(00:00:01) Introduction and Scuffed Intros
(00:02:00) Weather and Mosquitoes in Minnesota
(00:03:30) Flea Market Finds and Bar Stories
(00:06:00) Ortho Bros and Online Debates
(00:10:00) Bohemian Grove and Nixon's Remarks
(00:15:00) Prayer and Ortho Bro Culture
(00:20:00) Eating on Air and Hot Sauce Discussion
(00:25:00) Music and Guitar Prodigies
(00:30:00) YouTube and Fair Use Challenges
(00:35:00) Bluegrass and Music Festivals
(00:40:00) Meth and Music Lyrics Analysis
(00:45:00) Demolition Derby and Fairground Stories
(00:50:00) Food Not Bombs and Activism
(00:55:00) Orthodox Christianity and Debates
(01:00:00) Nancy Talk and Relationship Dynamics
(01:05:00) Cats, Dogs, and Pet Stories
(01:10:00) Merchandise and T-Shirt Designs
(01:15:00) Secret Societies and Alchemy
(01:20:00) Heterofatalism and Relationship Critiques
(01:25:00) Jewish Superheroes and Cultural Commentary
(01:30:00) Movies and Pop Culture References
(01:35:00) Final Thoughts and Wrap-Up
https://allenmarcus.com/45/
july 22
Podcast Chaos: Navigating Ortho Traditions and Modern Woes
Scuffed Intros and Ortho Bros: A Podcast Adventure
Orthodox Debates and Pop Culture Parodies
From Hebrew Hammer to Heterofatalism: A Cultural Critique
Humor and Insight: Exploring Orthodox Christianity and Pop Culture
Heterofatalist Hebrew Hammer
In this lively episode, the hosts dive into a whirlwind of topics ranging from the chaotic nature of podcast intros to the intricacies of Orthodox Christianity debates. The conversation meanders through humorous anecdotes about scuffed podcast starts, the peculiarities of Orthodox traditions, and the challenges of engaging in meaningful debates with ortho bros. The hosts also explore the cultural impact of Orthodox Christianity and its influence on modern society, questioning the accessibility and outreach of Orthodox communities.
As the episode unfolds, the discussion takes a humorous turn with reflections on the absurdities of pop culture, including a playful critique of the Hebrew Hammer film and the comedic portrayal of Jewish superheroes. The hosts also touch on the complexities of gender dynamics and heterofatalism, offering a satirical take on modern relationship woes. With a blend of humor, critique, and insightful commentary, this episode offers a unique perspective on contemporary cultural and religious issues.
[00:00:01]
Steve :
That would be that. And we're live, and I'm Steve Poikkanen. Great job, fellas. Great job. He doesn't know how to go clockwise, apparently. I don't know. He wants us to go counterclock. Bang of see, we had this planned. We had this planned, and I said, I don't wanna go first right before this whole thing started. And you know what? I sucked it up, and I went first, and this is what I get for doing that. Way to go. Way to go. No. It's okay, dude. Trying to make us go into a reverse rotation, and everybody knows that fucks y'all up. We're all unique to scuffed intros. We are. We are.
[00:00:37] allen marcus:
Is it d o d s o? I'm alan marcus dot com.
[00:00:43] Benjamin Balderson:
And I am Benjamin Balderson. No matter what the YouTube people wanna think, I am the real me, the only me.
[00:00:52] Steve :
Yeah. Can confirm.
[00:00:54] Benjamin Balderson:
You win.
[00:00:59] Steve :
Who are you guys? Where are you, dude? You're metal, dude. Dude,
[00:01:05] Unknown:
deliberately. Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude
[00:01:31] Steve :
One minute, dude. Nine, thirty, eight,
[00:01:35] Unknown:
seven, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, 30, 30, thirty, thirty, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, thirty, thirty
[00:01:46] Benjamin Balderson:
Three, two, one, fight.
[00:01:51] Steve :
What are you guys? We're you, dude. Wow. They can't all be zingers.
[00:02:03] allen marcus:
Crock a cold one if you got one. It is just sweltering sweltering here.
[00:02:11] Benjamin Balderson:
Sweltering in Minnesota.
[00:02:13] Steve :
Yeah. It does that.
[00:02:14] allen marcus:
Oh, it's humid. It is so humid.
[00:02:18] Benjamin Balderson:
Are the mosquitoes looking like hummingbirds this year then?
[00:02:21] allen marcus:
The mosquitoes are eating the hummingbirds alive.
[00:02:28] Benjamin Balderson:
That's a bad year.
[00:02:30] Steve :
I did. The the only I I probably said this before, man, but it may have been a minute. The only, like, goodwill find that I ever took on the road with me when I was doing Renaissance festivals that I got in Shakopee, Minnesota was a coffee cup. Mhmm. And it had a picture of a mosquito on it, and it said Minnesota state bird. Yeah. It's like that's accurate as
[00:02:58] Benjamin Balderson:
fuck. Accurate. Yeah. I got some flea market finds everybody might enjoy. Oh. This one's one of my favorites right here.
[00:03:08] allen marcus:
All madams will keep their girls out the streets after dark. If they know what's good for them. No exceptions.
[00:03:16] Benjamin Balderson:
No exceptions. Yeah. We Christy and I found these in San Francisco at a a paper place or bookstore or something that was closing down. This is a clean and moral establishment. Don't don't be fucking around here. This is why the this is part of why the ortho bros don't wanna come play with us because scoundrels will be dealt with severely.
[00:03:39] Steve :
You know, the place of business that had that on the wall on the inside behind the bar was replacing the window at least once, if not three times a month.
[00:03:51] Benjamin Balderson:
Absolutely. Absolutely. Like like, if you remember Roadhouse, the bar scene where the they had to have the chicken wire in front of the band, and they're sitting there playing That was the Blues Brothers. But yeah.
[00:04:03] Steve :
Yeah. Yeah. Broken Yeah. That was Bob's Country Bunker. Yeah. Yeah. Both kinds of music, Ben, country and western.
[00:04:11] Benjamin Balderson:
Yes. Yes. So they had to sing Rawhide. I remember. Rawhide. This is just good to have around. I don't know why our country went sideways with this where we now glorify theatricals, but we do not rent rooms to theatricals. They are nothing but problems. They're gonna they're gonna leave leave behind license and stuff.
[00:04:36] Steve :
That is correct. That is correct.
[00:04:39] Benjamin Balderson:
This one's Steve and my new favorite place, the Miner's Bathhouse. You you get a free beer with a bath.
[00:04:46] allen marcus:
Free beer. Do you get a ice cube in the bathtub?
[00:04:50] Benjamin Balderson:
That's correct. You know, it it it doesn't say that, but I suppose you can't
[00:04:57] allen marcus:
ball. Yeah. The the chilled ball effect is a great way to cool down. Just put them on a slab of ice.
[00:05:06] Benjamin Balderson:
It is. It is. And then and you wanna do that in the evening because then then all the holes inside. So you'd you know, you don't wanna do that when they're outside running around. You wanna keep them out in the daylight like vampires.
[00:05:26] allen marcus:
I'm trying to expose some tweets to the daylight. I saw you guys are tweeting a little bit on Saturday.
[00:05:33] Benjamin Balderson:
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Had a nice little had a nice little, nice little scrap with Jim Bob. I did.
[00:05:41] allen marcus:
Trying to find the, Chase Haggard tweets. Those are fun. If I can find those. He had a prayer to the ortho bros. He wanted to know the definition of ortho bro, and why is it a pejorative, meaning, like, an insult.
[00:06:00] Benjamin Balderson:
Well, I mean, it would you know, the the the the definition isn't necessarily the. You know, ortho bro, it's pretty easy as anything else. Any group that's primarily men, they people call them bros, and they're orthodox. Now where it starts taking on the, majority of it starts sounding slush is where people don't particularly like the ortho bros, where they're kind of an obnoxious group. Pretty pushy, act like they know everything, and they they like to do a whole lot of what what I would call legalese, where they take the heart of the matter and they remove it, and so they can use all their little word games so they can actually ignore the point.
A good example of that kind of thing is is you take, like, the school zone violation for drugs. Absolutely. Nobody wants people selling drugs to little kids at schools. It's crazy. And so we passed a law for that. That would that said, anybody caught doing that has to serve an extra sentence above and beyond just being a dealer. You also get a violation of being in this school zone, which is consecutive ten years after the original sentence, which consecutive means that you have to get paroled on that first sentence before you can even start serving the second sentence. A lot of times, most things are ran concurrently, meaning that if you have, like, three, five year sentences and a ten year sentence, basically, you look at the ten year sentence and whatever time you would had to serve on that, that's what you're gonna do, and those other ones get counted in at the same time.
With the school zone violation, they made that specifically consecutive. So what the state's attorneys and district attorneys and whatnot have done with that is they've used that as a club for anybody that isn't selling drugs to kids in schools.
[00:08:01] Steve :
This is cat well, this statement below is categorically, untrue.
[00:08:09] Benjamin Balderson:
Bros are frat boy inclusive making it a majority. Well, I bet you the ortho bros have a frat of some sort. I mean, I'm I'm sure I'm sure they do, but to say that, like,
[00:08:21] Steve :
use of the word bro or attachment to the word bro doesn't necessarily make it I mean, maybe in in 2025, if you're, like, terminally online and you don't know a a bunch of different dudes and you, like but, you know, I don't know. That's that seems reductive with without I mean, I understand what frat bros are. I do.
[00:08:56] Benjamin Balderson:
Those are probably the original bros. So, I mean, he's probably got a point with that. I would think that the blacks were probably the original bros. Did they hang out mostly guy groups?
[00:09:09] Steve :
Apparently, far too often, which is what all those songs about being on the down low are all about.
[00:09:15] Benjamin Balderson:
Well, that's because all the hoars had to go inside. They are not walking on the streets after dark. So it turns out that that rule
[00:09:30] Steve :
led to what San Francisco is probably most famously known for being? My goodness. In hindsight, that was terrible. You should've just let them hose out after dark. Yeah. They're like, the guy's like, well, there ain't no hose around. We'll start hopping each other. Guess we'll have to go to those well, I guess we'll have to go to the freaking drag bars.
[00:09:53] Benjamin Balderson:
I found that tweet from July 16. Cracked the code. That's how it all happened. I've already had a bath and a beer. Now what am I gonna do? Right. It it did not clear up. It didn't ever go into focus. Home of the original Bohemian Club, which became
[00:10:10] Steve :
the retreat known as the Bohemian Grove, which just happened over the last week, and we all know what Nixon said about that.
[00:10:19] allen marcus:
Yeah. What did Nixon say about the grove?
[00:10:22] Steve :
Well Not enough oak trees. Alright. Well, are we gonna get in trouble if we pull the clip of Nixon talking about it or Nixon being quoted about it? It's presidential. It's historical.
[00:10:32] allen marcus:
I'm trying to pull a tweet quote from a Chase Haggard one asking what is an ortho bro, end quote, with a question mark. Can one of the people who uses this a as a pejorative explain what it means to me when people try to explain what it means to me. Even know why it's a pejorative.
[00:10:49] Steve :
I don't like, I think if you're taking offense at that, then you're reading some shit into it that, you know, it's a a it's a colloquialism
[00:11:02] Benjamin Balderson:
at this point. Mhmm. You know? You're not you're not catching the tone, and they're like, ortho bros.
[00:11:09] Steve :
There's Bernie Who's singing that? It's Bernie Bros. Oh, that was me. Yeah. Oh. Oh, wait. Did you wait. Do you, like, pull them out into curls and shit, and you have to, like, drop a freaking couple extensions on before you spin on the Christians like that? You know, you a dream. Entirely different culture. Is that something that you share with the the tiny hats?
[00:11:35] Benjamin Balderson:
It is something that they they took from us. We, in our culture, whenever, somebody is extremely dishonorable, when you, when you say their name, you're supposed to spit afterwards.
[00:11:51] Steve :
Yeah. Is that is is that really like a German thing, or is that, you know, because every culture does that. So so are you saying that mankind originated in Germany? Absolutely not. But the idea of the So because literally every culture does that. Like, tried to claim owners. The Italians do that. The Spanish do that. The Mexicans do that. The Indians,
[00:12:12] Benjamin Balderson:
not only do they spit, but they probably poop on the street after they say the name of somebody. Nobody even knows about them being nasty. You just assume that they're getting ready to make you food or something. Is it a tin spittoon then you got that, Thai t boba paper straw energy in you. It's just for It's that Thai tea, man. It's making me feisty. It is. Yeah. It's Steve's gonna have to put his hair into a man bun during the intermission.
[00:12:38] Steve :
That's probably not gonna happen. Okay.
[00:12:43] Benjamin Balderson:
Hey. Are you drinking out of a paper straw?
[00:12:45] Steve :
No longer.
[00:12:50] Benjamin Balderson:
I I believe there's rules to this, sir. You can't drink boba teas.
[00:12:55] Steve :
And I didn't even have the boba. It specifically came de boba nized. That was a stipulation.
[00:13:02] allen marcus:
I think we have to pay 5¢ every time we mention boba.
[00:13:06] Steve :
I thought we got 5¢ every time we mention it. Knocked my mouth. I clearly misread that contract. What the fuck, man? It's Boba Fett. He's a bounty hunter. I think he's a Disney property. Oh, okay. Okay. Mhmm. Well, in that case, the fucking Thai tea should have come with a couple of sweet ass laser blasters, and they totally didn't. So now I feel a little bit cheated. As you should. Anyway, here's Richard Nixon talking about the Bohemian Grove. Any day now. Is there seriously no That's what we That's what we
[00:13:44] Unknown:
Northridge County. You know what San San San San Francisco is just Sean. Where are we? I don't have, but it isn't this is just done around the part of town of the opera class in San Francisco is that way. I believe in
[00:14:15] Benjamin Balderson:
They won't even speak with them. Nixon refused to shake hands.
[00:14:20] Steve :
Somehow, he was unintelligible.
[00:14:22] allen marcus:
San Francisco. But I think the clear part was clear. We understood the intention of the words there.
[00:14:31] Benjamin Balderson:
Well, if all tricky dick won't do it,
[00:14:36] Steve :
If we ever need to hack Sherry.
[00:14:39] Benjamin Balderson:
What's up, Sheryl?
[00:14:42] allen marcus:
There's the password.
[00:14:45] Benjamin Balderson:
So I did see that eye from the background. Big hand wave.
[00:14:54] allen marcus:
I know we have a prayer that we wanted to begin our stream with. We did? Yeah. Chase Haggard was gonna lead us in prayer.
[00:15:03] Benjamin Balderson:
Oh, Chase is coming on? The Orthodox
[00:15:06] allen marcus:
Girl. Night. That's most. Okay. Okay. It's a horrible haiku, but it's an okay prayer for his next livestream. So it goes if we bow our bow our heads and close our eyes, we we read the prayer. Lord, thank you that I'm not like those ortho bros. They who flee from humility ceaselessly saying their world view is true. I obey the commandments. I tweet my prayers twice a day. I let all know I am fasting. Thank you, Lord, that I am not like those ortho bros. Amen.
[00:15:50] Steve :
I mean, he could have just posted a video of him trying to suck his own dick, and it would have had the exact same effect. It really would have. Oh, fuck. I what the fuck was that, dude?
[00:16:06] allen marcus:
We offered definitions of also grows. I I suggested that there's a thing called a tech bro. You You know, it's someone who espouses bro culture involved in the tech industry. So, therefore, Othor bro is a man who brands himself orthodox Christian and espouses orthodox Christianity online. It's pejorative in the sense that it's annoying behavior. You know, tech bros get into mansplaining, Bernie bros get into Bernie splaining, and ortho bros get into writing prayers saying they're not like the other also bros
[00:16:46] Benjamin Balderson:
as they explain. I don't think that that was what Oh, man. Think that that's what he was saying, though. I think he was owning all of the criticisms, and then putting them back is, like, they should be proud of it. Like, you're making fun of me for this? But do you even pray, bro?
[00:17:07] Steve :
Do you? No. Do do you How many praise do you do? No. I've done fucking 15 sets of praise before you even got the fuck out of bed, pussy. Yeah.
[00:17:21] allen marcus:
Come. I like it. So are you saying praise? Like, p r a I n c? Like, test No. I'm I'm I'm being intentionally
[00:17:29] Steve :
retarded and and putting an s on the end of praise instead of I prayed or, you know, I I you know, the
[00:17:41] allen marcus:
The PR.
[00:17:42] Steve :
Yeah. Yeah.
[00:17:44] Benjamin Balderson:
In the instant prayer
[00:17:46] allen marcus:
The performative PR
[00:17:48] Steve :
Work hard to break up, bitch. In ortho bro prayer. So
[00:17:53] allen marcus:
It's good. That's good.
[00:17:55] Benjamin Balderson:
It's funny. My brother was giving me shit because he's like, you eat a lot on your show. It's the only guy that's on. Yeah. I was like, you know, I don't have any control when Christie brings me food.
[00:18:08] allen marcus:
That's so that's that's true.
[00:18:10] Benjamin Balderson:
He hands me food. I eat the food.
[00:18:12] Steve :
I don't know what to say about that. Right? If I wanna eat the food hot Yeah. Then I'm gonna eat it when it's handed to me.
[00:18:20] allen marcus:
Yeah. That'd be great. At least, like, a few minutes after when I can make an excuse to go off camera because I'm not a fucking pig. This is the opposite of federal fatalism behavior. There was an article I sent you. I don't know that you got time to read it, but heterofatalism.
[00:18:41] Benjamin Balderson:
Nice. And tonight, we got the imperial from spicy Sarah. Anybody that knows spicy Sarah from the community, the imperial hot sauce. Nice.
[00:18:50] Steve :
Yeah.
[00:18:52] Benjamin Balderson:
Named after That's not that hot. Period. Hot.
[00:18:57] allen marcus:
It's also still trying to read that, yaki book called imperium. Not all the there's another group of bros who like to read Imperium. They like to imagine
[00:19:09] Benjamin Balderson:
Imperium. Is that like Dianetics?
[00:19:12] Steve :
Who is NBN?
[00:19:17] Benjamin Balderson:
That might be me. I don't know. Okay.
[00:19:20] Steve :
Was that just was that you trying to spell Ben and we had to interpret? I I mean, yeah. I'd be I did just call Ben a a pick Dave.
[00:19:33] allen marcus:
It's the, heat brew No. Ben
[00:19:39] Steve :
is constantly chewing with his mouth open on camera. That's why he's a pig. I what the fuck does Dave have to do with this shit? Dave's not here, man. Dave's not here. Oh,
[00:19:53] Benjamin Balderson:
well played.
[00:19:54] Steve :
Well played. There could be only one nature boy. I don't even know what else to say. I I don't I don't get it. I think we we clearly have direct evidence right in front of us in real time of the thing that was raised where I addressed the person doing the thing just to take. It did
[00:20:19] Benjamin Balderson:
well, fuck this day. I I don't And Steve can and Steve can say these things about me because Steve's over there drinking a prissy boba tea with a with a paper straw. So I am not currently drinking
[00:20:32] Steve :
of
[00:20:35] allen marcus:
Upgrade to a tin straw at least. Get a metal straw.
[00:20:44] Benjamin Balderson:
Of course, I'm unsophisticated. I'm drinking water out of an old honey jar.
[00:20:52] Steve :
I told you that in confidence before we went live, fucker. Holy shit. You violated my trust, and and now, I don't know, I'm gonna have to go There's a one no TikTok with my tits out and but it says that that somehow sexual assault. There's a window of five to six hours. Of course, it's gay. He's fucking around. We all know that. That's why there's none in the alleged cup. There's the, Holy fuck. You see what you do, Ben? The fucking people at home get a little tuned up, and they only pay half the fuck attention. And then the next thing you know, I directly address you, and they're like, oh, it's some guy named Dave. And then fuck it because that's what they have heard. As in behalf here, you talk shit, and they're like, oh, that's exactly how the world works now. I'm gonna go off and believe and let you see how this shit happens, dude. You see, you need to be careful with your words. That's what I'm trying to say.
[00:22:01] allen marcus:
Stop. I think we need another prayer.
[00:22:04] Benjamin Balderson:
That was me being careful with my words. It was the exact reaction that I desired.
[00:22:09] Steve :
That's fair.
[00:22:12] allen marcus:
So this is, a new bomb
[00:22:16] Benjamin Balderson:
signed by Is that fucking, the the the x guy? What the fuck is that little dude name dude's name in the x movies?
[00:22:27] allen marcus:
Vin Diesel. Is that Vin Diesel? It looks like Vin Diesel, but it's not Vin Diesel. This is a guy who's in a super group currently. In a super group? Is this the newest voice? Super group a. It it does look a little bit like Peter Furler. Peter Furler famously wore a black cowboy hat over his bald head.
[00:22:49] Steve :
I mean, it also looks like Vin Diesel, and it looks like the dude who played Charlie Runkle in Californication after, like, three weeks in the gym. I mean, it it looks like fucking Howie Mandel.
[00:23:02] Benjamin Balderson:
Howie Mandel? That's that's pretty buff for Howie. Isn't Howie Mandel scared of germs? I don't think he'd even lift weights.
[00:23:10] Steve :
He has a personal trainer.
[00:23:14] allen marcus:
Howie Mandel can afford it.
[00:23:16] Steve :
Yeah. Personal trainer. The personal trainer sterilizes him before, during, and after every workout. Mhmm. He just spritzes him with bleach water. Oh, no. No. No. No. No. No. Howie demands a full body shave and a wipe down every thirty five minutes.
[00:23:33] allen marcus:
Oh, fuck. It is sweltering.
[00:23:35] Steve :
On high impact days every seventeen minutes.
[00:23:38] Benjamin Balderson:
True. That bag, like every other fucking movie star and person like that, wants to take over the podcast industry. Oh. That was the last thing I've seen with him where he, invited Billy Corgan and and Bill Burr on to tell him that they were brothers.
[00:23:54] Steve :
Which is a bit, by the way, but a hilarious bit that should never die because both of them understood the concept of cringe comedy.
[00:24:06] allen marcus:
The the Billy Corrigan podcast is one of the most fun fun experiences I've had. Billy Corrigan talking with, choreography guy, which is named Corey Corey Corey Feldman.
[00:24:21] Steve :
Oh, that had to be a train wreck. I'd never even heard that this thing existed.
[00:24:28] allen marcus:
It's beautiful. It's more beautiful than this disturbed guy's bald head signing a bomb to drop off. But that is Howie Mandel? No. It's the guy from Disturbed.
[00:24:38] Steve :
Oh, Disturbed. Okay. So I was looking so I was looking for I was totally ready to believe that was Buff Howie Mandel.
[00:24:45] allen marcus:
Sweet leaf covers. So sweet leaf songs, sweet leaf covers, covers of the song sweet leaf. Oh, I did it on this guy.
[00:24:53] Benjamin Balderson:
Dad?
[00:24:54] allen marcus:
Yes. Well
[00:24:56] Benjamin Balderson:
You introduced me to my wife. Is there more to the song? There's a lot more to the song. I'm not gonna sing it, though. Do the
[00:25:10] Steve :
my oldest son was born to the masters of reality album. He came into the world listening to it.
[00:25:22] allen marcus:
This is a picture of David Draymond of Disturbed who was performing in a supergroup. There was a song called sweet leaf he was singing on stage. As he walked on stage, he was booed. They were booing him because of this picture of him signing a bomb.
[00:25:43] Steve :
Good. Remember,
[00:25:44] Benjamin Balderson:
I'm a a guy in, entertainment media that's that's all super dewy. I know I'm sure
[00:25:51] Steve :
got booed too. Monica Perez was on the show yesterday and and talked about how, like, she was her she planned her family vacation or her husband did around going to the last concert in Birmingham, England. And so she's in the audience for that, and Tom Morello gets booed every time he's, like, mentioned, thanked, or on stage.
[00:26:25] Benjamin Balderson:
That's good stuff.
[00:26:27] Steve :
I hope it continues throughout the rest of his career. And he's back to playing coffee shops and folk tunes like he tried to do fifteen years ago, like, under a different name and all that kind of stuff. I just wanna get back to my roots.
[00:26:44] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Yeah.
[00:26:46] Steve :
So I'm gonna cover Pete Seeger and Bob Dylan. Like, come on. And then I'm gonna write a bunch of my own woke, dumb stuff. I saw him do that for, like, fifteen minutes at hardly strictly. Like, I I sat there, and I was like, is he this is this is the thing?
[00:27:07] Benjamin Balderson:
You know? Is that part of strictly bluegrass?
[00:27:10] Steve :
Bluegrass. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then, like, a stage away and ten minutes later was Les Claypool's duo to twang. And I was like, I'm gonna go hang out with those weirdos. No. This is there's a lot like that South Park episode where they just fart in wine glasses.
[00:27:29] allen marcus:
Billy Strings covered sweet leaf, Billy Strings and the Psychedelic Circus, a cover of sweet leaf from 2019. It's a pretty good cover of it. What's the Billy Strings deal? Kind of a young guy. He's kind of a
[00:27:42] Benjamin Balderson:
kind of a hic ish, kind of bluegrass, kind of rock.
[00:27:47] Steve :
Okay. So he he's from a part of Michigan where it it's basically like they picked up rural Appalachia and then just dropped it into Michigan. And there's, like, a huge music and bluegrass scene there, and he and if you look at the way he plays, you know, he he might have a a touch of autism. And he's, you know, been kind of like a a guitar prodigy from a very, very, very young age and, like, played in competitions all over the place as a, you know, freaking preteen and early teens and stuff like that. And it is now fully jumped into the Grateful Dead Mafia, is one of the the better living guitar players that we currently have usually does just acoustic oriented stuff. Very rare to see the kid kid. He's, you know, probably mid thirties at this point. You know, hold an electric guitar.
But when he does, it's not fair. Like, it's already not fair when yeah. How much are we allowed to play of anything before YouTube is like, that's a no no. Like like, what's our actual fair use for this as far as dissection and commentary of any particular piece of music goes? Do we know? Is it a live performance that you wanna play?
[00:29:36] Benjamin Balderson:
I mean, I certainly I got I can't be monetized because I'm me, and and and I I'm not even me. So I don't even know.
[00:29:45] Steve :
Well, I mean, in terms of, like, even if, like, a video had to be taken down or, like, shit had to be cut out of it, You know, what does anybody even know what fair use is considered anymore? Is it just a personal thing?
[00:30:03] Benjamin Balderson:
It's it's just a YouTube thing. Like, anything it it seems like it's weird as shit, though, what YouTube will ding me on. Like, they dinged us on that one, where you said the song was done by your, your son's uncle. Mhmm. And they still dinged it. They still dinged us on it. I used to when I had, Owen's Alchemy going, I had written Dan Haim, talked to Dan Haim, asked them if I could use their music for my show. He he, you know, generously said, oh, absolutely. Then, you know, I don't have to pay for it. No nothing. Just go ahead and use it use it. And YouTube's like, no. We say no.
[00:30:44] Steve :
Mhmm.
[00:30:47] allen marcus:
You gotta know someone at YouTube to get on the good boys list, the green light list where you're allowed to get away with things until so many people report it. But the other group of people, they are on the no no naughty list, and their stuff gets blagged much quicker and taken down and not shared much quicker.
[00:31:08] Benjamin Balderson:
What's up, Brian? What's up, Stella? I heard Stella's dating the the Tim and Grappler. That's what I heard. Oh.
[00:31:18] Steve :
But this is I mean, you know, and and I'll I'll I guess what?
[00:31:24] allen marcus:
We can put it on mute and play it and then just recommend people go check the video out. Forty five seconds or a minute before,
[00:31:30] Steve :
you know, we stop for a second because I don't really understand this shit.
[00:31:35] allen marcus:
You know, find the highlight. Tommy Emmanuel and Billy Strings 2019.
[00:32:01] Benjamin Balderson:
Oh, so Billy doesn't have a sister, so that way he doesn't go the way the route of Jack White, the last guy that was doing bluegrass music. And,
[00:32:11] Steve :
Jack White was never doing bluegrass music. What are you talking about?
[00:32:15] Benjamin Balderson:
Oh, his original stuff was, your, great high mountain. Absolutely, that was blue grassy. All kinds of fiddle, all kinds of things like that. That everything what was that what was the damn movie that, Nicole Kidd, Cold Mountains. Cold Mountains. All the, like, half the soundtrack for Cold Mountain was fucking Jack White. And then he's then he's, then he's, calling his wife his sister and fucking being super weird.
[00:32:49] Steve :
Well, I guess that's what doing a movie with Nicole Kidman
[00:32:53] Benjamin Balderson:
will get you. Yeah. That's true. She's Australian?
[00:32:57] allen marcus:
Question mark. Allegedly,
[00:32:59] Steve :
if it even exists.
[00:33:01] allen marcus:
Nervous, she's not.
[00:33:03] Steve :
But Tommy Emmanuel is, you know, a a I mean, an absolute freaking legend, on the guitar. Love the 33 tattoos on, Billy there as well. I don't know. Like, I really fuck YouTube. Like, fuck him right in the poo in because it sucks to push pause on that shit because they're having fun up there. Just getting to the groove, and then you gotta pause it and commentate over it and say, I noticed he's wearing
[00:34:07] allen marcus:
pigtails. Is this,
[00:34:10] Steve :
the first two Blue was probably written by a black man who never got paid for writing the song. It's a shame that other artists get to make money by playing music that inspired them because
[00:34:23] allen marcus:
that's not what music is intended for. Does the blue and bluegrass refer to the color of the collar of the working man being blue?
[00:34:30] Steve :
No. It's Bill Monroe invented the sound whilst in Kentucky, the bluegrass state, even though it was originally from a little town in Indiana called Bean Blossom.
[00:34:43] allen marcus:
Bean Blossom.
[00:34:45] Steve :
Bean Blossom. And for years, they used to throw a bluegrass festival called the Bean Blossom Boogie. And when you showed up, it was, like, very, very straight laced, old school appreciators of good, clean, white, Christian music. And then it was also hippies and fucking biker gang members. And everybody got along, and everybody had a great time. And there were some very, very scornful looks from, you know, the men and women properly hatted, and properly attired. But ain't nobody called the law. You know? It was the eighties in Southern Indiana, and it was pretty much like that you we'll we'll really like, if we need you, we'll call you, but don't come around unless we call you.
[00:35:49] allen marcus:
So my mom coming home, 1991, Ozzy Osbourne. Love that video. We can't play it, but it's on his channel, so you guys can go and watch Ozzy Osbourne sing, my mom coming home, the fashion in that. Why would you do that, though? Because I love the nostalgia of it. It's all, like, sepia tone, and they're wearing the coolest hats. And they have, like, the fringes on the suede jackets.
[00:36:16] Benjamin Balderson:
Is that something that after he found value.
[00:36:19] Steve :
Like what? Like, white leather jacket type thing with the tassels on it?
[00:36:24] allen marcus:
It's it's in sepia tone. So Like, KK Rider, country black, but, you know, there's there's there's a time in the early nineties, like, 1991.
[00:36:34] Steve :
Oh, like the leather stone like, the the gray stonewash
[00:36:38] allen marcus:
kind of thing? Right. So then there's also, like, the Native American beadwork on the hats, that type of style. What what is that together? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like shadow run RPG where it's like, Dungeons and Dragons, but it's like elves and trolls and cyberpunk culture, like the street of Northwest. But it's like Arizona themed with the cactuses and the, bolo ties. Not quite Texas, but there's, like, this flavor of Arizona moved to, like, Seattle. And then you combine those styles together and you're a rock star look. What what is that?
[00:37:18] Steve :
It's the lyrics to the song Outshine by Soundgarden.
[00:37:22] Unknown:
Okay.
[00:37:27] Benjamin Balderson:
See what we got here. Man food. Here comes a look at that.
[00:37:45] allen marcus:
Are they using picks?
[00:37:50] Steve :
I mean, Billy is. Okay.
[00:37:54] Unknown:
Okay.
[00:38:20] allen marcus:
No. The facial expressions are musical in them themselves. Just
[00:38:27] Steve :
he's really getting into it. Might might have a little bit of the. Little bit. Little bit. That's alright. Bit. But the good kind, not like the I fucking punch random strangers and, you know, throw the model train sets of people kind. Yeah. It's more like Rain Man on a guitar. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely 375 notes that I could play in that particular measure. But that definitely definitely 375.
[00:38:55] allen marcus:
Three yeah. Are we trying to get a little stream sets? Because this is my station.
[00:39:01] Steve :
That's a nice station. That is nice. It's very nice. Host scale,
[00:39:05] Benjamin Balderson:
and it has a little light on it.
[00:39:07] allen marcus:
There's the, locomotive coming into view. Classy.
[00:39:11] Steve :
Okay.
[00:39:12] allen marcus:
It's probably on time too. See, the the most autistic thing about this is you get the catalogs, and then you just dream over, like, oh, that bridge.
[00:39:21] Steve :
Yeah. That shell oil. No. I'm I'm not I'm not knocking him, dude. Like, like, I'd frequently play his stuff.
[00:39:30] allen marcus:
I do ten minutes of Oh, I'm just talking about my love of train sets.
[00:39:36] Steve :
Well, maybe your love of train sets is what four twenty rolling up is referring to is great. Perhaps it is. Perhaps it is.
[00:39:46] Benjamin Balderson:
I could see the correlation.
[00:39:49] Steve :
Do you see the picture? He wasn't he definitely wasn't found by that, but that might have been, like, one of the first things that he did that went, like, Internet viral, as far as no. It's, it's cocaine, I think. It wasn't it, Dustin and Baggy. No. It's the song Dustin and Baggy. I mean, he did cocaine blues in freaking
[00:40:12] Benjamin Balderson:
You think Dustin and Baggy's mad?
[00:40:16] Steve :
Yeah. He even talks about, the the whole song's about math.
[00:40:20] Benjamin Balderson:
Like, the whole song. You know, I always imagined it was cocaine. I didn't I'd never Okay. Okay. Look. At at risk of
[00:40:30] Steve :
running a foul. And this motherfucker, they still won't let Hank senior in the fucking country music back in the country music hall of fame, Grand Ole Opry. Hank senior still kicked out of the Grand Ole Opry. Billy Strings got to do this song at the Grand Ole Opry. Hank still banned. So you can just hate, Hank, motherfuckers.
[00:40:59] allen marcus:
Meth, is that an amphetamine?
[00:41:02] Steve :
Yeah. Yeah. You know what? It was popularized back in the, early late late thirties, early forties. They they found that it was beneficial for, for men who were in combat situations with, alertedness and preparedness.
[00:41:20] allen marcus:
So there's, like, the hot metal and method dream lyric, The dumb dumb bolts that shoot to kill song.
