Mere Mortals

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Giving the speech I couldn't and my plans for the near future.

In Episode #451.5 of 'Kyrin Solosode' I discuss: why I wasn't able to talk at my mum's memorial service, memories from our time together, the pain of passing does start to ease, random thoughts on drugs, all the people and places I am visiting the next month, realising that Australia is where I need to be searching and a hint at where I might be next year.

Huge thanks to Petar, McIntosh, Oystein Berge & Cole McCormick for supporting the show. We really appreciate your contribution!

Memorial Service Vid: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWgqZu4FXJE

Timeline:
(00:00:00) Intro
(00:01:28) Mum's memorial service
(00:08:25) Cutie Kyrin
(00:11:18) Happy & fun times
(00:15:28) Super mum
(00:16:45) The loudest of all
(00:17:59) Thanks to helpers
(00:19:59) I want to be like her
(00:20:36) Life goes on
(00:22:50) Boostagram Lounge
(00:35:07) Immediate travel plans
(00:44:51) Lonely but Brazil is not the answer
(00:54:09) V4V: Time/Talent/Treasure

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[00:00:06] Kyrin Down:

Welcome, everyone, to another mere mortals episode.   You have Kyrin here on this side of the world and   just me today, just me, yes, Juan is not going to be here. So he is romping about in Sydney. So you've got me here on 13th   July 2024   on a Brazilian Brazilian time.   And today, I'm going to be doing a solo episode.   You know, we've done some of these in the past,   I actually labeled some of these actual episodes.   Nowadays,   we were   I Well, when I say we I make most of the decisions because I do the editing and stuff.   And I've decided that we're only going to name number the episodes, you know, a mere meander into our musings episode number, whatever,   if one is here as well. So it's just going to count as a as a half episode today, because it's just going to be me.  

Nonetheless, I will still do the kind of rough format that we normally do. I've got a,   I suppose, just some reflections on,   you know, it's been about 2 months now since, a month passed away. So I had some reflections on that. We'll be doing our booster grams to make up for the last week or 2, 2 weeks because one didn't do any last week.   And then I want to talk about some travel plans and just probably like the biggest problem that is currently plaguing me in my life.   So that that's kind of the rough order for things today.   So,   yeah, just starting off, I guess, with reflection on mom, so she passed away on May 8.  

And that's that's almost 2 months, obviously, with the big lead up to   her finally passing away, it was not an unexpected event.   So,   you know, we I've talked about this a little bit in the past of how   I   it was a weird feeling of grief where it's it just wasn't as intense as I thought it would be.   You know, I just thought growing up losing a parent, you know, I imagined   what it would be like to as like, you know, little thought experiments every now and then what would it be like to lose mom or dad or my brother? And all I could think of was just how   miserable I would be and how   everything would change.  

But not, you know, nothing really changed. If anything, it just made our lives a lot easier,   which, you know, is   one of the conflicting things again of of,   of mortality   of people passing away of grief is, you know, sometimes   it can feel good in some ways because, you know, you're not having to watch your dad go to the hospital and, you know, basically grinding himself to the ground.   And you're not having to,   you know, have the mental just plague of   of going to visit her and knowing it's going to be an unpleasant experience because   of of just this uncon, uncontrollable anger she had and things like this.  

So   it's   a good book for this,   which I actually kind of read in preparation for, for   for her passing away was on grief and grieving by   I think it's Elizabeth Kubler Ross. And there was another guy's name. It's on the book reviews channel.   And   I this was the book that came up with the 5 stages of grief and which,   you know, the dapda denial, anger,   bargaining, depression, acceptance,   where and how I went through that   I could try and pinpoint it out, it was just a rough framework.   I   I'm not sure I ever went through   certain stages, or if I did, they were shallow or whatever.  

But   there was one one thing that actually occurred. And one talked about,   you know, if you listen to the last episode,   his goals or not his goals, but just his monthly reflection, the big event for him for for me. So these are what happened in oh, well, sorry, June.   June was mum's memorial service. It was right at the start of the month   of 2nd June, maybe it was it was.   Yeah, it was a pretty quick turnaround time from   that to me coming back to Brazil. So yeah, around the first or the second sounds about right.   And   obviously, that was   a big kind of day for me and preparing for that.  

If you actually want to see the memorial service, it was live stream. So there it is on YouTube. I will include a link in the show notes for when this comes out, and,   I can maybe try and do this in the in the live chat now.   While   I'm Oh, actually, I can't know the live chat is not working. So I won't be able to do that. Don't worry. Don't worry about that. I'll post it for those who want to see it later. And you can check it out in the show notes.  

[00:04:52] Kyrin Down:

And  

[00:04:54] Kyrin Down:

so that, you know, quite a few people attended that one was there as well.   And one of the things that my dad had asked us and leading up to this was well, one,   he wanted myself,   my brother and himself to be wearing   fancy   fancy pants together in kind of solidarity? Well, he asked and I said, Yeah, I think that's a good idea.   And   for mom's funeral, we or memorial service, we had a   theme of kind of bright clothes. And so if you if you check out the pants that I'm wearing in that video,   they are easily the fanciest pair of pants that I now are in.   In any case,   the other thing that he asked me was, do you want to do a speech?  

