing a parent
like going through something

955
00:44:39,009 --> 00:44:42,346
truly awful, you know, gone
through dementia and Alzheimer's.

956
00:44:42,346 --> 00:44:45,849
But I would still show up
all the time as well. Yeah.

957
00:44:45,849 --> 00:44:48,059
And and just reiterating
that to someone

958
00:44:48,059 --> 00:44:49,894
because once again,
with the mind reading,

959
00:44:49,894 --> 00:44:52,898
I don't know exactly
how much help Dad needs.

960
00:44:53,106 --> 00:44:56,652
So he's got to let me
know, but just constantly

961
00:44:56,652 --> 00:44:59,405
kind of bringing that out.
Hey, you need help.

962
00:44:59,405 --> 00:45:02,782
Not, not constantly, but,
you know, at least

963
00:45:01,739 --> 00:45:04,784
probably like once
every two or three weeks,

964
00:45:02,782 --> 00:45:06,036
I'll say, hey, if you need more
help, like,

965
00:45:06,036 --> 00:45:07,913
just just let me know.
Yeah, maybe.

966
00:45:07,913 --> 00:45:10,123
Maybe I'd refine it or it
maybe it's similar,

967
00:45:10,123 --> 00:45:13,418
maybe slightly different,
but dependability. Dependability.

968
00:45:13,418 --> 00:45:17,715
In the in the case of again,
it falls back on me of being

969
00:45:17,797 --> 00:45:21,342
still the same rock slash
dependability

970
00:45:21,552 --> 00:45:24,221
slash the consistency in a
in a relationship,

971
00:45:24,221 --> 00:45:27,224
whatever that might be, in
whatever way it appears.

972
00:45:27,266 --> 00:45:29,434
If it needs to increase,
then you still display

973
00:45:29,434 --> 00:45:33,688
that the same dependability.
So especially we'd like

974
00:45:30,476 --> 00:45:35,315
to close relationships.
I would say, yeah, if you want to

975
00:45:35,315 --> 00:45:39,068
foster them to be better, be,
you know,

976
00:45:39,068 --> 00:45:43,239
say something and do the,
the thing that you would say,

977
00:45:41,070 --> 00:45:44,907
but also be dependable.
So, you know, you're saying,

978
00:45:44,907 --> 00:45:48,786
hey, I'm going to be doing this
and I can do it for you,

979
00:45:46,659 --> 00:45:50,414
then be dependable
and make that happen without,

980
00:45:50,414 --> 00:45:52,666
you know, deviating away
from whatever reason.

981
00:45:52,666 --> 00:45:56,545
Because all of a sudden
that becomes really,

982
00:45:53,291 --> 00:45:57,795
really important,
but maybe slightly

983
00:45:56,586 --> 00:45:59,590
different cause,
yeah, showing up, I guess, is

984
00:45:59,590 --> 00:46:01,300
being a little bit
more proactive and going,

985
00:46:01,300 --> 00:46:04,344
Hey, I now need to just
show up and be available

986
00:46:04,344 --> 00:46:08,264
and making myself
available for when. Yeah, I.

987
00:46:08,264 --> 00:46:10,476
Wouldn't even necessarily
say it's proactive.

988
00:46:10,476 --> 00:46:12,518
It's just, just
that availability aspect.

989
00:46:12,518 --> 00:46:16,648
I never want someone
to not come to me

990
00:46:16,648 --> 00:46:20,985
with something which is a
burning or pressing issue

991
00:46:21,068 --> 00:46:24,864
because they think
I wouldn't want them to

992
00:46:24,947 --> 00:46:28,994
or something like that. Yeah.
Or, or just be like,

993
00:46:28,994 --> 00:46:32,414
I just want for people
to think of me as the guy

994
00:46:32,414 --> 00:46:36,710
where it's like, okay,
you know, like, sure. Kieran

995
00:46:35,541 --> 00:46:40,005
would probably prefer
if he, if I could

996
00:46:36,710 --> 00:46:43,007
sort my own shit out, but,
you know, if I really needed

997
00:46:40,547 --> 00:46:45,135
to, he's, he's a guy I can go to
and he will be available.

998
00:46:45,135 --> 00:46:48,554
He won't just be like
brushing me for

999
00:46:46,844 --> 00:46:49,597
or something like that.
Yeah. No, no.

1000
00:46:49,597 --> 00:46:52,601
I mean there's a slight other one
though I was going to say,

1001
00:46:52,601 --> 00:46:55,646
but maybe
comes into that where it's

1002
00:46:55,728 --> 00:46:58,731
a relationship again,
whether from yourself

1003
00:46:58,731 --> 00:47:03,320
or the other person, but
built on less of judgement

1004
00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:07,032
or jealousy or,
envious ness or narcissism

1005
00:47:07,114 --> 00:47:11,994
to openness,
curiosity, understanding.

1006
00:47:12,036 --> 00:47:15,414
And so there's a lot
of things there, but just

1007
00:47:15,498 --> 00:47:18,251
keep it simple. It's I would want
a relationship,

1008
00:47:18,251 --> 00:47:22,797
whether it's a friend
or a partner or another person

1009
00:47:19,293 --> 00:47:26,217
or my kid way. That.
They are coming to me

1010
00:47:23,840 --> 00:47:29,762
or I'm not coming to them
with a apprehension

1011
00:47:26,217 --> 00:47:33,766
that the idea is going
to get rethought

1012
00:47:29,762 --> 00:47:37,186
or judged or questioned
in a non helpful manner or one

1013
00:47:37,228 --> 00:47:39,313
I'm going to I'm going
to be made to feel

1014
00:47:39,313 --> 00:47:41,817
in a negative sense
as opposed to, I think,

1015
00:47:41,817 --> 00:47:45,570
a good relationship,
at least that I see is one way.

1016
00:47:45,570 --> 00:47:49,199
Yes, it's factual
and it's not necessarily,

1017
00:47:49,282 --> 00:47:50,659
you know,
I don't want pom pom yeh

1018
00:47:50,659 --> 00:47:52,661
or you know you got to
and really get now

1019
00:47:52,661 --> 00:47:54,454
it's not going well. Cool.
Let's try to keep it factual.

