First hour guest: Jim Heid
Second hour guest: Wilk Wilkinson
In this lively episode of the Joe Rooz Show, Joe navigates through a lively discussion with two insightful guests. The first hour features Coach Jim Hyde, a board-certified family physician and associate certified coach, who shares his unique perspective on blending medical expertise with coaching. Jim delves into topics such as imposter syndrome, the importance of core values, and how fulfillment comes from within. He also discusses the neuroscience behind lasting change and offers practical advice on navigating life transitions.
In the second hour, Joe welcomes Wilk Wilkinson, creator and host of the "Derate the Hate" podcast. Wilk shares his journey from a life of anger and toxicity to becoming a champion for civility and understanding. He discusses the importance of personal accountability, the power of gratitude, and his mission to bridge political and social divides through conversation. Together, they explore the challenges of maintaining unity in a polarized world and the role of faith and family in shaping one's approach to national unity.
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(00:01:00) Introduction and Housekeeping
(00:06:21) Guest Introduction: Jim Hyde
(00:09:36) Jim Hyde on Coaching and Imposter Syndrome
(00:24:39) Core Values and Neuroscience
(00:47:18) Guest Introduction: Wilk Wilkinson
(01:00:37) Wilk Wilkinson on Personal Accountability
(01:28:43) The Mission of Derate the Hate
(01:54:59) Faith and Family Influence
(02:00:40) Future of Derate the Hate
- Wayne Rankin
- Rosanna Rankin
- Carolina Jimenez
- Jim Heid
[00:01:01]
Unknown:
Alright. Hey, folks. This is Joe Roos. It is nineteen ten hours on sun on Tuesday, Wednesday. Oh my goodness. 07/20/2025, and we are transmitted to you live from the asylum studios deep in the bowels of Southwest Texas and doing the best we can to bring you the best quality talk radio we could muster without all the bluster. Welcome to the Joe Rouge Show. I am so tired. I don't even know what day it is. Oh, my lord. What a mess. Alright, folks. It is great to be with you again here on Wednesday. Let's make sure we get that clear. Wednesday, July 23.
What a start to the show. Alright. Well, folks, I, wasn't with you guys yesterday, as you know. We're back on our Monday, Wednesday, Friday schedule. It's something I need to get used to because I honestly thought it was Tuesday. And I've been like that all day, you know, I've been going around all day long today, not knowing what day of the week it was. I had one of my, one of my colleagues, reminded me gently that we had a task that we normally do on Wednesday afternoons, and I was like, is today Wednesday? Holy cow.
I didn't even realize it. So, my my apologies, but but that's a live show. We we make our little mistakes. We have to, kinda move on from that and just, like, pretend it didn't happen. Right? Just gonna pretend it didn't happen. Alright. Well, so our we have our guest waiting for us in the waiting room right now. So let me, let me kinda move my way through the opening here of the show and do some some of the usual housekeeping we do. So if you would head over to our website, joeroos.com. That's joeroos.com. And when you get over there, open up that web form that you see under the contact section and send us over a message. Let us know whatever it is that's on your heart and mind, any questions, comments, cares, or concerns that you might have. If you have any suggestions for for topics you'd like to discuss or guests that you'd like us to try to get, let us know.
We we aim to please. We like to, we like we like to know what you guys are thinking about and try to accommodate as much as we possibly can. Also, if you don't like to use the web form, that's fine. That's why we set up, an email address for it so you can always email me directly at [email protected]. That's [email protected]. The coffee is coming up. Not to be too gross or personal about it. Sorry. What else we got for you? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Now I forget folks also to check out the support page. Very important. This is a value for value podcast or a big cast or show. I think we'll just start calling it a show instead of all the other little sub names for it. But, this is a value for value show, which basically means that, if you receive anything of value from what we're putting out there, we ask that you return that value to us in the form of a donation.
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Alright. Let's see one more. Let's, let's go this one. So folks, as you know, we have our affiliate link with the alexjonesstore.com. And if you use our link right up there on the page right now, alex b, alexjonesstore.com/joe, you can get yourself some of the great vitamins, supplements, apparel, and gear you can possibly imagine. And, as you know, as always, I have my my ultra methylene blue right here that we started sipping on before the show. Oh, that's great. And then keep on sipping through it throughout the show. I did not use ice this time because somebody told me that they could hear the ice clinking in the background and was distracting. So I had no ice, so I'm drinking cool naphthalene blue. So great stuff though. Head over to the alex jones store dot com slash joe. Get yourself a bottle.
They're running a two for one deal right now. So, you buy one bottle, you get one free. So check them out. Great deals on the alexjonesstore.com/joe. And remember, every purchase that you make, 10% of your purchase comes right back here to the show and helps us to fund all this organized disorder that we have. Alright. Well, with all of that out of the way, we'll save the rest for later. Our first guest tonight is a board certified family physician and an associate certified coach with the International Coaching Federation. With decades of experience in medicine and years spent walking alongside people in recovery, ministry, and in leadership, he's developed a rare perspective, one that blends, medical expertise with deep listening, powerful questions, and a knack for helping people find what's missing, not just in their careers, but in their lives.
From helping others navigate imposter syndrome and identity loss to exploring core values, neuroscience, and the path to true contentment, Jim Hyde is a coach who understands that fulfillment doesn't come from a job or from retirement. It comes from finally finding you. So folks, Joe Root's audience, I'd like to welcome Jim Hyde to the Joe Root show. Jim, are you out there? And there he is. Good evening. Alright. Jim, it's great to have you here. We're really honored to have you here tonight. So, this is a real be a real treat for our audience. You know, I like to bring a lot I like to bring variety to the audience with our guest segments, and and this is something that we have not really gone down a road with. So, so we're really looking forward to getting into the conversation for tonight.
But just to warm you up, just gonna ask you as just one question to warm you up. Usually, I have, like, three or four, like, the bullpen, you know, tosses, but Yeah. Just just gonna do one tonight. So what's something most people don't know about you but should?
[00:07:57] Unknown:
Wow. Don't know about me but should, well, I I think you hit a lot of the highlights, but, I also, I enjoy wine so much that I decided to start growing Tempranillo and, making my own port. Wow.
[00:08:16] Unknown:
See you see that see this is a this is a message to our producer, Angela, or or anonymous Angela. Because she, you know, we we we speak throughout the course of the day, and and we come up with, you know, ideas, and you know, how can we break the ice with with guests and so on and so forth. So we come up with these questions, and one of the questions is, that we came up with. So what's your go to beverage to help you unwind at the end of the day? And so far, everybody that we've interviewed says, just water. Alright?
If I would have asked you that, you could have told me wine, that would have been great. There you go. You see, note to Angela, we we we're gonna keep the question in there. Alright. Alright. So port wine, I love port wine by the way. I make I make a fantastic port wine vanilla ice cream sundae. Mhmm. It is absolutely amazing. Candied cashews, fresh fresh whipped cream. Oh, it's it comes out so good. I I and and fresh homemade caramel syrup. I I I sauce. I never never will ever share my recipe with anybody, so don't ask. But I love using a good port with that. It just tops it perfectly. And it's a layered one, so it's ice cream, the port, some cream, whipped cream, and the caramel, and the and the and the cashews, and you just stack it, stack it, stack it. It's a nice big use a Sounds great. Use a glass like this to to make it. So Yeah. So this is good.
So that's great. So you'd so you so you like to drink your wine. I'm a bourbon guy myself. I I like to, I don't I don't I don't do it on the week during the week too much because the job and, you know, and I wanna be sober when I'm doing when I'm doing the show. So, and since I do the show right after my regular job, I can't unwind with that. So and then by the time the show is done, it's too late, and you know how it is. So, so bourbon's my thing. I like so I'll I'll sit out in the in in the backyard with a with a nice bourbon, a nice cigar, or something like that, and just relax on a weekend. So but that's good stuff. That's really, really good stuff. Now, you you've been a family physician for decades, but you started but you started coaching in 02/2018. What what led you into that type of a shift?
[00:10:29] Unknown:
You know, one of my medical organizations was saying, hey. We need docs to coach for two reasons. Docs are getting burnt out, and patients you should try and coach with your patients rather than telling them what to do. And I think partly that, but partly the older gentleman I cared for who would come in and they were, like, biding their time. They're like, yeah. You know, I just I just need to work another three, four years, and then I can retire. And they seem to hate the job. And then I see them after retirement, and they were like, oh, man. I'm so bored. You know? I I hate retirement. I really miss the job. And and and as a doc, I couldn't say this, but as a coach, I can kind of poke at people and say, well, so you didn't like the job. You don't like retirement. Let me let me give you a different perspective. Maybe it wasn't the job. Maybe it's not retirement. Maybe it's you you don't like. Oh, that's a little point to Let's help you figure out the new you that you do like, and you can bring that to work. You can bring that to volunteerism. You can bring that to retirement and find fulfillment. Do you find that when you're that direct with somebody, though, that you kinda turn them off a little bit?
Most of the time, no. You know? It's kinda like it's it there's that awkward silence, and then they're like, okay. Yeah.
[00:11:51] Unknown:
You think think it's more of them trying to figure out if you were being serious or not?
[00:11:56] Unknown:
Well, it's it's a little tongue in cheek, but it's a little it's, you know, most what do they say? Most jokes are there's a little bit of truth there? Oh, yes. Yeah. I I say that all the time, because I I am noted for my sarcasm.
[00:12:09] Unknown:
And and and people don't understand that, yeah, I'm I'm serious. You know, I'm saying with a smile, but I'm being serious here, because there because there is an element of truth behind every joke, and every insult, and every yeah. So so Yeah. I I got you. I totally got you. Now, one of the things that you've said is that that's what's missing in many people's lives is them. Alright. Now now what what exactly do you mean by that?
[00:12:33] Unknown:
Well, I think that people are expecting something to bring them fulfillment, joy, contentment, and they're looking for it outside of themselves. And they're wondering why it's not there. And it it's not there because it's not out there. It's inside.
[00:12:55] Unknown:
Now, you also work with, you work with pastors. You work with other doctors and and people in recovery. Yeah. What are some of the patterns that you see in people when they when they come to face big life transitions?
[00:13:10] Unknown:
Well, they, you know, they they they want them to be they don't want to face them, and then they want them to be over with. It's kinda like moving, you know, if you're packing for a a move. Initially, you don't wanna pack, and then you're packing, and then you just want it to be done and wanna, like, throw out half the stuff because you don't wanna pack it. And you you're tired of the you're tired of the waiting, and you want it to have happened. I think major life transitions are a lot like that. You you kind of anticipate it, then you're in the midst of it, and then you're you're so much in the midst of it, you want it to be done, and you're ready to maybe jump jump off before it's ready, you know, move into the house when it's only half built sort of sort of. So, it takes some it takes some help from the outside to realize that this transition is needs some planning, and it needs to happen slowly. And the the, the in between phase is gonna be awkward.
[00:14:21] Unknown:
I can imagine that. And now, one one of the things that that gets me is that you work with pastors. Now I I come from a background, I'm a I'm a born again Christian. So, I've I've served in church. I I've worked with, I I've I've been an associate pastor of a church. I've I've, you know, taught Sunday school lessons. I've I've filled the pulpit from time to time, when when the pastor would ask me to do so. And, so when when you when you say what are some of the transitions that you see someone in the ministry, making that would would that would set them back or hold them back or or give them some some reason for or or cause them some kind of a stress that they would not be able to process enough where they could, where they would some, come to someone like yourself and and, and seek some kind of co counseling or or coaching.
[00:15:17] Unknown:
Yeah. I think a lot of that, again, is is that it's that, it's that church growth. You know? They've been a small church pastor, and they need their their outgoing they're outgrowing their building. They're outgrowing their style. They're outgrowing something. Or a lot of times, it's also that transition of, well, the senior pastor is moving on or needs to move on because the church is going in a different direction than the pastor's going. And so you've got the team that's like, okay. What do we how do we do this? How do we navigate, how do we navigate navigate a major change without losing most of our congregants?
[00:16:08] Unknown:
Yeah. The, and I I can speak to that too because I the the church that I associate, the that I was, APN, It's easier to abbreviate. We went through something like that. Our senior pastor was very, very sick, and, that's when they had asked me to step in as an associate pastor just to kinda help them and and work the church through, that particular transition period until they found a permanent senior pastor. I had really had no interest in in doing that myself. I was happy in the role that I was in, and, I didn't feel like I was being called to do more than what I was doing. So, so I I saw that the the stress and the strain that it put on people, to go through those transitions.
And I would imagine though that, that that similarly, it would affect people in the medical profession as well. Your practice is changing, it's growing, it's evolving, you know, or or it could be going the other way. You could be losing people and not understanding why. And, so so do you have any examples of of any type of coaching that you would give someone in in especially in the medical profession. I right now, I work in a nursing facility, so I I'm kind of seeing that from time to time. And, I have a lot of friends who are in the medical profession and nursing and so on and so forth. Very, very stressful work, very tiresome work.
You never seem to get a break. You're always learning. You're always going through some kind of a training. Right. So so can you give us some ideas of of what type of scenarios you've come across that or if you can share something like that? Sure. Yeah. I mean, you know,
[00:17:42] Unknown:
oftentimes, it is like, you know, the transition of someone coming out of training and then their first job and trying to figure out what are the what are the boundaries. You know? Where where do I fit in with this group? And yet, you know, how do I how do I become my own self, and how do I fit in? How do I be authentic and a team player? And, also, you know, when you're first there, it's it's like you're in that dating phase. You're you're professional, but you're kinda dating this this group. Do I wanna stay with this group or not? And so a lot of times, there's there's a lot of questions need to be asked. Where do you wanna go?
Where do, you know, where do you see yourself in three years? Where do you see yourself in five years? And is you know, I think oftentimes people wanna jump ship if they don't think that this is leading where they think they want to go in three to five years. And so what I try and do is, okay. How do we how can we make this into the type of experience that turns you into the, maybe not the location that you wanna be, but turns you into the doc, the professional that you wanna be three years down the road.
[00:19:09] Unknown:
I see. I got you. One of the things that I came across when I was going over your profile and and your background is, you talk about imposter syndrome. So I'm I'm I'm very curious about that. I've heard of it. I don't really know much about it. So I'm wondering, can you explain to us what exactly imposter syndrome is?
[00:19:27] Unknown:
Yeah. So imposter syndrome has lots of, it's been described like a shadow. It looks a lot like you. It moves like you. It follows you, but it's not really you. And it is it's that experience that you you're you're gonna be found out. Someone's gonna find out x and know that I don't belong here. And, you know, it's kinda showed up in a really interesting way when I first started working. I'm starting residency. I've been out of med school a week, week and a half. And it was funny. I heard this. I'm writing a note, and I hear this doctor so and so, doctor so and so, and I'm thinking, wow. This doctor is not paying attention. And I I I don't know. I I stopped writing, and I started listening. And doctor Hyde, doctor Hyde, and I'm like, that name rings a bell. That name rings a bell. Oh, that's me. Oh, crap.
And I, so I, you know, I dealt with whatever was necessary. I'm like, you know, I'm still not used to that title. You know, you can call me Jim, and the nurse was like, no. I can't call you Jim. And I realized that she was kinda calling me out on imposter syndrome because I didn't I didn't see myself as a doctor. I was still a medical student or still in training. No. I was I was a doctor. And kinda what she was saying was, no. I can't call you Jim. I'm gonna call you doctor Hyde because doctor Hyde is who all these people around you need to be here.
They're sick patients. They're nurses that need orders from you. They're patients that need your care. Right. I'm gonna call you doctor Hyde because that's what they need.
[00:21:20] Unknown:
Well, that makes and that makes total sense. Actually, now you you explain it that way. That makes total sense. And I I guess everybody kinda goes through that in some way, shape, or form, because, when my own circumstances, when I stepped up as the associate pastor and they started calling me pastor, I was like, no, it's just Joe. I'm just I'm just, you know. I'm just I'm just filling the pulpit. I'm not really a pastor. Yeah. Exactly. And and and but the senior pastor actually told me pulled me to the side, said something very similar to what you just said, that the nurse said to you. No. They have to call you that. They have to acknowledge the fact that you are in a leadership position here. And, and and whether you whether you think so or not, you're the guy.
You know? So so, yeah, I guess I can understand that. But so why do you think that so many high functioning people struggle with that, though?
[00:22:09] Unknown:
Yeah. We are so Mark Twain, I don't know. Someone was telling me recently some some author of, you know, that ilk was we are all insecure. We're all insecure. Mhmm. I think we all have we all know ourselves way better than anyone else does. We know our dark side, our failings way better than anyone else does, and we just assume that that's gonna that's not gonna stay a secret, and and everyone's gonna find out. So yeah, so it's just a really common thing. I mean, I read a book about a he's a surgeon. He was a Green Beret, married to a supermodel, blah blah blah.
And when someone got to know him, he was just like, I am so insecure about everything every day. I just I have to get up and kinda grit my way through the day. Wow. And you're looking at him going, he's got everything. What does he need to be insecure about? Yeah. That that's
[00:23:21] Unknown:
I I guess, you know, that that's just, I guess something I struggle with too. It's like, at one point, I was going through a a really nasty period of time here, and I was so depressed and so down. And I had everybody else sitting in there pointing out, oh, you got this, you got that, you got this, you got that, you got why are you so well, I don't know. You know, you think about it. I really don't know. And and it's, I guess it's I guess it's just something that, you know, we hold ourselves to such a high standard or high expectation of where we should be, you know, given our backgrounds and so on and so forth. And when we see these little things pop up, we tend to make them much bigger than what they are. And I guess that really is insecurity.
[00:24:03] Unknown:
Yeah. I mean, Lady Gaga, I live for the applause. You know, the way I way I hear that song is as soon as the applause is over, she's gotta do something to bring more applause because it's only during the applause that she really
[00:24:18] Unknown:
I gotcha. Feels
[00:24:19] Unknown:
fulfilled.
[00:24:22] Unknown:
So one of your specialties is, helping people identify their their, their values, their core values Yeah. And, and their and their and their natural talents. What happens when when when those particular things, the talents and the core values are out of alignment?
[00:24:40] Unknown:
Yeah. I think we can espouse a certain value, and a lot of times we do. But they're hard to live by, and it's easier to kinda cheat periodically. But, again, like you said, we're we are our own worst critic. We know every time we skate on our core values. Mhmm. And that voice in the back of your head is just, you know, okay. That's one. That's two. That's 7. That's 12 today. Then there's just so much tension. And it's, it's kind of like someone someone once said that when you lie a lot, you have to remember a lot. Mhmm. When you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything because if someone asks you, you're just gonna give them the same true answer. Whereas if you're if you're making a bunch of lies, you gotta remember, which lie did I tell Joe? Which lie did I tell Bob?
You know? Which lie do I need to remember when they ask me this? And that's the tension that not living to your core values causes.
[00:25:49] Unknown:
Well, that makes yeah. That's right. Yeah. Then, of course, you know, one lie snowballs into another, and it gets just get bigger and bigger and bigger, and you end up spending more time and more energy and more effort, really, in in fabricating the story. And of course, eventually it gets to the point where even you yourself have to say, oh, come on. This is this is ridiculous now. I mean Where where is the truth? I don't remember anymore. You know, when when when did I decide to become an astronaut? I don't know. I don't know. Or like in, like Seinfeld, the the marine biologist, you know, you remember that? I don't know if you've seen that one, but, No. Not that one. Yeah. Well, George Costanza, you know, wants to, impress somebody, so he goes out and tells them that, he's a marine biologist. And then one day, he's strolling along the beach with that with that particular woman, and there's a beached whale. And, of course, she looks at him to help the beached whale.
I can see I can see George in that predicament. Yeah. Exactly. So that's exactly what you just just described. I mean, it's it's it's crazy. But, and and you're absolutely right about that. It just it just it's just an unnecessary waste of energy, and and strength, and effort to to come up with that just to keep just to perpetuate the whole thing. There was I did have a question for you though about and and I I can't find it in my note here. I I it's because it was an add on. But, let me let me just move on to the next one here. Ah, yeah. This was good. The the difference between happiness, joy, and contentment.
[00:27:16] Unknown:
Yeah. You know, happiness is happiness is an emotion. It's it's determined by our circumstances. It's chasing that butter butterfly that you're gonna chase and chase, and it's always gonna elude you. Joy and contentment are an attitude that you choose to have with regardless of your circumstances. It comes from inside of you. And I heard it was a psychologist comedian who said, you know, you know, chasing happiness is like chasing that butterfly and chasing it. Then you sit down and decide to have lunch and the butterfly lands on your shoulder because you're no longer chasing it. That's joy and contentment are sitting there being being who you are and and finding fulfillment
[00:28:04] Unknown:
that in in who you are. But why do you think we confuse them?
[00:28:09] Unknown:
Oh, our we are advertisements or whatever are built to bring discontentment so that you will seek happiness in buying the latest iPhone, the latest whatever. So, we are sold happiness, based on the possession of something, and that's that's the that's capitalism at its worst. Whereas joy and contentment are our free choice as long as used to wake up and thank god that we have two feet to put on the ground and we can stand up and a roof over our heads and all that and warm coffee.
[00:29:00] Unknown:
Yeah. I which I I love my warm coffee. I have I have well, I I finished my methylene blue, so I'm gonna stick with the coffee here for the rest.
[00:29:08] Unknown:
You're you're you're doing cold you're you're you're confusing your body hot and cold, but that's that's that's supposed to be good. It is. It it keeps it keeps you guessing.
[00:29:17] Unknown:
Yes. Your body doesn't know, it it sometimes I think it evokes the need to use the restroom a lot faster. Yes. I digress. Alright. So, you said people can find fulfillment in almost any job or any activity. If they know if they know who they were made to be. How do you help them find that?
