In this candid, empowering conversation, I sit down with menopause strategist Marjie Martini to bring light, language, and laughter to a phase too many women are told to just endure. Marjie unpacks her decade-long journey—misdiagnoses, brain fog, bleeding crises, a lifesaving hysterectomy, and ultimately thriving with tailored bioidentical hormones and lifestyle shifts. We walk through her Five Pillars—hormones, nutrition, exercise, sleep, and stress (plus the bonus: community)—and how to approach change without overwhelm by focusing on one lever at a time. From sleep rituals and protein-forward meal prep to cortisol-calming tactics, partner support, and navigating care options and costs, this episode is a practical roadmap to reclaiming wellbeing across a 10–15 year transition that’s different for every woman.
We also discuss why “maintenance is cheaper than repair,” the cognitive and bone-health implications of declining estrogen, the nuances of lab testing and finding the right hormone doctor, and why tools must evolve as you do. Marjie shares resources, real client wins, and concrete strategies for women—and their partners—to reduce stigma, advocate at work, and make menopause not just bearable, but a season to play, lift heavy, love big, and lead with fewer f*cks given about the noise and more care for ourselves and each other.
🔥LISTEN TO EPISODE HERE
https://serve.podhome.fm/episodepage/djvalerieblove/5-pillars-to-make-menopause-fun--marjie-martini
(00:00:30) Opening: Making menopause more bearable, not medical advice
(00:01:40) Guest intro: Margie Martini and the five pillars tease
(00:01:56) Menopause as a 10–15 year transformative process
(00:03:02) Tools and the evolving menopause toolbox
(00:03:59) Hosts personal spiral and sleep struggles
(00:05:19) Margies journey: misdiagnosis, brain fog, and bioidenticals
(00:09:06) Books, WHI fallout, and HRT backlash
(00:11:46) Barriers to care and finding a practitioner
(00:13:00) Lab insights and life-changing hormone support
(00:15:27) Emergency hysterectomy and lifestyle adjustments
(00:17:29) Rethinking exercise, stress, and symptom relief
(00:18:07) The Five Pillars: hormones, nutrition, exercise, sleep, stress (+community)
(00:19:40) Sleep wins: protocols, magnesium, and 03:00 wakeups
(00:21:32) Start with one pillar: food frequency and fueling
(00:23:19) Client case study: sleep ritual to nutrition reboot
(00:27:06) From brain fog to workouts: managing cortisol and stress tools
(00:30:36) Natural routes vs HRT and finding the right doctor
(00:32:04) Testing, seasons, and scripts that change
(00:34:10) Menorage and a turnaround story with HRT
(00:34:10) Hot flashes, quick adjustments, and mood swings
(00:37:35) Partners role and a book for men
(00:40:41) Sex, pain, timing, and setting the mood
(00:43:01) Overwhelm happens: tools, water, music, and boundaries
(00:45:10) Cost, access, and budgeting for hormone care
(00:50:43) Sleep, sobriety, and going slow
(00:51:36) Trust your body: prevention and cognition benefits
(00:53:33) Workplace advocacy: supporting top performers in menopause
(00:57:51) Light at the end: empowerment after 45
(01:02:46) Rites of passage: from crone to empress years
(01:05:18) Balance the inside: evolving tools and lifelong habits
(01:10:31) Make it fun: lifting weights, buddies, and retreats
(01:13:28) Realistic time management and self-compassion
(01:15:32) Protein Powerballs and food prep hacks
(01:17:21) Ask for help before the rock bottom
(01:18:58) If not HRT, optimize the other pillars and supplements
(01:19:50) Depression, anxiety, thyroid, and comprehensive care
(01:21:45) Find educated doctors and read your symptoms, not just labs
(01:23:30) Recommended resources: books and The M Factor
(01:25:57) Retreats, Instagram, and how to work with Margie
(01:27:52) Final advice: listen, respect, and act before the scream
(01:29:22) Maintenance over repair: heed the check engine light
(01:30:24) Closing gratitude and invitation to thrive
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[00:00:30]
Unknown:
I know it must sound a little crazy using menopause and fun in the same title. However, this interview with my guest, Margie Martini, who is a menopause strategist, knows how to help you ladies out there, and, hopefully, your partners help make menopause a little bit more fun, more bearable. But it's a very serious thing that's happening to millions of women every single day, and it's not talked about. It's not looked at, and it's basically shoved under the rug. And a lot of times, it's misdiagnosed, and it's just prescribed with certain types of pills that you gotta you're stuck on for life. So, unfortunately, menopause is something that happens to every single woman if we reach this age, And we don't know what to look for. We don't know how to take care of ourselves. We don't know how to be, preemptive in this journey. And this is such an important topic that if you have a loved one or you are the one who is experiencing this, please listen. Once again, this is not medical advice, it's not financial advice, and it's not legal advice. However, it's really, really great conversation with somebody who's in the trenches every single day. So please enjoy, and, I'll talk to y'all soon. Aloha.
So stoked to have you here, Margie. Let's talk about the five pillars of menopause, how you got into helping women, and let's let's hear from you, my sister. Thank you for being here.
[00:01:50] Unknown:
Thanks, Val. Thanks for having me on the show. I really appreciate it. Yeah. It's a big topic. You know, it's the hot, you know, trending conversation on social media right now is menopause. What to do, what not to do, all the things to take, what not to take, how to live, what to do, how to breathe, how to have sex, all those things. But it's like and once you start scrolling and your algorithm picks that up, that's all you get. That's all you get, all you get on your feed. But it's a process and it I think the biggest thing for women to understand is that it's actually like a ten to fifteen year process. And through the course of that, it's completely a transformative time in your life. And it can start anywhere from 39 or earlier and go all the way through until you're 60.
So people have this concept that, you know, you you stop having your period and then, like, all the symptoms end and that just doesn't happen. It's kinda like the symptoms keep going and they keep evolving. So my thing is I'm just trying to help women navigate that change and to understand that every woman is different and what works for one woman doesn't necessarily work for another woman. And what worked for you at 42 probably isn't going to work for you at 48. It's definitely not going to work at 54. So there's like, I call it the toolbox and it's like all the things you put in the toolbox, you got to keep like sharpening them and changing them up and modifying them so that you've got this arsenal basically of survival tools and tips and tidbits to help you get through all the different phases that you're going to go through and, you know, and to be like a person at the, well, I'm not at the end of the tunnel yet at fifty five, but I'm getting there.
I can honestly say like, you know, there is light at the end of the tunnel and you can completely and totally rock this period of your life. If you have the right tools and you prioritize your self care as first and foremost.
[00:03:59] Unknown:
Yeah. I think it's something that, you know, myself included, and I know we talked about this at the beginning of this year, about, like, hormone replacement therapy and menopause. I'm like, oh, I'm doing great. It's it's great. I'm fine. I'm fine. And then it was just, like, obviously, I have a series of my life just hit me, and I wasn't sleeping. All sorts of stuff happened, and it was just like, hey, Marge. How's it going? I need some help, dude. Identifying it as, like, a fifteen year process, I can totally relate to that. Because back in, like, 2015, 2016, when I was in perimenopause, it was just like, what the heck is going on? You know? I was just in my forties, and I was just grumpy and wasn't sleeping. All this stuff and stress and foggy brain and forgetting everything, and I'm just like, is this menopause? And, you know, I still have my period and everything, but it's a really, it's not I don't know. It's just like you think like you said, you're gonna stop having your period and life goes on and whoop de doo. And I'm like, no. This this is tough. And I know a lot of women go through, like you said, all these different symptoms, and each person's body is different and how we solve for the you know, our symptoms is gonna be a little bit different. How did you how did this become your life passion and, like, your life's work? How did you start doing this?
[00:05:19] Unknown:
Well, I think there was a couple things that happened. You know, like I'm 55 now. So when I, when I look back on it really, I got my first misdiagnosis for perimenopause when that was when I was 39. And I went through my forties, and my forties were, like, to be honest, like, living fucking hell. My periods were super heavy. They were, like, twice a month. I would go through a super plus tampon and a pad and period panties every forty five minutes. And it progressively got worse. And ironically, when I think back on it, one of my first symptoms that I complained to my GP about was I had gotten asthma, like, out of the blue at 39.
And I've been a long distance runner my whole life. And she just kinda blew it off and just said, you know, it's, you know, it's because you grew up in a smoking household. And I was like, what? And, you know, there were all these like, things that happen and it wasn't really until I was 44 and I was actually really starting to like have a nervous breakdown and freak out because I thought I was developing early onset Alzheimer's when my father had died of Alzheimer's. And, I was to be honest, like freaking out. I was forgetting things. I was couldn't remember people's names, places. I'm a super hyper organized person. So it was terrifying to me.
My roommate and my boyfriend, like I almost burnt down my house twice by leaving the stove on, like it was constant and I had constant like memory loss, brain fog and massively huge fatigue. Like I'd, I would go for a run and I'd feel great for twenty minutes and walk home and I couldn't make it up the stairs. And so I had I was on I tried every I tried it, and I was always been a health nut. I've always tried every supplement, natural herb, you name it. My supplement drawer was, like, three drawers deep. So I was drying everything. And I met this really cool woman and I did her hair and, you know, she was in her sixties at the time. And she told me about bioidentical hormone replacement. And she told me to read this book by TC Wiley called sex, lies, and menopause.
[00:07:43] Unknown:
And Sex, lies, and menopause?
[00:07:46] Unknown:
Sex, lies, and menopause. And Okay. So I read it and literally it transformed my life. Like this is a book that every woman should read at the age of 16, because it explains to you your cycle and how you're supposed to have children and how the foods that you eat affect your cycle. And when our estrogen is the highest and how it decreases and you know, how our bodies aren't really, haven't really evolved to the point to live past 50 in theory, you know, and how our environment has affected that. So I read this book and all these bells went off and I started doing some research, and that's how it started because, like, I read the book in, like I was 44, so I read it in, like, you know, 2014.
And I went searching for a doctor, a practitioner who could do something called the Wiley protocol, which was bioidentical hormone replacement in a rhythm method. That's what she developed. Now she developed this in, like and published the book in 2003. Okay. So this is like, I read it, like, ten, eleven years after it had been written. So I did some digging and it turns out that, like, she actually collaborated with Suzanne Somers, and Suzanne Somers wrote a book in 2006 called the ageless, which most women know about. It's kinda like the first antiaging menopause bioidentical hormone book.
And then you go back and you take a look at the Women's Health Initiative and the report that was released in 2002 and how they told everyone that, you know, HRT was gonna cause cancer and all these women got ripped off their HRT. So you take a look at that and you I I started to ask a lot of questions. In 2000, thirty eight percent, estimate, thirty eight percent of, you know, the women in The US were on HRT. Okay. That's generally pharmaceutical HRT, but, you know, and these are women 40. So you got thirty eight percent of the population of women 40 in 2000 that are on HRT. By 2002, 2003, all those women have been taken off of their supplements. And now thirty eight percent of the population is crazy.
Okay. Alright. Yeah. And then guess what guess what everyone went on? They went on SSRIs. They went on NSRIs. SSRIs. Here you go. I'm depressed. Yeah. Right. That that's, like, that's for sure. If my estrogen was on the toilet and I was 50 and I was on a hormone replacement and I was taking estrogen, and then you've ripped me off of it because you say I'm gonna get breast cancer, I'd be fucking depressed too. Like, I'm totally depressed.
[00:10:42] Unknown:
But but you are like, we're going we go through those mood swings and when we're not sleeping and when we're growing all this stuff, and I remember having a hair client. I remember having a hair client. I I got a couple Alzheimer's tests back when I was in my early you know, mid late forties, early fifties because I was like, what the heck is wrong with me? You know? And same thing. I could I was bleeding all the time. I ended up having to finally get an IUD with progesterone because I was bleeding so much, you know? And I was like, this is not okay. Like, something's wrong with me. It was crazy. Like, I remember Yeah. Having hair clients in my chair in, like, 2003
[00:11:17] Unknown:
that had come off their hormone replacement. And, you know, this one woman went from, like, hair like yours, Val, like, long and blonde down to, you know, her waist. She decided to cut it off and dye it red. I made her do it like over four weeks. So we finally did it. And she walks out of the salon and three days later, she comes in and starts screaming at me and all the staff because we've ruined her life. And I was just like, what is going on with this woman? Like, I didn't know, no one knew that it was menopause and it was coming off your HRT.
So, so when I was 44, I read this book. It took me a year to find a doctor in Vancouver that did the Riley protocol. And when I did actually find a practitioner, she had a nine month wait list and just to make an appointment was a $600 deposit. Holy shit. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. K. This is in 2014. Wow. So I kept digging. And finally I found it was actually a Canadian doctor, but she had been living in Hong Kong and she practiced at a Whistler. And I spent over, that time, like over $6,000 for private consultations with her lab tests and hormonal support. Wow. And she had to send all my lab work to Hong Kong because in Canada, she could you couldn't even run those tests at that time. You probably can't even run them now.
She was she at that time did like a full functional blood analysis on me. Like, this is like eleven years ago. So she was looking at my vitamins, my minerals, my supplements, hormone levels, all of it. So it came back and I was completely deficient in testosterone at 44. I was deficient in B12. I was low in progesterone, like all of, all of these things at 44. So she put me on bioidenticals from a compounding pharmacy. At that time, I was spending about $350 a month. Within four weeks, my memory was back four weeks. Wow. My energy level was back. Like, I remember saying to her, like, I went I remember I'll never forget this day. I went into the grocery store and I couldn't find my list of the things I needed to buy.
And I was like and I was like, okay, maybe I can remember. So I walked around the store and I put all these things in my bag, in my basket. I get to the checkout and I go to pay and my list falls out of my wallet. And I look at the list and I look at my basket and I had remembered all 12 items. And I started, and I started, I started to cry. And I said to my doc at the time, I told her the story. I was like, so I couldn't fucking remember where I put the fucking list, but I was able to remember everything was on it. So I'm taking it as a win, you know, and she's killing herself, but it worked.
It still didn't help with all the other things. Like it, it helped with the brain fog and all of this, but I still, I still had all my period problems. I had uterus problems. I had all these other problems that I truly believed were caused because my hormones were so imbalanced for so many years. Yeah. So when I hit 49, I ended up in the hospital in Mexico, in Puerto Vallarta. And I was about twelve hours away from going septic because I had to have an emergency hysterectomy because I was bleeding. I was bleeding out. And this is after being two, one, two, three, four doctors, two in Canada and two in Mexico. And then finally ended up the fourth one was the gynecologist who saved my life. And it was at that point where I was like, this has to change.
Now, luckily, luckily at that time, I was now working with a great hormone doctor in Mexico, and I was already on hormone support at this time. So they took my uterus out. Really, I should have gone through menopause at that point, but because we adjusted my hormones and we started adding in estrogen at this point, and we adjusted everything because I had had a hysterectomy, I I rolled through. Like I rolled through it. I didn't get hot flashes. I didn't get night sweats. I didn't get any of those things. And I actually just started to get better and better. But that was the point when I really had to start adjusting my lifestyle because the hormones were helping, but I was still noticing things like I was gaining, you know, belly fit and visceral fat and my normal exercise programs weren't working and what I was eating properly wasn't working. And my stress level wasn't working. So I just started reading and studying and really looking at what I was putting in my body. And it's all about what kind, you know, if you put shit in, you're going to get shit out.
And that's the bottom line. And, you know, but women were, we're stubborn. We are so stubborn. We, and I, and I get it. Like, you know, by the time you get to 45 or 50, you're like, I don't want, I don't want, I don't want my body needs. I know, I know what my body needs. I know how to lose weight. Like I talk to women all the time and they're like, I'm gaining weight. And I, and they're like, I'm just gonna stop eating carbs. I was like, oh, okay. Try that and see how that works for you. Or they're like, you know, I'm just gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna start exercising more. And then like three months later, they're like, I'm gaining two pounds. I'm gaining two pounds a month. And I'm like, yeah. Cause what worked in our thirties and forties doesn't work now.
It, it just doesn't like, and that's the thing, like what worked for me at 48 doesn't work now at 54. Like, this is the first time in my life where I'm not running. I've run my whole life. I'm not running now. I'm not, you know, I'm doing hit. I'm doing hit classes twice a week, but I'm doing them at 50% of what I used to do six years ago because I don't want it to stress my body that much. It's super, it's super. Yeah. It's like, but the thing about it is when you find the tools, when you have the tools in your arsenal that you know, that work for you in this moment, like right now, then the symptoms and your quality of life, your symptoms dissipate and your quality of life escalates.
Let's talk about the five pillars. Yeah, the five pillars. Well, no one here, the audience wants to know. The five pillars. This is just something my girlfriend and I came up with. You know, she's a personal trainer and nutritionist, and she's 52 and her and I have had countless, endless conversations about crazy shit. We came up with five things. It's basically, it comes down to your hormones, your hormones, your nutrition, your exercise, your sleep patterns. That's a big one, and your stress level. And then we have, like, the bonus pillar in there, which is your community. Being able to talk to people that actually don't think you're crazy. It's always a good one. You know? And we just have kind of broken it down that way. So when we when talk to our girlfriends or I talk to my clients, I'm like, okay, these are the five pillars.
Why only tell me what's pissing you off the most? So let's just start there because you can't change everything at once because that just takes that takes you out before you start. And by the time I get to women there, and that's, this is the big one. Like I love that there's so much menopause awareness now. I love it. Love it. Love it. I am in support of all these women that are out there speaking for it. And, but now it's, it's just taken everyone into a state of overwhelm. Like even you value or overwhelmed when you talk to me about it, you're like, I don't I don't even know what, I don't know. Am I taking creatine? Am I not taking it? Am I fasting? Am I on keto? Like, you were just like, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.