1020
00:47:54,454 --> 00:47:56,956
Like I would want
the factual part of it,

1021
00:47:56,956 --> 00:48:01,670
but that it comes from a
compassionate, caring,

1022
00:47:59,166 --> 00:48:05,007
wanting to help perspective
as opposed to a

1023
00:48:05,090 --> 00:48:09,427
negative, jealous, envious path
where none of that doesn't

1024
00:48:09,427 --> 00:48:12,097
have to necessarily cut down.
But you know, you know, you know,

1025
00:48:11,054 --> 00:48:14,349
if you're if you're hearing this
and you kind of like, yeah,

1026
00:48:14,349 --> 00:48:15,766
maybe I've experienced
this with a friend

1027
00:48:15,766 --> 00:48:17,894
who didn't really want
that success from me.

1028
00:48:17,894 --> 00:48:19,896
I didn't want that, then
you know, you can feel it.

1029
00:48:19,896 --> 00:48:23,317
And so I'd say
just in generality, it's

1030
00:48:21,106 --> 00:48:25,527
those relationships
where you want more openness,

1031
00:48:25,527 --> 00:48:29,530
which then I guess
allows more truth and factual

1032
00:48:27,195 --> 00:48:33,076
seeking aspects of it,
as opposed to maybe that

1033
00:48:29,530 --> 00:48:34,786
pretending like.
I know my social media

1034
00:48:33,076 --> 00:48:36,621
type connection.
I this is the other mentality

1035
00:48:36,621 --> 00:48:41,668
I was thinking of is I think that
at some point or another

1036
00:48:38,664 --> 00:48:44,795
most people will have,
quote, acquired friends

1037
00:48:41,793 --> 00:48:46,965
who are more social media
esque level

1038
00:48:44,795 --> 00:48:49,467
or more digital friends
who are such surface

1039
00:48:46,965 --> 00:48:52,387
levels that you both
just showing the best

1040
00:48:49,467 --> 00:48:56,016
to each other and sorry,
you're not I would say you're

1041
00:48:53,764 --> 00:48:57,684
not really a relationship
as like a friend

1042
00:48:56,016 --> 00:48:59,811
or a friend or like you're
a you're like a a very sort of

1043
00:48:59,811 --> 00:49:01,730
I don't know what I call it,
but at the very surface level,

1044
00:49:01,730 --> 00:49:04,733
digital relationship
where you're only you're

1045
00:49:04,733 --> 00:49:08,070
only placing forward
what you want to be absorbed,

1046
00:49:08,070 --> 00:49:11,489
not the reality of what
lives within

1047
00:49:09,320 --> 00:49:13,407
and the deepness you miss.
All that kind of like a view,

1048
00:49:13,407 --> 00:49:15,911
learning a language and you learn
how to say something

1049
00:49:15,911 --> 00:49:18,914
that you're missing,
like all this underlying

1050
00:49:16,536 --> 00:49:20,289
core understanding
or from a sentence or something.

1051
00:49:20,289 --> 00:49:23,668
In a similar sense, I'd go, Yeah,
there's some aspects of

1052
00:49:23,668 --> 00:49:25,963
whether a relationship
is like a very,

1053
00:49:25,963 --> 00:49:28,757
very digital surface level
or just comes from

1054
00:49:28,757 --> 00:49:32,135
a different perspective. There's
some of those aspects

1055
00:49:32,135 --> 00:49:33,427
which I'd go,
I don't want to invest

1056
00:49:33,427 --> 00:49:38,557
in those relationships as much
or put a lot of weight

1057
00:49:34,804 --> 00:49:41,519
to those relationships.
But I guess my. Roommate's

1058
00:49:38,557 --> 00:49:45,190
been learning German.
She wants to go to Germany

1059
00:49:41,519 --> 00:49:47,567
and she was telling me
and she started doing some

1060
00:49:45,190 --> 00:49:50,070
like proper courses,
like some intensive. Yeah.

1061
00:49:50,070 --> 00:49:54,074
And she was just saying,
you know, one of the problems

1062
00:49:51,822 --> 00:49:55,117
with Duolingo is
you just don't know the grammar.

1063
00:49:55,117 --> 00:49:57,536
I don't know why
you say it this way.

1064
00:49:57,536 --> 00:50:00,956
You just say it this way.
And that's kind of the analogy,

1065
00:49:59,746 --> 00:50:02,708
you know, the Duolingo
of relationships.

1066
00:50:02,708 --> 00:50:06,711
Yeah, Yeah, that's probably good.
You kind of know it,

1067
00:50:03,958 --> 00:50:08,338
but it's it's it you don't know
what's deeper underneath

1068
00:50:08,338 --> 00:50:12,009
and is it
really going to help you?

1069
00:50:12,092 --> 00:50:16,429
It'll get you to a certain level,
but there's a barrier

1070
00:50:13,885 --> 00:50:18,639
where you need to cross
if you really want

1071
00:50:16,429 --> 00:50:20,391
to learn the language.
Yeah, learn,

1072
00:50:18,639 --> 00:50:21,643
be better friends or.
Something like that maybe.

1073
00:50:21,643 --> 00:50:25,063
And it is not to say that
you don't have

1074
00:50:22,768 --> 00:50:26,648
Duolingo relationships.
You can't have them.

1075
00:50:25,063 --> 00:50:29,192
They just surface level.
You accept them.

1076
00:50:26,648 --> 00:50:31,027
Portuguese for a while.
As long as you understand

1077
00:50:29,192 --> 00:50:32,653
that they have its limitations.
And then if you want to

1078
00:50:32,653 --> 00:50:35,322
transition them to, you know,
book level relationships,

1079
00:50:35,322 --> 00:50:39,702
you a deep and meaningful 20 hour
interview relationships,

1080
00:50:39,702 --> 00:50:41,371
you got to put the effort,
you got to put the investment.