[00:29:39] Unknown:
Yeah. So, I mean, you know, there's the I I joke with my clients. There's the easy way and the hard way. The easy way is there are assessments, and I like the strength finders. It used to be called CliftonStrengths. Mhmm. And people some people hate assessments, hate to be labeled, and it's like, okay. Well, we can, you know, we can kinda go through life your day and see what brings you joy, what brings you know, kinda tease it out. But it's a lot simpler to do an assessment. These things are scientifically proven. And then kind of explore how those things show up in your day and where opportunities to make to do more with those talents.
[00:30:24] Unknown:
And so now I wanna I wanna dip into a little bit of, brain science and behavior. So I Yeah. I've I've done some studying. Okay. The the the I'm gonna I'm probably gonna pronounce it wrong, but you can correct me, doctor. The the vagus nerve or the vagus? The vagus. The vagus nerves. Okay. So, what's so special about the the vagus nerve, and how does it tie into emotional and physical health?
[00:30:50] Unknown:
Oh, yeah. So we have the fighter we have the fight or flight, the sympathetic nervous system, that's super high energy, adrenaline, cortisol. And because we're always kinda self critical and we tend to live too much in that fight or flight, Adrenaline and cortisol are great short term when we need to run away from a tiger, but long term, they have all sorts of bad defects. The vagus nerve is what they call the rest and digest, system. So it it's I've heard it said that it's one of the longest nerves. I know it goes down through it goes to the heart, the esophagus, into the intestines. And there's a there's a hack called box breathing. There's a lot of different variations, and I always tell people start with the basic, which is, breathing into a slow count of four, hold in to a slow count of four, Breathe out to a slow count of four. Hold out to a slow count of four.
Do that for yeah. They say at least three times, but I find, really, I give myself I give myself three to five minutes of doing that. So, hypothetically, you know, if I let's say that there was a night that maybe my wife and I had not so pleasant interactions, And I decided to go to bed, and I'm so ticked off I can't sleep. But going in going back into the kitchen and continuing the argument wouldn't have been productive either. And I was afraid I was going to just lie there tossing and turning. I went to the box breathing, and I did it. And I kept I actually kept going slower. I scared myself how slow I started breathing. I actually got a timer, and I was breathing about once every forty five to fifty seconds. Wow.
And so I turned off the timer. I did a few more of those breaths. I stopped the box breathing. I turned over, and I went to sleep. So five minutes from being so livid I can't fathom going to sleep or doing anything, kicked on my vagus nerve to say knock all that stuff off. Right. And I went to sleep, and I woke up when my alarm went off.
[00:33:12] Unknown:
Oh, I'm gonna try that because I I I because I think that that might actually help people who don't who have sleeping problems with it without having to have the Sure. External. Because I I have a try I have trouble sleeping. So I'm I might actually try that out. I'm gonna I'll let you know what how that works. Yeah. It's you know?
[00:33:32] Unknown:
Right. I mean, there's a whole thing on the neuroscience of prepping for sleep, getting rid of screens, or putting them in orange you know, the orange mode. Mhmm. But, yeah, getting away from screens, slowing down, not doing stimulating activities, video games, blah blah blah. And then, yeah, meditation, breathing,
[00:33:55] Unknown:
prep yourself for sleep. And what do you think about, the, you know, sleeping in in red light with red lights on?
[00:34:03] Unknown:
I've not I've not explored that.
[00:34:05] Unknown:
I'm curious about it because I've been seeing some a lot of things about that. I had a few few people ask me, like, when I was talking to some folks at work about speaking you to the tonight, they asked me to ask that question for them. So
[00:34:18] Unknown:
I'm wondering I mean, the you know? Okay. So how long have we been on this earth, and what if what has evolved, what has been created, whatever. But maybe maybe that's like sleeping next to the fire.
[00:34:35] Unknown:
Oh, maybe.
[00:34:37] Unknown:
Yeah. I mean, that's the only thing I can think of that would naturally be a red light in,
[00:34:43] Unknown:
you know, in the night. In an otherwise dark place. Yeah. I I'm not sure. I'm not sure about it. So this this might be a project. Red light is probably safer than starting a fire in your bedroom. Yeah. I would agree with that. But I I also did read something though that they said that, sleeping with some type of, color lighting, whether it's blue lights or red lights, it it does something with the brainwaves. And it can stimulate certain types of thought, and and lead to certain types of dreams, during the course of the night. So I'm I was just curious about about that. And like I said, when a few people asked me about it tonight, I I figured let me ask you.
[00:35:21] Unknown:
Yeah. I I mean, I know that certain colors are supposed to like, yellow is calming and stuff. So I, yeah, I don't know a whole lot about that. But, but yeah. So, neuroscience is fascinating. It's, you know, the whole idea of training retraining the brain and retraining triggers Mhmm. So that you don't they say the unregulated brain goes to pain and a regulated brain goes to joy. And it's I say it's kinda like water. If you had you know, at the top of the mountain, there's very little little valleys, and the water goes that and goes into bigger valleys and bigger valleys. And so if, you know, if your unregulated brain wants to take every experience down the valley that leads to pain, you have to do some work to change the water to flow just to the left. Just up at the very top, it takes very little effort to make that little valley go Right. To the joy.
[00:36:28] Unknown:
Right. So what what does neuroscience actually tell us about how lasting change actually takes place? How it happens?
[00:36:35] Unknown:
Yeah. So, you know, the lasting change is from physiologic changes in our brain. Our our brain has a lot of connections and their wirings, and they, there are synapses that you you can, by enforcing reinforcing them, strengthen them. By tuning them down, you can actually break the synapse or at least make it unusable. And certain pathways get myelinated, and I still don't I mean, I understand the bio biology, but the the physics, something about when you when you insulate it, the the signal goes faster down way. So that myelination so there are physical change in our brain as we actually change behaviors.
[00:37:34] Unknown:
Now as a coach and as as a doctor, how how do you help people, I guess, navigate those lines between what they can control and what they can't?
[00:37:44] Unknown:
Yeah. I mean, that's really, it's it's getting people to give up on changing others. That's that's the most when when people are willing to say that to acknowledge that the the the best person they can work on is themselves, then serious change starts starts taking place. But, also, it's I think the biggest thing is, the first couple of sessions are kinda just like as a, you know, as a doc. People come and see me, and they don't know. And then they're like, oh, well, you know, seems like a nice guy, and he seems like he cares. And okay. I can I can, you know, trust him a little more and and go a little deeper?
[00:38:35] Unknown:
And do you do you do you find that it it how long of a process do you feel like is is it like I'm sure it's not a cookie cutter. Like, you can't say, well, we're gonna start today and by this date you're gonna be like this, this, and this. I'm sure everybody's different. And I'm sure there's a lot of resistance at times as well, especially when you start getting more into their personalities and and and deeper into the the reason why they're actually there with you. Did you find it to be a challenge that is something that that or or challenge that is difficult to overcome?
[00:39:05] Unknown:
You know, it you're like you said, it is very it is very variable depending on the person. I would say that with a majority of clients about and I started joking with clients. I'd say, look. About three to four sessions in, something's gonna happen. This and I'm just gonna kinda roughly describe it. You're gonna say something. I'm gonna ask a question, and it's gonna evoke a response something like this. That's exactly where I didn't wanna go today. Cool. Do we need to go there? And to this date, there has not been a client that didn't say, yes. That's where we need to go. Okay. Let's shift gears and go there.
But it takes three or four sessions to get to that point.
[00:39:51] Unknown:
It almost it almost sounds like, you're like like more like a therapist in a lot of ways in a lot of the sessions that you have. Right?
[00:39:58] Unknown:
It's you know, I mean so, yes. I mean, what we're trying to do there's a big talk. What's the difference between therapy and coaching? Well, therapy is healing, you know, taking someone from a broken state to a to an intact state, whereas coaching is taking someone from an intact state to a a flourishing, a higher state. I see. But, yes, some of the same stuff. And I would say maybe a quarter or a third of my clients are doing both.
[00:40:30] Unknown:
Okay. Now you work with people that are in leadership roles. So in some cases, big leadership roles. What's one challenge that they would rarely rarely admit publicly, but often bring up in a coaching scenario?
[00:40:48] Unknown:
Yeah. I think the, again, it's that it's that insecurity of we all have our own insecurities, and yet we can't can't show that. And studies actually show that leaders are more successful when they show their insecurities. I one of my first jobs twenty some odd years ago, I befriended I just started chatting with our IT our computer geek. And, he just noticed he says, you are the first doc I have ever heard say three words. I don't know. Will you be my doctor? Like, sure. Because he's like, I've never I've never heard a doctor say I don't know. They all think they know everything. So, you know, that that being genuine.
Yes. And I think the the big thing is we all think, well, if I say I don't know, then people aren't gonna trust me. I don't know, but I'm gonna do my best to find out. That's that's believable and trustable.
[00:42:12] Unknown:
I agree with you. I I agree with you, and that that I don't I don't think that is strictly to someone in the medical profession either. I think that that translates across all professions, really. If you don't know something, it's better to admit that you don't know it and find the answer to it than to try to to to snow job somebody into thinking some I'm gonna give an example here. I probably shouldn't because I don't know if he listens or not, but, like, my doctor. Okay. I love my doctor. He's a great guy. He really is Ernesto. If he's listening, I love you, and I'll see you next week. But there are times where I'm actually telling him what my diagnosis is.
Do you know what I mean? Not not that he doesn't know, it's just that I feel like sometimes he's taking a stab at it, not really understanding, but like for there there was an example that I had that I've used several times that, I was experiencing a problem, and I I I went to him and couldn't figure out what the problem was. Wanted to go through all these tests, and and so on and so forth. And I was like, alright. Well, we'll do that. And, came back home and I was just kinda sitting there and I was like, I'm looking at the medication that he prescribed to me, and I'm looking at it and I'm like, I don't know if this is the right thing. And that's why I started researching on my own, and I realized that, okay, I think he I think he was wrong in in what he thinks this is.
Went back to the doctor and I said, alright, so this is what I've got. I got this, this, this, and this, which matches this, this, this, and this. And if it is this, then you need to you need to treat it this way. And he just looked at it, and he said to me, he goes, okay. Yeah. So where'd you go to medical school? I was like, WebMD buddy. You know? But, not that if that's not an endorsement to go out and do that stuff for yourself. You know? I I have a death wish so it's like I don't really care. But, you know, so this is this is just me. This is who I am. I just I I do these things. So, but I was right. And that's that's my point.
Yeah. You know, but just like Everyone everyone's right sometimes. But Yeah. You you can you can sometimes you can find a diamond in the garbage pail. Yep. Every now and then. Or what is it? The the broken clock is right twice a day. Yes it is. Yes it is. Yep. And in some cases, three times a day. You never know. So, but so let me let's get away from all that serious nonsense, and not that that's nonsense, but it's nonsense. The more important stuff. You love the outdoors. Yes. What's your what's your one outdoor activity that always resets your spirit?
[00:44:51] Unknown:
Oh, I love I love biking. I love Nice. Row row mostly road biking. I ride to work two days a week. And, actually, I was today, I had to drop a car off to get some work done, so I threw my bike in the back and just I kinda all of a sudden, I realized I know I know where I need to go. I don't know how I need to get there. I know how to get home, north and west. And I started going, and I was like, oh, that's a hill. Let's climb that hill. And then, oh, I'm in a dead end. Okay. Well, that's cool because I get that downhill now. And it was just I knew I'd be home in time for whatever I needed to do next, and I had allowed enough time. But,
[00:45:39] Unknown:
you know, sometimes I just go exploring on my bike. Nice. I love to fish. Fishing is one of my my favorite things to do, and I my dad and I used to go fishing all the time when when he was alive. And, you know, since I've been since I moved down here to Texas, I have not gone fishing once, and, I wouldn't even know where to go, to be honest with you. I live in a desert for crying out loud. So it's interesting down here. But, let's see. So if someone if someone listening today feels like they're stuck or or they're unseen and, you know, they they just they need some advice, what's the one thing that you would want them to know?
[00:46:11] Unknown:
Well, the the biggest thing is that, you're not alone. There are a lot of people feeling the same way, and there is help out there. There are there are coaches. There are mentors. There are people that can help. And, and, you know, my wife and I were talking about this. Well, if if one thing doesn't work, what do you do? Well, let's see. If you've got a flat tire and you tried putting air in it and it's flat again, and you tried, you know, filling it with a hose, to put water in it and it keeps going flat, you're eventually gonna do something else and find something to actually work. So, I would not give up after one try with a counselor or a coach, if, you know, if you're stuck.
If you're if you've got wounds that need heal healing, you need to you need to give it a couple of tries, find someone that's gonna click with you, and and and do the work.
[00:47:10] Unknown:
Words of wisdom on that one. I'll tell you that for sure. That's a fact. Alright. Well, our our next guest has already checked in, so we're gonna we're gonna, go to take our break here. And, so coach Jim, just wanna say thank you. Thank you very much. So where can our listeners go to connect with you and, learn more about your work and your coaching practice?
[00:47:29] Unknown:
Yeah. At, repurposementllc.com, they can find my my information there. They can schedule a free consult. They can,
[00:47:41] Unknown:
find out more about me. Outstanding. And all of the information that we have available will be in the show notes. So everybody can just click the link that's gonna be in the show notes. It'll take you right to his website and to all his information. Coach Jim, thank you so much for being here with us tonight. Really do appreciate it, and I look forward to talking to you again, sir. Alright, Joe. Thanks a lot. Have a great night. You too. Alright, folks. That is, first hour is coming to a an end here. So what we're gonna do is we're gonna take a break and, reset the tools here. And when we come back, our second hour guest, Wilk Wilkinson, will be joining us. And, we're looking forward to that conversation as well. And, so, don't forget folks, this is a live show Monday, Wednesday, Friday, or or we just say weeknights at 7PM central time. Don't forget our sun our Saturday spotlight at 3PM central time. And, oh, this Saturday, no spotlight show. Actually, this Saturday, we're gonna have at three p at, 12:00, we're gonna have our crypto show, with Marissa Lee, so make sure that you, check us out for that. And then, Sunday, our 06:00 bible study, so you're all all so welcome to join us for that.
Alright. So again, folks, this is a live show. Don't Don't forget to like, subscribe, and share it with your friends, your family, and your followers. If you were watching on on Twitch, Facebook, x, whatever, just head over to that, that app store on your phone there and download the Rumble app and join us here on Rumble. Also, you could, check us out on the web at rumble.com/joeroos. It is free to download, free to to, to sign up, and free to follow the show. Alright. Well, with all that said, we're gonna take our break here. When we come back, we'll, connect here with Wilk Wilkerson. Alright? So folks, we'll see you in a few minutes. Give us about two, maybe three minutes. Gotta use the bathroom, get more coffee. Alright? Talk to you in a few. We'll be right back.
[00:52:31] Unknown:
Up and down, counting out, smiling through the taste of blood in my own mouth. I got bruises and broken bones, but they don't know I ain't in this ring alone. I'm a fighter. No one can say in that last bit because I hit harder when I'm tired. I'm a fighter. I get back up. That's what I do. I didn't soldier on this far. Just No one can keep me down. They didn't know, but they know now that I'm a fighter. No one could say that I'm a running hotter. Don't cash in that last bit. Don't throw that towel just yet. I'm a fighter.
[00:55:15] Unknown:
Alrighty, folks. This is Joe Roos, and we are live at twenty hundred hours central time. This is the Joe Roos show, and the first hour is done and in the books. Hour number two about to kick off. So folks, what do you think of our guest, Coach? I think it went pretty good. Very good information in there that we received. So it was great to have him on the show. We really enjoyed that. That was a treat. And, if you have any questions that you wanna relay, just don't forget to head over to, his website, or you can send them over to us, and we'll forward them on over to him. Alright. Folks, don't forget, live show weeknights, 7PM central time.
7PM central time, 8PM eastern time. And don't forget to head over to the website, joe roos dot com. That's joeroos.com. Leave us a message. Let us know what you think. Look for that support button. If you can help us out with a donation, we'd appreciate it. And, you know, check out our, our our support page itself. You can see all the different ways you can help us out. Alright. Now, our next guest grew up in rural poverty, endured relentless bullying, and started working at age 10 just to afford what his family couldn't provide. But instead of giving into bitterness, he turned hardship into purpose, and he found his voice as a champion for civility, gratitude, and personal accountability.
Wilk Wilkinson is the creator and host of Derate the Hate, which is a podcast that's aimed at helping people move from anger to understanding. He's a director of media systems and operations at Braver Angels, America's largest grassroots movement bridging political and social divides. He also serves on the board of advisors for Prohuman Foundation. And whether he's mentoring through his podcast, shaping national conversations at Braver Angels, or speaking from the heart, he's a devoted as a devoted husband, father, and Christian conservative, Wilk leads with empathy, conviction, and a fierce belief in the power of human dignity.
Tonight, we're we're gonna explore what it means to disagree better, to heal division, and to rewrite our lives from the inside out. Wilk Wilkerson, welcome to the Joe Russo. It is great to have you here with us tonight, and, we're just waiting on you to check to, turn that camera on. While we're waiting for there he is.
[00:57:55] Unknown:
I appreciate it, Joe. Sorry about that. A little technical,
[00:57:58] Unknown:
difficulty on this end. But, that's fine, brother. That's fine, brother. Because like I tell everybody every show, if it wasn't my show if if if it wasn't for technical problems, it wouldn't have a show. You know? So it's it's just the way it's just the way it works. This this, this this mess that we put together every every other day. It's it's amazing. So So welcome to the show, man. It's great to hear from great to see you finally. And, and I gotta tell you, you know, for a for a podcaster, for for someone that's involved in, in political engagement like you are and as a family man, you are a man of many words in the chats. We've been going back and forth. Folks, if you don't know if you don't know what I'm talking about, every message that I sent to him while I got back was a thumbs up. So
[00:58:42] Unknown:
I, yeah, I I get used to using those emojis, Joe. I I I get so many messages from so many places and people every day. If if I can sum it up and save everybody else time with just a thumbs up, I, I I try to do it that way. But, yeah, that's that's odd because normally people just they're like, man, do you ever shut up?
[00:59:03] Unknown:
Well well, you have a whole hour to talk here, so we'll be good. The, the funny thing is though with the emoji, I I I got a little rebellious, a few months ago. And, I was getting so tired, especially at the job where everything they they would come every time you'd write something down in a text group or something, all you gave was a thumbs up. I said, you know what? The the next person that gives me a thumbs up, I'm giving them the middle finger emoji. And and and who and and just who do you think gave me a thumbs up on something that I had put into a text?
[00:59:40] Unknown:
Let's say your mom. My pastor. Oh, no. Okay. Yeah. I I I was trying to think of the two worst people that it could have been if the to to flip them off, and that would be your mom or your pastor. No. The pastor. You had a fifty fifty chance.
[00:59:55] Unknown:
Excuse me. I had a cough there. So, yeah. It was like, oh, now what do I do?
[01:00:02] Unknown:
Yep. But you gotta decide are you gonna be true to yourself or Okay. At that point, you're just like, I think I'll make an exception to my new rule. Yeah. I'll well, I'll I'll lose the jewel in the crown for honesty there. That's all. That's all good. That's right.
[01:00:16] Unknown:
So welcome. I
[01:00:18] Unknown:
oh, go ahead. I was just gonna say, man, I appreciate you you you having me on here. I I, yeah. I'm grateful for it, and,
[01:00:26] Unknown:
yeah. I'm looking forward to a good conversation tonight, man. Yeah. We're gonna have a good one, I think. And we're not gonna disagree. We're not gonna argue. We're not gonna fight. We're just gonna talk about how you work people through that. Okay. Alright. All good. I I'm not a confrontational person when it comes to this stuff. I just want everybody to feel comfortable, welcome, and have a nice casual conversation. So that said, what is something that most people don't know about you, but should?
[01:00:51] Unknown:
Most people don't know about me. Well, it depends. I mean, people have been listening to me for a while, and a lot of people know, that that I used to be a a pretty toxic person. Pretty used used to be a pretty toxic person and and and have turned that around. One thing that people, you know, I I I think that that people don't don't know about me personally is, you know, how often how much how much pain it actually took to get to a point where I I had to, you know, kind of change who I was and and how I thought about things. I mean, it's it's you know, people ask that question, but I don't ever I don't think I can ever put it into words, Joe, how much how much pain and and personal, you know, personal punishment I put myself through before I finally said, you know, enough of this. Let's,
[01:01:58] Unknown:
let's look for a better way. So Yeah. That that I can relate to that. I I can relate to that there there. I I had a a period of my life too where I just I was ready to fly off the handle at the moment's notice. I'd and it was like either punch somebody or punch a wall. It it was that type of personality, but, I don't know. Just I think I think I just decided one day not to be like that, and it just it took it wasn't that simple, believe me. But it was just that waking up that day and say, you know what? I don't wanna be like this anymore, and then start taking those steps to not be like that. So when when you say that, people think, oh, you just woke up like that and just decided you don't wanna be that. No. It was a decision, but there were steps involved with making that decision a reality.
[01:02:41] Unknown:
So I get you. Oh, that's right. I totally get you. That's right. You know? And and the thing is, you know, you mentioned, you know, punching someone or punching a wall, Joe. And and, for anybody who doesn't understand how, how how easy that is to fall into that trap Oh, yeah. Of of that being your default reaction to to all these different things. I mean, I I can't tell you. I mean, I think the only reason I got good at doing sheetrock, Joe, is because at at one point, I was having to fix walls all the time. Right? And and and, you know, it's I I I make I I say that as a joke, but it's not really a joke because, you know, after a while, when you're patching the same spots or doing the same thing over and over again and and and it's costing you money and and whether it be, you know, handyman, bills, you know, having to go out, buy a sheet of sheet rock and the mud and all that stuff, and and then the time that it takes to fix it and and that or, in my case, a couple times putting myself into the hospital for for, you know, whether it be on somebody's head or on the wall and Well. And things like that. It's it's like, okay.