[00:19:40] Unknown:
Yeah. And I think the sleep part too, Margie, like I told you recently because I got, you know, I got the IUD out and I started doing the the bioidentical from you. And and I've been sleeping, like, I mean, like, eight hours straight every single night. And I'm like, this is great. You know? I'm taking magnesium and the the progesterone and, you know, d a k e at night together, and I'm like, thank you, god. I I woke up, and it's the morning. You were 03:00 wake up where I sit there for two hours and stress out about how I'm not sleeping, and then I feel like shit in the morning. It's been just that alone has improved my mood. I'm sure it's improved my memory. You know? And I'm just, like, so grateful that, you know, I have you to help me with this, and I've had you to get rid of the hormones and talking about all this stuff. You know? And I know that I'm stubborn too because I'm, you know, I'm set in my ways a lot. So it's like, if you give me too many things to try to change at once, it's like, okay. Never mind. I'm not gonna do any of them. So just like you said, focusing on one thing at a time, I feel like I'm able to digest that a little bit more in my transformation journey into acceptance
[00:20:46] Unknown:
of my loved ones. You know, like, and to be honest, it's like, you know, when I talk to women, like when I talk to you, it's like, okay, what do you wanna work on? Let's just work on one thing. That's one thing. K. Yeah. So in your case, we worked on your sleep. We built you a sleep ritual and you had a lot of really great sleep patrol habits to begin with anyway. Right? Oh, and you know, you, you get a woman into that and it gives them like two weeks and you start to see a little bit of change. And it's like, okay. When you start to feel better, because you're sleeping, then you're able to take on a little bit more. So and then it's like, okay. Then let's have a conversation about your diet. Okay. Well, that's a yeah. That's usually a big one. So women have to be really motivated to change up their diet. So sometimes I just skip over that one and we'll just go, okay. Let's get you moving more and let's talk about your movement and adjusting your movement.
Okay. And, you know, because it's, you know or the biggest one I actually I go with is and I did this with you. I'm like, can you eat more food, please? Remember that? Can you, can you, can you eat more food? Just a little bit more. I think maybe like three or four times a day. I'm not hungry. I don't wanna eat more. I'm not hungry. I'm like, no. Weight. That's the thing. I've gained all this weight, and I'm like, I'm not eating as much as I used to. What's wrong here? So and I know I haven't been moving as much this year, but yeah. Starving. It's it's So yeah. Like, that's that's the biggest one. Like, is like, I've I've been working with this great client. She's she's so awesome. But, you know, she's she's she's in it. You know? She's, you know, she's late forties. She's a single mom. She's got, like, an eight year old. She's an entrepreneur, you know?
And she's running. Like, I'm telling you, running, running, running from the moment she wakes up until the moment she goes to bed. She's got staff and responsibilities and a kid and she's all on her own and all of these types of things. And, you know, her biggest, she wasn't sleeping. And she, you know, she had, she was on hormones, which is great. She was on them and she had seen some improvement, some, but not a ton, like a little bit, like I would say maybe 50%. Okay. But she still had big brain fog. She had she wasn't she she had brain fog. She had this 03:00 in the afternoon crash. She had waking up at 04:00 in the morning and coming back to sleep. So the biggest one we tackled first was her sleep ritual. And and basically it was getting her to shut down two hours before she was going into bed and to turn off her electronics and walk and have a shower or a bath and listen to a great song or meditation or this or this or this. And so we handpicked these key things that worked for her and she put them into her sleep ritual.
And within two weeks, she was sleeping through the night and she was getting seven to eight hours. What was super interesting is we're like at twelve weeks now is a couple of weeks ago. She kind of fell off the wagon a little bit. And it was actually her daughter who said to her, mommy, we need to do our sleep ritual this week because you're not sleeping as well. I love kids. I love kids when they say things like this.
[00:24:09] Unknown:
Hey, everybody. We had a minor technical difficulty, but we're gonna pick up this conversation again. Thanks, Margie. So, you know, the what you were saying was the daughter was recognizing that, hey, we need to do this sleep ritual, mom. And isn't it so important? And I know a lot of times we think we're all alone, and we have to do our health and wellness and sobriety and menopause and working out and money all alone. But when you have people that love you, whether it's your kids or your partner or your friends or an accountability buddy, it makes the journey less lonely, and you feel loved and supported because it does feel like you're kind of an alien sometimes when you're going through certain things like this. And menopause, it's new for all of us women who enter it. We hadn't done it before. I mean, we've had our periods, but we haven't had this whole menopause, thing go on. And we'll talk about menorrhage in a little bit, but I wanna keep going about you know so now that this client has been able to sleep and is feeling a little bit better because her sleep's going on, how what else are you helping with the five pillars for her?
[00:25:11] Unknown:
So, you know, it goes step by step. So when she's finally started to sleep and feel better, she had more energy. Her brain fog dropped a little bit, but she was still like, she would, every time I talked to her, like every week, she was like, I'm still like, I'm not a 100%. She didn't have enough. She didn't have enough energy. So we got into the nutrition pillar, and this was really this is a big one for a lot of women because women generally don't eat or they don't wanna eat. They're terrified of gaining weight. They're already gaining weight, so they're freaking out. So in her case, she wasn't eating enough. You know, she had had stomach surgery several years ago, so she technically should have been eating, like, four to six times a day, but really small amounts, but she just wasn't eating at all. So, and, you know, she has a young daughter and, you know, cooking and prepping and all this type of stuff. So we got her on a food prep program and she did get, you know, her cleaning lady to help her with her food prep twice a week and organizing her groceries and those types of things. And it was instantaneous, like instantaneous within like four days of her eating consistently every couple hours and increasing her protein intake.
And as soon as she started doing that, her brain fog was like almost gone. That was it. Wow. And the next week she came in and she's like, yeah, I'm using my protein powder and my coffee. I'm eating my protein Powerballs. She was having an, you know, a good amount of protein and veg and everything for lunch. And, you know, they were, they had changed up. They were having dinner earlier so that they could start their sleep ritual. And she always had food available in the fridge. So it was like, whether it was like chalk veggies or, you know, pieces of chicken or whatever, there was always something available to her. And as soon as that kicked in and she realized that the two things together, like sleeping and eating all of a sudden within three weeks, she was back working out.
[00:27:19] Unknown:
Nice.
[00:27:20] Unknown:
She was starting to drop weight and her brain fog was there, but this was the biggest, this was the biggest tool. This was the biggest tool and that would end her arsenal really was her ability to handle her stress management and her cortisol, because she has been, you know, she's in her forties. She's been a woman that has run on cortisol her whole life. Like, go, go, go, go, go fight or flight. I gotta do this. I gotta take care of this person. I gotta take care of this person. I gotta take care of my kid and my staff and this, my dad, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and Okay. And we went through it. So one of the things that calms her down the best is water. So we went through what she could do with water to help calm her down. So if she couldn't float in the pool, if she couldn't have a shower, she would go into the bathroom and run water on her wrist. Like as soon as she started to feel like that, that panicking or, you know, the other one was music. So we went through some different playlists, some different meditation playlists, and I got her into something called soul phlego frequencies.
So when she was experienced, when she was starting to experience the overwhelm and her brain started to race, she would put her headphones in, put her phone on airplane mode and start listening to whatever playlist or her frequencies or whatever it was. So what was it happening is instead of these extreme spikes and lows, it was more of a little bit of a roll. And as, and we, we tracked it over a four week period that the role, the difference between the high and low increased as soon as she slacked off on her nutrition or her sleeper tool. And this is where it's like, all the pillars are interconnected.
Right. So it's like the biggest one for her was giving her a form of structure with some tools in her box that she could use, that she would remember to use. So, you know, when I would check-in with her every couple of days, it would be like, how's your day going or whatever. And she would say something and I would be like, okay, what tool out of your box can you pull out today? And she's like, okay, right. I'm gonna go to go and do this. You know, and it it's the simple things. And that was, you know, now she's at like 12, fourteen weeks, and now we're really starting to go for it. Like her, you know, her kid's doing great. She's back in school. They have a great more structure in their life. She's expanding her business. Like she is Caliente, as we say in Mexico, she is on fire fuego.
Like it's great. It's awesome. But, you know, like the biggest one with her is that the hormones got her started, but it was all of the life changes that really took her there. And it's interesting because every woman is really, really, really different. And, you know, I find that there is like a lot of women that want to do everything naturally. Okay. And they're really resistant to hormone replacement. They want to take supplements instead or make lifestyle changes. And I am all for that. I am absolutely 100% for that. But I kind of look at it this way. It's like how severe are your symptoms? Because if you're gonna, if you're gonna take the natural route, then you're gonna be treating the symptom.
Okay. So like you can use Ashwagandha, you can use melatonin and you can use all of these things, but you're treating the symptom. If you're a person where your hormones are depleted. Okay. Then treat the root cause, which is the fact that you've lost a significant amount of estrogen or in my case, you know, I, I was, I had no testosterone. Yeah. Okay. So, and you know, this, this takes it into, you can treat it however you want to treat it, you know, and definitely I think the key point of this is, and it's going to take some woman. It takes a while. You have to really find an amazing hormonal doctor that resonates with you. And this is a person that you are looking to build a ten to fifteen year relationship with, because I can attest to this. Your script is going to change every year, every six months, with the seasons, with your stress level. So you have to be able to be in communication with that doctor and know that your script is going to change. And people are always like, well, my hormone panel says this. My hormone panel says that your hormone panel is one tenth of the pie.
Okay. It's a baseline. Like the, one of my greatest regrets is that I never got my hormones tested when I was 38. If I had known what my hormones were at 38, then I would know what my optimal is. So I would know how to supplement, to go back to my optimal. I tell all my servicers that are in their thirties, get your hormone panel done now. And, Marjatha, you can stick it in your arse. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I know we were just talking about wishing that we had, like, cool aunties like us when we were in our thirties, you know, to understand this stuff. Like Yeah. Like Wow. You know? So but it's taken me ten years of bioidentical hormone replacement to figure out where my optimal is. And that changes like my script changes. It's crazy. Like, you know, my I've got a couple girlfriends who have been on them almost as long as I have. And, you know, we talk about it and it's like my spurt changes in the winter. I I need less testosterone in the winter and I need more testosterone in the summer because I'm working out more. I'm sweating more. I'm this and this and this. Right? And the second, like, I've had a couple moments where all of a sudden I was like, oh my god. You know, I just have to have a hot flash. I've already had a few hot flashes because I've been on hormones. I was like, holy, holy shit.
I had last November, I was having hot flashes. I was on the phone. So phones got fast to the doc. I was like, I think I'm having a flush. There's something wrong. You need to address my script. And he was awesome. He was like, calm down. I'm like, I need a new, I need a new cream. I need a new cream. And within five days, he's like, he's like, okay. This is what I wanna do. I'm gonna order a new cream, and you're just gonna double up on your estrogen cream for the next five days, like, and see if it helps. Sure shit. It helps.
And you're like, thank god. I was like, thank god. I was like, how do women do this without any help, especially the hot flashes and, and, you know, and,
[00:34:07] Unknown:
and the, the anger, like the mood swings, like Let's talk about menarage. This is a good life. I didn't even know this was a thing. And I experienced this in my lifetime and my poor children had to deal with it. And I didn't know that was going on.
[00:34:20] Unknown:
One of the best success stories was one of my girlfriends. And she, you know, she was super resistant to it and it, and it took her about two or three years to actually like consider going on hormones and addressing what she was going through. But she was like, she was a Scorpio. She's like super vibrant, super sexy, like loves men, loves life, like super fun, totally on point. And she went through these couple of years where she just got angry. She was just angry and bitter and it got worse and worse. And the more she drank, the worse it got. And she would started drinking a lot, a lot, a lot of wine, and she would get really, really angry. She had no interest in men for years. She had no sex. She had nothing. And she was like, at one point, I think she thought she was a lesbian.
And she was just like, she was just absolutely not interested in men. And then she started to put on belly fat and it just, you know, and then she had, you know, like it just, it was like this continual slide downward spiral. It sounds like. Yeah. But it's almost like with the mental range, it's almost like, it's like women don't remember that they're that angry. You know, like when you have a kid and after you have a kid, it's like your body forgets how painful the birthing process was. And then like eighteen months later, you wanna get pregnant again, but you forget how much it hurts. It's almost like the same thing with mental rage. It's like, I watched women go completely nuts, start screaming at each other, and I'm just like and then the next day they're like, hey, babe. What's going on?
You were just reaching bitches to each other. And I was like, wow. Like, wow. And it was interesting because once it got to the point where, like, I knew that she wasn't super, super happy. She actually came came in to talk to me and she's like, I think I'm ready for some hormones. And I was actually kind of scared to, like, suggest anything because I was like, oh my gosh, it's gonna fall down. She went to the doctor and she got on some hormones. And I swear to God in four weeks, my beautiful girlfriend was back. It was unbelievable.
She was happy. She started online dating. She started getting laid. She was losing weight. She was back at the gym. She and what also happened because she was happier. She started drinking less.
[00:36:55] Unknown:
Yeah.
[00:36:55] Unknown:
And Yeah. You don't need that coping mechanism when you feel good. Just and, you know, like, two years into two years later, she's her fabulous her fabulous fucking self again. And it's like, and she unlike dates like a machine. She's like, she is like the proof that you can be like an absolute panther in your face. And she dates nothing but younger men and she's all about it. And I was like, wow.
[00:37:30] Unknown:
Go girl. Go cougar, panther girl. Well, so let's so a couple things. So as a menopause strategist, you know, you're somebody who obviously directly supports women, but I think about partners. Right? Whether you're a husband or a, you know, a wife has you know, woman partner. Like, those people should know about what's going on, and perhaps that's even another market that could be this address to you because if your partner doesn't know what's going on, how on earth can you feel supported? You're just like, here, go over there in the corner and go in your red tent and leave us alone until you feel better in twenty years. Like that's not partnership.
[00:38:08] Unknown:
A really good friend of mine that I've known for twenty five years and he is in journalism and I knew him like way back in my Whistler days. And he is a male advocate for menopause. Wow. And he has read all the books available for men. Kim and I are actually collaborating on a book for men Nice. To address women, you know, and I'm gonna, we're gonna call it, she's just not that into you because it's kinda true. But, you know, he and and so it's very cultural differences over there, and the stigmatism around menopause is very, very strong. They don't wanna talk about it. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. But, you know, he's he's done a deep dive because he does tons of research on, you know, the rates of divorce and separation and, you know, all of those things for men that are in their forties and fifties and what's going on with, you know, men have their own stuff going on. Totally. They're menopause.
They yeah. They have menopause and adriopause and all the other pauses. And, you know, and, you know, but, you know, really when I, you know, I've got a I've I do have a lot of girlfriends who have really, really solid husbands that they've had for, like, twenty or thirty years. But when I, when I talk to my buddies about it, they, they know, they know, they know what, you know, like I've even said they've said to me, like, how, how can I, how can I help her? Like, when she's like losing all of her shit, like, how do I help her? I'm like, you know, how you help her is you go around the house at the end of the night and you take her keys and her phone and her eyeglasses and all this thing and her wallet, and you put it in one central space. So when she wakes up in the morning, she knows where it is. That's how you help her when she is like raging or like having a complete meltdown and, you know, bursting into tears. You just go and give her a hug and you don't, you don't mansplain how to fix it.
[00:40:10] Unknown:
Yeah. I know. That's the men are from Mars, women are from Venus. Like, men are fixers. I have a lot of masculinity. I think you and I do because we're Aries and ruled by Mars, but I'm a fixer naturally, but I think men are fixers. They don't wanna just listen and just give you that hug. Right? And it's just like because it is. That's their nature, and it's okay. There's nothing wrong with men having that nature, but they do. They when they feel, like, something's broken or wrong, they're like, well, I'm well, I'm supposed to do something. So just sitting there with it, the thing that they're letting you know, the sadness and letting it pass is not in their nature. And the sex thing is, the sex thing is huge, you know, because
[00:40:47] Unknown:
a lot, a lot of women, when they go through menopause have big problems with sex. It's painful, it's dry. They have, you know, like physically it hurts. So, you know, estrogen creams and, and there's even like great companies out there that have like menopause lubes and things like that. Those things help, you know? And, but the men also intertwined with that have to understand that the woman still needs to be like, stimulated. She's gotta feel like in the mood. Now that's also her responsibility. And this is part like one of the things about the sleep rituals is like, if you've got a partner and you generally have sex at night or what have you, then it's like, you need to set yourself up. So it's like, you need to tone up, tune out, turn your phone off, have a bath, light a candle, do what you need to do to make yourself feel better. If you're waking up at 04:00 in the morning and your mind starts to race.
Okay. Well, that's a great time for early morning sets. Okay. Like change it up, you know, like, but for women, they just get to this point where they're so overwhelmed that having sex is just one more thing.
[00:41:59] Unknown:
Especially if you're, you know, you know, dealing with kids and bedtime rituals with them and the kids keep getting up and it's annoying, they won't go back to bed and yada yada yada. The last thing you wanna do is have another person tugging on you. But you just wanna be left alone and go away. And it's difficult because you have to, like, schedule, Like, don't come in our room. We're locking the door. Mommy and daddy are alone or, you know, whatever it might be. So each person is gonna have their own different way. I know for me as a young mom, it was just like, oh my god. Even, you know, I'm I'm an older mom. I have my kids later in life, but it was just like, I'm just exhausted. All I wanna do is sleep, but I knew I needed to, like I love sex. It's the best one of the best things God gave us. You know? It's like, woo hoo. Yeah. Like, thank you. Talk about a stress reliever. I know. Right? So okay. Well, let's circle back to the stress. Okay. So men are age is a thing. And men Men are age, you know partners helping their their beloved through this process is important.
[00:42:57] Unknown:
Is a thing. And it's like, and it can be about anything. It just, it, you know, it creeps up on you, like, you know, and let's, and this is what I said, like, even with all the great tools in your toolbox and even being on hormones, like I still have moments of mental health, You know, like, you know, I was cleaning up my, you know, my 15 year old dog's pee pad a couple of days ago and I just like freaking lost it. And I was like, okay, I need to like, need some water around those wrists. Like, I need to like, just tune out for a sec here.
So I think the biggest ex the biggest thing for women to understand is that to remove the overwhelm, the biggest thing is, is that you need to find the tools and strategize the way that works best for you because every woman is different. And if that includes, hormones, great. If it doesn't and you wanna do it naturally, great. But then you really have to be open to looking at the way you exercise your nutrition and how you manage your stress and how you're sleeping and be open to changing those things and keeping in the back of your mind that those tools are going to evolve and everything is going to change over the next ten to fifteen years. Some women still have menopause symptoms into their sixties.
So it's like, it's not this quick fix. It's not that. And the other one I get from women is well, I'm, I'm just, I'm just gonna wait. I'm just gonna wait until like my period stops and then I'll look at hormones or look at this or look at that. And I was like, why are you waiting to add something into your life that is going to help you from going crazy?