1081
00:50:41,371 --> 00:50:45,458
So you be aware of that. Okay.
Just my final question here is

1082
00:50:45,458 --> 00:50:48,253
when have been the times
when you've been

1083
00:50:48,253 --> 00:50:52,423
not a good friend
or not a good partner or

1084
00:50:49,211 --> 00:50:54,717
not a good relationship?
And what was it

1085
00:50:52,423 --> 00:50:57,887
that you were doing
or was was happening

1086
00:50:54,717 --> 00:51:01,682
that resulted in that?
So for me, the times

1087
00:50:58,096 --> 00:51:04,061
where I've been the worst,
I don't know if you'd

1088
00:51:01,766 --> 00:51:08,565
call it like boyfriend
or the worst friend

1089
00:51:04,061 --> 00:51:09,148
was probably been when.
I've been just

1090
00:51:09,148 --> 00:51:16,989
very selfish, really
looking after myself, thinking of

1091
00:51:13,027 --> 00:51:20,159
only what I want and
not even, I guess,

1092
00:51:17,074 --> 00:51:22,454
to think about what
what they're going through

1093
00:51:20,367 --> 00:51:24,748
or what Or just,
just just thinking

1094
00:51:24,748 --> 00:51:28,085
in the relationship that
we have is very serving.

1095
00:51:28,085 --> 00:51:33,172
For me. Yeah, I had the,
the exact same point. And the

1096
00:51:32,172 --> 00:51:36,592
way that I write up
on the positive side

1097
00:51:33,172 --> 00:51:38,260
is it's, it's us, not me.
But so in the opposite

1098
00:51:38,260 --> 00:51:41,306
what hasn't worked out for me.
Same thing when it's it's been a

1099
00:51:41,306 --> 00:51:46,228
it's me not us type of deal.
So any I mean it'd be plenty

1100
00:51:44,476 --> 00:51:47,394
but there'd be a lot
a lot of times in the past

1101
00:51:47,394 --> 00:51:51,233
when it's a very
self-serving egotistic,

1102
00:51:51,315 --> 00:51:54,693
hey I'm kind of doing this, but
like I want to see

1103
00:51:53,235 --> 00:51:56,737
this investment
happen for me and you

1104
00:51:54,693 --> 00:51:58,030
going to help me do it.
I guess like an example,

1105
00:51:56,737 --> 00:51:59,574
just take a random
example would be

1106
00:51:59,574 --> 00:52:01,117
like if someone helped you
move house

1107
00:52:01,117 --> 00:52:03,202
and maybe they helped you
move house three times

1108
00:52:03,202 --> 00:52:07,123
and then do something else.
Then you kind of never

1109
00:52:04,871 --> 00:52:08,250
reciprocated
and didn't do anything

1110
00:52:08,250 --> 00:52:10,335
when they were kind of
reaching out or whatever.

1111
00:52:10,335 --> 00:52:13,088
Okay, that's probably a bit
where it's like

1112
00:52:11,503 --> 00:52:16,048
it's very much of me. Not a way
that's the probably

1113
00:52:13,963 --> 00:52:18,092
on them, on a relationship
that's probably

1114
00:52:16,048 --> 00:52:19,302
should be calling it out.
But obviously

1115
00:52:19,302 --> 00:52:21,972
if you were doing that
and no one's reciprocating back

1116
00:52:21,972 --> 00:52:23,722
and you kind of feel
shitty for it, okay,

1117
00:52:23,722 --> 00:52:25,474
there's probably an aspect
where it's it's

1118
00:52:25,474 --> 00:52:27,643
more of a me, not a
we that's happening

1119
00:52:27,643 --> 00:52:30,396
in that particular relationship.
Yeah, Yeah. And you can be

1120
00:52:30,396 --> 00:52:32,440
on the negative side
of this as well. You know,

1121
00:52:32,440 --> 00:52:34,568
you could be doing
all these things for other people

1122
00:52:34,568 --> 00:52:36,652
to be building
that social capital

1123
00:52:36,652 --> 00:52:38,405
that they should be
helping you in the future,

1124
00:52:38,405 --> 00:52:41,824
that sort of thing. And yeah,
and that's, that's

1125
00:52:40,157 --> 00:52:44,202
not what they're about.
And, but it's, it's

1126
00:52:41,824 --> 00:52:45,494
also equally on your part
that you're being

1127
00:52:45,494 --> 00:52:49,498
kind of a little bit manipulative
and what you're trying to

1128
00:52:46,996 --> 00:52:52,710
do. So yeah, I honestly.
I would call bullshit

1129
00:52:49,498 --> 00:52:54,336
if anybody in the world
would ever say like, yeah,

1130
00:52:52,793 --> 00:52:55,630
now I know that. Like,
I know that for sure.

1131
00:52:55,630 --> 00:52:57,673
Everyone's on that in some way
cause you have to learn.

1132
00:52:57,673 --> 00:52:59,717
How do you, how are you
ever going to push

1133
00:52:59,717 --> 00:53:02,219
against no boundaries
or rules if you don't

1134
00:53:02,219 --> 00:53:04,597
try to break them at some point
to know that, you know,

1135
00:53:04,597 --> 00:53:07,057
everyone would have at some point
be like, okay, well,

1136
00:53:05,599 --> 00:53:07,934
maybe I can manipulate
or I can do this, or

1137
00:53:07,934 --> 00:53:10,686
I can say this to get this
and actually

1138
00:53:09,101 --> 00:53:12,606
not have to reciprocate,
and then you let you

1139
00:53:10,686 --> 00:53:14,273
get away with it. Lots. Cool.
You're down side path.

1140
00:53:14,273 --> 00:53:16,902
You don't get away with a lot
that you probably can't do that.

1141
00:53:16,902 --> 00:53:19,112
Though those have found
you can get some short

1142
00:53:19,112 --> 00:53:21,322
term gratification,
but it'll just end up

1143
00:53:21,322 --> 00:53:24,326
causing you more stress,
more harm in the long term

1144
00:53:24,367 --> 00:53:26,452
if you're treating
your relationships

1145
00:53:26,452 --> 00:53:30,456
and that kind of very selfish.
The opposite of value for value.

1146
00:53:30,456 --> 00:53:33,418
Yeah, but you expect
the value first.

1147
00:53:33,418 --> 00:53:37,297
But the gangrenous part of this
is that there's a lot of people

1148
00:53:37,297 --> 00:53:39,548
who can continue
it have probably continued

1149
00:53:38,340 --> 00:53:41,342
to do that
all their lives and it's

1150
00:53:39,548 --> 00:53:43,594
still served them well.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean that's,

1151
00:53:42,052 --> 00:53:46,056
that's just gangrenous.
I'd say it's on the inside

1152
00:53:43,594 --> 00:53:47,139
like it's you. You're
the only one who knows

1153
00:53:47,139 --> 00:53:48,516
that you know what
you really doing.