And   I didn't, I didn't want to,   for two main reasons. One was I didn't think I would actually be able to get through it. And so   it would kind of be pointless in a way because   it wouldn't be me reading it out. It would be someone else reading it out.   And dad, dad kind of accepted that and   agreed with that, because for   my grandmother's his his mother,   she   he tried to give a speech and he said he just couldn't get through it. And, you know, that was that was kind of that. The other reason is, you know, I just don't really like giving speeches.   Well, sorry, that would be the second reason. The third reason was,   I thought it would be   I didn't know how I'd be able to explain my relationship to her and   especially   what what I would want to say because   so much of what was just going through my mind was the last 9 months, which were   just very, very hard. And   I try to think back of you know, what was mom like when I was 10 years old? What was mom like when I was 20 years old?  

What was she like, you know, when I was 25 years old, and   I was just having a real tough time real tough time trying to   vision envision her   envision myself what I felt about her at the time,   interactions that we would have and things like that.   So that was the other reason I didn't particularly want to give a speech.   What I realized, though,   basically, right towards the end of the memorial service, probably 3 quarters of the way through was,   you know what I kind of kind of wish I had   given one because   I think seeing all the videos   and the photos of her and other people talking about her   made   me made me go.  

I wish I could kind of tie all of these things up. Because   my dad's speech, which was   I thought was an amazing speech was was very much about, you know, his relationship with her and kind of   her quirks and personality   and and how they   worked together as a couple.   Whereas I think I would have been able to give a slightly different perspective of,   of her as   a whole almost because, you know, she, she's been there for the very from the very beginning for me. And,   and that's, you know, that was   a huge part of our life. So I've written up some notes here, and I'll try and just go through them and pretend if you will for me, my my dear me immortal lights at home that you are you're in the crowd and this is   what   what I would have been going up to try to give. So   I probably would have started off by acknowledging that selfishly her life really started when mine began.  

And when I see videos of myself,   and photos of a child,   of myself, it kind of feels like watching a movie,   Because I can't remember them from the inside. I really, really do struggle with, with these memories,   and   especially memories before kind   of 13 years old, even even the earliest parts of high school, they just feel like snippets. They're just going away so quickly. And,   if I would have said this even 5 years, maybe even 10 years ago, that that that portion of my life was,   those memories are hard and and they fade, but I did still have a couple that I wanted to to pass on to to share with everyone. So no mum was always my my home base.   I felt I could always just be myself around her and be comfortable   No matter what other problems I had in my life, and especially   in those years of   puberty from 13 to 20, let's say,   the school anxiety, the future,   nervousness,   social anxiety, all of those sorts of things.  

When when I was just around her, I I I wouldn't feel them or at least I'd,   I would I'd be distracted from them. There there   there wasn't times when I'd be with her and I'd I'd be thinking about them or if I or if I did, like, you know, I can't can't even remember that.   And   all would dissipate behind her care. And   I do literally mean behind her. Because   one of my earliest memories is actually   grabbing   the back of her legs and peeping out when all of these loud and strange woman would suddenly appear at our house. And so the context for this is mom was in a barbershop choir. And so she was always having just these loud women coming and singing at our house. And you know, she loved to have guests over and they would just be there, they would just always be showing up. There's just women always showing up in our in our doors. I remember that. And, you know, I was a shy kid. I was a very cute kid.   And   I would hide behind her because all they wanted to do was come and pinch my cheeks and praise me.  

I had curly blonde hair then and the curse of being incredibly cute   with with these long, dark eyelashes,   and I still kind of have them to these days.   The curse does continue to this day. And I'm sure   many of those same women were you know were in the audience so I was going to say like I'll be doing signatures and taking photos afterwards so if you if you want to come again   feel free to do so but I do I do remember that I do remember just just being so like   awkward and,   and shy and having to literally hide behind mum.   She was always positive and happy. And even when she did complain, there would be a kind of a light heartedness to it.  

I can't ever really remember her raising her voice   or getting angry at at Prennis or I Prennis being my brother.   No matter how much we, AKA Prennis, teased her for drinking tea in the gym, true story, she used to drink tea in the gym, and we would just tease her mercilessly because that's what we all we thought she did there.   Or   having a Kiwi accent that she still thought she had, but   definitely didn't she no way 20 years of Australia raise that.   But she never actually did tell us off in a in a mean or bullying way.   One of my favorite stories of mum was,   it was kind of a strictness through kindness. And so whilst working as I believe it was a fill in deputy or assistant deputy at the high school,   She had this naughty boy who came to her and apparently he'd punched a classmate or something like that.  

And when she asked why he did it, he looked at her and I believe he was an islander boy. And he said that, you know, like, Miss Lansdowne   snitches get stitches   and apparently she couldn't   she couldn't stop laughing and just going crazy and, like, you know, trying to be strict and and saying to this this boy, like, you know, you shouldn't be punching your your classmates while whilst   secretly, you know, laughing her ass off at   the   at the boy and   snitches get stitches. And that's been like a recurring joke just in our family for for a long time.   Bonding, I suppose can sometimes be hard, if you have different interests.  

You know, I was always the nerdy math guy who liked playing soccer,   and mum was the artsy music girl who liked singing. So there wasn't really an overlap   much, but between our our interests.   But the one thing we both enjoyed was staying up late and being lazy.   And   I used to think back and look and go, man, I wasted a lot of time on TV shows, just so much time of   Doctor. House of NCIS   of,   the Simpsons, although, you know, I look at the Simpsons now, especially in so much my humor is derived from that. So I think that was well spent, but so much time to spend watching TV shows. And   what I actually realized was   a lot of that was actually spent with her. And, you know, it was just the 2 of us sitting on the couch, me cuddled up to her.  

