Disorganized Productions "Chaos creates Harmony"

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Welcome to another episode of the Disorganized Productions Podcast, where we explore the depths of personal growth and the journey to self-discovery. I'm your host, Rob, and today we have a special guest, Melanie Chesnut, a single mom, military veteran, martial arts specialist, and the creator of The Wolf Mother coaching group. Join us as we delve into Melanie's incredible journey from serving as a K-9 handler in the military to becoming a beacon of empowerment for women through her coaching initiatives.

In this episode, Melanie shares her experiences in the military, the challenges she faced as a woman in a predominantly male environment, and how she overcame personal struggles to find her true self. We discuss the importance of creating a clean and safe space, both physically and mentally, and how this reflects on one's life and mindset.

Melanie opens up about her journey of self-discovery, the power of simplifying life, and the significance of facing one's fears. She emphasizes the importance of community, connection, and the role of women in shaping future generations. We also touch on the spiritual aspects of life, including Melanie's practice of Gendo Reiki and the influence of Eastern philosophies.

Join us for an inspiring conversation that explores the themes of resilience, self-worth, and the pursuit of a meaningful life. Whether you're seeking motivation or simply looking for a relatable story of transformation, this episode offers valuable insights and encouragement.

https://www.instagram.com/the.wolf.mother/
https://linktr.ee/ladygraymayhem

Book: the 4 agreements
Be Impeccable With Your Word, Don't Take Anything Personally, Don't Make Assumptions, Always Do Your Best

Outlander: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFFKjptRr7Y

All my links:
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[00:00:00] Unknown:

Skip me bridge like squirrel, baby.   What we're dealing with here is a total lack of respect for the law.  

[00:00:11] Unknown:

Well, I'm a walking middle finger   with love.   Welcome, fellow human, to the disorganized productions podcast.   The show that fuels your spirit,   ignites your potential,   and helps you become the best version of yourself.   I'm your host, Rob,   and each episode,   we'll embark you on a journey to unlock the power within you,   tap into your limitless potential,   and conquer life's challenges.   Hey there, fellow human.   Real quick, but   a big question from me to you. There's an opportunity that I will fly to Peru   in October   to,   to get into the jungle,   with some real indigenous   native   Indians.  

And,   there is a group   that is going to do Ayahuasca   and cambo.   Cambo, I already talked about it on the podcast   and also on my TikTok channel, but Ayahuasca is something new and I wanna share,   with you my insights and my experience   about   doing these ceremonies   in the middle of the jungle.   But I got a question for you, a big favor to ask, to be honest with you.   To make this trip happened   happening,   I will need a little bit money.   And, this is a little bit begging, I know,   but this show isn't sponsored by   big sponsor or advertising and stuff like that, and I wanna I don't wanna do that.   But,   I just wanna ask you a favor and look down on my link tree   where there are some,   several options   to sponsor   this show by buying a t shirt or some cool merchandise like mugs and stuff like   that, or,   well, donate to my PayPal,   Patreon, and, well, there were a lot of opportunities to sponsor this show, to make it happen,   and to get this awesome content   out.  

Thank you very much,   fellow human, from the bottom of my heart, and,   hopefully, you're gonna enjoy   the   great   new episodes   that are planned for disorganized   productions.   Thank you and have a beautiful morning, a beautiful day, or a beautiful evening no matter where you are on this beautiful plain planet.   Thank you.  

[00:03:19] Unknown:

Ladies and gentlemen, fellow human, welcome to another episode of Disorganized   Productions.   Today, we have a special guest. She's a single mom of 2.   She, was in the military   as a k nine handler.   She is a martial arts specialist, I can say.   She does know a lot about homeschooling,   and I think she brings her kids also up with homeschooling, right?  

[00:03:48] Unknown:

Yes? I'm sorry, we do Montessori, so it's very close to homeschooling,   but not quite. I'm working on the homeschooling.  

[00:03:55] Unknown:

Right, so you're an art teacher   on a Montessori school.   You do practice,   since your 17th,   Gandhi Reiki,   which is   also from the Japanese government, one of the only the only Reiki that's been   could be out there, right? I don't think I would pronounce that.   Senzai Aikido,   and you're the creator of The Wolf Motor, which is a coaching   group of women   about rising   their   children.  

[00:04:32] Unknown:

Yes.   Yes. So, thank you for that introduction. That's awesome. Please welcome  

[00:04:38] Unknown:

Melanie Chestnut.   Oh, welcome to this organized productionist, Melanie.  

[00:04:50] Unknown:

Thank you. Thank you so much for having me, Rob. This is awesome.  

[00:04:54] Unknown:

Right?   You're from, from America and you have   quite a story. And,   I was looking at your website   and,   one of the first things I saw was you deserve to live   and work in a clean and space   and and safe space.   Just touch base on that. How screwed up   are we living nowadays   in schooling and in society?  

[00:05:22] Unknown:

Oh, man. It's,   it's amazing   how   screwed up it is once you once you really just take a step back and, you know, examine it just from a a blank mind and just take it all in. You know?   And so that that quote that saying for me comes from a place of the home is a reflection of the mind.   And so   when you walk into your home, how do you feel? You know? It's are you able to navigate your home   freely? Is there clutter everywhere?   Does the art on the walls reflect your soul and your spirit,   or is it pretty generic, something that you just bought off the shelf at a a mainstream store?  

[00:06:06] Unknown:

Mhmm. You know?  

[00:06:07] Unknown:

What what is your mind? You know? It's reflected on your walls   and, and the rooms that you have in your home, and so,   you know, are you able to find the things that you need if the lights go out? Mhmm. You know? Can you buy new flashlights? Can you find your gear or whatever it is you need to navigate that situation in the dark?   You know? And so that's a reflection of the mind and the soul. You know? When you hit a dark point in your life, do you know where those things are to help pull yourself out of it? You know, those tools because   we all hit those dark points, and sometimes they hit us like like a crazy storm. And before we know it, there's no power, and,   you know, everything's black. And how are we gonna get out of this situation? You know? And so   if you have a healthy mind, you can navigate those   those crazy waters. You know? Right.  



[00:07:00] Unknown:

And in this,   I just   got something like, okay, it's like Jordan Peterson said, like the 12 rules of life.   You can't tell anyone   what to do or whatever, or you can't rule about people or tell them what to do if you, if you not have a,   cleaned up home by yourself.   It's an, and it's also a self fulfilling prophecy because where you're getting, going your home   and it's like one big mess,   it gives you that bad feeling, that bad spiral. Just like, oh, now I'm going to do that tomorrow. The dishes, no, I'm going to do it tomorrow. So it's going to only staple up together with the laundry, together with this, together with that. You don't feel happy at home.   You're gonna reflect that to other people, to your colleagues, to your friends. You don't wanna invite friends.  

Yeah. You don't you   know?   Yeah. There are a lot of people living like that, I think.  

[00:07:55] Unknown:

Yes. It's really interesting.   I'm an entrepreneur, so that means a lot of,   trial and error. And,   a lot of businesses that I start and they don't resonate, don't work out, So close them down, try something else. You know? And I have no shame there. Life is trial and error. Fail fast, fail often.   And, that's the beauty of it. We can always make a pivot and try something else. And so   one of the more recent endeavors that I've done with my best friend is we have this cleaning company.   And, it's really interesting   to,   you know, go into that and to see how people live and to know, like, people that use strong chemicals,   you know, and things like that. Okay. How how is their home? You know, a lot of times, there is a lot of unnecessary   filth,   unnecessary clutter. You know? And then, one thing I've noticed is people that use,   no chemicals in their home cleaning, you know, their homes are they're different. They smell different. They have you know, they're they're more   unique   Mhmm. Which is something that I find very fascinating. The homes have such a unique feel, everyone that you go to.  

And a lot of times when a home has a very unique feel, there's not chemicals in it. You know, people   respect their body and their space and their environment, and so they're doing what's healthy and and what helps them have the most mental clarity and peace.   You know? And and removing these things is so important, and this is definitely a learning experience for me. You know? I mean, I I I after my divorce, I went through this thing where it was like I didn't have anything. You know? I left everything. I left 65 acres,   20 chickens, 15 gold with 3 horses. I mean, a 2 acre garden. Like, I left all of that   and started over, and it was like I couldn't get enough stuff. You know? Like, I felt like my home was so empty, and, you know, I'm a nester. And,   and before I knew it, I was like, where is all this stuff coming from? Like, I have so much clutter.  

You know? Right. And then I sat with it, and I was like, this is a reflection of my mind. I can't focus on anything.   I'm overwhelmed with things, you know, that have   very little actual importance in my life.   You know? And so I I really had to sit and, like, reevaluate   my habits.   You know, what are my habits? Because about once a week, I'm gonna go to some cute little store and and buy some things that I don't need, and then there they are. You know? Right. And so,   it was I mean, I had to learn how to cut that out of my life. And so instead of going to the store, I would, like,   go pick a new trail to walk on, or,   you know,   instead of, like, buying something at a store, I would go to a place where you make something, and then you bring that home. You know? So you have Which you're lost   in.  

Yes. And, you know, I'm supporting local and you know? So it's this conscious   how are we spending our money thing, and that really   made me think. You know? So I've I've really taken my time, and I've gone room by room in my house, and I'm cleaning out. You know? And so   I've done that with my home, and it's definitely getting better. And then it's really interesting because as I grow and evolve as a human and spiritually, especially,   I've noticed that, oh, it's time to reevaluate   my home again. You know? So,   I've just kind of hit this new spiritual growth point, and and so I have a new perspective of how my home operates, and it's a living organism as well. You know? We've got   humans moving and constantly, like, growing, you know, children doing things,   and so I'm I'm really clean I'm cleaning out, and I'm getting other stuff. You know? And what what   provides me with the lifestyle   that I want, that I can thrive in. You know? These are just things. They're just tools, so they're not gonna stay stagnant in my home. If I'm not using it, it goes.  

Right.   And once you get a good healthy living environment, you know, that motivates you, it it's a game changer,   because for me,   you know, getting up early, I thought joining the military, oh, man, I'll finally be a a early bird. You know? Like Right. Oh, yeah. No.   No. No. That didn't do it for me. Never. No. Never. Resonated.   And so I get up every morning, and I have to, like, defeat that thing in my mind. It's like, just go lay that down. You know? Right. It's every   it's not Out of the comfort zone every morning just to get up. Every morning. You know? And so where I make my tea and my coffee and my things, I have all these quotes. You know? And they're the quotes that, like, really resonate with me. So one is that   you can't think your way to good living. You have to live your way to good thinking.  

And, man, you know, you just have to just put one foot in front of the other and do it.   And so that's that's really, been a game changer for me.  

[00:13:05] Unknown:

Right? How many steps do you walk backwards in your whole life? I think you can count that on normally, like a normal person,   like you can count it on   10 hands, maybe, like 100.   But, you know, when you're backing up, okay, of course, that's a natural thing, you know, but   even if you stand still for a while,   if you're in hard times,   the first step you do is always   upfront,   never  

[00:13:38] Unknown:

back. Oh, I love that analogy.   Yeah, that's powerful.  

[00:13:43] Unknown:

So look, we're not going there. And and our thinking when you said with the with the,   chemical cleaning and with the,   let's say, natural cleaning.   As you pointed out, with human also,   I use   like deodorant and a perfume, and I had warmer hair, so I used shampoo and all that stuff.   Even wash detergent and stuff like that.   Never again. Like more than 2 years now, I wash only with Aleppo soap, which is olive oil and almond, I think.   As for odor on my shirts and stuff like that, so like deodorant,   only baking soda with coconut   oil. And the funny thing is I can wear my shirts,   like, well, almost a week,   as strong as I prefer to say, because words are stealth. So almost as strong, but you don't smell them. They are just like, okay,   it's a used t shirt. But when I used to have like the ax and all this stuff to deodorant, it's like the first day, it's like,   boom,   what? You don't throw that away or just more ax on it. More   deodorant on it.  

Yeah. With the washing, I use this, these are like, little,   little balls,   and I think it's volcanic.   And they take out everything,   like normal   degrees and of normal debris and stuff like that, when it's not too dirty.   And it smells good, it smells normal. I don't smell like a tropical peach.   I'm sorry.  

[00:15:23] Unknown:

You know? Yeah. Why should you? Right? Oh. It's not, it's not normal. It's not. Exactly.   You know? And when you actually look at,   fabric softeners   and   even detergent now, if you take a black light and hold it up to clothing after it's been washed in that, it reflects.   It's reflected. It shines bright. So they're actually putting these crazy chemicals into the laundry detergent to make it reflect light so that it appears cleaner.  

[00:15:57] Unknown:

Why do we put that under the pop up when somebody is going to hunt you with a, with a,   what's it called? With   a,  

[00:16:08] Unknown:

a bright side. You know, when night vision's like, oh, there he goes, missing detergent. It'll pop. This this beeping light is so clear. Yeah. I'm telling you. You know? And it takes 26 seconds for something to hit your bloodstream after it's, like, on your skin.   You know?   So what you're saying with the the deodorant, man, like, how powerful is that? You know? My my mom   her mother passed away from breast cancer, and so my mom did a lot of research about what we put in our armpits.   And so since I   started using deodorant, you know, as a child, you know, it was very much no aluminum, no antiperspirant.   You know? And you can't find that in the women's section. You had to go to the men's. You know?  

And, and then on my own research as I'm, you know, growing older and and really diving into this stuff,   I buy my deodorant from a local lady. She makes all of it, and it's all organic,   and then essential oils and there's no no chemicals at all. It's in a cardboard tube. You know what I mean? Right. Right. It's really interesting you say that about the shirts because,   I thought,   something was up because,   for years, I was told that I stank, and this person, I think, was just truly gaslighting me, and I was like, well, I don't smell it. Right? Mhmm. But, like, apparently, you smell it, so,   you know, I was like, well, maybe I do steak, and I asked my girls all the time. They're like, no. No. You don't steak and I'm like okay well I'm trusting you you know so I know you don't want a mom you know so you gotta tell me because I really it's like I genuinely was gaslit on this   and so with the t shirts   I've noticed the same thing my t shirts don't smell   so, yeah, same thing. Like, I'll have, like, my 3   3 shirts that I wear for that week, and and that's it. And it cuts down on laundry. It's efficient.  