[00:41:27] Benjamin Balderson:
You know, it's only useful though when the leader doesn't do most of the meth like like, mustache man. In the video the fucking video of him at the Olympics, that guy was so gapped out. It wasn't even funny. Uh-huh. To me, mustache man is Geraldo Rivera. That's fair. That that's fair. That's fair.
[00:41:47] Steve :
That's fair. That's why there's usually the Jay Dyer qualifier.
[00:41:53] allen marcus:
Tiny mustache man. Is that a bonus round? I I
[00:41:56] Benjamin Balderson:
call him the twink in pink.
[00:41:58] Steve :
That's that's also accurate. Okay. So, again, tell me this ain't about meth.
[00:42:08] allen marcus:
I'm all about that CRTV in the background, snail, and tube set.
[00:42:22] Unknown:
Play that. Hey. Play that I only tune you wrote. Not the one you played earlier. Play this one.
[00:42:33] allen marcus:
So who is the gentleman sitting on the couch?
[00:42:36] Steve :
That's Billy Strings
[00:42:38] allen marcus:
sitting on the couch. Great to me. He's young Billy. He's got a shorter hairstyle here. A little more Very much, though. Do that? Yeah. You can see the white roll around his ears. Play the latest one you wrote.
[00:42:49] Unknown:
That latest one you wrote.
[00:42:53] Benjamin Balderson:
Play that one. So
[00:43:21] Steve :
it are you are you willing to admit?
[00:43:24] Benjamin Balderson:
Seven days without sleep. A little bit long for for for for cocaine. That is a little bit, He does literally say this methamphetamine
[00:43:32] Steve :
has got a damn good hold of me. Yeah. That's that's that's the exact nest next line. I mean, we can run it back. You know?
[00:43:48] Benjamin Balderson:
And this guy behind it, Annette.
[00:44:00] allen marcus:
I heard that.
[00:44:01] Unknown:
Haven't been beaten three days.
[00:44:31] allen marcus:
It's alright. We love Billy Strings. We are Billy Strings stans here. Billy Strings fan club. Dust in a baggy. Seven days no sleep. Talks about using a lighter to heat it up.
[00:44:53] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. To the bulb.
[00:44:56] allen marcus:
This is what my youth pastor used to do with me. We'd, bring in song lyrics that he'd read off.
[00:45:02] Steve :
My tweaker friends have got me to the point of no return. You know who else was at the point of no return? Man called Jesus. He was in the desert, and he was being tempted. Come on, kids. Let's rap about this.
[00:45:19] allen marcus:
We wrapped last week.
[00:45:24] Steve :
We jumped around and
[00:45:26] allen marcus:
We had permission to jump around and get a little bit rowdy, little bit bowdy. But,
[00:45:35] Benjamin Balderson:
medical is probably not. Settle the fuck down over here. This is a moral establishment. Commit no nuisance. This sounds a whole lot like nuisance making to me.
[00:45:47] Steve :
Well, monk don't allow no guitar playing around here.
[00:45:51] allen marcus:
I am just gobsmacked by these lyrics. Alright. Now won't you listen? When I first met, you didn't realize. I can't forget you for your surprise. You introduced me to my mind and left me wanting you and your kind. Oh, yeah. I love you. Oh, you know it. At first, I thought this was about Jesus.
[00:46:14] Benjamin Balderson:
That that was the driest
[00:46:16] Steve :
reading of sweet leaf I've ever That's what Ben Shapiro's sex life sounds like.
[00:46:21] allen marcus:
I'm not trying to glorify this song at all, but it it it does kick kick a little bit of dust. My life was empty forever on a down until you took me, showed me around. My life is free now. My life is clear. I love you sweet leaf, though you can't hear, oh, yeah, baby. Come on now. Try it out. And then I get a little bit confused because it says straight people don't know what you're about. They put you down and shut you out. You gave to me a new belief. Oh, soon the world will love you, sweet leaf. Oh, yeah, baby.
[00:47:00] Benjamin Balderson:
Is this about chasing It's it's like Ben's it it's like fucking Ben's about Jesus. Fucking easy.
[00:47:06] Steve :
You see, alamarcus.com Yeah. How you introduced yourself. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Indeed. Severely scuffed intro.
[00:47:18] allen marcus:
We can redo it. You wanna start over? We're gonna
[00:47:21] Steve :
I mean, not we fuck it. We do it live. But We do it live, but we do post production too. Yeah. No. The sweet leaf that he's referring to is the leaf that Eve wore over her genitals. Her her her bathing suit area. Oh, the same. Yeah. Yeah. The her her no no square or private square. Yeah. Right. So That's that's the sweet leaf until temptation
[00:47:47] allen marcus:
Yep.
[00:47:50] Steve :
Destroyed the covenant that that both Adam and Eve had with I learned. I learned. Banished from the garden, dooming
[00:47:56] allen marcus:
all of of humans to life a sin. Yeah. I learned this in my Sunday school class. So Eve was covered by the fig leaf. That was the fig new plant. And Isaac Newton discovered gravity when the Which is a sin. When the apple fell on his head and struck him by lightning because he was having a kite with a key attached to it and and during a lightning storm. Right. Right. While they were fornicating.
[00:48:21] Steve :
Yes. And writing all of Shakespeare's plays. Posing his range. Electricity. Yeah. Yep. Yeah.
[00:48:28] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Makes sense.
[00:48:32] allen marcus:
Yeah.
[00:48:33] Benjamin Balderson:
Hey, Lucy.
[00:48:35] Steve :
What's happening, Lucy? What up, hometown?
[00:48:38] allen marcus:
Are you down there? That was the beginning of heterofatalism
[00:48:43] Steve :
when he didn't know fatalism. That is our new word of the day. Right? Yeah. They were fighting over Adam because he was the man. Oh, well and it's always the man bringing you down. Right?
[00:48:57] allen marcus:
Well, see, that's the thing. Women want to be satisfied, and they want a relationship with a man, but this heterofatalism leads them to always seeking a better man.
[00:49:14] Benjamin Balderson:
So it's fading Don't do that shit after dark.
[00:49:17] Steve :
Well, they can do that. That they have in common with an Eddie Vedder song?
[00:49:25] allen marcus:
Probably. Yeah. Do you have the lyrics to this song? I could send it to my youth pastor if it's on He needs
[00:49:32] Steve :
a fryer. He needs some handles. He'll find a Oh, no. What? Oh. Mhmm. Bishop.
[00:49:56] Benjamin Balderson:
Welcome to deliberating dog face dudes where we will absolutely slaughter any song, and we're just gonna spend the rest of the night either stating the lyrics as dryly as possible
[00:50:09] Steve :
State your name for the record. Or singing them as badly as possible. Nobody kicked you out of the telegram. I didn't even know that could be a thing. I'm ellen marcus dot com, and I'm Bro, I didn't. I don't know. I haven't even been in the fucking Telegram other than to drop the link for this show, like, all day.
[00:50:29] allen marcus:
We call it the praying spray. We just throw it out. There's, like, 900
[00:50:34] Steve :
admins on that thing. Aren't there, dude? Did you piss somebody off? Wait. Was it contentious in a group call? I don't know. Sometimes Shane gets drunk and does dumb shit.
[00:50:45] allen marcus:
Sometimes it's for our own good when God puts a wall around the garden and says, go go play outside. He ate too much fruit. Fig Newtons are just not great for your waistline.
[00:50:58] Steve :
Even though they're I just I know. I love Shane too. I just frequently see him apologizing to people in the Telegram group. Like, I didn't mean to end the voice call. I didn't mean to kick you out. I didn't mean to I just hit a button, and it's, like, 3AM in Australia. Yeah.
[00:51:18] Benjamin Balderson:
I've done that by accident. I could crush it. My one buddy, Dennis, and I know this guy, and I fucking I I fucking banned him from Karen's chat. I'm like, fuck. How did I do that? Shit. And then and then, and then, fucking, shit. Who is it? One of the other mods had to bring him back, so I couldn't figure it out. Billington. Billington had to bring him back, and I could because I couldn't figure that shit out. I was like, thanks, Billing. Appreciate that.
[00:51:53] allen marcus:
Computers are difficult. It's very difficult.
[00:51:59] Steve :
I fucked up the first, like, three or four times that I tried to do a Telegram, like, group call and ended the call instead of just leaving myself.
[00:52:09] allen marcus:
It it is embarrassing. And you know what's more embarrassing than that?
[00:52:13] Steve :
Being a self described ortho bro.
[00:52:18] allen marcus:
The second most embarrassing thing, according to this woman who wrote an article about heterofatalism, she says, straight being straight isn't is embarrassing.
[00:52:30] Steve :
Oh, is this about Shane Jones' performance at the ESPY Awards? Yes.
[00:52:35] allen marcus:
Yes. So I quote, I cannot count how often I've heard straight women say, I wish I were gay. It would be so much easier, or I know sexuality isn't a choice because if it were, no woman would be straight. Whenever queerness comes up in conversation, these statements are often said in a lighthearted half joking tone, but this is the problematic heterofatalism speaking.
[00:53:05] Steve :
I have something for this. I I do. Let me
[00:53:12] allen marcus:
You might have heard the word heteropessimism. That's another term that we use in the discourse.
[00:53:20] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. I don't have any of this.
[00:53:24] allen marcus:
No problems with disaffiliation with heterosexuality and straight culture?
[00:53:28] Benjamin Balderson:
No. I love pussy. Okay. Right. This this I don't know. I don't know. About it. My son big girl. But that's because I actually get it. So
[00:53:39] allen marcus:
So before I bury the headline, the author of this article, finalized her divorce with her husband and fell in love with another married man and decided she just wishes she were gay because it would be much easier to be in a relationship with a woman
[00:53:57] Steve :
than with a man. Yeah. Because that that works out because the the statistics on lesbian relationships are Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. I have something for this, and it's not something I would normally turn to, which is the comedy of Jim Jeffries.
[00:54:13] Unknown:
But
[00:54:14] allen marcus:
See, is he Jeffries? Divorce Son.
[00:54:18] Unknown:
Are lesbians by a mile. Lesbian marriages have the high check it. The highest rate of divorce in the world. The second level of divorce is heterosexuals. The lowest level of divorce is gay married men. Now let me mansplain to you what's just happened. The lesbians find it very hard to stay married because there are two women involved. Heterosexual marriages aren't without their complications because there is still one woman involved. Did you know the word gay means happy? With good reason because there are no women involved.
[00:55:26] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. And I and oddly enough, the violent statistics in relationships track that exact same pattern that lesbian relationships horrifyingly violent. Like, the the the jump Hey, babe. In the violence between a normal relationship and a and a lesbian is giant. It's just crazy. And then just like the the what he was saying right there, Steve's just answering phone calls now in the middle of the show. We're just talking on the phone during the show.
[00:55:56] allen marcus:
That's what's going on. If I had a banana phone, someone would call me right now and I'd answer it too. And I could probably clear up some confusion. There was an instance, on our livestream where I held up a banana and covered it in a whipped cream and and promised that I would not, do that publicly. Put the banana cream banana in my mouth in any way.
[00:56:20] Benjamin Balderson:
And then Was it was it gin girl scout cookie thin mint cream?
[00:56:24] Steve :
Was Kirk Cameron involved?
[00:56:27] allen marcus:
Kirk Cameron showed me how a banana is made by God because it fits perfectly in the palm of a hand because of the ridges. Like Yeah. You do one of these things, and the ridges of the fingers fits the banana perfectly. Yeah. And then he one of my favorite clips ever. And then he and then he proceeds to phalate the banana publicly
[00:56:47] Benjamin Balderson:
for the glory of god. Yeah. You got you gotta have them specifically fitted ridges because there's a lot of torque on a banana when you're when you're eating and handling a banana. You're gonna you're gonna experience a lot of torque on that. Well, I'm familiar with ridges and potato chips, but tell me, where else do we find ridges, Ben? Ruby?
[00:57:07] allen marcus:
Ruby?
[00:57:08] Steve :
On the backs of lizards, which were sent by Satan.
[00:57:12] allen marcus:
Satanic lizards.
[00:57:15] Steve :
Mhmm. And also mountain tops and also mohawks.
[00:57:24] allen marcus:
Are those in fashion again?
[00:57:27] Benjamin Balderson:
I do like a good mohawk. I can't really grow one anymore. I don't know what you call a mohawk that starts at, like, the back end of your head and just goes down the back. I don't know what you would call that exactly. But You could probably you could probably get yourself into, like, a decent half of mister t.
[00:57:42] allen marcus:
It's like a half hawk. A a full a partial hawk and not really a faux hawk. Because a faux hawk is a very It would be a a by hawk,
[00:57:50] Benjamin Balderson:
which does That was like that was like the third road warrior. You know, the the hawk had the you know, and the other one had the two, you know, and then the third one just had the just the back of his head. So does Oh, no. We've discussed this thoroughly, Lucy. Sandy Patty went to and sang at the church that I grew up in.
[00:58:09] Steve :
Like, personal friends with my my parents, along with the Gaithers and Harold Ramis of the Statler brothers.
[00:58:21] Benjamin Balderson:
I thought he was from the Ghostbusters.
[00:58:23] Steve :
Or Harold, whatever the fuck his name was. Ramis was from the Ghostbusters. That's the name that popped into my head because I don't know. I just I just Harold. I was quick on that. Who the fuck knows who Harold Ramus is anymore?
[00:58:37] Benjamin Balderson:
Oh, that's awesome. That's right. That's right. That's fair.
[00:58:41] Steve :
What the fuck was that guy's last name?
[00:58:47] allen marcus:
I'm looking up,
[00:58:48] Benjamin Balderson:
in Elle Forget the wide Fohawk. That's the oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like, Chuck Liddell had. Maybe I'd do, like, Harold Reed. I got Harold Reed. Maybe I could do one of the original So it was a last name that began with an r
[00:59:08] Steve :
and had an I in it. Mhmm. Now I'm a little high.
[00:59:13] allen marcus:
Yeah. Are you high enough to listen to the art Garfunkel and Amy Grant collaboration from 1986?
[00:59:20] Benjamin Balderson:
Fuck no. No.
[00:59:22] Steve :
Because No. I would rather listen to Garfunkel and Oates. We will celebrate
[00:59:28] allen marcus:
Christmas in July. It's quickly approaching, and we wanna look at the perspective of the nativity scene from the animal's perspective. When we want the music to be from our Garfunkel and Amy Grant, we want the year to be 1986, and we want it on cassette tape from Columbia Home Records.
[00:59:46] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. You got it for a penny, but you never paid that penny.
[00:59:49] allen marcus:
It was a pretty penny to pay for Yeah. 12 for the price of one.
[00:59:56] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Buy one, get the next 11 for a penny each. Yeah. Columbia Home Records. I I like those. And just
[01:00:02] Steve :
make sure that you sign up with all of the addresses of all of your neighbors that you know aren't home till five or 05:30, and the mail shows up between one and three, you get home about 03:30. And, yeah, you just go and collect your music and bring it back to the house.
[01:00:23] Benjamin Balderson:
That's what I did with them Time Life books. But one day, my mom caught me before I before mail before me, and there happened to be a bill for those books I've been receiving, and that bill got paid on my ass. Oh.
[01:00:40] allen marcus:
For a time, I was known as current resident, and I got a lot of mail.
[01:00:45] Benjamin Balderson:
Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's that's a that's a good alias. Yep. Right. Right. Kinda like that. Far enough into the six, they don't even bother with that shit. They're like,
[01:00:58] allen marcus:
you know, your hillbilly ass ain't getting it. Like, c u r r a n t, like the berry,
[01:01:04] Steve :
current and Yeah. No. You look far out in the sticks, and they're like, you're gonna come to us if you want anything at all. We're not we're not even gonna try. But no, dude. Amazon might throw it in the fucking lockbox at the very, very, very bottom of the road if you're lucky, and the fucking tweakers haven't cut all the locks off.
[01:01:28] Benjamin Balderson:
Dude, I consistently get into fights with the delivery places because they tell me they can't deliver to a PO box. But they also won't deliver to my house, so they deliver it to the post office where the post office puts it in my fucking PO box or puts a little key in there that says it's too big for me to get, so I need to go to this other box. Mhmm. Like, it's just gonna go to the post office anyways, you douchebags. Quit arguing with me. Oh, he don't deliver the PO boxes.
[01:01:58] allen marcus:
I did notice this pattern where it's like the the mailman shows up, doesn't ring twice, and then he's gone. And you get a note saying you gotta go pick up your package, but the package is still on the truck. So you have to wait till the truck arrives to unload it. It's difficult.
[01:02:20] Benjamin Balderson:
This never happens in my house.
[01:02:24] allen marcus:
They they, like, FedEx ninjas show up. They're fast enough to knock on your door, realize no one's home, and then leave a note, and then disappear before you can run to the door.
[01:02:35] Steve :
Oh, I I have I have experienced that once or twice where I, like, I'd yeah. When I was in Sonora, that happened a couple of times. It's like, like, UPS truck or FedEx truck would pull up. Yep. Here's the sign for the package. I would hear the freaking driver walk up, open the gate, knock on the door, and I went, like, through two rooms. Yeah. That room in a kitchen, through a living room to the door. And in that amount of time, he was pulling away in the truck. And and I didn't I didn't suddenly, like, get my legs cut off. I I didn't have, you know, a freaking crutches, wooden in a wheelchair maneuvering through an obstacle course. I didn't have the ninja warrior through it. You're handicapable, Steve. You can At at no point was I required to fight anyone from American Gladiators in order to pass through to get to the door.
[01:03:46] Benjamin Balderson:
They're back, though. Are you sure? I heard they're back and The Gladiators?
[01:03:52] allen marcus:
Yeah.
[01:03:53] Benjamin Balderson:
And and they do occasionally try and stop you from receiving packages. Every once in a while. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But this is pre,
[01:04:01] Steve :
you know, reboot. Oh, okay. It could have been randoms in training, and they had, like, got hired on with Amazon or UPS or something like that. You fed That's the best. You know, as part of their training, hop the fence. Right? Bang on the door, and then, you know, go around through, like, a different door, barrel roll back into the living room, grab a giant Q tip, fight me with it. Okay.
[01:04:32] allen marcus:
Okay. The state of the episode. Sure. So here's what I'd like to do. I'd like to pitch you an idea for a wife carrying contest, but it's the United States Postal Service versus the United Parcel Service. So USPS versus UPS in a wife carrying contest.
[01:04:53] Benjamin Balderson:
I think those UPS guys have fatter wives. It seems unfair.
[01:04:56] Steve :
That really well, no. I've met some postal wives. There's a mail carrier in our neighborhood. Going postal. His nickname was Bucky.
[01:05:06] Benjamin Balderson:
Everyone called him Bucky. I can't even remember what his real name was. To be fair, you expect him to have a giant wife. It's
[01:05:14] Steve :
yeah. Yeah.
[01:05:17] allen marcus:
I saw some marines this weekend. I went to a fair, a county fair, and they had marines that were didn't look American to me, but apparently were marines representing the American military. And they had a pull up bar, and they have a challenge. So you have to do, like, 10 pull ups or something. Maybe you get a Filipino? I, you know, I didn't ask. I didn't get close.
[01:05:40] Benjamin Balderson:
Not everybody in the in the military is like, some Filipinos and some of the other guys from the places that we own but don't let vote, they they do come and join the military. I didn't make eye contact, so I didn't see what was going on there. I just saw they got the weirdest problem with, you know, that, test that they do where they put the little bubble under your skin? The tuberculosis test. Oh. I have I've never seen anybody fail it till, most about half the Filipinos that were in, when I was in the army when I was going through training, about half of them failed it. Like, when when you fail that test, there ain't no doubt. His whole arm looked like it had gangrene. So let me let me let me take the test.
Uh-uh. T u b e r c u l o s I s. Did I get it right? That one where they took a little bubble on in your in your forearm, and they just kinda put the needle a little bit under your skin and then make a little bubble. Your whole arm after that, like, all of the Filipino guys that had tuberculosis, their whole arm just, like, swelled up and started looking all gangrenous and shit.
[01:06:44] allen marcus:
And that prevents them from doing, like, 10 pull ups on the the the chin bar? That prevents them. Tuberculosis,
[01:06:51] Benjamin Balderson:
as they say, is contagious. So that they take they take in ice they put them in isolation immediately. K. One of one of the contentious territory
[01:07:01] allen marcus:
medical information.
[01:07:05] Benjamin Balderson:
That's not really medical information. That's just army procedures.
[01:07:13] allen marcus:
Do you face your palms out or face your palms in when you're doing the the lift bar? So it's, like, out and then pull up or, like, facing you and then pull up?
[01:07:23] Benjamin Balderson:
Pull ups isn't, something you have to do in the army for your PT test, and they don't care which way you do it when you're doing it not just for your normal workouts. In the army, it was, you had to run two miles. You had to do a given amount of push ups in two minutes. It was, like, 32 to pass when when you were So running without taking breaks? Yeah. You had to do two miles in, fourteen minutes or something like that. Fourteen, fourteen and a half minutes. I could do it in eleven. Okay. I'm not I'm not the fastest runner, but I could do a one mile in five minutes.
And then you had to do, give a number of sit ups in two minutes. And then in the marines, you have to do pull ups as part of yours. In the air force, they don't run. They ride 10 speed bikes.
[01:08:18] allen marcus:
With the fat tires on them?
[01:08:20] Benjamin Balderson:
I have no idea. I wouldn't Which are, like, the the thin road bike tires. I think the thin ones because well, I mean, this is that's a mountain bike, isn't it? The the one with the fat tires?
[01:08:32] allen marcus:
The fat tires with the grip might be more of a mountain bike style. Like, the road bike for two differents is, like, a much thinner one. Yeah. I think it was more like that. Bikes as often anymore. Then they have, like, extra fat fat tires. Yeah. Going off of Walmart prices, they have, like, the Ozark brand. It's like a extra fat tire bike
[01:08:56] Benjamin Balderson:
for Oh, no, man. I was in the army in the nineties. Like, that was a long fucking time ago. They didn't have all that.
[01:09:07] allen marcus:
Did you ever ride a hog or a Harley or a chopper?
[01:09:10] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. I owned a Harley. Okay. I I I did not like it. I got a killer deal on a Harley that he'd bored the motor out. This thing was just mean as shit. Well, it didn't have a a compression release on it. Like, I like, here, I'll show you. There's one of I never used this one on this chainsaw. On my big chainsaw, though, I do. You You see there's this little, little button you could push and push that in. And what that does is when you go to pull the when you go to pull the in which I'm not gonna pull this right now, but when you go to pull this, if it's on the compression stroke, it allows that compression to go by and so that way you can actually turn the motor. Well, this Harley that I had was all decked out and, bored out the whole nine.
I had to go kick start it one day, and I went to kick start it, and it was on the compression stroke. And I went about halfway down, and the compression was more than I got asked because I'm only like one hundred and fifty pounds I was like, that was the end of that. I was I didn't really ride it too much after that. I was like, if you can't kick start your bike, you shouldn't be riding it, you know, for the most part. So had you not read Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance before maintaining your motorcycle in a Zen way? I did not know that there was a Zen way to maintain a motorcycle.
I've been a mechanic for a lot of years. I've I'm I'm an auto mechanic, a diesel mechanic. I was also trained in turbines and stuff, through the army. Mostly included, it's a lot of cussing, you know, some throwing things.
[01:11:07] allen marcus:
Like, that's that's At at the engines that you're repairing?
[01:11:10] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
[01:11:14] Steve :
I mean, how much are you supposed to get them to work? Right? That's what I'm saying.
[01:11:20] allen marcus:
It's basically, my experience with printers in the, IT department. Printers were terrible, and they always wanted them working, and they never work. So we'd you know, we could curse them, cuss them, pray over them, try everything. But, usually, we just had to calm down and and say, yeah. Let's just put in a order for a new printer. And they're like, well, look at the price of the printer. Could we just you know you know what? Here's the problem. You're trying to print something out that doesn't need to be printed out. Could you send it as an email instead?
Oh, yeah. I guess that'll work. Great. Is there anything else I can do for you? Your email's working? Very good. There's a whole discourse about, you know, Adobe's PDF files versus Word documents and attachments.
[01:12:13] Benjamin Balderson:
Yes. How did the reference conversation come up? Everybody's talking about school PE and school activities.
[01:12:19] allen marcus:
Chin ups.
[01:12:20] Benjamin Balderson:
Oh, the chin ups. Oh. The physical fitness test. Oh, right. Right. Now that makes sense. Good. Good call. Good call. Did you do any rope climbing? Yeah. Yeah. I'm real good at rope climbing. It's shocking to me that people can't climb the rope. It's real weird. Right.
[01:12:37] Steve :
That is kinda wild.
[01:12:40] allen marcus:
So that was that was kind of my, introduction to the the county fair. I walked in and I saw the marines, and I just kinda walked past them. They had a demolition derby that was going to happen that evening, and I parked outside of the the Fairgrounds on the street behind a fence where I could kind of look over the fence and kind of see where the Motor Speedway was. And it was getting to be about sundown, so they're starting the Derby. And I was just sitting in my vehicle having a a banana, getting that, nutrition I need, having a little drink of water, replenishing myself.
[01:13:18] Benjamin Balderson:
Were you putting whipped cream on it? I didn't bring the whipped cream.
[01:13:23] allen marcus:
You ate it all? That's not that's not for public consumption.
[01:13:27] Steve :
The vast majority of commercial bananas have zero nutritional value.
[01:13:32] Benjamin Balderson:
That's true. That's because there is no that's because there is no bananas. Right. We all hold that. There's plantains?
[01:13:41] allen marcus:
Yes. There are no bananas.
[01:13:43] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. There are no bananas.
[01:13:45] Steve :
Yeah. No. There are only plantains.
[01:13:48] allen marcus:
Yeah. So so there's there's three bicycles and three guys who are standing on their bicycle seat to look over the fence
[01:13:56] Benjamin Balderson:
because they wanted to see what was going on with the Derby. One of them Jewish, one of them Polish, and one of them German?
[01:14:03] allen marcus:
It looked that way to me. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Which would explain why the guy who was on the little scooter cart driving on the other side of the fence in the private area behind the pit crew was driving around yelling at the boys to not look over the fence. I was standing right where the curb was looking over the fence because I was just tall enough to do so.
[01:14:31] Benjamin Balderson:
Marcus is very tall and lanky.
[01:14:34] allen marcus:
True. So that was my act of, mischief and, for the day looking over a fence to to catch a derby that I had not paid for a ticket to sit down in a grandstand to see.
[01:14:47] Benjamin Balderson:
We used to do that sometimes at the drive in movies.
[01:14:50] Steve :
Mhmm.
[01:14:53] allen marcus:
The stands were filled with people, and there was three boys looking over the fence to see what they could see, which was not very much at all. And the security guard, brave of him, brave of him, had to do his job and tell them to not touch the fence. They couldn't hold on to the fence.
[01:15:13] Benjamin Balderson:
Okay. To be fair, occasionally, people get hurt at these derbies because the cars come apart. They crash. Things fly into the feds. So, I mean, you know, there is a little bit of a safety issue. And if they aren't you know, if you're a customer at the show, you've kind of agreed to to the dangers that are gonna happen. If you're outside the show, I don't know what kind of legal ramifications there would be for, somebody who's a bystander not participating in the event at all. Yeah. You know, a tire flying out and smashing them in the head.
[01:15:52] allen marcus:
You know about the length of a football field away from the action, so that would have to be a long
[01:15:57] Benjamin Balderson:
distance for the tire to to fly from the pit. Yeah. I was just watching a video of a monster truck rally when the monster truck went up, and it came down, and one of them tires went ding, and it ran clear out into the parking lot, bounced its way over the fence, and then bounced onto two cars, crushed two cars, kept on going right out the parking lot. Like, could you imagine being driving by and all of a sudden a fucking monster truck tires just, like, bouncing at you?
[01:16:32] allen marcus:
Yeah. I could imagine that in a small town. So it's a demolition derby. The object of this derby is to drive your vehicle into other vehicles to destroy them so that they can no longer make a victory lap around the the mud pit that they're fighting in. It started with little kids on little Power Wheels. So they had the little pow pow Power Wheels, you know, like the they had the Barbie theme Power Wheels. Those are popular in the early nineties, pow pow power wheels. They're driving those around in the Derby.
[01:17:10] Benjamin Balderson:
And then you got your it just got more generic now, so you don't back then, power wheels were the only people making them. We're not gonna go down the tractor supply or any other company, and there's there's a a 100 companies making those now. So Power Wheels kinda fell out of fashion.
[01:17:28] allen marcus:
Mhmm. So I guess my thought was those three boys were excited about race cars and demolition derbies and auto mechanic stuff, and they were looking over the fence to see what was going on. And, the Boys have that's supposed of all of their own?
[01:17:45] Steve :
Woah. Mhmm.
[01:17:49] allen marcus:
They they might be future race car drivers someday. Brought to you by f one in theaters now starring Brad Pitt. Have we seen the movie yet?
[01:18:00] Benjamin Balderson:
The last movie I saw in theaters, Brian and I went and saw, The Northman. It was awesome too. There was only, like, two other people in that whole fucking theater. I mean, we did do the matinee or whatever. You know? The last last movie I saw in the theater
[01:18:17] Steve :
was Cocaine Bear. Oh.
[01:18:22] Benjamin Balderson:
I thought you didn't like Owen Benjamin that much. Weren't you fighting?
[01:18:28] Steve :
Oh, no. No. No. I said movie. Movie. Oh. Oh. Film. You can't quite call it cinema because it was, you know,
[01:18:42] Benjamin Balderson:
horrible. A film. Also film. Have you seen that movie, The Gentleman? I don't believe so. Oh, dude. You've gotta watch that. That is that that show is freaking awesome, and it's got, what's the dude's name that says that? Colin. Colin Farrell. And Colin Farrell does not at all it's you can barely tell it's him. And he's like and he he's he's an Irish boxing coach, and he gets some blackmail on this dude, and he has it on film. And he's like, let's sit down and watch this film. Like, oh, it's hilarious.
[01:19:21] allen marcus:
I was listening to the the Pogues earlier. I think they are an Irish band. As everyone should. Yep.
[01:19:28] Benjamin Balderson:
It's that Guy Ritchie's movie. It's like the first big movie movie. Yeah.
[01:19:33] Steve :
Guy Ritchie. Yeah. I like his movies. Most of them have been pretty good, I think. For a dude who dated Madonna, he somehow wound up having a little bit of talent. That dude dated Madonna? Yeah, dude. That's why Madonna songs are in lock stock and two smoking barrels, and there's the whole, like, Madonna soliloquy and snatch. That's the the era that they were together.
[01:20:01] allen marcus:
Weird. Madonna's got Snatch. I hadn't thought I'd say that word today. The whole, like, bullet to Tony
[01:20:08] Steve :
story and Lucky Stars playing in the background. That's that's why there's a Madonna song in there because he didn't have to play.
[01:20:17] Benjamin Balderson:
During the, risque movie era, you know, when Basic Instinct came out and they they had to they made a bunch of other movies that were super sexualized and whatnot. Madonna was in one with Willem Dafoe. And there's this sex scene, and he pull she's, like, just in a bra or something, and it pans down her body And her face and her body down to her, you know, no no region. And on Madonna, that is a no no region. Mhmm. I could they, I remember I was only, like, 17. So you're ready you're ready to hump anything that's kinda warm. Right? And you're still like Ugh.
Like, I thought Madonna was gross back then. Yeah.
[01:21:05] Steve :
Guy Ritchie did a movie with Ray Liotta and Andre three thousand called Revolver, and it is one of the trippiest films I've ever seen in my entire freaking life.
[01:21:22] Benjamin Balderson:
Turn it this way.
[01:21:24] allen marcus:
Why? Is it about a gun? You were so weird.
[01:21:29] Benjamin Balderson:
No. For anybody that would like to know why my wife never comes on, Like, that was her just because of her paranoia that she might possibly somehow that corner of her come on. She made me turn the camera. So it's like over here
[01:21:44] Steve :
even though in it was like eight Yeah. My my girl didn't wanna be on camera at all. She'll show up for live events, which is fucking awesome. You know? Like, if she can get off work and stuff like that, and if I could do
[01:21:57] Benjamin Balderson:
yeah.
[01:21:58] Steve :
Yeah. Yeah. She'll do that. You know? I'm there. She's in the, she's in the documentary that T Snyder filmed Oh, cool. Partially at, the Nashville event. She's in that for, like, a a freaking frame and then, you know, out of it. But yeah. Cool.
[01:22:25] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Chris Christy has zero desire to be on on screen, on air. Absolutely zero. She's like, there's a reason that when Steve wants to talk to Christy, he just says, hey, Christy, because she's literally right here. But, no. She don't wanna be on the screen. Yeah.
[01:22:44] allen marcus:
Hey, Christie. Do you remember the first time you had an In N Out burger?
[01:22:51] Unknown:
I'm I am, like, the only Californian who hates I hate In N Out burgers. So I Okay. I don't remember it because it wasn't a good experience.
[01:23:00] allen marcus:
Right. I think it's a Minnesota thing or, like, places that don't have In N Out burgers. They're like, you gotta go to In N Out.
[01:23:08] Steve :
I mean, California will defend In N Out, but that's Thank you. You know, I mean, as far as fast food goes, up until a certain point, In N Out fell off dramatically. But they kept the scriptures
[01:23:24] allen marcus:
they kept the scriptures hidden in in their little cups. Yeah. In
[01:23:28] Benjamin Balderson:
California, it's not just those places where they don't have it. In California, In N Out is like a religion.
[01:23:36] Steve :
For a lot of people, it really is. But, yeah, it sucked from, like, 2020 on. I've never really, like, been like, oh, dude. That no. Uh-uh. But I mean I can almost guarantee I haven't eaten any fast food
[01:23:52] Benjamin Balderson:
since well prior to 2020, so I wouldn't even know.
[01:23:56] Steve :
No. No. I I would yeah. There's a whole bunch of different burger places I would rather go to. And at this point, Shake Shack, far superior.
[01:24:11] allen marcus:
Okay. There's
[01:24:13] Steve :
a a place in, Mill Valley called Super Duper Burger, and it is. It's great. It's fantastic. And it's fucking just is, like, old as fuck. Building's about the size of an apartment living room, you know, just on, like, the Old Town, Maine drag. Been there for since nineteen tickety two or whatever. And, yeah, it used to be like a a drive up, right, where you'd park. Mhmm. And they turned that into a drive through when it was no longer something that you wanted to put on insurance where you were putting teenagers and then, like, drunk college students on roller skates and tiny shorts to go carry a tray of food to a car.
[01:25:03] allen marcus:
Okay. Okay. So I know there's also a place called White Castle. I'm just writing down some burger joint and eggs.