[00:44:43] Unknown:
Well, I think for and I'll I'll speak to that. Because I think we said earlier in the, the show, like, you know, beginning of this year, I was talking to you about, you know, hormone replacement and all this stuff, and I'm like, I'm fine. I feel good. And you're just like, mhmm. And cool. Great. Good for you, Val. And, you know, a couple things. Right? Because we think that things are gonna stay the same forever because that's how they've always been, and I'm gonna, you know, be able to eat what I want and not, you know, gain a whole bunch of weight, blah, blah, blah, all the things. And so we resist aging, you know, because we we don't want to age, and we, you know, think that, oh, no. No. I'm the special snowflake. I'm gonna be different. And then it's in our minds, we think it's very expensive to do this kind of stuff, you know, and that was an obstacle for me because I was like, I'll just save my money, and I'll wait. I'll wait. I'll wait. And it's like, by not getting sleep, not feeling good, I'm losing productivity. So it's actually costing me money not to manage my health you know? And everybody's obviously on different budgets, you know, and depending on what part of the world you're in. You know? Like, up here, hormone replacement therapy and going to the doctors and the testing is very, very expensive. And so I was just like, really? I gotta pay, like, a couple thousand dollars and do all this testing and then the hormones and then the the consultations? I'm like, yeah. No. I'm just gonna wait.
And, you know, so there's obviously options that you offer, you know, with, you know, the doctor that you work with and yourself as a strategist and you know? So do you wanna talk about that a little bit and help everybody kind of get, like, just to meet some you have to meet people where they're at, obviously. You know? Obviously. Everyone has to meet people where they're at. And
[00:46:18] Unknown:
the great thing about this is there's so many different options and platforms. Okay? So depending on where you are, like, let's okay. So in The United States, for example, like, if I have a client who contacts me and they're trying to figure out how they how they can change it up, it's like, okay. I try and target it where it's like, depending if you're gonna go on hormone replacement, I always say what's what's kind of your budget? Like, where where where where are you at? Because you can use pharmaceutical hormone replacement, which can be sometimes a little bit less. Right? Or you can use bioidentical.
Okay? Now that's a personal preference for each single person. I prefer bioidentical because it's the closest to my natural hormones that I can get, and I don't like pharmaceuticals, but that's just me. Okay. So if you know, and there are online menopausal platforms that I send some of my clients to that do online doctors consultations, similar to like the doctors consultations that we do in Mexico, and they will issue scripts in The United States. You know, for our clients, for my clients that are both in Mexico and in The United States and Canada, they consult with my doctor at the doctors that I refer to down here, and they have video calls with them. And, usually, I can get them in to a consultation depending on the doctor from anywhere from 50 to $75 US just for the consult. And that those consults are, like, an hour long. Like Yeah. It was in debt when I saw doctor and called them. It's not like a it's not like, you know, going into Kaiser and you got, you know, you got fifteen minutes or in Canada, you get seven and a half. Like, they're they're, like, full on. They want to know what's going going on with you. Blood work, depending on what country you're in and what your insurance is, sometimes you can get it covered, sometimes you can't.
Depending on that, usually, it'll run you, like, anywhere from a 100 to $200 US. Some like in Canada, my clients in Canada, they got, they gotta go, they gotta go to The States or down to Mexico to get their blood burned because they can't even get those tests up there. But you generally want like, you know, you want all your hormones tested. Some doctors will, like, you know, I I always call them big ones. You know, you want the three biggies. You want your s you know, your estrogen, your progesterone, and your testosterone. Those are the three bigs. Okay. Depending on what's going on with you, other doctors will request substantive tests, hormonal tests, always and always a thyroid test. Always. Yeah. Yeah. Always for sure. But, you know, that's the doctors.
That's the doctors thing, but people ask me like, how much is this gonna cost me? And I'm like, I gotta give them as a range. Right. So you got your blood work and then you've got your consultation. And then when it comes down to your monthly script, generally, a baseline is what I say is you're looking between a buck to 2 and a half bucks. Well, no, you're you're looking between a dollar US to 3 and a half dollars US per day per script. So it depends on how many hormones you're on. Okay? So I'm on three hormones, progesterone, testosterone, and estrogen combination. Okay? I have two different creams and and progesterone.
So I'm spending, like, $3.75 US a day. K. So I'm it's you know, so you're you're anywhere between, like, 100 to 175 US, like, depending on where you are.
[00:49:56] Unknown:
Yeah. And I think about, like, that's a cup of coffee. That's not even a that's not even a regular brew coffee at Starbucks for $3 a day, $3.50 a day. Hey. So, honey, I was spending not a week on wine. Yeah. Right? I know. You're like, okay. Dude, I know. And that's so all these other coping mechanisms, like, that we've used to navigate these symptoms. Right? Like, oh, I'm gonna go shopping or I'm gonna drink or I'm gonna smoke weed or I'm gonna do, you know, whatever. Most women spend more money on more most women spend more money on Botox than they spend on their hormones. I know. Right? Come on. It's like if you're you have to feel good from the inside out, I think, you know, to radiate that good feeling. So it is so important, and I'm so glad that I'm doing this with you, Margie, because it's definitely helping me. I've had a whole another great night of sleep. I'm sleeping like a giant log. I had all these turtles show up in my dream, which show up to remind me to, like, take it slow, relax. You know? I'm in this, you know, the luckiest club sobriety support group, which is amazing, and there's always, like, this weekend thing where everybody's posted, and this woman posted, like, 10 turtle a picture of 10 turtles, like, little baby mini turtles. I was like, those were in my dream last night. So it's just that reminder to go slow, and it's not like a get well or get, you know, perfect. It's like it's a long journey. It's a long journey, and, you know, like important.
[00:51:21] Unknown:
And the, you know, women really need to follow their intuition. And if your body isn't the biggest thing is women, this is why, this is why I refer to it as like a menopause strategy is because, you know, women in their forties, they're, they're fricking smart. You know, people, women, the amount of shit that women do in a daily on a daily basis is like mind blowing. Okay. So women know what they're doing, you know? And the thing about it is, and women really know their bodies. By the time you get into your forties, you really know your body. So respect it. If it's not, if there's things that are changing, don't ignore it. Don't be ashamed. Don't think you're getting old. You know, your life's coming to an end, like be proactive about it because I am living proof. If you're, if you're proactive about it and you take care of yourself in your face. Okay.
And you start making the lifestyle changes and doing hormones supplementation in your forties. You're gonna cruise through this shit, you know, all the way through to your sixties. The other thing is, is that the biggest thing, the biggest thing is when your estrogen drops, this is huge. But women decline their cognitive brain function drops by 30%. Wow. In perimenopause. Okay. It's like, this is where, like the brain fog and the memory and all that, all that comes in. Not just your cognitive brain function. There's also the osteoporosis thing. So there's all these new studies now that show if you're supplementing with estrogen, you cognitive brain function doesn't decrease.
Your chances of osteoporosis are less. You know? So it's like, I'm looking at it as like, one mom will go and spend a $100 on a multivitamin or a b complex vitamin or whatever or vitamin C or whatever the hell you're taking. I'm like, go and spend a salmon on hormones and actually do something that is a preventative, not just for heart disease, cognitive brain function, and osteoporosis, do something that actually stops you from going nuts and enhances your life and makes you a better person. You know? I'm like, why are you gonna wait until your period stops? Like, I was like,
[00:53:34] Unknown:
Jesus. Well, and and you mentioned earlier before we hit record, Margie, just about, you know, and I I I love that you brought this up, but menopause being a bigger, concern that's not addressed in the workplace globally, you know, and you were talking about how many women, you know, each year enter menopause and then how many women are in menopause who are working and how much support and care are they getting? Like, we obviously have, you know, child and family leave. Not that you need to take leave all the time on menopause, but, like, our health care providers taking my Kaiser doesn't address menopause at all. Like zero, there's nothing there. It's like And this is, and this is where, like, I, I just, I go, I am trying not to get super angry.
[00:54:18] Unknown:
Like there are one point there in just in The United States, there's one point two to one point three million women in menopause, like right now. Just starting menopause each year. Yeah, no, right now in menopause that are in perimenopause or menopause, one point two. There's sixty million, there's sixty million women in the workplace over the age of 40. Okay. All right. That we're talking like one in six, one in five women are experiencing the range of symptoms. Okay. And there's no support. There's not like, you know, if you have a bad period and or you're pregnant or you you need, like, you know, your kid is sick, you can call you can go and you can call in to work and say, I need a personal day. I need a personal day because, you know, I got a bad period or I, you know, my kid's sick or whatever. If you're having a bad menopause day, there's no calling in work saying I I'm, I'm, I'm having a bad menopause day. And, and this is part of the issue because the women, those, those one point six million women that are over the age of 40 that are in menopause right now that are in the workforce. Those are your top performing women. Those are your top sales women, your executives, your lead strategist, your high end managers that have the most amount of stress.
Okay. Those are the people that should be being taken care of. And, and, or, and, or that woman, that woman who is going through the change and has to manage her life differently should be able to go to her superiors and say, Hey, I'm going through this. I'm still on point. I'm fine, but I need more time. And if I say I need more time and I need to adjust a meeting or a schedule or a this or a that there's a reason and I don't have to justify it. And that's the difference. Women need to stand up and say, I'm still gonna do my job and I'm gonna do it really, really good, but I'm gonna do it differently. I think that's such an important
[00:56:23] Unknown:
advocacy position. You know, that's not, I've not really heard this discussion. You know? No. I don't work in corporate America anymore. I did, you know, thirty years ago, more than that. But, it would be nice so that we know that, like, yeah, I can stay with my job. I'm gonna be supported. Supported. I'm gonna have health care. I'm gonna have understanding, you know, teammates, coworkers, leads, bosses, whatever, not have it be because it is just like you said in Singapore, you know, your friend is living there. Talking about menopause is just sort of a I mean, at this there was this, down at the local theater, it was menopause the musical.
There was a musical about menopause, and I was just like, okay. You know, what's a big deal? And, of course, as, like, you know, late forties, early fifties woman, it wasn't a big deal yet for me and my brain to think about until I had those negative consequences of not paying attention. And I think just in that that is a thing, like and I noticed this, you know, in the work that I do with people. It's like most of us and myself totally included as you know, aren't willing to start making changes until you're at a bottom, you know, until you hit a rock bottom or until you've had a really negative consequence, again, whether it's health, relational, finance, whatever.
It's like we're we're stubborn creatures. You know? We want things to stay the same because our brain doesn't have to work as hard. You know? And so
[00:57:46] Unknown:
so I think just that prep period for you, Margie, like teaching these young women is so important. The, the prep period. And the other thing is, is that, you know, like when we started, we said, let's make menopause fun and have some laughs with it. Like, you know, like last year, there, the m factor, the movie came out, the documentary about menopause. And it went and it you know, like, so many millions of women watched it and I shared it with so many women and it kinda opened that door of, like, this is called the m factor. It's called the M factor. It's on PBS. And it's great. It's this amazing documentary and it goes through all the different doctors and therapists and different, you know, ethnic ethnicities.
Women react differently, you know, have different symptoms, stronger symptoms. But it was really kind of depressing. Like it really was because it was just like, and that's why I was saying there's no light at the end of the tunnel, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. And that's what I'm trying to explain to women. It's like, you don't have to go through all of this shit all at once a by yourself without a community and without the tools to help you. And it's like, and it's like, and it can be fun. And your forties and fifties can be absolutely amazing. And this is the biggest one. This is where I feel like the empowerment of, of women over the age of 45 is kind of getting lost because we all feel overwhelmed and, you know, it's like, oh, you're 45, you're in your fifties, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's like the biggest thing about being over the age of 45 or 50 is honestly, we just don't give a fuck anymore.
Mhmm. And and and and, you know, I've had my girlfriends and we talk about we laugh our asses up. I just I just don't give a fuck. And, you know, and I say that and I did a podcast, Reel about it. And it's like, it's not that I don't have empathy anymore. It's actually, I have more empathy and more love for my friends, the people around me and the people that I truly care about. Like I really, really do the differences because I don't give it. I just don't give a fuck about the drama and bullshit. And that's the absolute difference. It's like in your thirties and forties, you get sucked into the drama and the this and the that and, you know, and it's an energy suck. Right? And you kinda get round up on it. It's kind of exciting. When you're in your face, just like, nah. Oh, that person's flip flipping out. Yeah. Okay. Whatever.
Go flip out. I'm gonna sit over here with my chicas and have a margarita. Have a good time. And that's that's the thing. It's like, it's not that we don't care. We actually really do care. We actually care more. And that's but it's the standing in your core and being able to say, hey. You know what? I really, really care about you, and I really wanna help you work through whatever it is that you're going through. But I just need to top my cup up a little bit more because I need to be the best person I can be so that I can be the best person for you. And, you know, Oprah's been touting that fucking few decades, but really women don't figure it out until over the age of 45.
Yeah. And that's the biggest one. And you know, Val, like we've got some power, like power powerhouse women around us in our lives. And they're just picking ass. And they're starting new businesses. They're expanding, they're completely evolving and changing and, you know, changing their careers and doing this and their kids are out of the house and they're like, I'm going to get to the world, you know, and you see these women over the age of 50 and they're like in groups of like four or six or eight and they're in Italy. And like last year we went to Tahiti and like our poor boat captain, I thought he was gonna go crazy. There was six of us were going nuts. We were going nuts. We were having the time of our lives because for the first time in twenty five years, myself and my girlfriends, we are allowed to play.
We can play. We were little girls playing and jumping in the ocean and having fun and feeling great about ourselves. We didn't give a shit what was going on back home. We didn't give a shit what we looked like in a bikini. Like it, that is the true essence of being in your fifties. That is what menopause is about because that is what is at the end. And it doesn't have to be the end at 60. You will think like 50 or 45 or 43.
[01:02:27] Unknown:
Like Why don't we have, like, we have quinceaneras and we have bat mitzvahs, you know, for the rite of passage when young girls become, you know, women supposedly at I mean, that's a very young age, but we don't have any other rite of passage ceremonies for women in general to enter the crone years, the wisdom years, the menopause years. You know, I don't love the word crone. It always makes me think of, like, alright. We should call it the the panther princess.
[01:02:52] Unknown:
Panther panther panther
[01:02:55] Unknown:
The the empress years. Panther princessness. I like the panther I like empress. Like, I pulled a empress card one day. I was like, oh, that sounds fun. But, you know, like, this, it's not we're not celebrated for all the years of experience that we've had, and we don't celebrate ourselves because we're in this comparisonitis of, like, my boobs are saggy or I have wrinkles or I don't look the same in the bikini or blah blah. I don't have the same energy, and so we're comparing ourselves to these younger versions of ourselves or other people.
[01:03:26] Unknown:
And then we get depressed, and it's like, you're not supposed to be like that. Like, you're not supposed to be 20 forever. Like, that's ridiculous. And so No. In our society programmed, you know, to think that. Is so programmed on the, you know, the aesthetic of these women and that, you know, everyone's like, you know, you can't have any wrinkles. I mean, you can't have any belly fat. I mean, you have to have great boobs. You have to do all these things and, you know, and,
[01:03:53] Unknown:
hey, I, I, you know, been a hairstylist for twenty five years. Do whatever makes you feel best. Okay? And there's no judgement. It's not about like, oh, I'm just gonna give up and throw in the towel, but it's like not living up to the same set of standards that we had when we were younger. We're not gonna be like that.
[01:04:10] Unknown:
And you know, you can go and put Botox in your face and have a tummy tuck and do whatever you need to do and still be in your power. There's no judgment there. Yeah. Exactly. And that's the thing. And it's like, but to truly be, to truly be an amazing, to truly be yourself, the inside needs to be balanced. Okay. And you, and the, and the tools and the structures and the strategies to keep you constantly evolving and changing and constantly being on your game. That is what your forties and fifties is about. It's like, that's, that's really what it is. Like you got to take all the tools that you've learned and figure out which ones still work and check out the ones that don't. And then I give you new ones that you can throw on the arsenal and see if those ones work. Because really, you just gotta keep trying shit until you figure it out. You know?
[01:05:05] Unknown:
Well, and it's like you said, it's like what worked for you when you're 45 isn't gonna be the same thing necessarily. And even, you know, with this 11 x project that I'm working on, it's like it's about, like, how are you getting that inner harmony in these 11 areas of life? And it's a lifelong journey. It's a lifestyle. It's not like I did a weekend workshop, and, yay, look at me. I'm fixed. I mean, we lost Diane Keaton recently in the last couple days, you know, the the actress. She was a wonderful, wonderful actress.
79 years old. She had cancer, but she was also still still at 79 according to these, you know, things I read, suffering from bulimia. At 79 years old, woman who's stellar, world renowned, star, rock star, actress, genius, creative. Didn't get up here to match her heart. And so she still had a a a food disorder, an eating disorder at 79,
[01:06:06] Unknown:
you know, and I'm just like, I I was like, oh my gosh. 62, and she has a food disorder.
[01:06:11] Unknown:
It's like It's just it's so sad whether it's food or alcohol or drugs or social media or shopping. It's like, if we're not and I'm, you know, obviously, I'm I'm I'm a work in progress. I don't act like I'm some look at me. I'm finished work. Like, if we don't understand ourselves and work on that inner part, life happens and it happens and it happens and it knocks us down and we're like, oh, shit, you know, and we reach for the easiest thing to give us comfort.
[01:06:39] Unknown:
And the thing is, is, is that if you're, if you know, and this is the big one, if you are rolling into your, you know, early phase and you're still having, you know, issues or you've got crutches, you know, whatever that crutch is. Okay. And you roll in and your hormones start to change, then, it's, it's like a double triple whammy. It is. It happened to me. Yeah, because it's like, you know, it's like you get hit even harder and, you know, and I see, I see it. I see it in women. I see it in my clients and they're like, they're struggling, struggling, struggling, struggling, and it and it's just like, you know, but they're like, you know, it's like my, you know, my, my one girlfriend, she, she will not eat a carb. She will not eat a carb. She goes to CrossFit six days a week, works out like a maniac, and her diet consists of cheese, boiled eggs, maybe some greens and, turkey slices and, and her, and it shows like her body has aged so dramatically and her skin and everything.
And, you know, I can, it's like to reach into the choir. But it's like, sometimes it's like, I always say people do the best they can with the tools that they have. Yep. We do. Her, that is what works for her. And, you know, and every time I every time I revisit, I was like, so can I make you, like, an egg burrito? You can have one tortilla today, you know, or, you know, I'll just like shuck some sweet potato soup down her throat or something like something to give her body some nourishment. And, you know, my girlfriend, Shanti, who's the personal trainer and nutritionist.