And   I think through this, we actually realized we had a lot in common. So for example,   we used to stay up into the early am watching what do you think? The Tour de   France   cycling, if you know me at all, you know, I give cyclists so much shit. I think they're a plague on the road.   But yet, we would spend, you know, 5 hours a night watching the Tour de France. And I'm talking from, you know, 11 pm until   4 am sort of deal almost   depends on the day and and, you know, if there was school holidays or not. And   neither of us I don't think actually really enjoyed the bike riding. But what we loved was the   seeing the landscapes, you know, the chateaus, the castles,   the the French Pyrenees, the the the sites, the views,   and also just the people watching the people on the sides of the roads going crazy, the how they've dressed up as fans and things like this. We both found it fascinating.  

I'm watching the Tour de France highlights as right at this moment.   And it really does take me back and just give me those vibes again of remembering of being there and sitting with mom and, and and loving just just being there with her. That that truly was some some it's so funny. It's like you'd think it's the mundane   wasted moments. You're wasting time just watching TV. But when I look back now, I I really do treasure those moments because there   there were times where we could we could just bond. You know, we just had hours and hours of just bonding and talking and sometimes not talking and just watching the TV.   And that was beautiful. I really enjoyed that.  

On the opposite side of of being lazy and gentle, she also knew how to work hard and was loud. So if you thought her friends were loud coming over, she she was the loudest of all.   All the accolades and medals she received over the years were were not a fluke And mom's middle   nickname at the casino was was Susan Susan medals,   lands down medals.   And what what she was constantly doing was refining her skills, despite the amount of schoolwork that would pile up at home despite   having to   feed   almost 3 or 4 different people because dad was vegetarian.   I was picky and didn't like vegetables.  

Prentice,   Yeah, I think he was pretty good. And then he became picky.   And then mum, you know, just whatever she wanted. So she would be cooking at the very least 2 different meals a week,   taking us to soccer practice to soccer games to   school rehearsal things to   tennis training to our friends places. She did a lot for us. And   despite that,   she would find the time to just   sing constantly because she was the director of of the choir. It was up to her to be, you know, basically the best out of everyone   to to make sure they were on track.   And I remember there was this once,   song this has just been burned into my mind and into my family's mind, which was called grapefruit diet. It's actually a weird Al Yankovic parody of   crap, I can't remember what it was a parody of. But it's a it's a weird out song. So if you if you go online and   type out type in something like that, you'll find it.  

And for mum, I remember saying it was a particularly tricky song.   And she wanted to make sure she got it right. So this might be slightly distorted by, you know, kids memories of making   terrible moments feel like their ages.   But I swear that she sang for 8 hours that day,   this one song   over and over and over again. And it really was torture because she was singing as high as she could go.   And,   you know, grapefruit diet   diet   And it's not just me, my brother Prenas and dad also remember this as well, she was just hammering out this song.   So   not only was she,   you know, gentle and kind, but she,   she she was hardworking as well. She really worked hard.  

And when when mom was officially diagnosed in late 2016,   she faced it bravely and moved on quickly.   I never felt she was one to dwell on things that that could not be changed.   Alzheimer's is a it's a cruel, cruel disease that really slowly chips away at a lot of things.   Mom was still able to do a lot of things   she loved, but it also   obviously required more effort and   transportation of special attention of making sure someone was there to help her when she needed help.   And this is where, you know,   I would have thanked everyone at the time, but I can still think it if they ever see this.   All those people who individually who helped out, I can't think of everyone. But   thank you for making that happen of, you know, taking her to   to choir to taking her out for walks for   training her at the gym for,   you know, being her shepherd and   her her guide, her   car driver, her lift, all of those sorts of things made a big difference. And, you know, the last 7 years and in particular, last 8 to 9 months were very, very hard.  

And   Prennis and dad, my my brother and dad spent a lot of time caring for her. And   this allowed me to personally do things like travel the world   for, you know, Latin America for, geez, how long was that? 14 months in 20   20, 18, 2019   to move out of home during COVID to   spending a lot of time on the podcast   on all sorts of different things   and allowing me to live my life. And, you know, I have nothing but admiration and an appreciation for them, especially my dad. You know, that that last 8 months, he   he was at the hospital, you know, like, every day with her. He was caring for her every day. And,   I've   yeah. Amazing.  

Anyway,   I'd I'd like to end on a positive note about all this.   You know, how special it was that everyone came to say goodbye and that we could all,   you know, get the chance to,   to remember, remember her.   I would love to hear   favorite memories of everyone. So you know, for this is for   what I would have said at the time. And   not everything in life can be positive. But continue on despite this with a laugh. A smile is what mom would have done. And, you know, I want to be like her. So   she was special lady. She was she was really special.   So yeah, that was that was what I would have wanted to say. I think   I'm never the best for speeches.  