[01:25:10] Benjamin Balderson:
I wanna organize them for the most special Minnesota. I haven't Right. I I rarely see White Castles except for a Minnesota. In fact, I had never eaten White Castle, and I get there, and we didn't even fucking drink that night. My friend's like, you never had White Castle? And then they introduced me to the slider. Slider. And and and they're these tiny little burgers, and they come in, like, a four pack thing. And you have to eat, like, 30 of them when you're a teenager in order to get full because you got a hollow leg. And the fries are tiny too, so you gotta eat 30 of those. And then I worked as a mechanic, and I worked at Kmart. And anybody that's been a mechanic, like, our bathrooms aren't like a normal bathroom because we have, like, lockers and all that kind of thing and real extensive washing stations because you go through a lot of nasty stuff as a mechanic. So you gotta have changes of clothes and clean yourself and all that. And I went in there the next day, and and it was, like, two in the morning. So, like, six hours later, I'm in the bathroom, and I had to pinch it off and walk to the other side of the Kmart and finish off in the customer area bathroom.
Like, I come back for finishing it off, and they have all the shop doors open. They have that bathroom door open. They have this giant fan blowing it out. They're like, whatever the fuck you did, don't ever do that again. And I have it. Jamie hasn't said anything, but, yeah, I will, drop her the Streamyard link. She had to do she was at a meeting right at,
[01:26:45] Steve :
time, and I should've It is 07:30 already. I should've dropped it to her, but it shouldn't have. Just yes. There was a absolutely worst case at Gene's root beer stand, and Gene's root beer stand is still fucking well, I don't know about still, but, like, the that that place was awesome. Absolutely awesome. Famed. I no. No. There might be there's a White Castle in Vegas, I think, but there's, like, one.
[01:27:19] Benjamin Balderson:
It's in your, X.
[01:27:22] allen marcus:
So we we could serve in, Chick fil A, Chick fil A?
[01:27:27] Benjamin Balderson:
Never eaten at a Chick fil A. I've been I I've never seen one until long after I was a vegetarian. Being a vegetarian really narrows that down for starts. And then when you have good at home food that is literally some of the best ingredients that you could possibly imagine and it's made in an at home meal, and then before you go to a restaurant, you're like, why did you shit on my plate? Yep. Why did you serve me a plate of shit?
[01:27:59] Steve :
Sounds like a Taco Bell dish. There's the I mean, there really are only a fucking handful of restaurants that I even feel like going to, and they're scattered all over The US.
[01:28:14] Benjamin Balderson:
Best restaurant in the country, sweet Melissa's in fucking Laramie, Wyoming. And that's because she's homemade making all the stuff and grows a lot of it, and it is amazing.
[01:28:26] Steve :
Oh, man. My I had a a friend who had a place in Burlingame for a while, and she was a hoe. And all of that food was homemade. All of it. Every last bit. It was delicious.
[01:28:39] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Yeah. If if you get lucky enough to find a place like that, remember it and then cry when it gets when it closes down. No. COVID shut her out, dude. It was fucking,
[01:28:49] Steve :
it was like her she was Salvadoran, but her dad was from Ecuador, and it was both of those on the same plate, and it was fucking delicious.
[01:29:05] Benjamin Balderson:
You know, I'm from the upper I'm from, as Steve likes to put it, Canada's taint. Mhmm. And and I don't have that distinguishment between all those different, Latin foods. You know, we have we have fucking Taco John's. It's Tex Mex Steve. It's Tex Mex. Are delicious, motherfucker.
[01:29:26] Steve :
Keith McHenry, who cofounded Food Not Bombs. The the who's on unemployable by federal decree because he's on he's been on the FBI's terrorist organization list since 1989 for providing meals to the homeless.
[01:29:46] Benjamin Balderson:
Some bitch.
[01:29:47] Steve :
Wow. Yeah. Keith McHenry. We were at the defeat the mandates thing in Los Angeles in, like, 02/2002. And I see Keith walk in, you know, or walk down or whatever to run over, and I was like, what's up, motherfucker? Because that's my dude. And he's like, hey. We have to go to breakfast tomorrow. You know? And I'm like, alright, Bette. Whatever it is, great. You know? Blah blah blah. I gotta get back. We're doing interviews and shit. You know? I was there with pasta. We were doing it for the show and stuff like that. And, next morning, you know, he's like, hey. You know, we're at this place, blah blah blah. Here's the address.
And we're driving there, and it's like the fucking bio homes. It's the it you're not in California anymore. You're in California. Yeah. And fucking there's we're, like, three blocks from actual fucking Skid Row. It's down there over there a little bit. We fucking turn up, like, Fourth Street, and there's this
[01:31:04] allen marcus:
Sebastian Bach?
[01:31:06] Steve :
There's this, like, teeny tiny row house looking place, little green awning out in front of it. Alright. You know? And then fucking Keith and his old lady are sitting there outside on the porch, and it's a Salvadoran fucking restaurant, dude. And it was, like, hands down the best fucking breakfast I've ever had in my entire life from a restaurant, babe, if you're listening. K? From a restaurant. We qualify that. But holy fuck, dude. It was so goddamn yummy. And they loved Keith and had known Keith for, like, twenty fucking years. And his old lady spoke, like, fluent dialectical Salvadoran because she had spent, like, ten years down there.
And so we got styled the fuck out. It was great, dude. So fucking good. Never going back. Was that in 1989?
[01:32:17] allen marcus:
What year was that breakfast?
[01:32:20] Steve :
Oh, it was in 02/2002. Yeah. Yeah. When Food Not Bombs got, labeled, domestic terrorist organization for, again, feeding homeless people. Uh-huh. Well, literally, anyone. Anyone. Their their promise is you you will get one hot vegetarian or vegan meal every day, rain or shine, drunk or sober. If you need food, we'll feed you. You know? And then sometimes they'll, like, hand out tents and stuff like that and, you know, but, oh, dude.
[01:32:53] allen marcus:
And then the vegetarian option wasn't soy and tofu?
[01:32:57] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. See, where I'm from, the foreign people are Canadian. And and and that's not really an ethnic food. That's just, like, less flavorful American food. Right. Like, like, they've just managed to put less spice in it. Yeah. You're like, holy shit. And then and then, Native American food. I've had all the different Native American
[01:33:18] allen marcus:
Wild rice is actually a seed. It's not rice. Did you know that? What's that? Wild rice is a seed, and it's not actual rice. Yeah.
[01:33:28] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. So that's that's true. Christy had a cut. Christie's, one of Christie's clients was, like, the biggest wild rice grower in California.
[01:33:37] Steve :
So we do get some wild rice. Like, we should do a lot of rice soup. Food Not Bomb. I mean, like, hopefully, like, most of the people that are watching are at least, like, halfway familiar with Food Not Bombs. But over the last ten years here. Hey, Emily. Over the Emily, hop in if you're bored. Ben will send you a link.
[01:33:56] Benjamin Balderson:
Okay. I will do that.
[01:33:59] Steve :
No no pressure. Do it. You know, we're we're not trying to, like, encourage you or anything, but you should. But, yeah, over the last, like, ten years, like, Keith has become, like, a really fucking good friend of mine, and he's on the show frequently. And, yeah, dude, I fucking I love that guy. The story time with Keith is abso fucking lutely hilarious. It's the best thing. He was kidnapped by the son of God in Africa. And then once they found out that he was like, shit broke and literally nobody was going to ransom him, they were like, ah, fuck it. You can go.
[01:34:46] Benjamin Balderson:
You ate more shit. Get out of here.
[01:34:49] Steve :
They were like, oh, it's an American tourist, and he's pudgy. I bet he's got money. You know? And he's like, I serve homeless people, donated food for a living, and teach other people how to, like, basically set up those kitchens. I didn't have a Western Union traveler's check at all? Nothing on them? No no booty?
[01:35:12] allen marcus:
No treasure? No ransom? Not even a Ruby Ridge?
[01:35:19] Steve :
No. No, man. No. No. No smuggled diamonds bid, you know, smuggled the fucking Whitlam purse. No. Up your your prison purse. No. Nothing like that.
[01:35:37] allen marcus:
Still haven't seen uncut gems yet with, Adam Sandler. I have not seen the trailer for Happy Gilmore two, so please no spoilers. Wanna go into fresh, like, eat fresh, like Subway. I know Shooter McGavin is doing a campaign for Subway, eat fresh with Happy Gilmore meals.
[01:35:57] Benjamin Balderson:
Mhmm. Yeah. Like I said, outside, I I don't even really watch. I don't I can't even name five movies that have come out in the last five years I've watched. The Northman being one of them because, obviously, I had to watch that. And Eggers is freaking fantastic. I can't watch that witch movie he had, but maybe this werewolf coming out, one coming out. That which one, I couldn't even watch that. Just the trailers of that fucked me up.
[01:36:25] allen marcus:
Curious to see what Eggers is gonna do with the Labyrinth franchise.
[01:36:30] Steve :
Oh, I don't know, man. Gonna be really hard to well, like, the amount of trauma inflicted on the child actors along with, you know, all of the other people involved in that, I mean, you're gonna have to find some real psychos
[01:36:47] Benjamin Balderson:
to to capture the moment again. He he's talented. I believe he could do it. Although, no David Bowie singing. So probably, I it won't traumatize kids as much, but it wouldn't traumatize me as much. Because, unfortunately, my oldest daughter, who I love dearly, went through that you know, how kids go through that phase where they need to watch the same thing, over and over and over for about a year and a half. The labyrinth was was one of hers. And I I have despised David Bowie ever since, and I I I I hate that fucking movie. Hate it with a passion. My son even made me, like, quit liking, you know, that Jay and Silent Bob or whatever. That was pretty funny the first time or two you see it. But the twelfth, the fiftieth, the hundred and eightieth, I went out and did like that fucking the office where they stop that fax machine into the ground. I did that with that with that movie.
[01:37:50] allen marcus:
Yeah.
[01:37:51] Benjamin Balderson:
It's like, this will never get played in my house again.
[01:37:57] allen marcus:
Makes sense. I
[01:38:00] Benjamin Balderson:
understand. So I have traumas from the labyrinth.
[01:38:03] allen marcus:
Okay. Let's see if I can bring up some more trauma for you with your permission, with your consent. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. No. I'm done. I was dropping the screenshots for the YouTube stuff and, It's alright. No. It took me a while to find it. I got a lot of lot of lot of ducks not quite in a row. Okay. Cool. Because I got, like, four more to do. I was just just getting started. So It's alright. We'll just keep riffing back and forth. So, I noticed something, and I don't know if this is going to be, absolutely disturbing in, in a way that is unquantifiable or just absolutely hilarious. And I just wanna put it out there. I I was making possible controversial thumbnail art to garner some more attention. So I'm gonna put this up to see if this is, something we wanna use to promote the show.
[01:39:01] Benjamin Balderson:
The deliberating Oh my god. Oh my god. Ah, the controversy.
[01:39:07] allen marcus:
Right. It's it really has to do with the eyebrows. Right. The eyebrows. You see the the the similarity in the eyebrows? I do goblin king with, little taquito here. I call him Mikael taquito, a k a mind war.
[01:39:26] Benjamin Balderson:
And I definitely remember the eyebrows.
[01:39:28] allen marcus:
Yes. Very memorable. So here he is doing a Final Fantasy globe holding thing. I think it works with the brand. We kinda have the sadies nostalgia thing and, a little bit of a gothic lace dress. He's got a girl there. Okay.
[01:39:45] Benjamin Balderson:
That is not a pirate queen of the night. I'll tell you that.
[01:39:50] allen marcus:
No. It's not Cassandra Peterson. I'm not gonna identify the the name of the woman there. I think she had a fun goddamn night. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So
[01:40:02] Benjamin Balderson:
this is an action. Wondering what Steve's talking about. YouTube decided that, my videos were not me, and I'm reusing videos. And so they said it's not original content.
[01:40:17] allen marcus:
Like, hey. This is original content. It's never been seen before until now.
[01:40:22] Benjamin Balderson:
We we were hoping that we'd be asking you guys what kind of, emoji things and whatnot you wanted and whatnot. And instead, YouTube's like, no. Your stuff's not you. Mhmm.
[01:40:39] allen marcus:
It's like we're going up against the goblin king.
[01:40:42] Benjamin Balderson:
Yes. Yes. And they stole the bait. And I can't I can't imagine Marty Weeds is ever gonna show up California contrarian.
[01:40:54] allen marcus:
Marty Marty, you're welcome to join us. We're talking about controversial figures, and I guess you're a little bit of a controversial figure amongst our chat room here.
[01:41:09] Benjamin Balderson:
Can't enjoy. Yeah. That chicken shit ain't never gonna show up. I guess the company bunch of really weird shit.
[01:41:18] allen marcus:
So, you know, David Eggers, if you're looking for ideas about a labyrinth prequel sequel, spiritual sequel thing, here's some ideas. We're gonna keep the eyebrow thing because that's essential. It's true. Kind of the the hairstyle, it's it's part of the part of the Goblin King attire. We wanna make it a little bit pudgier and and more androgynous and maybe a less attractive way because David Bowie is too sexually confusing to too many young people with the, codpiece he had on. So we wanna loosen the clothes. We wanna just, loosen everything up a little bit. A little little bit more tasteful?
[01:41:56] Benjamin Balderson:
A little more tasteful. Copies was, like, the only redeeming quality at all. There was everything else I had a problem with. Mhmm.
[01:42:06] Steve :
Okay, Bulgazer. Okay. Alright.
[01:42:09] Benjamin Balderson:
Quit pretending like you don't want a fucking codpiece, Steve. Don't bullshit.
[01:42:14] Steve :
Alright, cockpawker.
[01:42:16] Benjamin Balderson:
You've watched you've watched Dune. You saw the glory of Sting coming out in a codpiece. Bro. You know who you wanted was that, Ben. That's true. Don't even fucking lie. I'm I'm not I'm not here to judge.
[01:42:29] Steve :
We're friends. You know? It's okay. But you don't have to drag me into your gay shenanigans. You don't. It's alright.
[01:42:38] Benjamin Balderson:
It's alright. You're the one with the, like, beer in a bath poster, bro. It's, you know This is good. This is coming from a guy that was drinking boba tea out of a fucking chai tea out of a fucking paper straw. Okay. So he's just trying to redeem
[01:42:52] Steve :
himself, and I feel great. Thank you.
[01:42:56] Benjamin Balderson:
I feel feel like three beverages are He's gonna he's gonna douche with, he's gonna douche with all natural oils later and have himself a fucking nice meditation.
[01:43:06] Steve :
I do have some cannabis oil that I was thinking about later. Yes. I do. I do.
[01:43:12] allen marcus:
That'll help you get to the labyrinth in under thirteen hours. Just slide right through. All greased up. No grapple. No grapple.
[01:43:26] Benjamin Balderson:
See, he knows what is going on. Cod pieces are totally metal.
[01:43:30] Steve :
Yeah. Yeah. Rob Halford metal. Mhmm. Absolutely. You're correct. You are. Spot on.
[01:43:39] Benjamin Balderson:
Spot on. I don't even know what the fuck you plan on doing in the apocalypse, Steve.
[01:43:47] allen marcus:
Polyester? Shit. Available fabrics?
[01:43:52] Steve :
Right. I I was I was thinking I was thinking more like like full length and kind of, like, bulletproofed and kitted out, like, leather duster. Right? Mhmm. You know, fairly wide brimmed hat, keep the sun off my eyes. Sure. Probably gonna break the only pair of sunglasses I have fairly early on. That's just my luck. So, you know, what wider wider brimmed hat. And then just as as many guns as I can collect. That was mostly the plan. Although, if I need to, you know, I can work on vehicles without a computer brain. Alright. Yeah.
[01:44:33] Benjamin Balderson:
Well, you saw the you saw the Mad Max mobile.
[01:44:36] Steve :
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Computer
[01:44:38] Benjamin Balderson:
on that monster. Yeah. It's just we we just gotta get we just gotta get a machine gun mounted to the back. And we're ready.
[01:44:50] Steve :
Yeah. And RIP Theo Huxtable, I saw that in the the chat.
[01:44:55] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. That's crazy. That dude's only a couple years older than I am. The least rapiest male Huxtable. Yeah. Yeah. Get the fuck out of here, you fucking douche. Zero reason for you to do that. Spookums. Damn it, Spookums. Oh, Spookums was being such a shit last night. My dad was laughing at me about it.
[01:45:24] allen marcus:
So what's the opposite of a scaredy cat? A cat that is so unafraid of anything.
[01:45:29] Steve :
Pain in the ass cat. Right. Fucking cat. Goddamn cat. Stupid fucking cat. Fucking goddamn it. Yeah. Yeah.
[01:45:40] Benjamin Balderson:
This is the best cat. This is this is cutest. She's the best cat. The other cat's all kind of a pain in the ass.
[01:45:51] Steve :
Well, I mean, no wonder, dude. You give the one cat that's the good cat. They're like, oh, you're the cutest. You're the best. You give that cat that name. They're like, oh, yeah. I'm gonna act like that. The other one, you give some racist ass name. I know it was Christie. I know it was. And her inherent racism. I know that. I'm not blaming you. Chad. You know? Chad. But and that cat is going to behave thusly. Okay? It's it's all the yeah. I I don't make the rules. I don't. Cat chat. Cat chat makes the rules. Cat chat. Is racism real?
[01:46:25] allen marcus:
Solve it right now in the chat.
[01:46:28] Benjamin Balderson:
My wife is the most casually racist person that's ever been. Like, innocently racist, though. It's not even Yeah. Yeah. She doesn't know what she's doing.
[01:46:37] Steve :
No fucking idea it's racist until some racist points it out. Yeah.
[01:46:42] Benjamin Balderson:
And this she's like and then she's just mortified. So, oh my god. Like Oh, okay. Regularly, this happens. It's hilarious. She's very uncultured. She hung out with Hollywood white people.
[01:47:02] allen marcus:
I was once called an uncultured swine, and I'm okay with that. If that individual Yeah. You wear a hat too. I I ironically. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's hard to wear hats with headphones, but I can put a hat on if that's gonna help.
[01:47:20] Benjamin Balderson:
Do you literally have the hat I was mentioning fucking sitting right next to you. That is wild.
[01:47:29] Steve :
He's, quick with the props.
[01:47:32] Benjamin Balderson:
Dude, I tried telling everybody he's got, like, a pocket universe right next to him. True. Do you have deliberating dog face dude shirt on,
[01:47:41] allen marcus:
dude? Yeah. Did you finally just notice that? Yes.
[01:47:45] Benjamin Balderson:
Are you well, I you've been so close to the camera. I have not seen that. That is a
[01:47:51] Steve :
fair point.
[01:47:53] allen marcus:
Alright. We do have shirts. Okay. I was here how's that for a tagline? Can you see that? Say sit, stay, stay what's real. Alright.
[01:48:03] Benjamin Balderson:
Yes. Nice. That's a winner. Very good. That's a winner. That's a winner. Nice.
[01:48:12] Steve :
Very nice. Do you want me to send that over to my merch dude?
[01:48:17] allen marcus:
It's a possibility.
[01:48:19] Steve :
Because I'm sure he'd throw it up on the website because the all I have to do is send him a design. It's a you know, like, if there's orders for shirts come in, he hits up the company in Texas that makes the actual shirts. They send him the shirts. He prints them and ships them off.
[01:48:38] allen marcus:
I'm like, you know what's that? Shirts.
[01:48:41] Steve :
Yeah. And all I have to do is send him a design, and he'll be like, oh, I'll put that up on the thing. Alright. Nice. Cool. By the way, they're third eye carnival hoodies for the Nashville event. If you were there and you want one, you should go get them because they're fucking awesome and they're $35 because we're not dicks. We're not fucking dicks about it. Our shirts are $16, dude.
[01:49:11] Benjamin Balderson:
Nice. Yeah. Dude, that's cheaper than I was getting, you know, seedless.
[01:49:19] Steve :
Uh-huh. Oh, yeah, dude. I I'm fucking Bloomington, Indiana.
[01:49:24] Benjamin Balderson:
Ben Yeah. I didn't yeah. Vendor for them, and they still didn't send sell me their shit that cheap. Yeah. No. I was surprised. I'm surprised that it was from Indiana when the dude was so dewy.
[01:49:41] Steve :
Well, they do have them there.
[01:49:46] Benjamin Balderson:
Back when seedless was cool before it was a decade California company.
[01:49:51] Steve :
Yeah. Well, you know, they they kinda had to bounce. And
[01:49:57] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. That's was also there back when they were putting, like, hidden compartments
[01:50:01] Steve :
in all their stuff. Yeah. I I owned a head shop there at the same time. Like, we talked weekly, if not, you know, almost on the daily there for a couple of years and fucking it it got hot for everybody. And fucking so the and Lucy in the chat and anybody else who happened to be in Bloomington, Indiana in the early nineties or visited or any shit like that mid nineties, there was a head shop that had been in Bloomington forever. It was called the Dharma Emporium, and it was owned by this piece of shit named Rick. And fucking, Fuck you, Rick. Fucking dude, he was a scumbag, like, creeping on all the fucking college girls who were trying on little hippie tops and stuff like that. And, yeah, dude, scumbag.
Anyway, there was, like, one other glass shop across town. I can't remember what it was, but it was like the, you know, the opposite where it was purely for custies and fucking frat boys and fucking, you know, sorority girls to buy high end fucking whatever. And so this dude, Steven Arthur, me, started a place called Magic Bus, and it got really hot in Bloomington. We helped a a couple of people own open up a second Magic Bus in Broad Ripple, which is neighborhood in Indianapolis. It was there forever. I don't know if it still is or not. And it was like the middle ground between that.
And there was a fucking coffee shop right in the back, like, smoothie shop and shit. It was adorable. That also did live music from time to time. And you could walk through from one to the other. And, yeah, dude, we we had seedless out the ass. We had glass blowers from all over the world, not just the same, like, four or five people that were in the other two jobs.
[01:52:21] Benjamin Balderson:
Very nice. Cool. Cool. Cool. But, yeah, Steve's current shirts are retail a bear retailing to you guys for a better deal, and I was getting wholesale on that shit. So
[01:52:36] allen marcus:
Mhmm.
[01:52:38] Steve :
Yeah. In 2025, you can't fucking beat it. You can't.
[01:52:44] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. I gotta send you them
[01:52:46] Steve :
Yeah. If there's a research MILF in your life, there's a research MILF shirt for that research MILF.
[01:52:58] allen marcus:
How how would I go about researching the MILF?
[01:53:05] Steve :
Watch the cinematic masterpiece American Pie.
[01:53:12] allen marcus:
Yeah. Oh, I think I've seen that. It's with the, cinematic Wow. What's her name? Shannon? What is what is her name?
[01:53:26] Steve :
I'm I actually don't know. Don't know. This is what I'm talking about. This is the the shirt. So blatantly Elizabeth. Blatantly ripping off the Santa Cruz Skateboard Company. Like, I was literally thinking that too. I'm like,
[01:53:47] Benjamin Balderson:
that that looks exactly like the Santa Cruz symbol.
[01:53:50] Steve :
Blatantly ripping it off because it's badass. That's why. It's iconic. And I was like, I need to do something that I could actually do, like, that could pass you know? I could throw it in fucking truck stops if I wanted to kind of thing. And so that was one of the ones. But It's good design. $15 for the tank top for the research in your life. If she's not worth $15, you're a piece of shit. Yeah.
[01:54:25] allen marcus:
Like the Walmart one.
[01:54:27] Steve :
We'll we'll get there. Ben, you'll dig this one. He Meyer's Bar and Grill.
[01:54:36] Benjamin Balderson:
That's what I'm talking about. Drink here, get plowed.
[01:54:40] Steve :
That's what I'm talking about. Yeah. That doesn't show up as well on the ground, but, yeah, He Meyer's Bar and Grill, Granby, Colorado. Drink here, get plowed.
[01:54:50] Benjamin Balderson:
Not all heroes wear capes.
[01:54:53] Steve :
He was a reasonable man.
[01:54:56] allen marcus:
Love Joe Lozar.
[01:55:02] Steve :
Yeah. Why Mart shirt? Because that's where we're living right now. It was in Waimardia, and it's it's burning $100 bills. Let's see what else we got. I don't know if anybody remembers the particular print of LSD, the Goony birds, but we have one of those.
[01:55:26] allen marcus:
The vans are cool. I like the van life. Oh, me too.
[01:55:33] Steve :
Don't trust the state. Beautiful. I wanted to I would've still wanna do, like, a whole fucking board of tourism style, you know, thing because I've got that one and then, you know, the high on life and some shrooms.
[01:55:51] allen marcus:
I can hear hear the eagle. The what the scorch or the what's that eagle sound that you hear? It's freedom. Free the sound of freedom. Okay. I I I was I I I said the thing, and then I thought of the Colbert Report. And I'm like, well, that guy is not on television anymore. Thank goodness. Freedom.
[01:56:12] Steve :
We got Bigfoot, aliens, a weed field. What more could you possibly want on the side of your kick ass van? Airbrush or on a big purple van. Right. Living the life. Except for possibly more aliens and more weed
[01:56:32] allen marcus:
because it's a stoner van. Is that the research mill fan?
[01:56:36] Steve :
It I mean, hey. Is that where the research happens? I I don't ask questions about something you do in the van. I don't. I don't.
[01:56:46] Benjamin Balderson:
My uncle in real life had a van like that, and he had heckle and Jekyll on the side. It was pretty fucking late. Bill Cooper on a pale horse. I have behold. Behold it.
[01:57:03] Steve :
Wow. I love that shirt. Shout out to Johnny Larson for design. OG. This is the the one that is the most popular on the store, also drawn by Johnny Larson.
[01:57:19] allen marcus:
Zero g. Is that talking no gravity? No grams? OG. Zero g. I mean, it could mean anything. Sam Tripoli version of that.
[01:57:28] Benjamin Balderson:
That's the that's my that was the shirt I got when I went and saw Sam Tripoli was the Sam Tripoli Unabomber shirt.
[01:57:36] Steve :
And then, yeah, that was the the Nashville third eye. Nice. Again. If anybody was there oh, it's $30. Holy shit, dude. What are you doing? That's cheap. What are you doing? Go get one.
[01:57:56] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Homie Romy bought me that, the Sam Tripoli one. We went to, see and saw Sam together. My wife and I and Don Anakidan and Homie Romy.
[01:58:08] Steve :
Mhmm. Quiet. Yeah. I'm doing my chicken. Joe. Sam does a good Joe.
[01:58:21] allen marcus:
When's his next show? Like, stand up? Yeah. Is he filming a special?
[01:58:30] Steve :
I mean
[01:58:31] Benjamin Balderson:
Just kinda touring the local places. Let's find out. Does he have a schedule on a website somewhere? No. He's been he's been hitting up a lot of big podcasts lately, so he probably does have something he's cooking up because he's I saw he was on with fucking he was on with fucking Andrew Wilson the other day
[01:58:49] Steve :
and Jake Rattlesnake. They like each other, though.
[01:58:53] allen marcus:
They they do. He was with Jamie Kennedy on the Jamie Kennedy experiment podcast experience.
[01:59:00] Steve :
Yeah. Also homies.
[01:59:02] allen marcus:
Cool.
[01:59:05] Steve :
Well okay. So, what, five nights in Kansas City, probably taping a special.
[01:59:13] Benjamin Balderson:
That is wild to me. Are you saying that he's friends with Jake or friends with Andrew?
[01:59:17] Steve :
Andrew.
[01:59:18] Benjamin Balderson:
That's kinda wild. Right? Because fucking historically, anyways, Sam was, like, full degenerate. Yeah. Full degenerate. Like, glorified the degeneracy. I I assume you put the ducks up. K. Thank you.
[01:59:35] allen marcus:
The, There is redemption. There's a redemption arc possibility. And Andrew is, you know, mister,
[01:59:41] Benjamin Balderson:
holier than thou and freaking, you know, preaching against degeneracy. Although I you know, a lot of that, I'm sure, is just an, you know, an act, his persona that he's put on that he almost can't fall out of at this point. Messi wants to quit soaking in them big bucks. He
[02:00:01] Steve :
said that. At this point, he could probably retire fairly comfortably staying, you know, in rural Michigan with the house paid off, property paid off, and shit like that.
[02:00:14] Benjamin Balderson:
That's what I'm talking about. That's what I do.
[02:00:17] Steve :
You know? Yeah. You don't you don't need to be a kajillionaire for that.
[02:00:23] Benjamin Balderson:
No. No. But if you wanna quit raking that in, I'm sure he has college kid kid college he'd like to pay for, new trucks, things like that. Funny how quickly money goes when you got it.
[02:00:36] Steve :
Right. Yeah. I agree. I agree.
[02:00:40] Benjamin Balderson:
You know? And especially, it it's funny how no matter how much money you're making, you seem to spend just that much, you know, on your lifestyle. Like, it you know, the person that's making, you know, $15 an hour has just as hard to you know, has just as hard a time putting money away as the person making $50 an hour. Like
[02:01:07] Steve :
Yep. Especially if you have kids. I'm checking. That's why that's why, like, you know, we could pretty much every dad has a picture of his kids in his wallet because it's where his money used to be. Yeah. Yeah. That's what's there instead. And you're like, oh, yeah. That's why. Alright.
[02:01:29] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Is there any
[02:01:30] allen marcus:
any guests in the back pocket that I've confirmed?
[02:01:33] Benjamin Balderson:
And the thing is to, to keep making that kind of money, you have to be a polarized figure. You can't be reasonable at all. Like, reasonable doesn't sell.
[02:01:44] allen marcus:
I've been trying to be unreasonable all night. Should I be more unreasonable? You know what? It was unreasonable the way you read Sweet Leaf. That was fucking unreasonable. That was unreasonable. That's yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I hope that's I hope that's clicked clipped and shared across the Internet, and it goes viral. And my my name is, and people go to my website and make fun of my hat that I wear on my own web page. And you're like, yay. Traffic,
[02:02:12] Steve :
bitch. Yep.
[02:02:18] Benjamin Balderson:
And, no, we, I I I've crossed swords some with Chase Haggard about the event or about the debate that we're gonna have. So that's the closest thing to a guest. I haven't I have been very busy the last couple weeks, with a lot of stuff. Some of it good, some of it not so good, going on. But, so I have not gotten around to digging up guests. So that one and and then also, I got heat stroke and beat up by my bowl right before that. So but we we were crossing swords, but they have yet to give a date. And they they wanna make the debate basically all legalese, which is what they do. And I said, I understand that that's the way you guys debate, and I'm okay with doing half the debate that at that. You know, we can all sit there and and argue about the meaning of a word, for half the debate. But the substantive the substantive part of the debate, the heart of the matter is also gonna get discussed. So we're not gonna sit there and play the logic game, which you guys don't even use logic correctly anyways.
Like, I understand you bully everybody else around about it, but you're full of shit with it for the most part. And you guys have built up such a heavy rhetoric rhetoric about it and then are able to bully so well, and it don't work. Like, I actually I just had it out with Jim Bob about in that vein the other day because, according to, Orthodox, the the laity, which means the layman, which is the common folk, are not meant to read the Bible alone. And so you have to have the clergy around. Well, that means you can't really read it. And because inside the word reading is this comprehension thing that has to happen. Otherwise, you're just looking at words. If you can't read, which means put that word into a comprehension and make that word mean something, then you're not actually reading. You're just looking at words. Chat participation opportunity. The word is laity.
[02:04:32] allen marcus:
Spell it in chat. Yeah. So First the first the show wins. Laity.
[02:04:40] Benjamin Balderson:
We had a big old argument and discussion about that, and then I got into into it with another ortho bro because, the Christians try saying that, there was no canonization at the council of Nicaea, that that's just a popularized thing because of Voltaire. But Saint Jerome, who's the saint of translating and recording in history, that guy said that they they decided which books were sacred scriptures. So, like, specifically, the book if his on his prelude to, the book Judith, which is considered canonical, that was made into a sacred scripture at the council in Isea. So that means they were canonizing books. So that means in the later, councils where they started arguing over which book should be taken out, that doesn't mean that there wasn't an original canon set. And Jerome, the most sainted celebrated historian and translator who had actual access to the information from the council, which has been lost since then. And if you look it up, the only thing that we can tell from what happened is from secondhand sources and then the things that changed in the religion because of it. So, but the actual records themselves gone.
But that guy got to see it, and this is what he said. So all these numb nuts fucking Christians today that wanna say stupid shit, they just start and and then they always blab out. Oh, it was Voltaire that said that. Voltaire said that and Voltaire, I believe, was being tongue in cheek with it, said that when they picked the books of the Bible at the council in ICA that they stacked them on a table and whichever ones fell off, those are the ones they threw out. So, basically, he was saying they willy nilly threw books out not by virtue of importance or significance or anything like that.
He wasn't actually saying that. I don't believe.
[02:06:55] allen marcus:
Right. I think, we got the spelling of laity correct in chat. Was it Windham Root who got it?
[02:07:04] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. I had to look that word up. And then I and then I just posted it right behind it because it says right in there as opposed to the clergy. It's like, oh, so the lady isn't supposed to read it. He's like, I never said that. Yeah. You did. Yeah. You did. It's a weird thing when you're arguing on x as opposed to in a debate where you can just screenshot and then just repost you. Yeah. You said it. Right there. And then tried to drag it into that weird semantical shit that they do, which I do understand that we have to both have an understanding of what the other person means because there is varying definitions because in today's world, people just makes up make up their own definitions, which is a lot of what ortho bros do.
But they they don't do it in order to clarify the situation. They do it to muddy the water.
[02:07:58] allen marcus:
Like the Labubu Pazuzu situation that's Labubu Pazuzu. Real money right now. Yeah. It it's a it's a, Abu Dhabi. What's that other place? Abu Ghraib, I think was the other spelling.
[02:08:12] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Yeah. It's it's a terrible thing. That's what I'm saying. This is the same type of bullshit that they do, and it's got no foundation to it. And and they have to play that game because then their entire world grounding comes out of their, lineage through their their what they claim is a unbroken lineage from the apostles.
[02:08:39] allen marcus:
And then they also talk about the living tradition, understanding the cultures change over time and things that remain the same, and they like the church fathers. So, like, the old stuff, you know, I go back to, like, nineteen nineties Christian music CCM. To me, that's the old stuff, but then people will show me, well, there was actually even older Christian music that existed before I was born so that we can go to the the history of gospel and that sort of thing. The ortho bros, hashtag, pejorative usage, and their rhetoric here.
The the problem I seem to have with them is they're not explaining to a blue collar, layman audience what the point of it is beyond the righteousness, beyond, you know, God said so. He's good. Follow him. This type of thing. Don't sin. Okay? Community, great. Fellowship, great. But beyond that, it's like you're selling me on orthodoxy, which is a flavor of Christianity to me. I mean, I I have my own flavors of Christianity. I'm familiar with I'm unfamiliar with orthodoxy. So if I could be made more familiar to feel more comfortable around orthodox people who won't tell me I'm a terrible person for my Protestant interests.