She's, she's like another, like, you know, I just, I love her because she has been on her own journey as well. And she has gone through all of the ways to eat and what works and what doesn't work and how to get this amount of protein into you and what kind of recipes to use and how to exercise. Like she's another one, like, you know, she used to be like the cardio queen and ride her bike for hours and years every day. And, you know, her and I, all we do is weight train now. We just weight train. It's so much fun. Oh my God. I never, I never, never in a million. I never
[01:09:15] Unknown:
in a
[01:09:16] Unknown:
millionaires with how I thought I loved that. I love lifting heavy. And, you know, I was always paranoid. I was, you know, I'm short. I'm five foot two. I didn't, I wasn't like, oh my God, I'm going to look like a mini me football player.
[01:09:31] Unknown:
Yeah. You're like, I'm gonna bulk up. You're like, no, I don't want that. I want it lengthened, not widen.
[01:09:37] Unknown:
I'm like, I'm gonna be like mini me. And, and no, it doesn't work that way. Like, so we get together and like, La, when she was here in the spring, we were like, we, we dropped so many, we did a two hour lifting workout. It was awesome. We were crushing it. And I was just like, and she had me doing this thing with the broom and I had to like twist and it was like resistance and weights at the same time. I like fell over three times. I was like, what's going on? But like, that's where the fun comes in. It's like, you know, it's like it's like, yeah, it's different. It's all different. You know, if that had been her and I six years ago, we would have been doing a an hour and fifteen minute run-in the woods in Whistler, you know, but we're not doing that now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're we're lifting.
[01:10:30] Unknown:
And it's Lift it up. Right. Yeah. I think that's something for everybody to just be mindful and gentle with ourselves and it's be, like, be open to being like a little hacker or petri dish. Right? Like, just test stuff out, see what works, see what gets you joy. Like, for me, obviously, I I do like lifting weights, but I haven't been lifting weights much. And I'm like, maybe if I had a buddy. So I'm gonna put a little note out to my my wise women Boulder crew here and see if anybody wants to go lift some weights with me this week. I mean, I don't have to have that, but it just it'll make it it's always more fun just to do stuff. It always it always makes it more fun, and that's where, like, you know, that's where the retreats and the community comes in because when we do the retreats, it's like, you know, it's a small intimate group of women. Like it's usually like anywhere from eight to 12, but it builds up community because now those women leave the retreat and they have that
[01:11:21] Unknown:
that that social circle that that's available via text and be like, you know, hey, this is happening to me. Oh my god. You know, like, I almost set my house on fire or, you know, I lost my wallet, like, three times today. You know? Does anyone wanna have a video call and have a drink of wine? I just need I just need some support. And it's like and that is what's great about it because it's like a lot of these women can't they, like, they have friends that they can talk to about it, but everyone is so busy. You know, people got kids and jobs and husbands and, you know, women go, you know, they take these five days for their, for their retreat mainly because their husband or their sister or their kids are pushing them to do something because they know there's something not right with mom.
Yeah. And, and then they go back and they have their toolbox, but then they get wrapped up in their life again. So sometimes they just need to like tap in to that community that we established in the retreat so that they can be like, hey, you know, I'm super, super overwhelmed again. Like, is this happening to you guys as well? And any, like, kinda like tidbits of what to do? And it's like, yeah, shut it down. Like, shut it down, change up your calendar and start pushing things further back and like limiting the amount of things that you can do per day and be realistic. Like that's one of the big things we talk about in the retreat is, like, realistic time management.
[01:12:50] Unknown:
Yeah. And I think that's something for a lot of us to take note of because we we always are like, well, of course I can fit these 20 things in today. And I'm like, actually, I can only do three of them without crashing and losing my shit. But but we get excited and we think we have this energy. And so it's just that being patient and loving and kind to ourselves and Being patient. Yeah.
[01:13:13] Unknown:
I always say, I always say, you know, like if, if your, you know, if your kid came to you and, you know, said, Hey, mom, I'm really sorry. You know, I really wanted, you know, I know I had the, all these chores to do this afternoon, but I really couldn't get to them because I had to finish this essay. You would be like completely understanding about that. You would be like, okay. Give them a hug. I'll be understanding it. Yeah. I'll go for you. Pat on the head, you know? But if mom comes in and says, Hey, you know, I can't deal with any of you guys right now, and I definitely can't make dinner, and I can't do the laundry because I need to go upstairs and have a bath and take care of myself. Everyone would be like, what the hell just happened? Where'd you go? Like, oh my god.
[01:13:54] Unknown:
Yeah. The expectations, especially of of, you know, anybody who's a caregiver, whether you're caregiving an elderly person or a kid or a partner, like, we just expect that this caregiver is gonna stay at this, you know, fifth, sixth gear operating level all the time. And it's like Yeah. No. And especially as we get older, like, our our fuel requirements, our energy requirements do change. You know? And I think that's an important thing to again, just like we talked about. And I think, you know and I know with you and I working together, you're like, Val, you need to prep food. You need to eat more. Please eat. Eat some food. And I'm like, I will. Maybe. Yeah. Like, literally, yesterday, Margie, I spent the whole day down here in my office doing, like, creative work and, you know, redoing branding, colors, all this stuff. And it was 07:00 in the evening, and I realized I was it was, like, maybe 06:45, and I'm like, oh, I've gotta take the dog for a walk. I've been down here for twelve hours. You know, I took a pee break, and I haven't eaten anything. Like, I've I was in such a flow state, and I was just like, I don't wanna break the flow state just to go stuff my face, and I'm not even hungry, you know, but I forced myself to stop and go eat a little bit. But then I worked for a couple more hours, so it was one of those, like, okay. I had energy. I'm taking it. The tank was full because there's gonna be those days where I'm like, I can't even sit here at this desk. Imagine the amount of creativity you would have had
[01:15:15] Unknown:
if you had had a couple of Powerballs in your desk drawer. Who knows?
[01:15:20] Unknown:
You know, like, so I'll get, I gotta, I'll start making some Powerballs. That sounds fun. I like, they sound delicious. Are they those, like, peanut butter power protein things? I'm all I'm I'm I'm like, clients and I are all about the balls right now. So Get some give me some some chocolate salty balls. We're we're making Powerball.
[01:15:38] Unknown:
We're making meatballs. We're making turkey Powerball. I was like, how many balls can you have in your freezer? Because you need different balls at different times of the day. Yeah. Alright. Cool. I like that idea. You should you should do, like, a little live, a ball making, you know Ball making. Zoom. Let's make some balls together. Like, we'll have a Zoom call and make balls. The balls right now. Like, how many different types of protein balls can you have in your freezer? And we've got oats and chocolate chips and this and protein butter, and we've got turkey balls and, you know, spaghetti meatball balls. It's just like, I'm like, so everything, everything can be fun and that's something fun. I can't think of it. Well, or you can laugh about it.
I know, dude.
[01:16:21] Unknown:
Yeah. Take, don't take it so seriously, but like, I think asking for help from people like you, you know, who who are in this journey, and that's, like, what you do twenty four seven is helping women through this. And, obviously, you know, men too and the partners, if if there's partners to be involved. I guess it's just, you know, we a lot of us women, we don't wanna ask for help. We think we can do it all alone, and I've got this. I'm the, you know, I'm the badass until we're not, and then we fall apart and cry. Help. I need help. Instead of, like Yeah. It's so late. Proactive. And, again, speaking from experience and having you help me get off the floor and not cry.
[01:16:59] Unknown:
Thank you. Cry. Well, and it's like, and that's the thing women wait, we wait way too long. Don't wait until you have 20 extra pounds of belly fat. Don't don't wait until you are being mean to your kids or your husband or your girlfriends. Don't wait until you're drinking a bottle of wine every night because you're trying to go to sleep. Like, don't wait that long. Yeah. Like, and because there's no reason to, you know, and that that's the thing that the, the availability is there, the overwhelm. Yes. There's a lot of information on Instagram. There is so much information. Some of it works, some of it doesn't, and this is the biggest thing. Everything is unique to each individual woman.
Yeah. And that's where you've got to strategize what is gonna work for you.
[01:17:57] Unknown:
Well, and I think to getting out of our ego's way and thinking, like and I know for me, again, just speaking from my little humble example of, like, this is just a phase. This is just a funk. I'm gonna get out of it by myself. I don't need any help. Just I'm gonna be in my little my little hole here.
[01:18:14] Unknown:
It's gonna Or it's just it's just the furthest in your fucking life. Or it's it's the Mercury retrograde or it's just where you are in your in your life chart. I've had lots of women say that too. And I believe in all that shit. I know when the planets are like going crazy, but it's like, it doesn't anything that you can anything that's natural that is or as close to natural as possible, that's not, you know, that doesn't have a lot of chemicals or chromoscopes or pesticides or whatever in it. You know, anything that's as natural as close to natural that you can put in your body to balance your body back to an optimal state, why would you not do?
[01:18:57] Unknown:
Yeah. I think it's And that
[01:18:59] Unknown:
And that's where scared of hormone replacement right away. Like you said, like, check the other four pillars out and get those suckers under control. Check check those nutrition or or the urge response and the movement. Yeah. And and all of those things. And there are great natural supplements that will help with certain symptoms for, absolutely for her. And some women symptoms are much less and some women's symptoms are crazy out of control. Yeah. You know, I know women that are losing teeth, you know, and, and girlfriends that had frozen shoulder at 41. And, you know, like there are, you know, like big ones and, you know, and there's like all the, and we haven't even really touched on the depression and the anxiety like that. Those are like up there on the twelve, ten.
[01:19:54] Unknown:
Yeah. That's so huge. And I know for me, nine years ago, it was ten years ago when it really started, I moved, I was massively depressed. A whole bunch of things, you know, the move, the hormones, the you know, life in general, stuff going on with family, my ex, and it was just like, I have serious, like, serious depression. And when it finally got to the point where it was like, I had to go to the fucking hospital and they did all my hormones, they're like, your hormones are totally completely whacked. Your thyroid's off. You're not sleeping. Obviously, drinking was not helping, but it was this whole thing. And I had I'm just like, I'm only 46. How could this be happening? I'm so young, you know, not even knowing that this was an issue. And I almost died. I mean, I was, like, this close to dying, and it was one of those, like, my kids would have lost their mom because I didn't even know that I should be paying attention to my all of my hormones and everything at that time. I just thought, okay. Yeah. It was like doing life.
[01:20:50] Unknown:
It was like me bleeding to death at at 45 and, you know, thinking I had Alzheimer's. It's like Yeah. It's like, you know, there at that time, you know, I was, there was no one ten years ago that I could find to even have a conversation with about menopause, including my GP, who I'd been with for twenty years. Her solution was go back on the pill. I was just like, oh my God, are you fucking kidding me? Like, it was just, so I hope I like, I look at women that I know now that like are 38, 39, 40, 41. You know, I got like three surf girlfriends that are like all in that age bracket. And I was just like, dudes, like she goes, when it starts to change, that's the first thing you need to do.
And it doesn't matter. This is the thing. When you find a really good hormone doctor who has actually really studied, and this is the thing, all the docs admit like, and know in The US that they maybe got two two hours of training on medicals in their entire curriculum. Wow. Okay. Maybe. Maybe. So even your gyno, they're lucky they got two hours. So you're gonna really do the dig and find the docs that have done extra clinics, workshops, understand bioidentical hormones, understand what's going on. And then you gotta make sure that you resonate with that person. That's that's the biggest one because it's it's all gonna change. The biggest one is, is that your labs, they may be normal, but if you're with a really good doc, the doc will look at the labs, but then look at your symptoms and be like, this may be normal on the lab.
But, or that, that lab lab criteria, that scale may not be the perfect criteria scale for you.
[01:22:46] Unknown:
And that's something I think that people don't get. And even too with, like, thyroid stuff when I I didn't even know I had a thyroid until after I had kids because I was always tired, and I was like, oh, that's just part of having kids and started taking all my tests. And they're like, no. You need to you have Hashimoto's. You need to go on thyroid replacement blah blah, you know, hormone replacement for that. And I was like, okay. But there's still just, like, there's different ranges for each individual. Right? And so, like wrong. You know, we need to know that. So what about, like, what just so we'll before we wrap up, just are there any books that you recommend for women to start reading or listening to, to get their heads around this so that, you know, they can kind of have a a broader understanding of what is happening with their bodies.
[01:23:30] Unknown:
Yeah. You know, I always go back. I like old school. Right? So there's been a lot of books that have come out right now that are, you know, you know, Tamzin wrote one and Doctor. Mary Claire Hamer has written one. Those were both, those are both excellent, excellent tools. But to be honest, like if you really wanna understand your body, go back to Sex, Lies and Menopause. Sex, lies and menopause. Okay. Sex, lies and menopause by T. C. Wiley because the first section is all about it's it's about sex, but it's about the body's ability of producing hormones from the time you're in puberty all the way through your, you know, your fertile years and children, children years and into your forties. And then there's a component about the lies. She talks about what happened in the sixties when they came out with the birth control pill and how it only got tested for one year on a thousand women. And then it went into like mass production.
And then, you know, ten years later in the late seventies, early eighties, they did a case study and they about, you know, women's ability and their sense of smell. Right. And how, you know, our partners smell a certain way. Right. And, you know, and that's a hormone thing. So that's why your brother smells gross, but your boyfriend smells gray. And they took like two groups of women and they, they had like fermented shirts of the, of the DNA of, you know, their siblings and one, and then, you know, opposite, opposite genetics. Right? So the women that were on the pill, like seventy five percent of them picked a mix of genetics that were similar to themselves and opposite. The women that were not on the pill, ninety five percent of them picked shirts of men of the opposite genetics.
So then they correlated this to the dramatic increase in divorce rate and separation in the early eighties from these women that had been on the birth control. So it goes through all of it. You know, all of the things that women have been told to put on our bodies because it makes our periods more convenient, or it makes life more convenient, or it makes us not as depressed, or it doesn't make us as anxious and all of these things. And then the third section is about menopause and what actually is occurring. And it, like, when I say there's books that I've read in my life that have changed my life, that would be one of the top five.
Alright. Sex, Lies, and Menopause, everybody. Make sure you get that and you can listen to it on Audible too. You can listen to it and check out The M Factor. The M Factor is a really great, easy movie. It's only an hour,
[01:26:11] Unknown:
to give you a basic understanding of what what's going on. Awesome. And so where can people find you and what's coming up for you? Do you have any things happening that you wanna share with people? Are you doing any retreats? Are you doing any workshops or what?
[01:26:26] Unknown:
We're gonna do a re our next retreat is gonna be in January, the January. Cool. Okay. It's gonna be down in Sayulita. K. It's called the Fire Tribe Fire Tribe, the ignite the ignite retreat. Nice. So that's a big one. Yeah. I love it. I'm stoked for that one. And then anyone can reach me generally through my Instagram. You know, Marjimarcini on Instagram is the easiest for people to remember.
[01:26:50] Unknown:
Okay.
[01:26:51] Unknown:
I've got lots of different reels on there and tips and tidbits on, you know, how to survive the craziness, you know, with the Martini or bust one exam and laugh and laugh more importantly about just being, like, truthful and honest. And then, you know, from there, there's more information at the 88degrees.me website. But, you know, realistically for menopause, it's just easier for people to go onto Instagram and all of it's on there. Instagram. And can they get like an appointment with you and do a consult? Yeah. Yeah. Just DM me and they can, you know, I'll respond and then we can book a video call. And those are usually the easiest. The first video call is always complimentary. Because I, you know, I just have to be like transparent with people and be like, you know, either we're gonna, you know, either we're gonna resonate and then we're gonna work together and it's gonna work for you or it's so it's like, you know, that after talking to someone for an hour. I, you know, I can tell whether or not I'm the right fit. And if I'm not, generally, I'll have someone who's a better fit.
[01:27:50] Unknown:
Awesome. Okay. So this is awesome. What would you say to somebody right now who's listening and who's on the fence, who's, you know, just listened to this whole episode? And obviously, we said, yeah. I get it. Be proactive. La la la. But they're still having that, like, not me, not me, not me yet. And maybe they're in their mid forties hitting up to 50. Like, what would you say to them to just put their minds at ease that it's a good decision to start paying attention to this now?
[01:28:16] Unknown:
What I would say to them is you don't have to change everything at once. And that the most important thing is to listen to your body and respect it when it starts telling you that something's not right. And it can be in any area of your life, whether it's emotional, spiritual, mental, or physical. So trust yourself, like, listen, listen to what your body is telling you and respect it and, and try and honor what it's trying to tell you and get some support before it starts screaming at you. First question is the biggest one, you know?
[01:28:58] Unknown:
Yeah. Listen to what Margie says, everybody. Cause I didn't listen and
[01:29:02] Unknown:
I thought I had everything. Because the more you ignore the symptoms and the things that aren't flowing right in your life, then the harder it is, the change is harder when you finally get to that.
[01:29:17] Unknown:
I think it's it's that it's that analogy of, you know, maintenance is cheaper than repair.
[01:29:22] Unknown:
Mhmm.
[01:29:23] Unknown:
You know? And I think about, you know, the check engine light comes on and you ignore it, and then all of a sudden all this stuff happens. It's like, as soon as you get like you said, listen to your body, listen to that check engine light. And when you feel it or think you're feeling it, like, don't wait until you're broken down on the side of the road. You know, that's not the time to get it done. And the biggest thing is, is that,
[01:29:45] Unknown:
you know, don't let anyone disvalue what you think, what you know is going on with your body. That's the other big one. If you go to a doctor and you're telling a doctor that you're having issues and you're having problems and the doctor doesn't address it, then find a different doctor.
[01:30:01] Unknown:
Yeah. Yeah. And it can take a few, right? Like it's not a big bite. It's
[01:30:07] Unknown:
going to take a few. You know, it took me a long time, long time before I actually walked into a doctor's office and sat down and talked to a doctor who actually got me and it cost a lot of money and better. It's better now. It's definitely not gonna cost you $6,000 like it did me ten years ago. Yeah. That's good. But I would, I would, I would have paid anything ten years ago to feel better. And I did, and it worked. So like when you, when you put it down, your health is worth everything, Because if you don't have your health, you have nothing, you have nothing.
So, and people generally don't realize that until they almost die. And then you're like, oh, well maybe I should pay more attention now. So it's like, listen to the little voice inside of you and, and don't let that little girl have to start screaming.