1154
00:53:48,516 --> 00:53:50,768
And everyone else
might not see it because you know

1155
00:53:50,768 --> 00:53:53,605
you're well keeping it
and whatnot. I'd say that's,

1156
00:53:53,605 --> 00:53:55,815
that's less
of a relationship problem

1157
00:53:55,815 --> 00:53:59,027
and then it'd be more of a, Hey,
that's going to become

1158
00:53:56,983 --> 00:54:01,320
a new problem. How you retrospect
on your wife and whatnot.

1159
00:54:01,320 --> 00:54:04,990
But I think that's a separate.
Ethical. Ethical problem.

1160
00:54:04,990 --> 00:54:08,536
My final one, my final one.
I want to bring out

1161
00:54:06,201 --> 00:54:12,456
another different one,
trying to call out

1162
00:54:08,536 --> 00:54:13,708
different thing. So it's similar,
but say different.

1163
00:54:13,708 --> 00:54:16,293
It's a group of us,
not a group of me.

1164
00:54:16,293 --> 00:54:19,630
Now, in another sense,
it's be willing

1165
00:54:19,630 --> 00:54:21,715
and good relationship.
We want to build relationships,

1166
00:54:21,715 --> 00:54:28,014
bring more people to the table
in a in a kind of selfish way

1167
00:54:28,097 --> 00:54:31,476
can be like, well,
I have a friendship with

1168
00:54:29,266 --> 00:54:35,230
a friend or my partner or a kid.
I think, you know, a

1169
00:54:32,476 --> 00:54:38,023
really great relationship.
You have to be willing prepared

1170
00:54:38,023 --> 00:54:42,278
even to the point of offering it
to try and bring more people

1171
00:54:40,985 --> 00:54:45,155
to the table to expand the table
for that other person

1172
00:54:45,155 --> 00:54:50,077
so that it's not a group of me.
And when I say

1173
00:54:48,201 --> 00:54:52,038
a group of me is like,
if I think of our

1174
00:54:50,077 --> 00:54:53,414
relationship of it's me,
and then there's this connection.

1175
00:54:53,414 --> 00:54:58,043
But it's not a group of us.
It's a it's a group, it's

1176
00:54:55,625 --> 00:54:59,253
a, it's a community to
system, whatever

1177
00:54:58,043 --> 00:55:01,463
you want to call it.
I think to build the right

1178
00:54:59,253 --> 00:55:03,925
relationships,
you have to be prepared

1179
00:55:01,463 --> 00:55:05,885
that you also want
to connect those people

1180
00:55:03,925 --> 00:55:07,429
to other people
and let them breed the success

1181
00:55:07,429 --> 00:55:09,347
or the happiness, the joy
that comes out of it,

1182
00:55:09,347 --> 00:55:11,891
and not want to just remain it
as a group of me.

1183
00:55:11,891 --> 00:55:14,184
Yeah. So feeling
my things, but I'm not.

1184
00:55:14,184 --> 00:55:15,519
I don't connect you
to the other person

1185
00:55:15,519 --> 00:55:17,521
because then that means
you've got to go

1186
00:55:16,563 --> 00:55:18,606
and connect to them and you're
not connecting with me.

1187
00:55:18,606 --> 00:55:21,192
So there's like
a slight deviation. But I think

1188
00:55:21,192 --> 00:55:23,068
in really good relations,
if you think about it,

1189
00:55:23,068 --> 00:55:25,405
I think there's been
some in the past where

1190
00:55:25,405 --> 00:55:27,282
it was like a group of me,
like I've had a friend

1191
00:55:27,282 --> 00:55:29,199
in the past
where I'm not a friend

1192
00:55:29,199 --> 00:55:31,036
with them anymore, where
I was very much like, Hey,

1193
00:55:31,036 --> 00:55:34,246
I really like hanging out
with you and it's good fun,

1194
00:55:34,331 --> 00:55:36,498
but I don't want
I don't want to take you

1195
00:55:35,081 --> 00:55:37,751
to my other friends.
I don't want you to go see,

1196
00:55:37,751 --> 00:55:39,753
I enjoy being with you
and doing these things.

1197
00:55:39,753 --> 00:55:43,047
And as long as
doesn't change too much,

1198
00:55:40,253 --> 00:55:45,717
that's cool and realising.
And probably now

1199
00:55:43,047 --> 00:55:48,219
I go, yeah, that, that
that wasn't the greatest

1200
00:55:46,967 --> 00:55:49,512
of relationship
because I didn't want them.

1201
00:55:49,512 --> 00:55:51,597
Tools that connect
with other people will have

1202
00:55:50,597 --> 00:55:53,891
out of the benefits
that go beyond that

1203
00:55:51,597 --> 00:55:57,144
that I could be doing.
So part of is either holding back

1204
00:55:55,809 --> 00:55:57,936
on that relationship
for other relationships

1205
00:55:57,936 --> 00:55:59,938
because I guess in the end
maybe a selfish

1206
00:55:59,938 --> 00:56:03,275
or you want to keep it
to yourself, whereas

1207
00:56:01,858 --> 00:56:06,278
in some really great
relationships

1208
00:56:03,275 --> 00:56:08,947
I've seen, it's the. Cool.
Not being afraid

1209
00:56:06,278 --> 00:56:12,409
of interconnectedness, of sharing
and the joy in getting them

1210
00:56:10,657 --> 00:56:14,329
to build up
other connections through

1211
00:56:12,409 --> 00:56:17,706
your own connections.
And I think those in many

1212
00:56:14,329 --> 00:56:19,793
myriads of relationships
can work really well,

1213
00:56:17,706 --> 00:56:20,751
and it's the basis of
building a good network.

1214
00:56:20,751 --> 00:56:23,670
You want networks
to expand that have this

1215
00:56:23,670 --> 00:56:27,217
system of connecting
and you're sure they know you

1216
00:56:25,255 --> 00:56:28,425
through the connection,
but you want to build it.