Because a lot of the argument that happens amongst the ortho bros is are against Catholics and Lutherans, and it's just flavors of Christianity arguing what flavor that they want to It's the one true church, and you can tell by the beards.
[02:10:37] Steve :
With the dresses and the tall hats and Right. Right. Yeah. Right. Right. So beyond that,
[02:10:45] allen marcus:
I'm and and then the other question I'm asking openly, this is an open letter, open question to all those who consider themselves to be orthodox. Do orthodox people create Orthodox art to influence culture outside of Orthodoxy, or does Orthodoxy just remain in its own sort of, like, they close the door, and now we're having Orthodox church, and we open the door, and we go out, and we're in the secular world. Like, do they try to influence their neighborhoods? Do they try to reach out? Do they have missions programs? Can anybody walk into an Orthodox church whenever there's an Orthodox service and be let in? Or do they have to have a secret handshake or a membership card or a pog or a pin or a hat or a costume or something? Is there a dress code? I mean, these are the types of practical questions I'd like to know because in my mind, ortho bros exist solely on Discord channels in the virtual cyberspace realm where they talk about orthodox topics and church father stuff while they're doing voice chats.
So is the community and the fellowship orthodoxy?
[02:12:00] Benjamin Balderson:
That is where you live though, Marcus.
[02:12:03] allen marcus:
Again, that's why super
[02:12:06] Benjamin Balderson:
a super protestant area.
[02:12:08] allen marcus:
Correct. So should I just go to the protestant church? Because that's the one in my community, or should I basically the way that gets to permanent. Yeah. Okay. So I should drive to California to go to an Orthodox church to become Orthodox.
[02:12:23] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. There's, like, three or four of them up in Eureka, and they definitely have events where other people can go to. They had one they had one the other, one time we were shopping at Winco, and they were having some big one, and it was kinda hilarious. They had some chick that sounded like Yoko Ono or something singing, like, kinda Latin music. I don't know. It was hard to tell. Like, it was like a cross at Yoko Ono and,
[02:12:51] allen marcus:
Fucking in Latin?
[02:12:55] Benjamin Balderson:
No. But she had a accent to where you couldn't really understand her English. So
[02:13:04] allen marcus:
So another question I have.
[02:13:06] Benjamin Balderson:
I wasn't sure how that coincided with, an accordion music and whatnot, coincided with,
[02:13:14] allen marcus:
orthodontist. Yeah. I don't know. Right. Again, you know, just quite just questions I have that would be great for conversation. I don't even know at this point if there's a debate happening because they're just like, you're you're asking dumb question. Well, I'm gonna ask dumb question because I don't know what a smart question is. So how how can we have a dialogue going back and forth to discover what a prompt might look like other than orthodoxy is the true version of Christianity, those who are not orthodox are just left for dead?
Is there a salvation gospel message to reach other people, or is it just like, we're in the boat, we're closing the door You're wrong. Join us, pussy.
[02:14:03] Steve :
These are just questions I have and I haven't had answers to. You're a stupid, dumb, gay retard. You should join our church, or else you're still a stupid, dumb, gay retard.
[02:14:14] Benjamin Balderson:
From the way I understand it, and and and I'm gonna say that this is because they're a bunch of kinda pussy little gamer boys like Andrew is where you can't open up a fucking olive jar. The the Orthodox church is drawing a bunch of men that want to be manly and fail miserably at it for the most part. Sure. And no women are going. Like, the the the Orthodox church is growing by leaps and bounds, but it's it's almost it's it's, like, 80% men that are joining it. And and like you said on this board, the reason they're all on this board, that's a video gamer's, platform Right. Where they video game and play video games with each other and shit. You're not being manly.
[02:15:02] allen marcus:
Sure. Like, I want to
[02:15:04] Benjamin Balderson:
man stuff. Work on your fucking car. Do some yard work. Fucking go out and chop a tree. I don't fucking know. Do something. Don't play video games. Cripe.
[02:15:18] allen marcus:
Just open questions, and you made a claim saying it's mostly men. That's an interesting claim. You could debate that. Is it for men only? Are are women allowed
[02:15:30] Benjamin Balderson:
in? I don't know. I think that's part that's that could also be part of why they call it ortho bros. It's only dudes. You don't see no chicks out preaching orthodoxy.
[02:15:41] Steve :
Well, they're they can't. They're the that's, like,
[02:15:45] Benjamin Balderson:
in a pretty strict tenant Well, they can't preach they can't preach, but they can talk about it. And the only chick I've ever seen talk about it is Andrew Wilson's wife. Right. And she does talk about it. So, obviously, it's allowed, but I I I think she is probably one of four people at that church that's a girl.
[02:16:06] Steve :
I mean, you're a girl. And she's married already? Mhmm.
[02:16:09] Benjamin Balderson:
Right. And she's already married. So, like, that one's off the table. Like, so it's just a bunch of dudes standing around holding each other's peckers talking about how they're the one they're the one true religion. Do Orthodox wives have to be on a table?
[02:16:28] allen marcus:
Is it an altar? Like, what is going because I've heard of, like, black gnostic masses where they have women behind veils on tables, and I'm like, you know, is that maybe I should just join the OTO at that point. I don't know if they have, like, a a fellows
[02:16:45] Steve :
section and, you know, a women's section. I don't know.
[02:16:51] allen marcus:
If you have felonies, are you allowed to be in also, bro? Do they do a background check?
[02:16:58] Benjamin Balderson:
I'm just wondering if you wanna be like a 60 year old pathetic person that nobody likes that can't even order a pizza.
[02:17:09] Steve :
I don't I don't understand the inside baseball on that. Yeah. It's, so so on Weaving Spiders,
[02:17:16] Benjamin Balderson:
webs, actually, I think it was on Weaving Spiders, the last episode of our last, Weaving Spiders Welcome. Yeah. The, there's a and this guy's been on History Channel the whole nine. They did whole whole shows about the guy. He was he was a bigwig in the OTO, and, Alan Greenfeld was his name. And so we do this show. Well, as soon as I start digging in, this guy don't know a fucking thing, which is exactly what I thought of these secret societies. These guys don't know anything. It's pathetic. They are basic, basic bitches. And then have so but the dude I'll give him, he took he took the hellfire, sat there and took it. I I flayed that dude, and then I just left. I was like, I can't do this no more. This is just gross.
Like, you're supposed and this guy was literally one of the heads of the OTO. And then after the show got off air, they're sitting around and the guy and Marcus and the guys are eating pizza, and the guy's like, wish I had pizza.
[02:18:22] allen marcus:
It's true story.
[02:18:23] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Can't order. I don't have enough money. I wish somebody would order me a pizza. Like, this dude was on history channel the whole night, and he can't order himself a pizza. And then he sat preach shit on a mainstream media.
[02:18:39] allen marcus:
On the the claim was he was doing sucks money magic.
[02:18:43] Benjamin Balderson:
So I got And then had a whole code. He has this whole cipher that is entirely on him. They did a whole series on it. What that was that called? Secret cipher of the.
[02:18:58] allen marcus:
Some cool stuff. I got I got a clip here. I can show you the video as proof. Just look at your face there. Just dealing with this. Steven, bring it up. Yeah. Just look at your face there. Look at, Greenfield's face. So you can you can see the wizard battle that happening in real time here. I was I was in my where's Waldo phase. I was finding my inner Waldo. Oh, fuck. So this is this is real. You can watch this. I obviously think what he's saying is intelligent. Batting his eyelashes a little bit trying to flirt with us.
[02:19:38] Steve :
You minks.
[02:19:40] allen marcus:
Yep.
[02:19:41] Benjamin Balderson:
Yep. Dude, and the worst part is, it it was hilarious. So I'm tearing this guy up. And then this this guy in the top center, it just loves Alan Greenfeld. Yeah. And fucking was fanboyed and everything. And this dude's like, oh, well, you're both alchemists. Let's talk about alchemy. And that dude got the biggest deer in the headlights look like.
[02:20:04] allen marcus:
Oh, fuck. Yes. The topic the topic is alchemy. Let's discuss the magical uses of alchemy. Yeah. And it became a psychology thing. I'm I'm just excuse me. We wanna talk about lab work.
[02:20:20] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. And he's a youngian alchemist. You mean psychology?
[02:20:24] allen marcus:
We're not sitting on a couch. We're not laying on a laissez faire. What what do you call it? Le's challenge? Le's what's the French word for the A chaise lounge. A chaise, Haggard, ortho bro lounge. Just laying it all out there. That's what we're doing. And he wanted to talk Jungian, Alchem Carl Jung. And I'm like, well, we've talked about Carl Jung before. Let's talk about the blackening phase of the alchemical process
[02:20:54] Steve :
in a lab setting. Why is it gotta be a racial thing? Well, because
[02:20:59] allen marcus:
we were getting to the races, the root races. Off to the off to the races? We're off to the root races. Yeah. Mhmm.
[02:21:07] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Barsky was special. Yeah. He was. And, yeah, he was impressed because this guy was on History Channel and everything else. So he was trying to trying to play mediator, but me and, this guy did not get along at all, and the guy was full of shit. And and he even said in that interview that he had so his book that got published Mhmm. The only reason that that piece of shit got published was because another dude that wanted to become, you know, level up or whatever in the OTO, he's told that guy, you're not gonna get your promotion unless my book gets published. Straight up. And so that dude who, whether he deserved the promotion or not, got the promotion, and this dude, whether the book was worth it, got it printed.
You know? And and this is how their shit works, which is what I've been saying for a long time that everybody else and this is especially in the truth or community. They act like the heads of these secret societies are like these have all these mystical secrets. I don't think they do. I think that they good old boy themselves out of knowing a fucking thing.
[02:22:20] allen marcus:
Yep. The book is called The Grail Within, and I wanted to ask specifically, you know, what does that mean? The Grail Within. That's a provocative title for a book. Is it about alchemy, or is there something mixed inside the cup? Black, red, white? What what's going on in that cup? And then we got silly stories.
[02:22:42] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. And then we Silly stories and silly songs.
[02:22:46] allen marcus:
Yeah.
[02:22:47] Steve :
He's a lot of talk to me.
[02:22:52] allen marcus:
So that was the that was the Shaggy Dog story roundabout way to discuss how after a live stream, certain guests are getting pizzas ordered and DoorDash's food delivered to them and others aren't. And then when they look at us with sad puppy dog, I used to say, I hung out with you guys. Can you order me some food?
[02:23:12] Benjamin Balderson:
And we're just dumbasses doing a podcast, and he's mister super famous, head of the head of the OTO.
[02:23:18] allen marcus:
Yeah. Well, I guess we should have put in the contract. No DoorDash, no Domino's, no pizza deliveries in the contract.
[02:23:28] Benjamin Balderson:
Dude, the guy the guy straight up was like a complete libtard man. Straight up a complete libtard. He wanted to bang on about how evil Russia was and how and this was at toward the beginning of the whole Ukraine conflict thing. And the dude's banging on about how evil, Putin is and blah blah, which I mean, number one, you're in a truth to the room, dude, and and and we're not new. So number one, we realized that the entire thing's a play. Now inside of that play, they've set Russia up to be the moral high ground over everybody else for for quite a few years now. And and so and this started with, like, Putin doing things like be getting rid of all the GMOs in the country, giving his people farms to go and try and, grow organic, kicking the kicking the, World Bank out of the country and, returning the monetary system to a nationalized system.
Doing all the things we dream of doing that a good moral leader would do. Somehow, Putin's doing it, and then and then The United States is getting set up as the the the one to take the fall. We're the dirty evil ones. Sure. And it's all just a play, but this guy's fully buying it. It's like and then saying Russia started a war when you can easily find fucking, video of of at the time, senator Biden, stating that f the entire treaty of upon the breakup of the USSR was that NATO never enters the Baltic States. And so reporters were asking, they're like, how do you know that Russia won't go to war with us? And he's like, listen. This treaty is solid. As long as NATO never enters the Baltic States, Russia will not do anything. And Russia did nothing to any of us, and all of a sudden, NATO's in the Baltic States and Russia's go and Russia's going to war. Well, we knew that was gonna happen. That's the way treaties work is is you don't do this thing, we won't do this thing, and we won't fight.
[02:25:47] allen marcus:
That's fair. I mean, none of that was on, the docket. We weren't planning to discuss geopolitics at all. No. That was him. Just got brought up. We wanted to talk about his appearance in the show Hellier. We wanna talk about goblins and caves and magic is the one that I'm talking about. Right? Yeah. Hellier does feature the, secret site for the euphonaut towards the end. He did show us the cool chair he sat on. He wore the same shirt that he was in the Hellier thing. So, I mean, again, had some interesting areas of knowledge and then volunteered to go out of his wheelhouse a little bit.
And, it was it was not a good not a good look, but we could have talked about the history view euphenauts, euphenology.
[02:26:38] Benjamin Balderson:
By knowledge, Marcus, means a bunch of dumb made up shit.
[02:26:43] allen marcus:
Mhmm. Knowledge of UFOs and the history of UFO conventions. So there's, American tradition of, like, Area 51. Okay. Well, what happened after Area 51? The idea of the flying saucer. That sort of thing became, like, a historical thing, and people would clip newspaper clippings, and they go to conventions and share their fanzines and newspaper clippings and talk, oh, what do you think the government's doing, and what do you think the, the secret aircraft is and anti gravitics and, like, the bell from Germany and, you know, project paperclip and all this sort of, like, x files nineteen nineties conspiracy stuff. That's interesting. We could talk to him about what was it like, you know, in the late eighties, early nineties. What was it like before the x files came out? What were people talking about in terms of little green men? And how do little green men connect to goblins, connect to abductions, connect to caves, and connect to Ordo Templi Orientis, Aleister Crowley, the entity known as l a m Lam, Jack Parsons, Rocketry, Sex Magic, Rockets, this type of thing.
[02:27:55] Benjamin Balderson:
It's always sex magic. Right? All them fucking cult all them groups and cults. It's always sex magic. There's there's there's no other magic, just sex magic.
[02:28:05] Steve :
It all comes down to, you know, cocks or balls.
[02:28:09] Benjamin Balderson:
Either way. Hey. Listen. Listen. Listen. The the spirit told me I'm supposed to bang your old lady. Right? I don't wanna I don't wanna. It's not me. Don't why are you looking at me like that? Why why are you looking at me like that? Doggy.
[02:28:26] Steve :
Mhmm. How far we go back? You know I don't wanna do this. Yeah. But God said that, you know, Shirley's gotta come through about seven 07:30.
[02:28:38] allen marcus:
The disembodied voice doesn't have a body,
[02:28:42] Steve :
but I have a body. And you're God also said that I should go out and buy some lingerie for her. That she should be wearing it when she comes through. That helps. Why are you even questioning
[02:28:57] Benjamin Balderson:
shit. Why are you even acting like I would make something like this? So on the tablets that only I can read.
[02:29:04] Steve :
Yeah.
[02:29:06] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. What? Do I need, like, a magic hat with some stones in the bottom before you believe me? I
[02:29:12] Steve :
because as a matter of fact, I was out communing with God as I do, and I, you know, was received a gift
[02:29:22] allen marcus:
from God. It's a bedazzled hat. From God? Did God gift you a bedazzled hat?
[02:29:29] Steve :
As as a matter of fact, yes. But only your wife can see it. So you have to send her by, and she'll let you know.
[02:29:39] allen marcus:
I understand. Okay.
[02:29:41] Benjamin Balderson:
It's not on me.
[02:29:43] Unknown:
Right.
[02:29:46] Benjamin Balderson:
I didn't make the rules. I'm just following them like you are. Yeah. Yeah.
[02:29:52] allen marcus:
Do you need to know any, like, psych cyclical information, any calendrics here? Do we need to compare cycles and calendars and moons and menstruations and things, or are you just ready whenever? I mean, is there a magical timing involved?
[02:30:07] Benjamin Balderson:
You'd have to ask the spirits.
[02:30:09] allen marcus:
Well, I mean, the the grail within, I wanna understand that, magical working a little bit better.
[02:30:16] Benjamin Balderson:
I I don't imagine that Alan Greenfeld is gonna come on deliberating dog faced dudes.
[02:30:22] allen marcus:
He might.
[02:30:24] Benjamin Balderson:
He might. I would invited. The dude sat there while I made him look like a complete jackass, and he took it and then hung out after. I didn't hang out after. Dresser
[02:30:35] allen marcus:
sometimes. He plays adjuster sometimes. He's kind of a Look at this cat with funny uncle.
[02:30:41] Benjamin Balderson:
This cat has got the longest ear hair ever. I mean, he looks like Scar from the from the Lion King. That's why I call him Scar.
[02:30:50] allen marcus:
Ear hair.
[02:30:52] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Like, old man, ear hair. Like like So could you just,
[02:30:56] allen marcus:
like, blow a little a stream of air over those ear hairs and see what happens?
[02:31:03] Benjamin Balderson:
He he leaned into it. He's like, oh,
[02:31:06] allen marcus:
I like the warm air. Some some cats will do, like, the they'll shake their head real Yeah. Real rough.
[02:31:16] Benjamin Balderson:
Okay. My dogs get so mad when you do that. And then the the worst thing you could ever do, and I've noticed this with all pit bulls, is is do a raspberry on their stomach. Oh, fuck. Oh, they will lose their shit. Angry. Angry. Christy used to do that to Debbie. Oh, man. Oh, she would get up and she'd look at Christy just like, and then she go, woah. Like, don't do that shit. Like, she was just mad. But all of Scotty, our our mom and dog now, she will run away and go hide. And if you find her, she's just sitting there shaking. Like, like, just crazy reactions to raspberries.
[02:32:05] Steve :
That's wild. Raspberries. Who knew?
[02:32:08] Benjamin Balderson:
Look at this weird shit. So this cat, see how it has all the ears, but look at it. He has no whiskers, basically. Mhmm. Because Rhea sits and chews the whiskers off all the other animals.
[02:32:18] Steve :
Okay.
[02:32:20] Benjamin Balderson:
And they let her do it.
[02:32:22] Steve :
Like, okay. Go ahead. Give me a trim. She's like, I'm the only one that gets extra antennae.
[02:32:28] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Yeah. She choose the other dogs too. She sits and chews the whiskers off all the other animals.
[02:32:35] allen marcus:
We're a no whisker trim podcast.
[02:32:38] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Yeah. We we don't have that issue.
[02:32:41] allen marcus:
No trim. Let it grow. All natural.
[02:32:45] Benjamin Balderson:
What you want? What you what you what you want? What you want?
[02:32:52] allen marcus:
Chat figure out the, the racism issue. Get that solved yet. Check-in with the cat chat.
[02:33:02] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Pitbulls are the best. It's true. They're the best. They're just big babies. I got a I got a most excellent video, like, a week ago of Tyr and this little tiny, tiny kitten. He's just cleaning it up, and the kitten just hanging out with him. They all loved here. He's this giant meathead of a pit bull, and freaking the kittens love him.
[02:33:30] allen marcus:
Oh, we got some, chatters talking about their pets. They like the feetsies and the kittens. Could you put bull faces?
[02:33:46] Benjamin Balderson:
Yes. He might come on. He had the balls to stay through the through the fire. He might. That guy's not I'll give him that. He's got more nuts than ortho bros.
[02:34:00] allen marcus:
He is a bishop.
[02:34:02] Benjamin Balderson:
And the o they have religious names in the OTO?
[02:34:06] allen marcus:
Bishop.
[02:34:07] Benjamin Balderson:
High star.
[02:34:08] allen marcus:
Yep.
[02:34:09] Benjamin Balderson:
I don't need to be the Don't do.
[02:34:16] Steve :
What's his cat? I I'd like to bring him bring him back.
[02:34:20] Benjamin Balderson:
Angel. It's one eyed.
[02:34:25] Steve :
Totally malnourished. Only you can save this kitten.
[02:34:29] Benjamin Balderson:
K. For the for the cost of one Starbucks coffee a day, you could you could save this cat Get an eye dropper. For being for being used as a prop by me. Oh, some sad stuff makes you feel bad.
[02:34:51] allen marcus:
So do we have some, brick stock? That's Brazil, Russia, India, and China. One more time? Sorry. Is it Brazil, Russia, India, and China in the BRICS group? I I'd like to ask Alan Alan Greenfield to join us in talking about financial systems in Russia. And and and how UFOs are affecting the quantum
[02:35:26] Benjamin Balderson:
currencies that are unruly Well, my my guess is is that he would shit all over the the ruble, which is not valued particularly well right now, but Russia was very well aware that that was gonna happen when they paid off the World Bank. But I'm guessing that's the route he's gonna take is that Russia's basically or rubles basically the same as a peso or something.
[02:35:51] Steve :
I mean, it it's there's a fuck ton of American money that flows in there, though, and still flows around there. And, like, the their oligarchy really didn't take too big of a hit. Like, they got some money confiscated that they had they hadn't yanked out of, you know, US banks or some, you know, more US government friendly spots in The Caymans or something like that, but they never talked about the fucking, Isle Of Isle Of White money. They never talked about fucking places like in China that they had it parked or in Macau Macau and fucking you know? You ain't touching nothing in China. Yeah. Like, the the it's it's not like the Russians were dumb enough to park all of their money in western banks, you know, At the same or, you know, European banks. At the same time, they had stuff there for sure because that's confiscated. They can gave it to fucking Ukraine, turned it into fucking Zelensky coke.
[02:37:03] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah.
[02:37:04] Steve :
And he's like, oh, they won't be pissed. You know, confiscated a few yacht and shit like that.
[02:37:12] Benjamin Balderson:
Made a show. Made a show. We pretend like we're the biggest economy, but the Western world is small compared to the Indian Indian world and the the Chinese world. Mhmm.
[02:37:26] Steve :
And yeah. Yeah. No. The I mean, all of the BRICS nations have, like, a digital currency program going, and it's all gonna be processed on the back end as a CBDC if it's not outright issued as one. And then Trump is, you know, just signed the genius act, which is anything but. And, it's the the pathway to stable coin, which will get processed on the back end as a CBDC.
[02:38:00] Benjamin Balderson:
See, this is why this is why these geniuses like Rob nor won't debate Steve. Gotta add him to the list of debate skippers.
[02:38:09] Steve :
And then and, yeah, Derek Bros was on AM wake up this morning. He just, he had published an excellent article, through TLav, this morning about how Mexico is going full biometric ID, and that's going to include for use of cell phone. Mhmm. All kinds of shit. Internet access. Oh, you wanna learn anything? Mexico, Derek said, is still, like, 40 something percent rule. Like like, rule. Rule. You know? They're just not gonna fucking go for it. Right. They're not. And the cartels rely on
[02:39:02] Benjamin Balderson:
degrees of energy. Cartel got way too much influence down there, and they rely on that cash monies.
[02:39:08] Steve :
Yeah. Not just cash money, but the anonymity that, like because you could Derek was saying you can walk into any fucking corner store and buy a SIM card and throw it in a phone, and now you have, you know, Internet access. You had a phone. And so there's people that have, like, SIM cards stacked and shit, but if you make them scan a fucking eyeball or give a fingerprint or whatever Now it's tied to you. Now now it's definitely tied to you. That, yeah, that totally kills burner phones, don't it? Mhmm.
[02:39:41] Benjamin Balderson:
I mean, we don't do the SIM card thing in America, but Mhmm. You know, back in the day before cannabis was legal, you fucking basically once a week went in and got a Walmart phone at the end of the week to chuck that fucking thing. Right.
[02:39:55] Steve :
Right. Like, after I know you're tracking the TracFone, but it takes you twenty one days to get a fucking turnaround on a fucking warrant for this particular number even if you know it's me. So by the time you fucking get on this number, I'm a have a new one, bitch. But I don't give
[02:40:16] allen marcus:
I just wanted a Rumble account to chat with, and I need a burner phone number to have a Rumble account just to say naughty words in a Rumble chat. Yeah. And then if Rumble's like Hey, Rumble chat. No more. No more. Then I gotta go get another phone number to make a new Rumble account.
[02:40:33] Benjamin Balderson:
Mhmm. We're sorry. Streamyard doesn't stream Rumble. We don't get to see your comments. I as they love it. Do. The
[02:40:40] allen marcus:
Rumble has the most best behaved chatters. I don't, apparently.
[02:40:44] Steve :
I don't All you have to do are you on a phone?
[02:40:49] Benjamin Balderson:
No. On my computer, and it's only on dog face dudes. When we do this show, any other fucking show I go on, I can see the chat on the side. On this one specifically, the only thing available to me is studio chat three year. Yeah. Yeah. You want me to take a picture of it? I mean,
[02:41:08] Steve :
sure. Because I already put a bunch of script. Well, I get I think the I don't think the chat was up, but
[02:41:15] Benjamin Balderson:
yeah. Yeah. Because I've never even seen this screen before it started doing doing this to me on the show. Mhmm. And it's only on our show that this that this happens. And you could see that there's not even a spot for me to open up the the, regular chat. Alright. So we're not ignoring Weird. Right? It's just we have to Like, even when I guess on, like, Sarah Tomato show or any other show like that, I can see the whole chat.
[02:41:52] allen marcus:
I've never heard goat whore play. Goat horse? Yeah. Do they have a music video? So check for that. There's a lot of new music. Yeah. Yeah. Try to keep a list of new bands to listen to. All the musicians I love so much keep, dying, so I have to find living musicians to listen to.
[02:42:28] Steve :
Got you.
[02:42:29] Unknown:
Mhmm.
[02:42:33] Benjamin Balderson:
You wanna go yell at Bella, please?
[02:42:38] allen marcus:
There's some ladies called the wet leg.
[02:42:41] Benjamin Balderson:
Kittens' ears are cute. You're gonna make you're gonna dance dance monkey dance.
[02:42:45] allen marcus:
Right? Right? Right? Right? Now comedian of the black. Oh, it's Mexican metal? Cupacabra metal.
[02:42:59] Benjamin Balderson:
Isn't that supposed to be Lucifer's sigil above its head?
[02:43:05] allen marcus:
That appears to be a haunting curse. I like that. You know, I'm gonna start a new ministry to metal singers where I I give them Rico loves, and I teach them how to do water dances on their throats. Oh. Because I want I want them to have a long and prosperous career, but I I worry about some of these young singers really straining their Cookie Monster vocals.
[02:43:39] Benjamin Balderson:
Right. There's a way to do it. I can't believe nobody's gotten a hold of the recall of people yet for you. Right? But, man, you know,
[02:43:48] allen marcus:
it's, it's getting closer and closer. There's a one song I quite like here. Let me see if I load it. Bubba, quit chasing the other animals. They don't like it. Just keep filling up notebooks filled with information here. Oh. Just sing just sing a song. Let's see.
[02:44:11] Benjamin Balderson:
Get out of your bummers.
[02:44:14] Unknown:
Are you bummers?
[02:44:17] allen marcus:
Did you hear this one?
[02:44:29] Steve :
She's saying Sounds like a anime soundtrack.
[02:44:32] allen marcus:
It's you know, I'm looking for new gothic music that's my gothic person. Real dark. A lot of dark you got to be.
[02:44:41] Benjamin Balderson:
This is saintly fire. Breast smells like poop. Yeah.
[02:44:46] allen marcus:
I like I like her song. It's very catchy. That was are trying to steal my blood on a Saturday night. Maybe Those are called girls, Marcus. They're called girls. Maybe we could get a Tuesday night version of the song instead. Now vampires are trying to steal my blood on a Tuesday night.
[02:45:12] Benjamin Balderson:
Oh, is that by typo negative?
[02:45:15] Steve :
Mhmm.
[02:45:18] allen marcus:
Is it my girlfriend's girlfriend? Now now we're back on topic of the header heterofatalism. What would Peter Steele say about heterofatalist women?
[02:45:35] Benjamin Balderson:
I don't think that that's a problem. I think that, Not for Peter Thiel at any rate. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely not for Peter Thiel. It's not. You you don't like It's not for Peter Steele either. Okay. But all lesbians want is a strong man and and even Cheney, if she would have showed up Cheney, she says that flat out. She says most lesbians are just looking for somebody strong, and the men are so damn weak that that a lesbian woman half the time is the strongest person around. It's like if there's an actual strong man around, they change their mind right quick.
[02:46:10] Steve :
I mean, if the domestic violent rates in, you know, lesbian marriages have anything to say about that. They they definitely found the strong man in the relationship.
[02:46:23] allen marcus:
Good. It's awful. It was it was such short notice to find anyone from the heterofatalism camp to to explain and defend their position, but I have a quote here that Jojo Siwa. That's right. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Jojo Siwa, her her husband said something about the marriage. She calls his testicles Timmy and Jimmy. That
[02:46:48] Benjamin Balderson:
was has I Do you have names for my testicles? No. I do not. Oh, that's good. If if you were gonna, Timmy and Jimmy would not be acceptable. They would have to be something better, like like Magnus and and, you know, something like that.
[02:47:05] allen marcus:
So it's all about this the the realness of the phallus. So, lots of words here. It says, it seems that the heterofatalism that was all the rage a few years ago and the rebranded political lesbianism of the four b movement that's getting popular today are two sides of the same reified phallic coin. Like turfism, capital t e r f,
[02:47:34] Benjamin Balderson:
there's a bit of overlap. Both uphold the fantasy of the Those are the ones that those are the ones that are, like, feminist, but also don't like trannies.
[02:47:43] Steve :
Mhmm.
[02:47:44] allen marcus:
Yeah. Trans exclusionary radical feminism.
[02:47:48] Steve :
The the JK Rowling's,
[02:47:50] Benjamin Balderson:
if you will. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
[02:47:53] allen marcus:
So they both uphold the fantasy of the realness of the foulest that patriarchy isn't a social construction, but arises from some essentially dominating and powerful substance that lives in the balls and can't be stopped.
[02:48:09] Benjamin Balderson:
It's called testosterone. Yeah. It's not a magical substance. It's called testosterone.
[02:48:16] allen marcus:
It's a real substance?
[02:48:18] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah.
[02:48:20] allen marcus:
And it's stored in the balls?
[02:48:22] Benjamin Balderson:
And it is a mad beast. I understand that it's a lot of, a lot of weight is put on the hormonal things that women have to deal with, but testosterone is a mad beast and nobody ever wants to talk about that. Like, it takes you a lot of years to learn to control that shit.
[02:48:44] allen marcus:
Well, that's part of the, quote that says men's struggle to communicate in romantic relationships is widespread enough to have earned a psychological designation. They call this normative male Alexith Smith.
[02:49:00] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Oh, the condition being unable to work. Too many dudes are fucking pussified, and that's all they do is talk. That's why they that's why the girls aren't aren't freaking they're turning lesbian because they don't wanna be they don't get away from my keyboard, Scar. I'm like, all of you fuckers do this shit. They don't want a dude to sit there and do all that shit that they said that they want. Grabs him by the fucking hips, picks him up in the air, pins him up against the wall, and just goes. Is that part of the way? That other shit. They don't want it to be snoozed.
[02:49:36] allen marcus:
There's a female demand, male withdraw pattern she notes that women approach the man to discuss something and the man removes himself from the room.
[02:49:47] Benjamin Balderson:
Well, it depends on what they wanna discuss, I suppose.
[02:49:50] allen marcus:
The relationship. Yeah. Then then you're probably gonna There's a phase in every relationship where the relationship needs to be defined. And for better or worse, once you begin to define a relationship No. Some people leave and some people stay. And if both people leave, then there's no one in the room. If one person leaves and it's not a relationship If she wants to have Nancy talk, she has girlfriends for that. Nancy talk.
[02:50:23] Benjamin Balderson:
Got it. What if she does that? Best friend when she wants to do her Nancy talk, she does that with her best friend. Mhmm.
[02:50:32] allen marcus:
So the biggest criticism of this article, which was published in the New Yorker Weekly, I think, some New York magazine. A woman living in a city, dating all kinds of men, divorced her husband, fell in love with a guy who was already married, had all these confusing feelings about her feelings, and then decides that it would just be easier if she was attracted to women only. Because she's obviously been smart this whole time.
[02:51:00] Benjamin Balderson:
Obviously, you should take advice from this fucking hooker.
[02:51:04] allen marcus:
Yes. That was that was the comment stating that the author of the article did not disclose her own shortcomings.
[02:51:12] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Severe shortcomings. You fucking left your husband. You fucking because we can be pretty sure you're the one who left because you were unhappy. You were unfulfilled. And then fucking even though it was a perfectly good relationship because you got no fucking loyalty, and you didn't care about anybody else's loyalty either because then you went and broke another home up. Definitely shouldn't be taking any advice from you.
[02:51:40] allen marcus:
And her her radical honesty leads her to write this article describing how she has always seek fulfillment in a male figure, and she absolutely hates this quality about herself.
[02:51:56] Benjamin Balderson:
That's called biological drive. Guess what, Dom Con? We also seek fulfillment in women. It's a weird thing. We find mutual fulfillment in each other. That's the whole benefit to this deal, dummy. Mhmm.
[02:52:20] Steve :
Yeah.
[02:52:21] allen marcus:
Yep. So that was the big that was the big keyword this week. Last week, it was Labooboo dolls. This week, it's hetero what was the word? Formative. Had to listen to some crazy broad talk about Labooboo Pazuzu, no squads.
[02:52:36] Benjamin Balderson:
And and that was a lot of times when talking about how how she'd rather be a lesbian, but she's not attracted to women because she's can't make worth a shit decisions or be worth a shit as a person. Because, obviously, you're not worth a shit. You rolled out on your husband and then broke up another relationship. You're not a good person. What kind of dudes do you expect to attract? Like, a good solid dude that's ready to build a future and a relay a future with a partner. You're failing that interview, lady. Your job history sucks.
[02:53:11] allen marcus:
I thought she was a bad person because she's a New Yorker, and all New Yorkers are bad people. Also fair.
[02:53:18] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Valid. Valid.
[02:53:23] allen marcus:
Minneapolis, Saint Paul, Chicago. Any people who live in urban areas?
[02:53:28] Benjamin Balderson:
Terrible places. You can't even go into the nursing field. That's some weird shit. They're all they but the but the thing is is I think you're white, Ryan, so I think you're safe.
[02:53:41] allen marcus:
White male nurses?
[02:53:42] Benjamin Balderson:
No. The the the the horrifying pill popping complete narcissistic people that seem to flood the nursing field. They don't usually date white guys, so I don't I think you'd be alright.
[02:54:04] Steve :
Yeah. I know. Man. We have mostly, like, Filipinos and Mexicans and Guatemalans as nurses down here. Do women date bishops? Nothing. They don't like pop bills or you know, but most of them are actually pretty chill.