[01:31:05] Unknown:
Totally. Yay. Great, great words of wisdom from Margie Martini, the menopause strategist to the stars. I think everybody's a star. So,
[01:31:16] Unknown:
thanks for that Margie so much. Thanks for having me on now. I'm glad that we were able to, like, have these conversations and hopefully spread the love and light to the other ladies out there that need a little bit more support, you know, so that we can all kick ass in our fifties and sixties and seventies.
[01:31:35] Unknown:
Yeah, exactly. It's it's unlike and we'll have our own little rites of passage. It sounds like you're doing this with the fire tribe and the the ignite retreat. You know? That's your your ceremonial right of passage. I love it. This is awesome. Everything's gonna be in the show notes, everybody, and make sure you guys go follow Margie Martini on Instagram. If you guys need to make, you know, a call with her, I highly recommend it. Margie's amazing. She's helped me transform myself, and I'm so grateful for you, Margie, for everything you've done for me and for what you're doing for all the other ladies out there. So blessings to you. Blessings to you, ma'am. For tuning in and being on the show. Love you, and peace, love, and aloha, everybody.
[01:32:12] Unknown:
Thank you. Adios. Thanks, Marty.
I know it must sound a little crazy using menopause and fun in the same title. However, this interview with my guest, Margie Martini, who is a menopause strategist, knows how to help you ladies out there, and, hopefully, your partners help make menopause a little bit more fun, more bearable. But it's a very serious thing that's happening to millions of women every single day, and it's not talked about. It's not looked at, and it's basically shoved under the rug. And a lot of times, it's misdiagnosed, and it's just prescribed with certain types of pills that you gotta you're stuck on for life. So, unfortunately, menopause is something that happens to every single woman if we reach this age, And we don't know what to look for. We don't know how to take care of ourselves. We don't know how to be, preemptive in this journey. And this is such an important topic that if you have a loved one or you are the one who is experiencing this, please listen. Once again, this is not medical advice, it's not financial advice, and it's not legal advice. However, it's really, really great conversation with somebody who's in the trenches every single day. So please enjoy, and, I'll talk to y'all soon. Aloha.
So stoked to have you here, Margie. Let's talk about the five pillars of menopause, how you got into helping women, and let's let's hear from you, my sister. Thank you for being here.
[00:01:50] Unknown:
Thanks, Val. Thanks for having me on the show. I really appreciate it. Yeah. It's a big topic. You know, it's the hot, you know, trending conversation on social media right now is menopause. What to do, what not to do, all the things to take, what not to take, how to live, what to do, how to breathe, how to have sex, all those things. But it's like and once you start scrolling and your algorithm picks that up, that's all you get. That's all you get, all you get on your feed. But it's a process and it I think the biggest thing for women to understand is that it's actually like a ten to fifteen year process. And through the course of that, it's completely a transformative time in your life. And it can start anywhere from 39 or earlier and go all the way through until you're 60.
So people have this concept that, you know, you you stop having your period and then, like, all the symptoms end and that just doesn't happen. It's kinda like the symptoms keep going and they keep evolving. So my thing is I'm just trying to help women navigate that change and to understand that every woman is different and what works for one woman doesn't necessarily work for another woman. And what worked for you at 42 probably isn't going to work for you at 48. It's definitely not going to work at 54. So there's like, I call it the toolbox and it's like all the things you put in the toolbox, you got to keep like sharpening them and changing them up and modifying them so that you've got this arsenal basically of survival tools and tips and tidbits to help you get through all the different phases that you're going to go through and, you know, and to be like a person at the, well, I'm not at the end of the tunnel yet at fifty five, but I'm getting there.
I can honestly say like, you know, there is light at the end of the tunnel and you can completely and totally rock this period of your life. If you have the right tools and you prioritize your self care as first and foremost.
[00:03:59] Unknown:
Yeah. I think it's something that, you know, myself included, and I know we talked about this at the beginning of this year, about, like, hormone replacement therapy and menopause. I'm like, oh, I'm doing great. It's it's great. I'm fine. I'm fine. And then it was just, like, obviously, I have a series of my life just hit me, and I wasn't sleeping. All sorts of stuff happened, and it was just like, hey, Marge. How's it going? I need some help, dude. Identifying it as, like, a fifteen year process, I can totally relate to that. Because back in, like, 2015, 2016, when I was in perimenopause, it was just like, what the heck is going on? You know? I was just in my forties, and I was just grumpy and wasn't sleeping. All this stuff and stress and foggy brain and forgetting everything, and I'm just like, is this menopause? And, you know, I still have my period and everything, but it's a really, it's not I don't know. It's just like you think like you said, you're gonna stop having your period and life goes on and whoop de doo. And I'm like, no. This this is tough. And I know a lot of women go through, like you said, all these different symptoms, and each person's body is different and how we solve for the you know, our symptoms is gonna be a little bit different. How did you how did this become your life passion and, like, your life's work? How did you start doing this?
[00:05:19] Unknown:
Well, I think there was a couple things that happened. You know, like I'm 55 now. So when I, when I look back on it really, I got my first misdiagnosis for perimenopause when that was when I was 39. And I went through my forties, and my forties were, like, to be honest, like, living fucking hell. My periods were super heavy. They were, like, twice a month. I would go through a super plus tampon and a pad and period panties every forty five minutes. And it progressively got worse. And ironically, when I think back on it, one of my first symptoms that I complained to my GP about was I had gotten asthma, like, out of the blue at 39.
And I've been a long distance runner my whole life. And she just kinda blew it off and just said, you know, it's, you know, it's because you grew up in a smoking household. And I was like, what? And, you know, there were all these like, things that happen and it wasn't really until I was 44 and I was actually really starting to like have a nervous breakdown and freak out because I thought I was developing early onset Alzheimer's when my father had died of Alzheimer's. And, I was to be honest, like freaking out. I was forgetting things. I was couldn't remember people's names, places. I'm a super hyper organized person. So it was terrifying to me.
My roommate and my boyfriend, like I almost burnt down my house twice by leaving the stove on, like it was constant and I had constant like memory loss, brain fog and massively huge fatigue. Like I'd, I would go for a run and I'd feel great for twenty minutes and walk home and I couldn't make it up the stairs. And so I had I was on I tried every I tried it, and I was always been a health nut. I've always tried every supplement, natural herb, you name it. My supplement drawer was, like, three drawers deep. So I was drying everything. And I met this really cool woman and I did her hair and, you know, she was in her sixties at the time. And she told me about bioidentical hormone replacement. And she told me to read this book by TC Wiley called sex, lies, and menopause.
[00:07:43] Unknown:
And Sex, lies, and menopause?
[00:07:46] Unknown:
Sex, lies, and menopause. And Okay. So I read it and literally it transformed my life. Like this is a book that every woman should read at the age of 16, because it explains to you your cycle and how you're supposed to have children and how the foods that you eat affect your cycle. And when our estrogen is the highest and how it decreases and you know, how our bodies aren't really, haven't really evolved to the point to live past 50 in theory, you know, and how our environment has affected that. So I read this book and all these bells went off and I started doing some research, and that's how it started because, like, I read the book in, like I was 44, so I read it in, like, you know, 2014.
And I went searching for a doctor, a practitioner who could do something called the Wiley protocol, which was bioidentical hormone replacement in a rhythm method. That's what she developed. Now she developed this in, like and published the book in 2003. Okay. So this is like, I read it, like, ten, eleven years after it had been written. So I did some digging and it turns out that, like, she actually collaborated with Suzanne Somers, and Suzanne Somers wrote a book in 2006 called the ageless, which most women know about. It's kinda like the first antiaging menopause bioidentical hormone book.
And then you go back and you take a look at the Women's Health Initiative and the report that was released in 2002 and how they told everyone that, you know, HRT was gonna cause cancer and all these women got ripped off their HRT. So you take a look at that and you I I started to ask a lot of questions. In 2000, thirty eight percent, estimate, thirty eight percent of, you know, the women in The US were on HRT. Okay. That's generally pharmaceutical HRT, but, you know, and these are women 40. So you got thirty eight percent of the population of women 40 in 2000 that are on HRT. By 2002, 2003, all those women have been taken off of their supplements. And now thirty eight percent of the population is crazy.
Okay. Alright. Yeah. And then guess what guess what everyone went on? They went on SSRIs. They went on NSRIs. SSRIs. Here you go. I'm depressed. Yeah. Right. That that's, like, that's for sure. If my estrogen was on the toilet and I was 50 and I was on a hormone replacement and I was taking estrogen, and then you've ripped me off of it because you say I'm gonna get breast cancer, I'd be fucking depressed too. Like, I'm totally depressed.
[00:10:42] Unknown:
But but you are like, we're going we go through those mood swings and when we're not sleeping and when we're growing all this stuff, and I remember having a hair client. I remember having a hair client. I I got a couple Alzheimer's tests back when I was in my early you know, mid late forties, early fifties because I was like, what the heck is wrong with me? You know? And same thing. I could I was bleeding all the time. I ended up having to finally get an IUD with progesterone because I was bleeding so much, you know? And I was like, this is not okay. Like, something's wrong with me. It was crazy. Like, I remember Yeah. Having hair clients in my chair in, like, 2003
[00:11:17] Unknown:
that had come off their hormone replacement. And, you know, this one woman went from, like, hair like yours, Val, like, long and blonde down to, you know, her waist. She decided to cut it off and dye it red. I made her do it like over four weeks. So we finally did it. And she walks out of the salon and three days later, she comes in and starts screaming at me and all the staff because we've ruined her life. And I was just like, what is going on with this woman? Like, I didn't know, no one knew that it was menopause and it was coming off your HRT.
So, so when I was 44, I read this book. It took me a year to find a doctor in Vancouver that did the Riley protocol. And when I did actually find a practitioner, she had a nine month wait list and just to make an appointment was a $600 deposit. Holy shit. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. K. This is in 2014. Wow. So I kept digging. And finally I found it was actually a Canadian doctor, but she had been living in Hong Kong and she practiced at a Whistler. And I spent over, that time, like over $6,000 for private consultations with her lab tests and hormonal support. Wow. And she had to send all my lab work to Hong Kong because in Canada, she could you couldn't even run those tests at that time. You probably can't even run them now.
She was she at that time did like a full functional blood analysis on me. Like, this is like eleven years ago. So she was looking at my vitamins, my minerals, my supplements, hormone levels, all of it. So it came back and I was completely deficient in testosterone at 44. I was deficient in B12. I was low in progesterone, like all of, all of these things at 44. So she put me on bioidenticals from a compounding pharmacy. At that time, I was spending about $350 a month. Within four weeks, my memory was back four weeks. Wow. My energy level was back. Like, I remember saying to her, like, I went I remember I'll never forget this day. I went into the grocery store and I couldn't find my list of the things I needed to buy.
And I was like and I was like, okay, maybe I can remember. So I walked around the store and I put all these things in my bag, in my basket. I get to the checkout and I go to pay and my list falls out of my wallet. And I look at the list and I look at my basket and I had remembered all 12 items. And I started, and I started, I started to cry. And I said to my doc at the time, I told her the story. I was like, so I couldn't fucking remember where I put the fucking list, but I was able to remember everything was on it. So I'm taking it as a win, you know, and she's killing herself, but it worked.
It still didn't help with all the other things. Like it, it helped with the brain fog and all of this, but I still, I still had all my period problems. I had uterus problems. I had all these other problems that I truly believed were caused because my hormones were so imbalanced for so many years. Yeah. So when I hit 49, I ended up in the hospital in Mexico, in Puerto Vallarta. And I was about twelve hours away from going septic because I had to have an emergency hysterectomy because I was bleeding. I was bleeding out. And this is after being two, one, two, three, four doctors, two in Canada and two in Mexico. And then finally ended up the fourth one was the gynecologist who saved my life. And it was at that point where I was like, this has to change.
Now, luckily, luckily at that time, I was now working with a great hormone doctor in Mexico, and I was already on hormone support at this time. So they took my uterus out. Really, I should have gone through menopause at that point, but because we adjusted my hormones and we started adding in estrogen at this point, and we adjusted everything because I had had a hysterectomy, I I rolled through. Like I rolled through it. I didn't get hot flashes. I didn't get night sweats. I didn't get any of those things. And I actually just started to get better and better. But that was the point when I really had to start adjusting my lifestyle because the hormones were helping, but I was still noticing things like I was gaining, you know, belly fit and visceral fat and my normal exercise programs weren't working and what I was eating properly wasn't working. And my stress level wasn't working. So I just started reading and studying and really looking at what I was putting in my body. And it's all about what kind, you know, if you put shit in, you're going to get shit out.
And that's the bottom line. And, you know, but women were, we're stubborn. We are so stubborn. We, and I, and I get it. Like, you know, by the time you get to 45 or 50, you're like, I don't want, I don't want, I don't want my body needs. I know, I know what my body needs. I know how to lose weight. Like I talk to women all the time and they're like, I'm gaining weight. And I, and they're like, I'm just gonna stop eating carbs. I was like, oh, okay. Try that and see how that works for you. Or they're like, you know, I'm just gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna start exercising more. And then like three months later, they're like, I'm gaining two pounds. I'm gaining two pounds a month. And I'm like, yeah. Cause what worked in our thirties and forties doesn't work now.
It, it just doesn't like, and that's the thing, like what worked for me at 48 doesn't work now at 54. Like, this is the first time in my life where I'm not running. I've run my whole life. I'm not running now. I'm not, you know, I'm doing hit. I'm doing hit classes twice a week, but I'm doing them at 50% of what I used to do six years ago because I don't want it to stress my body that much. It's super, it's super. Yeah. It's like, but the thing about it is when you find the tools, when you have the tools in your arsenal that you know, that work for you in this moment, like right now, then the symptoms and your quality of life, your symptoms dissipate and your quality of life escalates.
Let's talk about the five pillars. Yeah, the five pillars. Well, no one here, the audience wants to know. The five pillars. This is just something my girlfriend and I came up with. You know, she's a personal trainer and nutritionist, and she's 52 and her and I have had countless, endless conversations about crazy shit. We came up with five things. It's basically, it comes down to your hormones, your hormones, your nutrition, your exercise, your sleep patterns. That's a big one, and your stress level. And then we have, like, the bonus pillar in there, which is your community. Being able to talk to people that actually don't think you're crazy. It's always a good one. You know? And we just have kind of broken it down that way. So when we when talk to our girlfriends or I talk to my clients, I'm like, okay, these are the five pillars.
Why only tell me what's pissing you off the most? So let's just start there because you can't change everything at once because that just takes that takes you out before you start. And by the time I get to women there, and that's, this is the big one. Like I love that there's so much menopause awareness now. I love it. Love it. Love it. I am in support of all these women that are out there speaking for it. And, but now it's, it's just taken everyone into a state of overwhelm. Like even you value or overwhelmed when you talk to me about it, you're like, I don't I don't even know what, I don't know. Am I taking creatine? Am I not taking it? Am I fasting? Am I on keto? Like, you were just like, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.
[00:19:40] Unknown:
Yeah. And I think the sleep part too, Margie, like I told you recently because I got, you know, I got the IUD out and I started doing the the bioidentical from you. And and I've been sleeping, like, I mean, like, eight hours straight every single night. And I'm like, this is great. You know? I'm taking magnesium and the the progesterone and, you know, d a k e at night together, and I'm like, thank you, god. I I woke up, and it's the morning. You were 03:00 wake up where I sit there for two hours and stress out about how I'm not sleeping, and then I feel like shit in the morning. It's been just that alone has improved my mood. I'm sure it's improved my memory. You know? And I'm just, like, so grateful that, you know, I have you to help me with this, and I've had you to get rid of the hormones and talking about all this stuff. You know? And I know that I'm stubborn too because I'm, you know, I'm set in my ways a lot. So it's like, if you give me too many things to try to change at once, it's like, okay. Never mind. I'm not gonna do any of them. So just like you said, focusing on one thing at a time, I feel like I'm able to digest that a little bit more in my transformation journey into acceptance
[00:20:46] Unknown:
of my loved ones. You know, like, and to be honest, it's like, you know, when I talk to women, like when I talk to you, it's like, okay, what do you wanna work on? Let's just work on one thing. That's one thing. K. Yeah. So in your case, we worked on your sleep. We built you a sleep ritual and you had a lot of really great sleep patrol habits to begin with anyway. Right? Oh, and you know, you, you get a woman into that and it gives them like two weeks and you start to see a little bit of change. And it's like, okay. When you start to feel better, because you're sleeping, then you're able to take on a little bit more. So and then it's like, okay. Then let's have a conversation about your diet. Okay. Well, that's a yeah. That's usually a big one. So women have to be really motivated to change up their diet. So sometimes I just skip over that one and we'll just go, okay. Let's get you moving more and let's talk about your movement and adjusting your movement.
Okay. And, you know, because it's, you know or the biggest one I actually I go with is and I did this with you. I'm like, can you eat more food, please? Remember that? Can you, can you, can you eat more food? Just a little bit more. I think maybe like three or four times a day. I'm not hungry. I don't wanna eat more. I'm not hungry. I'm like, no. Weight. That's the thing. I've gained all this weight, and I'm like, I'm not eating as much as I used to. What's wrong here? So and I know I haven't been moving as much this year, but yeah. Starving. It's it's So yeah. Like, that's that's the biggest one. Like, is like, I've I've been working with this great client. She's she's so awesome. But, you know, she's she's she's in it. You know? She's, you know, she's late forties. She's a single mom. She's got, like, an eight year old. She's an entrepreneur, you know?
And she's running. Like, I'm telling you, running, running, running from the moment she wakes up until the moment she goes to bed. She's got staff and responsibilities and a kid and she's all on her own and all of these types of things. And, you know, her biggest, she wasn't sleeping. And she, you know, she had, she was on hormones, which is great. She was on them and she had seen some improvement, some, but not a ton, like a little bit, like I would say maybe 50%. Okay. But she still had big brain fog. She had she wasn't she she had brain fog. She had this 03:00 in the afternoon crash. She had waking up at 04:00 in the morning and coming back to sleep. So the biggest one we tackled first was her sleep ritual. And and basically it was getting her to shut down two hours before she was going into bed and to turn off her electronics and walk and have a shower or a bath and listen to a great song or meditation or this or this or this. And so we handpicked these key things that worked for her and she put them into her sleep ritual.
And within two weeks, she was sleeping through the night and she was getting seven to eight hours. What was super interesting is we're like at twelve weeks now is a couple of weeks ago. She kind of fell off the wagon a little bit. And it was actually her daughter who said to her, mommy, we need to do our sleep ritual this week because you're not sleeping as well. I love kids. I love kids when they say things like this.