1217
00:56:28,425 --> 00:56:30,844
And if you try to keep it so much
centralised to yourself,

1218
00:56:30,844 --> 00:56:32,304
will that aren't going
to be very big.

1219
00:56:32,304 --> 00:56:35,974
So kind of letting that
network branch out

1220
00:56:33,847 --> 00:56:39,019
into its own thing
without the worry that

1221
00:56:35,974 --> 00:56:41,188
that is a negative on you.
In fact, it's a net

1222
00:56:39,019 --> 00:56:44,442
positive overall. Yeah. Yeah.
Was you and man show

1223
00:56:41,563 --> 00:56:46,860
going out behind my back.
A negative thing for our

1224
00:56:44,442 --> 00:56:49,739
friendship is the title
obviously but but no no

1225
00:56:49,739 --> 00:56:53,326
it's good because it you know
you guys can create

1226
00:56:51,115 --> 00:56:54,869
and do things which. I wouldn't
want. To be part of.

1227
00:56:54,869 --> 00:56:58,081
I don't want to go out
and drink and get.

1228
00:56:58,164 --> 00:57:01,376
What did you say. It lead what.
You didn't say, get lit.

1229
00:57:01,376 --> 00:57:03,253
You use another word
which is really funny.

1230
00:57:03,253 --> 00:57:07,590
It was like sloshed
or hammered or whatever

1231
00:57:07,673 --> 00:57:11,260
meant language. So funny. The
I don't want to do that.

1232
00:57:11,260 --> 00:57:14,514
I don't want to go out
and like, absolutely rule

1233
00:57:14,514 --> 00:57:18,809
my sleep and just grow up
the next day to do that.

1234
00:57:18,893 --> 00:57:24,190
To be fair, I didn't do that.
Yeah. That's how it goes.

1235
00:57:24,190 --> 00:57:28,068
So. Yeah. Yeah.
No I totally agree.

1236
00:57:25,233 --> 00:57:29,487
It's, it's yeah.
That gets I guess

1237
00:57:28,068 --> 00:57:32,114
back to the selfish
to this thing or that's

1238
00:57:29,487 --> 00:57:34,284
maybe not even selfish.
It's just like egotistical. Yeah.

1239
00:57:34,284 --> 00:57:39,706
If nothing, if you,
if your relationship to me

1240
00:57:36,536 --> 00:57:43,501
is only defined by it,
I'll link and not a

1241
00:57:39,746 --> 00:57:44,793
secondary link elsewhere.
Like that's.

1242
00:57:43,543 --> 00:57:49,007
Yeah. That's probably.
Well I think and here's a bit of

1243
00:57:46,545 --> 00:57:52,719
a summary for me it's
the as it stands today in

1244
00:57:49,090 --> 00:57:57,639
my and my short lifespan. So far
I have seen that

1245
00:57:54,012 --> 00:58:01,978
in the best relationships
that only strengthened,

1246
00:57:57,724 --> 00:58:03,271
not weakened
by the more connectors

1247
00:58:03,271 --> 00:58:07,150
that you can build around them.
Kind of like a lattice,

1248
00:58:04,521 --> 00:58:08,108
right, of friendships,
1 to 1 connection.

1249
00:58:08,108 --> 00:58:09,860
You know, you have two
points and one like joint.

1250
00:58:09,860 --> 00:58:13,405
That's pretty good.
But you know, with certain

1251
00:58:10,820 --> 00:58:14,615
stresses and movements,
it could probably break.

1252
00:58:14,615 --> 00:58:18,119
But if you start building
a lattice of your network,

1253
00:58:16,659 --> 00:58:19,746
of your friendships
and your connections, sure, build

1254
00:58:19,746 --> 00:58:22,664
are not to connect to each other,
but in really strong lattice,

1255
00:58:22,664 --> 00:58:24,250
the fact that's going
to be real strong.

1256
00:58:24,250 --> 00:58:27,878
And then if you're able to
continue investing

1257
00:58:25,710 --> 00:58:28,545
into the right ones,
then maybe you can

1258
00:58:28,545 --> 00:58:30,547
make the core ones
like Indestructible.

1259
00:58:30,547 --> 00:58:32,090
And then the. Others
still keep connections

1260
00:58:32,090 --> 00:58:34,510
and you know which ones to let go
and which ones,

1261
00:58:33,592 --> 00:58:37,722
you know, investing.
And I think that to me,

1262
00:58:34,510 --> 00:58:40,516
visualises for me, like the
type of relationships it's

1263
00:58:40,599 --> 00:58:44,478
build of
the right ones close very

1264
00:58:41,266 --> 00:58:45,938
strongly and investment
and also recognising

1265
00:58:45,938 --> 00:58:48,858
that when I look at it visually,
it's not a picture of

1266
00:58:47,606 --> 00:58:52,695
just me, I'm just a point
in the network and that gives me

1267
00:58:50,318 --> 00:58:54,780
a lot of benefits.
But and I also have the

1268
00:58:54,780 --> 00:58:56,490
maybe the energy
to be able to build that.

1269
00:58:56,490 --> 00:58:58,034
But in the end it's
a system, it's a network

1270
00:58:58,034 --> 00:59:01,286
and it's a food network
working or well that builds

1271
00:58:59,619 --> 00:59:03,164
the right relationships
across the board because not just

1272
00:59:03,164 --> 00:59:05,791
what you feel and talk about
when you're with people,

1273
00:59:05,791 --> 00:59:08,378
it's what does my best
friend and another friend

1274
00:59:08,378 --> 00:59:12,257
or my partner or my dad or my mom
or my or my sister

1275
00:59:10,003 --> 00:59:14,300
or my daughter,
I think when they're

1276
00:59:12,257 --> 00:59:16,719
talking to other people,
they saying can expect to

1277
00:59:14,300 --> 00:59:19,054
me and I keeps relationship going
because then that's positivity

1278
00:59:19,054 --> 00:59:21,557
that you're exploring
beyond just yourself.

1279
00:59:21,557 --> 00:59:24,518
So for me, I'm like, Yeah,
I'll look at it more that way.

1280
00:59:24,518 --> 00:59:27,521
Yes, be less egotistical,
being less selfish,

1281
00:59:27,730 --> 00:59:30,065
be more communicative,
I'd say, Yeah, that's

1282
00:59:30,065 --> 00:59:31,483
probably going to build
some good relationships.