And, you know, like, some people are like, oh, it's weird. You gotta wash your clothes after one wash. Do you know? I mean, do you? Because   I personally   don't think so. You know? Right. I mean, depending on what it is. Like, if it's underwear or shirt, that's different. Right? Yeah. So don't wear underwear. That's that's that's the whole thing.  

[00:18:24] Unknown:

You you can skip one wash out in it too.   But it's really funny because when I was a sales manager for 25 years   as a sales manager, traveled the world, stuff like that. So when I packed my suitcase, it was every single day, a new shirt, a new   trousers, and all that stuff. Not the suit,   but the skirt, all that stuff, the blouse   and all that stuff,   new socks. So when I went   to a 2 week   motorcycle   vacation or holiday to Ireland,   I came with my motorcycle.   Well, it was beautiful to be honest with you, but I came with my motorcycle just like I had a tank package,   totally full.  

I had 2,   side packages, totally full, and 2 rolls   full of clothing and stuff.   And these guys coming, you know, hey man, are you ready? Yeah, I'm ready, I'm ready. And they just like, one big roll,   packed it up their motorcycle, and just like, are you ready to go? It's just like,   where are you close?   Well, in there. Where's your tent?   In there.   Where's your   inflatable,   what's it called, your,  

[00:19:41] Unknown:

Mattress?  

[00:19:42] Unknown:

Mattress, right?   It's in there.   Oh, we will be right, you know?   And then I said, how do you do that? Because I got we were 14 days out there. So I had 10 pairs of this, the socks, 10 pairs of underwear, 10 pairs of shirts under it, 10 normal shirts,   a long sleeve, a hoodie.   No, we just have   everything divided to 3.   I said, So you have 3   trousers, well, 3   socks and stuff like that? Yeah, because she can wash it. And I thought,   oh my God, they're gonna wash their clothes?   I never thought about that.   I never thought about that. Just like, okay, you got, you pack 2 pair of socks, then you wash them. And before   I just like,   wow, I had my complete wardrobe   with me   on my motorcycle,   and you don't need it.  



[00:20:43] Unknown:

Right? I mean, how much luggage do we carry with us that it's just like overkill?  

[00:20:50] Unknown:

Yeah. But it's the same now when I'm, when   I realize it now, just how many t shirts I have, how many t shirts do I wear? Like, I got a few favorites,   but I probably I can throw away like 20 of them. Never wear them. Just like, oh, wow, great concert. I got them in the closet.   What are you going to wear? Never ever. What you want to wear? The ones that fits good and that looks good or whatever.   That's it. So I think that's also something when   what you said,   when you change your life about your lifestyle, about the materialistic   stuff,   that what do you really need? Right?  

Okay, so maybe you need a car,   but does it matter what kind of car? Should it be $200   or should it be just like $1500 and it brings me from A to B, and that's fine. I mean, I can drive,   Right?  

[00:21:43] Unknown:

Yes.   Yes. How much how much of your life are you giving up to have this thing?  

[00:21:49] Unknown:

100%.  

[00:21:51] Unknown:

Yeah. Because the goal is freedom and love and and joy   and,   just to show up and be grateful to be alive. And and that means being able to simplify your life.   You know? And you can't simplify your life if you have 200 T shirts that won't fit in your drawers. And then, you know and, I mean, I've been there. This is speaking from experience. Right. You know?   And so I have a tote, and   if that's a T shirt from, like, a concert that I truly valued and great memories, but I don't really like wearing it, I put it in this tote,   and I'm making a quilt.  

So I have a t shirt quilt of the memories.   You know? Yeah.  

[00:22:34] Unknown:

Yeah. So Culture was for  

[00:22:36] Unknown:

meeting. Do what? What concert was it? Oh, Maiden.   Awesome. I love Coheed and Cambria,   and,   I don't know if you're familiar with,   in this moment, but that,   that band,   while,   you know, for my dark chapter   coming out of that,   you know, a lot of times, it's like you have to have   music that really resonates and connects with you in your darts. You know, and you're like, man, they understand   this this where I'm at.   Uh-huh. And so in this moment now, I don't really listen to them because it is very dark music.   But sometimes if I'm peeling back a new layer on that topic and I'm healing from a different layer of where I was at with that that insane   just deep dark space, I'll listen to it again.  

But, they have this song that's called horror,   and that song,   every   line in it just resonated with me, and I was like, wow. Like, I   get this, and I understand   this is actually a reflection of my life right now. Uh-huh. And,   and so I watched them live.   And I mean, like, I mean, like, tears just coming out of my face, and I was, like, feeling all the emotions that,   you know, I I I kind of, like, walked down, you know, and and truly just wanted to, like, ignore.   Mhmm. But I let all of them rise up as I'm watching this band live. But, I mean, it was just, like,   you know, to feel the vibrations of the music and, like, look around me and how many people this song just, like, deeply resonated with. I mean I mean, we're talking hundreds of people are just, like, singing every line. It was like, yeah. Like, I I had been there. And   so I'm, like, crying and, you know, feeling all these insane things, and I just released it. You know? I released all of that, and,   and, it was so healing for me. And so,   with the concert so when there's a song that resonates with wherever I'm at, I try to make it a point to go see that band alive and just listen to that song. Mhmm.  

Just, wow, what a powerful healing experience it is.  

[00:24:54] Unknown:

And it's it's it's funny, but because I was just thinking about I was   Guns N' Roses fan and stuff like that. When you went to the concert, everybody was was chanting,   and the vibration   and the frequency,   because that's it. You resonate with the frequency of the dark side, of the love side, of the enlightened side, whatever side you have, or resonate   with that song or that band   with them songs, just like, woah,   that's a deep one.   Or,   when you are on a funeral or on   a honeymoon, or what's it called? Wedding.   Like a wedding. When you hear that song,   when that song pops up, it always is like, oh, yeah, you remember then? They were looking beautiful, or we're sitting there, and the, the, the, the, the. You got all these things implanted in your system, and I really like that. And especially what you said with the resonation of,   when something   like a dark   chapter,   you can close off, but because you resonate   and you match with   the things that have been sang   or by the music that's been played.  

And I think that's so powerful that   when you're looking at very old stuff,   like, the churches and chanting that day in the monks, and all that stuff, they do that all the time. We forgot to do that. We just like,   I go to work. Where? Right. Oh, I got to sleep now. We got to eat now. We got to eat from sleep, preach, all that stuff.   But how many people are listening right now to this podcast and think like, okay, I'm going to turn on some music. Well, if you listen to the radio, I don't. But if you listen to the radio and you hear that song, where you think like, oh, it's only 50 miles an hour here normally, but now, oh my God,   I'm speeding right now because of the song.  

If you're listening   to ACDC on a, you can't, you can't. You're just like, oh,   I'm just cruising around with 30 miles an hour with ACDC. No way, dude, you   gotta smash that. You know, right?  

[00:27:02] Unknown:

You gotta plug it. Yeah.   Yeah. And I love that you don't listen to the radio. I don't either,   and I've actually   gotten in this mindset of I listen to different frequencies a lot,   or,   instrumental music or   inspirational   speakers. You know? Right. Because we're at, I truly believe, such a pivotal point in our history,   for the world and that we are the creators now.   And so if you truly want to create the life that you want, if you want your   what's going on up here to become reality, well, you have to figure out what's going on up here first and get a very clear vision so that you can take action and make the steps   and create a reality you love and you want and build a community and a home and a family and all these things. You know?  

And   so I don't want music to dictate   what I'm thinking. Mhmm. You know? Because you go with the lyrics and the words. Just like you're saying, it kinda guides you. And so when you have different frequencies with different intentions, even as you're driving,   you can have such a better   mindset, and you get to show up and create the narrative. And how do I want today to go? And let me think through this. And, you know, and so it's really very intentional living when you do stuff like that. And I think it's just it's truly   a a game changer.  



[00:28:31] Unknown:

Yeah. Yeah. But but, like, the the the old rap, like, say, the the 0 point the 1.0,   always music like Metallica Guns and Roses, the metal stuff, the punk stuff, always music.   And old television,   television, whatever.   And then all of a sudden my television went down, and I had something like, okay,   what am I going to do when   I'm going to buy me a new television? Probably going to game all night. I wasn't into   the TV stuff, but gaming. Just like, how many hours do I spend on   getting a perk up or stuff like that? You know, we just, oh, I got into the boss level or whatever.   What? Well, maybe I should do something with my life. So maybe I shouldn't buy a television.  

And then I only had a computer, like, okay, you can watch movie, YouTube, all that stuff. And most of the times when I looked at YouTube,   I think 80% or 90% is just like information.   Oh,   I want to figure out how to fix this in my house. Just   YouTube, and just like, there it is. There are 20 people, 40 people, 100 people telling you how to fix a light bulb   in a car or whatever.   Just like, oh, wow, I'm going to educate myself   while I'm looking at some stuff,   and now I'm educating myself listening to a podcast when I'm driving.   As a courier, I drive a lot.  

Okay, let me get something about ancient aliens, whatever the fuck.   Put it in, I'm just like,   all right, oh,   that's interesting. Oh, that's bullshit.   It's entertainment, but it's still just like, oh, wow.   Or,   yeah, just like   when I listening to Ben, I did I did a podcast with Ben too. It was Incredible.   Yeah. Yeah. But I like the the   the knowledge and the wisdom that people have, and the path that they went through, and the path they are going to. Because we're all trying to reach that goddamn mountain, no matter where you are. But there are so many paths to it, and some people crumbling down a little bit, that they just have to hold on someone. It's like, come on, buddy.   You can make it, sometimes you're going to fall down. It's not like, oh,   that's the way. And just like in Switzerland, you got   these, I don't know what it's called, these lorries that go up. Wow.  

Out of them, you have to sit down, he's like, okay,   well, I'm not gonna sit down. You know how high that is? That's nothing for me, I've gotta walk.  

[00:31:10] Unknown:

Yeah. Yeah. No biggie.  

[00:31:12] Unknown:

Right? Just like, out of the comfort zone, well, you got to climb up the mountain then. Well, that's probably better than falling down a few   hundred feet, right? But the thing   is,   we all can learn so much with interacting to people. And we were talking   too, about it when we were hopping on this podcast about how easy it is to communicate with someone in the USA, me in the Netherlands, like Europe.   And it's just like, okay, bye. And we have a connection, we can talk, we can communicate.   15, 20 years ago, when you rang somebody in the USA,   I don't want to pay that bill. It was like 100 of dollars to   get a phone call to here.  

Let's say you gotta   see each other on a television screen or whatever. It's   tremendous how that works.   What do you think? Truly.   What do you think   I just want to skip branches a little bit, because you were in the military.   And would you please   tell the listeners a little bit about your   career in the military? Because it's something, like, mind blowing, to be honest with you.  

[00:32:25] Unknown:

Oh, wow. Thank you.   Yeah. It's it's one of those things.   I, had really simplified my life,   and so I had one mission. And for me, that mission was to see combat.   So as a martial artist, I grew up I started   when I was 9. And   and Shun'Tai hot keto, the mindset is conquer the self, conquer the world.   And so you show up to class every night, and you're just there to conquer yourself, to just break through, to to perfect techniques. You know?   And so   when you go through and you go to perfect a technique, a huge part of that is perfecting   you,   your tool, you know,   what you're using to execute the technique. So, you know, we would have a 2 hour class, and   a large portion of that class was physical training. So, you know, push ups until you couldn't do push ups anymore, sit ups until you were, like, running outside to vomit. You know? I mean, it was like we we didn't do that every class because you can't,   not to build healthy muscle, but there were certainly classes where it was like, okay. We're training to failure today, and it's really gonna suck.  

And and when you train to failure, you disconnect   from your emotions and from what you're feeling, and you just become a machine, and you just fight through the pain.   And so I grew up doing that,   and, you know, the true warrior tries himself in combat. That's just that's a known thing. And so for me,   Shunsei hapkido is a very traditional martial art. It's very eastern. So,   you know, we have,   I am,   4th generation from a man who came over from South Korea.   So this is very,   very old school tribal mindset   type stuff. So it's designed to raise leaders. And so Mhmm. My house structure made very clear that, you know, when you   are raising the next generation of leaders   in not only Shandt and Hapkido, but in the community.  

You know? And so I really embodied that and took that responsibility on at a young age, and and what is a good leader? You know?   My uncle, he retired out of the army,   as a major general, a 2 star general,   and so I had a very good example   of a good leader. Mhmm.   And and when you look even at good political leaders in our history,   most of them have served in the military.   Having experience with   a military mindset and understanding   how that   even the rank structure works   is a very important tool,   when it comes to leading large groups of people. And so,   that's something I knew. Like, the marine corps was college for me, you know, and the goal was to seek combat. And I knew as a female, it was gonna be incredibly hard for me to   get into a combat zone. You know?  

And   even with that mindset,   you know, we're all human and primal beings. And so for a female to be deployed with men in that type of environment,   is that a hindrance or a help? You know? And so I was answering these questions a lot along the way because if you join to serve, well, you better serve. You your job is not to cause chaos and make it harder.   And so,   I I really drilled myself, and I I   practice and practice   and, you know,   it's, it's what you do on the hard days when when you wanna shut down and not show up. Those days are the days that get you ahead. You know, when you show up in your training on those days,   those are the ones that really count. You know? You,   I believe it was Muhammad Ali said that he didn't start counting his sit ups until they started hurting.  

You know? And and   that is is mindset you have to embrace if you really want to take it to the next level in in those types of situations. And so,   I joined the marine corps, and, initially,   you have to become military police in order to get k nine.   And so,   I was explained when I went in that you would get military police and that if you did really well at military police school, then they could, like, pipeline you into a unit as k nine. Mhmm. So you just show up. You do your best, and then, okay, here you go. Here's your spot as k nine. You know? We get the top ones of the class.   So I go on to military police school and with this mindset.  