You know, how long are you gonna continue to be this incredible dumbass? Because this is a thing that only you can control. And, man, it it it's, you know, my my wife makes jokes, but, you know, she'll say, you know, if if anybody's gonna do it the hard way, it's gonna be you. You know, it's like the Wilkinson way. You know? Figure out the hardest way to do it and then try to figure out how to make it harder. And, yeah, it it it took a lot longer than it should have and and a lot more pain than it should have, but it was, you know, it was part of the journey, part of the path. Oh, yeah. And, I'm I'm better for it, but, it was it was painful.
[01:04:36] Unknown:
No. I I I totally understand that. Going through similar things like that. I mean, there were times where well, there was one time, I can say it now because it's so many many years ago that I doubt anybody cares anymore, but I had, I had gotten into an argument with my wife at the time, and, I got so enraged. I didn't know what to do next. So instead of taking it out on the wall or taking it out on her, which is the smartest move to make, not to do that, I I just I looked around and I I saw the first thing I saw was the carpet, and I just grabbed it, and I just pulled, and I pulled up the whole side of the carpet.
And of course, you know, that set her off. Well, look what you did now, you idiot. Look what you need, you know. And how you get now you gotta fix that. So now I'm not fixing that. So the next day I called the carpet places, and hey, what kind of job do you guys do, man? The whole whole side of the house, the carpet just came up. You gotta get over here and fix this thing. And they came over, they fixed it. No problem. But, you know, it's, you get sometimes I call the stupid tax. What you were telling what you described is the stupid tax. You made a stupid decision. Now you gotta pay the price for it. So
[01:05:47] Unknown:
Right. Right. And, you know, I I just wanna I wanna bring up something there, Joe, because because what what you just said there, there's a lesson in that that a lot of people may or may not catch, but I wanna kinda point it out because that's it's one of these things. You know, we call it you can call it whatever, evading personal accountability or or or whatever. But but when we do things like that, you know, when we find a way to evade our own stupidity and and and push it off onto somebody else, personal accountability and personal responsibility is one of the greatest tools we have as human beings. That's right. I agree.
And and when when we find a way and and, you know, when we find a way to evade that, like, you just you just said you kinda pushed it off to the carpet people. Look what you guys have done. Right. You know, what kind of position did you put me into to to do this thing? Right. You know, you know, setting aside the whole moral accountability or, you know, unethical side of of what that is. Mhmm. What you've done is now robbed yourself of an opportunity to learn. That's right. You know, I talk I I I write it on all my notebooks, EMI, o f or e or, EMI a o f l. Every mistake is an opportunity for learning. That's right. And and, and and that is one thing that I I had to get to a point where I finally realized, you know what? I as I do these stupid things, right, whether it be getting into a massive argument with my, you know, fiance way back in the this long, long, long time ago, and walking down the hallway. We're both enraged screaming at each other. I punch the wall. I go into the bathroom on the other side. You know? And and now I've got this this massive construction project that I have to fix. Yeah.
But then I've also got her, you know, just crying behind me, you know, realizing that and and and and making me or helping me to realize that, you know, had I been just a little bit further over the edge of of of anger and and hit her, which I never did, never would have. Yeah. But she's like, if you woulda hit me like that, it coulda killed me. Sure. You know? And and that really brings a gravity to the whole situation. It sure does. You know? Now not only do I have to fix that wall, but now I've got in my head how easily could I have been one of these guys in a domestic violence situation that just put somebody in the hospital. You know? And and so so that outrage, that that constant battle of of just anger and and not being able to control my own anger, but then taking it to the next level of realizing there's only one person that can control that, and that is me. There's only one person that has the ability to choose my response to things that are outside of my control, and that is me. Mhmm. You know? That is that you know, Viktor Frankl called it the ultimate freedom.
You know? In in his book, A Man's Search for Meaning, is how do we respond to things that are outside of our control? Stephen Covey, the author of seven habits of highly effective people, talks about personal responsibility Mhmm. Our ability to choose our response. You know? When you start to think about it that way, you and I are freedom loving conservative guys, Joe. That's right. You know? When we think about life, we think about freedom. The ultimate freedom is our ability to choose our response and not just when things are going good, but when things are just going. I agree with you. Absolutely. That are outside of our control is what separates, you know, that old phrase, what separates the men from the boys, and I'm not gonna leave out the ladies because they've got that responsibility too. Absolutely. The re the reality is this. You know? If we want the ultimate freedom, we have to act upon that, and that means choosing the right to response to things that are outside of our control. That's right. That's right. And, and one of the ways that we respond to things too, and this is a tongue in cheek one,
[01:09:59] Unknown:
is to find a good way to to relax at the end of the day. So what do you do, to, to unwind, relax, decompress after a long day?
[01:10:10] Unknown:
Oh, man. Well, in in in a lot of cases, it's gonna probably involve beer or bourbon. I gotta be honest with you.
[01:10:19] Unknown:
Alright. Another note to my producer, Angela. You see, this is the second one that I that I changed the question for expecting, because I thought I was gonna get I'll drink water. Bourbon. Thank you. I'm a bourbon guy myself, man. There you go. I'm a bourbon guy myself. There is nothing better than sitting out in the backyard with a nice cigar and a nice bourbon and just relaxing and watching the sunset.
[01:10:44] Unknown:
Yeah. No. I I I I agree. I I did have to give up the cigars, a little bit, though. They, they do give my lovely wife a headache. So so just the smell of them, but that was fine. I I I still get to have my cold beers. I still get to have my bourbons. And and, yeah, I'm a guy that, be honest with you. I I just I really like to have, you know, have a cold beer or have a cold bourbon and Yeah. And, and sit around and just kinda think about things. I'm a I I I think about things. I'm a people watcher. I'm a people person. Same. I I I interact with, obviously, a lot of people in doing what I do and and try to kind of evaluate all the different things that I encounter on a daily basis. And and a lot of lot of things that I I do just yeah. Sometimes it's just a matter sitting out, looking at the trees, looking at the sunset, you know, watching the clouds, having a cold drink, and,
[01:11:40] Unknown:
just trying to, make sense of it all. Yeah. Now I'm not sure where you live, but I live in I live in Texas. I live I'm in I'm in a little little border town called Eagle Pass. And, I'm not a native Texan. I'm from New York, originally. I've been living down here now ten years. And I will say this, I I I've been through, I wanna say, probably about 30 of the 50 states. I have never seen a place with as beautiful a sky as a Texas sky. And Yes. And it's probably one of the most beautiful sunsets and sunrises that that you could see, and, you know, I I I just love it. I just I just love to sit out there and look at it, and just watch the colors are just amazing.
And, and like you, I'm a peep I'm I'm a people watcher. I'd I'd worked in law enforcement for twenty three years of my twenty five years in New York City, you know, so I you know, it just I'm a people watcher. I watch things. And, you know, I just like to observe and see how people react to things, and and and and I try to learn a little something from everybody, to try to better myself. And, it's it's been a it's an incredible experience. It it it really is when you take those quiet moments and just reflect on things. And especially, you know, you're a Christian man. I'm I'm I'm a born again Christian myself, and you know, I love to spend time with the Lord and to to be able to just kinda meditate on the on the word of God. And, sometimes I just there's just nothing better than that. Just having that quiet time out there watching the sun set over the desert, because I basically eagle passes the desert. So, you know, get to watch that and just see that's amazing. It's just an amazing experience, and that's how I like to unwind.
[01:13:20] Unknown:
Yeah. I mean, like, you think about that is is the sky is often God's canvas. Right? That's right. Yeah. I mean, you you get to look each day. It's a different thing. Each day, it's a different painting. He he he puts a different thing up there for you to look at, and and, you know, you talked about meditating and reflection and and and it's a it's amazing if if you look in nature, how much nature can give you, to to soothe your soul. Amen. It it it I I mean, I I I'm a guy who who likes to hunt. I like to fish. I like to spend time outdoors. I grew up outdoors and and still try to spend as much time outdoors as I can. And, yeah, it's a blessing to to look around at at, you know, at God's, at God's work every day and and see, all the different things that we get to see and And appreciate it too. And appreciate it. Yeah. And and that's that's where it comes in. You know, I talk a lot about gratitude, Joe.
And and it's amazing if you if you start to look at things like that. Right? I mean, something as little as as maybe a cloud or the way a sun is setting or, you know, a different hue that that is is is shining, you know, come, you know, coming through, whatever as you're as you're watching the sunset or the sunrise and and just to be grateful for it. That little feeling you get from that or or or the first time that you see, a different landscape as you're driving across the country. You talked about, you know, being in in 30 some states. And and this country this country of ours is one of the beautiful places most beautiful places on the planet. Now I've been to, I I think, just about every one of the the lower 48 states, most of them in a semi. But but just getting to see whether even if it's from the windshield of a semi, you know, getting to see all the different things that this country has to offer and the different landscapes and Absolutely. Different terrains, whether it be from, you know, the Southern Tip Of Florida by by Miami or even as far down to the Keys or or or up by, you know, Portland and and, you know, Seattle and and and that area up there, you know, from one tip to the other. This country's got a lot of things to look at, a lot of things that are beautiful. And when you think about the idea of being grateful for those things and what that can do for your mind, what that can do for your soul, and,
[01:15:48] Unknown:
then most of all, how it can start to transform your mindset altogether. Yes. We can get into that too if you want. Yeah. But, I wanna ask you this, though. You started working at the age of 10. Right? And Yeah. And, and you moved around a lot when you were growing up. When you were doing that and and going through those moments there, what kind of a mindset did that instill in you from early on?
[01:16:10] Unknown:
Well, that definitely instilled a, a major work ethic for me because when I when I when I was growing up, Joe, my folks just didn't have a lot. I mean, they they didn't have a lot. They they worked blue collar jobs. My dad, whether he was, working in the construction industry or or driving a truck himself or my mom spent a lot of years working in, in in clothing factories. She sewed in in, some blue jeans and for a company called ALFS Mhmm. At at a a l f s, almost like the character, you know, from that that wonderful eighties TV show.
[01:16:50] Unknown:
That's that's some of those what came to my mind when you said it in the first place.
[01:16:54] Unknown:
Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, and I I don't think they were, I I don't think the two concept were related, but but, no, Alice made made blue jeans. Right? So she's she's going in and and and sewing blue jeans for, you know, almost no money at all, you know, in the late seventies, early eighties, coming home, tore up hands, you know, tape and and stuff covering up, you know, wear run a needle through her hand or whatever. And, so my folks and my dad was always, you know, beat up from working hard, like I said, doing construction and things like that. And we just didn't have a lot of money. Yeah. And there were things that I wanted, that I saw that other kids had, that I definitely did not.
You know, a lot of times, we didn't have a a a television or a or a telephone and and other people. And even if we did have a television, it might not even have been color. We certainly didn't have cable like some of the other, other people did. And and, so there were certain things that I wanted, Joe, that that my folks just couldn't afford. And, even if they could, I don't know if they would have given them to me because they knew that the lesson that I was gonna learn, was more important than having those things. So, you know, I'd ask my folks for something, and they say, you know, you're gonna have to get a job and get it yourself.
So, you know, when I was when I was 10 years old, I I I had two paper routes, and, and then I was a I call it a janitor at a dry cleaning business. But every day, Monday through Friday from five to 05:30, I'd go into the the local dry cleaner. I'd, I'd clean all the lint filters, vacuum the lobby, sweep the backroom, and give me $5 a week. I bought a motorcycle with that money and and, but the but the first lesson, the way I learned that lesson was a a lesson my dad taught me early, and that was, it involved raising some chickens.
And and and and he said, you know, I I wanted, I wanted a a leather jacket. Like, my, you know, idol at the time was Michael Jackson. Right? And, and I saw him on I was over at my cousin's house. MTV was a thing for the first time ever. Saw the was it either the beaded, or or I don't know what what video it was, Joe. Doesn't matter now, but but I wanted a leather jacket like Michael Jackson. And, and as dad, I said, how can I get this leather jacket? He's like, okay. You're gonna have to work for it. And, he's like, I tell you what. We're gonna buy a whole bunch of chickens. We're gonna raise the chickens. It was gonna be for a big party for the place that he worked at at the time.
And he's like, for every chicken that you keep alive until, you know, till butcher time, I'll give you a quarter, and then you can buy with it whatever you want. Well, I worked, got the chickens to got the chickens to butcher, got my money for it, and I said, dad, I want a I want a baseball glove. And he's like, well, you're gonna have to choose. You can either get a baseball glove or you're gonna get a leather jacket. What do you want? I don't think I had enough money for the leather jacket, but I did have enough money for the for the baseball glove. And and he's like, look, man. You earned the money, and and it's your money.
It when you earn the money, you get to choose how you spend it. That's right. Yeah. I bought my baseball glove, and it was a very, very important lesson. So so the lesson that I learned there was if I work hard, I get to make my choice. I get to make my own choices. Mhmm. And and then I get a greater appreciation for what I get after I put in all the work to get it. Great point.
[01:20:29] Unknown:
Great point. And I I I I kinda I I can relate to your story in in in some aspects because, you know, I grew up in in Brooklyn, New York. My blue collar family, my dad, my mom, after after she when she got pregnant with me, I'm I'm the oldest in my family. So, when she got pregnant with me, my dad told her, I don't want you working anymore. My mom was working in, in Manhattan. She was working at, I forget which corporate building she was working in down there. But, my dad was like, no. I don't want you to work anymore. I want you to just I want you to be a stay at home mom. I want you to take care of take care of the family. And my dad went out. My dad worked for the postal service for thirty two years, I think, or thirty three years or something like that.
And the only reason why he quit is because they made him retire because he had health some health concerns that were preventing him from actually doing his job. Because my dad wasn't just a letter carrier. I don't know if there's anything wrong with that, but my dad actually my my dad was a mail handler, so that was basically worked in the main post office in Manhattan, constantly busy, you know, driving the driving the forklift, driving the trucks, and moving all all the heavy bags of mail that came through and the packages and all that stuff. And, he he would work overnights, and then when he would get home in the morning, he would be he'd be home for, like, maybe two hours, and then he was out driving a yellow cab around Manhattan. Oh, that's right. Yeah. You know? And then when he got off of that, on his days off, he was driving, they had they don't really have him around too much now, but they had, like, car service. Now it's Uber and stuff like that. But they had, like, legitimate, you know, car service places.
And so he would drive drive car service, and he would do the yellow cab, he'd do the postal service, and he would do all kinds of stuff just to make sure that we had what we needed. We may not necessarily had everything we wanted, but we had everything that we needed, and that put a great sense of appreciation in myself and my sister later on. As as we grew up, you know, we understood how hard it is for you know, to to support a family, and how important it is to be there and to support your family, and to take care of your family. So it was so similar stories, you know, as far as background goes, you know, that working hard, that that demonstration of hard work carried over.
You know, when, when my kids were young, I worked, I worked for for New York City for, like I said, you know, twenty three years, but I I worked. I did overnights, almost like my dad. I worked overnights, and then I'd get out of work, I'd get home by seven in the morning, and at 07:30, I had the guy picking me up at my house, and we were on the way out, and we were cutting grass. We were doing landscaping work until three, 04:00 in the afternoon. Went home, ate something, went to sleep for a couple hours, got up, went right back to work in the city. Why? Because my kids needed things. I wanted my kids to have things. I wanted my kids to be comfortable and and have a nice home to live in and food in the refrigerator and all that stuff. My wife at the time she worked, but I she didn't I didn't want her working full time, you know, but she felt like she needed to do something. So she worked local. It was close to home. It was, like, even a two minute drive from the house.
You know, and so, you know, but growing up like that, and still, like in you, that need and that, that that desire and that want to provide for my family the best way I know how, and to teach my kids. Now my kids are carrying on the same thing. My son works his tail off, you know, and he has and he has disabilities, my son. He he he has, he has a number of things that that kind of slow him down a little bit, but he he kills himself to do his job. My daughter also, my daughter put herself through put herself through, grad school. She graduated recently with her MBA, and, you know, she's working she's working a great job. And she did all of that while raising her well, she's married, but but, you know, while her husband was working, she was raising her, my first granddaughter.
She was pregnant with the second one while she was putting herself through through grad school. And, you know, so I I I I, you know, I look at them and I say, you know what? I I failed them in so many ways, but at the same time, I am so incredibly proud of them for carrying on. You know what I'm saying? So it it's it's so it's Absolutely. It's a it's a great thing, and and I love that we have that kind of connection with similar backgrounds in that. So it's a it's, it's it's really important to to demonstrate to your to your children. Because now you have children, of course. Right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. And so they're they're they're learning from you. How how it is how it is to work hard, and why you work hard, and what those priorities and those important things are in the family.
You know? So that's that's great, brother. I I I appreciate that. That's a great story.
[01:25:17] Unknown:
Yeah. No. It's it's it's a wonderful thing. And and and, yeah, a lot of reason, Joe's Joe, the reason that I do a lot of the things that I actually do is because, you know, what kind of legacy do I wanna leave for my children? Yeah. You know, what what do I want them to do? You know, I what what kind do I want to set for for my children? And and I think that's unfortunately, there's a lot of people that just don't understand that. Yeah. You know? What's the example that you're going to set for for, you know, for for your kids? And, you know, when you think about your father and working at the post office and working as a cab driver, working two, three jobs, whatever it takes to to to do whatever it takes to to make things happen, the way that he wanted them to happen. And look at how that that whole idea ended up, you know, transferring in into your in the MO as you got older and had your own family and then it happens again. It's no wonder when people, you know, when when people start to think about, you know, are my actions really making a difference?
If you're a a a father or if you're a parent at all, your actions absolutely make a difference. That's right. You know, the greatest gift that you can be for your children is a good example. That's right. That's the greatest gift. That's right. You know? It's not it's not some video game console or tablet or or iPhone or or whatever. It's, you know, what kind of example am I setting for my children? Right. And it's not
[01:27:05] Unknown:
the woke it's not it's not the woke teacher at school trying to, indoctrinate them into something that and try to convince them that there's something that they're not.
[01:27:14] Unknown:
Absolutely not. Absolutely not. No. No. And the example that my kids, are are are going to to follow, at least I pray that the example that my kids are going to follow is is not now if it is, I I I would love if my, you know, children are, you know, are are surrounded by influencers that have the same values that I do and and see the world in the same way that I do and and everything. I think every well, I can't I can't say every parent, but but I I think we, as parents, need to to pray for things like that. Absolutely. Because, because, unfortunately, you know, we can't be the other way either. We can't be a helicopter parent and guard them from every single thing that is out there that could be an influence.
So so it's it's one of these things where it's it's so incredibly important that we provide the primary example for what we want our children to be and then pray and then put in a lot of effort to make sure that the other people that we know are gonna be around our children are some type of positive influence. Yeah. That's not, that's not the over woke teacher that's that's trying to trying to turn them into to something that they're not. No. Absolutely right. Yeah. Hey. Let's talk about Derate the Hate because that that first, that's a great name for a show. That's right.
[01:28:49] Unknown:
I like that. So how did the idea for that podcast, come to you? And, and, like, what's what's your mission behind it?
[01:28:57] Unknown:
Right. So so the mission statement for the D Rate to Hate podcast is is bettering the world one attitude at a time. It it is it is turned into originally, let me so we'll so we'll go back to the very beginning, Joe, and and and it's kind of a funny way to get to where I am now, but but I used to be a much more angry and toxic person. Mhmm. Right? A lot of that anger and toxicity manifested and in manifested itself in in stupid political arguments with people I didn't know and and about things that I didn't know enough about and and and things like that. Right?
The same thing so many people do, in our in our country or or in our world today is is engage in these keyboard warrior battles, with people they don't know about, subjects they they don't know enough about. And and what happens is it becomes a perpetual cycle. It becomes an exponential self perpetuating bunch of nonsense. Yeah. Well, I had the idea a while back, Joe, that I was gonna start a T shirt company and just start to enlighten people on how wrong they were about almost everything. You know? And so I started this failed understanding apparel. Excuse me.
Failed understanding apparel. The initials were, you know, f u. It was on, like, a constitution scroll on the front of the front of the shirt, had phrases on the back. Very poorly designed. I'm not a graphic designer. I did more to piss people off than I ever did to influence anybody in any way, but I used to get an unbelievable amount of hate mail, based, upon my T shirt designs. And and I quickly realized that well, I quickly realized a few different things. Right? Number one, I wasn't influencing anybody. I wasn't changing anybody's mind on anything. Right. Anything. Right. I was I was I was, I was sticking money into a venture that had, a a very flawed purpose, a very flawed premise.
And but I thought, you know what? I'm gonna give this you know, I'm gonna start a podcast and start a haters happy hour. And I'm going to point out how wrong these people are that are giving me all this grief and saying all these hateful things online and and and things like that. And I just woke up one day. I was trying to figure out a title for the podcast, and I was thinking about the podcast. And I'm like, am I going to accomplish anything with a haters happy hour? The online ecosystem that we all spend too much time in is just completely engulfed in hate.