[00:24:09] Unknown:
Hey, everybody. We had a minor technical difficulty, but we're gonna pick up this conversation again. Thanks, Margie. So, you know, the what you were saying was the daughter was recognizing that, hey, we need to do this sleep ritual, mom. And isn't it so important? And I know a lot of times we think we're all alone, and we have to do our health and wellness and sobriety and menopause and working out and money all alone. But when you have people that love you, whether it's your kids or your partner or your friends or an accountability buddy, it makes the journey less lonely, and you feel loved and supported because it does feel like you're kind of an alien sometimes when you're going through certain things like this. And menopause, it's new for all of us women who enter it. We hadn't done it before. I mean, we've had our periods, but we haven't had this whole menopause, thing go on. And we'll talk about menorrhage in a little bit, but I wanna keep going about you know so now that this client has been able to sleep and is feeling a little bit better because her sleep's going on, how what else are you helping with the five pillars for her?
[00:25:11] Unknown:
So, you know, it goes step by step. So when she's finally started to sleep and feel better, she had more energy. Her brain fog dropped a little bit, but she was still like, she would, every time I talked to her, like every week, she was like, I'm still like, I'm not a 100%. She didn't have enough. She didn't have enough energy. So we got into the nutrition pillar, and this was really this is a big one for a lot of women because women generally don't eat or they don't wanna eat. They're terrified of gaining weight. They're already gaining weight, so they're freaking out. So in her case, she wasn't eating enough. You know, she had had stomach surgery several years ago, so she technically should have been eating, like, four to six times a day, but really small amounts, but she just wasn't eating at all. So, and, you know, she has a young daughter and, you know, cooking and prepping and all this type of stuff. So we got her on a food prep program and she did get, you know, her cleaning lady to help her with her food prep twice a week and organizing her groceries and those types of things. And it was instantaneous, like instantaneous within like four days of her eating consistently every couple hours and increasing her protein intake.
And as soon as she started doing that, her brain fog was like almost gone. That was it. Wow. And the next week she came in and she's like, yeah, I'm using my protein powder and my coffee. I'm eating my protein Powerballs. She was having an, you know, a good amount of protein and veg and everything for lunch. And, you know, they were, they had changed up. They were having dinner earlier so that they could start their sleep ritual. And she always had food available in the fridge. So it was like, whether it was like chalk veggies or, you know, pieces of chicken or whatever, there was always something available to her. And as soon as that kicked in and she realized that the two things together, like sleeping and eating all of a sudden within three weeks, she was back working out.
[00:27:19] Unknown:
Nice.
[00:27:20] Unknown:
She was starting to drop weight and her brain fog was there, but this was the biggest, this was the biggest tool. This was the biggest tool and that would end her arsenal really was her ability to handle her stress management and her cortisol, because she has been, you know, she's in her forties. She's been a woman that has run on cortisol her whole life. Like, go, go, go, go, go fight or flight. I gotta do this. I gotta take care of this person. I gotta take care of this person. I gotta take care of my kid and my staff and this, my dad, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and Okay. And we went through it. So one of the things that calms her down the best is water. So we went through what she could do with water to help calm her down. So if she couldn't float in the pool, if she couldn't have a shower, she would go into the bathroom and run water on her wrist. Like as soon as she started to feel like that, that panicking or, you know, the other one was music. So we went through some different playlists, some different meditation playlists, and I got her into something called soul phlego frequencies.
So when she was experienced, when she was starting to experience the overwhelm and her brain started to race, she would put her headphones in, put her phone on airplane mode and start listening to whatever playlist or her frequencies or whatever it was. So what was it happening is instead of these extreme spikes and lows, it was more of a little bit of a roll. And as, and we, we tracked it over a four week period that the role, the difference between the high and low increased as soon as she slacked off on her nutrition or her sleeper tool. And this is where it's like, all the pillars are interconnected.
Right. So it's like the biggest one for her was giving her a form of structure with some tools in her box that she could use, that she would remember to use. So, you know, when I would check-in with her every couple of days, it would be like, how's your day going or whatever. And she would say something and I would be like, okay, what tool out of your box can you pull out today? And she's like, okay, right. I'm gonna go to go and do this. You know, and it it's the simple things. And that was, you know, now she's at like 12, fourteen weeks, and now we're really starting to go for it. Like her, you know, her kid's doing great. She's back in school. They have a great more structure in their life. She's expanding her business. Like she is Caliente, as we say in Mexico, she is on fire fuego.
Like it's great. It's awesome. But, you know, like the biggest one with her is that the hormones got her started, but it was all of the life changes that really took her there. And it's interesting because every woman is really, really, really different. And, you know, I find that there is like a lot of women that want to do everything naturally. Okay. And they're really resistant to hormone replacement. They want to take supplements instead or make lifestyle changes. And I am all for that. I am absolutely 100% for that. But I kind of look at it this way. It's like how severe are your symptoms? Because if you're gonna, if you're gonna take the natural route, then you're gonna be treating the symptom.
Okay. So like you can use Ashwagandha, you can use melatonin and you can use all of these things, but you're treating the symptom. If you're a person where your hormones are depleted. Okay. Then treat the root cause, which is the fact that you've lost a significant amount of estrogen or in my case, you know, I, I was, I had no testosterone. Yeah. Okay. So, and you know, this, this takes it into, you can treat it however you want to treat it, you know, and definitely I think the key point of this is, and it's going to take some woman. It takes a while. You have to really find an amazing hormonal doctor that resonates with you. And this is a person that you are looking to build a ten to fifteen year relationship with, because I can attest to this. Your script is going to change every year, every six months, with the seasons, with your stress level. So you have to be able to be in communication with that doctor and know that your script is going to change. And people are always like, well, my hormone panel says this. My hormone panel says that your hormone panel is one tenth of the pie.
Okay. It's a baseline. Like the, one of my greatest regrets is that I never got my hormones tested when I was 38. If I had known what my hormones were at 38, then I would know what my optimal is. So I would know how to supplement, to go back to my optimal. I tell all my servicers that are in their thirties, get your hormone panel done now. And, Marjatha, you can stick it in your arse. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I know we were just talking about wishing that we had, like, cool aunties like us when we were in our thirties, you know, to understand this stuff. Like Yeah. Like Wow. You know? So but it's taken me ten years of bioidentical hormone replacement to figure out where my optimal is. And that changes like my script changes. It's crazy. Like, you know, my I've got a couple girlfriends who have been on them almost as long as I have. And, you know, we talk about it and it's like my spurt changes in the winter. I I need less testosterone in the winter and I need more testosterone in the summer because I'm working out more. I'm sweating more. I'm this and this and this. Right? And the second, like, I've had a couple moments where all of a sudden I was like, oh my god. You know, I just have to have a hot flash. I've already had a few hot flashes because I've been on hormones. I was like, holy, holy shit.
I had last November, I was having hot flashes. I was on the phone. So phones got fast to the doc. I was like, I think I'm having a flush. There's something wrong. You need to address my script. And he was awesome. He was like, calm down. I'm like, I need a new, I need a new cream. I need a new cream. And within five days, he's like, he's like, okay. This is what I wanna do. I'm gonna order a new cream, and you're just gonna double up on your estrogen cream for the next five days, like, and see if it helps. Sure shit. It helps.
And you're like, thank god. I was like, thank god. I was like, how do women do this without any help, especially the hot flashes and, and, you know, and,
[00:34:07] Unknown:
and the, the anger, like the mood swings, like Let's talk about menarage. This is a good life. I didn't even know this was a thing. And I experienced this in my lifetime and my poor children had to deal with it. And I didn't know that was going on.
[00:34:20] Unknown:
One of the best success stories was one of my girlfriends. And she, you know, she was super resistant to it and it, and it took her about two or three years to actually like consider going on hormones and addressing what she was going through. But she was like, she was a Scorpio. She's like super vibrant, super sexy, like loves men, loves life, like super fun, totally on point. And she went through these couple of years where she just got angry. She was just angry and bitter and it got worse and worse. And the more she drank, the worse it got. And she would started drinking a lot, a lot, a lot of wine, and she would get really, really angry. She had no interest in men for years. She had no sex. She had nothing. And she was like, at one point, I think she thought she was a lesbian.
And she was just like, she was just absolutely not interested in men. And then she started to put on belly fat and it just, you know, and then she had, you know, like it just, it was like this continual slide downward spiral. It sounds like. Yeah. But it's almost like with the mental range, it's almost like, it's like women don't remember that they're that angry. You know, like when you have a kid and after you have a kid, it's like your body forgets how painful the birthing process was. And then like eighteen months later, you wanna get pregnant again, but you forget how much it hurts. It's almost like the same thing with mental rage. It's like, I watched women go completely nuts, start screaming at each other, and I'm just like and then the next day they're like, hey, babe. What's going on?
You were just reaching bitches to each other. And I was like, wow. Like, wow. And it was interesting because once it got to the point where, like, I knew that she wasn't super, super happy. She actually came came in to talk to me and she's like, I think I'm ready for some hormones. And I was actually kind of scared to, like, suggest anything because I was like, oh my gosh, it's gonna fall down. She went to the doctor and she got on some hormones. And I swear to God in four weeks, my beautiful girlfriend was back. It was unbelievable.
She was happy. She started online dating. She started getting laid. She was losing weight. She was back at the gym. She and what also happened because she was happier. She started drinking less.
[00:36:55] Unknown:
Yeah.
[00:36:55] Unknown:
And Yeah. You don't need that coping mechanism when you feel good. Just and, you know, like, two years into two years later, she's her fabulous her fabulous fucking self again. And it's like, and she unlike dates like a machine. She's like, she is like the proof that you can be like an absolute panther in your face. And she dates nothing but younger men and she's all about it. And I was like, wow.
[00:37:30] Unknown:
Go girl. Go cougar, panther girl. Well, so let's so a couple things. So as a menopause strategist, you know, you're somebody who obviously directly supports women, but I think about partners. Right? Whether you're a husband or a, you know, a wife has you know, woman partner. Like, those people should know about what's going on, and perhaps that's even another market that could be this address to you because if your partner doesn't know what's going on, how on earth can you feel supported? You're just like, here, go over there in the corner and go in your red tent and leave us alone until you feel better in twenty years. Like that's not partnership.
[00:38:08] Unknown:
A really good friend of mine that I've known for twenty five years and he is in journalism and I knew him like way back in my Whistler days. And he is a male advocate for menopause. Wow. And he has read all the books available for men. Kim and I are actually collaborating on a book for men Nice. To address women, you know, and I'm gonna, we're gonna call it, she's just not that into you because it's kinda true. But, you know, he and and so it's very cultural differences over there, and the stigmatism around menopause is very, very strong. They don't wanna talk about it. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. But, you know, he's he's done a deep dive because he does tons of research on, you know, the rates of divorce and separation and, you know, all of those things for men that are in their forties and fifties and what's going on with, you know, men have their own stuff going on. Totally. They're menopause.
They yeah. They have menopause and adriopause and all the other pauses. And, you know, and, you know, but, you know, really when I, you know, I've got a I've I do have a lot of girlfriends who have really, really solid husbands that they've had for, like, twenty or thirty years. But when I, when I talk to my buddies about it, they, they know, they know, they know what, you know, like I've even said they've said to me, like, how, how can I, how can I help her? Like, when she's like losing all of her shit, like, how do I help her? I'm like, you know, how you help her is you go around the house at the end of the night and you take her keys and her phone and her eyeglasses and all this thing and her wallet, and you put it in one central space. So when she wakes up in the morning, she knows where it is. That's how you help her when she is like raging or like having a complete meltdown and, you know, bursting into tears. You just go and give her a hug and you don't, you don't mansplain how to fix it.
[00:40:10] Unknown:
Yeah. I know. That's the men are from Mars, women are from Venus. Like, men are fixers. I have a lot of masculinity. I think you and I do because we're Aries and ruled by Mars, but I'm a fixer naturally, but I think men are fixers. They don't wanna just listen and just give you that hug. Right? And it's just like because it is. That's their nature, and it's okay. There's nothing wrong with men having that nature, but they do. They when they feel, like, something's broken or wrong, they're like, well, I'm well, I'm supposed to do something. So just sitting there with it, the thing that they're letting you know, the sadness and letting it pass is not in their nature. And the sex thing is, the sex thing is huge, you know, because
[00:40:47] Unknown:
a lot, a lot of women, when they go through menopause have big problems with sex. It's painful, it's dry. They have, you know, like physically it hurts. So, you know, estrogen creams and, and there's even like great companies out there that have like menopause lubes and things like that. Those things help, you know? And, but the men also intertwined with that have to understand that the woman still needs to be like, stimulated. She's gotta feel like in the mood. Now that's also her responsibility. And this is part like one of the things about the sleep rituals is like, if you've got a partner and you generally have sex at night or what have you, then it's like, you need to set yourself up. So it's like, you need to tone up, tune out, turn your phone off, have a bath, light a candle, do what you need to do to make yourself feel better. If you're waking up at 04:00 in the morning and your mind starts to race.
Okay. Well, that's a great time for early morning sets. Okay. Like change it up, you know, like, but for women, they just get to this point where they're so overwhelmed that having sex is just one more thing.
[00:41:59] Unknown:
Especially if you're, you know, you know, dealing with kids and bedtime rituals with them and the kids keep getting up and it's annoying, they won't go back to bed and yada yada yada. The last thing you wanna do is have another person tugging on you. But you just wanna be left alone and go away. And it's difficult because you have to, like, schedule, Like, don't come in our room. We're locking the door. Mommy and daddy are alone or, you know, whatever it might be. So each person is gonna have their own different way. I know for me as a young mom, it was just like, oh my god. Even, you know, I'm I'm an older mom. I have my kids later in life, but it was just like, I'm just exhausted. All I wanna do is sleep, but I knew I needed to, like I love sex. It's the best one of the best things God gave us. You know? It's like, woo hoo. Yeah. Like, thank you. Talk about a stress reliever. I know. Right? So okay. Well, let's circle back to the stress. Okay. So men are age is a thing. And men Men are age, you know partners helping their their beloved through this process is important.
[00:42:57] Unknown:
Is a thing. And it's like, and it can be about anything. It just, it, you know, it creeps up on you, like, you know, and let's, and this is what I said, like, even with all the great tools in your toolbox and even being on hormones, like I still have moments of mental health, You know, like, you know, I was cleaning up my, you know, my 15 year old dog's pee pad a couple of days ago and I just like freaking lost it. And I was like, okay, I need to like, need some water around those wrists. Like, I need to like, just tune out for a sec here.
So I think the biggest ex the biggest thing for women to understand is that to remove the overwhelm, the biggest thing is, is that you need to find the tools and strategize the way that works best for you because every woman is different. And if that includes, hormones, great. If it doesn't and you wanna do it naturally, great. But then you really have to be open to looking at the way you exercise your nutrition and how you manage your stress and how you're sleeping and be open to changing those things and keeping in the back of your mind that those tools are going to evolve and everything is going to change over the next ten to fifteen years. Some women still have menopause symptoms into their sixties.
So it's like, it's not this quick fix. It's not that. And the other one I get from women is well, I'm, I'm just, I'm just gonna wait. I'm just gonna wait until like my period stops and then I'll look at hormones or look at this or look at that. And I was like, why are you waiting to add something into your life that is going to help you from going crazy?
[00:44:43] Unknown:
Well, I think for and I'll I'll speak to that. Because I think we said earlier in the, the show, like, you know, beginning of this year, I was talking to you about, you know, hormone replacement and all this stuff, and I'm like, I'm fine. I feel good. And you're just like, mhmm. And cool. Great. Good for you, Val. And, you know, a couple things. Right? Because we think that things are gonna stay the same forever because that's how they've always been, and I'm gonna, you know, be able to eat what I want and not, you know, gain a whole bunch of weight, blah, blah, blah, all the things. And so we resist aging, you know, because we we don't want to age, and we, you know, think that, oh, no. No. I'm the special snowflake. I'm gonna be different. And then it's in our minds, we think it's very expensive to do this kind of stuff, you know, and that was an obstacle for me because I was like, I'll just save my money, and I'll wait. I'll wait. I'll wait. And it's like, by not getting sleep, not feeling good, I'm losing productivity. So it's actually costing me money not to manage my health you know? And everybody's obviously on different budgets, you know, and depending on what part of the world you're in. You know? Like, up here, hormone replacement therapy and going to the doctors and the testing is very, very expensive. And so I was just like, really? I gotta pay, like, a couple thousand dollars and do all this testing and then the hormones and then the the consultations? I'm like, yeah. No. I'm just gonna wait.
And, you know, so there's obviously options that you offer, you know, with, you know, the doctor that you work with and yourself as a strategist and you know? So do you wanna talk about that a little bit and help everybody kind of get, like, just to meet some you have to meet people where they're at, obviously. You know? Obviously. Everyone has to meet people where they're at. And
[00:46:18] Unknown:
the great thing about this is there's so many different options and platforms. Okay? So depending on where you are, like, let's okay. So in The United States, for example, like, if I have a client who contacts me and they're trying to figure out how they how they can change it up, it's like, okay. I try and target it where it's like, depending if you're gonna go on hormone replacement, I always say what's what's kind of your budget? Like, where where where where are you at? Because you can use pharmaceutical hormone replacement, which can be sometimes a little bit less. Right? Or you can use bioidentical.
Okay? Now that's a personal preference for each single person. I prefer bioidentical because it's the closest to my natural hormones that I can get, and I don't like pharmaceuticals, but that's just me. Okay. So if you know, and there are online menopausal platforms that I send some of my clients to that do online doctors consultations, similar to like the doctors consultations that we do in Mexico, and they will issue scripts in The United States. You know, for our clients, for my clients that are both in Mexico and in The United States and Canada, they consult with my doctor at the doctors that I refer to down here, and they have video calls with them. And, usually, I can get them in to a consultation depending on the doctor from anywhere from 50 to $75 US just for the consult. And that those consults are, like, an hour long. Like Yeah. It was in debt when I saw doctor and called them. It's not like a it's not like, you know, going into Kaiser and you got, you know, you got fifteen minutes or in Canada, you get seven and a half. Like, they're they're, like, full on. They want to know what's going going on with you. Blood work, depending on what country you're in and what your insurance is, sometimes you can get it covered, sometimes you can't.