And so, I mean, I'm, like,   giving this   everything I've got. You know? At this point, I didn't have female friends.   You know, I mean, I had, like, acquaintances,   and there was 4 of us 4 of us per room. So, you know, obviously, I'm talking to chicks and stuff, but their mindset was not mine.   You know? I didn't other woman there that was like, I'm here to   get canine to get into combat. You know? That wasn't a mindset   chicks had. So   great women, I still keep up with a lot of them. It was just a different mentality.   And so,   I became class leader of this of the my military police class, and so I can't remember if it was 54 or 73.  

Either way, there were 4 females and the rest were dudes.   And so,   for 3 months or 6 months, I'm sorry, it was like, alright. You know, I'm leading these guys. And   even just in a schoolhouse setting because this was very much just the schoolhouse,   it taught me a lot. It taught me a lot about leadership and how to   show up and   earn the respect of young men,   you know, because this is you can't speak it and get respect. It's all through your actions and how you live your life and they see, you know, and and when you're living that close like they see everything, you know, and so   there was this, I remember towards the end of of the schoolhouse,   I was a chick, you know, and it's like the guys had the guys' barracks, the girls had the girls' barracks. Well, you know, they were getting kinda rowdy because everybody's ready to be done. Right. And, they knew, like, girls aren't allowed in the guys' barracks. You know? And I'm like, you know what? Like, f that. Like, you guys are getting rowdy. I'm responsible for you. So I just go over there, and I'm, like, banging on the hatch, banging on the door. And I'm like, I'm about to come in. You guys better be dressed. And, like, I'm gonna check-in on all of you.  



[00:39:03] Unknown:

And, like, I just, like, scream like, I am announcing this.   And, so I remember the first time I did a walk through, they were like, oh, shit. Like, she just came in here, you know? And I'm like, yeah, I did. I know. Yeah. You guys are doing what you're supposed to, you know? There's no more getting away with this.   And, you know, if I'm your class leader, I've gotta lead you. I've gotta make sure you're doing what you're supposed to. And I know you guys are sneaky.   You know? And so I am too. You know? Like, I get it. And, so  

[00:39:33] Unknown:

then they were like, okay.   She's really not messing around, you know? And then we would have runs. And if you'd fall out of a run,   you lose respect   that's just how it is so if it's a formation run you stay in the formation it doesn't matter how bad it hurts   you know if you fall out of the run everybody knows   and then people are taking notes. You know? Like, you've gone through the pain. So, you know   and, so I learned very quickly, like,   wherever position I start in the formation, that's the position I better end. And so   to ensure that everyone knew I didn't fall out, I always held a position towards the front.  

You know, and so as class leader, like, you could kind of fall in wherever. You know? If you were a guide or something, you had a particular spot, but for me, like, I would choose my spot and make sure, like, okay. I'm leading from the front.   You know? I'm not asking you guys to do anything I can't show up and do. Right? Right. And,   so that was the mentality. And so we go to graduate,   out of the schoolhouse,   and,   my instructor sits us down,   and he's like,   man, the heaviness, you know, because he was canine also,   way back, and he had he had done some combat deployments. And   there's this movie, Megan j Levy, and,   he's actually   one of the characters in that movie is him.  

So he deployed with her, their friends, and, like you know? So my instructor at the schoolhouse, just a awesome, awesome dude, great leader.   He helped me so much through that whole process and just really developed   my leadership skills and treated me   with   so much respect, and,   it wasn't   unfairness in any way. It was it was just very solid. Like, I see you. You're no BS. We're here to do work, and I'm gonna help you grow.   And so we're still friends, actually.   But,   so he sat us all down, and he's like, hey.   They had changed how they're operating, and it's no longer pipeline to canine.  

And I'm like,  

[00:41:47] Unknown:

you know,  

[00:41:47] Unknown:

like, you're kidding me. Like, you are kid I just, like, busted my tail. I've done all this, and now I'm, like, gonna be regular MP. Like, this is not this is not it. You know? Right. And, I didn't I never joined to just BNP. Like, it and so I'm like   you know? And he looks at me and he just knows. You know? I was like Mom. And so Korean.  

[00:42:10] Unknown:

Yeah.  

[00:42:10] Unknown:

And so,   can't change can't change it. And,   so I get stationed in Okinawa, Japan,   which is   wow. Okinawa   is   truly,   paradise.   The, the culture there is incredible. You know, you   you I remember driving,   you know, on the left side of the road and everything and,   and seeing construction workers, and they were all in the same uniform.   And,   it was very loose pants with you know, gathered at the bottom, and they looked like very light cotton, almost made out of, like, blue sheets or something. Just very light, hairy fabric.   And I remember, like, driving by and watching them all, like, stretching.  

You know? And they're all stretching, all of them. They're in a row stretching before work. And I was like,   how much sense does that make? Like, these guys have a very physically demanding job. They are building things. They're using their whole bodies. And Uh-huh. Here they are, all a whole crew of dudes, and they're stretching. I was like, this is genius. You know? Right.   And, and they're truly they're the oldest living culture in the world that that we know of. And so,   and so it's like I just really started studying how they do things, you know, and there is they do. They, you know, they will bow and, you know, they show respect, and it's it's so incredible   to be in a community to where people they just simply look at you. I see you.  

You know? Right. I   Nice. Respect me. I honor and respect you,   and, you know, it's just very and and even not being able to speak their language,   the communication was still very clear,   you know, and it was through actions and through this common courtesy and disrespect   and, you know, just the way they do things culturally was is so different and incredible. And even you know, I do not eat fast food.   That's   a   I was doing it occasionally. I would eat fast food, you know, over the last couple years, and then over the last 6 months, I've just cut it out completely. Like, I will just go figure something else out. Fast food is no longer gonna enter my body.   And so,   yeah.  



[00:44:33] Unknown:

Audi McFlurry.   Yeah.   It's a even gonna get   sorry for that.  

[00:44:41] Unknown:

No. It's it's,  

[00:44:42] Unknown:

my weakness is the French fries. Okay. I love French fries.   Love the French fries. The soup string McDonald's French fries. Me and you know? And,   so the French fries over in Japan, they use a different kind of oil to cook them in.   They   everything. Their rules are different   and   I or they were this was over you know over a decade ago now so I don't know how it is but back then it was and you would get that hot thing of french fries and oh my gosh it taints it was amazing and you didn't feel like crap after It didn't mess up your system. Like Right. Everything was cool, you know? And, and   so, yeah, when you have French fries made well like that, man,   they were good. So that was, like, my my treat to myself,   and my boyfriend at the time would take me through. You know? That was like he's like, I know he won't. That was like You know what? You could do it on Friday night. You know? Gonna get some French fries. Yeah.  



[00:45:40] Unknown:

Sure. In a car. No no TV or no movie, but it just the French fries with the with the, of course, with the McDonald's sauce. Right?   Yes. We didn't get that one for free here in the Netherlands.   I've heard that. Yeah, you know why? Because otherwise, when you're entering   a restaurant of McDonald's,   probably   a few people take all the sauce. Like, oh, that's easy peasy for at home, because we don't have any sauce at home. We're going to take the whole bunch.   But you have to pay the sauce in the Netherlands.   Wow. And normally we don't put the, well, on McDonald's, you put the McDonald's sauce on the French fries.  

But in the Netherlands, it's a very famous thing to put mayonnaise   on your French fries.   And that's why,   one of the movies from Tarantino,   which was it,   with the girl, with the- Is that full, is it full fiction? Full fiction, yeah. Yeah. One of the first lines was, you know what they're gonna,   you know what they   put on a French fries and answer there? No, what the hell are they putting on there?   Mayonnaise,   What? Mayonnaise?   Yeah, we do that. We got We got several Yeah, we like that. You know, like the greasy stuff.   If, but I don't eat normally.  



[00:47:04] Unknown:

Not now. Not anymore. But please go. Right. Not as before. French fries, bangles,  

[00:47:10] Unknown:

fast food, we just were, you know,   drifting off a little bit.   Only a little bit. Oh, I just thought about my my flurries. It's like  

[00:47:23] Unknown:

I can Yeah. I just make it homemade now. You know? I've gotten really good at making French fries at home. So I'm gonna try some mayonnaise now. I'm definitely gonna do that.  

[00:47:32] Unknown:

Yeah.   Especially   the the the the the greasy one. Not not like, when it's too much, oh, what's what's the ingredient?   So so it's normally eggs and and and,   vinegar. Well Not much vinegar because otherwise, it's gonna be be   no. Should be   just try it. Okay.   I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna try it. And maybe you live somewhere across in America where they have this Dutch store food when you can purchase Dutch products?  

[00:48:05] Unknown:

Oh, I will look that up. I bet we do. I've got a couple of big cities around here. I bet we could find 1.   Mayonnaise.   Dutch mayonnaise.   That's   yeah.  

[00:48:16] Unknown:

What do you use it normally for? Mayonnaise, like salads or?  

[00:48:21] Unknown:

Sandwiches.  

[00:48:23] Unknown:

Sandwich. Okay. Oh, yeah. If  

[00:48:25] Unknown:

you if you put mayonnaise, which I'm very particular about the kind of mayonnaise I buy now because the oils, you know, but,   the mayonnaise, if you put that a couple spoonfuls in your cake,   it makes it super moist.   So just a little mom bacon tip.   It's a game changer.   Wow.   Yeah.  

[00:48:47] Unknown:

My dad used to brew his fresh,   grinded coffee with a few flakes of,   Hagels flakes. So, what's it called? Chocolate chocolate chips.   We got   it's Hagel's slate is something from the Melas too. I'm remembering now. It's like,   chocolate flocks   you put on your sandwich. Yeah. But he did a few of them just in the coffee. So you have this little coffee with a little twist of of of chocolate, like a mocha.   Just a little twist. Oh, nice. Yeah. Just like   you know, it's like cooking at home, but not cooking.   No. Just making a little bit better.  

[00:49:26] Unknown:

Yes. I mean, that's creating your reality. You know? That's like Right?   That's it. Making that magic.  

[00:49:33] Unknown:

You know? It's the little things. It's the little things. And I love what you said, a few a few minutes back.   We recreate our   own reality. And,   we have the right to do that because we all have a crown.   What's a crown? You know, a king   or queen wears a   crown. And this is a temple right here.   Is our temple.   And my kingdom is when I open my eyes, I see my kingdom. So I rule over my kingdoms. I decide what's good and bad, what's in my kingdom.  

[00:50:07] Unknown:

Yes.  

[00:50:08] Unknown:

And I think everyone should wear his crown or her crown or actual whatever,   what they never nowadays go with, with pride. I see it goes spilled. I   just I just  

[00:50:24] Unknown:

look oh, what Yeah. You have to. If you don't take pride in what you're doing, why are you doing it?   Right.  

[00:50:32] Unknown:

Like Sometimes you have to fall hard to get that lesson learned.  

[00:50:36] Unknown:

Oh, man. I have face planted hard. I see that. Yeah.  

[00:50:43] Unknown:

But it must once.  

[00:50:45] Unknown:

But it must be great to be like in Japan   and see these people, these workers as you mentioned,   with their stretching,   like Tai Chi.   And you were doing Reiki at that moment. You knew Reiki before that,   right?   Like when you were 17.   So it must really connect like, oh, wow.   Probably some people would see some GI Joe's like, oh, look at these little puppets, you know,   stretching. And they have   to construct something. And you would think like, woah, that's the deepest   root of this   country.   You know, and Tai Chi is eventually is like kung fu.   If you're very good at Tai Chi, you have to be very aware. Even if it's an old lady of 85 years old, she can kick your ass with that, because it's all about,   the mind and the fluent   of the Chi,  

[00:51:40] Unknown:

Right? Wow. The energy trans The energy? Yeah.   Yeah.  

[00:51:46] Unknown:

Talks about energy.  

[00:51:49] Unknown:

What about finger and timings?   Yeah. Yeah. But Yeah. So Is that freaky? This,  

[00:51:55] Unknown:

Reiki is,   gandai Reiki, like you said, is the only form of Reiki recognized by the Japanese government. So,   I've recently,   been certified and and found some in well, I I would say they found me some incredible Reiki Gandai Reiki masters, and they've truly become mentors for me   and really good friends,   just in all facets of my life because they're just incredible humans. But,   you know, at 17 is when I initially learned Reiki and, you know, the chakras and the energy flow. And, you know, it's it's   it's very tied into a true eastern martial art.   You know, it's the spirit, mind body spirit mentality and having all of these things align in our system spiritually   and mentally and physically. And, you know,   and so going over there and seeing just like a Reiki shot on the main strip, You know?  

Like, what? You know? This was, like, 15 years ago. Like, you didn't really see   that,   well, it's 14, so, yeah, you didn't really see that   here. You know? Like, that wasn't a thing yet. It wasn't really as popular yet, and but it was very normal,   to see the chakra stuff and, you know, to have the different energy.   This an actual acknowledgment   of it. You know? It was very   pertinent. And   and so it was it was really cool to see that and experience it in a culture.   You know? And, and so that was I just love going out and adventuring around Okinawa, you know, on the weekends   and, or even in the evening.  

But yeah. So I got out there, and,   it was, like, 2 months in,   and they held a k nine board.   And,   you know, at this point, like, I made some friends and then,   you know, had a little community   of people kind of, you know, with the military police thing, and and so,   it was a field unit, so they had you have 2 different kinds of military police. One's field, so it's like this is the guys that deploy overseas, and they're in charge of, like, you know, the fob security or route security   or personal security, right,   or there's PMO, which is, like, on base security, and so that's, like, where you're policing   your own,   and so,   that was just not really what I wanted, and so when the board came up, I'm like, I'm going at it, you know, and some people, I mean, I got a lot of flack for it. They're like, oh, you're too good for us now and blah blah blah all the, you know, all the crap trying to keep you from going on the board, and I'm like, yeah, Screw you guys.  