[01:32:05] Unknown:
Yeah. I agree. And
[01:32:07] Unknown:
and pointing out or or giving further affirmation to people's hate is not gonna provide a solution to anything. And and I'm like I'm like, I'm sick and tired of being part of the problem. You know, I had already I had already spent several years trying to tame my own toxicity and tame down my own anger and and things like that, but this was still still, you know, kind of a sticking point for me. So instead, I decided, you know what? I wanna turn down the hate. You know? And and and, and then I get to thinking about it. I've been in the trucking industry for for, at that at that point, twenty one years. And I was like, you know, derate the hate sounds pretty good, and the concept of derate has a has has a couple purposes. Right? So people that are in the media business or in recording knows that if you derate something, if you derate a microphone or you derate a speaker, you're turning down whatever. Derate the gain on a on on a particular recording. You're gonna you're gonna turn down that that that particular track or whatever. Right? So so derate means to turn down in that sense. But then when you start thinking about the transportation industry and for people that are not in transportation and have dealt with diesel engines and things like that, they'll know that to derate an engine means to turn down its ability to operate on that level because if it continues to operate on that level, it's going to do more damage. Okay.
So so it had a dual purpose thing. Right? It's a podcast. It it's got to do with audio and recording and everything for turning down the hate. And then also just this whole hate mechanism, this whole hate environment, we need to turn it down before it actually destroys us as a country. So that's where derate the hate came from. It's a long answer to a short question, but, Joe, I think it's important because Oh, it's great. It is, it is absolutely one of the biggest problems we face in this country today I agree. Is,
[01:34:16] Unknown:
the hate that's in this online ecosystem of ours. Well and and if we don't turn it down, it's going to destroy us. I don't even think it's just online either. I think it's just in general. You know? It that's Yeah. There's there's so much tension and there's so many issues that we that we just cannot seem to come to an agreement on. I mean, the first and foremost thing is that, you know, we live in this country, that we're Americans, we need to come together, this is our government, and the the polarization between the two main ideologies in the country has just has just gotten so far.
And I'm gonna I'm gonna venture off into something real just for a quick second here, which is they say that the average life span of a of a republic is about 250, and that's where we are right now. And, if you if you look through history and you look at probably the the the greatest republic that ever existed was Rome, Rome had very, very similar problems within itself at the time of its collapse. Alright. Rome had wide open borders, which we've had. Thank God we don't have them now. I think we got I think God gave us a little bit of a reprieve, but you had wide open borders. They had their military spread throughout the entire world, or the known world at the time.
They had incredibly high taxation, incredibly high regulation, unchecked and unfettered immigration, Very, very similar things. I mean, I can go down the whole checklist, but very, very similar to the things that the that The United States is going through, this American Union is going through. I don't know how, and I I hate to say it sound fatalistic, I don't know how much longer the country has as a as a as a union. I think what's gonna end up happening is at some point, because of the polarization, because of the far extremes that are that are coming through. I mean, the left has become totally unhinged.
They have embraced the far far left. You're talking communism, socialism. You have, back in my hometown, you have, you know, the Democratic nominee for for mayor in in New York City is an outright avowed communist. Talking about I don't know if you've heard about this one, but but talking about making grocery stores in the city city owned and operated. Well, there go your bread lines, you know, and just socializing every aspect of society. And then you have the invasion that came in through the southern border right through a lot of it where I am right here. And then you see these riots break out, where you see these these these people that are standing on top of cars, burning buildings, burning cars, and waving foreign flags, and that's the left.
That's what the left is looking for. That's what they want. So I I I I and and the differences between the two, I mean, I I don't think there really is a Republican party anymore. I think it's like it's all one big party. I think that what president Trump has carved out with the MAGA movement, I think it's fantastic, and I think it's great, and and I and I would hope that it's going to take a deeper root, and and really, you know, make some positive change here. But I'm not a 100% hopeful. I'm not positive that that's really gonna happen. I personally see that because of all the polarization, because of all the problems that this country has, it has gotten so big, so massive, I don't think it can work anymore at the way it works. That's why I have this flag here behind me, and that's why I have this flag here behind me. Because I really think that the solution that's gonna end up coming about is that there is gonna be a breakup of the union. I think states are gonna kinda branch off on their own and become and I'm gonna use a very deadly word. I don't mean it in the context that you might think, but they're gonna break off into these little confederacies, and they're gonna build up, you know, a mutual compact to take care of themselves. Right now, as it stands, there are 25 states in this union that have, that have, secession legislation working its way through the legislative process.
25. And not not all red states, you know, the red and blue states. New York has there are some counties in New York that wanna secede and go up into Canada and become part of Canada. You have California is actually close is the closest state right now to declaring its independence from the union. Texas, you know, right behind it. I'm part of an organization called the Texas Nationalist Movement that we're working through the legislative process to declare Texas independence. And we're very close. 60% of Texas poll are in favor of it. So if this actually became a ballot measure, Texas might actually be on the right track to lead the but that's what all this polarization that we're experiencing is leading to, actual discussions on these issues. And it's a it's it's a difficult time to to to think. It's a scary time in a lot of ways, but it's a hopeful time too. Hopefully, I I don't know why I'm going on this rant. Just shut me up, Will. Just say joke. Okay? Whatever.
It's there there are it's it's inevitable that that there's gonna be some major changes coming through here, through this country, which direction they're gonna go. God, I hope it's not gonna be to the far left. Mhmm. You know, and of course, you don't wanna go to the extreme right either because there's issues with that too. K. You know, you want balance, you want stability. I'm trying to look at the right words. You want the balance and stability, you want the government small enough and doesn't affect your everyday life. Like, for example, when I use all the time is why is it important for the government to regulate how much water is in my toilet?
[01:40:12] Unknown:
Right. You know? No. You you make you make a lot of incredible points, Joe, and and I just I I will say this because I wanna inject some hope into this conversation. And and and and it and I don't mean that you're you're you're, you're you're bringing anybody down and and certainly not me. But but one one thing I do wanna say is well, first of all, I don't wanna shut you up because I'm just here I'm here to to listen as much as I am to talk. And, and I and I that's that is always a a big thing for me is the idea that we, we need to listen or than than than we talk, in in most cases.
I will say this, and I think Abraham Lincoln said it best, but, you know, a house divided cannot stand. Mhmm. And and the the reality is this, is I love this country. I think this is the greatest country that that God ever, had a part in in putting together. I think this country was was created and and has stood, based on divine providence more than anything. I agree. You know, the reality, of the thing is is I don't wanna see The United States Of America break up. I think, I think we I think it would be an absolute disaster, in most respects for most of the people of this country.
You know? It's the the The United States Of America is not our government. That's correct. The United States Of America is we the people. It's we the people, Joe. And and the reality is if we break apart into several call them, you know, independent nations, confederacies, whatever you wanna call them, unfortunately, that will not end well for anybody. Not your kids, not my kids, not your grandkids, not the people of Texas, California, Illinois, Michigan, Minnesota. It's going to be an absolute disaster. There's also a couple other things that I wanna talk about because the reality is is polarization is and will remain the one problem. Toxic polarization is and will remain the one problem that ensures all other problems do not get solved. Agree. Okay? Now there are a lot of people out there on both sides of the political spectrum that have a vested interest in keeping us, we the people, divided. Mhmm. It's a horrific thing, but it's an absolute fact. Agreed. But we are not, as a people, nearly as divided as the people in the media or the people in our politics would have you believe.
You know? People need to understand that the solution to this problem is in the conversation. Mhmm. You talked about shutting you up, Joe, because you were going on a rant. This is not about shutting anybody up. It's about having the conversation. Well, I just meant that in the context to get back to you. This is about you. No. That's that is absolutely alright. Like I said, one of my favorite things about the business that I'm in, Joe, is my ability to listen to people. Whether I agree on a little bit or nothing at all, whether I agree with a lot or nothing at all, it's always about listening. Listening with the intent to understand, not to respond.
I want everybody that's listening to the Joe Russo right now to understand that it is so important for us to have conversations with people we disagree with, but have those conversations not with the intent to change their mind on anything,
[01:43:53] Unknown:
but with the intent to understand how they got to where they are. Exactly. And that's why every show I end at and if you I don't know if you've heard it or not, but every show I end, I end up with keep talking. You have to keep talking. That's the thing. And just to go back too, just to say this for a fact. Look, I love this country. I I think this is the greatest country in the world. As a matter of fact, on Sundays, I do a Bible study show, and I'm I'm in a series right now on America's Christian heritage. Mhmm. And I started well, I started before I started getting into specifically American Christian America's Christian heritage, from the revolutionary period going forward, I started off back in biblical, politics in the Bible, and then the Christian's Bill of Rights.
And and then I went to, talked a little bit about, Governor Bradford and the whole purpose of coming here, you know, on the Mayflower, and and the the challenges that they faced, and the misconceptions that they that that people are taught today in school about it. And then I'm going into, on Sundays, the all of these, starting with, Lexington and Concord, going back to historians that were actually current to the day, and going back to their telling of the stories, because obviously they're closer to it, they have a much a better understanding of what was going on at the time.
And, they don't have they didn't have a political bias or a spin to it. They just told you the facts of what was going on. And to go back to those things and then to read the letters, and I and I share a lot of this information on the bible studies, the the the spiritual heritage that this country has because of our founding generation. The founding generation is always we're always told, oh, they were deists, they were they were atheists, they were agnostics. That is absolutely not true. Absolutely not true. George Washington was baptized by a Baptist pastor named John Gano in the Hudson River, and if you try to find that information anywhere in secular history, all you're gonna find it's a myth, it's not true. Well, no, it's not. It was witnessed by 40 people including the pastor's children, and it was documented, you know, very extensively in, in in the church records in in New York.
Mhmm. So our country has and and I was gonna tie it all together with this. Our country has a spiritual heritage. The the the the way that we're and and the reason why we're struggling the way we are is because we have turned our back on a lot of that spiritual heritage. We have drifted so far away from God. We have drifted so far away from the word of God. We we have tried to reform this country into a purely agnostic, or secular, or even atheistic country, because we wanna be like Europe, which is so lost in that in that regard at this point. It it's I don't Right. You know, it's terrible.
Until we get back to where we should be in in in our relationship with God and the word of God, we're gonna have problems. We're gonna have struggles because God's gonna withdraw his blessings. The Bible's clear on that. The Bible talks about it in, in reference of course to the nation of Israel, but the but the application is there. You know, at some point, you know, the the alien is gonna come in and is going to start taking your jobs, and taking your food, and taking your property, and taking all your stuff, and then why? Why? Because you are living in rebellion to God. That's that's very important lesson for us, especially as as Christians. We we need to look at that and see that. You know, unless unless America turns itself back to God, we're gonna continue to have these kind of problems.
And, I mean God I hope, you know, I'm I'm very I'm very comforted when I see this generation growing up more conservative, or embracing conservatism more than they do the liberal mindset. I am very encouraged when I see on, on YouTube and other places like that where, you have these auditoriums of of of young people coming forward to an altar call at a church service, or or or a Christian rally, or something along those lines. I am so encouraged by that. That is such a blessing to see.
[01:48:13] Unknown:
You know? It is.
[01:48:14] Unknown:
So spiritually, you know, there needs to be a a revival in this country. I think that we can have one. I I disagree with some there are some Christians out there that say, well, you know, revivals are done. There's there's, you know, it's not gonna be I I don't think that's the case. It might be there might not be those large scale like like Whitfield, you know, revivals around the country like like back in those days, but they're individual revivals. You know, the individual coming back to Christ, and that individual going to somebody else, and that catching on to the somebody else, and then traveling that way. I could see that taking place as a, as as a type of revival for sure.
And I and I and I see that progressively going through, and I use that word carefully, progressively going through this generation, and it's it's incredibly encouraging. But socio politically, I don't know. I I I would like to I would like to see the country survive in another two hundred fifty, three hundred, four hundred years, you know. But that's all up to the Lord, you know. It's it's it's in his hands. It's it's whatever he decides is best for us, and we have to accept that and and put our faith and trust in that.
[01:49:26] Unknown:
That's right. God has a plan, Joe, and and and I firmly believe that. And and, you know, when I go to church on Sundays and and I and I I hear the the the number of people over the week that said yes to Jesus Christ as their lord and savior, and and, yes, they are going to follow and and things like that. I mean, it it is it is very encouraging, and and you always wish it could be more. Right? Yeah. You you always wish it could be more. You know, going back to the founders and and things like that and and people with with their revisionist history and and trying to say that people were, you know, atheists or or or agnostics and and things like that. Even those that were, if if you look hard enough and and and it's not even that hard. But if you look if you look or or take the time to look, you'll you'll find or or they will find that that those that that did not necessarily believe in, a a Jesus Christ as the Messiah.
They they did understand that there was a a spiritual component and some kind of divine providence Yes. That that played a part in, the founding of our country and the way that we got through certain things and different events. And if you look back to the history of The United States Of America, there are some very defined and and forgive me. I can't think of them at the moment. But there are there, I mean, there are books out there that talk about certain events that that are just I mean, Washington crossing the Delaware and able being able to do the one thing you know, that particular event,
[01:51:08] Unknown:
the way that he did, was was one example. Right? And and Well, I I have one for you. I can give you right now very, very quickly. We talked I talked about it last week. When, when when the when the American, the colonial military had to leave, had to evacuate Brooklyn Heights, there was no way that they were gonna be able to do that because of the the British blockade. And, but of course, interestingly, that night, a very thick fog rolled in unexpectedly, which gave them enough cover to get them get the entire army off of Brooklyn Heights into Manhattan Island without the British even seeing them. And then in the and then in the morning, the an an unusual low tide to where the British actually had to lift, had to raise anchor, set sail, and and leave and get out of cannon range because the tide was getting so low that they were gonna be grounded.
Right. So so, I mean and who controls the weather? Who controls the tides? Who controls all those things?
[01:52:10] Unknown:
Yeah. Well, in that in that that one particular instance, I I mean, there were a number of things like that Yeah. That changed the course of the war. Yes. Right? And and and there were other ones during the civil war Mhmm. And and and or other examples that that took place during the civil war. And and and then there's just been a number of different things. Sure. And we could go on and on about that, but the importance for for people, to to understand. And and one thing that I want people to understand, Joe, that that is that is so hugely important when we think about this country and the importance of keeping this country, together, right, is is don't ever believe that any one particular group like like, you know, we we often get caught in when we talk about politics, we get caught in these traps of saying, well, the right does this or the left does that or or, you know, the right believes this or the right believes that. No group out there, Joe, is a monolith. Of course not. They're just not. Yeah. And and people get caught up and pretend to believe, you know, the left will come out with an article and and and say, well, this this this and this is is is happening because the right has made it so.
You know? And I'm sitting back here as a Christian conservative thinking, I don't know one Christian conservative who believes that what you just said is an actual stance coming from the right. You know? And and I'm sure that well, I'm not not I'm sure. I I'm absolutely positive that there are people on the left who say the same things that that different right political pundits say about the left. Yeah. Yeah. You know? For sure. The reality is if we do not you know, another thing, that that Lincoln said that was so so incredibly important. You know? He says, I do not like that man. I must get to know him better. Mhmm. You know? If we are going to stand as a country and we are going to fight back against this toxic, partisan polarization, we must have more conversations. I like the fact that you say, keep talking.
You must keep talking because if we're talking, we're not fighting. That's right. You know? I love the idea of conservatism. I love The United States Of America. I do not wanna see it broken apart because of my kids, your kids, your grandkids. It will not end well, so we need to lay down our swords, keep our mouths, and and our our ears open, our mouths only speaking with when we when we absolutely need clarification, understand how people came to believe what they believe, and we will get a lot further than we will if we start to break apart. I agree. Hey. We're at the 09:00 hour. Do you wanna continue on? Or I I got a few more minutes, brother, if you do. I mean, I I'm,
[01:55:08] Unknown:
I, yeah, I I can go for for just a little bit longer and Okay. Yeah. I just wanted Yeah. I I I'm cool. Alright. Cool. I I just wanted to touch on some some aspects of your faith and your family. You know, as a Christian husband, as a as a as a Christian dad, how did how did those, personal roles shape how you show up in in in work of, of a national unity? We kinda touched on that a little bit here, but, the formal question.
[01:55:33] Unknown:
So I I've I've had a a very, I will say, tricky, relationship with God and and my Christian faith Who has it? For for a long time. Right? And and, you know, I I think, I think one of the, one of the the relationship things on some of the social media platforms says it's complicated. Well, for a lot of my life, Joe, it was very complicated. And and and, you know, I was born a Christian. I was baptized. And and and throughout my life, there were periods of time where I'm like, there is no way there could be a God because if there is, he hates me so bad that that I I I have such a hard time believing that that somebody or some entity that's supposed to love me hates me bad enough for me to feel the way that I feel all the time. I know you mean. And and, so I I I will tell you that that was was very tough.
And and for a long time, I I had to work through that. And, and and there were a number of different things that happened over the course of my life. We we talked about divine providence and its its role in in of this country and and in the survival of this country. But I will tell you, Joe, that there have been a couple things that have actually happened in my life that could not have happened without divine providence. Now with with that being said, I still fought tooth and nail to say there can't be a god. There can't be, this this guy that died on a cross for my sins and washed away my sins and and things like that. But but he never gave up on me. Mhmm. And and, and and now as a as a husband, and and a father and and seeing the just the beauty of, of God and God's planet and God's plan and and how, the the the familial structure that he built with a man and a woman and and how children, you know, come from that and and and everything. So how does that show up for me, or how do I show up for him?
Again, I go back to, you know, being a good husband, being a good father Amen. Countryman, doing everything that I can do to to try and, serve my country again, by by working with braver angels and and trying to to mend our, our our our fabric, the fabric of our nation that that so many people have torn apart. I think it's I think it's a duty. I think God has put me here. So how do I show up? I show up every day, Joe, to try and bring people together when there's too many people out there trying to tear us apart. That's beautiful, man. That that's a great way to put it. I appreciate that. Thank you. That's awesome.
[01:58:49] Unknown:
Where do you see, Durate the Hate heading in the next few years?
[01:58:54] Unknown:
Well, if the past several years has has been any indication, it's gonna keep on growing. I I mean, we we we, we aren't gonna run out of people anytime soon that are are trying to tear us apart, so we've got a long long and hard road ahead of us. But, Braver Angels has has been gracious enough to to bring me on as as part of their full time staff. I've been a volunteer leader with the organization now for That's awesome. For, for quite a long time. And and, and and but just volunteered a lot of my time, to that organization because, because we because we were so mission aligned.
And, and and now I've got an opportunity to to do this as my full time profession. I'm I'm still doing the D Rate the Hate podcast. So so I I anticipate the D rate the eight podcast to continue to grow at a at a pretty good clip, as it as it has been. And, more than anything, growth doesn't matter to me nearly as much as, mission accomplishment. And, and and the mission, Joe, is to to keep our country together, to show people that we are better together. There's a better way to engage. We don't have to sacrifice our principles or who we are to, to to do this. It's about providing the right message at the time, to the right people. And, and, so, yeah, what what's gonna happen with derate over the derate the hate, over the next couple years, It's gonna continue to grow, and we're gonna we're gonna win, and we're gonna keep fighting until we do win. Alright. Outstanding. And we'll make sure that we
[02:00:31] Unknown:
push you along the way too. We're gonna do the best we can here. And, alright. So where can the audience go to follow your work, listen to the podcast, learn about Braver Angels?
[02:00:41] Unknown:
So to learn more about me personally, dratethehate.com or wilkesworld.com. That's where you can find a lot of my personal work and the Derate the Hate podcast. There are also links there on dratethehate.com to get to braverangels.org. Braverangels.org is where you're gonna find out more about America's largest cross partisan grassroots organization working to mend our partisan divide, right, about about civic renewal and how we can work together as citizens to, to bridge these partisan divides. So braverangels.org is, is where everybody where I would like everybody to go get involved, get involved in this movement.
And, if you wanna go subscribe to the D Rate the Hate podcast, that's a bonus. Dratethehate.com.
[02:01:34] Unknown:
Will do. And, I think I think we have Braver Angels as the link, in the show notes for you, but I'll double check that. And if it's not, I'll I'll add it to it. No problem.
[02:01:44] Unknown:
Yeah. Braverangels.org.
[02:01:46] Unknown:
Alright. Well, Wilk, thank you so much for being with us tonight. I know you wanna get going, so we're we're gonna let you go. I got another maybe twenty minutes to go for the show. I gotta do my closing and all my shout outs and all that stuff. So, again, thank you so much, man. I love the conversation. I didn't get to half of the questions that I have for you. You know, we we just kinda rambled. So that that was great though. I loved it. I appreciate it. And if you're interested, you wanna come back on again, let me know. And, we'll carve out a day for you where we can do it. And, we'll give you the love to, brother. The show for just just, just the two of us. No other guests will do that. Alright. Yeah. That sounds great, man. Anytime. Just, just hit me up. Let me know, and, we'll do her again. Will do. I will do that. Alright, folks. Wilk Wilkerson, thank you so much, brother. You have a great night. God bless you. And, hey, check out the, the Bible study show Sunday.
God bless you, man. You too. Take care, Joe. God bless. Talk to you soon. Alright, folks. What we're gonna do here is we're gonna take a short, short break, and then when we come back from the break, we'll do a quick run through all the announcements and all that stuff and, wrap up the show. Folks, this is a live show Monday, Wednesday, Friday, or just weeknights 7PM central time. Don't forget Saturday show 3PM central. We'll be talking I'm sorry, 12:00 central. We'll be talking about crypto and, the wrap up of crypto week and all some some great new predictions of, some some great purchases you need to be looking at very carefully. And then also Sunday's Bible study show at 6PM central time. Alright, folks. So, back in, like, two minutes. Alright?
Again, the Jarew Show. Like, subscribe, share with your friends, your family, and your followers. We'll be back right after this. Stay with us. Alrighty folks. Welcome back to the Joe Root Show. Hour number two in the books. Starting hour number three. Not gonna be a full hour though, I promise you that. I am tired. I got the kids here in the studio with me at the moment and they are hungry, they're gonna wanna eat. Gotta cook for them, gotta get something to myself too. Alright. Wilkerson, what do you think folks? Let me know, drop comments down below, email us [email protected] or go to the website joeroos.com and use the contact form, either way.