It's not my natural talent.   But   I think   I think that would have tied in really well with with you   can tell me if you ever if you ever do go watch her   or a memorial service, you can tell it tie that in   and compare that. So,   yeah, thank you. Thank you, Peter.   So,   yeah, we'll we'll leave it. We'll leave that at there for say, do I have any additional thoughts?   Not really, you know, the   sometimes I have dreams   where   she was her old self, which, you know, I wake up and it it makes me happy and sad at the same time. Sad that she's not here, but happy that I I got to experience those moments with her and and who she was.   And,   Peter said he wasn't planning on crying today. I actually was planning, but I I think I managed to get through it. Okay. So,   but yeah.  

No, that that was that was good. I'm sure I wouldn't have got through that on the day though. That would that would have been too hard, way too hard. I'm after the memorial service the day after   my jaw hurts so much. And I didn't realise it at the time, but I was just clenching it so hard   just during just during all the all the all the memorial service and probably a bit afterwards,   just just to,   I guess, not cry the entire time, you know.   But yeah, yeah, that was that was that. Any additional thoughts?   Not really, you know,   I think,   you know, life goes on. I think the pain for me is already   is already subsiding a bit, which is nice. And it's not,   it's not pain in the sense of,   I think the pain would have been much different if it had been   a very quick way to go, a quick unexpected   that that would be a lot harder.  



[00:22:40] Kyrin Down:

I had time to prepare myself so  

[00:22:43] Kyrin Down:

that even though you you can never prepare yourself,   you know, I I kinda could a little bit. So, that that was okay.   Alright. Let's jump on to some more fun things, and, we'll just go to the live chat here. I see so we did have Lucas, Peter, Patricia, and Dimelix in the chat as well. Thank you everyone for joining. And yet, Peter was the one saying he wasn't planning on crying today. But things change.   I want to jump on to the boostograms because it's been 2 weeks and the the value for value section of this podcast. So,   I'm just going to go over here and and explain what that is. So value for that, this is a value for value podcasts, you will not hear any ads on this ever, you will not hear any sponsorships on this podcast ever. And this is because both Juan and I agree that we want to keep this as free   and open as possible without any ulterior purposes. And honestly,   I think the actual experience of getting interrupted by ads is just so jarring. I,   it makes me hate a show that I love,   that I used to love or did love   when when I hear them, especially if they're in the middle   and designed to just, like, be be uncomfortable and get at you. You know, I don't think   there will ever be a time particularly where   you actually I'll take this back because I noticed my views are getting more kind of strident and a little bit hardened in certain things. So perhaps one day I will be on the   what would you call it the controversial side of a topic, I usually am pretty down the middle straight even even keel.  

And especially because I avoid   things like politics, sex, religion, which tends to get people angry and mad. But you know, maybe one day I would be and   I never would want those opinions tainted because a sponsor   or because a advertiser did not want me to say or wanted me to say certain things. So this is why we do value for value where we provide this value value all upfront for you, and we just ask that you return it in kind. You can do this in multiple different ways. And I'll explain more of that at the end. But this is the boostgram section where we we shout out the people who have helped support us monetarily.   And you can do this if you want to know, go to me and models podcast.com/   support.  

So   I'm trying to find this first one here. And I believe it's this one here.   Peter the slab,   coming in with 2,222.   And he's doing this over 2 different boosts. So that's 4,444   in total, he says all caps, red flag, you got off lucky, man. She showed you her crazy upfront.   Yeah, boy. Absolutely. She did.   I got lucky. I you   know, that that's probably the closest I've come to   interacting with a genuine crazy person   that I know of. I'm sure I've interacted with other people who have done crazy things.   But but I've never been in the crossfire   at all. That's like the closest I've come to, to getting hit by by some of the or perhaps even the full frontal assault of of crazy so you know, if 2 hours wasted in the you know, like 20 $20 of Uber Uber arrives wasted there's   that's that's a that's a fine price to pay for avoiding   avoiding that over the years. And then the other one finally, once July goals 100% match my goals, And he feels personally attacked   by that chapter art, which is what I used.  

And basically, I just had once ones little message at the top of I'm just going to relax and chill out. And then a   AI Venice dotai image prompt of a fat lazy Colombian   lying on a couch.   Whoops. Sorry, Peter. Yeah, it is kind of unfair unfair that I control the chapter art because I'm gonna make those things for him, but I'm definitely not gonna make my ones look like that.   Jeez.   We had, Macintosh coming in here on   Happy Mirror America Day, July 4th. And he says, great conversation, gents.   1111. He sent that using podcast guru, Peter, I believe was using fountain. Yep. Comes, Peter, speaking of comes in again, I believe in you on you accomplished more by doing less, less   fucking   go fire emoji 2,222.  

Thank you very much, Peter. It's coming in hot with the boosts   these these last couple of weeks. And, of course, I'm reading out 2 weeks worth. So there's there's more here than usual.   A name we have seen before but it's been a while oyston Burj sounds like you guys have a lot on your minds crazy thought why not try some magic mushrooms I know it sounds terrifying but it will help you get out of negative thought patterns just throwing it out there 3,330   3 sent using pod verse as well. I'm like in the like in all these different   podcast applications showing up.  

Magic mushrooms, I have experimented with them before, I've   always stayed on a very low dose   of either being   a microdose   or one time   where I would say it was maybe a normal ish dose,   but never into the superhero   category of   what's that like 5 grams   of 3 to 5 grams, nothing like that. I've always kept it very, very small.   My my kind of position with   psychedelics   and   mind altering things is,   and even just drugs in general, to be honest. So I'm thinking things like MDMA,   cocaine,   and things that are like. And then, you know, you can go down the list into caffeine and, and,   and stuff like that.  