Like, this is my goal. I'm not changing that for anyone. You know? And so   I went on the board and,   you know,   I didn't realize at the time how truly blessed I was with my experience,   because,   that particular unit and I believe a lot of k nine units are this way, but some really, really good leaders.   I mean, just truly next level   gentlemen that knew how to   follow their intuition and they were grounded in their faith and, you know, they made good decisions. They made hard decisions. They communicated clearly, and,   you know, so I walk in the the room for the canine board, and it's me and 4 other guys, and,   the wait was intense. I mean, the energy level was, like,   just it was powerful, and it and it was like, okay. You know, if you're not serious, you better just turn around. You know? Like, these guys are not here to BS because,   canine be lead from the front and, you know, as a military working dog team, it's you and your dog, and that's the team. That's it. You and your dog. So you may train with other canine   guys in your canine unit. No problem. But when it comes to getting deployed, it's just you and your dog. So you may go you may fly over there with, you know,   3 other   teams or 10 other working dog teams, but then once you get there,   you're attached to somebody else. You're attached to gruds or you go, you know, I had a friend he worked with the British special forces, you know, and then   a lot of the times if he were going to deploy with,   MARSOC, he would go train with them for a few weeks at their stuff, you know, and then deploy out with that team. So there's different ways it happened, but,   ultimately, like, you were separated from your dudes, You know? So, like, their whole job and they knew the weight of this was to make sure that each one of us was ready to be that leader.  

You know? And and you have to be able to call the shots, and, you know, your lower rank as a dog handler, you know,   past d 5,   you know, you may not be handling a dog for real. You know?   The 6, like, you're probably not. You know? So it's the lower ranks that handle dogs, and so that means not that much experience leading. Good.   And so they knew, like, you know, you they had to pick leaders. They had to pick people that would   be able to look at an officer   or an officer or someone with higher rank and be like, hey.   My dog is not capable of executing this mission. Mhmm. You know? We're gonna have to revisit this or, you know, come up with a solution with them and be able to have those really hard conversations   and really challenging environments   and at stand ground and know how to clearly communicate what you're trying to say. You know? I mean, there's a lot of pressure there. And so the board reflected that,   and,   and   it was awesome. I mean, I just truly trusted my intuition and and answered the questions. And,   so,   they called us all back in after everyone went through and and announced that I had one and one other guy. And   and that was   a very pivotal   moment for me   when one of the the guys pulled me aside, one of the guys on the board, and told me, hey. You know, we've got,   a chick in the kennels already. We're really not looking to add another chick. You know? We were looking for,   you know, a specific   kind of person to be in canine, and it's very important for you to understand that   you answered all these questions fair and square across the board. So you got this spot.  

Don't let anybody tell you it's just because you're a chick,   basically. And, and I'm like, okay. Thanks. You know? Like, thank you, sergeant. Like, you know? And and now looking back on it, like, I really needed to hear that.   And   it takes a good leader.  

[00:58:40] Unknown:

Yeah. It was not a political   decision of, male, female in the crowd. It was just you did really the good job to be picked out.  

[00:58:52] Unknown:

Yes. Yeah. And,   you know, sometimes   we don't really understand   a situation, but a good leader who has been there is like, hey. This is what this person is going to face, so I'm gonna have these conversations with them to set them up so that they know how to navigate   what's ahead of them.   Right. You know? And that's what he did. He set me up and gave me that good conversation   and so that I had the confidence   to know how to show up because   I got a lot of flack. I mean, not initially,   but once,   once I started beating   my male peers on runs   or handling   situations better or, you know, becoming truly competitive, and it this wasn't everything. And I truly I I mean, I PT twice a day, so we PT'd as a kennels.  

We did our physical training, and then at night, I I went and worked out after that also.   You know, and there was a there was a small group of dudes who did the same thing. Right? Like   and and not everybody did. You know? That was your own free will. And so Right. You know? And then you took this that category.  

[01:00:03] Unknown:

I'm I'm poor. Why? I'm I'm gonna train, but you're you're off. No. I'm gonna train just just just to feel the pain. Yeah.   And and to be honest with you, Melanie, just to be honest with you, I think it's really hard because you're not only   a woman   in a male   environment in the military,   but also a good looking woman.   That's something that's   you have to   you have to prove yourself more than once. It's not only like, oh, I can   go around with the guys.   It's also like, okay, maybe I'm pretty, but I can beat your ass anyways.   I think that's that's a double stack that you have to deal with in that situation. Am I right?  



[01:00:51] Unknown:

Man. Yes. So so right.   It's like every day, you know, every day. And and   who who are you gonna be today?   Because it's very much a choice. It is very challenging,   you know, because,   at the time, it was 82% male.   And so just the the natural organic way that humans are supposed to exist was very off. It was very thrown off.   And so I learned very quickly that,   you know, I I had come from being a cosmetologist, so I was a cosmetologist   for a year,   before joining the marine corps. And in that field, I wore heels every day and had big, crazy, awesome hair and, you know, I dressed up. Like, I love fashion, and it was very expressive. And, you know, that was, like, everyday work. And, Right.   And I made money doing that. You know? And so I learned, like, oh, no. No. No. No. Like, there's some certain clothes that I'm just not gonna wear here.  

Not wearing heels.   I'm not you know? Like,   this is not how I present myself anymore. So I really, like, reevaluated   the clothes I brought, and I thought I had done a good job to, like, weed things out.   We did some more things out, you know, because   I it's very important for me to have respect around here. You know? And if I'm dressing like I'm looking, then,   you know, that's what I'm putting out there. So   I really had to reevaluate   that   whole thought process.   And and, yeah, it was every day. You know? We have PT, like, okay. I gotta push through. You gotta push through. You gotta show you earned it today. I earned it today. I earned it today.   Because when you're truly growing,   it's like like I said with those sit ups. Then you don't start counting till the pain starts. You know? And and that's the mentality   that you have to have. And,   my good friends, my brothers, you know,   I still keep up with a lot of them. You know? I, like, stalk them on on on the socials. We, like, oh, great.  

A lot of them are pretty good kids now, and they're, like, the best dads and husbands ever. And I'm like, oh, you know, I knew you'd be a great dad and husband, like, you're just awesome, you know. Nice. And,  

[01:03:02] Unknown:

like, my plaque you get a plaque a lot of times,  

[01:03:06] Unknown:

as a going away gift when you leave your unit,   and, mine, it's Melanie Mama, is my nickname.   So   I was I was kind of the mom of the group. You know? Wow.  

[01:03:17] Unknown:

Wow.  

[01:03:18] Unknown:

I would do bare haircuts  

[01:03:20] Unknown:

and stuff. You know? Like, I mean, they were they were my dudes. You know? Right. And, not all of them. Not all of them, but my group. Yeah. We I got a whole new metrology. Now I can sew that.  

[01:03:32] Unknown:

Give it to mom. Please.   Side.  

[01:03:36] Unknown:

Yep. Yeah. My barracks was all the way at the end of the top hall and on the left. So, yeah, you just knew. Go to that one. But,   and I knew which guys I could go to, what I needed really on in this feedback. You know? Like, what's what's going on? What are you guys seeing? You know?   You know, my going away speech was terrible,   and I knew it was. And,   there was a couple guys that were like, oh, yeah. You know? And they just, like, acted like it was fine. And I'm like, you guys are full of shit.  

[01:04:05] Unknown:

Yeah. So now I I can't trust you here at the end.  

[01:04:09] Unknown:

But one of my good buddies, he was like, well, it's pretty rough,   but we all knew your intention behind it. And, what you meant was really awesome.   Wow. You just couldn't verbalize it well. And I was like, I love your honesty.  

[01:04:23] Unknown:

You know? Like, thank you. I that, you know, I just needed to know that the message  

[01:04:28] Unknown:

came through even though it was really rough, you know, because I I cared about all those guys and leaving was   was challenging.   And,   they say,   there's a lot of us that, like, Okinawa is just a special holds a special place in our hearts. You know? So if you were canine   in Okinawa,   like, it's just a place that you just are gonna hold near and dear to your heart for the rest of your life. Right. You know? And so it was just a truly,   very special thing to be able to go over there and experience that with that level of   people. And there were a couple girls, and, I mean, they they hung in there. They were warriors. I mean,   just, you know, solid women and,   truly, like,   there's,   2 men, yeah, that I served with that I really connected with, and there was some,   some women there that were just,   incredible,   and the men were incredible. And, you know, it's amazing to be surrounded by a group of people that show up every day   to better themselves   and to get better at craft, and they're passionate about the training and,   you know, being next level and being able to show up and perform. You know? And   and so getting out after   being around that kind of people   was challenging,  

[01:05:49] Unknown:

you know, because When was that?   Do what? When was that when you get out?  

[01:05:56] Unknown:

So that was   2016.   K.   Yeah.   It was really interesting.   You know, I went in. I did 5 years,   and so it was one in Lisbon. I call it college. It was my college.   And,   and then and so I went in, and we were at this place in the in our communities in where I was from in America where   racism and things like that were really we were conquering it. We were really uniting and coming together.   And,   you know, I went in, and then I served with people of all different races and all different backgrounds and lifestyles, and we got along great.   I mean, you know, when you have a calling and a mission and it's to serve your country, you know, like, you're very united.  

And, and I got out. And because of, you know, who we had in office and other things going on, it's like we slid back and racism   had become an issue again. And, like,   all of this division and, you know, the connections that we had as a community, it's like it was it was really just becoming disconnected even then.   And   so it was really   disheartening to come home to that and, like, this is where we're at now. You know? We're supposed to evolve as a community in a society, and instead it just   it slid back. And   I'm very grateful that I have   that experience and that perspective because it helped me to really   understand how important it is to think on your own feet and see things for what they are and   not follow what's trending.  

You know,   for instance, I don't know if you guys have it over there, but over here, like, on Netflix and stuff like that, if there is a man that's a main character,   a lot of times, he's really dumb,   and he's Thank you. Fun of.   And, yeah, and he's not a good leader. He's not a true man,   and the woman belittle and dog this guy throughout the whole show you're watching. You know? It's very toxic, and,   you know, I grew up if you know, to be a leader is hard. To be a man and to show up and and make hard decisions and lead a family and and be the you know, go out and make money and Mhmm. You know, bring all this and provide these things for the people you care about. Like, Like, that's challenging.   And so the way I was raised, you build that person up.  

Right. You know, because they're already facing insane challenges and adversity and people in the world that are just trying to tear them down constantly. So when you come home again back to the home,   that's where you have your love and support   always.   And so when we get through all of this network stuff that we're supposed to break down our men, when we see that, then we start emulating it.   And I truly believe that's where a lot of it's come from. It's just emulating what we see through TV, and it's so toxic. You know? We can do something like that and have a healthy relationship.  

[01:09:01] Unknown:

You you know, but it's the same thing as, well, it's not the same thing, but there are so many things that have been indoctrinated   and been pushed through   on several agendas.   Like when I was young, I'm 51 years   Windrush Young   now. So- Looking good, my friend. Thanks.   I think it's the environment. And no kids, and no stuff like that.   And as I told you, a lot of drugs. But I don't know if that's, well, I don't know if that's true, but thank you.   Yeah, when I was young,   it was long to have your dad was going to work and provide the whole family. Your mom stayed at home.   And, it wasn't always easy, but you could get 1 or 2, holidays together with the family and you could, you know, support your family as a man.  

Nowadays, you have to work with 2 people and they call it like emancipation. Like, oh, the women can work too. Yeah. Okay, fine.   And a lot of women are working, but they have to because otherwise they can't,   you know, they can't support their whole family because   it's like a living hell. And, you said it also on the podcast with Ben,   when you start to realize, especially the agenda that they're going to push right now with the gender and all that stuff,   once you're in the military as a woman,   as a female,   you start to realize how hard it is to   compete to the men, right? So, I mean, you made it through.  

But how many women can do that? And especially, also, the same thing for men. How many men can really nurture   a home for loving children?   Everybody has his own things, you know? I think a woman, when you look at a woman, she's very good at logistics.   Yeah. But when she's running a family, you can ask the woman, when is Johnny and Katie and whatever, you know, going to school or going to baseball?   They will know exactly the time, what they have to pack in their bags, when they have to leave home with the car, with all the, you know, with all   the guys running around, and you have to be aware of that and that. And   the manager is like,   what?  

Let me fix the pipe   what we're capable and how we feel comfortable   naturally   to do   and whatnot.   And I love the way you pointed out, just like, oh, I was wearing my high heels and stuff like that. I got some pictures in my head, of course, because I'm a little bit perfect sometimes.   But I liked it when you said, when you have to strip it down to, no, it's the basics. I want to be in that uniform.   It has a purpose.   The same thing we were talking about with the home,   with the normal soap, with the normal deodorant soda, the coconut oil, and stuff like that. You only need the basics to function   very well in a normal society.  

You don't have to put up the brush and to put up the hair, whatever,   to show you. Because I think that even when you're looking gorgeous, and with your hair and stuff like that, you don't care if you're going to, you know, tiger crawl, and somebody's shooting on your head. And, you know, it's like, oh, my God. You see on that hair, on my nails?   And that's something,   just like you said, it's been   pushed through like Netflix, Amazon, Prime, whatever.   Like,   the men should be sissies.   We all have feelings. We all need to express our emotions, but on a wrong way.   I love to cry. That's an emotion.  

I love to cry when I'm happy.   Today, I cried.   That's awesome. I felt it's it's it's the washing machine of my soul. Fuck that, you know. And sometimes I cry because I'm angry. It's like, fuck,   you know.   And sometimes you just have to cry because, you have to cry because your feeling sensitive or stuff like that. It's not something like, oh, I'm a man, I'm not gonna cry. Well,   are you a man then, or are you just a,   you know, like,   a machine?  

[01:13:27] Unknown:

Yeah. I just walk around in a me too because it's pretty human to cry.   And crying's   oh, my gosh. I crying is so important. And,   you know,   I can't tell you how many the best men I know. I've watched them   shed tears.   It's very human. It's healthy. It's it shows that you were in tune with yourself.   You know, you're disconnected from yourself. You probably can't cry.   If you are connected to your soul, like you said, you're you're washing that thing. You're letting that stuff flow,   and that's incredibly   important. You know? Because   it shows that you're living.  

You're alive.   Like, you care about what's going on in your life.   And that is beautiful.  