Depending on that, usually, it'll run you, like, anywhere from a 100 to $200 US. Some like in Canada, my clients in Canada, they got, they gotta go, they gotta go to The States or down to Mexico to get their blood burned because they can't even get those tests up there. But you generally want like, you know, you want all your hormones tested. Some doctors will, like, you know, I I always call them big ones. You know, you want the three biggies. You want your s you know, your estrogen, your progesterone, and your testosterone. Those are the three bigs. Okay. Depending on what's going on with you, other doctors will request substantive tests, hormonal tests, always and always a thyroid test. Always. Yeah. Yeah. Always for sure. But, you know, that's the doctors.
That's the doctors thing, but people ask me like, how much is this gonna cost me? And I'm like, I gotta give them as a range. Right. So you got your blood work and then you've got your consultation. And then when it comes down to your monthly script, generally, a baseline is what I say is you're looking between a buck to 2 and a half bucks. Well, no, you're you're looking between a dollar US to 3 and a half dollars US per day per script. So it depends on how many hormones you're on. Okay? So I'm on three hormones, progesterone, testosterone, and estrogen combination. Okay? I have two different creams and and progesterone.
So I'm spending, like, $3.75 US a day. K. So I'm it's you know, so you're you're anywhere between, like, 100 to 175 US, like, depending on where you are.
[00:49:56] Unknown:
Yeah. And I think about, like, that's a cup of coffee. That's not even a that's not even a regular brew coffee at Starbucks for $3 a day, $3.50 a day. Hey. So, honey, I was spending not a week on wine. Yeah. Right? I know. You're like, okay. Dude, I know. And that's so all these other coping mechanisms, like, that we've used to navigate these symptoms. Right? Like, oh, I'm gonna go shopping or I'm gonna drink or I'm gonna smoke weed or I'm gonna do, you know, whatever. Most women spend more money on more most women spend more money on Botox than they spend on their hormones. I know. Right? Come on. It's like if you're you have to feel good from the inside out, I think, you know, to radiate that good feeling. So it is so important, and I'm so glad that I'm doing this with you, Margie, because it's definitely helping me. I've had a whole another great night of sleep. I'm sleeping like a giant log. I had all these turtles show up in my dream, which show up to remind me to, like, take it slow, relax. You know? I'm in this, you know, the luckiest club sobriety support group, which is amazing, and there's always, like, this weekend thing where everybody's posted, and this woman posted, like, 10 turtle a picture of 10 turtles, like, little baby mini turtles. I was like, those were in my dream last night. So it's just that reminder to go slow, and it's not like a get well or get, you know, perfect. It's like it's a long journey. It's a long journey, and, you know, like important.
[00:51:21] Unknown:
And the, you know, women really need to follow their intuition. And if your body isn't the biggest thing is women, this is why, this is why I refer to it as like a menopause strategy is because, you know, women in their forties, they're, they're fricking smart. You know, people, women, the amount of shit that women do in a daily on a daily basis is like mind blowing. Okay. So women know what they're doing, you know? And the thing about it is, and women really know their bodies. By the time you get into your forties, you really know your body. So respect it. If it's not, if there's things that are changing, don't ignore it. Don't be ashamed. Don't think you're getting old. You know, your life's coming to an end, like be proactive about it because I am living proof. If you're, if you're proactive about it and you take care of yourself in your face. Okay.
And you start making the lifestyle changes and doing hormones supplementation in your forties. You're gonna cruise through this shit, you know, all the way through to your sixties. The other thing is, is that the biggest thing, the biggest thing is when your estrogen drops, this is huge. But women decline their cognitive brain function drops by 30%. Wow. In perimenopause. Okay. It's like, this is where, like the brain fog and the memory and all that, all that comes in. Not just your cognitive brain function. There's also the osteoporosis thing. So there's all these new studies now that show if you're supplementing with estrogen, you cognitive brain function doesn't decrease.
Your chances of osteoporosis are less. You know? So it's like, I'm looking at it as like, one mom will go and spend a $100 on a multivitamin or a b complex vitamin or whatever or vitamin C or whatever the hell you're taking. I'm like, go and spend a salmon on hormones and actually do something that is a preventative, not just for heart disease, cognitive brain function, and osteoporosis, do something that actually stops you from going nuts and enhances your life and makes you a better person. You know? I'm like, why are you gonna wait until your period stops? Like, I was like,
[00:53:34] Unknown:
Jesus. Well, and and you mentioned earlier before we hit record, Margie, just about, you know, and I I I love that you brought this up, but menopause being a bigger, concern that's not addressed in the workplace globally, you know, and you were talking about how many women, you know, each year enter menopause and then how many women are in menopause who are working and how much support and care are they getting? Like, we obviously have, you know, child and family leave. Not that you need to take leave all the time on menopause, but, like, our health care providers taking my Kaiser doesn't address menopause at all. Like zero, there's nothing there. It's like And this is, and this is where, like, I, I just, I go, I am trying not to get super angry.
[00:54:18] Unknown:
Like there are one point there in just in The United States, there's one point two to one point three million women in menopause, like right now. Just starting menopause each year. Yeah, no, right now in menopause that are in perimenopause or menopause, one point two. There's sixty million, there's sixty million women in the workplace over the age of 40. Okay. All right. That we're talking like one in six, one in five women are experiencing the range of symptoms. Okay. And there's no support. There's not like, you know, if you have a bad period and or you're pregnant or you you need, like, you know, your kid is sick, you can call you can go and you can call in to work and say, I need a personal day. I need a personal day because, you know, I got a bad period or I, you know, my kid's sick or whatever. If you're having a bad menopause day, there's no calling in work saying I I'm, I'm, I'm having a bad menopause day. And, and this is part of the issue because the women, those, those one point six million women that are over the age of 40 that are in menopause right now that are in the workforce. Those are your top performing women. Those are your top sales women, your executives, your lead strategist, your high end managers that have the most amount of stress.
Okay. Those are the people that should be being taken care of. And, and, or, and, or that woman, that woman who is going through the change and has to manage her life differently should be able to go to her superiors and say, Hey, I'm going through this. I'm still on point. I'm fine, but I need more time. And if I say I need more time and I need to adjust a meeting or a schedule or a this or a that there's a reason and I don't have to justify it. And that's the difference. Women need to stand up and say, I'm still gonna do my job and I'm gonna do it really, really good, but I'm gonna do it differently. I think that's such an important
[00:56:23] Unknown:
advocacy position. You know, that's not, I've not really heard this discussion. You know? No. I don't work in corporate America anymore. I did, you know, thirty years ago, more than that. But, it would be nice so that we know that, like, yeah, I can stay with my job. I'm gonna be supported. Supported. I'm gonna have health care. I'm gonna have understanding, you know, teammates, coworkers, leads, bosses, whatever, not have it be because it is just like you said in Singapore, you know, your friend is living there. Talking about menopause is just sort of a I mean, at this there was this, down at the local theater, it was menopause the musical.
There was a musical about menopause, and I was just like, okay. You know, what's a big deal? And, of course, as, like, you know, late forties, early fifties woman, it wasn't a big deal yet for me and my brain to think about until I had those negative consequences of not paying attention. And I think just in that that is a thing, like and I noticed this, you know, in the work that I do with people. It's like most of us and myself totally included as you know, aren't willing to start making changes until you're at a bottom, you know, until you hit a rock bottom or until you've had a really negative consequence, again, whether it's health, relational, finance, whatever.
It's like we're we're stubborn creatures. You know? We want things to stay the same because our brain doesn't have to work as hard. You know? And so
[00:57:46] Unknown:
so I think just that prep period for you, Margie, like teaching these young women is so important. The, the prep period. And the other thing is, is that, you know, like when we started, we said, let's make menopause fun and have some laughs with it. Like, you know, like last year, there, the m factor, the movie came out, the documentary about menopause. And it went and it you know, like, so many millions of women watched it and I shared it with so many women and it kinda opened that door of, like, this is called the m factor. It's called the M factor. It's on PBS. And it's great. It's this amazing documentary and it goes through all the different doctors and therapists and different, you know, ethnic ethnicities.
Women react differently, you know, have different symptoms, stronger symptoms. But it was really kind of depressing. Like it really was because it was just like, and that's why I was saying there's no light at the end of the tunnel, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. And that's what I'm trying to explain to women. It's like, you don't have to go through all of this shit all at once a by yourself without a community and without the tools to help you. And it's like, and it's like, and it can be fun. And your forties and fifties can be absolutely amazing. And this is the biggest one. This is where I feel like the empowerment of, of women over the age of 45 is kind of getting lost because we all feel overwhelmed and, you know, it's like, oh, you're 45, you're in your fifties, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's like the biggest thing about being over the age of 45 or 50 is honestly, we just don't give a fuck anymore.
Mhmm. And and and and, you know, I've had my girlfriends and we talk about we laugh our asses up. I just I just don't give a fuck. And, you know, and I say that and I did a podcast, Reel about it. And it's like, it's not that I don't have empathy anymore. It's actually, I have more empathy and more love for my friends, the people around me and the people that I truly care about. Like I really, really do the differences because I don't give it. I just don't give a fuck about the drama and bullshit. And that's the absolute difference. It's like in your thirties and forties, you get sucked into the drama and the this and the that and, you know, and it's an energy suck. Right? And you kinda get round up on it. It's kind of exciting. When you're in your face, just like, nah. Oh, that person's flip flipping out. Yeah. Okay. Whatever.
Go flip out. I'm gonna sit over here with my chicas and have a margarita. Have a good time. And that's that's the thing. It's like, it's not that we don't care. We actually really do care. We actually care more. And that's but it's the standing in your core and being able to say, hey. You know what? I really, really care about you, and I really wanna help you work through whatever it is that you're going through. But I just need to top my cup up a little bit more because I need to be the best person I can be so that I can be the best person for you. And, you know, Oprah's been touting that fucking few decades, but really women don't figure it out until over the age of 45.
Yeah. And that's the biggest one. And you know, Val, like we've got some power, like power powerhouse women around us in our lives. And they're just picking ass. And they're starting new businesses. They're expanding, they're completely evolving and changing and, you know, changing their careers and doing this and their kids are out of the house and they're like, I'm going to get to the world, you know, and you see these women over the age of 50 and they're like in groups of like four or six or eight and they're in Italy. And like last year we went to Tahiti and like our poor boat captain, I thought he was gonna go crazy. There was six of us were going nuts. We were going nuts. We were having the time of our lives because for the first time in twenty five years, myself and my girlfriends, we are allowed to play.
We can play. We were little girls playing and jumping in the ocean and having fun and feeling great about ourselves. We didn't give a shit what was going on back home. We didn't give a shit what we looked like in a bikini. Like it, that is the true essence of being in your fifties. That is what menopause is about because that is what is at the end. And it doesn't have to be the end at 60. You will think like 50 or 45 or 43.
[01:02:27] Unknown:
Like Why don't we have, like, we have quinceaneras and we have bat mitzvahs, you know, for the rite of passage when young girls become, you know, women supposedly at I mean, that's a very young age, but we don't have any other rite of passage ceremonies for women in general to enter the crone years, the wisdom years, the menopause years. You know, I don't love the word crone. It always makes me think of, like, alright. We should call it the the panther princess.
[01:02:52] Unknown:
Panther panther panther
[01:02:55] Unknown:
The the empress years. Panther princessness. I like the panther I like empress. Like, I pulled a empress card one day. I was like, oh, that sounds fun. But, you know, like, this, it's not we're not celebrated for all the years of experience that we've had, and we don't celebrate ourselves because we're in this comparisonitis of, like, my boobs are saggy or I have wrinkles or I don't look the same in the bikini or blah blah. I don't have the same energy, and so we're comparing ourselves to these younger versions of ourselves or other people.
[01:03:26] Unknown:
And then we get depressed, and it's like, you're not supposed to be like that. Like, you're not supposed to be 20 forever. Like, that's ridiculous. And so No. In our society programmed, you know, to think that. Is so programmed on the, you know, the aesthetic of these women and that, you know, everyone's like, you know, you can't have any wrinkles. I mean, you can't have any belly fat. I mean, you have to have great boobs. You have to do all these things and, you know, and,
[01:03:53] Unknown:
hey, I, I, you know, been a hairstylist for twenty five years. Do whatever makes you feel best. Okay? And there's no judgement. It's not about like, oh, I'm just gonna give up and throw in the towel, but it's like not living up to the same set of standards that we had when we were younger. We're not gonna be like that.
[01:04:10] Unknown:
And you know, you can go and put Botox in your face and have a tummy tuck and do whatever you need to do and still be in your power. There's no judgment there. Yeah. Exactly. And that's the thing. And it's like, but to truly be, to truly be an amazing, to truly be yourself, the inside needs to be balanced. Okay. And you, and the, and the tools and the structures and the strategies to keep you constantly evolving and changing and constantly being on your game. That is what your forties and fifties is about. It's like, that's, that's really what it is. Like you got to take all the tools that you've learned and figure out which ones still work and check out the ones that don't. And then I give you new ones that you can throw on the arsenal and see if those ones work. Because really, you just gotta keep trying shit until you figure it out. You know?
[01:05:05] Unknown:
Well, and it's like you said, it's like what worked for you when you're 45 isn't gonna be the same thing necessarily. And even, you know, with this 11 x project that I'm working on, it's like it's about, like, how are you getting that inner harmony in these 11 areas of life? And it's a lifelong journey. It's a lifestyle. It's not like I did a weekend workshop, and, yay, look at me. I'm fixed. I mean, we lost Diane Keaton recently in the last couple days, you know, the the actress. She was a wonderful, wonderful actress.
79 years old. She had cancer, but she was also still still at 79 according to these, you know, things I read, suffering from bulimia. At 79 years old, woman who's stellar, world renowned, star, rock star, actress, genius, creative. Didn't get up here to match her heart. And so she still had a a a food disorder, an eating disorder at 79,
[01:06:06] Unknown:
you know, and I'm just like, I I was like, oh my gosh. 62, and she has a food disorder.
[01:06:11] Unknown:
It's like It's just it's so sad whether it's food or alcohol or drugs or social media or shopping. It's like, if we're not and I'm, you know, obviously, I'm I'm I'm a work in progress. I don't act like I'm some look at me. I'm finished work. Like, if we don't understand ourselves and work on that inner part, life happens and it happens and it happens and it knocks us down and we're like, oh, shit, you know, and we reach for the easiest thing to give us comfort.
[01:06:39] Unknown:
And the thing is, is, is that if you're, if you know, and this is the big one, if you are rolling into your, you know, early phase and you're still having, you know, issues or you've got crutches, you know, whatever that crutch is. Okay. And you roll in and your hormones start to change, then, it's, it's like a double triple whammy. It is. It happened to me. Yeah, because it's like, you know, it's like you get hit even harder and, you know, and I see, I see it. I see it in women. I see it in my clients and they're like, they're struggling, struggling, struggling, struggling, and it and it's just like, you know, but they're like, you know, it's like my, you know, my, my one girlfriend, she, she will not eat a carb. She will not eat a carb. She goes to CrossFit six days a week, works out like a maniac, and her diet consists of cheese, boiled eggs, maybe some greens and, turkey slices and, and her, and it shows like her body has aged so dramatically and her skin and everything.
And, you know, I can, it's like to reach into the choir. But it's like, sometimes it's like, I always say people do the best they can with the tools that they have. Yep. We do. Her, that is what works for her. And, you know, and every time I every time I revisit, I was like, so can I make you, like, an egg burrito? You can have one tortilla today, you know, or, you know, I'll just like shuck some sweet potato soup down her throat or something like something to give her body some nourishment. And, you know, my girlfriend, Shanti, who's the personal trainer and nutritionist.
She's, she's like another, like, you know, I just, I love her because she has been on her own journey as well. And she has gone through all of the ways to eat and what works and what doesn't work and how to get this amount of protein into you and what kind of recipes to use and how to exercise. Like she's another one, like, you know, she used to be like the cardio queen and ride her bike for hours and years every day. And, you know, her and I, all we do is weight train now. We just weight train. It's so much fun. Oh my God. I never, I never, never in a million. I never
[01:09:15] Unknown:
in a
[01:09:16] Unknown:
millionaires with how I thought I loved that. I love lifting heavy. And, you know, I was always paranoid. I was, you know, I'm short. I'm five foot two. I didn't, I wasn't like, oh my God, I'm going to look like a mini me football player.
[01:09:31] Unknown:
Yeah. You're like, I'm gonna bulk up. You're like, no, I don't want that. I want it lengthened, not widen.
[01:09:37] Unknown:
I'm like, I'm gonna be like mini me. And, and no, it doesn't work that way. Like, so we get together and like, La, when she was here in the spring, we were like, we, we dropped so many, we did a two hour lifting workout. It was awesome. We were crushing it. And I was just like, and she had me doing this thing with the broom and I had to like twist and it was like resistance and weights at the same time. I like fell over three times. I was like, what's going on? But like, that's where the fun comes in. It's like, you know, it's like it's like, yeah, it's different. It's all different. You know, if that had been her and I six years ago, we would have been doing a an hour and fifteen minute run-in the woods in Whistler, you know, but we're not doing that now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're we're lifting.
[01:10:30] Unknown:
And it's Lift it up. Right. Yeah. I think that's something for everybody to just be mindful and gentle with ourselves and it's be, like, be open to being like a little hacker or petri dish. Right? Like, just test stuff out, see what works, see what gets you joy. Like, for me, obviously, I I do like lifting weights, but I haven't been lifting weights much. And I'm like, maybe if I had a buddy. So I'm gonna put a little note out to my my wise women Boulder crew here and see if anybody wants to go lift some weights with me this week. I mean, I don't have to have that, but it just it'll make it it's always more fun just to do stuff. It always it always makes it more fun, and that's where, like, you know, that's where the retreats and the community comes in because when we do the retreats, it's like, you know, it's a small intimate group of women. Like it's usually like anywhere from eight to 12, but it builds up community because now those women leave the retreat and they have that
[01:11:21] Unknown:
that that social circle that that's available via text and be like, you know, hey, this is happening to me. Oh my god. You know, like, I almost set my house on fire or, you know, I lost my wallet, like, three times today. You know? Does anyone wanna have a video call and have a drink of wine? I just need I just need some support. And it's like and that is what's great about it because it's like a lot of these women can't they, like, they have friends that they can talk to about it, but everyone is so busy. You know, people got kids and jobs and husbands and, you know, women go, you know, they take these five days for their, for their retreat mainly because their husband or their sister or their kids are pushing them to do something because they know there's something not right with mom.