1283
00:59:31,483 --> 00:59:34,070
Yeah, good point.
The friendship group

1284
00:59:34,070 --> 00:59:38,407
that I built outside of you guys
is very dependent on Brendon.

1285
00:59:38,407 --> 00:59:40,577
It's he's, he's
kind of like the linchpin

1286
00:59:40,577 --> 00:59:43,288
between me and many of
the others in our group.

1287
00:59:43,288 --> 00:59:48,083
And even though yeah,
we all went out

1288
00:59:44,539 --> 00:59:49,751
for example on on Sunday
to to the beach and spent.

1289
00:59:49,751 --> 00:59:52,005
You. Know, almost half the day.
Did you jump off the bridge.

1290
00:59:52,005 --> 00:59:54,590
I jumped off a bridge.
I know exactly

1291
00:59:53,088 --> 00:59:56,592
which Richard is. Yeah.
I was wondering you were going

1292
00:59:55,215 --> 00:59:58,385
to jump over it or not. Somebody
didn't show it video.

1293
00:59:58,385 --> 01:00:02,472
It didn't show it.
The video did not also

1294
00:59:59,469 --> 01:00:03,224
show that after that,
we went back up

1295
01:00:03,224 --> 01:00:07,019
for a second round
and my friend almost

1296
01:00:07,103 --> 01:00:09,355
like paralysed a kid
by jumping on top of him.

1297
01:00:09,355 --> 01:00:11,690
It was probably about that
far away. I need to get better

1298
01:00:10,606 --> 01:00:14,735
next time. Yeah, it was. It was
that was going to be.

1299
01:00:14,735 --> 01:00:18,197
I only seen one person
jump off that

1300
01:00:18,280 --> 01:00:22,284
and had to get picked up by boat.
Yeah. Yeah. I was like

1301
01:00:20,032 --> 01:00:23,952
I wonder if he did it.
Yeah. Yeah. I jumped off.

1302
01:00:23,952 --> 01:00:28,458
It. Wasn't that high,
but it was, it was. Probably like

1303
01:00:26,204 --> 01:00:33,211
two and a half storeys.
Now a half metres tall.

1304
01:00:33,295 --> 01:00:36,632
Ivory like five metres something
maybe my perception.

1305
01:00:36,632 --> 01:00:39,217
Perception in any case.
In any case. Yeah. You know,

1306
01:00:39,217 --> 01:00:42,847
so you have that friendship group
which I guess there is

1307
01:00:40,469 --> 01:00:45,891
a linchpin connection to the many
through the one. Yeah. And look

1308
01:00:45,891 --> 01:00:48,894
my roommate is, it's,
I met through that group

1309
01:00:49,061 --> 01:00:51,521
so you know,
there's a connection there

1310
01:00:49,811 --> 01:00:53,190
but you know, they don't know
my family like you do.

1311
01:00:53,190 --> 01:00:55,985
They don't know my brother
like you do. They don't know me.

1312
01:00:55,985 --> 01:00:58,820
You know, some of my ex like,
like you do

1313
01:00:57,235 --> 01:01:02,449
and other friends have.
So yeah, it's is very much

1314
01:00:58,820 --> 01:01:05,244
a bit different.
And in that respect, it's

1315
01:01:02,449 --> 01:01:06,704
certainly not as strong
as this group. Yeah.

1316
01:01:06,704 --> 01:01:09,916
Well, and honestly,
this would be I'm going

1317
01:01:09,081 --> 01:01:10,541
to give people homework
if they want to do this

1318
01:01:10,541 --> 01:01:13,418
because I've done this before
in a work sense, I can of works

1319
01:01:13,418 --> 01:01:15,713
and so I know this
from a work's perspective,

1320
01:01:15,713 --> 01:01:17,340
but you can use it in
a relationship perspective

1321
01:01:17,340 --> 01:01:21,719
in your personal life.
It's if you want to do it

1322
01:01:18,548 --> 01:01:22,594
so frickin everybody like
and that's going to be painful,

1323
01:01:22,594 --> 01:01:25,556
but do it for like
you cokey connections

1324
01:01:23,346 --> 01:01:27,016
and some others
and in that same way,

1325
01:01:27,016 --> 01:01:29,768
draw a lot of draw
the network and

1326
01:01:29,768 --> 01:01:32,438
do you might find that
hey, I've got you know

1327
01:01:32,438 --> 01:01:35,525
do the connections of me
to someone and that's a strong

1328
01:01:35,525 --> 01:01:38,277
and then me to someone
another week keep it simple

1329
01:01:38,277 --> 01:01:39,695
and you might see
like, shit, there's like

1330
01:01:39,695 --> 01:01:41,989
this friendship group over here,
like you're saying. And there's,

1331
01:01:41,989 --> 01:01:43,990
there's two connections
that are really strong

1332
01:01:43,990 --> 01:01:45,492
and all the connections
that are weak.

1333
01:01:45,492 --> 01:01:49,079
Maybe those weak ones have
more strong connections

1334
01:01:46,994 --> 01:01:51,833
with this other one
just to see or to know

1335
01:01:49,079 --> 01:01:54,585
like, shit, if that,
if that connection

1336
01:01:51,833 --> 01:01:57,838
didn't exist, that person
died left, do

1337
01:01:54,585 --> 01:01:58,422
whatever that whole branch
is going to fall off.

1338
01:01:58,422 --> 01:02:00,882
Kind of like those games,
like bubble games where you throw

1339
01:02:00,882 --> 01:02:04,512
little balls and grain hits grain
and like a whole socket fills.

1340
01:02:04,512 --> 01:02:07,931
You could see that.
In our friendship group.

1341
01:02:07,931 --> 01:02:11,268
I'll tell you the lattice,
I don't feel like

1342
01:02:08,974 --> 01:02:12,936
interconnected and strong.
Even if one of us like completely

1343
01:02:12,936 --> 01:02:15,313
one guy from the group.
I mean not super friends,

1344
01:02:15,313 --> 01:02:17,315
but one of our friends
went to Europe that

1345
01:02:17,315 --> 01:02:19,568
kind of like the lived
in like out of nowhere.

1346
01:02:19,568 --> 01:02:21,027
It's not like it breaks
anything in there.