[01:14:15] Unknown:

Yeah. But when you see what they   put on,   like,   television   and advertise, like, men don't cry.   And if you see men nowadays cry, they probably have a Elsa,   blue   shirt on and have a beard and lipstick. You know what I'm trying to say? It's the most pervert way to express yourself as a man   or whatever, or   as a female. I mean, everybody should do whatever they would like to do.   But it's so,   the face that we nowadays   are being projected to, that's why I don't like to listen to   the radio, don't look at television.   You know, it's just   like me, in my kingdom, when I open my eyes, it's fine.  

It's just fine.   But if I let   all the negative or all   the stuff getting into my system,   they want you to make   a decision.   And is it blue or red? Is it black or white? Is it dark or or bright? Oops. Well, maybe it's gray.   Maybe I just don't give a shit. Maybe I don't give a fuck. Right? Oh, middle finger.  

[01:15:28] Unknown:

Does it matter?  

[01:15:29] Unknown:

Right?   Maybe I am spending entirely   too much time on this topic,   and it's keeping me from doing things that actually matter.   Man, I love that so much because one of my true,   like, biggest things in life is freedom. I love freedom. I value freedom. I truly believe that as humans, we should have freedom.   And so, you know, whoever you are, however that is for you, that's great.   You know? But   I think we need to understand the time and space of what's appropriate. So this, like, this push to, like, know what goes on in everyone's bedroom is complete crap. Like,   it doesn't   matter. Whatever you wanna do in there with   whoever, whatever, what,   however, I don't it's that's cool. Right? Yeah. Are you hurting anyone? Are you hurting are you hurting anyone?  

Like,   okay. If not,   it doesn't apply to me. Right. I don't need to know.   Right. Well, that's   right. And so we're just too hyper focused on these things that don't even matter.   You know? We're preoccupied   way over here when it's like, no. But is this   does this pertain to, like, me living my life?  

[01:16:47] Unknown:

And the funny thing is, I think you will agree.   With all the acres that you pronounced before, you know, just like, oh, 28 acres, horses, chickens, all this stuff, all this stuff like that people consider as freedom, the materialistic   freedom.   Do you feel happier now when you have less?  

[01:17:06] Unknown:

Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, that is it. So my relationship was   so unhealthy.   And it I mean, it talk about, like, repeating bad cycles. It was just you know? And it takes 2 to tango. I mean, I can genuinely say, like, I had a very solid part in my half to play in the the toxicity of the relationship. You know?   And so when   I,   you know, went to evaluate this stuff and I looked at how dark and how low I where I was at, I realized, like, wow.   You know, both of us are here in this deep dark cycle together, and, like, I can't save myself   in this relationship.  

So I legitimately had to, like, separate from the entire   environment,   from all the people, from everything   so that I could heal myself.   Mhmm.   You know? And,   man, there are some days where I'm like, if only I would have been stronger, maybe I could have, like,   healed myself and saved the marriage. And, like, you know, there's, like, all these what ifs, you know, and it's just   simply I've allowed myself the grace to not live in that headspace.   Everything is as it should be. And so   me separating   and doing what I needed to to   to heal myself   is exactly what I needed to do. And, you know, I did the best I could during that situation,   and I came to a new understanding.  

And with that new understanding, I made a different decision. I pivoted, and I left, you know, everything.   And, I left you know, to me, that was that was what I loved the most was, you know, I accept kids also, my bonus kids. You know? Like and so, I mean, it was really hard to walk away from that. And   now, yeah, I have   very intentionally   with a lot of strength and a lot of perseverance   and tenacity   been pretty ruthless about creating this life I love. So my reality now is pretty awesome.   I mean, it's it's something that I'm so proud of and just stoked about because,   you know, I'm a weirdo.  

I'm like,   I had a a very dear friend of mine call me top notch weird,   and,   man, it was like the biggest compliment ever. I was like, I will take that all day. Yes. I am top notch weird.   And so   letting my weirdness out has truly attracted   this crazy awesome group of people  

[01:19:46] Unknown:

that are also super weird. It was also unique, And it's just like Weirdo. See you. Yeah. It's like I feel like you need a little bit of a,  

[01:19:55] Unknown:

like, a like a secret hand signal or shake or something and all the weirdos. You know? Because, I mean, you're human. You're supposed to have weird little quirks and, like, nerd out on stuff and, like, you know, that's that's awesome. And and we group of people that, like,   yeah, this is their thing. They absolutely nerd out on this. You need to go talk to them about it. You know? And then you talk to them about their passion, and they're just, like, so on fire about it. You know? Like, that's an amazing conversation.   Oh, yeah. They're alive. They're doing what they love. They're following their excitement. You know? And so   for me, it really feels like I learned how to show up and be awake,   you know, and how to how to live life. And and   so I've it's definitely   to answer your question, yes. That is definitely   a yes for me.  



[01:20:44] Unknown:

Right.   And is it something that you think that,   you need some downfall or some dark   chapters   to realize   that you can change it, first of all, and the things that you got from   all the experiences in life that you had before, you   can   reinvest in them. You can make yourself, just like you said, most people when they go down,   the trick is to get up   and to   be up again.   You brush off, okay, that was, I screwed up.   I'm gonna continue the stuff that I'm doing, but a little slightly different.   And I think that,   when you go down   all the time,   it's easier to quit   than to,   continue.  

Oh, for sure. But most people that will continue   will be successful with the things that they do because they have this,   I think it was,   Tom Cruise in this, samurai movie with the Japanese. But when they did, they slow him down almost like 6 to 7 times, but he still got up,   just got up, and they were just like, look, dude,   stay the fuck down, man.   No,   no. It's not happening. There's no, and I think   when I'm listening to your story, when I see   who I got,   who I'm interacting with, a very strong, beautiful woman, but also with a lot of things that weren't coming easy.   And,   also with some past, as I know, because we listened to one of the episodes with Ben. With Ben.  

Sometimes you have to face that you screwed up.   And just like you said, you do the tango with 2 people.   And I love that you pronounce the tango because it's such a beautiful dance, and it's about love, but also about   fuck off.   It's   the   dance   is so,   it's so human like, like the compassion and the relationship between the man and the woman. Not to offend every exercise,   whatever, but, you know, just like the the interaction with it, the love, the compassion, then, oh, God, get away.   Fuck, God. And then come back, get   and I think that's that's the dance of life. Right?  



[01:23:10] Unknown:

Yes, man.   I love yeah. That podcast with Ben was amazing. He's such a good friend, and,   it's so   interesting,   you know, that this whole thing, there are so many different,   quotes that come to mind.   But the first one was as above, so below.   And I remember when,   you know,   I was emotionally addicted to my spouse.   So   for me, it was like   I craved   the ups and downs, the emotional, like, get away. Come back. I hate you. No. I love you. You know? Like, I was addicted to that because you don't realize what kind of chemicals get released when you're going through that intensity. You know? Right. And,   so that first, like, 3 months, man, like, there would be days, like, where the girls would be with him,   and I would lay on the couch all day and just, like, cry and shake. And, like, I was literally going through withdrawals.  

I did not realize that was what was happening initially,   but I was like, I followed my intuition,   and I just started driving to this was in the middle of winter. I started driving to the lake and getting in the lake,   and just resetting my central nervous system, you know, because it was completely   yeah.   Right? It was completely shot. I mean, I was frazzled,   like, just   a mess.  

[01:24:40] Unknown:

Sorry. Was it intuition or was was the first   attempt to   maybe   kill yourself, but it felt different.  

[01:24:51] Unknown:

Oh, wow. That's such a powerful statement. So, you know,   I truly I don't even use the s word. I won't even   right. Right. Because that's not an option for me. It's never an option. So have I felt like it and wanted that? And yeah. For sure. Of many occasions,   for long periods of time, that's what I wanted, but it's not an option.   And so it's like when you're at that point where that's all you can think about, the best thing you can do for yourself is to come up with a goal,   come up with a mission. What is my purpose?   You know? And so my mission   became,   how do I become the best possible mom I can be?  

And and the answer there was you cannot you could only   love yourself I mean, love someone else into the depth that you love yourself. Right? So   so I had to learn how to love myself so that I could love my girls on a deeper level.   And, oh, man, like, what a hiccup. You know? So it was like I genuinely, like, died. I would show up, and I would get in the water, and I would die to all my emotions. I would die to all my feelings.   I'm killing those.   So it gave me this such a sense of power and freedom.   Mhmm. Because, yeah, if I don't care if I live or die,   fuck this. Like, I'm getting in the water,   and it's gonna suck. And they're, oh, man. It's beautiful.  

Like, that pain was amazing.   You know? Like, I needed that. Right? Like, I needed that, and I needed to put myself through that.   And and then it shows me, like, I'm choosing the better me. Mhmm. I'm choosing this. You know? And I and so I gave myself something to respect.   And   and that's how through just, like, this grudging, like,   give   myself something to respect. Look at what I'm doing. Look down at my body and be like, yeah. I like how this is. Like,   this is cool. I like how I'm showing up right now. You know? And so it was, like, step by step.   You know? Like, I felt like chains holding me back. Sometimes just pulling. You know? And I'm, like, just, you know, going through running through the gauntlet. You know? Not running. I mean, I was crawling sometimes, you know, and I still do. Some days, I'm just, like, crawling.  

Oh.   But then and then when you you watch yourself go through life like that and choose to show up like that, it's like, wow. I really love me. Mhmm.   I really I really love how I'm showing up for life right now.   I really love this. And and so   it it taught me how to be present   and how to show up for myself.   It taught me how to tell myself no.   You know? Because we have all these excuses   and all these reasons and, you know, I I struggled with an eating disorder. So,   there was this   there, actually happened earlier this week, and I didn't realize it, where I had talked myself out of eating.   And and I had done it for so long   that I started, like, really feeling funny, And I was like, oh, wow, Melody.  

There's your excuses.   There's that. You know, you kept telling yourself, oh, I'll just put this off. I'll just no.   I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna eat. Right? So if you don't   know, if you don't set those boundaries for yourself, you're gonna be like, I'm just gonna find myself in this situation again. I don't know how to get here. Oh, it it also   yeah.  

[01:28:22] Unknown:

It also points out sorry.   It also points out how   strong your mind is about telling yourself, I'm not going to eat, I'm not going to eat. And all of a sudden you realize just like, holy shit.   I have to tell myself,   I have to eat because now   it's going to be turned around.   When we hopped on the show, that I told you like   5 weeks ago, I was doing almost everything, well, I don't know if God forbid this, because that's not our story.   But a lot of things that were, maybe could damage my health and weren't that healthy. I just feel like that, because   I am in charge of my   kingdom,   right? Yeah. But it took some time to get there. It's not like, oh, oh, no.  

I I woke up, and, I just quit it with everything. It was a it was a   transition to that point   where I could do it.   But now I have to be careful that I'm not going to, just like you say, shutting off myself, my brain,   my mental health, and stuff like that, by not allowing anything.   Because   that's the power of the mind also. Just like, okay, no, I don't don't need to eat. Don't need to eat until you face yourself. Like,   now it's really time to eat.  

[01:29:44] Unknown:

Yeah.   And and it goes back to the very first topic we were talking about, simplify.   You know, when you simplify your home and your lifestyle, it makes it easier to see the distractors and see the excuses so that you can call them out and be like,   nope, not doing that.  

[01:30:00] Unknown:

You know, it's That's a really hard thing to say for a lot of people that that easy word. Nope.   And it's it's it's something like I think it's   more difficult for, for I think 90% of the people to say no.   In a normal situation, in a normal stupid situation, you're just like your boss is asking you, just like,   would you please work,   an hour longer tomorrow?   Is that possible?   Yeah, sure.   Shit.   Hey, hon, I just got my boss and he wants me to walk an hour late. Yeah, but it's date night.   Yeah, but you know, it's a good job. It pays good. You know, we don't say like, no.   Yeah. But, oh, we expect that. Well, I tell, I told that my boss a few weeks before my burnout,   you got expectations,   dude, you're gonna be disappointed.  

He said,   what? I said, yeah, dude. When you have expectations   about something or someone,   you're gonna be disappointed.   2 weeks later, I was sitting at home and disappointed myself.   Just like, my own body, no, my mental, my mental, my, I had a defragmentation   in my head, just like a computer just like   shutting down. It's like,   great time.  

[01:31:28] Unknown:

Time.   Those are man, I feel like people   those are, you know,  

[01:31:37] Unknown:

Internet is a little bit   unstable. Is it my side or your side?   No. I think that's it again. Okay.   Yeah. I've got a little signal out here. Yeah. Well, it's sometimes   just like I said,   in the beginning, it's a little bit rough. What were you telling telling, like,   people are and then I lost you?  

[01:32:00] Unknown:

Oh, yeah. Well, it's like,   we're so afraid to hit a crashing point.   You know? Or so afraid to be like, man, like, I am low right now. You know? And   who like,   that's when you should reach out. You know? And and not to just anyone. I mean, it definitely needs to be, like, someone that you, you know, your core values align with and someone that you really trust their input. You know, you have to be very selective about what you let into your life when you're in that dark space.   But you absolutely need   to allow those things in there and understand you're at a powerful point now   because that means you've had a blackout. You're at the bottom,   so it's all in for building up. You know? And in martial arts, you know, one of the   one of the famous mentalities is that if you go up against an enemy, you never fully corner them. You you never fully, like   you you,   you always leave an extra exit.  

You know? You point leave a way for them to get out of it because then there's a plan b. You know? They're like, oh, we don't truly have to, like, fight this guy. We can just, like, squirt out the exit in the back. You know?   And so that it's a mind game. And so you do that with your enemies so that they won't fight you as hard.   And so when you apply that in reverse   to yourself   it's a game changer.   Right? Right.   I don't have a secondary exit. There is no plan b. I am facing this thing, and I'm gonna crush it. Right. You know? So, yeah, I'm backed against the wall. I'm in this corner.   Shit is real.  