[02:54:22] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Not not the pretty neat. Not the ones, like, up in the Midwest and all them other places where it's all white girls doing it. Right. And and I and and and love love sees no color, but they don't date white guys. I promise you that. Yeah. So would you guys be really upset with me if I release this podcast under the branding Nancy Talk? Nancy Talk? Well, I don't know. Is it gonna be original content, Marcus? Right. I I will making content. So I I will make good original NancyTalk content.
[02:54:59] allen marcus:
Yeah. We will we will make original NancyTalk episodes. For Nancy Boys and Nancy Campbell.
[02:55:07] Benjamin Balderson:
Mike Myers. Sprockets. We we got Sprockets.
[02:55:12] allen marcus:
The the German talk. My monkey. Yeah.
[02:55:22] Steve :
Yeah. You know that last point, don't you? In hindsight, that was pretty creepy because he'd always be like, I'm as happy as a little girl. Yeah. And he'd like Mhmm. You know, poke nips out. Like, buddy. Buddy.
[02:55:36] allen marcus:
So the the theme of the the male nipple continues. Is it a useful thing or a useless thing? Why did God give me little nipples?
[02:55:50] Benjamin Balderson:
One would presume little nipples. One would presume that before that differentiation takes place, the sex differentiation that that, portion is already to some degree developed.
[02:56:04] Steve :
Because God didn't want you to look like a Ken
[02:56:07] Benjamin Balderson:
doll. Yeah.
[02:56:09] allen marcus:
God gave me nipples to be twisted.
[02:56:12] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. He he knew that the timid grappler would have nothing to grapple if you had no nipples. It's a good lord. Little kinky. Yeah. Well, you know, I've heard Fred you know, Crowley says that. He says that. They wanna see some weird shit. I mean
[02:56:32] allen marcus:
Crowley was just telling the truth, and they called him the wickedest man ever. Do we wanna have a Alastair Crowley debate? Because I've tried. God knows I've tried to get Thelemites to talk to us.
[02:56:48] Benjamin Balderson:
And and it's head at your shoulder level, Ryan.
[02:56:54] allen marcus:
Shoulder level head?
[02:56:57] Benjamin Balderson:
This is the talking about head and strippers and shoulders. I I don't know. He's he's very confused about the way that works. Off topic for Nancy talk. Well, there's no sex in the champagne room. We all know that. No Actually, there is cork's getting popped?
[02:57:18] allen marcus:
Papa cork? Papa Smurf? Is there a new Smurf movie? I saw Jason Momoa's in a new movie. He's the chief, not the chief. The chief of a Hawaiian is he still working? He's got feathers on. It's on Apple plus.
[02:57:38] Benjamin Balderson:
Do I have to be the TV guide? Are they even doing trying to do movies in movie theaters anymore?
[02:57:45] allen marcus:
Tron three Ares. Yes. In theaters, I think, September. No spoilers, please. I haven't seen f one yet.
[02:57:55] Steve :
I mean, they just did that whole Superman movie thing. It crushed, like, a weekend or two ago. Dude, they had Did it? Superman, Standys, and the Hardys.
[02:58:04] allen marcus:
They were advertising that thing everywhere over fourth of July weekend, America, Americana, red, white, and blue. America. Superstar, Superman.
[02:58:13] Benjamin Balderson:
Yep. That's gotta be the first time a Superman movie is particularly crushed. I mean, the Henry Cavill Supermans did well, but the original Supermans, they did really poorly.
[02:58:24] allen marcus:
Mhmm. I imagine there's an audience that had never seen Superman before, so they went and saw it for the first time.
[02:58:32] Steve :
Right. They forgot how really, really, really bad Christopher Reeve was.
[02:58:39] allen marcus:
I I oh, man. Now I have to bring out my prepared statement on the Jewishness question of superheroes. And if Christians should watch Jewish superheroes stories. You have a prepared statement for this. Nice. Nice. But I've got, like, paperwork everywhere. So it's I mean, it's prepared, but it's not, like, prepared prepared. You know what I'm saying? His props are in order. His paperwork, not so much. No. I need more secretaries.
[02:59:07] Benjamin Balderson:
I was actually weirdly watching a clip of that of fucking that or of the was it Superman two where he fights Zod? And, yeah, the special effects from them were so bad. So bad they had the three bad guys flying, and Lois Lane was on the back of the one, and they, you know, she, like, slipped off to the side. Like like, she was gonna fall or something, and it was so bad looking. It looked good when we were kids, though.
[02:59:37] allen marcus:
Yeah. I have a a few articles here to bring up. My favorite is the 1992 Batman movie and the Jewish question because the, was the penguin character had a really prominent
[02:59:52] Steve :
Is that DeVito? Yeah. That was DeVito. DeVito. I gotta I gotta hop off those. And to prevent the rumble stream from going, like, eight hours or whatever because, you know Cut. Fuck, dude. I'm I'm falling asleep. I'm stunned. I'm gonna, a good night for me. Gonna kill Well, I mean, you you guys go as long as you want or whatever. But I've gone as long as I want. If I say anymore, I'm gonna get myself in real deep trouble. Okay. Okay.
[03:00:16] allen marcus:
You want me to talk about Jewish superheroes for another hour? Just short of We won't there won't we won't have any channels
[03:00:24] Steve :
at all anymore if I I mean, there's the Hebrew hammer. Did you ever see that movie?
[03:00:30] allen marcus:
I don't have it on VHS.
[03:00:33] Steve :
He definitely doesn't sound like something I'd watch. He helps people reclaim their Jewishness by giving them copies of Yentl and Fiddler on the Roof and something else. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. I I think I rented it from Netflix. And It was a a Comedy Central production. It's like Adam Goldberg or somebody like that is the star of it. Oh, dude. It is.
[03:00:55] allen marcus:
I'm a big Adam Goldberg fan. I love that. That. Tire of
[03:00:59] Steve :
bad. But it like, as a lark Mhmm. Get it worth watching the one time just so you can be like, I can't fucking believe they actually made this.
[03:01:12] allen marcus:
Those are the type of movies I watch. Piece of shit.
[03:01:16] Steve :
What the fuck? Really? Okay. I've just Alright. You said it's not anti Semitic when you say it. You know? Like, dang. Have you seen a Neil Breen film yet?
[03:01:30] Benjamin Balderson:
I mean, you gotta admit it fits. Like like, every rap song ever has the n word in it, like, 837 times, but if you say it, it's racist. I agree. So I mean, that it does fit the motif.
[03:01:42] Steve :
Mhmm. Here. Before I get out of here, let's see if there's a trailer for it. So, is it fifty years of Jaws?
[03:01:50] allen marcus:
Steven Spielberg? Thank you for your service. George Lucas, don't know his early history. Star Wars guy. So these are topics we can bring up next Tuesday.
[03:02:07] Benjamin Balderson:
We'll try and have a guest next Tuesday. I'll try and get on that. Can we get a Jewish superhero? I I don't believe I have access to any of those. We got Rose seven seven seven.
[03:02:20] allen marcus:
She is a hero. She is super. I did wanna talk to people who rode motorcycles.
[03:02:32] Benjamin Balderson:
That's good background music too. I can tell that that's
[03:02:42] allen marcus:
The West Bank Palms are gated.
[03:02:48] Benjamin Balderson:
Gotta have the stars of David's and everything else on there. Yeah. Too much of a comet clock. Oh, god. Kilometers. Oh, god. It didn't have a little picture of old Netanyahu's
[03:03:02] allen marcus:
face up there. I thought there'd be more olive trees.
[03:03:06] Steve :
Oh, come on. There's gotta be something better. Here we go. Coming soon to DVD from Comedy Central.
[03:03:14] allen marcus:
When there's danger on the streets and evil is everywhere, the only solution
[03:03:21] Benjamin Balderson:
is And Mario got evil.
[03:03:25] allen marcus:
Circumcised. That's a sexed alien to all the chicks. Adam Goldberg is. Adam Goldberg is. Adam Goldberg. The Hebrew hammer. The Hebrew hammer. Yes.
[03:03:37] Unknown:
Santa's been rubbed out by his evil son, Damien. Uh-oh. I'm Santa now. It's Christmas time in July. Four hours.
[03:03:45] allen marcus:
Hours.
[03:03:46] Steve :
Monica will be no
[03:03:49] Unknown:
more.
[03:03:49] Benjamin Balderson:
We have to put into place an agent. The Deep Blue Hammer confirmation test initiated.
[03:03:57] Steve :
Who that's called? Circumcision
[03:03:59] Benjamin Balderson:
confirmed.
[03:04:03] allen marcus:
He's a master of disguise. You're the goy who stole Hanukkah. The Hebrew hammer.
[03:04:09] Unknown:
He's a ladies' man. I want you to talk dirty to me.
[03:04:13] allen marcus:
I I wanna have lots of children by you. I wanna get a good paying, stable job. Yeah. I want for our children to go to private schools. Private schools. Keep going.
[03:04:26] Benjamin Balderson:
Excuse me, children. He plans on personally canceling Christmas.
[03:04:32] Unknown:
Attention Kmart shoppers. There are Jews in Aisle 12. They're all Jews.
[03:04:38] Benjamin Balderson:
And they pulled him the Hebrew ham up.
[03:04:41] Unknown:
Oh, kiss me, you Semitic stallion.
[03:04:44] allen marcus:
Mario The Semitic stallion.
[03:04:46] Benjamin Balderson:
And what was Mario Vamp Eagles? Tied in. Yep. You don't have to hold on. It was either that or Macy Gray.
[03:04:52] Steve :
Oh, yeah.
[03:04:54] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. I knew that. And Andy Dick. Someone's gonna get everything they want for Christmas. This is your next.
[03:05:00] Steve :
The Hebrew hammer, coming soon to DVD. And don't you worry, we're including plenty of DVD extras. I rented those extras. Bold, big nose, difficult brother.
[03:05:14] Benjamin Balderson:
I have to watch that.
[03:05:17] allen marcus:
We need to And with that Good night, YouTubes.
[03:05:24] Steve :
Take care, everybody. We'll see you next week.
That would be that. And we're live, and I'm Steve Poikkanen. Great job, fellas. Great job. He doesn't know how to go clockwise, apparently. I don't know. He wants us to go counterclock. Bang of see, we had this planned. We had this planned, and I said, I don't wanna go first right before this whole thing started. And you know what? I sucked it up, and I went first, and this is what I get for doing that. Way to go. Way to go. No. It's okay, dude. Trying to make us go into a reverse rotation, and everybody knows that fucks y'all up. We're all unique to scuffed intros. We are. We are.
[00:00:37] allen marcus:
Is it d o d s o? I'm alan marcus dot com.
[00:00:43] Benjamin Balderson:
And I am Benjamin Balderson. No matter what the YouTube people wanna think, I am the real me, the only me.
[00:00:52] Steve :
Yeah. Can confirm.
[00:00:54] Benjamin Balderson:
You win.
[00:00:59] Steve :
Who are you guys? Where are you, dude? You're metal, dude. Dude,
[00:01:05] Unknown:
deliberately. Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude
[00:01:31] Steve :
One minute, dude. Nine, thirty, eight,
[00:01:35] Unknown:
seven, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, 30, 30, thirty, thirty, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, 30, thirty, thirty
[00:01:46] Benjamin Balderson:
Three, two, one, fight.
[00:01:51] Steve :
What are you guys? We're you, dude. Wow. They can't all be zingers.
[00:02:03] allen marcus:
Crock a cold one if you got one. It is just sweltering sweltering here.
[00:02:11] Benjamin Balderson:
Sweltering in Minnesota.
[00:02:13] Steve :
Yeah. It does that.
[00:02:14] allen marcus:
Oh, it's humid. It is so humid.
[00:02:18] Benjamin Balderson:
Are the mosquitoes looking like hummingbirds this year then?
[00:02:21] allen marcus:
The mosquitoes are eating the hummingbirds alive.
[00:02:28] Benjamin Balderson:
That's a bad year.
[00:02:30] Steve :
I did. The the only I I probably said this before, man, but it may have been a minute. The only, like, goodwill find that I ever took on the road with me when I was doing Renaissance festivals that I got in Shakopee, Minnesota was a coffee cup. Mhmm. And it had a picture of a mosquito on it, and it said Minnesota state bird. Yeah. It's like that's accurate as
[00:02:58] Benjamin Balderson:
fuck. Accurate. Yeah. I got some flea market finds everybody might enjoy. Oh. This one's one of my favorites right here.
[00:03:08] allen marcus:
All madams will keep their girls out the streets after dark. If they know what's good for them. No exceptions.
[00:03:16] Benjamin Balderson:
No exceptions. Yeah. We Christy and I found these in San Francisco at a a paper place or bookstore or something that was closing down. This is a clean and moral establishment. Don't don't be fucking around here. This is why the this is part of why the ortho bros don't wanna come play with us because scoundrels will be dealt with severely.
[00:03:39] Steve :
You know, the place of business that had that on the wall on the inside behind the bar was replacing the window at least once, if not three times a month.
[00:03:51] Benjamin Balderson:
Absolutely. Absolutely. Like like, if you remember Roadhouse, the bar scene where the they had to have the chicken wire in front of the band, and they're sitting there playing That was the Blues Brothers. But yeah.
[00:04:03] Steve :
Yeah. Yeah. Broken Yeah. That was Bob's Country Bunker. Yeah. Yeah. Both kinds of music, Ben, country and western.
[00:04:11] Benjamin Balderson:
Yes. Yes. So they had to sing Rawhide. I remember. Rawhide. This is just good to have around. I don't know why our country went sideways with this where we now glorify theatricals, but we do not rent rooms to theatricals. They are nothing but problems. They're gonna they're gonna leave leave behind license and stuff.
[00:04:36] Steve :
That is correct. That is correct.
[00:04:39] Benjamin Balderson:
This one's Steve and my new favorite place, the Miner's Bathhouse. You you get a free beer with a bath.
[00:04:46] allen marcus:
Free beer. Do you get a ice cube in the bathtub?
[00:04:50] Benjamin Balderson:
That's correct. You know, it it it doesn't say that, but I suppose you can't
[00:04:57] allen marcus:
ball. Yeah. The the chilled ball effect is a great way to cool down. Just put them on a slab of ice.
[00:05:06] Benjamin Balderson:
It is. It is. And then and you wanna do that in the evening because then then all the holes inside. So you'd you know, you don't wanna do that when they're outside running around. You wanna keep them out in the daylight like vampires.
[00:05:26] allen marcus:
I'm trying to expose some tweets to the daylight. I saw you guys are tweeting a little bit on Saturday.
[00:05:33] Benjamin Balderson:
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Had a nice little had a nice little, nice little scrap with Jim Bob. I did.
[00:05:41] allen marcus:
Trying to find the, Chase Haggard tweets. Those are fun. If I can find those. He had a prayer to the ortho bros. He wanted to know the definition of ortho bro, and why is it a pejorative, meaning, like, an insult.
[00:06:00] Benjamin Balderson:
Well, I mean, it would you know, the the the the definition isn't necessarily the. You know, ortho bro, it's pretty easy as anything else. Any group that's primarily men, they people call them bros, and they're orthodox. Now where it starts taking on the, majority of it starts sounding slush is where people don't particularly like the ortho bros, where they're kind of an obnoxious group. Pretty pushy, act like they know everything, and they they like to do a whole lot of what what I would call legalese, where they take the heart of the matter and they remove it, and so they can use all their little word games so they can actually ignore the point.
A good example of that kind of thing is is you take, like, the school zone violation for drugs. Absolutely. Nobody wants people selling drugs to little kids at schools. It's crazy. And so we passed a law for that. That would that said, anybody caught doing that has to serve an extra sentence above and beyond just being a dealer. You also get a violation of being in this school zone, which is consecutive ten years after the original sentence, which consecutive means that you have to get paroled on that first sentence before you can even start serving the second sentence. A lot of times, most things are ran concurrently, meaning that if you have, like, three, five year sentences and a ten year sentence, basically, you look at the ten year sentence and whatever time you would had to serve on that, that's what you're gonna do, and those other ones get counted in at the same time.
With the school zone violation, they made that specifically consecutive. So what the state's attorneys and district attorneys and whatnot have done with that is they've used that as a club for anybody that isn't selling drugs to kids in schools.
[00:08:01] Steve :
This is cat well, this statement below is categorically, untrue.
[00:08:09] Benjamin Balderson:
Bros are frat boy inclusive making it a majority. Well, I bet you the ortho bros have a frat of some sort. I mean, I'm I'm sure I'm sure they do, but to say that, like,
[00:08:21] Steve :
use of the word bro or attachment to the word bro doesn't necessarily make it I mean, maybe in in 2025, if you're, like, terminally online and you don't know a a bunch of different dudes and you, like but, you know, I don't know. That's that seems reductive with without I mean, I understand what frat bros are. I do.
[00:08:56] Benjamin Balderson:
Those are probably the original bros. So, I mean, he's probably got a point with that. I would think that the blacks were probably the original bros. Did they hang out mostly guy groups?
[00:09:09] Steve :
Apparently, far too often, which is what all those songs about being on the down low are all about.
[00:09:15] Benjamin Balderson:
Well, that's because all the hoars had to go inside. They are not walking on the streets after dark. So it turns out that that rule
[00:09:30] Steve :
led to what San Francisco is probably most famously known for being? My goodness. In hindsight, that was terrible. You should've just let them hose out after dark. Yeah. They're like, the guy's like, well, there ain't no hose around. We'll start hopping each other. Guess we'll have to go to those well, I guess we'll have to go to the freaking drag bars.
[00:09:53] Benjamin Balderson:
I found that tweet from July 16. Cracked the code. That's how it all happened. I've already had a bath and a beer. Now what am I gonna do? Right. It it did not clear up. It didn't ever go into focus. Home of the original Bohemian Club, which became
[00:10:10] Steve :
the retreat known as the Bohemian Grove, which just happened over the last week, and we all know what Nixon said about that.
[00:10:19] allen marcus:
Yeah. What did Nixon say about the grove?
[00:10:22] Steve :
Well Not enough oak trees. Alright. Well, are we gonna get in trouble if we pull the clip of Nixon talking about it or Nixon being quoted about it? It's presidential. It's historical.
[00:10:32] allen marcus:
I'm trying to pull a tweet quote from a Chase Haggard one asking what is an ortho bro, end quote, with a question mark. Can one of the people who uses this a as a pejorative explain what it means to me when people try to explain what it means to me. Even know why it's a pejorative.
[00:10:49] Steve :
I don't like, I think if you're taking offense at that, then you're reading some shit into it that, you know, it's a a it's a colloquialism
[00:11:02] Benjamin Balderson:
at this point. Mhmm. You know? You're not you're not catching the tone, and they're like, ortho bros.
[00:11:09] Steve :
There's Bernie Who's singing that? It's Bernie Bros. Oh, that was me. Yeah. Oh. Oh, wait. Did you wait. Do you, like, pull them out into curls and shit, and you have to, like, drop a freaking couple extensions on before you spin on the Christians like that? You know, you a dream. Entirely different culture. Is that something that you share with the the tiny hats?
[00:11:35] Benjamin Balderson:
It is something that they they took from us. We, in our culture, whenever, somebody is extremely dishonorable, when you, when you say their name, you're supposed to spit afterwards.
[00:11:51] Steve :
Yeah. Is that is is that really like a German thing, or is that, you know, because every culture does that. So so are you saying that mankind originated in Germany? Absolutely not. But the idea of the So because literally every culture does that. Like, tried to claim owners. The Italians do that. The Spanish do that. The Mexicans do that. The Indians,
[00:12:12] Benjamin Balderson:
not only do they spit, but they probably poop on the street after they say the name of somebody. Nobody even knows about them being nasty. You just assume that they're getting ready to make you food or something. Is it a tin spittoon then you got that, Thai t boba paper straw energy in you. It's just for It's that Thai tea, man. It's making me feisty. It is. Yeah. It's Steve's gonna have to put his hair into a man bun during the intermission.
[00:12:38] Steve :
That's probably not gonna happen. Okay.
[00:12:43] Benjamin Balderson:
Hey. Are you drinking out of a paper straw?
[00:12:45] Steve :
No longer.
[00:12:50] Benjamin Balderson:
I I believe there's rules to this, sir. You can't drink boba teas.
[00:12:55] Steve :
And I didn't even have the boba. It specifically came de boba nized. That was a stipulation.
[00:13:02] allen marcus:
I think we have to pay 5¢ every time we mention boba.
[00:13:06] Steve :
I thought we got 5¢ every time we mention it. Knocked my mouth. I clearly misread that contract. What the fuck, man? It's Boba Fett. He's a bounty hunter. I think he's a Disney property. Oh, okay. Okay. Mhmm. Well, in that case, the fucking Thai tea should have come with a couple of sweet ass laser blasters, and they totally didn't. So now I feel a little bit cheated. As you should. Anyway, here's Richard Nixon talking about the Bohemian Grove. Any day now. Is there seriously no That's what we That's what we
[00:13:44] Unknown:
Northridge County. You know what San San San San Francisco is just Sean. Where are we? I don't have, but it isn't this is just done around the part of town of the opera class in San Francisco is that way. I believe in
[00:14:15] Benjamin Balderson:
They won't even speak with them. Nixon refused to shake hands.
[00:14:20] Steve :
Somehow, he was unintelligible.
[00:14:22] allen marcus:
San Francisco. But I think the clear part was clear. We understood the intention of the words there.
[00:14:31] Benjamin Balderson:
Well, if all tricky dick won't do it,
[00:14:36] Steve :
If we ever need to hack Sherry.
[00:14:39] Benjamin Balderson:
What's up, Sheryl?
[00:14:42] allen marcus:
There's the password.
[00:14:45] Benjamin Balderson:
So I did see that eye from the background. Big hand wave.
[00:14:54] allen marcus:
I know we have a prayer that we wanted to begin our stream with. We did? Yeah. Chase Haggard was gonna lead us in prayer.
[00:15:03] Benjamin Balderson:
Oh, Chase is coming on? The Orthodox
[00:15:06] allen marcus:
Girl. Night. That's most. Okay. Okay. It's a horrible haiku, but it's an okay prayer for his next livestream. So it goes if we bow our bow our heads and close our eyes, we we read the prayer. Lord, thank you that I'm not like those ortho bros. They who flee from humility ceaselessly saying their world view is true. I obey the commandments. I tweet my prayers twice a day. I let all know I am fasting. Thank you, Lord, that I am not like those ortho bros. Amen.
[00:15:50] Steve :
I mean, he could have just posted a video of him trying to suck his own dick, and it would have had the exact same effect. It really would have. Oh, fuck. I what the fuck was that, dude?
[00:16:06] allen marcus:
We offered definitions of also grows. I I suggested that there's a thing called a tech bro. You You know, it's someone who espouses bro culture involved in the tech industry. So, therefore, Othor bro is a man who brands himself orthodox Christian and espouses orthodox Christianity online. It's pejorative in the sense that it's annoying behavior. You know, tech bros get into mansplaining, Bernie bros get into Bernie splaining, and ortho bros get into writing prayers saying they're not like the other also bros
[00:16:46] Benjamin Balderson:
as they explain. I don't think that that was what Oh, man. Think that that's what he was saying, though. I think he was owning all of the criticisms, and then putting them back is, like, they should be proud of it. Like, you're making fun of me for this? But do you even pray, bro?
[00:17:07] Steve :
Do you? No. Do do you How many praise do you do? No. I've done fucking 15 sets of praise before you even got the fuck out of bed, pussy. Yeah.
[00:17:21] allen marcus:
Come. I like it. So are you saying praise? Like, p r a I n c? Like, test No. I'm I'm I'm being intentionally
[00:17:29] Steve :
retarded and and putting an s on the end of praise instead of I prayed or, you know, I I you know, the
[00:17:41] allen marcus:
The PR.
[00:17:42] Steve :
Yeah. Yeah.
[00:17:44] Benjamin Balderson:
In the instant prayer
[00:17:46] allen marcus:
The performative PR
[00:17:48] Steve :
Work hard to break up, bitch. In ortho bro prayer. So
[00:17:53] allen marcus:
It's good. That's good.
[00:17:55] Benjamin Balderson:
It's funny. My brother was giving me shit because he's like, you eat a lot on your show. It's the only guy that's on. Yeah. I was like, you know, I don't have any control when Christie brings me food.
[00:18:08] allen marcus:
That's so that's that's true.
[00:18:10] Benjamin Balderson:
He hands me food. I eat the food.
[00:18:12] Steve :
I don't know what to say about that. Right? If I wanna eat the food hot Yeah. Then I'm gonna eat it when it's handed to me.
[00:18:20] allen marcus:
Yeah. That'd be great. At least, like, a few minutes after when I can make an excuse to go off camera because I'm not a fucking pig. This is the opposite of federal fatalism behavior. There was an article I sent you. I don't know that you got time to read it, but heterofatalism.
[00:18:41] Benjamin Balderson:
Nice. And tonight, we got the imperial from spicy Sarah. Anybody that knows spicy Sarah from the community, the imperial hot sauce. Nice.
[00:18:50] Steve :
Yeah.
[00:18:52] Benjamin Balderson:
Named after That's not that hot. Period. Hot.
[00:18:57] allen marcus:
It's also still trying to read that, yaki book called imperium. Not all the there's another group of bros who like to read Imperium. They like to imagine
[00:19:09] Benjamin Balderson:
Imperium. Is that like Dianetics?
[00:19:12] Steve :
Who is NBN?
[00:19:17] Benjamin Balderson:
That might be me. I don't know. Okay.
[00:19:20] Steve :
Was that just was that you trying to spell Ben and we had to interpret? I I mean, yeah. I'd be I did just call Ben a a pick Dave.
[00:19:33] allen marcus:
It's the, heat brew No. Ben
[00:19:39] Steve :
is constantly chewing with his mouth open on camera. That's why he's a pig. I what the fuck does Dave have to do with this shit? Dave's not here, man. Dave's not here. Oh,
[00:19:53] Benjamin Balderson:
well played.
[00:19:54] Steve :
Well played. There could be only one nature boy. I don't even know what else to say. I I don't I don't get it. I think we we clearly have direct evidence right in front of us in real time of the thing that was raised where I addressed the person doing the thing just to take. It did
[00:20:19] Benjamin Balderson:
well, fuck this day. I I don't And Steve can and Steve can say these things about me because Steve's over there drinking a prissy boba tea with a with a paper straw. So I am not currently drinking
[00:20:32] Steve :
of
[00:20:35] allen marcus:
Upgrade to a tin straw at least. Get a metal straw.
[00:20:44] Benjamin Balderson:
Of course, I'm unsophisticated. I'm drinking water out of an old honey jar.
[00:20:52] Steve :
I told you that in confidence before we went live, fucker. Holy shit. You violated my trust, and and now, I don't know, I'm gonna have to go There's a one no TikTok with my tits out and but it says that that somehow sexual assault. There's a window of five to six hours. Of course, it's gay. He's fucking around. We all know that. That's why there's none in the alleged cup. There's the, Holy fuck. You see what you do, Ben? The fucking people at home get a little tuned up, and they only pay half the fuck attention. And then the next thing you know, I directly address you, and they're like, oh, it's some guy named Dave. And then fuck it because that's what they have heard. As in behalf here, you talk shit, and they're like, oh, that's exactly how the world works now. I'm gonna go off and believe and let you see how this shit happens, dude. You see, you need to be careful with your words. That's what I'm trying to say.
[00:22:01] allen marcus:
Stop. I think we need another prayer.
[00:22:04] Benjamin Balderson:
That was me being careful with my words. It was the exact reaction that I desired.
[00:22:09] Steve :
That's fair.
[00:22:12] allen marcus:
So this is, a new bomb
[00:22:16] Benjamin Balderson:
signed by Is that fucking, the the the x guy? What the fuck is that little dude name dude's name in the x movies?
[00:22:27] allen marcus:
Vin Diesel. Is that Vin Diesel? It looks like Vin Diesel, but it's not Vin Diesel. This is a guy who's in a super group currently. In a super group? Is this the newest voice? Super group a. It it does look a little bit like Peter Furler. Peter Furler famously wore a black cowboy hat over his bald head.
[00:22:49] Steve :
I mean, it also looks like Vin Diesel, and it looks like the dude who played Charlie Runkle in Californication after, like, three weeks in the gym. I mean, it it looks like fucking Howie Mandel.
[00:23:02] Benjamin Balderson:
Howie Mandel? That's that's pretty buff for Howie. Isn't Howie Mandel scared of germs? I don't think he'd even lift weights.
[00:23:10] Steve :
He has a personal trainer.
[00:23:14] allen marcus:
Howie Mandel can afford it.
[00:23:16] Steve :
Yeah. Personal trainer. The personal trainer sterilizes him before, during, and after every workout. Mhmm. He just spritzes him with bleach water. Oh, no. No. No. No. No. No. Howie demands a full body shave and a wipe down every thirty five minutes.
[00:23:33] allen marcus:
Oh, fuck. It is sweltering.
[00:23:35] Steve :
On high impact days every seventeen minutes.
[00:23:38] Benjamin Balderson:
True. That bag, like every other fucking movie star and person like that, wants to take over the podcast industry. Oh. That was the last thing I've seen with him where he, invited Billy Corgan and and Bill Burr on to tell him that they were brothers.
[00:23:54] Steve :
Which is a bit, by the way, but a hilarious bit that should never die because both of them understood the concept of cringe comedy.
[00:24:06] allen marcus:
The the Billy Corrigan podcast is one of the most fun fun experiences I've had. Billy Corrigan talking with, choreography guy, which is named Corey Corey Corey Feldman.
[00:24:21] Steve :
Oh, that had to be a train wreck. I'd never even heard that this thing existed.
[00:24:28] allen marcus:
It's beautiful. It's more beautiful than this disturbed guy's bald head signing a bomb to drop off. But that is Howie Mandel? No. It's the guy from Disturbed.
[00:24:38] Steve :
Oh, Disturbed. Okay. So I was looking so I was looking for I was totally ready to believe that was Buff Howie Mandel.
[00:24:45] allen marcus:
Sweet leaf covers. So sweet leaf songs, sweet leaf covers, covers of the song sweet leaf. Oh, I did it on this guy.
[00:24:53] Benjamin Balderson:
Dad?
[00:24:54] allen marcus:
Yes. Well
[00:24:56] Benjamin Balderson:
You introduced me to my wife. Is there more to the song? There's a lot more to the song. I'm not gonna sing it, though. Do the
[00:25:10] Steve :
my oldest son was born to the masters of reality album. He came into the world listening to it.
[00:25:22] allen marcus:
This is a picture of David Draymond of Disturbed who was performing in a supergroup. There was a song called sweet leaf he was singing on stage. As he walked on stage, he was booed. They were booing him because of this picture of him signing a bomb.
[00:25:43] Steve :
Good. Remember,
[00:25:44] Benjamin Balderson:
I'm a a guy in, entertainment media that's that's all super dewy. I know I'm sure
[00:25:51] Steve :
got booed too. Monica Perez was on the show yesterday and and talked about how, like, she was her she planned her family vacation or her husband did around going to the last concert in Birmingham, England. And so she's in the audience for that, and Tom Morello gets booed every time he's, like, mentioned, thanked, or on stage.
[00:26:25] Benjamin Balderson:
That's good stuff.
[00:26:27] Steve :
I hope it continues throughout the rest of his career. And he's back to playing coffee shops and folk tunes like he tried to do fifteen years ago, like, under a different name and all that kind of stuff. I just wanna get back to my roots.
[00:26:44] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Yeah.
[00:26:46] Steve :
So I'm gonna cover Pete Seeger and Bob Dylan. Like, come on. And then I'm gonna write a bunch of my own woke, dumb stuff. I saw him do that for, like, fifteen minutes at hardly strictly. Like, I I sat there, and I was like, is he this is this is the thing?
[00:27:07] Benjamin Balderson:
You know? Is that part of strictly bluegrass?
[00:27:10] Steve :
Bluegrass. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then, like, a stage away and ten minutes later was Les Claypool's duo to twang. And I was like, I'm gonna go hang out with those weirdos. No. This is there's a lot like that South Park episode where they just fart in wine glasses.
[00:27:29] allen marcus:
Billy Strings covered sweet leaf, Billy Strings and the Psychedelic Circus, a cover of sweet leaf from 2019. It's a pretty good cover of it. What's the Billy Strings deal? Kind of a young guy. He's kind of a
[00:27:42] Benjamin Balderson:
kind of a hic ish, kind of bluegrass, kind of rock.
[00:27:47] Steve :
Okay. So he he's from a part of Michigan where it it's basically like they picked up rural Appalachia and then just dropped it into Michigan. And there's, like, a huge music and bluegrass scene there, and he and if you look at the way he plays, you know, he he might have a a touch of autism. And he's, you know, been kind of like a a guitar prodigy from a very, very, very young age and, like, played in competitions all over the place as a, you know, freaking preteen and early teens and stuff like that. And it is now fully jumped into the Grateful Dead Mafia, is one of the the better living guitar players that we currently have usually does just acoustic oriented stuff. Very rare to see the kid kid. He's, you know, probably mid thirties at this point. You know, hold an electric guitar.
But when he does, it's not fair. Like, it's already not fair when yeah. How much are we allowed to play of anything before YouTube is like, that's a no no. Like like, what's our actual fair use for this as far as dissection and commentary of any particular piece of music goes? Do we know? Is it a live performance that you wanna play?
[00:29:36] Benjamin Balderson:
I mean, I certainly I got I can't be monetized because I'm me, and and and I I'm not even me. So I don't even know.
[00:29:45] Steve :
Well, I mean, in terms of, like, even if, like, a video had to be taken down or, like, shit had to be cut out of it, You know, what does anybody even know what fair use is considered anymore? Is it just a personal thing?
[00:30:03] Benjamin Balderson:
It's it's just a YouTube thing. Like, anything it it seems like it's weird as shit, though, what YouTube will ding me on. Like, they dinged us on that one, where you said the song was done by your, your son's uncle. Mhmm. And they still dinged it. They still dinged us on it. I used to when I had, Owen's Alchemy going, I had written Dan Haim, talked to Dan Haim, asked them if I could use their music for my show. He he, you know, generously said, oh, absolutely. Then, you know, I don't have to pay for it. No nothing. Just go ahead and use it use it. And YouTube's like, no. We say no.
[00:30:44] Steve :
Mhmm.
[00:30:47] allen marcus:
You gotta know someone at YouTube to get on the good boys list, the green light list where you're allowed to get away with things until so many people report it. But the other group of people, they are on the no no naughty list, and their stuff gets blagged much quicker and taken down and not shared much quicker.