1347
01:02:21,027 --> 01:02:22,655
We're all kind of
interconnected. It's fine.

1348
01:02:22,655 --> 01:02:26,324
It's a lot of lattices
going through strongly, but it is

1349
01:02:25,115 --> 01:02:28,452
the relationships that I have
or group settings do.

1350
01:02:28,452 --> 01:02:31,289
But one person goes, I'm
not ever seeing these

1351
01:02:31,289 --> 01:02:34,541
people ever again, ever.
And so I also it's

1352
01:02:34,541 --> 01:02:36,793
also for an awareness
of being like, okay,

1353
01:02:36,793 --> 01:02:38,795
do I need to invest
something in here

1354
01:02:38,795 --> 01:02:41,423
to build that lattice
a bit closer,

1355
01:02:39,797 --> 01:02:44,260
to build the relationship?
So I care enough to all the stuff

1356
01:02:42,675 --> 01:02:46,052
that we just talked about.
Do I bring a snack

1357
01:02:44,260 --> 01:02:48,054
for each person? Do I show up
for the public?

1358
01:02:48,054 --> 01:02:51,851
There's might be no,
I might be cool

1359
01:02:48,931 --> 01:02:52,809
if that goes bucket
it doesn't matter if the rest.

1360
01:02:52,809 --> 01:02:55,813
Yeah or even just
my summary would be

1361
01:02:55,813 --> 01:02:58,483
just thinking about
probably the best you know, who

1362
01:02:58,483 --> 01:03:01,402
the who's going to be like
the best lover, the best dog,

1363
01:03:01,402 --> 01:03:05,530
or another best friend,
brother, sister, whatever,

1364
01:03:03,653 --> 01:03:07,365
all those sorts of things.
It's probably the person

1365
01:03:05,530 --> 01:03:09,284
who thinks about
if they are being good enough.

1366
01:03:09,284 --> 01:03:12,371
And, you know, this is
is where it's just,

1367
01:03:12,371 --> 01:03:14,623
I guess, like cutting
through the selfishness.

1368
01:03:14,623 --> 01:03:17,793
If if you're thinking like,
am I good enough,

1369
01:03:16,166 --> 01:03:19,253
that generally means
you're not being selfish.

1370
01:03:17,793 --> 01:03:20,588
That's true.
That means you're probably

1371
01:03:20,588 --> 01:03:25,217
thinking other people more.
And Tim Ferriss

1372
01:03:22,047 --> 01:03:26,385
has this thing where he's maybe
this different for him

1373
01:03:26,385 --> 01:03:31,807
because he's so widely connected
and has that kind of

1374
01:03:28,554 --> 01:03:34,059
little fame component
where people want

1375
01:03:31,807 --> 01:03:36,686
to hang out with him a lot
that he he had to like actively

1376
01:03:36,686 --> 01:03:41,650
just think and sit down by now.
What are the 6 to 10 people who?

1377
01:03:41,650 --> 01:03:47,197
I just they bring me joy.
Every interaction with them

1378
01:03:45,570 --> 01:03:48,824
is pretty much a good one.
Even if we're talking

1379
01:03:47,197 --> 01:03:49,534
about negative
things that are happening

1380
01:03:49,534 --> 01:03:51,452
in their lives
and things like that.

1381
01:03:51,452 --> 01:03:54,413
And he was like, yeah,
there's like six of them

1382
01:03:52,536 --> 01:03:56,289
and damn,
I should make more effort

1383
01:03:54,413 --> 01:03:59,376
to hang out with those six
rather than the other 50.

1384
01:03:59,376 --> 01:04:03,755
Yeah, Who. Who could, who.
Could be part of my life.

1385
01:04:03,755 --> 01:04:06,675
But you know, are
they actually bringing me

1386
01:04:06,675 --> 01:04:11,222
more joy? Am I, am I
a better person because I

1387
01:04:11,304 --> 01:04:13,181
hang out with them as well?
That's probably the last point.

1388
01:04:13,181 --> 01:04:16,561
You want to hang out with people
who make you better. So to it,

1389
01:04:16,561 --> 01:04:21,190
being a good friend, like,
you know, half of it is relying

1390
01:04:18,271 --> 01:04:23,650
on you to be available.
Bit eventful, not not be selfish.

1391
01:04:23,650 --> 01:04:26,778
All the things we talked about
then they'll have half

1392
01:04:24,902 --> 01:04:28,280
is just like
they just got to be good

1393
01:04:26,778 --> 01:04:29,532
people as well.
Sure you know. Yeah.

1394
01:04:29,532 --> 01:04:31,951
You can't be you want to
hang out with them.

1395
01:04:31,951 --> 01:04:36,329
You can't really be a good
friend with, you know, someone

1396
01:04:34,871 --> 01:04:38,416
who's a real shithead
I guess in the sense

1397
01:04:36,329 --> 01:04:40,126
like you can kind of.
Well, he's a it

1398
01:04:38,416 --> 01:04:40,458
and he has a simple stuff.
Like, you know,

1399
01:04:40,458 --> 01:04:45,297
you want him to have similar
comedic timing and

1400
01:04:42,460 --> 01:04:46,757
comedic, you know, styles.
You want him to be fun.

1401
01:04:46,757 --> 01:04:50,177
You want him to be someone
that you enjoy being with

1402
01:04:48,300 --> 01:04:52,096
all this sort of stuff.
But I wanted to keep it

1403
01:04:50,177 --> 01:04:53,222
like go for some new ones.
But all of those have like

1404
01:04:53,222 --> 01:04:55,056
those base foundation
on the other line.

1405
01:04:55,056 --> 01:04:57,268
You can't go home. And now
I want to tell a joke

1406
01:04:57,268 --> 01:05:00,103
with my partner and if she's
like completely different levels,

1407
01:05:00,103 --> 01:05:01,480
you know, it's
going to reduce the

1408
01:05:01,480 --> 01:05:03,773
relationship in some way.
So you have to try to find

1409
01:05:03,773 --> 01:05:07,820
those things in the first place.
Yeah, definitely be more,

1410
01:05:04,858 --> 01:05:08,737
let's all do this.
Value for Vice section.