It's game on. I'm all in. All or nothing.   You know? And that's when you truly make those leaps and the comebacks and the, you know, the you rebuild the foundation when that's it. That's your only option. You're going all in on it. You know? And it sounds like that's what you did. You really, like, embrace that and you listen to it and you're, like, boom, changing everything.   You know? And here you are. And here we are. Yeah.  

[01:34:08] Unknown:

Well, it it took quite some time. But the funny thing is that the people I,   I talk now about   and I'm matched with, I resonate with, are a lot of people that had the same thing. Just like they continue, continue, continue, just like a stupid laptop with all the data and all the stupid stuff. And all of a sudden just like tried to reboot it and it just crashed.   What happened? You can fix that old computer.   You can run some software on it and it's going to be all right, but you have to be careful what you're going to put in what box. And what   are you going to do with the computer? You're going to only look at TV, like YouTube, or you're going to, you're going to write a book and you're going to have a lot of words, or you're going to see a lot of porn, a lot of stuff, shit that's come and get in. It's going to crash one day, but it's all about you when you defragmentize,   when you take care of your folders,   your own folders,   then it's going to be all right. I told you when we opt on,   I never thought ever in my life   putting with drinking, yeah, no, no props, I can do that. Maybe it's going to be hard,   the social ranking, but I can do that.  

Quit smoking,   yeah, Yeah. Will be our brow. We'll do that. All the stuff with drugs, cannabis, all the stuff   porn. No fucking way, man. I'm going to jerk off. What's the minimum,   but I did.   Why   Mine over matter. My computer system, I run my computer system. That's right.   When I go to my system, I see, oh, that's   that's a folder I have to delete because otherwise I'm gonna be, you know, watching that stupid stuff all over again.  

[01:35:55] Unknown:

Yep.   I mean, and that's it. It's all or nothing. Like, delete, done, work finished.   Yeah. I know. I mean, I totally get it. You know? In in my previous relationship, there was a lot of, you know, unhealthy sexual stuff going on there, and, that was part of what I was emotionally addicted.   You know, we've been some crazy stuff we're into. And so   coming out of it was like,   woah. You know? And,   like, okay. Now that I get have this opportunity clean slate  

[01:36:28] Unknown:

Mhmm.  

[01:36:29] Unknown:

Do I wanna enter back into that?   Absolutely not. Right. Why would I start that again? You know, that destroyed me.   That was so toxic. That took up so much of my time. That controlled how I interacted with other people, how I looked at other people, how I looked at myself. I mean, it was just a dark place to be. You know? So why would I choose that again? And and   so that was a huge thing, and then it was, like,   not crave it because, man, the cravings for me were so intense. Like, this all,   like, full intensity. Like, man, I just want this thing. You know? Like a cold   turkey?  

Yeah.   Yeah. It's like cold turkey.   Yeah. I mean, that's one reason that cold water helped me because it was like, I'm not gonna go seek out something. A high class woman. I have I have values. I don't sleep around. Like, I don't I don't do one night stands. I don't you know, like, I have parameters in which I operate my life, and so I was like, I'm not gonna do that. And I mean,   you know, that was challenging. Like, how do I how do I not give in to this, you know, urge and, like, all you know? And I'm, like, hitting the cold water, hitting the cold water, going to the gym. You know? Like, I had playlist. You know? Like like, you're saying, like, I'm the queen of this castle. You know? Like, nothing's getting in. You know? I pulled up the the drawbridge. You know? The moat's full of drawbridge. You know? The moat's full of water.   Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cross I was on the fucking roof. Get it on. Yeah. I know. So I'm, like, oh, people in the game.  



[01:38:02] Unknown:

But, yeah. But it, and that was,   you made me cry, Melanie.   You really did. Because I was listening to your story, and,   I'm driving around, so I can listen to every single podcast, and it resonates or it doesn't, but most podcasts resonate with me because otherwise I would just skip them. Right?   And can you tell me about the a little bit more,   the darker story about what you were telling now about your values and all that stuff, or what happened to you.   And   the night   at the hotel   when you met this guy, just like, I cracked.   Because   that that kind of feeling   when you know that everything slipped away and everything that you stand for and everything that's in you   that made you you, and you realize that it's gonna be, like,   10 miles back   and not with you anymore.  

Mhmm. That must be fucking hard.  

[01:39:11] Unknown:

Yeah. I mean, it was like   the intensity   of this I felt in that was insane. It was the best and bolt of realization.   Like, wow. You know, everything I have done in my life, everything I fought for, all these, you know, just days upon days, hours upon   changing through and   and and challenges to become this person and then now,   I'm looking in a mirror and   who am I? Like, what is going like, it's like I literally it's like my soul reconnected   with my eyes,   and I saw myself, and I was like,   this is me. Like, this is what I have come to.   Right. What in the world? I mean, it was like I woke up, and I was like   but I had to how long   in the mirror, I mean, and seen my soul.  

You know? I mean, it was it was in it was intense.  

[01:40:17] Unknown:

The connection is, again, a little bit unstable. It's so crazy.   Oh, we've got some rain coming in here in that bike. That could be the yeah. It was yesterday too, but when it was raining here, I was soaking wet until my,   just   soaking wet. And the connection was really bad.   But we went to the moon.   But, yeah,   well, I think   that's also like   a Japanese saying.   I got   a lotus flower right here   on my arm tattooed. And it's one of the only flowers that the seed is in the soil, like the deepest of the darkest soil there is.   And when it pops open, it goes to the surface of the water.  

And when it opens up, it's the most precious flower you can find. There's no dirt on it, nothing.   And I think that the Japanese or   the Eastern   philosophy behind it is,   everything that's beautiful   will eventually be,   in the dark   to be,   or know how it's called. It it should be in the dark before it   pops open to be beautiful.  

[01:41:37] Unknown:

Yes. Yes. I mean, you have to, you know,   you know,   the thing there   or is, like, when you you look at a tree, how a tree is created. If you look each it's in the leaves, it can all span   as big and   wide as the roots wide.   Right. So   our our because in the light, we're able to shine is truly a reflection of how   little gun.   You know? So,   you know a lot of times we're operating in darkness but are we facing it and until you face it and you feel it and you move through the darkness your roots can't grow   you know and if you ground and you truly grow those roots that's when you're able to shoot through the surface of the soil   and your tree just, like, blooms. You know? And and that is powerful. The phoenix rising, the lotus. I mean,   you know, it's like and and   one thing that's so important to note is, like, when you have the surface here and you're breaking through this point right here,   for me, is always the most challenging. It's like, man, you just start facing all this resistance, and it's like you almost just wanna turn around and go back beyond. You know? And Right. It's comfortable. Starts it starts getting, like yeah. It starts getting so, like, intense and hard, and you're just like, oh, you know? And then when you finally break through that   and you start growing, it's like, woah.  

There's some freedom and there's like this little bits and there's like,   this is living. You know? This is what I've been fighting for. Now I get to express myself.   This is awesome.   And that's speaking your truth.   That's that's a hard way for a lot of people too. Just like not not only the way to say no, but also to say, like,  

[01:43:33] Unknown:

I don't like that.   How many people are in a relationship and that someone says, like, I don't like potatoes.   Okay, sure. So, they never eat in the whole family potatoes again because one person doesn't like potatoes.   Like, how crazy is that?   If you don't like potatoes, fine. I'm going to make my mashed potatoes, and I'm going to eat it in front of you if you like it or not. But I like potatoes, whatever.  

[01:43:59] Unknown:

It's Yeah. Oh, fuck. I love that.   It's honoring each person individually   as individual being.  

[01:44:07] Unknown:

Right.  

[01:44:07] Unknown:

You   know, we're also   to have our own and dislike. No yeses and buts, and that's what is our strength, meekness. You know? And that's what is beautiful about each human. And when you try to, like, morph a family into one thing, it's just, like, very suffocating.   You know? And people can't do that. You you can't operate at your best and shine your light if you're, like, morphed into   no potatoes. You know? I love potatoes. I eat potatoes. Like, I can eat potatoes with everything. But,   yeah. And and that's you know, that was a huge problem for me is that I I had, like, this,   almost like martyr mindset.  

Oh, really? Like, oh, I love you so much. I'm gonna sacrifice myself for you. You know? Like, if you want this, okay, I'm just gonna do this. You know? Uh-huh. And and I totally betrayed my own self and my own conscience, you know? And that was me. I did that. I was not asked to do that. You know? It was me making that decision. Oh, you know? And then it's like, oh, poor me.   It's for you and oh, and I could have just been like, hey.   Right. No. I don't like that. That's not good for me. It doesn't work. I love you. Let's figure out a different way, but this one's not it. You know? And and that for me was   like, oh, I there was a point in my life where I couldn't have done that. I would have been in the corner sobbing my eyes out as opposed to stand up and say no on my own behalf.  

I couldn't have done it. I mean, I had to come that weak.  

[01:45:40] Unknown:

Have have you figured out   afterwards   what what made you   to be in a in a relationship like that? Because, I mean, you're trained marine. You you you   fought and you, you did stuff with the guys, you know, you, you were,   you were,   can I, canine,   Genndi Reiki, Sanjay, high Keto? I mean, not something like, okay, yeah, well, I did my fingernails at saloon. Not like that stuff.   What what made your brain or your system trigger you   to get in that,   offensive,   dark place?  

[01:46:19] Unknown:

I truly believe that I did not feel like I was worthy   of a healthy relationship.   I did not feel worthy,   of of true genuine love.   I I didn't   it was like,   you know,   I mean, there was there was genuinely there was, like, 1 or 2 other guys that were just guys not saying that you know anything negative here about my ex but I mean I had other options right and and healthier option.   For me it was like   I'm not good enough for them   I didn't feel worthy of   of   you know,   to me,   you know, and so   I didn't have that,   that mentality for some reason.   I don't know why.  

You know? I I I don't stand that yet. I haven't, been able to reach that conclusion yet, and and I'm sure I will at some point, and we'll be glad to share when I do.   But,   you know,   I think that's a lot of our society right now is, like, we'll sacrifice ourself. You know? You're supposed to sacrifice yourself for what you love. You're supposed to be willing to completely obliterate   everything that you honor and value, you know, to be this thing for that person. And that's such a twisted way to view it. You know? You you   that's it's not that's not how it is. You build each other up in your own uniqueness   and your own beauty, and and   and you want each other to thrive in that   unique being that you are, you know, and you do it together as a team. And   and so, you know, a lot of it   it's it's really interesting to think unworthy. But, you know, if you look at everything I've done, you know, a lot of it is me showing up and genuinely, like, proving to myself, see, I did that. Look. Right. I did this. This. I achieved this. You know? I could do this. So it's like, if you look at my history, it's like I was constantly trying to prove to myself that I was worth it.  

You know? And   nothing   could there was nothing I could achieve   that would that would convince me that   I was worthy.   It was only I was, like, low in the dark with nowhere else to go,   completely unrecognizable,   but I was like, no.   No. I'm worthy of more than this.   I'm worthy of more than this. And when I finally realized that, like, after I'd climbed to the peak of the mountain, fallen down the mountain, gone through   over down another mountain, found myself in the middle of a stream with, you know, covered in brush, and I'm just like, you know,   all this downfall.  

Only then was I able to be, like, yeah. I'm I'm worthy.   I am worthy.   It   nothing I can do can prove that I'm worthy. It's just me stripped away with nothing else, completely naked here in the dirt.   I'm worthy just like this.   And and that I had to hit that point before I could believe it.   And and that's when my life changed. That's when I was like, I'm worth more than this. You know? So that's my answer for that one.  

[01:49:38] Unknown:

And, boy, there has been   quite a struggle to get there where you are right now. And I love what you do right now.   Yeah, as I pointed out on your website, you deserve to live and work in a clean and safe space.   And that's what you provide also with your coaching program,   the wolf mother.   Please tell us about that because I think that's a nice segue into   the story that you have, that we're telling about, about all the things that,   makes Melody, Melanie, right?   And,   to put it out in,   yeah, what it affected to society and to women   the the things that you, experienced, what you're doing now?  



[01:50:23] Unknown:

Yes. So thank you for,   leading into that. So,   you know, with the worthiness and and the disconnect   and, you know, all these things that we feel in our society, especially as women,   and I believe men feel these things too, truly.   Absolutely.   We are disconnected, and so what do we need? We need connection. We need groups of like minded people to come together and understand that we're not alone.   We're not alone. And the other thing we need to understand is that we're worthy. So a lot of times when you're a parent you constantly   don't wanna show up and make hard decisions because you don't feel worthy to make that hard decision and stand on your own 2 feet and say no   enough. And so until you can stand on your own 2 feet and understand you're worthy to do that for yourself,   There's no way that you can stand up and do that for your children.  

And, you know, the future   of our communities is in the hands of our children, and so it's up to us to raise them in that solid grounded   spiritual   mental physical mindset to be able to understand that they're worthy and to have healthy boundaries.   And, you know,   actions speak louder than words. So through wolf mother,   you know, we meet up and we and we talk about our wins. We celebrate, you know, the things that we're doing that we're like, man, I got that right. I got that right. You know? Like, yeah. Let's talk about that.   Right. You're awesome. You know? You're pretty cool, actually. Do you believe it? Like, let's start believing how cool we are, how worthy we are. We're pretty awesome people, actually, when you really dissect it. We're awesome.  

You know? So let's celebrate that. And then,   you know, let's talk about the issues we're having. Let's be transparent.   Let's be like, this is man, this this right now is hard, and I'm failing. And I screamed at my child the other day, and, like, I don't wanna do that again ever.   So, like, how do you guys fix that? You know? What what are tricks that you guys have with that? You know? And so we're just real and human about   this very human experience that we're having. You know? Not no one single person is the same. We're not supposed to be.   And so when you can put your heads together and maybe figure out how a child what a child's love language is, how do they communicate?  

How can we get through to them on their level? You know? Like,   that is a powerhouse. I mean, that's how you truly make   positive change. And so   Wolfloader is very much an evolving thing, and,   I'm very grateful for all the women in the group. They're truly incredible, and we do have a retreat coming up in October.   And so,   I'm working with 3 other women, and they're just an incredible team and and very strong,   tenacious,   grounded, spiritual,   and just incredible humans. And so we're coming together, and we're facilitating this a bit for other women. And,   I'm pretty stoked about it. This is our first one, but it's just gonna keep growing. So, yeah.  