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Can try to refresh it, but I don't think it'll work. Let's try. Alright. Is that any better? We'll see. Alright. Let's see what else we got. So programming announcements, email list, let's do that. Let's try that out. Get yourself on the mailing list and, help us to, keep in contact with you guys. That's the important thing. Alright. Again, we're not gonna sell your information out. It's not gonna go anywhere. We're not sharing your information with anybody. It stays all here with us locally, and, you're not gonna get spammed. We're not gonna sell you anything. We're just going to, let you guys know any changes to our schedules.
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Click on that contact section. Send us over any comments and questions you have. And folks, listen, make Texas independent again. Go podcasting. Keep a steady stride and keep talking. Good night folks. Goodbye. To you. Keep smiling until where. Who cares about the clouds that we're together.
[02:13:57] Unknown:
Just sing a song and bring the sunny weather. Happy trails to you.
Alright. Hey, folks. This is Joe Roos. It is nineteen ten hours on sun on Tuesday, Wednesday. Oh my goodness. 07/20/2025, and we are transmitted to you live from the asylum studios deep in the bowels of Southwest Texas and doing the best we can to bring you the best quality talk radio we could muster without all the bluster. Welcome to the Joe Rouge Show. I am so tired. I don't even know what day it is. Oh, my lord. What a mess. Alright, folks. It is great to be with you again here on Wednesday. Let's make sure we get that clear. Wednesday, July 23.
What a start to the show. Alright. Well, folks, I, wasn't with you guys yesterday, as you know. We're back on our Monday, Wednesday, Friday schedule. It's something I need to get used to because I honestly thought it was Tuesday. And I've been like that all day, you know, I've been going around all day long today, not knowing what day of the week it was. I had one of my, one of my colleagues, reminded me gently that we had a task that we normally do on Wednesday afternoons, and I was like, is today Wednesday? Holy cow.
I didn't even realize it. So, my my apologies, but but that's a live show. We we make our little mistakes. We have to, kinda move on from that and just, like, pretend it didn't happen. Right? Just gonna pretend it didn't happen. Alright. Well, so our we have our guest waiting for us in the waiting room right now. So let me, let me kinda move my way through the opening here of the show and do some some of the usual housekeeping we do. So if you would head over to our website, joeroos.com. That's joeroos.com. And when you get over there, open up that web form that you see under the contact section and send us over a message. Let us know whatever it is that's on your heart and mind, any questions, comments, cares, or concerns that you might have. If you have any suggestions for for topics you'd like to discuss or guests that you'd like us to try to get, let us know.
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Alright. Let's see one more. Let's, let's go this one. So folks, as you know, we have our affiliate link with the alexjonesstore.com. And if you use our link right up there on the page right now, alex b, alexjonesstore.com/joe, you can get yourself some of the great vitamins, supplements, apparel, and gear you can possibly imagine. And, as you know, as always, I have my my ultra methylene blue right here that we started sipping on before the show. Oh, that's great. And then keep on sipping through it throughout the show. I did not use ice this time because somebody told me that they could hear the ice clinking in the background and was distracting. So I had no ice, so I'm drinking cool naphthalene blue. So great stuff though. Head over to the alex jones store dot com slash joe. Get yourself a bottle.
They're running a two for one deal right now. So, you buy one bottle, you get one free. So check them out. Great deals on the alexjonesstore.com/joe. And remember, every purchase that you make, 10% of your purchase comes right back here to the show and helps us to fund all this organized disorder that we have. Alright. Well, with all of that out of the way, we'll save the rest for later. Our first guest tonight is a board certified family physician and an associate certified coach with the International Coaching Federation. With decades of experience in medicine and years spent walking alongside people in recovery, ministry, and in leadership, he's developed a rare perspective, one that blends, medical expertise with deep listening, powerful questions, and a knack for helping people find what's missing, not just in their careers, but in their lives.
From helping others navigate imposter syndrome and identity loss to exploring core values, neuroscience, and the path to true contentment, Jim Hyde is a coach who understands that fulfillment doesn't come from a job or from retirement. It comes from finally finding you. So folks, Joe Root's audience, I'd like to welcome Jim Hyde to the Joe Root show. Jim, are you out there? And there he is. Good evening. Alright. Jim, it's great to have you here. We're really honored to have you here tonight. So, this is a real be a real treat for our audience. You know, I like to bring a lot I like to bring variety to the audience with our guest segments, and and this is something that we have not really gone down a road with. So, so we're really looking forward to getting into the conversation for tonight.
But just to warm you up, just gonna ask you as just one question to warm you up. Usually, I have, like, three or four, like, the bullpen, you know, tosses, but Yeah. Just just gonna do one tonight. So what's something most people don't know about you but should?
[00:07:57] Unknown:
Wow. Don't know about me but should, well, I I think you hit a lot of the highlights, but, I also, I enjoy wine so much that I decided to start growing Tempranillo and, making my own port. Wow.
[00:08:16] Unknown:
See you see that see this is a this is a message to our producer, Angela, or or anonymous Angela. Because she, you know, we we we speak throughout the course of the day, and and we come up with, you know, ideas, and you know, how can we break the ice with with guests and so on and so forth. So we come up with these questions, and one of the questions is, that we came up with. So what's your go to beverage to help you unwind at the end of the day? And so far, everybody that we've interviewed says, just water. Alright?
If I would have asked you that, you could have told me wine, that would have been great. There you go. You see, note to Angela, we we we're gonna keep the question in there. Alright. Alright. So port wine, I love port wine by the way. I make I make a fantastic port wine vanilla ice cream sundae. Mhmm. It is absolutely amazing. Candied cashews, fresh fresh whipped cream. Oh, it's it comes out so good. I I and and fresh homemade caramel syrup. I I I sauce. I never never will ever share my recipe with anybody, so don't ask. But I love using a good port with that. It just tops it perfectly. And it's a layered one, so it's ice cream, the port, some cream, whipped cream, and the caramel, and the and the and the cashews, and you just stack it, stack it, stack it. It's a nice big use a Sounds great. Use a glass like this to to make it. So Yeah. So this is good.
So that's great. So you'd so you so you like to drink your wine. I'm a bourbon guy myself. I I like to, I don't I don't I don't do it on the week during the week too much because the job and, you know, and I wanna be sober when I'm doing when I'm doing the show. So, and since I do the show right after my regular job, I can't unwind with that. So and then by the time the show is done, it's too late, and you know how it is. So, so bourbon's my thing. I like so I'll I'll sit out in the in in the backyard with a with a nice bourbon, a nice cigar, or something like that, and just relax on a weekend. So but that's good stuff. That's really, really good stuff. Now, you you've been a family physician for decades, but you started but you started coaching in 02/2018. What what led you into that type of a shift?
[00:10:29] Unknown:
You know, one of my medical organizations was saying, hey. We need docs to coach for two reasons. Docs are getting burnt out, and patients you should try and coach with your patients rather than telling them what to do. And I think partly that, but partly the older gentleman I cared for who would come in and they were, like, biding their time. They're like, yeah. You know, I just I just need to work another three, four years, and then I can retire. And they seem to hate the job. And then I see them after retirement, and they were like, oh, man. I'm so bored. You know? I I hate retirement. I really miss the job. And and and as a doc, I couldn't say this, but as a coach, I can kind of poke at people and say, well, so you didn't like the job. You don't like retirement. Let me let me give you a different perspective. Maybe it wasn't the job. Maybe it's not retirement. Maybe it's you you don't like. Oh, that's a little point to Let's help you figure out the new you that you do like, and you can bring that to work. You can bring that to volunteerism. You can bring that to retirement and find fulfillment. Do you find that when you're that direct with somebody, though, that you kinda turn them off a little bit?
Most of the time, no. You know? It's kinda like it's it there's that awkward silence, and then they're like, okay. Yeah.
[00:11:51] Unknown:
You think think it's more of them trying to figure out if you were being serious or not?
[00:11:56] Unknown:
Well, it's it's a little tongue in cheek, but it's a little it's, you know, most what do they say? Most jokes are there's a little bit of truth there? Oh, yes. Yeah. I I say that all the time, because I I am noted for my sarcasm.
[00:12:09] Unknown:
And and and people don't understand that, yeah, I'm I'm serious. You know, I'm saying with a smile, but I'm being serious here, because there because there is an element of truth behind every joke, and every insult, and every yeah. So so Yeah. I I got you. I totally got you. Now, one of the things that you've said is that that's what's missing in many people's lives is them. Alright. Now now what what exactly do you mean by that?
[00:12:33] Unknown:
Well, I think that people are expecting something to bring them fulfillment, joy, contentment, and they're looking for it outside of themselves. And they're wondering why it's not there. And it it's not there because it's not out there. It's inside.
[00:12:55] Unknown:
Now, you also work with, you work with pastors. You work with other doctors and and people in recovery. Yeah. What are some of the patterns that you see in people when they when they come to face big life transitions?
[00:13:10] Unknown:
Well, they, you know, they they they want them to be they don't want to face them, and then they want them to be over with. It's kinda like moving, you know, if you're packing for a a move. Initially, you don't wanna pack, and then you're packing, and then you just want it to be done and wanna, like, throw out half the stuff because you don't wanna pack it. And you you're tired of the you're tired of the waiting, and you want it to have happened. I think major life transitions are a lot like that. You you kind of anticipate it, then you're in the midst of it, and then you're you're so much in the midst of it, you want it to be done, and you're ready to maybe jump jump off before it's ready, you know, move into the house when it's only half built sort of sort of. So, it takes some it takes some help from the outside to realize that this transition is needs some planning, and it needs to happen slowly. And the the, the in between phase is gonna be awkward.
[00:14:21] Unknown:
I can imagine that. And now, one one of the things that that gets me is that you work with pastors. Now I I come from a background, I'm a I'm a born again Christian. So, I've I've served in church. I I've worked with, I I've I've been an associate pastor of a church. I've I've, you know, taught Sunday school lessons. I've I've filled the pulpit from time to time, when when the pastor would ask me to do so. And, so when when you when you say what are some of the transitions that you see someone in the ministry, making that would would that would set them back or hold them back or or give them some some reason for or or cause them some kind of a stress that they would not be able to process enough where they could, where they would some, come to someone like yourself and and, and seek some kind of co counseling or or coaching.
[00:15:17] Unknown:
Yeah. I think a lot of that, again, is is that it's that, it's that church growth. You know? They've been a small church pastor, and they need their their outgoing they're outgrowing their building. They're outgrowing their style. They're outgrowing something. Or a lot of times, it's also that transition of, well, the senior pastor is moving on or needs to move on because the church is going in a different direction than the pastor's going. And so you've got the team that's like, okay. What do we how do we do this? How do we navigate, how do we navigate navigate a major change without losing most of our congregants?
[00:16:08] Unknown:
Yeah. The, and I I can speak to that too because I the the church that I associate, the that I was, APN, It's easier to abbreviate. We went through something like that. Our senior pastor was very, very sick, and, that's when they had asked me to step in as an associate pastor just to kinda help them and and work the church through, that particular transition period until they found a permanent senior pastor. I had really had no interest in in doing that myself. I was happy in the role that I was in, and, I didn't feel like I was being called to do more than what I was doing. So, so I I saw that the the stress and the strain that it put on people, to go through those transitions.
And I would imagine though that, that that similarly, it would affect people in the medical profession as well. Your practice is changing, it's growing, it's evolving, you know, or or it could be going the other way. You could be losing people and not understanding why. And, so so do you have any examples of of any type of coaching that you would give someone in in especially in the medical profession. I right now, I work in a nursing facility, so I I'm kind of seeing that from time to time. And, I have a lot of friends who are in the medical profession and nursing and so on and so forth. Very, very stressful work, very tiresome work.
You never seem to get a break. You're always learning. You're always going through some kind of a training. Right. So so can you give us some ideas of of what type of scenarios you've come across that or if you can share something like that? Sure. Yeah. I mean, you know,
[00:17:42] Unknown:
oftentimes, it is like, you know, the transition of someone coming out of training and then their first job and trying to figure out what are the what are the boundaries. You know? Where where do I fit in with this group? And yet, you know, how do I how do I become my own self, and how do I fit in? How do I be authentic and a team player? And, also, you know, when you're first there, it's it's like you're in that dating phase. You're you're professional, but you're kinda dating this this group. Do I wanna stay with this group or not? And so a lot of times, there's there's a lot of questions need to be asked. Where do you wanna go?
Where do, you know, where do you see yourself in three years? Where do you see yourself in five years? And is you know, I think oftentimes people wanna jump ship if they don't think that this is leading where they think they want to go in three to five years. And so what I try and do is, okay. How do we how can we make this into the type of experience that turns you into the, maybe not the location that you wanna be, but turns you into the doc, the professional that you wanna be three years down the road.
[00:19:09] Unknown:
I see. I got you. One of the things that I came across when I was going over your profile and and your background is, you talk about imposter syndrome. So I'm I'm I'm very curious about that. I've heard of it. I don't really know much about it. So I'm wondering, can you explain to us what exactly imposter syndrome is?
[00:19:27] Unknown:
Yeah. So imposter syndrome has lots of, it's been described like a shadow. It looks a lot like you. It moves like you. It follows you, but it's not really you. And it is it's that experience that you you're you're gonna be found out. Someone's gonna find out x and know that I don't belong here. And, you know, it's kinda showed up in a really interesting way when I first started working. I'm starting residency. I've been out of med school a week, week and a half. And it was funny. I heard this. I'm writing a note, and I hear this doctor so and so, doctor so and so, and I'm thinking, wow. This doctor is not paying attention. And I I I don't know. I I stopped writing, and I started listening. And doctor Hyde, doctor Hyde, and I'm like, that name rings a bell. That name rings a bell. Oh, that's me. Oh, crap.
And I, so I, you know, I dealt with whatever was necessary. I'm like, you know, I'm still not used to that title. You know, you can call me Jim, and the nurse was like, no. I can't call you Jim. And I realized that she was kinda calling me out on imposter syndrome because I didn't I didn't see myself as a doctor. I was still a medical student or still in training. No. I was I was a doctor. And kinda what she was saying was, no. I can't call you Jim. I'm gonna call you doctor Hyde because doctor Hyde is who all these people around you need to be here.
They're sick patients. They're nurses that need orders from you. They're patients that need your care. Right. I'm gonna call you doctor Hyde because that's what they need.
[00:21:20] Unknown:
Well, that makes and that makes total sense. Actually, now you you explain it that way. That makes total sense. And I I guess everybody kinda goes through that in some way, shape, or form, because, when my own circumstances, when I stepped up as the associate pastor and they started calling me pastor, I was like, no, it's just Joe. I'm just I'm just, you know. I'm just I'm just filling the pulpit. I'm not really a pastor. Yeah. Exactly. And and and but the senior pastor actually told me pulled me to the side, said something very similar to what you just said, that the nurse said to you. No. They have to call you that. They have to acknowledge the fact that you are in a leadership position here. And, and and whether you whether you think so or not, you're the guy.
You know? So so, yeah, I guess I can understand that. But so why do you think that so many high functioning people struggle with that, though?
[00:22:09] Unknown:
Yeah. We are so Mark Twain, I don't know. Someone was telling me recently some some author of, you know, that ilk was we are all insecure. We're all insecure. Mhmm. I think we all have we all know ourselves way better than anyone else does. We know our dark side, our failings way better than anyone else does, and we just assume that that's gonna that's not gonna stay a secret, and and everyone's gonna find out. So yeah, so it's just a really common thing. I mean, I read a book about a he's a surgeon. He was a Green Beret, married to a supermodel, blah blah blah.
And when someone got to know him, he was just like, I am so insecure about everything every day. I just I have to get up and kinda grit my way through the day. Wow. And you're looking at him going, he's got everything. What does he need to be insecure about? Yeah. That that's
[00:23:21] Unknown:
I I guess, you know, that that's just, I guess something I struggle with too. It's like, at one point, I was going through a a really nasty period of time here, and I was so depressed and so down. And I had everybody else sitting in there pointing out, oh, you got this, you got that, you got this, you got that, you got why are you so well, I don't know. You know, you think about it. I really don't know. And and it's, I guess it's I guess it's just something that, you know, we hold ourselves to such a high standard or high expectation of where we should be, you know, given our backgrounds and so on and so forth. And when we see these little things pop up, we tend to make them much bigger than what they are. And I guess that really is insecurity.
[00:24:03] Unknown:
Yeah. I mean, Lady Gaga, I live for the applause. You know, the way I way I hear that song is as soon as the applause is over, she's gotta do something to bring more applause because it's only during the applause that she really
[00:24:18] Unknown:
I gotcha. Feels
[00:24:19] Unknown:
fulfilled.
[00:24:22] Unknown:
So one of your specialties is, helping people identify their their, their values, their core values Yeah. And, and their and their and their natural talents. What happens when when when those particular things, the talents and the core values are out of alignment?
[00:24:40] Unknown:
Yeah. I think we can espouse a certain value, and a lot of times we do. But they're hard to live by, and it's easier to kinda cheat periodically. But, again, like you said, we're we are our own worst critic. We know every time we skate on our core values. Mhmm. And that voice in the back of your head is just, you know, okay. That's one. That's two. That's 7. That's 12 today. Then there's just so much tension. And it's, it's kind of like someone someone once said that when you lie a lot, you have to remember a lot. Mhmm. When you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything because if someone asks you, you're just gonna give them the same true answer. Whereas if you're if you're making a bunch of lies, you gotta remember, which lie did I tell Joe? Which lie did I tell Bob?
You know? Which lie do I need to remember when they ask me this? And that's the tension that not living to your core values causes.
[00:25:49] Unknown:
Well, that makes yeah. That's right. Yeah. Then, of course, you know, one lie snowballs into another, and it gets just get bigger and bigger and bigger, and you end up spending more time and more energy and more effort, really, in in fabricating the story. And of course, eventually it gets to the point where even you yourself have to say, oh, come on. This is this is ridiculous now. I mean Where where is the truth? I don't remember anymore. You know, when when when did I decide to become an astronaut? I don't know. I don't know. Or like in, like Seinfeld, the the marine biologist, you know, you remember that? I don't know if you've seen that one, but, No. Not that one. Yeah. Well, George Costanza, you know, wants to, impress somebody, so he goes out and tells them that, he's a marine biologist. And then one day, he's strolling along the beach with that with that particular woman, and there's a beached whale. And, of course, she looks at him to help the beached whale.
I can see I can see George in that predicament. Yeah. Exactly. So that's exactly what you just just described. I mean, it's it's it's crazy. But, and and you're absolutely right about that. It just it just it's just an unnecessary waste of energy, and and strength, and effort to to come up with that just to keep just to perpetuate the whole thing. There was I did have a question for you though about and and I I can't find it in my note here. I I it's because it was an add on. But, let me let me just move on to the next one here. Ah, yeah. This was good. The the difference between happiness, joy, and contentment.
[00:27:16] Unknown:
Yeah. You know, happiness is happiness is an emotion. It's it's determined by our circumstances. It's chasing that butter butterfly that you're gonna chase and chase, and it's always gonna elude you. Joy and contentment are an attitude that you choose to have with regardless of your circumstances. It comes from inside of you. And I heard it was a psychologist comedian who said, you know, you know, chasing happiness is like chasing that butterfly and chasing it. Then you sit down and decide to have lunch and the butterfly lands on your shoulder because you're no longer chasing it. That's joy and contentment are sitting there being being who you are and and finding fulfillment
[00:28:04] Unknown:
that in in who you are. But why do you think we confuse them?
[00:28:09] Unknown:
Oh, our we are advertisements or whatever are built to bring discontentment so that you will seek happiness in buying the latest iPhone, the latest whatever. So, we are sold happiness, based on the possession of something, and that's that's the that's capitalism at its worst. Whereas joy and contentment are our free choice as long as used to wake up and thank god that we have two feet to put on the ground and we can stand up and a roof over our heads and all that and warm coffee.
[00:29:00] Unknown:
Yeah. I which I I love my warm coffee. I have I have well, I I finished my methylene blue, so I'm gonna stick with the coffee here for the rest.
[00:29:08] Unknown:
You're you're you're doing cold you're you're you're confusing your body hot and cold, but that's that's that's supposed to be good. It is. It it keeps it keeps you guessing.
[00:29:17] Unknown:
Yes. Your body doesn't know, it it sometimes I think it evokes the need to use the restroom a lot faster. Yes. I digress. Alright. So, you said people can find fulfillment in almost any job or any activity. If they know if they know who they were made to be. How do you help them find that?
[00:29:39] Unknown:
Yeah. So, I mean, you know, there's the I I joke with my clients. There's the easy way and the hard way. The easy way is there are assessments, and I like the strength finders. It used to be called CliftonStrengths. Mhmm. And people some people hate assessments, hate to be labeled, and it's like, okay. Well, we can, you know, we can kinda go through life your day and see what brings you joy, what brings you know, kinda tease it out. But it's a lot simpler to do an assessment. These things are scientifically proven. And then kind of explore how those things show up in your day and where opportunities to make to do more with those talents.
[00:30:24] Unknown:
And so now I wanna I wanna dip into a little bit of, brain science and behavior. So I Yeah. I've I've done some studying. Okay. The the the I'm gonna I'm probably gonna pronounce it wrong, but you can correct me, doctor. The the vagus nerve or the vagus? The vagus. The vagus nerves. Okay. So, what's so special about the the vagus nerve, and how does it tie into emotional and physical health?