I   I'm I'm cautious. Me personally, I'm I'm very cautious. I'm not diving into anything.   I tend to prefer stuff which has not been alterated   or is chemically made and therefore has the   more of a potential for   not well, substance abuse, I guess, for for addictive type ones, but   especially things like cocaine, but more.   I'm thinking more of the actual substance itself, you know, an MDM a pill in Australia. I have no idea what's in that. I'm sure there is most mostly, I don't know. I'm sure there's a lot of ecstasy in there, but I am also sure that there's some other things in there, which I would rather not have in my system. And   there's plenty of   articles out there of people,   people   taking stuff they that   has been altered. And   I'm trying to think of the world. It's like mixed or tainted or something like that.  

Or cut. And,   yeah, I'm just I'm just cautious with all these things. I've known personally,   one person who had a complete   psychotic break from from,   taking   something   mysterious pill   mixed with other substances.   And   I,   yeah, I'm   appreciative of it, those things. You know, sounds like we have a lot on our minds. This is true. But you know, you can solve a lot without   without having to go there as well. For example,   I   do not need to try Ayahuasca.   There's nothing about that that calls to me that that says to me, I need to try that.   Maybe in the future, that could change. But I gotta say at the moment, something like that does does not sound appealing. So that's just my general   random thoughts there of,   of, of drugs.  

If you wanted to know more the the political side of things, I think, or the legality side of things,   or the ethical side of things, I definitely think you should have the ability to take them   wherever you want, however you want, as long as you are not hurting other people. From what I can tell the Portuguese   method of   decriminalizing   even legalizing many things, but having to access it through   certain   venues   where, you know, I believe you can get heroin there,   if you want.   But you have to take it in a certain place. And you have to,   you know, be be surrounded by some sort of medical professional as well.  

You know, it's kind of cutting down on personal liberties. But then again, you know, if you've got heroin and meth addicts on the street assaulting people, then that's also   cutting into other people's liberties. So you got to, that's a fine balance there between those.   Jimmy on to Peter's message here, be consistent, be flexible, it might seem like a contradiction at first glance. But if you really think on it, these are 2 philosophies.   These Yeah, these 2 philosophies fees can be totally complimentary without any trade off another 2,222   sent using fountain.  

So that would have been in response to what Juan was thinking for his   just on   his his May recap or sorry, his June recap,   and be consistent. Be flexible. Yeah, I think those 2.   Certainly, I mean, if, for me, the easiest, the first thing that comes to mind was, I was insanely consistent at being flexible.   But I've, there was a period I spent 3 hours basically every morning,   just stretching,   and just getting really flexible. So   that's definitely   a one prime example right there. But yeah, I think, yeah, it's it's it's worth thinking about these things, which,   can seem contradictory,   but actually merge together If you do them in a in a particular way. I do I do like thinking about that. And then the final message we have here, which received yesterday, com McCormick   1 in   2017, I would do midnight runs around my neighborhood 4.8 kilometers and really push myself. I'm trying to think where he was in 2017. Because if he was in LA doing that, damn, man. I mean, I'm sure there's good parts of LA. And I'm gonna see Cole. But   yeah, well, I guess maybe I'll get to see   4.8 kilometers and really push myself was working through a depression and would fear would need to feel like my chest was on fire to feel adequate   to whatever mystery standard I set for myself. Now I meditate and walk. I like that call 2,222   Thank you very much, my friend.  

Sent using fountain as well.   That's Yeah, that's, that's an interesting story out there. Because that's one of those times where   it's, it's helpful, it's certainly more helpful than staying at home and being   depressed. And,   you know, falling into unhealthy habits.   So getting out and running,   having the need to feel like your chest was on fire. That's probably where it's getting to like, oh, you know, is this   and I've talked about this kind of constantly because I went through a phase similar to this myself where I I wouldn't say I was   depressed, but I felt the need to push things as hard as I could go.  

And there was no real reason for it. You know, and this is where I'm talking about   running   a marathon in a 4 hour pace of   trying   to set all of these eating goals, you know, doing a 5 day fast,   going to an isolated place for 6 days or 8 nights in total,   and meditating 8 hours a day and only reading and that was it. Now all I would do is meditate, read and sleep. Nothing, nothing else was allowed.   And eat, I guess.   And   I look at all of that now. And,   you know, you could look at a lot of those things and say that was healthy. And I look back at it now I'm   like,   it wasn't unhealthy, but I'm not sure it was helpful   in what I was doing.  

But men,   one one would so be I mean midnight run. I'm not sure. I'm not sure if he'd been down for that or not. Because   for him, you know what he'd be down for he would go for a 3 am run and say, Oh, I'm doing a midnight run. But you know, it's him waking up at 3 am not him running at staying up until midnight and doing it. So   that's a that's the the one version of of skirting around the things like that. But,   yeah, this this, I guess, gets us on to our next topic.   And mushrooms are basically legal in Canada. FYI. Oh, interesting. Interesting.   And yeah, I actually   am meeting with a guy, David,   in I'm getting ahead of myself.  