[01:53:31] Unknown:

And it it's funny because there are a lot of books been written. There's no book   about parity.   None.   Man.   And as you mentioned, just like the retreat in October, I told you about,   the plans that I have for going into   the jungle in Peru.   I know that Dani, one of   the organizers   of the tour,   she's doing a retreat for women, only for women,   about getting really   into your strength as a woman. Because of course, throughout all the centuries and all the years and stuff like that,   we have a lot of stuff   stuck in our DNA.   And I'm willing to   do that also. I think   that maybe the biggest achievement for me,   my ego is a little bit bragging, but the biggest achievement for me is not for me to stop with drugs,   alcohol, and smoking.  

But my father was a big smoker and an alcoholic too. So I cut now,   from my feeling, I cut like   my DNA. I'm not going to get children or whatever, but I cut at that DNA just like, stop it here.  

[01:54:49] Unknown:

Yes.  

[01:54:51] Unknown:

You know? That I'm a powerful being, and I can stop, it stops with me exactly. I'm going to change my life. And when I change my life, it affects   to the micro,   the, the macro, the, and the macro and the meso, right? So when I changed my life, it changed the life of my family or my friends. And with that, maybe a society or my community, you know? And it starts to grow.   And it's with everything that we said with the Reiki, with the mindset of the Japanese people, you know, with all the workers dressed in the same thing. They're like, oh, I got Nikes and I got better shoes. Or I work with Dee Walden, I work with Makita. No, no, no. You got all the same shit. You got to do all the same stuff, right? And it's the same as you said, like in the military.   It doesn't mean that you have to,   you know, you're beautiful woman, you're wearing high heels. Okay, it's sexy, it's cool.  

Well, you're down to the work. So you need boots,   you need your gear and stuff like that. And   everyone is walking around in the same thing. So you got no discrimination   on that level.   That's what I like about it. I don't like that the, you know, the the hierarchy and the authorities and stuff like that. I'm gonna get   fuck authority. But, you know   what? But that that's and and I think we point out a lot of things in this podcast, and I'm really enjoying myself. And time is running fast for your own disorganized productions. I can tell you that. Because you're 2 and a half hours in. Right?  

[01:56:24] Unknown:

Yeah.   It's it's awesome, though. I'm really enjoying it. Thank you.  

[01:56:30] Unknown:

It's it's it's it's it's an honor. What I wanna do is, if you agree with me, I have 12 questions for my guest. I   will ask you these 12 questions, and then I want to wrap it up.  

[01:56:43] Unknown:

I will be asking.  

[01:56:44] Unknown:

Right, and I think we've got to do a part 2, because   when we start to talk to each other before we opt on, it was already a great   connection   and some energy going on. And I really like that. And,   yeah, a fellow human, so I love fellow humans.   It's good to see humans, yes, there's really a lot of people. Yes. And to point it out, what means   human,   right?   Mhmm. You were talking about it in the beginning of the show, and it's   something that I never knew until it came across like a few,   few weeks ago, actually.   Human means, oh, that was the wrong one.  

Human means you is light   and man is being.   So you're light   being, as we all are, we need the light. And of course, you only can see the light when   you see also and know the darkness.  

[01:57:39] Unknown:

That's right.   That's right. You have to get in the dark to see the light.   100%.   Yeah.   But discomfort's important.  

[01:57:52] Unknown:

My computer is, I know what's happening.   I think I've been,   no, I'm not thinking, I know.   I've been attacked quite some times   on an energy level, let's say, with the things that are happening.   You're doing Reiki. So I think if you do that for the last couple of months,   you also   get some energy going,   there in tech. Yes.   That's maybe for another podcast, right?   There's always a way. Sometimes you just gotta flow with it. Right. Yeah. Well, that's it. You've gotta gotta go with the flow. And sometimes it's, it's good, you know,   if it's gonna be love is in the air and la la, and you're feeling like, like a butterfly and someone is like, you know, fuck, do you wanna do what you tell me? Like raise a cash machine. You need to resonate with   all the things you have to cope for in life and situations   and   people. Right?  



[01:58:53] Unknown:

That's right. That's right.  

[01:58:56] Unknown:

I'm gonna ask you 12 questions, Melanie.   Are you ready? Right. I am. Some are very, very hard and some are easy. Okay. Let's go for it. What's your definition of the devil?  

[01:59:09] Unknown:

The devil. Oh.   I believe   that   that comes down to this crippling   fear.   So,   you know, fear is is interesting for me. Fear is a guide.   So if I fear something, I must face it.   The devil,   it will not hold me back. My fear will never keep me in a place.   I will always face my fear and overcome it.   And,   so, you know, people ask you, what is your greatest fear? And a lot of people say spiders or whatever. You know? No. Mine is fear itself.   I will never stay stagnant. I will never,   not live my life because I'm afraid of something.   And   I believe that the devil   is truly just this   this thing that wants to keep us stagnant and living in a very unhealthy place.  

I mean, that's what it is. Because you you may have   unhealthy habits and unhealthy patterns and all these things, but what is it that keeps you there? Usually, it's fear of the unknown. It's fear of discomfort.   It's it's a fear that's keeping you there. Right. So you into it and let it control you, or are you gonna conquer that thing? And I believe we have all the power within us to conquer every devil and every demon that ever comes up. I really love that.  

[02:00:36] Unknown:

So what's your definition of God?  

[02:00:39] Unknown:

Oh, God. Oh, man. So I believe   that,   God is the source, the light, and is the life.   And,   so   I really value this   this visual so if you imagine there's like this tube   or this like streaming beaming light Mhmm. And then out of that comes these little   these little like sparkles of light Right? And that's our human soul. And so it comes out of the source, and then it comes into our body, and that is our soul.   And so we are a part of the source. We are a part of God.   And,   and when we lean into that humanness,   into our light source,   that's when we tap into our creator.  

And so,   I have a lot there are a lot of unknowns there, and I have a lot of learning to do truly, but that is the visual and and what I believe   is there. Yeah.  

[02:01:41] Unknown:

Love that. What's your interpretation   or, definition of value?  

[02:01:48] Unknown:

Value. Oh,   so for me,   value is something that   brings   life.   It brings,   it brings,   authenticity,   and it is it is unique, and it's organic.   And it's something that,   you know, for instance, a gift   going to a big store and just picking something off the shelf, that that gift does not hold much value to me.   Gift of value is something when you go somewhere and   you maybe pick out a favorite artist of that person you're getting the gift for. And and then the the piece that they get, you buy them has something to do with an experience that you've shared together, or,   it reminds you of a certain thing about that person, and that's why you get that gift for them. You know? That has value.  

You know?   Or, like, for instance, this podcast, this podcast has value because   it is filling your time and space with a healthy thing that is good quality communication and and trial and error, and and, you know, this is valuable.   So to me,   value and dollar signs don't really match up   in my world. And,   and so it's it's all about this kind of stuff in my world.  

[02:03:14] Unknown:

Nope it. Nope it. What's your,   definition of success?  

[02:03:20] Unknown:

Success.   Wow.   Success, it is   are you able to get up   and achieve things? Are you able to work through adversity and,   create a legacy that you're proud of? Are you able to   love your family?   Because if if you have this facade that you push on out through the world and to show face as this person and then when you get behind closed doors and hear someone totally different screaming and yelling and, you know, burning and belittling,   are you successful?   That's not very successful in my eyes. You know? So   it's someone that in the mind, body, and spirit in their home, in the community, and and all of these things that is constantly   taking steps and making strides to better themselves   and those around them. That is a successful person in my eyes.  



[02:04:19] Unknown:

Wow.   What's your favorite color?  

[02:04:22] Unknown:

My favorite color. Oh,   so it's, sage green.   Okay.   But if I had to pick 1, but since I don't have to pick 1,   black   and gold   and a really incredible fuchsia.   Cool.   Yeah.  

[02:04:42] Unknown:

One of the logos I,   I wanna bring out of my in the market is  

[02:04:47] Unknown:

black and gold. Oh, I love black and gold together.  

[02:04:51] Unknown:

Yeah. It's yeah. Me too. Me too. What's your favorite music?  

[02:04:57] Unknown:

Favorite music. Oh.  

[02:04:59] Unknown:

Yeah. That's hard to Oh, that's hard to,  

[02:05:02] Unknown:

that's hard because it's very situational dictates. You know? Sometimes I need to listen to a really dark song and, like, work through some stuff and cry my eyes out and go scream.   Sometimes I'm I'm growing and I'm meditating, and so I really lean into the different healing megahertz and, like, different,   frequencies for things like that. Sometimes it's instrumental acoustic guitar.   I absolutely love instrumental   acoustic,   and and then sometimes it's just like   just,   kind of indie folksy   type vibey music, you know.   Yeah. It all it kind of it varies. It definitely varies.  

And I'm I'm really into,   you   know, creating a life I love. So a lot of times, it's like soundtrack type stuff. I love soundtrack.   Yeah.   Yeah. Right.  

[02:05:54] Unknown:

What's your favorite,   movie or series?  

[02:05:58] Unknown:

Oh.   So Gladiator   is like, oh, that's a good one. I love Gladiator. Yeah.   Gladiator.   Love Gladiator.   I love the Lord of the Rings series. It is in the hobbits,   books and movies. And, as well, books and movies for Outlander, the Outlander series Uh-huh.   Is truly   incredible,   especially   in terms of,   healthy   dynamic   of a relationship.   These 2 in this series, in this   show or book, whichever you wanna go with, they truly face a lot of adversity in their relationship, and they fight through it every single time, and then they fight for each other every single time, and they fight for themselves also. And it's just a really   a great example of the trials and errors that you're gonna face for a long term relationship.  

And they also have   things that they're fighting for, and one of them is freedom. And Yeah. So they very much show up as a couple, and they learn how to navigate and show up and fight for what they believe in as a team.   And it's just like   it's I love it.   Yeah. Outlander. Right?  

[02:07:14] Unknown:

Yes. Outlander. Okay. Okay. What's your favorite book?  

[02:07:20] Unknown:

Oh, my favorite book. Wow. Oh, that's hard.   The Four The Four Agreements is amazing.   It's a real Oh, we've all heard  

[02:07:31] Unknown:

about it. Oh, yeah. I'll be riding a die. You you   pronounce them for, I think, on the show with Ben.  

[02:07:39] Unknown:

Maybe so.   I'm not sure. I know it's a very it's it's an incredible book when it comes   to learning how to love yourself,   and and how to process, you know, all what's going on in your world and your reality. It's just it's a good book for that.  

[02:07:55] Unknown:

Right. Well, what are the Four Agreements?   Oh, man. Do you remember them? Yeah. But,  

[02:08:04] Unknown:

I'm struggling now.   But,  

[02:08:07] Unknown:

yeah, I'm not gonna be able to The product is on the show. I I don't know whether this book that I'm writing   it out.   No, no, it's not. I'm gonna I'm gonna post a link with the from the book, because I know that it was for, like,   easy peasy things, but when you think about it, it's very hard   to keep on doing that. Right?  

[02:08:29] Unknown:

Yes. Yeah.  

[02:08:31] Unknown:

What's your favorite   drink or beverage?   Because I think drink is in America, like, with with alcohol and beverage is just like   a drink. Right?  

[02:08:41] Unknown:

Right. So I don't drink alcohol at all.   And,   yeah. And,   I love kombucha.   So fermented drinks. I love fermented drinks.   I have not learned yet, but some of my friends are really good at making homemade kombucha, and it's incredible.   And, Yeah. So that's that's pretty much my favorite. And I love really good filtered water,   so I have a great home filtration  

[02:09:10] Unknown:

system, and, man, I love that water.  

[02:09:13] Unknown:

I can tell you, Melanie, that that I I I yesterday, I said same thing. A lot of people from different   ways of walking and different countries or whatever,   when you come to drink,   it's, oh, well, I used to drink a good beer or whatever, or good whiskey. But   80, maybe 9 percent of all the people that I had as a guest, your guest number 72,   fills with water,   especially with white color bottle.   Cheers to that. Yes.   Oh, I love that.   What's your favorite food?  

[02:09:51] Unknown:

Oh, man. Potatoes. I definitely love potatoes. Homegrown potatoes are the best. They're totally different from store bought potatoes. It's really interesting. Actually, I didn't anticipate that.   I always have grown up with a garden, but we never grew potatoes until a few years ago. And, it's it's interesting. They take longer to cook out of the garden. They're more dense. We can tell they're more nutrient rich. And, I love beef, so,   you know, I I'm on   ground beef is something I love, but I get it, local from a you know, I have a couple of people that I'll I'll do local because there's just so much going on with our meat these days, so I I definitely have to have a good source of,   you know, where I know what's going into the cow.  

That's where I'm getting my beef from.   And so, yeah, I do meatloaf. I love meatloaf. I love, tacos. You know, I kinda get on a kick with my food, and then I'll eat that one thing for, you know, way too long. And that's just how I like it.  

[02:10:51] Unknown:

Starting to get hungry right now.   I just realized I just had a little sandwich just because I went off work,   and then I had like 20 minutes to prepare myself for the podcast, hop on the podcast. Yesterday, same thing. Yesterday evening, just like at 12 o'clock, like, oh, why am I hungry? And thinking like, oh, shit, I forgot to eat.   Yeah. Now you talk about meatloaf, and by tapestries,   why am I starting to drool here? Oh, wait a minute. I'm a little bit no, I'm going to get some nuts too.   Alright.   What kind of, clothing you like to wear the most?  