1411
01:05:08,737 --> 01:05:11,615
I've been thinking
about this recently. Yeah,

1412
01:05:10,072 --> 01:05:13,034
this is a value for value podcast
for those who don't know.

1413
01:05:13,034 --> 01:05:14,367
And so you might
have been asking, you know,

1414
01:05:14,367 --> 01:05:17,621
what was that
section in the middle deviated

1415
01:05:15,577 --> 01:05:20,373
away from the topic.
So The value for value

1416
01:05:17,621 --> 01:05:24,795
essentially means that we
do all of this work,

1417
01:05:22,335 --> 01:05:25,795
this podcasting upfront,
and we create a product

1418
01:05:25,795 --> 01:05:29,634
which we hope is value for
valuable for you that you enjoy,

1419
01:05:29,634 --> 01:05:30,760
whether you get
some entertainment,

1420
01:05:30,760 --> 01:05:33,596
some good ideas or
even a connection with us.

1421
01:05:33,596 --> 01:05:35,056
We do all that upfront
and we just ask

1422
01:05:35,056 --> 01:05:37,516
that you return that
in some shape or form.

1423
01:05:37,516 --> 01:05:40,436
We don't advertising
or sponsorships nor

1424
01:05:40,436 --> 01:05:45,858
anything on the back end
sell you a product to me,

1425
01:05:41,978 --> 01:05:47,025
a model thing or whatnot.
And the reason we do

1426
01:05:47,025 --> 01:05:50,820
that is because we want to
keep this open to,

1427
01:05:50,905 --> 01:05:53,990
I suppose, give our ideas
to the fullest extent

1428
01:05:53,990 --> 01:05:57,744
that we can without
external influences, which

1429
01:05:57,744 --> 01:06:00,623
certainly would happen
if you have a sponsor or

1430
01:06:00,623 --> 01:06:06,753
I was just just listening
to a a podcast today. I was

1431
01:06:04,001 --> 01:06:10,215
doing research prep and they had
five different ad breaks

1432
01:06:08,130 --> 01:06:11,925
or something like that,
and it was just awful.

1433
01:06:11,925 --> 01:06:16,931
It was really it was so bad.
And it happens

1434
01:06:14,344 --> 01:06:18,849
rarely to me nowadays
because I don't venture

1435
01:06:16,931 --> 01:06:21,601
out as much as I used to.
When you do your it was rough.

1436
01:06:20,684 --> 01:06:25,606
It was rough. And so
how do we get, you know, money

1437
01:06:23,980 --> 01:06:26,690
to continue doing
everything that we do here?

1438
01:06:26,690 --> 01:06:29,527
Well, we just ask that
you return the value

1439
01:06:27,733 --> 01:06:32,405
in some form. And so it's not
necessarily just money.

1440
01:06:32,405 --> 01:06:36,701
We ask for some of your time.
So sharing this with a friend,

1441
01:06:36,701 --> 01:06:40,496
perhaps giving a topic suggestion
that you would like

1442
01:06:38,619 --> 01:06:42,789
to hear on the podcast
would be very much appreciated.

1443
01:06:42,789 --> 01:06:47,168
Doing it through some talent,
particular sections

1444
01:06:44,708 --> 01:06:48,670
that you find interesting.
So if you were to clip this,

1445
01:06:48,670 --> 01:06:52,465
for example on fountain
or pop verse that would be

1446
01:06:52,465 --> 01:06:54,592
and share that clip
obviously would be great.

1447
01:06:54,592 --> 01:06:57,679
But even just clipping
it would be amazing

1448
01:06:55,510 --> 01:06:59,139
because then I'd know,
you found this section

1449
01:06:57,679 --> 01:07:01,016
interesting. This is something
I hadn't thought about

1450
01:07:01,016 --> 01:07:05,186
that was really worthwhile
or a point of view,

1451
01:07:02,434 --> 01:07:06,646
which I thought
was just something

1452
01:07:05,186 --> 01:07:09,150
that I threw out. And then maybe
you're like, No, that's the gem,

1453
01:07:07,981 --> 01:07:12,110
that's the gold. So doing
something like that, the talent,

1454
01:07:12,110 --> 01:07:14,280
identifying things would
be very much appreciated.

1455
01:07:14,280 --> 01:07:18,909
And then finally, the treasure.
We've talked about sending

1456
01:07:15,947 --> 01:07:20,327
in a boostagram fire directly
in the podcasting app.

1457
01:07:20,327 --> 01:07:24,664
You're listening in,
go to a new podcast app,

1458
01:07:21,661 --> 01:07:27,585
new podcast apps dot com
and one from there,

1459
01:07:24,873 --> 01:07:29,170
to be able to do that,
you can get in touch

1460
01:07:29,170 --> 01:07:32,130
directly with us
need to go through

1461
01:07:30,170 --> 01:07:34,759
any of the intermediaries
like discord Facebook, Instagram

1462
01:07:34,759 --> 01:07:36,635
social media whatever
but you can join

1463
01:07:36,635 --> 01:07:40,389
those as well if you want
and you'll get some updates

1464
01:07:37,927 --> 01:07:42,641
on when we release things.
Yeah, that was not

1465
01:07:40,389 --> 01:07:44,184
that was in-depth.
That was in depth, Yeah.

1466
01:07:44,184 --> 01:07:47,228
Once again, finalising it.
Would you go live at 7 p.m.

1467
01:07:47,228 --> 01:07:50,065
Australian Eastern Standard Time?
So we are not. On. YouTube,

1468
01:07:50,065 --> 01:07:53,527
but at the current time
in the future, in the future

1469
01:07:52,485 --> 01:07:55,153
we're going to be going
live on audio

1470
01:07:53,527 --> 01:07:56,864
as well in the apps.
But now you can join the say

1471
01:07:56,864 --> 01:07:59,240
so for those who were
listening there live,

1472
01:07:57,614 --> 01:08:01,202
thank you very much.
For those who are

1473
01:07:59,240 --> 01:08:02,494
listening to afterwards,
feel free to come and join

1474
01:08:01,202 --> 01:08:04,538
the party. You're always welcome.
But for now, we're

1475
01:08:03,369 --> 01:08:05,706
going to leave them here
more or less.

1476
01:08:04,538 --> 01:08:07,541
Thank you very much.
Juan out. Kyrin out.