Travel plans. That's that's what I wanna talk about, for this next portion here. And then I'll final finalize with just like   the one thing that is actually influencing some of my travel plans.   So   the travel plans for my immediate future, I've finally locked in some dates for stuff.   So basically, I'm going to stay in here in Brazil for another week and a half.   That will last me until the 24th   July.   I'll be flying from Londrina here through to Nashville.   And I will arrive in Nashville on the Thursday   25th   July,   which is the first day of the   Bitcoin conference.  

Yes, 1st day of the Bitcoin conference.   And also when there are the podcast,   or bands and bitcoins meetups. I don't think there's official   podcasting meetup there per se, maybe.   I think it'll more likely just get merged into like a v for v type thing with the v for v musicians who are gonna be there.   My main   tickets are to see Macintosh,   who has helped   donate into the show,   playing times podcaster,   Satoshi's plebs, if you wanna check this out. I definitely am going to meet up with Dave Jones, and we're actually just going to be staying together.   I want to meet Ainsley Costello. I want to meet the door fools.  

I want to meet blueberry. I basically want to meet anyone who is involved with FIFA v.   The Bitcoin conference itself   doesn't particularly   interest me. I'd know some people going to it, like a Macintosh, for example, I believe is going to the actual conference.   And there's a couple of people from Brisbane,   the Bitcoin group there who I'm I'm sure are going.   It's I'm more interested in maybe meeting up with them afterwards for some drinks or something. But the actual conference itself doesn't doesn't sound too appealing to me. So   that potentially might give me a little bit of time during the day in Nashville.  

I might wander around, I probably won't do any workouts or anything. But yeah, I'm I'm not sure. I'm not sure. But you know, whilst I'm in Nashville,   I might as well   get a get a bit of country music in me. And I'm sure the door falls will help me out with that either with some recommendations   or some places they can take me to or things like that.   So I'll be in Nashville for   3 days. On Saturday, I'm going to do a car ride trip with Dave Jones down to Birmingham, which is just 2 hours south   in Alabama.   So I'm going to go down there Saturday night, I have not any plans at the moment. If I can get a   stay at night and Dave's spare room, that would be amazing. I would love that. If not, I will just find a accommodation for the night somewhere in the city.  

And then on Sunday,   I fly into Los Angeles. So   in Los Angeles, I'm going to be staying with my friend David,   a. K. A. From the   handstand   retreat.   David, the Australian,   who's living in LA and he's living on Venice Beach. He runs a hostel there called stay open, or is it open stay? I think it's stay open.   And   basically, his routine is   very similar to mine, except he's even crazier. He gets up early, and he does a whole bunch of workouts in the morning. But   it sounds like from that kind of what after 1 pm 2 pm period,   he goes to the muscle beach and does   does you know, handstands does muscle ups does calisthenics and   boy, I am keen for that. So I'm gonna stay with him for a week   in the his kind of hostel.  

And basically,   fingers crossed with good weather, but I plan   to get jacked and become like Arnold Schwarzenegger.   No.   But I do plan on doing   a bunch of calisthenics with him and just hanging out and the stories he has of Los Angeles and that area   are so absurd,   that   I need to see this for myself to see if this is real life of what he's actually talking about.   So that will be from   the   I think that's like the 28th through to the 4th.   I've then got a couple of days free where David and I are tentatively   thinking about going to Las Vegas. So that would be like, from Monday to Thursday.   And I would love to do that with him mostly because   there's a whole bunch of handstand acts there. Some of the best in the world Andre Bondarenko,   then,   Pavel Stankovich,   Andre's wife.  

There's just legit people doing crazy stuff.   And I would love to go and see those shows.   What else Las Vegas has to offer? I have no idea. Absolutely no idea. But   for me, this trip is, is all really about just meeting up with people   and spending time with them. And if I get the chance to do anything cool, exciting, weird, unusual,   I'll take that. But   I'm not I'm not going there to go to Yellowstone National Park, for example, I'm not there to   go to the hostels and experience the, you know, Las Vegas nightlife or anything like that. So,   yeah, that's that's a pretty much my intentions.  

I was talking about David because he actually mentioned that I think you can get mushrooms in in, Los Angeles as well, or I don't know if it's legal, but it's you're able to acquire them is is what I've been told.   And if you wanna see him, actually, he's,   he's got   he's in the videos that Lucas has been chat, posting,   on his YouTube channel, Lucas h Branco.   And I think if you type in like Miguel Santana handstand retreat,   or Brazil handstand retreat, you'll likely find that on there.   After that, so that'll take me through until   about the August 9, which I believe is a Friday.  

And then I'm going to be meeting up with Cole McCormick   of   fame from America plus podcast, also a very constant booster into the show.   And   he lives in Los Angeles. He lives in North Hollywood, I believe.   I'm planning on probably just getting an Airbnb somewhere around him   for Friday,   maybe Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday evening, something like that.   I'm not gonna be spending much time there because him and I are going to go to v con together.   So   we're just going to go there. I really just want honestly, it's an excuse to   spend a lot of time with him.  

And   that and you know, I know he's interested in going to it.   I'm   mildly interested. I don't know, confidence full day things like once   when Juan came back from from his one that he went to.   I thought it was,   it sounded intense, and I'm not sure something that I would really enjoy.   But   when I'm with Cole, it's he's high energy. So I'll be able to steal some of his energy, I think, and this could potentially work out really well. So yeah, I'm essentially just planning on on spending 3 days with him   over over that v con period.   And then I have booked a ticket just before this about an hour and a half ago to go meet peter as well so   we're really going full circle with all this value for value   This is, you know, Juan and I talked, you know, if someone got to a million sats, we wanted to do something special. And,   we were saying, you know, he suggested shoes or something like that.  