[00:30:50] Unknown:
Oh, yeah. So we have the fighter we have the fight or flight, the sympathetic nervous system, that's super high energy, adrenaline, cortisol. And because we're always kinda self critical and we tend to live too much in that fight or flight, Adrenaline and cortisol are great short term when we need to run away from a tiger, but long term, they have all sorts of bad defects. The vagus nerve is what they call the rest and digest, system. So it it's I've heard it said that it's one of the longest nerves. I know it goes down through it goes to the heart, the esophagus, into the intestines. And there's a there's a hack called box breathing. There's a lot of different variations, and I always tell people start with the basic, which is, breathing into a slow count of four, hold in to a slow count of four, Breathe out to a slow count of four. Hold out to a slow count of four.
Do that for yeah. They say at least three times, but I find, really, I give myself I give myself three to five minutes of doing that. So, hypothetically, you know, if I let's say that there was a night that maybe my wife and I had not so pleasant interactions, And I decided to go to bed, and I'm so ticked off I can't sleep. But going in going back into the kitchen and continuing the argument wouldn't have been productive either. And I was afraid I was going to just lie there tossing and turning. I went to the box breathing, and I did it. And I kept I actually kept going slower. I scared myself how slow I started breathing. I actually got a timer, and I was breathing about once every forty five to fifty seconds. Wow.
And so I turned off the timer. I did a few more of those breaths. I stopped the box breathing. I turned over, and I went to sleep. So five minutes from being so livid I can't fathom going to sleep or doing anything, kicked on my vagus nerve to say knock all that stuff off. Right. And I went to sleep, and I woke up when my alarm went off.
[00:33:12] Unknown:
Oh, I'm gonna try that because I I I because I think that that might actually help people who don't who have sleeping problems with it without having to have the Sure. External. Because I I have a try I have trouble sleeping. So I'm I might actually try that out. I'm gonna I'll let you know what how that works. Yeah. It's you know?
[00:33:32] Unknown:
Right. I mean, there's a whole thing on the neuroscience of prepping for sleep, getting rid of screens, or putting them in orange you know, the orange mode. Mhmm. But, yeah, getting away from screens, slowing down, not doing stimulating activities, video games, blah blah blah. And then, yeah, meditation, breathing,
[00:33:55] Unknown:
prep yourself for sleep. And what do you think about, the, you know, sleeping in in red light with red lights on?
[00:34:03] Unknown:
I've not I've not explored that.
[00:34:05] Unknown:
I'm curious about it because I've been seeing some a lot of things about that. I had a few few people ask me, like, when I was talking to some folks at work about speaking you to the tonight, they asked me to ask that question for them. So
[00:34:18] Unknown:
I'm wondering I mean, the you know? Okay. So how long have we been on this earth, and what if what has evolved, what has been created, whatever. But maybe maybe that's like sleeping next to the fire.
[00:34:35] Unknown:
Oh, maybe.
[00:34:37] Unknown:
Yeah. I mean, that's the only thing I can think of that would naturally be a red light in,
[00:34:43] Unknown:
you know, in the night. In an otherwise dark place. Yeah. I I'm not sure. I'm not sure about it. So this this might be a project. Red light is probably safer than starting a fire in your bedroom. Yeah. I would agree with that. But I I also did read something though that they said that, sleeping with some type of, color lighting, whether it's blue lights or red lights, it it does something with the brainwaves. And it can stimulate certain types of thought, and and lead to certain types of dreams, during the course of the night. So I'm I was just curious about about that. And like I said, when a few people asked me about it tonight, I I figured let me ask you.
[00:35:21] Unknown:
Yeah. I I mean, I know that certain colors are supposed to like, yellow is calming and stuff. So I, yeah, I don't know a whole lot about that. But, but yeah. So, neuroscience is fascinating. It's, you know, the whole idea of training retraining the brain and retraining triggers Mhmm. So that you don't they say the unregulated brain goes to pain and a regulated brain goes to joy. And it's I say it's kinda like water. If you had you know, at the top of the mountain, there's very little little valleys, and the water goes that and goes into bigger valleys and bigger valleys. And so if, you know, if your unregulated brain wants to take every experience down the valley that leads to pain, you have to do some work to change the water to flow just to the left. Just up at the very top, it takes very little effort to make that little valley go Right. To the joy.
[00:36:28] Unknown:
Right. So what what does neuroscience actually tell us about how lasting change actually takes place? How it happens?
[00:36:35] Unknown:
Yeah. So, you know, the lasting change is from physiologic changes in our brain. Our our brain has a lot of connections and their wirings, and they, there are synapses that you you can, by enforcing reinforcing them, strengthen them. By tuning them down, you can actually break the synapse or at least make it unusable. And certain pathways get myelinated, and I still don't I mean, I understand the bio biology, but the the physics, something about when you when you insulate it, the the signal goes faster down way. So that myelination so there are physical change in our brain as we actually change behaviors.
[00:37:34] Unknown:
Now as a coach and as as a doctor, how how do you help people, I guess, navigate those lines between what they can control and what they can't?
[00:37:44] Unknown:
Yeah. I mean, that's really, it's it's getting people to give up on changing others. That's that's the most when when people are willing to say that to acknowledge that the the the best person they can work on is themselves, then serious change starts starts taking place. But, also, it's I think the biggest thing is, the first couple of sessions are kinda just like as a, you know, as a doc. People come and see me, and they don't know. And then they're like, oh, well, you know, seems like a nice guy, and he seems like he cares. And okay. I can I can, you know, trust him a little more and and go a little deeper?
[00:38:35] Unknown:
And do you do you do you find that it it how long of a process do you feel like is is it like I'm sure it's not a cookie cutter. Like, you can't say, well, we're gonna start today and by this date you're gonna be like this, this, and this. I'm sure everybody's different. And I'm sure there's a lot of resistance at times as well, especially when you start getting more into their personalities and and and deeper into the the reason why they're actually there with you. Did you find it to be a challenge that is something that that or or challenge that is difficult to overcome?
[00:39:05] Unknown:
You know, it you're like you said, it is very it is very variable depending on the person. I would say that with a majority of clients about and I started joking with clients. I'd say, look. About three to four sessions in, something's gonna happen. This and I'm just gonna kinda roughly describe it. You're gonna say something. I'm gonna ask a question, and it's gonna evoke a response something like this. That's exactly where I didn't wanna go today. Cool. Do we need to go there? And to this date, there has not been a client that didn't say, yes. That's where we need to go. Okay. Let's shift gears and go there.
But it takes three or four sessions to get to that point.
[00:39:51] Unknown:
It almost it almost sounds like, you're like like more like a therapist in a lot of ways in a lot of the sessions that you have. Right?
[00:39:58] Unknown:
It's you know, I mean so, yes. I mean, what we're trying to do there's a big talk. What's the difference between therapy and coaching? Well, therapy is healing, you know, taking someone from a broken state to a to an intact state, whereas coaching is taking someone from an intact state to a a flourishing, a higher state. I see. But, yes, some of the same stuff. And I would say maybe a quarter or a third of my clients are doing both.
[00:40:30] Unknown:
Okay. Now you work with people that are in leadership roles. So in some cases, big leadership roles. What's one challenge that they would rarely rarely admit publicly, but often bring up in a coaching scenario?
[00:40:48] Unknown:
Yeah. I think the, again, it's that it's that insecurity of we all have our own insecurities, and yet we can't can't show that. And studies actually show that leaders are more successful when they show their insecurities. I one of my first jobs twenty some odd years ago, I befriended I just started chatting with our IT our computer geek. And, he just noticed he says, you are the first doc I have ever heard say three words. I don't know. Will you be my doctor? Like, sure. Because he's like, I've never I've never heard a doctor say I don't know. They all think they know everything. So, you know, that that being genuine.
Yes. And I think the the big thing is we all think, well, if I say I don't know, then people aren't gonna trust me. I don't know, but I'm gonna do my best to find out. That's that's believable and trustable.
[00:42:12] Unknown:
I agree with you. I I agree with you, and that that I don't I don't think that is strictly to someone in the medical profession either. I think that that translates across all professions, really. If you don't know something, it's better to admit that you don't know it and find the answer to it than to try to to to snow job somebody into thinking some I'm gonna give an example here. I probably shouldn't because I don't know if he listens or not, but, like, my doctor. Okay. I love my doctor. He's a great guy. He really is Ernesto. If he's listening, I love you, and I'll see you next week. But there are times where I'm actually telling him what my diagnosis is.
Do you know what I mean? Not not that he doesn't know, it's just that I feel like sometimes he's taking a stab at it, not really understanding, but like for there there was an example that I had that I've used several times that, I was experiencing a problem, and I I I went to him and couldn't figure out what the problem was. Wanted to go through all these tests, and and so on and so forth. And I was like, alright. Well, we'll do that. And, came back home and I was just kinda sitting there and I was like, I'm looking at the medication that he prescribed to me, and I'm looking at it and I'm like, I don't know if this is the right thing. And that's why I started researching on my own, and I realized that, okay, I think he I think he was wrong in in what he thinks this is.
Went back to the doctor and I said, alright, so this is what I've got. I got this, this, this, and this, which matches this, this, this, and this. And if it is this, then you need to you need to treat it this way. And he just looked at it, and he said to me, he goes, okay. Yeah. So where'd you go to medical school? I was like, WebMD buddy. You know? But, not that if that's not an endorsement to go out and do that stuff for yourself. You know? I I have a death wish so it's like I don't really care. But, you know, so this is this is just me. This is who I am. I just I I do these things. So, but I was right. And that's that's my point.
Yeah. You know, but just like Everyone everyone's right sometimes. But Yeah. You you can you can sometimes you can find a diamond in the garbage pail. Yep. Every now and then. Or what is it? The the broken clock is right twice a day. Yes it is. Yes it is. Yep. And in some cases, three times a day. You never know. So, but so let me let's get away from all that serious nonsense, and not that that's nonsense, but it's nonsense. The more important stuff. You love the outdoors. Yes. What's your what's your one outdoor activity that always resets your spirit?
[00:44:51] Unknown:
Oh, I love I love biking. I love Nice. Row row mostly road biking. I ride to work two days a week. And, actually, I was today, I had to drop a car off to get some work done, so I threw my bike in the back and just I kinda all of a sudden, I realized I know I know where I need to go. I don't know how I need to get there. I know how to get home, north and west. And I started going, and I was like, oh, that's a hill. Let's climb that hill. And then, oh, I'm in a dead end. Okay. Well, that's cool because I get that downhill now. And it was just I knew I'd be home in time for whatever I needed to do next, and I had allowed enough time. But,
[00:45:39] Unknown:
you know, sometimes I just go exploring on my bike. Nice. I love to fish. Fishing is one of my my favorite things to do, and I my dad and I used to go fishing all the time when when he was alive. And, you know, since I've been since I moved down here to Texas, I have not gone fishing once, and, I wouldn't even know where to go, to be honest with you. I live in a desert for crying out loud. So it's interesting down here. But, let's see. So if someone if someone listening today feels like they're stuck or or they're unseen and, you know, they they just they need some advice, what's the one thing that you would want them to know?
[00:46:11] Unknown:
Well, the the biggest thing is that, you're not alone. There are a lot of people feeling the same way, and there is help out there. There are there are coaches. There are mentors. There are people that can help. And, and, you know, my wife and I were talking about this. Well, if if one thing doesn't work, what do you do? Well, let's see. If you've got a flat tire and you tried putting air in it and it's flat again, and you tried, you know, filling it with a hose, to put water in it and it keeps going flat, you're eventually gonna do something else and find something to actually work. So, I would not give up after one try with a counselor or a coach, if, you know, if you're stuck.
If you're if you've got wounds that need heal healing, you need to you need to give it a couple of tries, find someone that's gonna click with you, and and and do the work.
[00:47:10] Unknown:
Words of wisdom on that one. I'll tell you that for sure. That's a fact. Alright. Well, our our next guest has already checked in, so we're gonna we're gonna, go to take our break here. And, so coach Jim, just wanna say thank you. Thank you very much. So where can our listeners go to connect with you and, learn more about your work and your coaching practice?
[00:47:29] Unknown:
Yeah. At, repurposementllc.com, they can find my my information there. They can schedule a free consult. They can,
[00:47:41] Unknown:
find out more about me. Outstanding. And all of the information that we have available will be in the show notes. So everybody can just click the link that's gonna be in the show notes. It'll take you right to his website and to all his information. Coach Jim, thank you so much for being here with us tonight. Really do appreciate it, and I look forward to talking to you again, sir. Alright, Joe. Thanks a lot. Have a great night. You too. Alright, folks. That is, first hour is coming to a an end here. So what we're gonna do is we're gonna take a break and, reset the tools here. And when we come back, our second hour guest, Wilk Wilkinson, will be joining us. And, we're looking forward to that conversation as well. And, so, don't forget folks, this is a live show Monday, Wednesday, Friday, or or we just say weeknights at 7PM central time. Don't forget our sun our Saturday spotlight at 3PM central time. And, oh, this Saturday, no spotlight show. Actually, this Saturday, we're gonna have at three p at, 12:00, we're gonna have our crypto show, with Marissa Lee, so make sure that you, check us out for that. And then, Sunday, our 06:00 bible study, so you're all all so welcome to join us for that.
Alright. So again, folks, this is a live show. Don't Don't forget to like, subscribe, and share it with your friends, your family, and your followers. If you were watching on on Twitch, Facebook, x, whatever, just head over to that, that app store on your phone there and download the Rumble app and join us here on Rumble. Also, you could, check us out on the web at rumble.com/joeroos. It is free to download, free to to, to sign up, and free to follow the show. Alright. Well, with all that said, we're gonna take our break here. When we come back, we'll, connect here with Wilk Wilkerson. Alright? So folks, we'll see you in a few minutes. Give us about two, maybe three minutes. Gotta use the bathroom, get more coffee. Alright? Talk to you in a few. We'll be right back.
[00:52:31] Unknown:
Up and down, counting out, smiling through the taste of blood in my own mouth. I got bruises and broken bones, but they don't know I ain't in this ring alone. I'm a fighter. No one can say in that last bit because I hit harder when I'm tired. I'm a fighter. I get back up. That's what I do. I didn't soldier on this far. Just No one can keep me down. They didn't know, but they know now that I'm a fighter. No one could say that I'm a running hotter. Don't cash in that last bit. Don't throw that towel just yet. I'm a fighter.
[00:55:15] Unknown:
Alrighty, folks. This is Joe Roos, and we are live at twenty hundred hours central time. This is the Joe Roos show, and the first hour is done and in the books. Hour number two about to kick off. So folks, what do you think of our guest, Coach? I think it went pretty good. Very good information in there that we received. So it was great to have him on the show. We really enjoyed that. That was a treat. And, if you have any questions that you wanna relay, just don't forget to head over to, his website, or you can send them over to us, and we'll forward them on over to him. Alright. Folks, don't forget, live show weeknights, 7PM central time.
7PM central time, 8PM eastern time. And don't forget to head over to the website, joe roos dot com. That's joeroos.com. Leave us a message. Let us know what you think. Look for that support button. If you can help us out with a donation, we'd appreciate it. And, you know, check out our, our our support page itself. You can see all the different ways you can help us out. Alright. Now, our next guest grew up in rural poverty, endured relentless bullying, and started working at age 10 just to afford what his family couldn't provide. But instead of giving into bitterness, he turned hardship into purpose, and he found his voice as a champion for civility, gratitude, and personal accountability.
Wilk Wilkinson is the creator and host of Derate the Hate, which is a podcast that's aimed at helping people move from anger to understanding. He's a director of media systems and operations at Braver Angels, America's largest grassroots movement bridging political and social divides. He also serves on the board of advisors for Prohuman Foundation. And whether he's mentoring through his podcast, shaping national conversations at Braver Angels, or speaking from the heart, he's a devoted as a devoted husband, father, and Christian conservative, Wilk leads with empathy, conviction, and a fierce belief in the power of human dignity.
Tonight, we're we're gonna explore what it means to disagree better, to heal division, and to rewrite our lives from the inside out. Wilk Wilkerson, welcome to the Joe Russo. It is great to have you here with us tonight, and, we're just waiting on you to check to, turn that camera on. While we're waiting for there he is.
[00:57:55] Unknown:
I appreciate it, Joe. Sorry about that. A little technical,
[00:57:58] Unknown:
difficulty on this end. But, that's fine, brother. That's fine, brother. Because like I tell everybody every show, if it wasn't my show if if if it wasn't for technical problems, it wouldn't have a show. You know? So it's it's just the way it's just the way it works. This this, this this mess that we put together every every other day. It's it's amazing. So So welcome to the show, man. It's great to hear from great to see you finally. And, and I gotta tell you, you know, for a for a podcaster, for for someone that's involved in, in political engagement like you are and as a family man, you are a man of many words in the chats. We've been going back and forth. Folks, if you don't know if you don't know what I'm talking about, every message that I sent to him while I got back was a thumbs up. So
[00:58:42] Unknown:
I, yeah, I I get used to using those emojis, Joe. I I I get so many messages from so many places and people every day. If if I can sum it up and save everybody else time with just a thumbs up, I, I I try to do it that way. But, yeah, that's that's odd because normally people just they're like, man, do you ever shut up?
[00:59:03] Unknown:
Well well, you have a whole hour to talk here, so we'll be good. The, the funny thing is though with the emoji, I I I got a little rebellious, a few months ago. And, I was getting so tired, especially at the job where everything they they would come every time you'd write something down in a text group or something, all you gave was a thumbs up. I said, you know what? The the next person that gives me a thumbs up, I'm giving them the middle finger emoji. And and and who and and just who do you think gave me a thumbs up on something that I had put into a text?
[00:59:40] Unknown:
Let's say your mom. My pastor. Oh, no. Okay. Yeah. I I I was trying to think of the two worst people that it could have been if the to to flip them off, and that would be your mom or your pastor. No. The pastor. You had a fifty fifty chance.
[00:59:55] Unknown:
Excuse me. I had a cough there. So, yeah. It was like, oh, now what do I do?
[01:00:02] Unknown:
Yep. But you gotta decide are you gonna be true to yourself or Okay. At that point, you're just like, I think I'll make an exception to my new rule. Yeah. I'll well, I'll I'll lose the jewel in the crown for honesty there. That's all. That's all good. That's right.
[01:00:16] Unknown:
So welcome. I
[01:00:18] Unknown:
oh, go ahead. I was just gonna say, man, I appreciate you you you having me on here. I I, yeah. I'm grateful for it, and,
[01:00:26] Unknown:
yeah. I'm looking forward to a good conversation tonight, man. Yeah. We're gonna have a good one, I think. And we're not gonna disagree. We're not gonna argue. We're not gonna fight. We're just gonna talk about how you work people through that. Okay. Alright. All good. I I'm not a confrontational person when it comes to this stuff. I just want everybody to feel comfortable, welcome, and have a nice casual conversation. So that said, what is something that most people don't know about you, but should?
[01:00:51] Unknown:
Most people don't know about me. Well, it depends. I mean, people have been listening to me for a while, and a lot of people know, that that I used to be a a pretty toxic person. Pretty used used to be a pretty toxic person and and and have turned that around. One thing that people, you know, I I I think that that people don't don't know about me personally is, you know, how often how much how much pain it actually took to get to a point where I I had to, you know, kind of change who I was and and how I thought about things. I mean, it's it's you know, people ask that question, but I don't ever I don't think I can ever put it into words, Joe, how much how much pain and and personal, you know, personal punishment I put myself through before I finally said, you know, enough of this. Let's,
[01:01:58] Unknown:
let's look for a better way. So Yeah. That that I can relate to that. I I can relate to that there there. I I had a a period of my life too where I just I was ready to fly off the handle at the moment's notice. I'd and it was like either punch somebody or punch a wall. It it was that type of personality, but, I don't know. Just I think I think I just decided one day not to be like that, and it just it took it wasn't that simple, believe me. But it was just that waking up that day and say, you know what? I don't wanna be like this anymore, and then start taking those steps to not be like that. So when when you say that, people think, oh, you just woke up like that and just decided you don't wanna be that. No. It was a decision, but there were steps involved with making that decision a reality.
[01:02:41] Unknown:
So I get you. Oh, that's right. I totally get you. That's right. You know? And and the thing is, you know, you mentioned, you know, punching someone or punching a wall, Joe. And and, for anybody who doesn't understand how, how how easy that is to fall into that trap Oh, yeah. Of of that being your default reaction to to all these different things. I mean, I I can't tell you. I mean, I think the only reason I got good at doing sheetrock, Joe, is because at at one point, I was having to fix walls all the time. Right? And and and, you know, it's I I I make I I say that as a joke, but it's not really a joke because, you know, after a while, when you're patching the same spots or doing the same thing over and over again and and and it's costing you money and and whether it be, you know, handyman, bills, you know, having to go out, buy a sheet of sheet rock and the mud and all that stuff, and and then the time that it takes to fix it and and that or, in my case, a couple times putting myself into the hospital for for, you know, whether it be on somebody's head or on the wall and Well. And things like that. It's it's like, okay.
You know, how long are you gonna continue to be this incredible dumbass? Because this is a thing that only you can control. And, man, it it it's, you know, my my wife makes jokes, but, you know, she'll say, you know, if if anybody's gonna do it the hard way, it's gonna be you. You know, it's like the Wilkinson way. You know? Figure out the hardest way to do it and then try to figure out how to make it harder. And, yeah, it it it took a lot longer than it should have and and a lot more pain than it should have, but it was, you know, it was part of the journey, part of the path. Oh, yeah. And, I'm I'm better for it, but, it was it was painful.
[01:04:36] Unknown:
No. I I I totally understand that. Going through similar things like that. I mean, there were times where well, there was one time, I can say it now because it's so many many years ago that I doubt anybody cares anymore, but I had, I had gotten into an argument with my wife at the time, and, I got so enraged. I didn't know what to do next. So instead of taking it out on the wall or taking it out on her, which is the smartest move to make, not to do that, I I just I looked around and I I saw the first thing I saw was the carpet, and I just grabbed it, and I just pulled, and I pulled up the whole side of the carpet.