[00:31:08] Benjamin Balderson:
What's up, Brian? What's up, Stella? I heard Stella's dating the the Tim and Grappler. That's what I heard. Oh.
[00:31:18] Steve :
But this is I mean, you know, and and I'll I'll I guess what?
[00:31:24] allen marcus:
We can put it on mute and play it and then just recommend people go check the video out. Forty five seconds or a minute before,
[00:31:30] Steve :
you know, we stop for a second because I don't really understand this shit.
[00:31:35] allen marcus:
You know, find the highlight. Tommy Emmanuel and Billy Strings 2019.
[00:32:01] Benjamin Balderson:
Oh, so Billy doesn't have a sister, so that way he doesn't go the way the route of Jack White, the last guy that was doing bluegrass music. And,
[00:32:11] Steve :
Jack White was never doing bluegrass music. What are you talking about?
[00:32:15] Benjamin Balderson:
Oh, his original stuff was, your, great high mountain. Absolutely, that was blue grassy. All kinds of fiddle, all kinds of things like that. That everything what was that what was the damn movie that, Nicole Kidd, Cold Mountains. Cold Mountains. All the, like, half the soundtrack for Cold Mountain was fucking Jack White. And then he's then he's, then he's, calling his wife his sister and fucking being super weird.
[00:32:49] Steve :
Well, I guess that's what doing a movie with Nicole Kidman
[00:32:53] Benjamin Balderson:
will get you. Yeah. That's true. She's Australian?
[00:32:57] allen marcus:
Question mark. Allegedly,
[00:32:59] Steve :
if it even exists.
[00:33:01] allen marcus:
Nervous, she's not.
[00:33:03] Steve :
But Tommy Emmanuel is, you know, a a I mean, an absolute freaking legend, on the guitar. Love the 33 tattoos on, Billy there as well. I don't know. Like, I really fuck YouTube. Like, fuck him right in the poo in because it sucks to push pause on that shit because they're having fun up there. Just getting to the groove, and then you gotta pause it and commentate over it and say, I noticed he's wearing
[00:34:07] allen marcus:
pigtails. Is this,
[00:34:10] Steve :
the first two Blue was probably written by a black man who never got paid for writing the song. It's a shame that other artists get to make money by playing music that inspired them because
[00:34:23] allen marcus:
that's not what music is intended for. Does the blue and bluegrass refer to the color of the collar of the working man being blue?
[00:34:30] Steve :
No. It's Bill Monroe invented the sound whilst in Kentucky, the bluegrass state, even though it was originally from a little town in Indiana called Bean Blossom.
[00:34:43] allen marcus:
Bean Blossom.
[00:34:45] Steve :
Bean Blossom. And for years, they used to throw a bluegrass festival called the Bean Blossom Boogie. And when you showed up, it was, like, very, very straight laced, old school appreciators of good, clean, white, Christian music. And then it was also hippies and fucking biker gang members. And everybody got along, and everybody had a great time. And there were some very, very scornful looks from, you know, the men and women properly hatted, and properly attired. But ain't nobody called the law. You know? It was the eighties in Southern Indiana, and it was pretty much like that you we'll we'll really like, if we need you, we'll call you, but don't come around unless we call you.
[00:35:49] allen marcus:
So my mom coming home, 1991, Ozzy Osbourne. Love that video. We can't play it, but it's on his channel, so you guys can go and watch Ozzy Osbourne sing, my mom coming home, the fashion in that. Why would you do that, though? Because I love the nostalgia of it. It's all, like, sepia tone, and they're wearing the coolest hats. And they have, like, the fringes on the suede jackets.
[00:36:16] Benjamin Balderson:
Is that something that after he found value.
[00:36:19] Steve :
Like what? Like, white leather jacket type thing with the tassels on it?
[00:36:24] allen marcus:
It's it's in sepia tone. So Like, KK Rider, country black, but, you know, there's there's there's a time in the early nineties, like, 1991.
[00:36:34] Steve :
Oh, like the leather stone like, the the gray stonewash
[00:36:38] allen marcus:
kind of thing? Right. So then there's also, like, the Native American beadwork on the hats, that type of style. What what is that together? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like shadow run RPG where it's like, Dungeons and Dragons, but it's like elves and trolls and cyberpunk culture, like the street of Northwest. But it's like Arizona themed with the cactuses and the, bolo ties. Not quite Texas, but there's, like, this flavor of Arizona moved to, like, Seattle. And then you combine those styles together and you're a rock star look. What what is that?
[00:37:18] Steve :
It's the lyrics to the song Outshine by Soundgarden.
[00:37:22] Unknown:
Okay.
[00:37:27] Benjamin Balderson:
See what we got here. Man food. Here comes a look at that.
[00:37:45] allen marcus:
Are they using picks?
[00:37:50] Steve :
I mean, Billy is. Okay.
[00:37:54] Unknown:
Okay.
[00:38:20] allen marcus:
No. The facial expressions are musical in them themselves. Just
[00:38:27] Steve :
he's really getting into it. Might might have a little bit of the. Little bit. Little bit. That's alright. Bit. But the good kind, not like the I fucking punch random strangers and, you know, throw the model train sets of people kind. Yeah. It's more like Rain Man on a guitar. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely 375 notes that I could play in that particular measure. But that definitely definitely 375.
[00:38:55] allen marcus:
Three yeah. Are we trying to get a little stream sets? Because this is my station.
[00:39:01] Steve :
That's a nice station. That is nice. It's very nice. Host scale,
[00:39:05] Benjamin Balderson:
and it has a little light on it.
[00:39:07] allen marcus:
There's the, locomotive coming into view. Classy.
[00:39:11] Steve :
Okay.
[00:39:12] allen marcus:
It's probably on time too. See, the the most autistic thing about this is you get the catalogs, and then you just dream over, like, oh, that bridge.
[00:39:21] Steve :
Yeah. That shell oil. No. I'm I'm not I'm not knocking him, dude. Like, like, I'd frequently play his stuff.
[00:39:30] allen marcus:
I do ten minutes of Oh, I'm just talking about my love of train sets.
[00:39:36] Steve :
Well, maybe your love of train sets is what four twenty rolling up is referring to is great. Perhaps it is. Perhaps it is.
[00:39:46] Benjamin Balderson:
I could see the correlation.
[00:39:49] Steve :
Do you see the picture? He wasn't he definitely wasn't found by that, but that might have been, like, one of the first things that he did that went, like, Internet viral, as far as no. It's, it's cocaine, I think. It wasn't it, Dustin and Baggy. No. It's the song Dustin and Baggy. I mean, he did cocaine blues in freaking
[00:40:12] Benjamin Balderson:
You think Dustin and Baggy's mad?
[00:40:16] Steve :
Yeah. He even talks about, the the whole song's about math.
[00:40:20] Benjamin Balderson:
Like, the whole song. You know, I always imagined it was cocaine. I didn't I'd never Okay. Okay. Look. At at risk of
[00:40:30] Steve :
running a foul. And this motherfucker, they still won't let Hank senior in the fucking country music back in the country music hall of fame, Grand Ole Opry. Hank senior still kicked out of the Grand Ole Opry. Billy Strings got to do this song at the Grand Ole Opry. Hank still banned. So you can just hate, Hank, motherfuckers.
[00:40:59] allen marcus:
Meth, is that an amphetamine?
[00:41:02] Steve :
Yeah. Yeah. You know what? It was popularized back in the, early late late thirties, early forties. They they found that it was beneficial for, for men who were in combat situations with, alertedness and preparedness.
[00:41:20] allen marcus:
So there's, like, the hot metal and method dream lyric, The dumb dumb bolts that shoot to kill song.
[00:41:27] Benjamin Balderson:
You know, it's only useful though when the leader doesn't do most of the meth like like, mustache man. In the video the fucking video of him at the Olympics, that guy was so gapped out. It wasn't even funny. Uh-huh. To me, mustache man is Geraldo Rivera. That's fair. That that's fair. That's fair.
[00:41:47] Steve :
That's fair. That's why there's usually the Jay Dyer qualifier.
[00:41:53] allen marcus:
Tiny mustache man. Is that a bonus round? I I
[00:41:56] Benjamin Balderson:
call him the twink in pink.
[00:41:58] Steve :
That's that's also accurate. Okay. So, again, tell me this ain't about meth.
[00:42:08] allen marcus:
I'm all about that CRTV in the background, snail, and tube set.
[00:42:22] Unknown:
Play that. Hey. Play that I only tune you wrote. Not the one you played earlier. Play this one.
[00:42:33] allen marcus:
So who is the gentleman sitting on the couch?
[00:42:36] Steve :
That's Billy Strings
[00:42:38] allen marcus:
sitting on the couch. Great to me. He's young Billy. He's got a shorter hairstyle here. A little more Very much, though. Do that? Yeah. You can see the white roll around his ears. Play the latest one you wrote.
[00:42:49] Unknown:
That latest one you wrote.
[00:42:53] Benjamin Balderson:
Play that one. So
[00:43:21] Steve :
it are you are you willing to admit?
[00:43:24] Benjamin Balderson:
Seven days without sleep. A little bit long for for for for cocaine. That is a little bit, He does literally say this methamphetamine
[00:43:32] Steve :
has got a damn good hold of me. Yeah. That's that's that's the exact nest next line. I mean, we can run it back. You know?
[00:43:48] Benjamin Balderson:
And this guy behind it, Annette.
[00:44:00] allen marcus:
I heard that.
[00:44:01] Unknown:
Haven't been beaten three days.
[00:44:31] allen marcus:
It's alright. We love Billy Strings. We are Billy Strings stans here. Billy Strings fan club. Dust in a baggy. Seven days no sleep. Talks about using a lighter to heat it up.
[00:44:53] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. To the bulb.
[00:44:56] allen marcus:
This is what my youth pastor used to do with me. We'd, bring in song lyrics that he'd read off.
[00:45:02] Steve :
My tweaker friends have got me to the point of no return. You know who else was at the point of no return? Man called Jesus. He was in the desert, and he was being tempted. Come on, kids. Let's rap about this.
[00:45:19] allen marcus:
We wrapped last week.
[00:45:24] Steve :
We jumped around and
[00:45:26] allen marcus:
We had permission to jump around and get a little bit rowdy, little bit bowdy. But,
[00:45:35] Benjamin Balderson:
medical is probably not. Settle the fuck down over here. This is a moral establishment. Commit no nuisance. This sounds a whole lot like nuisance making to me.
[00:45:47] Steve :
Well, monk don't allow no guitar playing around here.
[00:45:51] allen marcus:
I am just gobsmacked by these lyrics. Alright. Now won't you listen? When I first met, you didn't realize. I can't forget you for your surprise. You introduced me to my mind and left me wanting you and your kind. Oh, yeah. I love you. Oh, you know it. At first, I thought this was about Jesus.
[00:46:14] Benjamin Balderson:
That that was the driest
[00:46:16] Steve :
reading of sweet leaf I've ever That's what Ben Shapiro's sex life sounds like.
[00:46:21] allen marcus:
I'm not trying to glorify this song at all, but it it it does kick kick a little bit of dust. My life was empty forever on a down until you took me, showed me around. My life is free now. My life is clear. I love you sweet leaf, though you can't hear, oh, yeah, baby. Come on now. Try it out. And then I get a little bit confused because it says straight people don't know what you're about. They put you down and shut you out. You gave to me a new belief. Oh, soon the world will love you, sweet leaf. Oh, yeah, baby.
[00:47:00] Benjamin Balderson:
Is this about chasing It's it's like Ben's it it's like fucking Ben's about Jesus. Fucking easy.
[00:47:06] Steve :
You see, alamarcus.com Yeah. How you introduced yourself. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Indeed. Severely scuffed intro.
[00:47:18] allen marcus:
We can redo it. You wanna start over? We're gonna
[00:47:21] Steve :
I mean, not we fuck it. We do it live. But We do it live, but we do post production too. Yeah. No. The sweet leaf that he's referring to is the leaf that Eve wore over her genitals. Her her her bathing suit area. Oh, the same. Yeah. Yeah. The her her no no square or private square. Yeah. Right. So That's that's the sweet leaf until temptation
[00:47:47] allen marcus:
Yep.
[00:47:50] Steve :
Destroyed the covenant that that both Adam and Eve had with I learned. I learned. Banished from the garden, dooming
[00:47:56] allen marcus:
all of of humans to life a sin. Yeah. I learned this in my Sunday school class. So Eve was covered by the fig leaf. That was the fig new plant. And Isaac Newton discovered gravity when the Which is a sin. When the apple fell on his head and struck him by lightning because he was having a kite with a key attached to it and and during a lightning storm. Right. Right. While they were fornicating.
[00:48:21] Steve :
Yes. And writing all of Shakespeare's plays. Posing his range. Electricity. Yeah. Yep. Yeah.
[00:48:28] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Makes sense.
[00:48:32] allen marcus:
Yeah.
[00:48:33] Benjamin Balderson:
Hey, Lucy.
[00:48:35] Steve :
What's happening, Lucy? What up, hometown?
[00:48:38] allen marcus:
Are you down there? That was the beginning of heterofatalism
[00:48:43] Steve :
when he didn't know fatalism. That is our new word of the day. Right? Yeah. They were fighting over Adam because he was the man. Oh, well and it's always the man bringing you down. Right?
[00:48:57] allen marcus:
Well, see, that's the thing. Women want to be satisfied, and they want a relationship with a man, but this heterofatalism leads them to always seeking a better man.
[00:49:14] Benjamin Balderson:
So it's fading Don't do that shit after dark.
[00:49:17] Steve :
Well, they can do that. That they have in common with an Eddie Vedder song?
[00:49:25] allen marcus:
Probably. Yeah. Do you have the lyrics to this song? I could send it to my youth pastor if it's on He needs
[00:49:32] Steve :
a fryer. He needs some handles. He'll find a Oh, no. What? Oh. Mhmm. Bishop.
[00:49:56] Benjamin Balderson:
Welcome to deliberating dog face dudes where we will absolutely slaughter any song, and we're just gonna spend the rest of the night either stating the lyrics as dryly as possible
[00:50:09] Steve :
State your name for the record. Or singing them as badly as possible. Nobody kicked you out of the telegram. I didn't even know that could be a thing. I'm ellen marcus dot com, and I'm Bro, I didn't. I don't know. I haven't even been in the fucking Telegram other than to drop the link for this show, like, all day.
[00:50:29] allen marcus:
We call it the praying spray. We just throw it out. There's, like, 900
[00:50:34] Steve :
admins on that thing. Aren't there, dude? Did you piss somebody off? Wait. Was it contentious in a group call? I don't know. Sometimes Shane gets drunk and does dumb shit.
[00:50:45] allen marcus:
Sometimes it's for our own good when God puts a wall around the garden and says, go go play outside. He ate too much fruit. Fig Newtons are just not great for your waistline.
[00:50:58] Steve :
Even though they're I just I know. I love Shane too. I just frequently see him apologizing to people in the Telegram group. Like, I didn't mean to end the voice call. I didn't mean to kick you out. I didn't mean to I just hit a button, and it's, like, 3AM in Australia. Yeah.
[00:51:18] Benjamin Balderson:
I've done that by accident. I could crush it. My one buddy, Dennis, and I know this guy, and I fucking I I fucking banned him from Karen's chat. I'm like, fuck. How did I do that? Shit. And then and then, and then, fucking, shit. Who is it? One of the other mods had to bring him back, so I couldn't figure it out. Billington. Billington had to bring him back, and I could because I couldn't figure that shit out. I was like, thanks, Billing. Appreciate that.
[00:51:53] allen marcus:
Computers are difficult. It's very difficult.
[00:51:59] Steve :
I fucked up the first, like, three or four times that I tried to do a Telegram, like, group call and ended the call instead of just leaving myself.
[00:52:09] allen marcus:
It it is embarrassing. And you know what's more embarrassing than that?
[00:52:13] Steve :
Being a self described ortho bro.
[00:52:18] allen marcus:
The second most embarrassing thing, according to this woman who wrote an article about heterofatalism, she says, straight being straight isn't is embarrassing.
[00:52:30] Steve :
Oh, is this about Shane Jones' performance at the ESPY Awards? Yes.
[00:52:35] allen marcus:
Yes. So I quote, I cannot count how often I've heard straight women say, I wish I were gay. It would be so much easier, or I know sexuality isn't a choice because if it were, no woman would be straight. Whenever queerness comes up in conversation, these statements are often said in a lighthearted half joking tone, but this is the problematic heterofatalism speaking.
[00:53:05] Steve :
I have something for this. I I do. Let me
[00:53:12] allen marcus:
You might have heard the word heteropessimism. That's another term that we use in the discourse.
[00:53:20] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. I don't have any of this.
[00:53:24] allen marcus:
No problems with disaffiliation with heterosexuality and straight culture?
[00:53:28] Benjamin Balderson:
No. I love pussy. Okay. Right. This this I don't know. I don't know. About it. My son big girl. But that's because I actually get it. So
[00:53:39] allen marcus:
So before I bury the headline, the author of this article, finalized her divorce with her husband and fell in love with another married man and decided she just wishes she were gay because it would be much easier to be in a relationship with a woman
[00:53:57] Steve :
than with a man. Yeah. Because that that works out because the the statistics on lesbian relationships are Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. I have something for this, and it's not something I would normally turn to, which is the comedy of Jim Jeffries.
[00:54:13] Unknown:
But
[00:54:14] allen marcus:
See, is he Jeffries? Divorce Son.
[00:54:18] Unknown:
Are lesbians by a mile. Lesbian marriages have the high check it. The highest rate of divorce in the world. The second level of divorce is heterosexuals. The lowest level of divorce is gay married men. Now let me mansplain to you what's just happened. The lesbians find it very hard to stay married because there are two women involved. Heterosexual marriages aren't without their complications because there is still one woman involved. Did you know the word gay means happy? With good reason because there are no women involved.
[00:55:26] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. And I and oddly enough, the violent statistics in relationships track that exact same pattern that lesbian relationships horrifyingly violent. Like, the the the jump Hey, babe. In the violence between a normal relationship and a and a lesbian is giant. It's just crazy. And then just like the the what he was saying right there, Steve's just answering phone calls now in the middle of the show. We're just talking on the phone during the show.
[00:55:56] allen marcus:
That's what's going on. If I had a banana phone, someone would call me right now and I'd answer it too. And I could probably clear up some confusion. There was an instance, on our livestream where I held up a banana and covered it in a whipped cream and and promised that I would not, do that publicly. Put the banana cream banana in my mouth in any way.
[00:56:20] Benjamin Balderson:
And then Was it was it gin girl scout cookie thin mint cream?
[00:56:24] Steve :
Was Kirk Cameron involved?
[00:56:27] allen marcus:
Kirk Cameron showed me how a banana is made by God because it fits perfectly in the palm of a hand because of the ridges. Like Yeah. You do one of these things, and the ridges of the fingers fits the banana perfectly. Yeah. And then he one of my favorite clips ever. And then he and then he proceeds to phalate the banana publicly
[00:56:47] Benjamin Balderson:
for the glory of god. Yeah. You got you gotta have them specifically fitted ridges because there's a lot of torque on a banana when you're when you're eating and handling a banana. You're gonna you're gonna experience a lot of torque on that. Well, I'm familiar with ridges and potato chips, but tell me, where else do we find ridges, Ben? Ruby?
[00:57:07] allen marcus:
Ruby?
[00:57:08] Steve :
On the backs of lizards, which were sent by Satan.
[00:57:12] allen marcus:
Satanic lizards.
[00:57:15] Steve :
Mhmm. And also mountain tops and also mohawks.
[00:57:24] allen marcus:
Are those in fashion again?
[00:57:27] Benjamin Balderson:
I do like a good mohawk. I can't really grow one anymore. I don't know what you call a mohawk that starts at, like, the back end of your head and just goes down the back. I don't know what you would call that exactly. But You could probably you could probably get yourself into, like, a decent half of mister t.
[00:57:42] allen marcus:
It's like a half hawk. A a full a partial hawk and not really a faux hawk. Because a faux hawk is a very It would be a a by hawk,
[00:57:50] Benjamin Balderson:
which does That was like that was like the third road warrior. You know, the the hawk had the you know, and the other one had the two, you know, and then the third one just had the just the back of his head. So does Oh, no. We've discussed this thoroughly, Lucy. Sandy Patty went to and sang at the church that I grew up in.
[00:58:09] Steve :
Like, personal friends with my my parents, along with the Gaithers and Harold Ramis of the Statler brothers.
[00:58:21] Benjamin Balderson:
I thought he was from the Ghostbusters.
[00:58:23] Steve :
Or Harold, whatever the fuck his name was. Ramis was from the Ghostbusters. That's the name that popped into my head because I don't know. I just I just Harold. I was quick on that. Who the fuck knows who Harold Ramus is anymore?
[00:58:37] Benjamin Balderson:
Oh, that's awesome. That's right. That's right. That's fair.
[00:58:41] Steve :
What the fuck was that guy's last name?
[00:58:47] allen marcus:
I'm looking up,
[00:58:48] Benjamin Balderson:
in Elle Forget the wide Fohawk. That's the oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like, Chuck Liddell had. Maybe I'd do, like, Harold Reed. I got Harold Reed. Maybe I could do one of the original So it was a last name that began with an r
[00:59:08] Steve :
and had an I in it. Mhmm. Now I'm a little high.
[00:59:13] allen marcus:
Yeah. Are you high enough to listen to the art Garfunkel and Amy Grant collaboration from 1986?
[00:59:20] Benjamin Balderson:
Fuck no. No.
[00:59:22] Steve :
Because No. I would rather listen to Garfunkel and Oates. We will celebrate
[00:59:28] allen marcus:
Christmas in July. It's quickly approaching, and we wanna look at the perspective of the nativity scene from the animal's perspective. When we want the music to be from our Garfunkel and Amy Grant, we want the year to be 1986, and we want it on cassette tape from Columbia Home Records.
[00:59:46] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. You got it for a penny, but you never paid that penny.
[00:59:49] allen marcus:
It was a pretty penny to pay for Yeah. 12 for the price of one.
[00:59:56] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Buy one, get the next 11 for a penny each. Yeah. Columbia Home Records. I I like those. And just
[01:00:02] Steve :
make sure that you sign up with all of the addresses of all of your neighbors that you know aren't home till five or 05:30, and the mail shows up between one and three, you get home about 03:30. And, yeah, you just go and collect your music and bring it back to the house.
[01:00:23] Benjamin Balderson:
That's what I did with them Time Life books. But one day, my mom caught me before I before mail before me, and there happened to be a bill for those books I've been receiving, and that bill got paid on my ass. Oh.
[01:00:40] allen marcus:
For a time, I was known as current resident, and I got a lot of mail.
[01:00:45] Benjamin Balderson:
Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's that's a that's a good alias. Yep. Right. Right. Kinda like that. Far enough into the six, they don't even bother with that shit. They're like,
[01:00:58] allen marcus:
you know, your hillbilly ass ain't getting it. Like, c u r r a n t, like the berry,
[01:01:04] Steve :
current and Yeah. No. You look far out in the sticks, and they're like, you're gonna come to us if you want anything at all. We're not we're not even gonna try. But no, dude. Amazon might throw it in the fucking lockbox at the very, very, very bottom of the road if you're lucky, and the fucking tweakers haven't cut all the locks off.
[01:01:28] Benjamin Balderson:
Dude, I consistently get into fights with the delivery places because they tell me they can't deliver to a PO box. But they also won't deliver to my house, so they deliver it to the post office where the post office puts it in my fucking PO box or puts a little key in there that says it's too big for me to get, so I need to go to this other box. Mhmm. Like, it's just gonna go to the post office anyways, you douchebags. Quit arguing with me. Oh, he don't deliver the PO boxes.
[01:01:58] allen marcus:
I did notice this pattern where it's like the the mailman shows up, doesn't ring twice, and then he's gone. And you get a note saying you gotta go pick up your package, but the package is still on the truck. So you have to wait till the truck arrives to unload it. It's difficult.
[01:02:20] Benjamin Balderson:
This never happens in my house.
[01:02:24] allen marcus:
They they, like, FedEx ninjas show up. They're fast enough to knock on your door, realize no one's home, and then leave a note, and then disappear before you can run to the door.
[01:02:35] Steve :
Oh, I I have I have experienced that once or twice where I, like, I'd yeah. When I was in Sonora, that happened a couple of times. It's like, like, UPS truck or FedEx truck would pull up. Yep. Here's the sign for the package. I would hear the freaking driver walk up, open the gate, knock on the door, and I went, like, through two rooms. Yeah. That room in a kitchen, through a living room to the door. And in that amount of time, he was pulling away in the truck. And and I didn't I didn't suddenly, like, get my legs cut off. I I didn't have, you know, a freaking crutches, wooden in a wheelchair maneuvering through an obstacle course. I didn't have the ninja warrior through it. You're handicapable, Steve. You can At at no point was I required to fight anyone from American Gladiators in order to pass through to get to the door.
[01:03:46] Benjamin Balderson:
They're back, though. Are you sure? I heard they're back and The Gladiators?
[01:03:52] allen marcus:
Yeah.
[01:03:53] Benjamin Balderson:
And and they do occasionally try and stop you from receiving packages. Every once in a while. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But this is pre,
[01:04:01] Steve :
you know, reboot. Oh, okay. It could have been randoms in training, and they had, like, got hired on with Amazon or UPS or something like that. You fed That's the best. You know, as part of their training, hop the fence. Right? Bang on the door, and then, you know, go around through, like, a different door, barrel roll back into the living room, grab a giant Q tip, fight me with it. Okay.
[01:04:32] allen marcus:
Okay. The state of the episode. Sure. So here's what I'd like to do. I'd like to pitch you an idea for a wife carrying contest, but it's the United States Postal Service versus the United Parcel Service. So USPS versus UPS in a wife carrying contest.
[01:04:53] Benjamin Balderson:
I think those UPS guys have fatter wives. It seems unfair.
[01:04:56] Steve :
That really well, no. I've met some postal wives. There's a mail carrier in our neighborhood. Going postal. His nickname was Bucky.
[01:05:06] Benjamin Balderson:
Everyone called him Bucky. I can't even remember what his real name was. To be fair, you expect him to have a giant wife. It's
[01:05:14] Steve :
yeah. Yeah.
[01:05:17] allen marcus:
I saw some marines this weekend. I went to a fair, a county fair, and they had marines that were didn't look American to me, but apparently were marines representing the American military. And they had a pull up bar, and they have a challenge. So you have to do, like, 10 pull ups or something. Maybe you get a Filipino? I, you know, I didn't ask. I didn't get close.
[01:05:40] Benjamin Balderson:
Not everybody in the in the military is like, some Filipinos and some of the other guys from the places that we own but don't let vote, they they do come and join the military. I didn't make eye contact, so I didn't see what was going on there. I just saw they got the weirdest problem with, you know, that, test that they do where they put the little bubble under your skin? The tuberculosis test. Oh. I have I've never seen anybody fail it till, most about half the Filipinos that were in, when I was in the army when I was going through training, about half of them failed it. Like, when when you fail that test, there ain't no doubt. His whole arm looked like it had gangrene. So let me let me let me take the test.
Uh-uh. T u b e r c u l o s I s. Did I get it right? That one where they took a little bubble on in your in your forearm, and they just kinda put the needle a little bit under your skin and then make a little bubble. Your whole arm after that, like, all of the Filipino guys that had tuberculosis, their whole arm just, like, swelled up and started looking all gangrenous and shit.
[01:06:44] allen marcus:
And that prevents them from doing, like, 10 pull ups on the the the chin bar? That prevents them. Tuberculosis,
[01:06:51] Benjamin Balderson:
as they say, is contagious. So that they take they take in ice they put them in isolation immediately. K. One of one of the contentious territory
[01:07:01] allen marcus:
medical information.
[01:07:05] Benjamin Balderson:
That's not really medical information. That's just army procedures.
[01:07:13] allen marcus:
Do you face your palms out or face your palms in when you're doing the the lift bar? So it's, like, out and then pull up or, like, facing you and then pull up?
[01:07:23] Benjamin Balderson:
Pull ups isn't, something you have to do in the army for your PT test, and they don't care which way you do it when you're doing it not just for your normal workouts. In the army, it was, you had to run two miles. You had to do a given amount of push ups in two minutes. It was, like, 32 to pass when when you were So running without taking breaks? Yeah. You had to do two miles in, fourteen minutes or something like that. Fourteen, fourteen and a half minutes. I could do it in eleven. Okay. I'm not I'm not the fastest runner, but I could do a one mile in five minutes.
And then you had to do, give a number of sit ups in two minutes. And then in the marines, you have to do pull ups as part of yours. In the air force, they don't run. They ride 10 speed bikes.
[01:08:18] allen marcus:
With the fat tires on them?
[01:08:20] Benjamin Balderson:
I have no idea. I wouldn't Which are, like, the the thin road bike tires. I think the thin ones because well, I mean, this is that's a mountain bike, isn't it? The the one with the fat tires?
[01:08:32] allen marcus:
The fat tires with the grip might be more of a mountain bike style. Like, the road bike for two differents is, like, a much thinner one. Yeah. I think it was more like that. Bikes as often anymore. Then they have, like, extra fat fat tires. Yeah. Going off of Walmart prices, they have, like, the Ozark brand. It's like a extra fat tire bike
[01:08:56] Benjamin Balderson:
for Oh, no, man. I was in the army in the nineties. Like, that was a long fucking time ago. They didn't have all that.
[01:09:07] allen marcus:
Did you ever ride a hog or a Harley or a chopper?
[01:09:10] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. I owned a Harley. Okay. I I I did not like it. I got a killer deal on a Harley that he'd bored the motor out. This thing was just mean as shit. Well, it didn't have a a compression release on it. Like, I like, here, I'll show you. There's one of I never used this one on this chainsaw. On my big chainsaw, though, I do. You You see there's this little, little button you could push and push that in. And what that does is when you go to pull the when you go to pull the in which I'm not gonna pull this right now, but when you go to pull this, if it's on the compression stroke, it allows that compression to go by and so that way you can actually turn the motor. Well, this Harley that I had was all decked out and, bored out the whole nine.
I had to go kick start it one day, and I went to kick start it, and it was on the compression stroke. And I went about halfway down, and the compression was more than I got asked because I'm only like one hundred and fifty pounds I was like, that was the end of that. I was I didn't really ride it too much after that. I was like, if you can't kick start your bike, you shouldn't be riding it, you know, for the most part. So had you not read Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance before maintaining your motorcycle in a Zen way? I did not know that there was a Zen way to maintain a motorcycle.
I've been a mechanic for a lot of years. I've I'm I'm an auto mechanic, a diesel mechanic. I was also trained in turbines and stuff, through the army. Mostly included, it's a lot of cussing, you know, some throwing things.
[01:11:07] allen marcus:
Like, that's that's At at the engines that you're repairing?
[01:11:10] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
[01:11:14] Steve :
I mean, how much are you supposed to get them to work? Right? That's what I'm saying.
[01:11:20] allen marcus:
It's basically, my experience with printers in the, IT department. Printers were terrible, and they always wanted them working, and they never work. So we'd you know, we could curse them, cuss them, pray over them, try everything. But, usually, we just had to calm down and and say, yeah. Let's just put in a order for a new printer. And they're like, well, look at the price of the printer. Could we just you know you know what? Here's the problem. You're trying to print something out that doesn't need to be printed out. Could you send it as an email instead?
Oh, yeah. I guess that'll work. Great. Is there anything else I can do for you? Your email's working? Very good. There's a whole discourse about, you know, Adobe's PDF files versus Word documents and attachments.
[01:12:13] Benjamin Balderson:
Yes. How did the reference conversation come up? Everybody's talking about school PE and school activities.
[01:12:19] allen marcus:
Chin ups.
[01:12:20] Benjamin Balderson:
Oh, the chin ups. Oh. The physical fitness test. Oh, right. Right. Now that makes sense. Good. Good call. Good call. Did you do any rope climbing? Yeah. Yeah. I'm real good at rope climbing. It's shocking to me that people can't climb the rope. It's real weird. Right.
[01:12:37] Steve :
That is kinda wild.
[01:12:40] allen marcus:
So that was that was kind of my, introduction to the the county fair. I walked in and I saw the marines, and I just kinda walked past them. They had a demolition derby that was going to happen that evening, and I parked outside of the the Fairgrounds on the street behind a fence where I could kind of look over the fence and kind of see where the Motor Speedway was. And it was getting to be about sundown, so they're starting the Derby. And I was just sitting in my vehicle having a a banana, getting that, nutrition I need, having a little drink of water, replenishing myself.
[01:13:18] Benjamin Balderson:
Were you putting whipped cream on it? I didn't bring the whipped cream.
[01:13:23] allen marcus:
You ate it all? That's not that's not for public consumption.
[01:13:27] Steve :
The vast majority of commercial bananas have zero nutritional value.
[01:13:32] Benjamin Balderson:
That's true. That's because there is no that's because there is no bananas. Right. We all hold that. There's plantains?
[01:13:41] allen marcus:
Yes. There are no bananas.
[01:13:43] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. There are no bananas.
[01:13:45] Steve :
Yeah. No. There are only plantains.
[01:13:48] allen marcus:
Yeah. So so there's there's three bicycles and three guys who are standing on their bicycle seat to look over the fence
[01:13:56] Benjamin Balderson:
because they wanted to see what was going on with the Derby. One of them Jewish, one of them Polish, and one of them German?
[01:14:03] allen marcus:
It looked that way to me. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Which would explain why the guy who was on the little scooter cart driving on the other side of the fence in the private area behind the pit crew was driving around yelling at the boys to not look over the fence. I was standing right where the curb was looking over the fence because I was just tall enough to do so.
[01:14:31] Benjamin Balderson:
Marcus is very tall and lanky.
[01:14:34] allen marcus:
True. So that was my act of, mischief and, for the day looking over a fence to to catch a derby that I had not paid for a ticket to sit down in a grandstand to see.
[01:14:47] Benjamin Balderson:
We used to do that sometimes at the drive in movies.
[01:14:50] Steve :
Mhmm.
[01:14:53] allen marcus:
The stands were filled with people, and there was three boys looking over the fence to see what they could see, which was not very much at all. And the security guard, brave of him, brave of him, had to do his job and tell them to not touch the fence. They couldn't hold on to the fence.
[01:15:13] Benjamin Balderson:
Okay. To be fair, occasionally, people get hurt at these derbies because the cars come apart. They crash. Things fly into the feds. So, I mean, you know, there is a little bit of a safety issue. And if they aren't you know, if you're a customer at the show, you've kind of agreed to to the dangers that are gonna happen. If you're outside the show, I don't know what kind of legal ramifications there would be for, somebody who's a bystander not participating in the event at all. Yeah. You know, a tire flying out and smashing them in the head.