And I was saying, like,   I'm not I'm not too keen on, like, more   merch. I'd rather do something more personal.   And I mean, like, honestly, at this moment, it seems that I'm personally going to meet   Dave and Peter,   our 2 boosters who have gotten above above a1000000. So maybe that will stick in the future as well,   especially when a 1,000,000 I mean, a1000000 SATS now is,   that's like, that's $1,000 I think so. Yeah, that's that's getting   that's that's essentially just playing paying for my   flight to wherever you are in the world if you if you do that. So,   yeah, for sure. That's, that's gonna be really fun. And   I have not booked anything   other than that in terms of   plans for what will happen. I'll probably stay in Canada for   4 ish 5 days.  

Yeah, not too sure at the moment.   We'll figure that out. There is also potentially   a decentralized   AI   day at the very same time during that period in Toronto, which was actually gave me the idea in the first place to go and then I'm like, oh, shit, Pete is there as well. And then I went, oh, shit, I don't really care if the decentralised AI isn't is a day is not even on I want to go and see Peter. So   that's that's my plans. I will fly back to Brazil.   I'm going to stay in Brazil until the   probably around 20th September,   then I will be booking a flight to New Zealand. I'm gonna probably spend about a week there with my dad and my brother.  

And that is in preparation for spreading mum's ashes in a,   like a memorial park very close to where she grew up, And we'll be doing that with the rest of   her New Zealand family.   And then I'm going to be back in Australia. So I'll probably be back in Australia about October.  

[00:44:43] Kyrin Down:

Which   sounds,  

[00:44:45] Kyrin Down:

you know, that's 2 and a half months away. That's,   it's a decent amount of time. And it's also going to go very quick.   This, I guess, gets me on to future plants. And my biggest problem at the moment.   The only thing that has really been on my mind is just   feeling a bit lonely, to be honest. It's   the not lonely in the sense of friends.   I've got an amazing friend group, not lonely in the sense of family. You know, I'm very close with my brother and dad. And,   I had some recent experiences with my cousins, which was also like, oh, you know, it was it was nice. I actually really enjoyed hanging out with them, and kind of wish I knew them a bit better, to be honest. So   when I go to New Zealand, we'll probably get the chance to to do that.  

Because I knew them as as kids, you know, we'd see them once every 2 years, roughly, I'd say on average, but, you know, that's just not a lot of time to   become very close with your cousins.   No,   the the loneliness feeling is just just for with a partner, man, just, you know, the physical touch   of   being with someone who,   I guess, gets you and loves you in that, in the romantic sense.   And honestly, that is the only thing that   really is on my mind,   in the sense of something I wish I could solve.  

[00:46:06] Kyrin Down:

And   the  

[00:46:09] Kyrin Down:

the dilemma, I guess, is how I go about solving it. And you've heard me talk about this multiple times in the podcast, and I still have not come to a conclusion.   I think,   for what I   I kind of envision and for what I would like my life to   to look like.   The the people that I know who have had kids recently who are in long term relationships,   the you know, as much as I love Latin America, as much as I,   I mean, like, honestly,   I love I love all sorts of cultures. This this Latin America certainly is a is a big portion because I've spent so much time here.   But when I imagine, like,   will,   you know, getting   finding a girl here, for example,   I thought it was maybe a possibility before I came, because I'm like, you know, I'm going to be here a fair amount of time, at least 3 months,   smaller enough time to, to find someone, I can meet them multiple times, you know, I'm gonna come back to Brazil, for example. So I'll end up spending   more than 90 days here in total, it'd probably be closer to like 120.  

And   initially, I first thought   before I came,   you know, I could potentially do what what happened last time I met an amazing girl, Andrea, a Colombian girl. This was in Argentina. And we we got on amazing. And,   you know,   with her, I I saw that we could have a life together because   a lot of our things matched, you know, she was already living outside of her own country. She spoke English really well, you know, fluently.   She got me, I got her. We we complimented each other in many, many different ways. And it and it kind of made sense to me where I was like, I think this could work. I think this could work long term.   And, you know, it didn't pan out. And that's   for for other reasons, kind of outs, I guess, outside, I won't say outside of both of our control. But   when I look at like, how would it have worked on the logistical basis, for example,   Let's say, for me, I was very strident, like, and I still am that   I want to live in Australia. It's an amazing place,   and   nowhere else in the world has called to me as being like this. I need to move here. This is better. This can this is a better place in Australia.  

And   when I look at logistically say she had moved there, I mean, first as a whole visa process,   If that hadn't destroyed the relationship, and we got through that, and then we have a kid,   and then, you know, it would have been   me her. And then,   you know, my dad, my brother and close friends.   And   dad would have been taken, you know, spending a lot of time having having to look after mom, he wouldn't have been able to help out so much.   The   I just go, you know, like, it's   it's been it's pretty damn important having a social circle   built in   for that   that individual who   who who I want to spend time with as well, like, you know,   she she and but me knowing me, like, I need my own personal space as well. I I'm not I'm not a let's do everything together sort of guy. I need to be able to go off into my own little zone and and do my own little things for at least an hour or 2 a day, I think.  