[02:11:27] Unknown:

Oh, yeah. So   I very much am,   leaning into natural textures. So,   cotton, linen, wool, that's, that's my that's my jam.   You know,   I do some blends, you know, because sometimes that's how I have to do it. But,   yeah, I'm it's really interesting. I'm not only reading food labels. I'm checking tags. You know? Like, I I'm not buying clothes if they're synthetic.   They feel funny.   I feel weird in them. You know? And then if you look at   wool and linen, it vibrates at a much higher frequency, so it's more appealing.   And so, you know,   when you can, like, literally tell that a different texture kind of clothing has a different frequency,  

[02:12:14] Unknown:

it's time to pay attention to it. Yeah. But never combine them 2. Never combine wool and linen. Right? Oh my gosh. I love that you know that. Yes. Yeah.   Yes. Okay.   Right now,   I think you think,   well, can I do? Yeah, of course. Everybody   who's listening to our podcast knows already. But I'm   making,   I'm designing a skirt for all men.  

[02:12:39] Unknown:

Oh, it's awesome.  

[02:12:40] Unknown:

Well, I don't have it on me right now, but what I have, oh, figuring out how my   headset works right here, thing has screwed it up. Oh, no. But I wear like,   this is lining,   right? Oh, yeah. That's good for me. Easy peasy, but it's so comfortable.   It's,   it's breathing,   which is very good. And in wintertime, when I walk around   here   in the woods,   I never ever   had such a warm legs   as wearing a skirt.  

[02:13:16] Unknown:

It's amazing. Isn't it?  

[02:13:19] Unknown:

Yeah.   And,   I have designed now   my own, which is with pockets and stuff like that, and a little bit,   well, check my link tree. There's a there's a link to Roxman,   r a x   m a n. It's on Instagram. I have to do more marketing because I'm I'm figuring out now the fabrics and stuff like that and to put up the the, confection.   Mhmm. And then just let you roll with pre orders.  

[02:13:49] Unknown:

I already saw 2 of them. Yeah. I love it. I love it. You know, there's a reason they wore kilts, you know? I mean Yeah. I mean, it was wool, but the linen also very powerful, very incredible texture and fabric. And the the fact that you understand, you know, that makes me so happy. Yeah. Don't combine the wool and the linen. You can do cotton with them. But, yeah, that's so that's awesome.  

[02:14:13] Unknown:

Man,  

[02:14:15] Unknown:

that's gonna be a game changer for so many guys.  

[02:14:18] Unknown:

I wear wooden shoes when I'm at home.   I love it. Yeah. But I painted them just like a little bit NASA style.   But the funny thing is   I'm in a trailer right now recording.   And in the   winter,   the cold comes up from   underneath. Right. But with these guys on, with some worn socks, I just like, I'm a skinny hippie rocker rolling motorbike and whatever. Right.   Never had cold feet again.   Because it's wood.   Wow. Isolated.  

[02:14:54] Unknown:

Yeah.  

[02:14:56] Unknown:

Billy Bond, I did a podcast with Billy Bond, who lives in South Carolina,   that does his own permaculture.   He was talking about grounding. I said, I ground all the time, because I'm walking around in my wooden shoes. What?   Damn, dude, I need some wooden shoes. I said, I'm going to send you some.   And I figured out that it was like more than $100 to get them over there to America.   So, shit.   So I told him,   check out like a Dutch store. Maybe   they have the wooden shoes.   Comfortable, good for your feet.   Warmth,   these are,   eventually you can wear them on,   construction site.  

Yeah. You can run a truck over them, nothing happens.  

[02:15:44] Unknown:

That's so cool.  

[02:15:47] Unknown:

Yeah, well,   not all people   in the Netherlands are like me. I'm the crazy guy.   You know, I'm the local one.   But  

[02:15:58] Unknown:

Looks like a lot.  

[02:16:00] Unknown:

Yeah.   It was, it   came from my heart that.   Okay, we got 3 questions left. I love this so much,   interact with people.   And   you know that   the feeling that you get, even when you're not in the same room.   Because normally, I'm like, you know, I wanna feel people.  

[02:16:26] Unknown:

Yes. Have a true connection.  

[02:16:28] Unknown:

Yeah. Right? Yeah.   Okay. What's your favorite holiday destination?  

[02:16:35] Unknown:

Holiday destination? Oh, well, Okinawa,   is definitely the top for me.   But I love the beach. I love I love a great beach. I love the ocean,   and I really enjoy the mountains.   So again, it's it all. I'm a flowing multidimensional   person. So there's that one thing for me. I truly have different things that I crave at different times.  

[02:17:00] Unknown:

Great. I I love that because I I figured out that my own questions that I wrote down for people that, oh, it is good to have some questions in the show. Just like, they're hard. It's like,   oh my god. Maybe I should, you know, got some sub code, subcategories,   like, okay, what kind of music, if you're in a bad mood, in a good mood, in a loving mood,   then people would say, oh, yeah, maybe that and that.   What's your favorite music? He's like, dude, come on. You know?   Too hard, too hard. It's a challenge. That's good. That's, yeah. And I never said, like, you have to do one answer? No, no, no, no, no. It's disorganized. Gonna keep   beat disorganized.  

What's your favorite quote?  

[02:17:46] Unknown:

My favorite quote? Oh, wow. Let's see if I can get it right. I haven't said it, in a while.   It's by John Stewart Mill, and   let's see here.   Oh, man. Let's see.   The greatest,   the decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling, which believes nothing is to worse war.   Worth   war is much worse.   Okay. Here we go. War is not the ugliest of things. The ugliest of things is the degraded and   decayed and degraded state   of man.   Oh, I'm totally butchering it. Let me look it up. It's my favorite, though. I wrote this on my cover   when I was,   in the marine corps.  

So,  

[02:18:40] Unknown:

man, I can't believe I'm butchering it right now. No. It's it's totally normal. I I sometimes the most   pronounced things in my life, I can't remember when I'm doing it live.   Yeah. This is not live. I'm recording it. But still, you you you know, you I put you on the spot. Right?  

[02:18:57] Unknown:

Here we go. Here we go. Okay.   War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse.   So   you have to   have a certain level of morals and,   you know, consciousness   to understand, like,   what would I fight and die for? Right.   You know? I mean, we have at some point, we have to be willing to be like, no. This is my cross. Like, this is my line.   And so for me,   sometimes you have to   to face it and fight your war. You know? And so that quote has   it's actually the quote that's in the the very front of the book that was dedicated to me.  

So it's,   it's my it's my quote for sure.  

[02:19:57] Unknown:

Wow.   And it's a deep one because I think you can project it right now, mirroring at society right now.   Shouldn't we go to war   in, maybe not in a flesh and blood war, but we're in a spiritual war, for sure, about all the things you try and do, you know, pervert   us to and stuff like that. So,   I think it's it resonates very much with me exactly on this point of view that we were on in our society.  

[02:20:29] Unknown:

Yes. It's very much a spiritual war and and that's an internal thing.  

[02:20:34] Unknown:

Oh, absolutely.   Mhmm. Last question, Melanie.   What's your life's motto?  

[02:20:41] Unknown:

My life's motto. Oh, man. Oh, so there it's it kind of, like, depends on the chapter we're talking about again. Mhmm.   So,   I have a few,   but my my life's motto   there are a few for this this specific chapter of my life. But one of them is there's always a way.   So, you know, what's the opportunity here?   How can I grow? How can I push through? I will never be defeated. So   where's what's my option? There's always a way.   I just have to figure it out. I just maybe have to become stronger or, you know, I need to make a pivot or I need to change something about myself, but there's always a way through it. And so  

[02:21:24] Unknown:

what is it? Right. Yeah. Love it. I just had a great time. And time flies when you're having fun, isn't it?  

[02:21:32] Unknown:

It does. It truly does.  

[02:21:34] Unknown:

I really wanna,   want to,   have you on my part 2,   on our part 2.  

[02:21:42] Unknown:

That would be great.  

[02:21:43] Unknown:

Right? Thank you.   And where can people reach out to you or find you? Please,   tell our listeners   where they can, catch up with you.  

[02:21:54] Unknown:

Thank you. Thank you for, I always forget that part. So I'm learning.   So on Instagram, I am the wolf mother,   and on Facebook, I'm Melanie Chestnut, And then my website is wildburnindustries.com.   And, that's where you can find me right now. I believe I'm gonna start a TikTok soon, so we'll see how that goes.  

[02:22:16] Unknown:

Oh,   I I can tell you. I I started, like, one and a half years ago or something like that. Something like that. That's nothing for me. I'm I'm a grown man, you know?   Until I just had something like, oh, why not?   5 hours later, just like, holy dude. I got all this information in   a few seconds. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, life hacks. Oh, potatoes. You know, put in potatoes. How many recipes?   It's like, holy.   Oh, wow. Well, I only had like 300, maybe 400 followers   until the Gen X train hit it. Like   I'm, 1973,   Gen X came, I posted something, it went,   for me it was viral. For other people just like, oh, 10,000? What's 10,000? For me it was like, whoop. And 1,000 people look at my shit. And now I've got like 3,000 followers, so I can go live. I go live with my guitar,   stuff like that. And figuring out how it works, because   I use technology   quite a bit, but not always.  

And just like the little girls and the little guys, oh, you get to do,  

[02:23:39] Unknown:

It's crazy. Very much. I very much understand that. I struggle with the technology, so I've got a lot of learning.  

[02:23:45] Unknown:

Yeah. You get I'm at and just like like we said, sometimes you just have to acknowledge, and you have to reach out and help each other. You know? Just like what you said with with with the women.   Okay.   Are you dealing with this? Are you dealing with that? Or or you achieved something, you know? And and of course,   when I play games in the early days, you're gonna get achieved and unlocked. You know? You got you gotta the same gun, but with a with a different color.   Look at me here running with a with a pink gun.   But it's   it's   a crazy world and   once you shut off from that world,   and when you realize that you're deeply happy and in love, well, not in love for yourself in a narcissistic way, but in love with yourself the way you are in this square,   1 feet or what is it in metrics   in English,   in America, 1 meter?  

Perfectly fine.   That easy peasy.  

[02:24:49] Unknown:

It does. It adds so much flow. It allows you to just be.   Isn't that all we we we supposed to be? Be? That's right. We're not shows supposed to show up as as anything. Just   just simply be.  

[02:25:04] Unknown:

Right.   That's one of the things I I always say to people, like,   okay. So so who are you? Well,   I'm a buzz drive.   That's something you perform, but who are you?   You're being, right?   Mhmm. Well,   I'm Rob, whatever. No. That's your name, not who you are.   Then people start to realize, like,   you're wearing wooden shoes and a skirt, are you crazy? Yeah, it's easy.   But  

[02:25:37] Unknown:

it's- So that you notice.  

[02:25:39] Unknown:

Right? But it's the thing that,   and a lot of things that we do, and a lot of things that we're going   to face, especially in our society right now,   are so crazy. Think about it, you know.   I mean,   you're probably just like me.   In the early days, you had, you had Coca Cola and you had this,   Fanta.   That was the only drinks we had.   You had,   natural   chips and you had paprika.   Nowadays, you have, like,   meters, kilometers, oh, inches of food, feet, whatever. You you measure with   with so many stuff you don't need.  

[02:26:23] Unknown:

Yeah. Yeah. It's like, where did this come from? This isn't real food even.  

[02:26:27] Unknown:

No.   And that's the thing.   What you get in is what you're gonna get out.   Just like with the computer, shit in, shit out.   Same with your buddy. If you put in shit, like, like, you know, with French fries, it's maybe not that bad, but the hamburger,   the way they produce it nowadays.   Oh, yes. It's terrible. The fries are bad now too. They're saturated with terrible oil. So Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't eat anything like plant oil based on it, only olive oil, coconut oil.   And the funny thing is if you do that, it's like what you said in the beginning, what's stripping down.   It's like the basic thing.  

It could be the clothes. Okay. I only want to wear my wool or my lining or my shoes, you know, and ground, bare feet on the ground. I wanna have my,   saturated good oils,   olive oil, coconut oil, stuff like that.   Ground beef, what, from a farmer from here?   Mhmm.   Right? And then you you don't need that much   somehow.  

[02:27:37] Unknown:

You don't. It's it's amazing what happens when you simplify every aspect of your life.  

[02:27:43] Unknown:

Right? Even the all those acres   and all the stuff you don't need, it's all just   like, it's funny.   I think it's funny.   If you look at it, sometimes I really laugh about stuff that I   used to love.   Oh, okay. I love my motorcycle. I mean, me motorcycle that, you know, that that's a tea, that's a marriage.   And now I'm, I put it on for sale because I wanna go to Peru.  

[02:28:16] Unknown:

Yeah. It's about having the experiences.  

[02:28:20] Unknown:

Yeah. But it's also letting loose the stuff that you said before. When you let things loose,   something is gonna change within you.   Oh, that's so true. Yeah. When you let go. Mhmm. But that's the hardest part. The hardest part for me, you know, to convince myself I can I can blah, blah, blah, whatever the fuck?   Yeah. But to let go,   too many strings attached,   too many,   belief systems within me, you know, that are attached   from,   maybe from   forefathers away, whatever.   Mhmm.   But it's cool.   I wanna fuck them up,   everyone.   That's awesome.  

Bernie, I really had a good time. I hope you have a great   morning and great day or great evening, no matter where you are.   Because your day is starting right now, right? Or you're like noon? No, it's evening now. So it's 4 in the evening here, yeah. Okay, it's 10 o'clock in the evening right here. So it's like  

[02:29:29] Unknown:

6 hours. We're not that much different. Wow. No.  

[02:29:33] Unknown:

So where are you based in in in America?   In Kentucky.   Kentucky. So that's  

[02:29:40] Unknown:

So it's, it's towards the East Coast. East Coast? Yeah. East Coast. East Coast. Yeah. Yeah. For me, it's it's Yeah. Right. So I was thinking New York up there. Yeah. So south and south and New York. Yeah.  

[02:29:52] Unknown:

There you go. Where's the Netherlands based?   In Europe.   Yeah. Like, you know how big Europe is?   Massive, yeah. Yeah. It's small.   Compared to America, it's small. But they tried to get all the lands together, all the countries together to get, no, look at us. Everyone's just like,   okay.   To all our listeners,   hopefully you had a great time with Melanie Chestnut.   And for all your listeners out there, have a beautiful morning, a beautiful day, or beautiful evening, no matter where you are on this beautiful plain planet.   Thank you.  



[02:30:33] Unknown:

Thank you so much, Rob.