Yeah. And, and then they go back and they have their toolbox, but then they get wrapped up in their life again. So sometimes they just need to like tap in to that community that we established in the retreat so that they can be like, hey, you know, I'm super, super overwhelmed again. Like, is this happening to you guys as well? And any, like, kinda like tidbits of what to do? And it's like, yeah, shut it down. Like, shut it down, change up your calendar and start pushing things further back and like limiting the amount of things that you can do per day and be realistic. Like that's one of the big things we talk about in the retreat is, like, realistic time management.
[01:12:50] Unknown:
Yeah. And I think that's something for a lot of us to take note of because we we always are like, well, of course I can fit these 20 things in today. And I'm like, actually, I can only do three of them without crashing and losing my shit. But but we get excited and we think we have this energy. And so it's just that being patient and loving and kind to ourselves and Being patient. Yeah.
[01:13:13] Unknown:
I always say, I always say, you know, like if, if your, you know, if your kid came to you and, you know, said, Hey, mom, I'm really sorry. You know, I really wanted, you know, I know I had the, all these chores to do this afternoon, but I really couldn't get to them because I had to finish this essay. You would be like completely understanding about that. You would be like, okay. Give them a hug. I'll be understanding it. Yeah. I'll go for you. Pat on the head, you know? But if mom comes in and says, Hey, you know, I can't deal with any of you guys right now, and I definitely can't make dinner, and I can't do the laundry because I need to go upstairs and have a bath and take care of myself. Everyone would be like, what the hell just happened? Where'd you go? Like, oh my god.
[01:13:54] Unknown:
Yeah. The expectations, especially of of, you know, anybody who's a caregiver, whether you're caregiving an elderly person or a kid or a partner, like, we just expect that this caregiver is gonna stay at this, you know, fifth, sixth gear operating level all the time. And it's like Yeah. No. And especially as we get older, like, our our fuel requirements, our energy requirements do change. You know? And I think that's an important thing to again, just like we talked about. And I think, you know and I know with you and I working together, you're like, Val, you need to prep food. You need to eat more. Please eat. Eat some food. And I'm like, I will. Maybe. Yeah. Like, literally, yesterday, Margie, I spent the whole day down here in my office doing, like, creative work and, you know, redoing branding, colors, all this stuff. And it was 07:00 in the evening, and I realized I was it was, like, maybe 06:45, and I'm like, oh, I've gotta take the dog for a walk. I've been down here for twelve hours. You know, I took a pee break, and I haven't eaten anything. Like, I've I was in such a flow state, and I was just like, I don't wanna break the flow state just to go stuff my face, and I'm not even hungry, you know, but I forced myself to stop and go eat a little bit. But then I worked for a couple more hours, so it was one of those, like, okay. I had energy. I'm taking it. The tank was full because there's gonna be those days where I'm like, I can't even sit here at this desk. Imagine the amount of creativity you would have had
[01:15:15] Unknown:
if you had had a couple of Powerballs in your desk drawer. Who knows?
[01:15:20] Unknown:
You know, like, so I'll get, I gotta, I'll start making some Powerballs. That sounds fun. I like, they sound delicious. Are they those, like, peanut butter power protein things? I'm all I'm I'm I'm like, clients and I are all about the balls right now. So Get some give me some some chocolate salty balls. We're we're making Powerball.
[01:15:38] Unknown:
We're making meatballs. We're making turkey Powerball. I was like, how many balls can you have in your freezer? Because you need different balls at different times of the day. Yeah. Alright. Cool. I like that idea. You should you should do, like, a little live, a ball making, you know Ball making. Zoom. Let's make some balls together. Like, we'll have a Zoom call and make balls. The balls right now. Like, how many different types of protein balls can you have in your freezer? And we've got oats and chocolate chips and this and protein butter, and we've got turkey balls and, you know, spaghetti meatball balls. It's just like, I'm like, so everything, everything can be fun and that's something fun. I can't think of it. Well, or you can laugh about it.
I know, dude.
[01:16:21] Unknown:
Yeah. Take, don't take it so seriously, but like, I think asking for help from people like you, you know, who who are in this journey, and that's, like, what you do twenty four seven is helping women through this. And, obviously, you know, men too and the partners, if if there's partners to be involved. I guess it's just, you know, we a lot of us women, we don't wanna ask for help. We think we can do it all alone, and I've got this. I'm the, you know, I'm the badass until we're not, and then we fall apart and cry. Help. I need help. Instead of, like Yeah. It's so late. Proactive. And, again, speaking from experience and having you help me get off the floor and not cry.
[01:16:59] Unknown:
Thank you. Cry. Well, and it's like, and that's the thing women wait, we wait way too long. Don't wait until you have 20 extra pounds of belly fat. Don't don't wait until you are being mean to your kids or your husband or your girlfriends. Don't wait until you're drinking a bottle of wine every night because you're trying to go to sleep. Like, don't wait that long. Yeah. Like, and because there's no reason to, you know, and that that's the thing that the, the availability is there, the overwhelm. Yes. There's a lot of information on Instagram. There is so much information. Some of it works, some of it doesn't, and this is the biggest thing. Everything is unique to each individual woman.
Yeah. And that's where you've got to strategize what is gonna work for you.
[01:17:57] Unknown:
Well, and I think to getting out of our ego's way and thinking, like and I know for me, again, just speaking from my little humble example of, like, this is just a phase. This is just a funk. I'm gonna get out of it by myself. I don't need any help. Just I'm gonna be in my little my little hole here.
[01:18:14] Unknown:
It's gonna Or it's just it's just the furthest in your fucking life. Or it's it's the Mercury retrograde or it's just where you are in your in your life chart. I've had lots of women say that too. And I believe in all that shit. I know when the planets are like going crazy, but it's like, it doesn't anything that you can anything that's natural that is or as close to natural as possible, that's not, you know, that doesn't have a lot of chemicals or chromoscopes or pesticides or whatever in it. You know, anything that's as natural as close to natural that you can put in your body to balance your body back to an optimal state, why would you not do?
[01:18:57] Unknown:
Yeah. I think it's And that
[01:18:59] Unknown:
And that's where scared of hormone replacement right away. Like you said, like, check the other four pillars out and get those suckers under control. Check check those nutrition or or the urge response and the movement. Yeah. And and all of those things. And there are great natural supplements that will help with certain symptoms for, absolutely for her. And some women symptoms are much less and some women's symptoms are crazy out of control. Yeah. You know, I know women that are losing teeth, you know, and, and girlfriends that had frozen shoulder at 41. And, you know, like there are, you know, like big ones and, you know, and there's like all the, and we haven't even really touched on the depression and the anxiety like that. Those are like up there on the twelve, ten.
[01:19:54] Unknown:
Yeah. That's so huge. And I know for me, nine years ago, it was ten years ago when it really started, I moved, I was massively depressed. A whole bunch of things, you know, the move, the hormones, the you know, life in general, stuff going on with family, my ex, and it was just like, I have serious, like, serious depression. And when it finally got to the point where it was like, I had to go to the fucking hospital and they did all my hormones, they're like, your hormones are totally completely whacked. Your thyroid's off. You're not sleeping. Obviously, drinking was not helping, but it was this whole thing. And I had I'm just like, I'm only 46. How could this be happening? I'm so young, you know, not even knowing that this was an issue. And I almost died. I mean, I was, like, this close to dying, and it was one of those, like, my kids would have lost their mom because I didn't even know that I should be paying attention to my all of my hormones and everything at that time. I just thought, okay. Yeah. It was like doing life.
[01:20:50] Unknown:
It was like me bleeding to death at at 45 and, you know, thinking I had Alzheimer's. It's like Yeah. It's like, you know, there at that time, you know, I was, there was no one ten years ago that I could find to even have a conversation with about menopause, including my GP, who I'd been with for twenty years. Her solution was go back on the pill. I was just like, oh my God, are you fucking kidding me? Like, it was just, so I hope I like, I look at women that I know now that like are 38, 39, 40, 41. You know, I got like three surf girlfriends that are like all in that age bracket. And I was just like, dudes, like she goes, when it starts to change, that's the first thing you need to do.
And it doesn't matter. This is the thing. When you find a really good hormone doctor who has actually really studied, and this is the thing, all the docs admit like, and know in The US that they maybe got two two hours of training on medicals in their entire curriculum. Wow. Okay. Maybe. Maybe. So even your gyno, they're lucky they got two hours. So you're gonna really do the dig and find the docs that have done extra clinics, workshops, understand bioidentical hormones, understand what's going on. And then you gotta make sure that you resonate with that person. That's that's the biggest one because it's it's all gonna change. The biggest one is, is that your labs, they may be normal, but if you're with a really good doc, the doc will look at the labs, but then look at your symptoms and be like, this may be normal on the lab.
But, or that, that lab lab criteria, that scale may not be the perfect criteria scale for you.
[01:22:46] Unknown:
And that's something I think that people don't get. And even too with, like, thyroid stuff when I I didn't even know I had a thyroid until after I had kids because I was always tired, and I was like, oh, that's just part of having kids and started taking all my tests. And they're like, no. You need to you have Hashimoto's. You need to go on thyroid replacement blah blah, you know, hormone replacement for that. And I was like, okay. But there's still just, like, there's different ranges for each individual. Right? And so, like wrong. You know, we need to know that. So what about, like, what just so we'll before we wrap up, just are there any books that you recommend for women to start reading or listening to, to get their heads around this so that, you know, they can kind of have a a broader understanding of what is happening with their bodies.
[01:23:30] Unknown:
Yeah. You know, I always go back. I like old school. Right? So there's been a lot of books that have come out right now that are, you know, you know, Tamzin wrote one and Doctor. Mary Claire Hamer has written one. Those were both, those are both excellent, excellent tools. But to be honest, like if you really wanna understand your body, go back to Sex, Lies and Menopause. Sex, lies and menopause. Okay. Sex, lies and menopause by T. C. Wiley because the first section is all about it's it's about sex, but it's about the body's ability of producing hormones from the time you're in puberty all the way through your, you know, your fertile years and children, children years and into your forties. And then there's a component about the lies. She talks about what happened in the sixties when they came out with the birth control pill and how it only got tested for one year on a thousand women. And then it went into like mass production.
And then, you know, ten years later in the late seventies, early eighties, they did a case study and they about, you know, women's ability and their sense of smell. Right. And how, you know, our partners smell a certain way. Right. And, you know, and that's a hormone thing. So that's why your brother smells gross, but your boyfriend smells gray. And they took like two groups of women and they, they had like fermented shirts of the, of the DNA of, you know, their siblings and one, and then, you know, opposite, opposite genetics. Right? So the women that were on the pill, like seventy five percent of them picked a mix of genetics that were similar to themselves and opposite. The women that were not on the pill, ninety five percent of them picked shirts of men of the opposite genetics.
So then they correlated this to the dramatic increase in divorce rate and separation in the early eighties from these women that had been on the birth control. So it goes through all of it. You know, all of the things that women have been told to put on our bodies because it makes our periods more convenient, or it makes life more convenient, or it makes us not as depressed, or it doesn't make us as anxious and all of these things. And then the third section is about menopause and what actually is occurring. And it, like, when I say there's books that I've read in my life that have changed my life, that would be one of the top five.
Alright. Sex, Lies, and Menopause, everybody. Make sure you get that and you can listen to it on Audible too. You can listen to it and check out The M Factor. The M Factor is a really great, easy movie. It's only an hour,
[01:26:11] Unknown:
to give you a basic understanding of what what's going on. Awesome. And so where can people find you and what's coming up for you? Do you have any things happening that you wanna share with people? Are you doing any retreats? Are you doing any workshops or what?
[01:26:26] Unknown:
We're gonna do a re our next retreat is gonna be in January, the January. Cool. Okay. It's gonna be down in Sayulita. K. It's called the Fire Tribe Fire Tribe, the ignite the ignite retreat. Nice. So that's a big one. Yeah. I love it. I'm stoked for that one. And then anyone can reach me generally through my Instagram. You know, Marjimarcini on Instagram is the easiest for people to remember.
[01:26:50] Unknown:
Okay.
[01:26:51] Unknown:
I've got lots of different reels on there and tips and tidbits on, you know, how to survive the craziness, you know, with the Martini or bust one exam and laugh and laugh more importantly about just being, like, truthful and honest. And then, you know, from there, there's more information at the 88degrees.me website. But, you know, realistically for menopause, it's just easier for people to go onto Instagram and all of it's on there. Instagram. And can they get like an appointment with you and do a consult? Yeah. Yeah. Just DM me and they can, you know, I'll respond and then we can book a video call. And those are usually the easiest. The first video call is always complimentary. Because I, you know, I just have to be like transparent with people and be like, you know, either we're gonna, you know, either we're gonna resonate and then we're gonna work together and it's gonna work for you or it's so it's like, you know, that after talking to someone for an hour. I, you know, I can tell whether or not I'm the right fit. And if I'm not, generally, I'll have someone who's a better fit.
[01:27:50] Unknown:
Awesome. Okay. So this is awesome. What would you say to somebody right now who's listening and who's on the fence, who's, you know, just listened to this whole episode? And obviously, we said, yeah. I get it. Be proactive. La la la. But they're still having that, like, not me, not me, not me yet. And maybe they're in their mid forties hitting up to 50. Like, what would you say to them to just put their minds at ease that it's a good decision to start paying attention to this now?
[01:28:16] Unknown:
What I would say to them is you don't have to change everything at once. And that the most important thing is to listen to your body and respect it when it starts telling you that something's not right. And it can be in any area of your life, whether it's emotional, spiritual, mental, or physical. So trust yourself, like, listen, listen to what your body is telling you and respect it and, and try and honor what it's trying to tell you and get some support before it starts screaming at you. First question is the biggest one, you know?
[01:28:58] Unknown:
Yeah. Listen to what Margie says, everybody. Cause I didn't listen and
[01:29:02] Unknown:
I thought I had everything. Because the more you ignore the symptoms and the things that aren't flowing right in your life, then the harder it is, the change is harder when you finally get to that.
[01:29:17] Unknown:
I think it's it's that it's that analogy of, you know, maintenance is cheaper than repair.
[01:29:22] Unknown:
Mhmm.
[01:29:23] Unknown:
You know? And I think about, you know, the check engine light comes on and you ignore it, and then all of a sudden all this stuff happens. It's like, as soon as you get like you said, listen to your body, listen to that check engine light. And when you feel it or think you're feeling it, like, don't wait until you're broken down on the side of the road. You know, that's not the time to get it done. And the biggest thing is, is that,
[01:29:45] Unknown:
you know, don't let anyone disvalue what you think, what you know is going on with your body. That's the other big one. If you go to a doctor and you're telling a doctor that you're having issues and you're having problems and the doctor doesn't address it, then find a different doctor.
[01:30:01] Unknown:
Yeah. Yeah. And it can take a few, right? Like it's not a big bite. It's
[01:30:07] Unknown:
going to take a few. You know, it took me a long time, long time before I actually walked into a doctor's office and sat down and talked to a doctor who actually got me and it cost a lot of money and better. It's better now. It's definitely not gonna cost you $6,000 like it did me ten years ago. Yeah. That's good. But I would, I would, I would have paid anything ten years ago to feel better. And I did, and it worked. So like when you, when you put it down, your health is worth everything, Because if you don't have your health, you have nothing, you have nothing.
So, and people generally don't realize that until they almost die. And then you're like, oh, well maybe I should pay more attention now. So it's like, listen to the little voice inside of you and, and don't let that little girl have to start screaming.
[01:31:05] Unknown:
Totally. Yay. Great, great words of wisdom from Margie Martini, the menopause strategist to the stars. I think everybody's a star. So,
[01:31:16] Unknown:
thanks for that Margie so much. Thanks for having me on now. I'm glad that we were able to, like, have these conversations and hopefully spread the love and light to the other ladies out there that need a little bit more support, you know, so that we can all kick ass in our fifties and sixties and seventies.
[01:31:35] Unknown:
Yeah, exactly. It's it's unlike and we'll have our own little rites of passage. It sounds like you're doing this with the fire tribe and the the ignite retreat. You know? That's your your ceremonial right of passage. I love it. This is awesome. Everything's gonna be in the show notes, everybody, and make sure you guys go follow Margie Martini on Instagram. If you guys need to make, you know, a call with her, I highly recommend it. Margie's amazing. She's helped me transform myself, and I'm so grateful for you, Margie, for everything you've done for me and for what you're doing for all the other ladies out there. So blessings to you. Blessings to you, ma'am. For tuning in and being on the show. Love you, and peace, love, and aloha, everybody.
[01:32:12] Unknown:
Thank you. Adios. Thanks, Marty.
Opening: Making menopause more bearable, not medical advice
Guest intro: Margie Martini and the five pillars tease
Menopause as a 10–15 year transformative process
Tools and the evolving menopause toolbox
Hosts personal spiral and sleep struggles
Margies journey: misdiagnosis, brain fog, and bioidenticals
Books, WHI fallout, and HRT backlash
Barriers to care and finding a practitioner
Lab insights and life-changing hormone support
Emergency hysterectomy and lifestyle adjustments
Rethinking exercise, stress, and symptom relief
The Five Pillars: hormones, nutrition, exercise, sleep, stress (+community)
Sleep wins: protocols, magnesium, and 03:00 wakeups
Start with one pillar: food frequency and fueling
Client case study: sleep ritual to nutrition reboot
From brain fog to workouts: managing cortisol and stress tools
Natural routes vs HRT and finding the right doctor
Testing, seasons, and scripts that change
Menorage and a turnaround story with HRT
Hot flashes, quick adjustments, and mood swings
Partners role and a book for men
Sex, pain, timing, and setting the mood
Overwhelm happens: tools, water, music, and boundaries
Cost, access, and budgeting for hormone care
Sleep, sobriety, and going slow
Trust your body: prevention and cognition benefits
Workplace advocacy: supporting top performers in menopause
Light at the end: empowerment after 45
Rites of passage: from crone to empress years
Balance the inside: evolving tools and lifelong habits
Make it fun: lifting weights, buddies, and retreats
Realistic time management and self-compassion
Protein Powerballs and food prep hacks
Ask for help before the rock bottom
If not HRT, optimize the other pillars and supplements
Depression, anxiety, thyroid, and comprehensive care
Find educated doctors and read your symptoms, not just labs
Recommended resources: books and The M Factor
Retreats, Instagram, and how to work with Margie
Final advice: listen, respect, and act before the scream
Maintenance over repair: heed the check engine light
Closing gratitude and invitation to thrive