And that's that's why, you know, I think with Andrea could have worked because she also needed her space and time and didn't want to be together all the time.   But it would have gotten on her I'm sure, you know, being in Australia, and it's like unless she integrated really well,   she wouldn't have had a friend group. She wouldn't have had family here. She would have been starting off from scratch. And this is, you know, saying as if, I was in Australia right now.   So   all in all, this is just making me think more and more like, okay. I think,   you   know, scratch that   off the list. I wouldn't I wouldn't say it's impossible to meet   a girl from another country from another culture.  

But I think   the more likely way that it's gonna happen is that they will already be in Australia, like they will have had some sort of calling or drive to come to Australia,   much like Lucas did, for example.   And we made good friends there. And we became friends there.   So   that's kind of I guess, like my plan, go back to Australia and   begin searching. And   this is where it's just like,   how do I do that? Do I do that by   increasing my surface area and,   and   becoming more integrated into groups? Do I do that by   doing what's how I found found my previous girlfriends, which is hitting the streets and   going up to random girls. And if they're pretty and talking to them, do I do this by using the dating apps? Do I use this by   doing something   like a, you know, exposing myself to where I'm more likely to   meet   a   someone who's got similar values to me in terms of   yoga or handstands   or language learning or different cultures.  

I don't know, maybe I'll have to experiment with all of them. Again, this is the cycle, this is what is going on. But that is certainly my   my goal, my aim, I suppose when I get back to Australia, that's probably the  

[00:51:49] Kyrin Down:

the most important priority.   That,  

[00:51:52] Kyrin Down:

for me actually takes over   the podcast   that probably is more important than,   the even training   and which and you know how much I love training.   I I think that's probably the thing I I need to focus on the most and and really   give as much attention as I can to that.   And, yeah, trying to find the one I guess. So   that's my plan.   Next year, I would love to be traveling again. And there might be an event which will force me to travel at the very least and force me to travel to Europe,   which   would   was kind of in my plans.   In any case, because   Brisbane winter is just it's miserable. I didn't realize how bad it was until I went. I was here in Brazil, then I went back and I went, damn, this sucks.  

I don't want to be   here. So   I would love to not be in Australia again for for next winter.   I would love to travel Europe.   But I think for me, traveling Europe also  

[00:52:54] Kyrin Down:

is I want to do that with a partner.  

[00:52:57] Kyrin Down:

I don't really see   the appeal for me of doing that solo unless it was kind of similar to this trip and   I went there purely to   meet up with, you know, Oscar Mary in England,   my friend Cloud in Switzerland,   that I might know, like   a random one of her acquaintance in Germany.   Dimplex is in Germany   as well.   I know   do I know some, I'd probably be able to know, like, no friends or friends in Portugal   or, you know, Luke's family   there.   I have an Spain is appealing to me is just as a culture. But   I think I'd want I'd want to do that with a with a girl. So   that's also kind of dependent on just how the the next, you know, 6 to 9 months goes. So   alright. That's it.  

That's it. Travel plans.   All done. Mom, all done. Problems all done.   How am I going? I'm actually in a pretty good mood. This went way longer than I thought it would. I thought this would be like a   45 minute session. But   there you go. I found out that I can talk when I want to.   So   yeah, that's that's it.   I would love to to hear from you. If you've got any thoughts,   if you're any of the people that I mentioned in this and any of those travel plans   sound like they could use awesome updating some improving any ideas or suggestions, I would love to hear them.   If you   have,   you know, connected   in any case, in any way with my story about my mom.  

If I've left out any links, if you can't find anything,   please reach out via any of the social media platforms, we usually will see things.   And if if we don't,   and have not responded is not is not through malice, it is through   potentially inattention slash   sometimes we just don't even see things sometimes they they don't show up YouTube comments go missing.   Instagram comments go missing. There's all sorts of   all sorts of, shenanigans that go on with that stuff.   We really do appreciate you sending us some time, talent or treasure to help support this pro podcast. So time   is it's honestly the easiest way is just to tell a friend tell a friend that the you enjoyed this episode, tell a friend who's perhaps going through,   some some woman problems and they they they would identify with this tell a friend who has perhaps lost a loved one soon and,   had had,   you know, had to do a memorial service or had to do a speech. I would, you know, may they might they might connect with us.  

The   other way you can do that is via talent. So if you've got any suggestions for places I could go, if you've got any suggestions   for   a girl   in Australia,   in Brisbane,   that would that would be amazing.   And then finally, some treasure. We do have a PayPal link, which you can see in the show notes and the way but the way that we really love it is if you send in a boostgram,   a boostgram is a support   of satoshis, AKA Bitcoin,   which you can do directly within your podcasting app. No need to go elsewhere unless you do not have a good one. So   a good one nowadays   is,   we've got a whole bunch of lists on the mere mortals podcast.com/support.  

I will list some off right now. Truefans,   fountain podcast guru pod verse, castomatic,   curio caster,   Breeze. These are all decent apps which you can use to help support the show. And it is very much appreciated when you do so. And we'd love to call it out and thank thank those people individually.   So that's it for today. Thank you everyone for joining in for this.   Kyren solo sowed. Next week 1 will be we'll be back. We'll be talking about some monkeys. We'll be talking about some animals.   And I think we're gonna be talking about,   farm life as well, perhaps living off the grid and, and things like that. So   tune in to next week's episode. And until then, ciao for now. Kyron out. Bye.