And of course, you know, that set her off. Well, look what you did now, you idiot. Look what you need, you know. And how you get now you gotta fix that. So now I'm not fixing that. So the next day I called the carpet places, and hey, what kind of job do you guys do, man? The whole whole side of the house, the carpet just came up. You gotta get over here and fix this thing. And they came over, they fixed it. No problem. But, you know, it's, you get sometimes I call the stupid tax. What you were telling what you described is the stupid tax. You made a stupid decision. Now you gotta pay the price for it. So
[01:05:47] Unknown:
Right. Right. And, you know, I I just wanna I wanna bring up something there, Joe, because because what what you just said there, there's a lesson in that that a lot of people may or may not catch, but I wanna kinda point it out because that's it's one of these things. You know, we call it you can call it whatever, evading personal accountability or or or whatever. But but when we do things like that, you know, when we find a way to evade our own stupidity and and and push it off onto somebody else, personal accountability and personal responsibility is one of the greatest tools we have as human beings. That's right. I agree.
And and when when we find a way and and, you know, when we find a way to evade that, like, you just you just said you kinda pushed it off to the carpet people. Look what you guys have done. Right. You know, what kind of position did you put me into to to do this thing? Right. You know, you know, setting aside the whole moral accountability or, you know, unethical side of of what that is. Mhmm. What you've done is now robbed yourself of an opportunity to learn. That's right. You know, I talk I I I write it on all my notebooks, EMI, o f or e or, EMI a o f l. Every mistake is an opportunity for learning. That's right. And and, and and that is one thing that I I had to get to a point where I finally realized, you know what? I as I do these stupid things, right, whether it be getting into a massive argument with my, you know, fiance way back in the this long, long, long time ago, and walking down the hallway. We're both enraged screaming at each other. I punch the wall. I go into the bathroom on the other side. You know? And and now I've got this this massive construction project that I have to fix. Yeah.
But then I've also got her, you know, just crying behind me, you know, realizing that and and and and making me or helping me to realize that, you know, had I been just a little bit further over the edge of of of anger and and hit her, which I never did, never would have. Yeah. But she's like, if you woulda hit me like that, it coulda killed me. Sure. You know? And and that really brings a gravity to the whole situation. It sure does. You know? Now not only do I have to fix that wall, but now I've got in my head how easily could I have been one of these guys in a domestic violence situation that just put somebody in the hospital. You know? And and so so that outrage, that that constant battle of of just anger and and not being able to control my own anger, but then taking it to the next level of realizing there's only one person that can control that, and that is me. There's only one person that has the ability to choose my response to things that are outside of my control, and that is me. Mhmm. You know? That is that you know, Viktor Frankl called it the ultimate freedom.
You know? In in his book, A Man's Search for Meaning, is how do we respond to things that are outside of our control? Stephen Covey, the author of seven habits of highly effective people, talks about personal responsibility Mhmm. Our ability to choose our response. You know? When you start to think about it that way, you and I are freedom loving conservative guys, Joe. That's right. You know? When we think about life, we think about freedom. The ultimate freedom is our ability to choose our response and not just when things are going good, but when things are just going. I agree with you. Absolutely. That are outside of our control is what separates, you know, that old phrase, what separates the men from the boys, and I'm not gonna leave out the ladies because they've got that responsibility too. Absolutely. The re the reality is this. You know? If we want the ultimate freedom, we have to act upon that, and that means choosing the right to response to things that are outside of our control. That's right. That's right. And, and one of the ways that we respond to things too, and this is a tongue in cheek one,
[01:09:59] Unknown:
is to find a good way to to relax at the end of the day. So what do you do, to, to unwind, relax, decompress after a long day?
[01:10:10] Unknown:
Oh, man. Well, in in in a lot of cases, it's gonna probably involve beer or bourbon. I gotta be honest with you.
[01:10:19] Unknown:
Alright. Another note to my producer, Angela. You see, this is the second one that I that I changed the question for expecting, because I thought I was gonna get I'll drink water. Bourbon. Thank you. I'm a bourbon guy myself, man. There you go. I'm a bourbon guy myself. There is nothing better than sitting out in the backyard with a nice cigar and a nice bourbon and just relaxing and watching the sunset.
[01:10:44] Unknown:
Yeah. No. I I I I agree. I I did have to give up the cigars, a little bit, though. They, they do give my lovely wife a headache. So so just the smell of them, but that was fine. I I I still get to have my cold beers. I still get to have my bourbons. And and, yeah, I'm a guy that, be honest with you. I I just I really like to have, you know, have a cold beer or have a cold bourbon and Yeah. And, and sit around and just kinda think about things. I'm a I I I think about things. I'm a people watcher. I'm a people person. Same. I I I interact with, obviously, a lot of people in doing what I do and and try to kind of evaluate all the different things that I encounter on a daily basis. And and a lot of lot of things that I I do just yeah. Sometimes it's just a matter sitting out, looking at the trees, looking at the sunset, you know, watching the clouds, having a cold drink, and,
[01:11:40] Unknown:
just trying to, make sense of it all. Yeah. Now I'm not sure where you live, but I live in I live in Texas. I live I'm in I'm in a little little border town called Eagle Pass. And, I'm not a native Texan. I'm from New York, originally. I've been living down here now ten years. And I will say this, I I I've been through, I wanna say, probably about 30 of the 50 states. I have never seen a place with as beautiful a sky as a Texas sky. And Yes. And it's probably one of the most beautiful sunsets and sunrises that that you could see, and, you know, I I I just love it. I just I just love to sit out there and look at it, and just watch the colors are just amazing.
And, and like you, I'm a peep I'm I'm a people watcher. I'd I'd worked in law enforcement for twenty three years of my twenty five years in New York City, you know, so I you know, it just I'm a people watcher. I watch things. And, you know, I just like to observe and see how people react to things, and and and and I try to learn a little something from everybody, to try to better myself. And, it's it's been a it's an incredible experience. It it it really is when you take those quiet moments and just reflect on things. And especially, you know, you're a Christian man. I'm I'm I'm a born again Christian myself, and you know, I love to spend time with the Lord and to to be able to just kinda meditate on the on the word of God. And, sometimes I just there's just nothing better than that. Just having that quiet time out there watching the sun set over the desert, because I basically eagle passes the desert. So, you know, get to watch that and just see that's amazing. It's just an amazing experience, and that's how I like to unwind.
[01:13:20] Unknown:
Yeah. I mean, like, you think about that is is the sky is often God's canvas. Right? That's right. Yeah. I mean, you you get to look each day. It's a different thing. Each day, it's a different painting. He he he puts a different thing up there for you to look at, and and, you know, you talked about meditating and reflection and and and it's a it's amazing if if you look in nature, how much nature can give you, to to soothe your soul. Amen. It it it I I mean, I I I'm a guy who who likes to hunt. I like to fish. I like to spend time outdoors. I grew up outdoors and and still try to spend as much time outdoors as I can. And, yeah, it's a blessing to to look around at at, you know, at God's, at God's work every day and and see, all the different things that we get to see and And appreciate it too. And appreciate it. Yeah. And and that's that's where it comes in. You know, I talk a lot about gratitude, Joe.
And and it's amazing if you if you start to look at things like that. Right? I mean, something as little as as maybe a cloud or the way a sun is setting or, you know, a different hue that that is is is shining, you know, come, you know, coming through, whatever as you're as you're watching the sunset or the sunrise and and just to be grateful for it. That little feeling you get from that or or or the first time that you see, a different landscape as you're driving across the country. You talked about, you know, being in in 30 some states. And and this country this country of ours is one of the beautiful places most beautiful places on the planet. Now I've been to, I I think, just about every one of the the lower 48 states, most of them in a semi. But but just getting to see whether even if it's from the windshield of a semi, you know, getting to see all the different things that this country has to offer and the different landscapes and Absolutely. Different terrains, whether it be from, you know, the Southern Tip Of Florida by by Miami or even as far down to the Keys or or or up by, you know, Portland and and, you know, Seattle and and and that area up there, you know, from one tip to the other. This country's got a lot of things to look at, a lot of things that are beautiful. And when you think about the idea of being grateful for those things and what that can do for your mind, what that can do for your soul, and,
[01:15:48] Unknown:
then most of all, how it can start to transform your mindset altogether. Yes. We can get into that too if you want. Yeah. But, I wanna ask you this, though. You started working at the age of 10. Right? And Yeah. And, and you moved around a lot when you were growing up. When you were doing that and and going through those moments there, what kind of a mindset did that instill in you from early on?
[01:16:10] Unknown:
Well, that definitely instilled a, a major work ethic for me because when I when I when I was growing up, Joe, my folks just didn't have a lot. I mean, they they didn't have a lot. They they worked blue collar jobs. My dad, whether he was, working in the construction industry or or driving a truck himself or my mom spent a lot of years working in, in in clothing factories. She sewed in in, some blue jeans and for a company called ALFS Mhmm. At at a a l f s, almost like the character, you know, from that that wonderful eighties TV show.
[01:16:50] Unknown:
That's that's some of those what came to my mind when you said it in the first place.
[01:16:54] Unknown:
Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, and I I don't think they were, I I don't think the two concept were related, but but, no, Alice made made blue jeans. Right? So she's she's going in and and and sewing blue jeans for, you know, almost no money at all, you know, in the late seventies, early eighties, coming home, tore up hands, you know, tape and and stuff covering up, you know, wear run a needle through her hand or whatever. And, so my folks and my dad was always, you know, beat up from working hard, like I said, doing construction and things like that. And we just didn't have a lot of money. Yeah. And there were things that I wanted, that I saw that other kids had, that I definitely did not.
You know, a lot of times, we didn't have a a a television or a or a telephone and and other people. And even if we did have a television, it might not even have been color. We certainly didn't have cable like some of the other, other people did. And and, so there were certain things that I wanted, Joe, that that my folks just couldn't afford. And, even if they could, I don't know if they would have given them to me because they knew that the lesson that I was gonna learn, was more important than having those things. So, you know, I'd ask my folks for something, and they say, you know, you're gonna have to get a job and get it yourself.
So, you know, when I was when I was 10 years old, I I I had two paper routes, and, and then I was a I call it a janitor at a dry cleaning business. But every day, Monday through Friday from five to 05:30, I'd go into the the local dry cleaner. I'd, I'd clean all the lint filters, vacuum the lobby, sweep the backroom, and give me $5 a week. I bought a motorcycle with that money and and, but the but the first lesson, the way I learned that lesson was a a lesson my dad taught me early, and that was, it involved raising some chickens.
And and and and he said, you know, I I wanted, I wanted a a leather jacket. Like, my, you know, idol at the time was Michael Jackson. Right? And, and I saw him on I was over at my cousin's house. MTV was a thing for the first time ever. Saw the was it either the beaded, or or I don't know what what video it was, Joe. Doesn't matter now, but but I wanted a leather jacket like Michael Jackson. And, and as dad, I said, how can I get this leather jacket? He's like, okay. You're gonna have to work for it. And, he's like, I tell you what. We're gonna buy a whole bunch of chickens. We're gonna raise the chickens. It was gonna be for a big party for the place that he worked at at the time.
And he's like, for every chicken that you keep alive until, you know, till butcher time, I'll give you a quarter, and then you can buy with it whatever you want. Well, I worked, got the chickens to got the chickens to butcher, got my money for it, and I said, dad, I want a I want a baseball glove. And he's like, well, you're gonna have to choose. You can either get a baseball glove or you're gonna get a leather jacket. What do you want? I don't think I had enough money for the leather jacket, but I did have enough money for the for the baseball glove. And and he's like, look, man. You earned the money, and and it's your money.
It when you earn the money, you get to choose how you spend it. That's right. Yeah. I bought my baseball glove, and it was a very, very important lesson. So so the lesson that I learned there was if I work hard, I get to make my choice. I get to make my own choices. Mhmm. And and then I get a greater appreciation for what I get after I put in all the work to get it. Great point.
[01:20:29] Unknown:
Great point. And I I I I kinda I I can relate to your story in in in some aspects because, you know, I grew up in in Brooklyn, New York. My blue collar family, my dad, my mom, after after she when she got pregnant with me, I'm I'm the oldest in my family. So, when she got pregnant with me, my dad told her, I don't want you working anymore. My mom was working in, in Manhattan. She was working at, I forget which corporate building she was working in down there. But, my dad was like, no. I don't want you to work anymore. I want you to just I want you to be a stay at home mom. I want you to take care of take care of the family. And my dad went out. My dad worked for the postal service for thirty two years, I think, or thirty three years or something like that.
And the only reason why he quit is because they made him retire because he had health some health concerns that were preventing him from actually doing his job. Because my dad wasn't just a letter carrier. I don't know if there's anything wrong with that, but my dad actually my my dad was a mail handler, so that was basically worked in the main post office in Manhattan, constantly busy, you know, driving the driving the forklift, driving the trucks, and moving all all the heavy bags of mail that came through and the packages and all that stuff. And, he he would work overnights, and then when he would get home in the morning, he would be he'd be home for, like, maybe two hours, and then he was out driving a yellow cab around Manhattan. Oh, that's right. Yeah. You know? And then when he got off of that, on his days off, he was driving, they had they don't really have him around too much now, but they had, like, car service. Now it's Uber and stuff like that. But they had, like, legitimate, you know, car service places.
And so he would drive drive car service, and he would do the yellow cab, he'd do the postal service, and he would do all kinds of stuff just to make sure that we had what we needed. We may not necessarily had everything we wanted, but we had everything that we needed, and that put a great sense of appreciation in myself and my sister later on. As as we grew up, you know, we understood how hard it is for you know, to to support a family, and how important it is to be there and to support your family, and to take care of your family. So it was so similar stories, you know, as far as background goes, you know, that working hard, that that demonstration of hard work carried over.
You know, when, when my kids were young, I worked, I worked for for New York City for, like I said, you know, twenty three years, but I I worked. I did overnights, almost like my dad. I worked overnights, and then I'd get out of work, I'd get home by seven in the morning, and at 07:30, I had the guy picking me up at my house, and we were on the way out, and we were cutting grass. We were doing landscaping work until three, 04:00 in the afternoon. Went home, ate something, went to sleep for a couple hours, got up, went right back to work in the city. Why? Because my kids needed things. I wanted my kids to have things. I wanted my kids to be comfortable and and have a nice home to live in and food in the refrigerator and all that stuff. My wife at the time she worked, but I she didn't I didn't want her working full time, you know, but she felt like she needed to do something. So she worked local. It was close to home. It was, like, even a two minute drive from the house.
You know, and so, you know, but growing up like that, and still, like in you, that need and that, that that desire and that want to provide for my family the best way I know how, and to teach my kids. Now my kids are carrying on the same thing. My son works his tail off, you know, and he has and he has disabilities, my son. He he he has, he has a number of things that that kind of slow him down a little bit, but he he kills himself to do his job. My daughter also, my daughter put herself through put herself through, grad school. She graduated recently with her MBA, and, you know, she's working she's working a great job. And she did all of that while raising her well, she's married, but but, you know, while her husband was working, she was raising her, my first granddaughter.
She was pregnant with the second one while she was putting herself through through grad school. And, you know, so I I I I, you know, I look at them and I say, you know what? I I failed them in so many ways, but at the same time, I am so incredibly proud of them for carrying on. You know what I'm saying? So it it's it's so it's Absolutely. It's a it's a great thing, and and I love that we have that kind of connection with similar backgrounds in that. So it's a it's, it's it's really important to to demonstrate to your to your children. Because now you have children, of course. Right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. And so they're they're they're learning from you. How how it is how it is to work hard, and why you work hard, and what those priorities and those important things are in the family.
You know? So that's that's great, brother. I I I appreciate that. That's a great story.
[01:25:17] Unknown:
Yeah. No. It's it's it's a wonderful thing. And and and, yeah, a lot of reason, Joe's Joe, the reason that I do a lot of the things that I actually do is because, you know, what kind of legacy do I wanna leave for my children? Yeah. You know, what what do I want them to do? You know, I what what kind do I want to set for for my children? And and I think that's unfortunately, there's a lot of people that just don't understand that. Yeah. You know? What's the example that you're going to set for for, you know, for for your kids? And, you know, when you think about your father and working at the post office and working as a cab driver, working two, three jobs, whatever it takes to to to do whatever it takes to to make things happen, the way that he wanted them to happen. And look at how that that whole idea ended up, you know, transferring in into your in the MO as you got older and had your own family and then it happens again. It's no wonder when people, you know, when when people start to think about, you know, are my actions really making a difference?
If you're a a a father or if you're a parent at all, your actions absolutely make a difference. That's right. You know, the greatest gift that you can be for your children is a good example. That's right. That's the greatest gift. That's right. You know? It's not it's not some video game console or tablet or or iPhone or or whatever. It's, you know, what kind of example am I setting for my children? Right. And it's not
[01:27:05] Unknown:
the woke it's not it's not the woke teacher at school trying to, indoctrinate them into something that and try to convince them that there's something that they're not.
[01:27:14] Unknown:
Absolutely not. Absolutely not. No. No. And the example that my kids, are are are going to to follow, at least I pray that the example that my kids are going to follow is is not now if it is, I I I would love if my, you know, children are, you know, are are surrounded by influencers that have the same values that I do and and see the world in the same way that I do and and everything. I think every well, I can't I can't say every parent, but but I I think we, as parents, need to to pray for things like that. Absolutely. Because, because, unfortunately, you know, we can't be the other way either. We can't be a helicopter parent and guard them from every single thing that is out there that could be an influence.
So so it's it's one of these things where it's it's so incredibly important that we provide the primary example for what we want our children to be and then pray and then put in a lot of effort to make sure that the other people that we know are gonna be around our children are some type of positive influence. Yeah. That's not, that's not the over woke teacher that's that's trying to trying to turn them into to something that they're not. No. Absolutely right. Yeah. Hey. Let's talk about Derate the Hate because that that first, that's a great name for a show. That's right.
[01:28:49] Unknown:
I like that. So how did the idea for that podcast, come to you? And, and, like, what's what's your mission behind it?
[01:28:57] Unknown:
Right. So so the mission statement for the D Rate to Hate podcast is is bettering the world one attitude at a time. It it is it is turned into originally, let me so we'll so we'll go back to the very beginning, Joe, and and and it's kind of a funny way to get to where I am now, but but I used to be a much more angry and toxic person. Mhmm. Right? A lot of that anger and toxicity manifested and in manifested itself in in stupid political arguments with people I didn't know and and about things that I didn't know enough about and and and things like that. Right?
The same thing so many people do, in our in our country or or in our world today is is engage in these keyboard warrior battles, with people they don't know about, subjects they they don't know enough about. And and what happens is it becomes a perpetual cycle. It becomes an exponential self perpetuating bunch of nonsense. Yeah. Well, I had the idea a while back, Joe, that I was gonna start a T shirt company and just start to enlighten people on how wrong they were about almost everything. You know? And so I started this failed understanding apparel. Excuse me.
Failed understanding apparel. The initials were, you know, f u. It was on, like, a constitution scroll on the front of the front of the shirt, had phrases on the back. Very poorly designed. I'm not a graphic designer. I did more to piss people off than I ever did to influence anybody in any way, but I used to get an unbelievable amount of hate mail, based, upon my T shirt designs. And and I quickly realized that well, I quickly realized a few different things. Right? Number one, I wasn't influencing anybody. I wasn't changing anybody's mind on anything. Right. Anything. Right. I was I was I was, I was sticking money into a venture that had, a a very flawed purpose, a very flawed premise.
And but I thought, you know what? I'm gonna give this you know, I'm gonna start a podcast and start a haters happy hour. And I'm going to point out how wrong these people are that are giving me all this grief and saying all these hateful things online and and and things like that. And I just woke up one day. I was trying to figure out a title for the podcast, and I was thinking about the podcast. And I'm like, am I going to accomplish anything with a haters happy hour? The online ecosystem that we all spend too much time in is just completely engulfed in hate.
[01:32:05] Unknown:
Yeah. I agree. And
[01:32:07] Unknown:
and pointing out or or giving further affirmation to people's hate is not gonna provide a solution to anything. And and I'm like I'm like, I'm sick and tired of being part of the problem. You know, I had already I had already spent several years trying to tame my own toxicity and tame down my own anger and and things like that, but this was still still, you know, kind of a sticking point for me. So instead, I decided, you know what? I wanna turn down the hate. You know? And and and, and then I get to thinking about it. I've been in the trucking industry for for, at that at that point, twenty one years. And I was like, you know, derate the hate sounds pretty good, and the concept of derate has a has has a couple purposes. Right? So people that are in the media business or in recording knows that if you derate something, if you derate a microphone or you derate a speaker, you're turning down whatever. Derate the gain on a on on a particular recording. You're gonna you're gonna turn down that that that particular track or whatever. Right? So so derate means to turn down in that sense. But then when you start thinking about the transportation industry and for people that are not in transportation and have dealt with diesel engines and things like that, they'll know that to derate an engine means to turn down its ability to operate on that level because if it continues to operate on that level, it's going to do more damage. Okay.
So so it had a dual purpose thing. Right? It's a podcast. It it's got to do with audio and recording and everything for turning down the hate. And then also just this whole hate mechanism, this whole hate environment, we need to turn it down before it actually destroys us as a country. So that's where derate the hate came from. It's a long answer to a short question, but, Joe, I think it's important because Oh, it's great. It is, it is absolutely one of the biggest problems we face in this country today I agree. Is,
[01:34:16] Unknown:
the hate that's in this online ecosystem of ours. Well and and if we don't turn it down, it's going to destroy us. I don't even think it's just online either. I think it's just in general. You know? It that's Yeah. There's there's so much tension and there's so many issues that we that we just cannot seem to come to an agreement on. I mean, the first and foremost thing is that, you know, we live in this country, that we're Americans, we need to come together, this is our government, and the the polarization between the two main ideologies in the country has just has just gotten so far.