[01:15:52] allen marcus:
You know about the length of a football field away from the action, so that would have to be a long
[01:15:57] Benjamin Balderson:
distance for the tire to to fly from the pit. Yeah. I was just watching a video of a monster truck rally when the monster truck went up, and it came down, and one of them tires went ding, and it ran clear out into the parking lot, bounced its way over the fence, and then bounced onto two cars, crushed two cars, kept on going right out the parking lot. Like, could you imagine being driving by and all of a sudden a fucking monster truck tires just, like, bouncing at you?
[01:16:32] allen marcus:
Yeah. I could imagine that in a small town. So it's a demolition derby. The object of this derby is to drive your vehicle into other vehicles to destroy them so that they can no longer make a victory lap around the the mud pit that they're fighting in. It started with little kids on little Power Wheels. So they had the little pow pow Power Wheels, you know, like the they had the Barbie theme Power Wheels. Those are popular in the early nineties, pow pow power wheels. They're driving those around in the Derby.
[01:17:10] Benjamin Balderson:
And then you got your it just got more generic now, so you don't back then, power wheels were the only people making them. We're not gonna go down the tractor supply or any other company, and there's there's a a 100 companies making those now. So Power Wheels kinda fell out of fashion.
[01:17:28] allen marcus:
Mhmm. So I guess my thought was those three boys were excited about race cars and demolition derbies and auto mechanic stuff, and they were looking over the fence to see what was going on. And, the Boys have that's supposed of all of their own?
[01:17:45] Steve :
Woah. Mhmm.
[01:17:49] allen marcus:
They they might be future race car drivers someday. Brought to you by f one in theaters now starring Brad Pitt. Have we seen the movie yet?
[01:18:00] Benjamin Balderson:
The last movie I saw in theaters, Brian and I went and saw, The Northman. It was awesome too. There was only, like, two other people in that whole fucking theater. I mean, we did do the matinee or whatever. You know? The last last movie I saw in the theater
[01:18:17] Steve :
was Cocaine Bear. Oh.
[01:18:22] Benjamin Balderson:
I thought you didn't like Owen Benjamin that much. Weren't you fighting?
[01:18:28] Steve :
Oh, no. No. No. I said movie. Movie. Oh. Oh. Film. You can't quite call it cinema because it was, you know,
[01:18:42] Benjamin Balderson:
horrible. A film. Also film. Have you seen that movie, The Gentleman? I don't believe so. Oh, dude. You've gotta watch that. That is that that show is freaking awesome, and it's got, what's the dude's name that says that? Colin. Colin Farrell. And Colin Farrell does not at all it's you can barely tell it's him. And he's like and he he's he's an Irish boxing coach, and he gets some blackmail on this dude, and he has it on film. And he's like, let's sit down and watch this film. Like, oh, it's hilarious.
[01:19:21] allen marcus:
I was listening to the the Pogues earlier. I think they are an Irish band. As everyone should. Yep.
[01:19:28] Benjamin Balderson:
It's that Guy Ritchie's movie. It's like the first big movie movie. Yeah.
[01:19:33] Steve :
Guy Ritchie. Yeah. I like his movies. Most of them have been pretty good, I think. For a dude who dated Madonna, he somehow wound up having a little bit of talent. That dude dated Madonna? Yeah, dude. That's why Madonna songs are in lock stock and two smoking barrels, and there's the whole, like, Madonna soliloquy and snatch. That's the the era that they were together.
[01:20:01] allen marcus:
Weird. Madonna's got Snatch. I hadn't thought I'd say that word today. The whole, like, bullet to Tony
[01:20:08] Steve :
story and Lucky Stars playing in the background. That's that's why there's a Madonna song in there because he didn't have to play.
[01:20:17] Benjamin Balderson:
During the, risque movie era, you know, when Basic Instinct came out and they they had to they made a bunch of other movies that were super sexualized and whatnot. Madonna was in one with Willem Dafoe. And there's this sex scene, and he pull she's, like, just in a bra or something, and it pans down her body And her face and her body down to her, you know, no no region. And on Madonna, that is a no no region. Mhmm. I could they, I remember I was only, like, 17. So you're ready you're ready to hump anything that's kinda warm. Right? And you're still like Ugh.
Like, I thought Madonna was gross back then. Yeah.
[01:21:05] Steve :
Guy Ritchie did a movie with Ray Liotta and Andre three thousand called Revolver, and it is one of the trippiest films I've ever seen in my entire freaking life.
[01:21:22] Benjamin Balderson:
Turn it this way.
[01:21:24] allen marcus:
Why? Is it about a gun? You were so weird.
[01:21:29] Benjamin Balderson:
No. For anybody that would like to know why my wife never comes on, Like, that was her just because of her paranoia that she might possibly somehow that corner of her come on. She made me turn the camera. So it's like over here
[01:21:44] Steve :
even though in it was like eight Yeah. My my girl didn't wanna be on camera at all. She'll show up for live events, which is fucking awesome. You know? Like, if she can get off work and stuff like that, and if I could do
[01:21:57] Benjamin Balderson:
yeah.
[01:21:58] Steve :
Yeah. Yeah. She'll do that. You know? I'm there. She's in the, she's in the documentary that T Snyder filmed Oh, cool. Partially at, the Nashville event. She's in that for, like, a a freaking frame and then, you know, out of it. But yeah. Cool.
[01:22:25] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Chris Christy has zero desire to be on on screen, on air. Absolutely zero. She's like, there's a reason that when Steve wants to talk to Christy, he just says, hey, Christy, because she's literally right here. But, no. She don't wanna be on the screen. Yeah.
[01:22:44] allen marcus:
Hey, Christie. Do you remember the first time you had an In N Out burger?
[01:22:51] Unknown:
I'm I am, like, the only Californian who hates I hate In N Out burgers. So I Okay. I don't remember it because it wasn't a good experience.
[01:23:00] allen marcus:
Right. I think it's a Minnesota thing or, like, places that don't have In N Out burgers. They're like, you gotta go to In N Out.
[01:23:08] Steve :
I mean, California will defend In N Out, but that's Thank you. You know, I mean, as far as fast food goes, up until a certain point, In N Out fell off dramatically. But they kept the scriptures
[01:23:24] allen marcus:
they kept the scriptures hidden in in their little cups. Yeah. In
[01:23:28] Benjamin Balderson:
California, it's not just those places where they don't have it. In California, In N Out is like a religion.
[01:23:36] Steve :
For a lot of people, it really is. But, yeah, it sucked from, like, 2020 on. I've never really, like, been like, oh, dude. That no. Uh-uh. But I mean I can almost guarantee I haven't eaten any fast food
[01:23:52] Benjamin Balderson:
since well prior to 2020, so I wouldn't even know.
[01:23:56] Steve :
No. No. I I would yeah. There's a whole bunch of different burger places I would rather go to. And at this point, Shake Shack, far superior.
[01:24:11] allen marcus:
Okay. There's
[01:24:13] Steve :
a a place in, Mill Valley called Super Duper Burger, and it is. It's great. It's fantastic. And it's fucking just is, like, old as fuck. Building's about the size of an apartment living room, you know, just on, like, the Old Town, Maine drag. Been there for since nineteen tickety two or whatever. And, yeah, it used to be like a a drive up, right, where you'd park. Mhmm. And they turned that into a drive through when it was no longer something that you wanted to put on insurance where you were putting teenagers and then, like, drunk college students on roller skates and tiny shorts to go carry a tray of food to a car.
[01:25:03] allen marcus:
Okay. Okay. So I know there's also a place called White Castle. I'm just writing down some burger joint and eggs.
[01:25:10] Benjamin Balderson:
I wanna organize them for the most special Minnesota. I haven't Right. I I rarely see White Castles except for a Minnesota. In fact, I had never eaten White Castle, and I get there, and we didn't even fucking drink that night. My friend's like, you never had White Castle? And then they introduced me to the slider. Slider. And and and they're these tiny little burgers, and they come in, like, a four pack thing. And you have to eat, like, 30 of them when you're a teenager in order to get full because you got a hollow leg. And the fries are tiny too, so you gotta eat 30 of those. And then I worked as a mechanic, and I worked at Kmart. And anybody that's been a mechanic, like, our bathrooms aren't like a normal bathroom because we have, like, lockers and all that kind of thing and real extensive washing stations because you go through a lot of nasty stuff as a mechanic. So you gotta have changes of clothes and clean yourself and all that. And I went in there the next day, and and it was, like, two in the morning. So, like, six hours later, I'm in the bathroom, and I had to pinch it off and walk to the other side of the Kmart and finish off in the customer area bathroom.
Like, I come back for finishing it off, and they have all the shop doors open. They have that bathroom door open. They have this giant fan blowing it out. They're like, whatever the fuck you did, don't ever do that again. And I have it. Jamie hasn't said anything, but, yeah, I will, drop her the Streamyard link. She had to do she was at a meeting right at,
[01:26:45] Steve :
time, and I should've It is 07:30 already. I should've dropped it to her, but it shouldn't have. Just yes. There was a absolutely worst case at Gene's root beer stand, and Gene's root beer stand is still fucking well, I don't know about still, but, like, the that that place was awesome. Absolutely awesome. Famed. I no. No. There might be there's a White Castle in Vegas, I think, but there's, like, one.
[01:27:19] Benjamin Balderson:
It's in your, X.
[01:27:22] allen marcus:
So we we could serve in, Chick fil A, Chick fil A?
[01:27:27] Benjamin Balderson:
Never eaten at a Chick fil A. I've been I I've never seen one until long after I was a vegetarian. Being a vegetarian really narrows that down for starts. And then when you have good at home food that is literally some of the best ingredients that you could possibly imagine and it's made in an at home meal, and then before you go to a restaurant, you're like, why did you shit on my plate? Yep. Why did you serve me a plate of shit?
[01:27:59] Steve :
Sounds like a Taco Bell dish. There's the I mean, there really are only a fucking handful of restaurants that I even feel like going to, and they're scattered all over The US.
[01:28:14] Benjamin Balderson:
Best restaurant in the country, sweet Melissa's in fucking Laramie, Wyoming. And that's because she's homemade making all the stuff and grows a lot of it, and it is amazing.
[01:28:26] Steve :
Oh, man. My I had a a friend who had a place in Burlingame for a while, and she was a hoe. And all of that food was homemade. All of it. Every last bit. It was delicious.
[01:28:39] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Yeah. If if you get lucky enough to find a place like that, remember it and then cry when it gets when it closes down. No. COVID shut her out, dude. It was fucking,
[01:28:49] Steve :
it was like her she was Salvadoran, but her dad was from Ecuador, and it was both of those on the same plate, and it was fucking delicious.
[01:29:05] Benjamin Balderson:
You know, I'm from the upper I'm from, as Steve likes to put it, Canada's taint. Mhmm. And and I don't have that distinguishment between all those different, Latin foods. You know, we have we have fucking Taco John's. It's Tex Mex Steve. It's Tex Mex. Are delicious, motherfucker.
[01:29:26] Steve :
Keith McHenry, who cofounded Food Not Bombs. The the who's on unemployable by federal decree because he's on he's been on the FBI's terrorist organization list since 1989 for providing meals to the homeless.
[01:29:46] Benjamin Balderson:
Some bitch.
[01:29:47] Steve :
Wow. Yeah. Keith McHenry. We were at the defeat the mandates thing in Los Angeles in, like, 02/2002. And I see Keith walk in, you know, or walk down or whatever to run over, and I was like, what's up, motherfucker? Because that's my dude. And he's like, hey. We have to go to breakfast tomorrow. You know? And I'm like, alright, Bette. Whatever it is, great. You know? Blah blah blah. I gotta get back. We're doing interviews and shit. You know? I was there with pasta. We were doing it for the show and stuff like that. And, next morning, you know, he's like, hey. You know, we're at this place, blah blah blah. Here's the address.
And we're driving there, and it's like the fucking bio homes. It's the it you're not in California anymore. You're in California. Yeah. And fucking there's we're, like, three blocks from actual fucking Skid Row. It's down there over there a little bit. We fucking turn up, like, Fourth Street, and there's this
[01:31:04] allen marcus:
Sebastian Bach?
[01:31:06] Steve :
There's this, like, teeny tiny row house looking place, little green awning out in front of it. Alright. You know? And then fucking Keith and his old lady are sitting there outside on the porch, and it's a Salvadoran fucking restaurant, dude. And it was, like, hands down the best fucking breakfast I've ever had in my entire life from a restaurant, babe, if you're listening. K? From a restaurant. We qualify that. But holy fuck, dude. It was so goddamn yummy. And they loved Keith and had known Keith for, like, twenty fucking years. And his old lady spoke, like, fluent dialectical Salvadoran because she had spent, like, ten years down there.
And so we got styled the fuck out. It was great, dude. So fucking good. Never going back. Was that in 1989?
[01:32:17] allen marcus:
What year was that breakfast?
[01:32:20] Steve :
Oh, it was in 02/2002. Yeah. Yeah. When Food Not Bombs got, labeled, domestic terrorist organization for, again, feeding homeless people. Uh-huh. Well, literally, anyone. Anyone. Their their promise is you you will get one hot vegetarian or vegan meal every day, rain or shine, drunk or sober. If you need food, we'll feed you. You know? And then sometimes they'll, like, hand out tents and stuff like that and, you know, but, oh, dude.
[01:32:53] allen marcus:
And then the vegetarian option wasn't soy and tofu?
[01:32:57] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. See, where I'm from, the foreign people are Canadian. And and and that's not really an ethnic food. That's just, like, less flavorful American food. Right. Like, like, they've just managed to put less spice in it. Yeah. You're like, holy shit. And then and then, Native American food. I've had all the different Native American
[01:33:18] allen marcus:
Wild rice is actually a seed. It's not rice. Did you know that? What's that? Wild rice is a seed, and it's not actual rice. Yeah.
[01:33:28] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. So that's that's true. Christy had a cut. Christie's, one of Christie's clients was, like, the biggest wild rice grower in California.
[01:33:37] Steve :
So we do get some wild rice. Like, we should do a lot of rice soup. Food Not Bomb. I mean, like, hopefully, like, most of the people that are watching are at least, like, halfway familiar with Food Not Bombs. But over the last ten years here. Hey, Emily. Over the Emily, hop in if you're bored. Ben will send you a link.
[01:33:56] Benjamin Balderson:
Okay. I will do that.
[01:33:59] Steve :
No no pressure. Do it. You know, we're we're not trying to, like, encourage you or anything, but you should. But, yeah, over the last, like, ten years, like, Keith has become, like, a really fucking good friend of mine, and he's on the show frequently. And, yeah, dude, I fucking I love that guy. The story time with Keith is abso fucking lutely hilarious. It's the best thing. He was kidnapped by the son of God in Africa. And then once they found out that he was like, shit broke and literally nobody was going to ransom him, they were like, ah, fuck it. You can go.
[01:34:46] Benjamin Balderson:
You ate more shit. Get out of here.
[01:34:49] Steve :
They were like, oh, it's an American tourist, and he's pudgy. I bet he's got money. You know? And he's like, I serve homeless people, donated food for a living, and teach other people how to, like, basically set up those kitchens. I didn't have a Western Union traveler's check at all? Nothing on them? No no booty?
[01:35:12] allen marcus:
No treasure? No ransom? Not even a Ruby Ridge?
[01:35:19] Steve :
No. No, man. No. No. No smuggled diamonds bid, you know, smuggled the fucking Whitlam purse. No. Up your your prison purse. No. Nothing like that.
[01:35:37] allen marcus:
Still haven't seen uncut gems yet with, Adam Sandler. I have not seen the trailer for Happy Gilmore two, so please no spoilers. Wanna go into fresh, like, eat fresh, like Subway. I know Shooter McGavin is doing a campaign for Subway, eat fresh with Happy Gilmore meals.
[01:35:57] Benjamin Balderson:
Mhmm. Yeah. Like I said, outside, I I don't even really watch. I don't I can't even name five movies that have come out in the last five years I've watched. The Northman being one of them because, obviously, I had to watch that. And Eggers is freaking fantastic. I can't watch that witch movie he had, but maybe this werewolf coming out, one coming out. That which one, I couldn't even watch that. Just the trailers of that fucked me up.
[01:36:25] allen marcus:
Curious to see what Eggers is gonna do with the Labyrinth franchise.
[01:36:30] Steve :
Oh, I don't know, man. Gonna be really hard to well, like, the amount of trauma inflicted on the child actors along with, you know, all of the other people involved in that, I mean, you're gonna have to find some real psychos
[01:36:47] Benjamin Balderson:
to to capture the moment again. He he's talented. I believe he could do it. Although, no David Bowie singing. So probably, I it won't traumatize kids as much, but it wouldn't traumatize me as much. Because, unfortunately, my oldest daughter, who I love dearly, went through that you know, how kids go through that phase where they need to watch the same thing, over and over and over for about a year and a half. The labyrinth was was one of hers. And I I have despised David Bowie ever since, and I I I I hate that fucking movie. Hate it with a passion. My son even made me, like, quit liking, you know, that Jay and Silent Bob or whatever. That was pretty funny the first time or two you see it. But the twelfth, the fiftieth, the hundred and eightieth, I went out and did like that fucking the office where they stop that fax machine into the ground. I did that with that with that movie.
[01:37:50] allen marcus:
Yeah.
[01:37:51] Benjamin Balderson:
It's like, this will never get played in my house again.
[01:37:57] allen marcus:
Makes sense. I
[01:38:00] Benjamin Balderson:
understand. So I have traumas from the labyrinth.
[01:38:03] allen marcus:
Okay. Let's see if I can bring up some more trauma for you with your permission, with your consent. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. No. I'm done. I was dropping the screenshots for the YouTube stuff and, It's alright. No. It took me a while to find it. I got a lot of lot of lot of ducks not quite in a row. Okay. Cool. Because I got, like, four more to do. I was just just getting started. So It's alright. We'll just keep riffing back and forth. So, I noticed something, and I don't know if this is going to be, absolutely disturbing in, in a way that is unquantifiable or just absolutely hilarious. And I just wanna put it out there. I I was making possible controversial thumbnail art to garner some more attention. So I'm gonna put this up to see if this is, something we wanna use to promote the show.
[01:39:01] Benjamin Balderson:
The deliberating Oh my god. Oh my god. Ah, the controversy.
[01:39:07] allen marcus:
Right. It's it really has to do with the eyebrows. Right. The eyebrows. You see the the the similarity in the eyebrows? I do goblin king with, little taquito here. I call him Mikael taquito, a k a mind war.
[01:39:26] Benjamin Balderson:
And I definitely remember the eyebrows.
[01:39:28] allen marcus:
Yes. Very memorable. So here he is doing a Final Fantasy globe holding thing. I think it works with the brand. We kinda have the sadies nostalgia thing and, a little bit of a gothic lace dress. He's got a girl there. Okay.
[01:39:45] Benjamin Balderson:
That is not a pirate queen of the night. I'll tell you that.
[01:39:50] allen marcus:
No. It's not Cassandra Peterson. I'm not gonna identify the the name of the woman there. I think she had a fun goddamn night. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So
[01:40:02] Benjamin Balderson:
this is an action. Wondering what Steve's talking about. YouTube decided that, my videos were not me, and I'm reusing videos. And so they said it's not original content.
[01:40:17] allen marcus:
Like, hey. This is original content. It's never been seen before until now.
[01:40:22] Benjamin Balderson:
We we were hoping that we'd be asking you guys what kind of, emoji things and whatnot you wanted and whatnot. And instead, YouTube's like, no. Your stuff's not you. Mhmm.
[01:40:39] allen marcus:
It's like we're going up against the goblin king.
[01:40:42] Benjamin Balderson:
Yes. Yes. And they stole the bait. And I can't I can't imagine Marty Weeds is ever gonna show up California contrarian.
[01:40:54] allen marcus:
Marty Marty, you're welcome to join us. We're talking about controversial figures, and I guess you're a little bit of a controversial figure amongst our chat room here.
[01:41:09] Benjamin Balderson:
Can't enjoy. Yeah. That chicken shit ain't never gonna show up. I guess the company bunch of really weird shit.
[01:41:18] allen marcus:
So, you know, David Eggers, if you're looking for ideas about a labyrinth prequel sequel, spiritual sequel thing, here's some ideas. We're gonna keep the eyebrow thing because that's essential. It's true. Kind of the the hairstyle, it's it's part of the part of the Goblin King attire. We wanna make it a little bit pudgier and and more androgynous and maybe a less attractive way because David Bowie is too sexually confusing to too many young people with the, codpiece he had on. So we wanna loosen the clothes. We wanna just, loosen everything up a little bit. A little little bit more tasteful?
[01:41:56] Benjamin Balderson:
A little more tasteful. Copies was, like, the only redeeming quality at all. There was everything else I had a problem with. Mhmm.
[01:42:06] Steve :
Okay, Bulgazer. Okay. Alright.
[01:42:09] Benjamin Balderson:
Quit pretending like you don't want a fucking codpiece, Steve. Don't bullshit.
[01:42:14] Steve :
Alright, cockpawker.
[01:42:16] Benjamin Balderson:
You've watched you've watched Dune. You saw the glory of Sting coming out in a codpiece. Bro. You know who you wanted was that, Ben. That's true. Don't even fucking lie. I'm I'm not I'm not here to judge.
[01:42:29] Steve :
We're friends. You know? It's okay. But you don't have to drag me into your gay shenanigans. You don't. It's alright.
[01:42:38] Benjamin Balderson:
It's alright. You're the one with the, like, beer in a bath poster, bro. It's, you know This is good. This is coming from a guy that was drinking boba tea out of a fucking chai tea out of a fucking paper straw. Okay. So he's just trying to redeem
[01:42:52] Steve :
himself, and I feel great. Thank you.
[01:42:56] Benjamin Balderson:
I feel feel like three beverages are He's gonna he's gonna douche with, he's gonna douche with all natural oils later and have himself a fucking nice meditation.
[01:43:06] Steve :
I do have some cannabis oil that I was thinking about later. Yes. I do. I do.
[01:43:12] allen marcus:
That'll help you get to the labyrinth in under thirteen hours. Just slide right through. All greased up. No grapple. No grapple.
[01:43:26] Benjamin Balderson:
See, he knows what is going on. Cod pieces are totally metal.
[01:43:30] Steve :
Yeah. Yeah. Rob Halford metal. Mhmm. Absolutely. You're correct. You are. Spot on.
[01:43:39] Benjamin Balderson:
Spot on. I don't even know what the fuck you plan on doing in the apocalypse, Steve.
[01:43:47] allen marcus:
Polyester? Shit. Available fabrics?
[01:43:52] Steve :
Right. I I was I was thinking I was thinking more like like full length and kind of, like, bulletproofed and kitted out, like, leather duster. Right? Mhmm. You know, fairly wide brimmed hat, keep the sun off my eyes. Sure. Probably gonna break the only pair of sunglasses I have fairly early on. That's just my luck. So, you know, what wider wider brimmed hat. And then just as as many guns as I can collect. That was mostly the plan. Although, if I need to, you know, I can work on vehicles without a computer brain. Alright. Yeah.
[01:44:33] Benjamin Balderson:
Well, you saw the you saw the Mad Max mobile.
[01:44:36] Steve :
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Computer
[01:44:38] Benjamin Balderson:
on that monster. Yeah. It's just we we just gotta get we just gotta get a machine gun mounted to the back. And we're ready.
[01:44:50] Steve :
Yeah. And RIP Theo Huxtable, I saw that in the the chat.
[01:44:55] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. That's crazy. That dude's only a couple years older than I am. The least rapiest male Huxtable. Yeah. Yeah. Get the fuck out of here, you fucking douche. Zero reason for you to do that. Spookums. Damn it, Spookums. Oh, Spookums was being such a shit last night. My dad was laughing at me about it.
[01:45:24] allen marcus:
So what's the opposite of a scaredy cat? A cat that is so unafraid of anything.
[01:45:29] Steve :
Pain in the ass cat. Right. Fucking cat. Goddamn cat. Stupid fucking cat. Fucking goddamn it. Yeah. Yeah.
[01:45:40] Benjamin Balderson:
This is the best cat. This is this is cutest. She's the best cat. The other cat's all kind of a pain in the ass.
[01:45:51] Steve :
Well, I mean, no wonder, dude. You give the one cat that's the good cat. They're like, oh, you're the cutest. You're the best. You give that cat that name. They're like, oh, yeah. I'm gonna act like that. The other one, you give some racist ass name. I know it was Christie. I know it was. And her inherent racism. I know that. I'm not blaming you. Chad. You know? Chad. But and that cat is going to behave thusly. Okay? It's it's all the yeah. I I don't make the rules. I don't. Cat chat. Cat chat makes the rules. Cat chat. Is racism real?
[01:46:25] allen marcus:
Solve it right now in the chat.
[01:46:28] Benjamin Balderson:
My wife is the most casually racist person that's ever been. Like, innocently racist, though. It's not even Yeah. Yeah. She doesn't know what she's doing.
[01:46:37] Steve :
No fucking idea it's racist until some racist points it out. Yeah.
[01:46:42] Benjamin Balderson:
And this she's like and then she's just mortified. So, oh my god. Like Oh, okay. Regularly, this happens. It's hilarious. She's very uncultured. She hung out with Hollywood white people.
[01:47:02] allen marcus:
I was once called an uncultured swine, and I'm okay with that. If that individual Yeah. You wear a hat too. I I ironically. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's hard to wear hats with headphones, but I can put a hat on if that's gonna help.
[01:47:20] Benjamin Balderson:
Do you literally have the hat I was mentioning fucking sitting right next to you. That is wild.
[01:47:29] Steve :
He's, quick with the props.
[01:47:32] Benjamin Balderson:
Dude, I tried telling everybody he's got, like, a pocket universe right next to him. True. Do you have deliberating dog face dude shirt on,
[01:47:41] allen marcus:
dude? Yeah. Did you finally just notice that? Yes.
[01:47:45] Benjamin Balderson:
Are you well, I you've been so close to the camera. I have not seen that. That is a
[01:47:51] Steve :
fair point.
[01:47:53] allen marcus:
Alright. We do have shirts. Okay. I was here how's that for a tagline? Can you see that? Say sit, stay, stay what's real. Alright.
[01:48:03] Benjamin Balderson:
Yes. Nice. That's a winner. Very good. That's a winner. That's a winner. Nice.
[01:48:12] Steve :
Very nice. Do you want me to send that over to my merch dude?
[01:48:17] allen marcus:
It's a possibility.
[01:48:19] Steve :
Because I'm sure he'd throw it up on the website because the all I have to do is send him a design. It's a you know, like, if there's orders for shirts come in, he hits up the company in Texas that makes the actual shirts. They send him the shirts. He prints them and ships them off.
[01:48:38] allen marcus:
I'm like, you know what's that? Shirts.
[01:48:41] Steve :
Yeah. And all I have to do is send him a design, and he'll be like, oh, I'll put that up on the thing. Alright. Nice. Cool. By the way, they're third eye carnival hoodies for the Nashville event. If you were there and you want one, you should go get them because they're fucking awesome and they're $35 because we're not dicks. We're not fucking dicks about it. Our shirts are $16, dude.
[01:49:11] Benjamin Balderson:
Nice. Yeah. Dude, that's cheaper than I was getting, you know, seedless.
[01:49:19] Steve :
Uh-huh. Oh, yeah, dude. I I'm fucking Bloomington, Indiana.
[01:49:24] Benjamin Balderson:
Ben Yeah. I didn't yeah. Vendor for them, and they still didn't send sell me their shit that cheap. Yeah. No. I was surprised. I'm surprised that it was from Indiana when the dude was so dewy.
[01:49:41] Steve :
Well, they do have them there.
[01:49:46] Benjamin Balderson:
Back when seedless was cool before it was a decade California company.
[01:49:51] Steve :
Yeah. Well, you know, they they kinda had to bounce. And
[01:49:57] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. That's was also there back when they were putting, like, hidden compartments
[01:50:01] Steve :
in all their stuff. Yeah. I I owned a head shop there at the same time. Like, we talked weekly, if not, you know, almost on the daily there for a couple of years and fucking it it got hot for everybody. And fucking so the and Lucy in the chat and anybody else who happened to be in Bloomington, Indiana in the early nineties or visited or any shit like that mid nineties, there was a head shop that had been in Bloomington forever. It was called the Dharma Emporium, and it was owned by this piece of shit named Rick. And fucking, Fuck you, Rick. Fucking dude, he was a scumbag, like, creeping on all the fucking college girls who were trying on little hippie tops and stuff like that. And, yeah, dude, scumbag.
Anyway, there was, like, one other glass shop across town. I can't remember what it was, but it was like the, you know, the opposite where it was purely for custies and fucking frat boys and fucking, you know, sorority girls to buy high end fucking whatever. And so this dude, Steven Arthur, me, started a place called Magic Bus, and it got really hot in Bloomington. We helped a a couple of people own open up a second Magic Bus in Broad Ripple, which is neighborhood in Indianapolis. It was there forever. I don't know if it still is or not. And it was like the middle ground between that.
And there was a fucking coffee shop right in the back, like, smoothie shop and shit. It was adorable. That also did live music from time to time. And you could walk through from one to the other. And, yeah, dude, we we had seedless out the ass. We had glass blowers from all over the world, not just the same, like, four or five people that were in the other two jobs.
[01:52:21] Benjamin Balderson:
Very nice. Cool. Cool. Cool. But, yeah, Steve's current shirts are retail a bear retailing to you guys for a better deal, and I was getting wholesale on that shit. So
[01:52:36] allen marcus:
Mhmm.
[01:52:38] Steve :
Yeah. In 2025, you can't fucking beat it. You can't.
[01:52:44] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. I gotta send you them
[01:52:46] Steve :
Yeah. If there's a research MILF in your life, there's a research MILF shirt for that research MILF.
[01:52:58] allen marcus:
How how would I go about researching the MILF?
[01:53:05] Steve :
Watch the cinematic masterpiece American Pie.
[01:53:12] allen marcus:
Yeah. Oh, I think I've seen that. It's with the, cinematic Wow. What's her name? Shannon? What is what is her name?
[01:53:26] Steve :
I'm I actually don't know. Don't know. This is what I'm talking about. This is the the shirt. So blatantly Elizabeth. Blatantly ripping off the Santa Cruz Skateboard Company. Like, I was literally thinking that too. I'm like,
[01:53:47] Benjamin Balderson:
that that looks exactly like the Santa Cruz symbol.
[01:53:50] Steve :
Blatantly ripping it off because it's badass. That's why. It's iconic. And I was like, I need to do something that I could actually do, like, that could pass you know? I could throw it in fucking truck stops if I wanted to kind of thing. And so that was one of the ones. But It's good design. $15 for the tank top for the research in your life. If she's not worth $15, you're a piece of shit. Yeah.
[01:54:25] allen marcus:
Like the Walmart one.
[01:54:27] Steve :
We'll we'll get there. Ben, you'll dig this one. He Meyer's Bar and Grill.
[01:54:36] Benjamin Balderson:
That's what I'm talking about. Drink here, get plowed.
[01:54:40] Steve :
That's what I'm talking about. Yeah. That doesn't show up as well on the ground, but, yeah, He Meyer's Bar and Grill, Granby, Colorado. Drink here, get plowed.
[01:54:50] Benjamin Balderson:
Not all heroes wear capes.
[01:54:53] Steve :
He was a reasonable man.
[01:54:56] allen marcus:
Love Joe Lozar.
[01:55:02] Steve :
Yeah. Why Mart shirt? Because that's where we're living right now. It was in Waimardia, and it's it's burning $100 bills. Let's see what else we got. I don't know if anybody remembers the particular print of LSD, the Goony birds, but we have one of those.
[01:55:26] allen marcus:
The vans are cool. I like the van life. Oh, me too.
[01:55:33] Steve :
Don't trust the state. Beautiful. I wanted to I would've still wanna do, like, a whole fucking board of tourism style, you know, thing because I've got that one and then, you know, the high on life and some shrooms.
[01:55:51] allen marcus:
I can hear hear the eagle. The what the scorch or the what's that eagle sound that you hear? It's freedom. Free the sound of freedom. Okay. I I I was I I I said the thing, and then I thought of the Colbert Report. And I'm like, well, that guy is not on television anymore. Thank goodness. Freedom.
[01:56:12] Steve :
We got Bigfoot, aliens, a weed field. What more could you possibly want on the side of your kick ass van? Airbrush or on a big purple van. Right. Living the life. Except for possibly more aliens and more weed
[01:56:32] allen marcus:
because it's a stoner van. Is that the research mill fan?
[01:56:36] Steve :
It I mean, hey. Is that where the research happens? I I don't ask questions about something you do in the van. I don't. I don't.
[01:56:46] Benjamin Balderson:
My uncle in real life had a van like that, and he had heckle and Jekyll on the side. It was pretty fucking late. Bill Cooper on a pale horse. I have behold. Behold it.
[01:57:03] Steve :
Wow. I love that shirt. Shout out to Johnny Larson for design. OG. This is the the one that is the most popular on the store, also drawn by Johnny Larson.
[01:57:19] allen marcus:
Zero g. Is that talking no gravity? No grams? OG. Zero g. I mean, it could mean anything. Sam Tripoli version of that.
[01:57:28] Benjamin Balderson:
That's the that's my that was the shirt I got when I went and saw Sam Tripoli was the Sam Tripoli Unabomber shirt.
[01:57:36] Steve :
And then, yeah, that was the the Nashville third eye. Nice. Again. If anybody was there oh, it's $30. Holy shit, dude. What are you doing? That's cheap. What are you doing? Go get one.
[01:57:56] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Homie Romy bought me that, the Sam Tripoli one. We went to, see and saw Sam together. My wife and I and Don Anakidan and Homie Romy.
[01:58:08] Steve :
Mhmm. Quiet. Yeah. I'm doing my chicken. Joe. Sam does a good Joe.
[01:58:21] allen marcus:
When's his next show? Like, stand up? Yeah. Is he filming a special?
[01:58:30] Steve :
I mean
[01:58:31] Benjamin Balderson:
Just kinda touring the local places. Let's find out. Does he have a schedule on a website somewhere? No. He's been he's been hitting up a lot of big podcasts lately, so he probably does have something he's cooking up because he's I saw he was on with fucking he was on with fucking Andrew Wilson the other day
[01:58:49] Steve :
and Jake Rattlesnake. They like each other, though.
[01:58:53] allen marcus:
They they do. He was with Jamie Kennedy on the Jamie Kennedy experiment podcast experience.
[01:59:00] Steve :
Yeah. Also homies.
[01:59:02] allen marcus:
Cool.
[01:59:05] Steve :
Well okay. So, what, five nights in Kansas City, probably taping a special.