And I'm gonna I'm gonna venture off into something real just for a quick second here, which is they say that the average life span of a of a republic is about 250, and that's where we are right now. And, if you if you look through history and you look at probably the the the greatest republic that ever existed was Rome, Rome had very, very similar problems within itself at the time of its collapse. Alright. Rome had wide open borders, which we've had. Thank God we don't have them now. I think we got I think God gave us a little bit of a reprieve, but you had wide open borders. They had their military spread throughout the entire world, or the known world at the time.
They had incredibly high taxation, incredibly high regulation, unchecked and unfettered immigration, Very, very similar things. I mean, I can go down the whole checklist, but very, very similar to the things that the that The United States is going through, this American Union is going through. I don't know how, and I I hate to say it sound fatalistic, I don't know how much longer the country has as a as a as a union. I think what's gonna end up happening is at some point, because of the polarization, because of the far extremes that are that are coming through. I mean, the left has become totally unhinged.
They have embraced the far far left. You're talking communism, socialism. You have, back in my hometown, you have, you know, the Democratic nominee for for mayor in in New York City is an outright avowed communist. Talking about I don't know if you've heard about this one, but but talking about making grocery stores in the city city owned and operated. Well, there go your bread lines, you know, and just socializing every aspect of society. And then you have the invasion that came in through the southern border right through a lot of it where I am right here. And then you see these riots break out, where you see these these these people that are standing on top of cars, burning buildings, burning cars, and waving foreign flags, and that's the left.
That's what the left is looking for. That's what they want. So I I I I and and the differences between the two, I mean, I I don't think there really is a Republican party anymore. I think it's like it's all one big party. I think that what president Trump has carved out with the MAGA movement, I think it's fantastic, and I think it's great, and and I and I would hope that it's going to take a deeper root, and and really, you know, make some positive change here. But I'm not a 100% hopeful. I'm not positive that that's really gonna happen. I personally see that because of all the polarization, because of all the problems that this country has, it has gotten so big, so massive, I don't think it can work anymore at the way it works. That's why I have this flag here behind me, and that's why I have this flag here behind me. Because I really think that the solution that's gonna end up coming about is that there is gonna be a breakup of the union. I think states are gonna kinda branch off on their own and become and I'm gonna use a very deadly word. I don't mean it in the context that you might think, but they're gonna break off into these little confederacies, and they're gonna build up, you know, a mutual compact to take care of themselves. Right now, as it stands, there are 25 states in this union that have, that have, secession legislation working its way through the legislative process.
25. And not not all red states, you know, the red and blue states. New York has there are some counties in New York that wanna secede and go up into Canada and become part of Canada. You have California is actually close is the closest state right now to declaring its independence from the union. Texas, you know, right behind it. I'm part of an organization called the Texas Nationalist Movement that we're working through the legislative process to declare Texas independence. And we're very close. 60% of Texas poll are in favor of it. So if this actually became a ballot measure, Texas might actually be on the right track to lead the but that's what all this polarization that we're experiencing is leading to, actual discussions on these issues. And it's a it's it's a difficult time to to to think. It's a scary time in a lot of ways, but it's a hopeful time too. Hopefully, I I don't know why I'm going on this rant. Just shut me up, Will. Just say joke. Okay? Whatever.
It's there there are it's it's inevitable that that there's gonna be some major changes coming through here, through this country, which direction they're gonna go. God, I hope it's not gonna be to the far left. Mhmm. You know, and of course, you don't wanna go to the extreme right either because there's issues with that too. K. You know, you want balance, you want stability. I'm trying to look at the right words. You want the balance and stability, you want the government small enough and doesn't affect your everyday life. Like, for example, when I use all the time is why is it important for the government to regulate how much water is in my toilet?
[01:40:12] Unknown:
Right. You know? No. You you make you make a lot of incredible points, Joe, and and I just I I will say this because I wanna inject some hope into this conversation. And and and and it and I don't mean that you're you're you're, you're you're bringing anybody down and and certainly not me. But but one one thing I do wanna say is well, first of all, I don't wanna shut you up because I'm just here I'm here to to listen as much as I am to talk. And, and I and I that's that is always a a big thing for me is the idea that we, we need to listen or than than than we talk, in in most cases.
I will say this, and I think Abraham Lincoln said it best, but, you know, a house divided cannot stand. Mhmm. And and the the reality is this, is I love this country. I think this is the greatest country that that God ever, had a part in in putting together. I think this country was was created and and has stood, based on divine providence more than anything. I agree. You know, the reality, of the thing is is I don't wanna see The United States Of America break up. I think, I think we I think it would be an absolute disaster, in most respects for most of the people of this country.
You know? It's the the The United States Of America is not our government. That's correct. The United States Of America is we the people. It's we the people, Joe. And and the reality is if we break apart into several call them, you know, independent nations, confederacies, whatever you wanna call them, unfortunately, that will not end well for anybody. Not your kids, not my kids, not your grandkids, not the people of Texas, California, Illinois, Michigan, Minnesota. It's going to be an absolute disaster. There's also a couple other things that I wanna talk about because the reality is is polarization is and will remain the one problem. Toxic polarization is and will remain the one problem that ensures all other problems do not get solved. Agree. Okay? Now there are a lot of people out there on both sides of the political spectrum that have a vested interest in keeping us, we the people, divided. Mhmm. It's a horrific thing, but it's an absolute fact. Agreed. But we are not, as a people, nearly as divided as the people in the media or the people in our politics would have you believe.
You know? People need to understand that the solution to this problem is in the conversation. Mhmm. You talked about shutting you up, Joe, because you were going on a rant. This is not about shutting anybody up. It's about having the conversation. Well, I just meant that in the context to get back to you. This is about you. No. That's that is absolutely alright. Like I said, one of my favorite things about the business that I'm in, Joe, is my ability to listen to people. Whether I agree on a little bit or nothing at all, whether I agree with a lot or nothing at all, it's always about listening. Listening with the intent to understand, not to respond.
I want everybody that's listening to the Joe Russo right now to understand that it is so important for us to have conversations with people we disagree with, but have those conversations not with the intent to change their mind on anything,
[01:43:53] Unknown:
but with the intent to understand how they got to where they are. Exactly. And that's why every show I end at and if you I don't know if you've heard it or not, but every show I end, I end up with keep talking. You have to keep talking. That's the thing. And just to go back too, just to say this for a fact. Look, I love this country. I I think this is the greatest country in the world. As a matter of fact, on Sundays, I do a Bible study show, and I'm I'm in a series right now on America's Christian heritage. Mhmm. And I started well, I started before I started getting into specifically American Christian America's Christian heritage, from the revolutionary period going forward, I started off back in biblical, politics in the Bible, and then the Christian's Bill of Rights.
And and then I went to, talked a little bit about, Governor Bradford and the whole purpose of coming here, you know, on the Mayflower, and and the the challenges that they faced, and the misconceptions that they that that people are taught today in school about it. And then I'm going into, on Sundays, the all of these, starting with, Lexington and Concord, going back to historians that were actually current to the day, and going back to their telling of the stories, because obviously they're closer to it, they have a much a better understanding of what was going on at the time.
And, they don't have they didn't have a political bias or a spin to it. They just told you the facts of what was going on. And to go back to those things and then to read the letters, and I and I share a lot of this information on the bible studies, the the the spiritual heritage that this country has because of our founding generation. The founding generation is always we're always told, oh, they were deists, they were they were atheists, they were agnostics. That is absolutely not true. Absolutely not true. George Washington was baptized by a Baptist pastor named John Gano in the Hudson River, and if you try to find that information anywhere in secular history, all you're gonna find it's a myth, it's not true. Well, no, it's not. It was witnessed by 40 people including the pastor's children, and it was documented, you know, very extensively in, in in the church records in in New York.
Mhmm. So our country has and and I was gonna tie it all together with this. Our country has a spiritual heritage. The the the the way that we're and and the reason why we're struggling the way we are is because we have turned our back on a lot of that spiritual heritage. We have drifted so far away from God. We have drifted so far away from the word of God. We we have tried to reform this country into a purely agnostic, or secular, or even atheistic country, because we wanna be like Europe, which is so lost in that in that regard at this point. It it's I don't Right. You know, it's terrible.
Until we get back to where we should be in in in our relationship with God and the word of God, we're gonna have problems. We're gonna have struggles because God's gonna withdraw his blessings. The Bible's clear on that. The Bible talks about it in, in reference of course to the nation of Israel, but the but the application is there. You know, at some point, you know, the the alien is gonna come in and is going to start taking your jobs, and taking your food, and taking your property, and taking all your stuff, and then why? Why? Because you are living in rebellion to God. That's that's very important lesson for us, especially as as Christians. We we need to look at that and see that. You know, unless unless America turns itself back to God, we're gonna continue to have these kind of problems.
And, I mean God I hope, you know, I'm I'm very I'm very comforted when I see this generation growing up more conservative, or embracing conservatism more than they do the liberal mindset. I am very encouraged when I see on, on YouTube and other places like that where, you have these auditoriums of of of young people coming forward to an altar call at a church service, or or or a Christian rally, or something along those lines. I am so encouraged by that. That is such a blessing to see.
[01:48:13] Unknown:
You know? It is.
[01:48:14] Unknown:
So spiritually, you know, there needs to be a a revival in this country. I think that we can have one. I I disagree with some there are some Christians out there that say, well, you know, revivals are done. There's there's, you know, it's not gonna be I I don't think that's the case. It might be there might not be those large scale like like Whitfield, you know, revivals around the country like like back in those days, but they're individual revivals. You know, the individual coming back to Christ, and that individual going to somebody else, and that catching on to the somebody else, and then traveling that way. I could see that taking place as a, as as a type of revival for sure.
And I and I and I see that progressively going through, and I use that word carefully, progressively going through this generation, and it's it's incredibly encouraging. But socio politically, I don't know. I I I would like to I would like to see the country survive in another two hundred fifty, three hundred, four hundred years, you know. But that's all up to the Lord, you know. It's it's it's in his hands. It's it's whatever he decides is best for us, and we have to accept that and and put our faith and trust in that.
[01:49:26] Unknown:
That's right. God has a plan, Joe, and and and I firmly believe that. And and, you know, when I go to church on Sundays and and I and I I hear the the the number of people over the week that said yes to Jesus Christ as their lord and savior, and and, yes, they are going to follow and and things like that. I mean, it it is it is very encouraging, and and you always wish it could be more. Right? Yeah. You you always wish it could be more. You know, going back to the founders and and things like that and and people with with their revisionist history and and trying to say that people were, you know, atheists or or or agnostics and and things like that. Even those that were, if if you look hard enough and and and it's not even that hard. But if you look if you look or or take the time to look, you'll you'll find or or they will find that that those that that did not necessarily believe in, a a Jesus Christ as the Messiah.
They they did understand that there was a a spiritual component and some kind of divine providence Yes. That that played a part in, the founding of our country and the way that we got through certain things and different events. And if you look back to the history of The United States Of America, there are some very defined and and forgive me. I can't think of them at the moment. But there are there, I mean, there are books out there that talk about certain events that that are just I mean, Washington crossing the Delaware and able being able to do the one thing you know, that particular event,
[01:51:08] Unknown:
the way that he did, was was one example. Right? And and Well, I I have one for you. I can give you right now very, very quickly. We talked I talked about it last week. When, when when the when the American, the colonial military had to leave, had to evacuate Brooklyn Heights, there was no way that they were gonna be able to do that because of the the British blockade. And, but of course, interestingly, that night, a very thick fog rolled in unexpectedly, which gave them enough cover to get them get the entire army off of Brooklyn Heights into Manhattan Island without the British even seeing them. And then in the and then in the morning, the an an unusual low tide to where the British actually had to lift, had to raise anchor, set sail, and and leave and get out of cannon range because the tide was getting so low that they were gonna be grounded.
Right. So so, I mean and who controls the weather? Who controls the tides? Who controls all those things?
[01:52:10] Unknown:
Yeah. Well, in that in that that one particular instance, I I mean, there were a number of things like that Yeah. That changed the course of the war. Yes. Right? And and and there were other ones during the civil war Mhmm. And and and or other examples that that took place during the civil war. And and and then there's just been a number of different things. Sure. And we could go on and on about that, but the importance for for people, to to understand. And and one thing that I want people to understand, Joe, that that is that is so hugely important when we think about this country and the importance of keeping this country, together, right, is is don't ever believe that any one particular group like like, you know, we we often get caught in when we talk about politics, we get caught in these traps of saying, well, the right does this or the left does that or or, you know, the right believes this or the right believes that. No group out there, Joe, is a monolith. Of course not. They're just not. Yeah. And and people get caught up and pretend to believe, you know, the left will come out with an article and and and say, well, this this this and this is is is happening because the right has made it so.
You know? And I'm sitting back here as a Christian conservative thinking, I don't know one Christian conservative who believes that what you just said is an actual stance coming from the right. You know? And and I'm sure that well, I'm not not I'm sure. I I'm absolutely positive that there are people on the left who say the same things that that different right political pundits say about the left. Yeah. Yeah. You know? For sure. The reality is if we do not you know, another thing, that that Lincoln said that was so so incredibly important. You know? He says, I do not like that man. I must get to know him better. Mhmm. You know? If we are going to stand as a country and we are going to fight back against this toxic, partisan polarization, we must have more conversations. I like the fact that you say, keep talking.
You must keep talking because if we're talking, we're not fighting. That's right. You know? I love the idea of conservatism. I love The United States Of America. I do not wanna see it broken apart because of my kids, your kids, your grandkids. It will not end well, so we need to lay down our swords, keep our mouths, and and our our ears open, our mouths only speaking with when we when we absolutely need clarification, understand how people came to believe what they believe, and we will get a lot further than we will if we start to break apart. I agree. Hey. We're at the 09:00 hour. Do you wanna continue on? Or I I got a few more minutes, brother, if you do. I mean, I I'm,
[01:55:08] Unknown:
I, yeah, I I can go for for just a little bit longer and Okay. Yeah. I just wanted Yeah. I I I'm cool. Alright. Cool. I I just wanted to touch on some some aspects of your faith and your family. You know, as a Christian husband, as a as a as a Christian dad, how did how did those, personal roles shape how you show up in in in work of, of a national unity? We kinda touched on that a little bit here, but, the formal question.
[01:55:33] Unknown:
So I I've I've had a a very, I will say, tricky, relationship with God and and my Christian faith Who has it? For for a long time. Right? And and, you know, I I think, I think one of the, one of the the relationship things on some of the social media platforms says it's complicated. Well, for a lot of my life, Joe, it was very complicated. And and and, you know, I was born a Christian. I was baptized. And and and throughout my life, there were periods of time where I'm like, there is no way there could be a God because if there is, he hates me so bad that that I I I have such a hard time believing that that somebody or some entity that's supposed to love me hates me bad enough for me to feel the way that I feel all the time. I know you mean. And and, so I I I will tell you that that was was very tough.
And and for a long time, I I had to work through that. And, and and there were a number of different things that happened over the course of my life. We we talked about divine providence and its its role in in of this country and and in the survival of this country. But I will tell you, Joe, that there have been a couple things that have actually happened in my life that could not have happened without divine providence. Now with with that being said, I still fought tooth and nail to say there can't be a god. There can't be, this this guy that died on a cross for my sins and washed away my sins and and things like that. But but he never gave up on me. Mhmm. And and, and and now as a as a husband, and and a father and and seeing the just the beauty of, of God and God's planet and God's plan and and how, the the the familial structure that he built with a man and a woman and and how children, you know, come from that and and and everything. So how does that show up for me, or how do I show up for him?
Again, I go back to, you know, being a good husband, being a good father Amen. Countryman, doing everything that I can do to to try and, serve my country again, by by working with braver angels and and trying to to mend our, our our our fabric, the fabric of our nation that that so many people have torn apart. I think it's I think it's a duty. I think God has put me here. So how do I show up? I show up every day, Joe, to try and bring people together when there's too many people out there trying to tear us apart. That's beautiful, man. That that's a great way to put it. I appreciate that. Thank you. That's awesome.
[01:58:49] Unknown:
Where do you see, Durate the Hate heading in the next few years?
[01:58:54] Unknown:
Well, if the past several years has has been any indication, it's gonna keep on growing. I I mean, we we we, we aren't gonna run out of people anytime soon that are are trying to tear us apart, so we've got a long long and hard road ahead of us. But, Braver Angels has has been gracious enough to to bring me on as as part of their full time staff. I've been a volunteer leader with the organization now for That's awesome. For, for quite a long time. And and, and and but just volunteered a lot of my time, to that organization because, because we because we were so mission aligned.
And, and and now I've got an opportunity to to do this as my full time profession. I'm I'm still doing the D Rate the Hate podcast. So so I I anticipate the D rate the eight podcast to continue to grow at a at a pretty good clip, as it as it has been. And, more than anything, growth doesn't matter to me nearly as much as, mission accomplishment. And, and and the mission, Joe, is to to keep our country together, to show people that we are better together. There's a better way to engage. We don't have to sacrifice our principles or who we are to, to to do this. It's about providing the right message at the time, to the right people. And, and, so, yeah, what what's gonna happen with derate over the derate the hate, over the next couple years, It's gonna continue to grow, and we're gonna we're gonna win, and we're gonna keep fighting until we do win. Alright. Outstanding. And we'll make sure that we
[02:00:31] Unknown:
push you along the way too. We're gonna do the best we can here. And, alright. So where can the audience go to follow your work, listen to the podcast, learn about Braver Angels?
[02:00:41] Unknown:
So to learn more about me personally, dratethehate.com or wilkesworld.com. That's where you can find a lot of my personal work and the Derate the Hate podcast. There are also links there on dratethehate.com to get to braverangels.org. Braverangels.org is where you're gonna find out more about America's largest cross partisan grassroots organization working to mend our partisan divide, right, about about civic renewal and how we can work together as citizens to, to bridge these partisan divides. So braverangels.org is, is where everybody where I would like everybody to go get involved, get involved in this movement.
And, if you wanna go subscribe to the D Rate the Hate podcast, that's a bonus. Dratethehate.com.
[02:01:34] Unknown:
Will do. And, I think I think we have Braver Angels as the link, in the show notes for you, but I'll double check that. And if it's not, I'll I'll add it to it. No problem.
[02:01:44] Unknown:
Yeah. Braverangels.org.
[02:01:46] Unknown:
Alright. Well, Wilk, thank you so much for being with us tonight. I know you wanna get going, so we're we're gonna let you go. I got another maybe twenty minutes to go for the show. I gotta do my closing and all my shout outs and all that stuff. So, again, thank you so much, man. I love the conversation. I didn't get to half of the questions that I have for you. You know, we we just kinda rambled. So that that was great though. I loved it. I appreciate it. And if you're interested, you wanna come back on again, let me know. And, we'll carve out a day for you where we can do it. And, we'll give you the love to, brother. The show for just just, just the two of us. No other guests will do that. Alright. Yeah. That sounds great, man. Anytime. Just, just hit me up. Let me know, and, we'll do her again. Will do. I will do that. Alright, folks. Wilk Wilkerson, thank you so much, brother. You have a great night. God bless you. And, hey, check out the, the Bible study show Sunday.
God bless you, man. You too. Take care, Joe. God bless. Talk to you soon. Alright, folks. What we're gonna do here is we're gonna take a short, short break, and then when we come back from the break, we'll do a quick run through all the announcements and all that stuff and, wrap up the show. Folks, this is a live show Monday, Wednesday, Friday, or just weeknights 7PM central time. Don't forget Saturday show 3PM central. We'll be talking I'm sorry, 12:00 central. We'll be talking about crypto and, the wrap up of crypto week and all some some great new predictions of, some some great purchases you need to be looking at very carefully. And then also Sunday's Bible study show at 6PM central time. Alright, folks. So, back in, like, two minutes. Alright?
Again, the Jarew Show. Like, subscribe, share with your friends, your family, and your followers. We'll be back right after this. Stay with us. Alrighty folks. Welcome back to the Joe Root Show. Hour number two in the books. Starting hour number three. Not gonna be a full hour though, I promise you that. I am tired. I got the kids here in the studio with me at the moment and they are hungry, they're gonna wanna eat. Gotta cook for them, gotta get something to myself too. Alright. Wilkerson, what do you think folks? Let me know, drop comments down below, email us [email protected] or go to the website joeroos.com and use the contact form, either way.
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Can try to refresh it, but I don't think it'll work. Let's try. Alright. Is that any better? We'll see. Alright. Let's see what else we got. So programming announcements, email list, let's do that. Let's try that out. Get yourself on the mailing list and, help us to, keep in contact with you guys. That's the important thing. Alright. Again, we're not gonna sell your information out. It's not gonna go anywhere. We're not sharing your information with anybody. It stays all here with us locally, and, you're not gonna get spammed. We're not gonna sell you anything. We're just going to, let you guys know any changes to our schedules.
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Click on that contact section. Send us over any comments and questions you have. And folks, listen, make Texas independent again. Go podcasting. Keep a steady stride and keep talking. Good night folks. Goodbye. To you. Keep smiling until where. Who cares about the clouds that we're together.
[02:13:57] Unknown:
Just sing a song and bring the sunny weather. Happy trails to you.
Introduction and Housekeeping
Guest Introduction: Jim Hyde
Jim Hyde on Coaching and Imposter Syndrome
Core Values and Neuroscience
Guest Introduction: Wilk Wilkinson
Wilk Wilkinson on Personal Accountability
The Mission of Derate the Hate
Faith and Family Influence
Future of Derate the Hate