[01:59:13] Benjamin Balderson:
That is wild to me. Are you saying that he's friends with Jake or friends with Andrew?
[01:59:17] Steve :
Andrew.
[01:59:18] Benjamin Balderson:
That's kinda wild. Right? Because fucking historically, anyways, Sam was, like, full degenerate. Yeah. Full degenerate. Like, glorified the degeneracy. I I assume you put the ducks up. K. Thank you.
[01:59:35] allen marcus:
The, There is redemption. There's a redemption arc possibility. And Andrew is, you know, mister,
[01:59:41] Benjamin Balderson:
holier than thou and freaking, you know, preaching against degeneracy. Although I you know, a lot of that, I'm sure, is just an, you know, an act, his persona that he's put on that he almost can't fall out of at this point. Messi wants to quit soaking in them big bucks. He
[02:00:01] Steve :
said that. At this point, he could probably retire fairly comfortably staying, you know, in rural Michigan with the house paid off, property paid off, and shit like that.
[02:00:14] Benjamin Balderson:
That's what I'm talking about. That's what I do.
[02:00:17] Steve :
You know? Yeah. You don't you don't need to be a kajillionaire for that.
[02:00:23] Benjamin Balderson:
No. No. But if you wanna quit raking that in, I'm sure he has college kid kid college he'd like to pay for, new trucks, things like that. Funny how quickly money goes when you got it.
[02:00:36] Steve :
Right. Yeah. I agree. I agree.
[02:00:40] Benjamin Balderson:
You know? And especially, it it's funny how no matter how much money you're making, you seem to spend just that much, you know, on your lifestyle. Like, it you know, the person that's making, you know, $15 an hour has just as hard to you know, has just as hard a time putting money away as the person making $50 an hour. Like
[02:01:07] Steve :
Yep. Especially if you have kids. I'm checking. That's why that's why, like, you know, we could pretty much every dad has a picture of his kids in his wallet because it's where his money used to be. Yeah. Yeah. That's what's there instead. And you're like, oh, yeah. That's why. Alright.
[02:01:29] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Is there any
[02:01:30] allen marcus:
any guests in the back pocket that I've confirmed?
[02:01:33] Benjamin Balderson:
And the thing is to, to keep making that kind of money, you have to be a polarized figure. You can't be reasonable at all. Like, reasonable doesn't sell.
[02:01:44] allen marcus:
I've been trying to be unreasonable all night. Should I be more unreasonable? You know what? It was unreasonable the way you read Sweet Leaf. That was fucking unreasonable. That was unreasonable. That's yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I hope that's I hope that's clicked clipped and shared across the Internet, and it goes viral. And my my name is, and people go to my website and make fun of my hat that I wear on my own web page. And you're like, yay. Traffic,
[02:02:12] Steve :
bitch. Yep.
[02:02:18] Benjamin Balderson:
And, no, we, I I I've crossed swords some with Chase Haggard about the event or about the debate that we're gonna have. So that's the closest thing to a guest. I haven't I have been very busy the last couple weeks, with a lot of stuff. Some of it good, some of it not so good, going on. But, so I have not gotten around to digging up guests. So that one and and then also, I got heat stroke and beat up by my bowl right before that. So but we we were crossing swords, but they have yet to give a date. And they they wanna make the debate basically all legalese, which is what they do. And I said, I understand that that's the way you guys debate, and I'm okay with doing half the debate that at that. You know, we can all sit there and and argue about the meaning of a word, for half the debate. But the substantive the substantive part of the debate, the heart of the matter is also gonna get discussed. So we're not gonna sit there and play the logic game, which you guys don't even use logic correctly anyways.
Like, I understand you bully everybody else around about it, but you're full of shit with it for the most part. And you guys have built up such a heavy rhetoric rhetoric about it and then are able to bully so well, and it don't work. Like, I actually I just had it out with Jim Bob about in that vein the other day because, according to, Orthodox, the the laity, which means the layman, which is the common folk, are not meant to read the Bible alone. And so you have to have the clergy around. Well, that means you can't really read it. And because inside the word reading is this comprehension thing that has to happen. Otherwise, you're just looking at words. If you can't read, which means put that word into a comprehension and make that word mean something, then you're not actually reading. You're just looking at words. Chat participation opportunity. The word is laity.
[02:04:32] allen marcus:
Spell it in chat. Yeah. So First the first the show wins. Laity.
[02:04:40] Benjamin Balderson:
We had a big old argument and discussion about that, and then I got into into it with another ortho bro because, the Christians try saying that, there was no canonization at the council of Nicaea, that that's just a popularized thing because of Voltaire. But Saint Jerome, who's the saint of translating and recording in history, that guy said that they they decided which books were sacred scriptures. So, like, specifically, the book if his on his prelude to, the book Judith, which is considered canonical, that was made into a sacred scripture at the council in Isea. So that means they were canonizing books. So that means in the later, councils where they started arguing over which book should be taken out, that doesn't mean that there wasn't an original canon set. And Jerome, the most sainted celebrated historian and translator who had actual access to the information from the council, which has been lost since then. And if you look it up, the only thing that we can tell from what happened is from secondhand sources and then the things that changed in the religion because of it. So, but the actual records themselves gone.
But that guy got to see it, and this is what he said. So all these numb nuts fucking Christians today that wanna say stupid shit, they just start and and then they always blab out. Oh, it was Voltaire that said that. Voltaire said that and Voltaire, I believe, was being tongue in cheek with it, said that when they picked the books of the Bible at the council in ICA that they stacked them on a table and whichever ones fell off, those are the ones they threw out. So, basically, he was saying they willy nilly threw books out not by virtue of importance or significance or anything like that.
He wasn't actually saying that. I don't believe.
[02:06:55] allen marcus:
Right. I think, we got the spelling of laity correct in chat. Was it Windham Root who got it?
[02:07:04] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. I had to look that word up. And then I and then I just posted it right behind it because it says right in there as opposed to the clergy. It's like, oh, so the lady isn't supposed to read it. He's like, I never said that. Yeah. You did. Yeah. You did. It's a weird thing when you're arguing on x as opposed to in a debate where you can just screenshot and then just repost you. Yeah. You said it. Right there. And then tried to drag it into that weird semantical shit that they do, which I do understand that we have to both have an understanding of what the other person means because there is varying definitions because in today's world, people just makes up make up their own definitions, which is a lot of what ortho bros do.
But they they don't do it in order to clarify the situation. They do it to muddy the water.
[02:07:58] allen marcus:
Like the Labubu Pazuzu situation that's Labubu Pazuzu. Real money right now. Yeah. It it's a it's a, Abu Dhabi. What's that other place? Abu Ghraib, I think was the other spelling.
[02:08:12] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Yeah. It's it's a terrible thing. That's what I'm saying. This is the same type of bullshit that they do, and it's got no foundation to it. And and they have to play that game because then their entire world grounding comes out of their, lineage through their their what they claim is a unbroken lineage from the apostles.
[02:08:39] allen marcus:
And then they also talk about the living tradition, understanding the cultures change over time and things that remain the same, and they like the church fathers. So, like, the old stuff, you know, I go back to, like, nineteen nineties Christian music CCM. To me, that's the old stuff, but then people will show me, well, there was actually even older Christian music that existed before I was born so that we can go to the the history of gospel and that sort of thing. The ortho bros, hashtag, pejorative usage, and their rhetoric here.
The the problem I seem to have with them is they're not explaining to a blue collar, layman audience what the point of it is beyond the righteousness, beyond, you know, God said so. He's good. Follow him. This type of thing. Don't sin. Okay? Community, great. Fellowship, great. But beyond that, it's like you're selling me on orthodoxy, which is a flavor of Christianity to me. I mean, I I have my own flavors of Christianity. I'm familiar with I'm unfamiliar with orthodoxy. So if I could be made more familiar to feel more comfortable around orthodox people who won't tell me I'm a terrible person for my Protestant interests.
Because a lot of the argument that happens amongst the ortho bros is are against Catholics and Lutherans, and it's just flavors of Christianity arguing what flavor that they want to It's the one true church, and you can tell by the beards.
[02:10:37] Steve :
With the dresses and the tall hats and Right. Right. Yeah. Right. Right. So beyond that,
[02:10:45] allen marcus:
I'm and and then the other question I'm asking openly, this is an open letter, open question to all those who consider themselves to be orthodox. Do orthodox people create Orthodox art to influence culture outside of Orthodoxy, or does Orthodoxy just remain in its own sort of, like, they close the door, and now we're having Orthodox church, and we open the door, and we go out, and we're in the secular world. Like, do they try to influence their neighborhoods? Do they try to reach out? Do they have missions programs? Can anybody walk into an Orthodox church whenever there's an Orthodox service and be let in? Or do they have to have a secret handshake or a membership card or a pog or a pin or a hat or a costume or something? Is there a dress code? I mean, these are the types of practical questions I'd like to know because in my mind, ortho bros exist solely on Discord channels in the virtual cyberspace realm where they talk about orthodox topics and church father stuff while they're doing voice chats.
So is the community and the fellowship orthodoxy?
[02:12:00] Benjamin Balderson:
That is where you live though, Marcus.
[02:12:03] allen marcus:
Again, that's why super
[02:12:06] Benjamin Balderson:
a super protestant area.
[02:12:08] allen marcus:
Correct. So should I just go to the protestant church? Because that's the one in my community, or should I basically the way that gets to permanent. Yeah. Okay. So I should drive to California to go to an Orthodox church to become Orthodox.
[02:12:23] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. There's, like, three or four of them up in Eureka, and they definitely have events where other people can go to. They had one they had one the other, one time we were shopping at Winco, and they were having some big one, and it was kinda hilarious. They had some chick that sounded like Yoko Ono or something singing, like, kinda Latin music. I don't know. It was hard to tell. Like, it was like a cross at Yoko Ono and,
[02:12:51] allen marcus:
Fucking in Latin?
[02:12:55] Benjamin Balderson:
No. But she had a accent to where you couldn't really understand her English. So
[02:13:04] allen marcus:
So another question I have.
[02:13:06] Benjamin Balderson:
I wasn't sure how that coincided with, an accordion music and whatnot, coincided with,
[02:13:14] allen marcus:
orthodontist. Yeah. I don't know. Right. Again, you know, just quite just questions I have that would be great for conversation. I don't even know at this point if there's a debate happening because they're just like, you're you're asking dumb question. Well, I'm gonna ask dumb question because I don't know what a smart question is. So how how can we have a dialogue going back and forth to discover what a prompt might look like other than orthodoxy is the true version of Christianity, those who are not orthodox are just left for dead?
Is there a salvation gospel message to reach other people, or is it just like, we're in the boat, we're closing the door You're wrong. Join us, pussy.
[02:14:03] Steve :
These are just questions I have and I haven't had answers to. You're a stupid, dumb, gay retard. You should join our church, or else you're still a stupid, dumb, gay retard.
[02:14:14] Benjamin Balderson:
From the way I understand it, and and and I'm gonna say that this is because they're a bunch of kinda pussy little gamer boys like Andrew is where you can't open up a fucking olive jar. The the Orthodox church is drawing a bunch of men that want to be manly and fail miserably at it for the most part. Sure. And no women are going. Like, the the the Orthodox church is growing by leaps and bounds, but it's it's almost it's it's, like, 80% men that are joining it. And and like you said on this board, the reason they're all on this board, that's a video gamer's, platform Right. Where they video game and play video games with each other and shit. You're not being manly.
[02:15:02] allen marcus:
Sure. Like, I want to
[02:15:04] Benjamin Balderson:
man stuff. Work on your fucking car. Do some yard work. Fucking go out and chop a tree. I don't fucking know. Do something. Don't play video games. Cripe.
[02:15:18] allen marcus:
Just open questions, and you made a claim saying it's mostly men. That's an interesting claim. You could debate that. Is it for men only? Are are women allowed
[02:15:30] Benjamin Balderson:
in? I don't know. I think that's part that's that could also be part of why they call it ortho bros. It's only dudes. You don't see no chicks out preaching orthodoxy.
[02:15:41] Steve :
Well, they're they can't. They're the that's, like,
[02:15:45] Benjamin Balderson:
in a pretty strict tenant Well, they can't preach they can't preach, but they can talk about it. And the only chick I've ever seen talk about it is Andrew Wilson's wife. Right. And she does talk about it. So, obviously, it's allowed, but I I I think she is probably one of four people at that church that's a girl.
[02:16:06] Steve :
I mean, you're a girl. And she's married already? Mhmm.
[02:16:09] Benjamin Balderson:
Right. And she's already married. So, like, that one's off the table. Like, so it's just a bunch of dudes standing around holding each other's peckers talking about how they're the one they're the one true religion. Do Orthodox wives have to be on a table?
[02:16:28] allen marcus:
Is it an altar? Like, what is going because I've heard of, like, black gnostic masses where they have women behind veils on tables, and I'm like, you know, is that maybe I should just join the OTO at that point. I don't know if they have, like, a a fellows
[02:16:45] Steve :
section and, you know, a women's section. I don't know.
[02:16:51] allen marcus:
If you have felonies, are you allowed to be in also, bro? Do they do a background check?
[02:16:58] Benjamin Balderson:
I'm just wondering if you wanna be like a 60 year old pathetic person that nobody likes that can't even order a pizza.
[02:17:09] Steve :
I don't I don't understand the inside baseball on that. Yeah. It's, so so on Weaving Spiders,
[02:17:16] Benjamin Balderson:
webs, actually, I think it was on Weaving Spiders, the last episode of our last, Weaving Spiders Welcome. Yeah. The, there's a and this guy's been on History Channel the whole nine. They did whole whole shows about the guy. He was he was a bigwig in the OTO, and, Alan Greenfeld was his name. And so we do this show. Well, as soon as I start digging in, this guy don't know a fucking thing, which is exactly what I thought of these secret societies. These guys don't know anything. It's pathetic. They are basic, basic bitches. And then have so but the dude I'll give him, he took he took the hellfire, sat there and took it. I I flayed that dude, and then I just left. I was like, I can't do this no more. This is just gross.
Like, you're supposed and this guy was literally one of the heads of the OTO. And then after the show got off air, they're sitting around and the guy and Marcus and the guys are eating pizza, and the guy's like, wish I had pizza.
[02:18:22] allen marcus:
It's true story.
[02:18:23] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Can't order. I don't have enough money. I wish somebody would order me a pizza. Like, this dude was on history channel the whole night, and he can't order himself a pizza. And then he sat preach shit on a mainstream media.
[02:18:39] allen marcus:
On the the claim was he was doing sucks money magic.
[02:18:43] Benjamin Balderson:
So I got And then had a whole code. He has this whole cipher that is entirely on him. They did a whole series on it. What that was that called? Secret cipher of the.
[02:18:58] allen marcus:
Some cool stuff. I got I got a clip here. I can show you the video as proof. Just look at your face there. Just dealing with this. Steven, bring it up. Yeah. Just look at your face there. Look at, Greenfield's face. So you can you can see the wizard battle that happening in real time here. I was I was in my where's Waldo phase. I was finding my inner Waldo. Oh, fuck. So this is this is real. You can watch this. I obviously think what he's saying is intelligent. Batting his eyelashes a little bit trying to flirt with us.
[02:19:38] Steve :
You minks.
[02:19:40] allen marcus:
Yep.
[02:19:41] Benjamin Balderson:
Yep. Dude, and the worst part is, it it was hilarious. So I'm tearing this guy up. And then this this guy in the top center, it just loves Alan Greenfeld. Yeah. And fucking was fanboyed and everything. And this dude's like, oh, well, you're both alchemists. Let's talk about alchemy. And that dude got the biggest deer in the headlights look like.
[02:20:04] allen marcus:
Oh, fuck. Yes. The topic the topic is alchemy. Let's discuss the magical uses of alchemy. Yeah. And it became a psychology thing. I'm I'm just excuse me. We wanna talk about lab work.
[02:20:20] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. And he's a youngian alchemist. You mean psychology?
[02:20:24] allen marcus:
We're not sitting on a couch. We're not laying on a laissez faire. What what do you call it? Le's challenge? Le's what's the French word for the A chaise lounge. A chaise, Haggard, ortho bro lounge. Just laying it all out there. That's what we're doing. And he wanted to talk Jungian, Alchem Carl Jung. And I'm like, well, we've talked about Carl Jung before. Let's talk about the blackening phase of the alchemical process
[02:20:54] Steve :
in a lab setting. Why is it gotta be a racial thing? Well, because
[02:20:59] allen marcus:
we were getting to the races, the root races. Off to the off to the races? We're off to the root races. Yeah. Mhmm.
[02:21:07] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Barsky was special. Yeah. He was. And, yeah, he was impressed because this guy was on History Channel and everything else. So he was trying to trying to play mediator, but me and, this guy did not get along at all, and the guy was full of shit. And and he even said in that interview that he had so his book that got published Mhmm. The only reason that that piece of shit got published was because another dude that wanted to become, you know, level up or whatever in the OTO, he's told that guy, you're not gonna get your promotion unless my book gets published. Straight up. And so that dude who, whether he deserved the promotion or not, got the promotion, and this dude, whether the book was worth it, got it printed.
You know? And and this is how their shit works, which is what I've been saying for a long time that everybody else and this is especially in the truth or community. They act like the heads of these secret societies are like these have all these mystical secrets. I don't think they do. I think that they good old boy themselves out of knowing a fucking thing.
[02:22:20] allen marcus:
Yep. The book is called The Grail Within, and I wanted to ask specifically, you know, what does that mean? The Grail Within. That's a provocative title for a book. Is it about alchemy, or is there something mixed inside the cup? Black, red, white? What what's going on in that cup? And then we got silly stories.
[02:22:42] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. And then we Silly stories and silly songs.
[02:22:46] allen marcus:
Yeah.
[02:22:47] Steve :
He's a lot of talk to me.
[02:22:52] allen marcus:
So that was the that was the Shaggy Dog story roundabout way to discuss how after a live stream, certain guests are getting pizzas ordered and DoorDash's food delivered to them and others aren't. And then when they look at us with sad puppy dog, I used to say, I hung out with you guys. Can you order me some food?
[02:23:12] Benjamin Balderson:
And we're just dumbasses doing a podcast, and he's mister super famous, head of the head of the OTO.
[02:23:18] allen marcus:
Yeah. Well, I guess we should have put in the contract. No DoorDash, no Domino's, no pizza deliveries in the contract.
[02:23:28] Benjamin Balderson:
Dude, the guy the guy straight up was like a complete libtard man. Straight up a complete libtard. He wanted to bang on about how evil Russia was and how and this was at toward the beginning of the whole Ukraine conflict thing. And the dude's banging on about how evil, Putin is and blah blah, which I mean, number one, you're in a truth to the room, dude, and and and we're not new. So number one, we realized that the entire thing's a play. Now inside of that play, they've set Russia up to be the moral high ground over everybody else for for quite a few years now. And and so and this started with, like, Putin doing things like be getting rid of all the GMOs in the country, giving his people farms to go and try and, grow organic, kicking the kicking the, World Bank out of the country and, returning the monetary system to a nationalized system.
Doing all the things we dream of doing that a good moral leader would do. Somehow, Putin's doing it, and then and then The United States is getting set up as the the the one to take the fall. We're the dirty evil ones. Sure. And it's all just a play, but this guy's fully buying it. It's like and then saying Russia started a war when you can easily find fucking, video of of at the time, senator Biden, stating that f the entire treaty of upon the breakup of the USSR was that NATO never enters the Baltic States. And so reporters were asking, they're like, how do you know that Russia won't go to war with us? And he's like, listen. This treaty is solid. As long as NATO never enters the Baltic States, Russia will not do anything. And Russia did nothing to any of us, and all of a sudden, NATO's in the Baltic States and Russia's go and Russia's going to war. Well, we knew that was gonna happen. That's the way treaties work is is you don't do this thing, we won't do this thing, and we won't fight.
[02:25:47] allen marcus:
That's fair. I mean, none of that was on, the docket. We weren't planning to discuss geopolitics at all. No. That was him. Just got brought up. We wanted to talk about his appearance in the show Hellier. We wanna talk about goblins and caves and magic is the one that I'm talking about. Right? Yeah. Hellier does feature the, secret site for the euphonaut towards the end. He did show us the cool chair he sat on. He wore the same shirt that he was in the Hellier thing. So, I mean, again, had some interesting areas of knowledge and then volunteered to go out of his wheelhouse a little bit.
And, it was it was not a good not a good look, but we could have talked about the history view euphenauts, euphenology.
[02:26:38] Benjamin Balderson:
By knowledge, Marcus, means a bunch of dumb made up shit.
[02:26:43] allen marcus:
Mhmm. Knowledge of UFOs and the history of UFO conventions. So there's, American tradition of, like, Area 51. Okay. Well, what happened after Area 51? The idea of the flying saucer. That sort of thing became, like, a historical thing, and people would clip newspaper clippings, and they go to conventions and share their fanzines and newspaper clippings and talk, oh, what do you think the government's doing, and what do you think the, the secret aircraft is and anti gravitics and, like, the bell from Germany and, you know, project paperclip and all this sort of, like, x files nineteen nineties conspiracy stuff. That's interesting. We could talk to him about what was it like, you know, in the late eighties, early nineties. What was it like before the x files came out? What were people talking about in terms of little green men? And how do little green men connect to goblins, connect to abductions, connect to caves, and connect to Ordo Templi Orientis, Aleister Crowley, the entity known as l a m Lam, Jack Parsons, Rocketry, Sex Magic, Rockets, this type of thing.
[02:27:55] Benjamin Balderson:
It's always sex magic. Right? All them fucking cult all them groups and cults. It's always sex magic. There's there's there's no other magic, just sex magic.
[02:28:05] Steve :
It all comes down to, you know, cocks or balls.
[02:28:09] Benjamin Balderson:
Either way. Hey. Listen. Listen. Listen. The the spirit told me I'm supposed to bang your old lady. Right? I don't wanna I don't wanna. It's not me. Don't why are you looking at me like that? Why why are you looking at me like that? Doggy.
[02:28:26] Steve :
Mhmm. How far we go back? You know I don't wanna do this. Yeah. But God said that, you know, Shirley's gotta come through about seven 07:30.
[02:28:38] allen marcus:
The disembodied voice doesn't have a body,
[02:28:42] Steve :
but I have a body. And you're God also said that I should go out and buy some lingerie for her. That she should be wearing it when she comes through. That helps. Why are you even questioning
[02:28:57] Benjamin Balderson:
shit. Why are you even acting like I would make something like this? So on the tablets that only I can read.
[02:29:04] Steve :
Yeah.
[02:29:06] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. What? Do I need, like, a magic hat with some stones in the bottom before you believe me? I
[02:29:12] Steve :
because as a matter of fact, I was out communing with God as I do, and I, you know, was received a gift
[02:29:22] allen marcus:
from God. It's a bedazzled hat. From God? Did God gift you a bedazzled hat?
[02:29:29] Steve :
As as a matter of fact, yes. But only your wife can see it. So you have to send her by, and she'll let you know.
[02:29:39] allen marcus:
I understand. Okay.
[02:29:41] Benjamin Balderson:
It's not on me.
[02:29:43] Unknown:
Right.
[02:29:46] Benjamin Balderson:
I didn't make the rules. I'm just following them like you are. Yeah. Yeah.
[02:29:52] allen marcus:
Do you need to know any, like, psych cyclical information, any calendrics here? Do we need to compare cycles and calendars and moons and menstruations and things, or are you just ready whenever? I mean, is there a magical timing involved?
[02:30:07] Benjamin Balderson:
You'd have to ask the spirits.
[02:30:09] allen marcus:
Well, I mean, the the grail within, I wanna understand that, magical working a little bit better.
[02:30:16] Benjamin Balderson:
I I don't imagine that Alan Greenfeld is gonna come on deliberating dog faced dudes.
[02:30:22] allen marcus:
He might.
[02:30:24] Benjamin Balderson:
He might. I would invited. The dude sat there while I made him look like a complete jackass, and he took it and then hung out after. I didn't hang out after. Dresser
[02:30:35] allen marcus:
sometimes. He plays adjuster sometimes. He's kind of a Look at this cat with funny uncle.
[02:30:41] Benjamin Balderson:
This cat has got the longest ear hair ever. I mean, he looks like Scar from the from the Lion King. That's why I call him Scar.
[02:30:50] allen marcus:
Ear hair.
[02:30:52] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Like, old man, ear hair. Like like So could you just,
[02:30:56] allen marcus:
like, blow a little a stream of air over those ear hairs and see what happens?
[02:31:03] Benjamin Balderson:
He he leaned into it. He's like, oh,
[02:31:06] allen marcus:
I like the warm air. Some some cats will do, like, the they'll shake their head real Yeah. Real rough.
[02:31:16] Benjamin Balderson:
Okay. My dogs get so mad when you do that. And then the the worst thing you could ever do, and I've noticed this with all pit bulls, is is do a raspberry on their stomach. Oh, fuck. Oh, they will lose their shit. Angry. Angry. Christy used to do that to Debbie. Oh, man. Oh, she would get up and she'd look at Christy just like, and then she go, woah. Like, don't do that shit. Like, she was just mad. But all of Scotty, our our mom and dog now, she will run away and go hide. And if you find her, she's just sitting there shaking. Like, like, just crazy reactions to raspberries.
[02:32:05] Steve :
That's wild. Raspberries. Who knew?
[02:32:08] Benjamin Balderson:
Look at this weird shit. So this cat, see how it has all the ears, but look at it. He has no whiskers, basically. Mhmm. Because Rhea sits and chews the whiskers off all the other animals.
[02:32:18] Steve :
Okay.
[02:32:20] Benjamin Balderson:
And they let her do it.
[02:32:22] Steve :
Like, okay. Go ahead. Give me a trim. She's like, I'm the only one that gets extra antennae.
[02:32:28] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Yeah. She choose the other dogs too. She sits and chews the whiskers off all the other animals.
[02:32:35] allen marcus:
We're a no whisker trim podcast.
[02:32:38] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Yeah. We we don't have that issue.
[02:32:41] allen marcus:
No trim. Let it grow. All natural.
[02:32:45] Benjamin Balderson:
What you want? What you what you what you want? What you want?
[02:32:52] allen marcus:
Chat figure out the, the racism issue. Get that solved yet. Check-in with the cat chat.
[02:33:02] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Pitbulls are the best. It's true. They're the best. They're just big babies. I got a I got a most excellent video, like, a week ago of Tyr and this little tiny, tiny kitten. He's just cleaning it up, and the kitten just hanging out with him. They all loved here. He's this giant meathead of a pit bull, and freaking the kittens love him.
[02:33:30] allen marcus:
Oh, we got some, chatters talking about their pets. They like the feetsies and the kittens. Could you put bull faces?
[02:33:46] Benjamin Balderson:
Yes. He might come on. He had the balls to stay through the through the fire. He might. That guy's not I'll give him that. He's got more nuts than ortho bros.
[02:34:00] allen marcus:
He is a bishop.
[02:34:02] Benjamin Balderson:
And the o they have religious names in the OTO?
[02:34:06] allen marcus:
Bishop.
[02:34:07] Benjamin Balderson:
High star.
[02:34:08] allen marcus:
Yep.
[02:34:09] Benjamin Balderson:
I don't need to be the Don't do.
[02:34:16] Steve :
What's his cat? I I'd like to bring him bring him back.
[02:34:20] Benjamin Balderson:
Angel. It's one eyed.
[02:34:25] Steve :
Totally malnourished. Only you can save this kitten.
[02:34:29] Benjamin Balderson:
K. For the for the cost of one Starbucks coffee a day, you could you could save this cat Get an eye dropper. For being for being used as a prop by me. Oh, some sad stuff makes you feel bad.
[02:34:51] allen marcus:
So do we have some, brick stock? That's Brazil, Russia, India, and China. One more time? Sorry. Is it Brazil, Russia, India, and China in the BRICS group? I I'd like to ask Alan Alan Greenfield to join us in talking about financial systems in Russia. And and and how UFOs are affecting the quantum
[02:35:26] Benjamin Balderson:
currencies that are unruly Well, my my guess is is that he would shit all over the the ruble, which is not valued particularly well right now, but Russia was very well aware that that was gonna happen when they paid off the World Bank. But I'm guessing that's the route he's gonna take is that Russia's basically or rubles basically the same as a peso or something.
[02:35:51] Steve :
I mean, it it's there's a fuck ton of American money that flows in there, though, and still flows around there. And, like, the their oligarchy really didn't take too big of a hit. Like, they got some money confiscated that they had they hadn't yanked out of, you know, US banks or some, you know, more US government friendly spots in The Caymans or something like that, but they never talked about the fucking, Isle Of Isle Of White money. They never talked about fucking places like in China that they had it parked or in Macau Macau and fucking you know? You ain't touching nothing in China. Yeah. Like, the the it's it's not like the Russians were dumb enough to park all of their money in western banks, you know, At the same or, you know, European banks. At the same time, they had stuff there for sure because that's confiscated. They can gave it to fucking Ukraine, turned it into fucking Zelensky coke.
[02:37:03] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah.
[02:37:04] Steve :
And he's like, oh, they won't be pissed. You know, confiscated a few yacht and shit like that.
[02:37:12] Benjamin Balderson:
Made a show. Made a show. We pretend like we're the biggest economy, but the Western world is small compared to the Indian Indian world and the the Chinese world. Mhmm.
[02:37:26] Steve :
And yeah. Yeah. No. The I mean, all of the BRICS nations have, like, a digital currency program going, and it's all gonna be processed on the back end as a CBDC if it's not outright issued as one. And then Trump is, you know, just signed the genius act, which is anything but. And, it's the the pathway to stable coin, which will get processed on the back end as a CBDC.
[02:38:00] Benjamin Balderson:
See, this is why this is why these geniuses like Rob nor won't debate Steve. Gotta add him to the list of debate skippers.
[02:38:09] Steve :
And then and, yeah, Derek Bros was on AM wake up this morning. He just, he had published an excellent article, through TLav, this morning about how Mexico is going full biometric ID, and that's going to include for use of cell phone. Mhmm. All kinds of shit. Internet access. Oh, you wanna learn anything? Mexico, Derek said, is still, like, 40 something percent rule. Like like, rule. Rule. You know? They're just not gonna fucking go for it. Right. They're not. And the cartels rely on
[02:39:02] Benjamin Balderson:
degrees of energy. Cartel got way too much influence down there, and they rely on that cash monies.
[02:39:08] Steve :
Yeah. Not just cash money, but the anonymity that, like because you could Derek was saying you can walk into any fucking corner store and buy a SIM card and throw it in a phone, and now you have, you know, Internet access. You had a phone. And so there's people that have, like, SIM cards stacked and shit, but if you make them scan a fucking eyeball or give a fingerprint or whatever Now it's tied to you. Now now it's definitely tied to you. That, yeah, that totally kills burner phones, don't it? Mhmm.
[02:39:41] Benjamin Balderson:
I mean, we don't do the SIM card thing in America, but Mhmm. You know, back in the day before cannabis was legal, you fucking basically once a week went in and got a Walmart phone at the end of the week to chuck that fucking thing. Right.
[02:39:55] Steve :
Right. Like, after I know you're tracking the TracFone, but it takes you twenty one days to get a fucking turnaround on a fucking warrant for this particular number even if you know it's me. So by the time you fucking get on this number, I'm a have a new one, bitch. But I don't give
[02:40:16] allen marcus:
I just wanted a Rumble account to chat with, and I need a burner phone number to have a Rumble account just to say naughty words in a Rumble chat. Yeah. And then if Rumble's like Hey, Rumble chat. No more. No more. Then I gotta go get another phone number to make a new Rumble account.
[02:40:33] Benjamin Balderson:
Mhmm. We're sorry. Streamyard doesn't stream Rumble. We don't get to see your comments. I as they love it. Do. The
[02:40:40] allen marcus:
Rumble has the most best behaved chatters. I don't, apparently.
[02:40:44] Steve :
I don't All you have to do are you on a phone?
[02:40:49] Benjamin Balderson:
No. On my computer, and it's only on dog face dudes. When we do this show, any other fucking show I go on, I can see the chat on the side. On this one specifically, the only thing available to me is studio chat three year. Yeah. Yeah. You want me to take a picture of it? I mean,
[02:41:08] Steve :
sure. Because I already put a bunch of script. Well, I get I think the I don't think the chat was up, but
[02:41:15] Benjamin Balderson:
yeah. Yeah. Because I've never even seen this screen before it started doing doing this to me on the show. Mhmm. And it's only on our show that this that this happens. And you could see that there's not even a spot for me to open up the the, regular chat. Alright. So we're not ignoring Weird. Right? It's just we have to Like, even when I guess on, like, Sarah Tomato show or any other show like that, I can see the whole chat.
[02:41:52] allen marcus:
I've never heard goat whore play. Goat horse? Yeah. Do they have a music video? So check for that. There's a lot of new music. Yeah. Yeah. Try to keep a list of new bands to listen to. All the musicians I love so much keep, dying, so I have to find living musicians to listen to.
[02:42:28] Steve :
Got you.
[02:42:29] Unknown:
Mhmm.
[02:42:33] Benjamin Balderson:
You wanna go yell at Bella, please?
[02:42:38] allen marcus:
There's some ladies called the wet leg.
[02:42:41] Benjamin Balderson:
Kittens' ears are cute. You're gonna make you're gonna dance dance monkey dance.
[02:42:45] allen marcus:
Right? Right? Right? Right? Now comedian of the black. Oh, it's Mexican metal? Cupacabra metal.
[02:42:59] Benjamin Balderson:
Isn't that supposed to be Lucifer's sigil above its head?
[02:43:05] allen marcus:
That appears to be a haunting curse. I like that. You know, I'm gonna start a new ministry to metal singers where I I give them Rico loves, and I teach them how to do water dances on their throats. Oh. Because I want I want them to have a long and prosperous career, but I I worry about some of these young singers really straining their Cookie Monster vocals.
[02:43:39] Benjamin Balderson:
Right. There's a way to do it. I can't believe nobody's gotten a hold of the recall of people yet for you. Right? But, man, you know,
[02:43:48] allen marcus:
it's, it's getting closer and closer. There's a one song I quite like here. Let me see if I load it. Bubba, quit chasing the other animals. They don't like it. Just keep filling up notebooks filled with information here. Oh. Just sing just sing a song. Let's see.
[02:44:11] Benjamin Balderson:
Get out of your bummers.
[02:44:14] Unknown:
Are you bummers?
[02:44:17] allen marcus:
Did you hear this one?
[02:44:29] Steve :
She's saying Sounds like a anime soundtrack.
[02:44:32] allen marcus:
It's you know, I'm looking for new gothic music that's my gothic person. Real dark. A lot of dark you got to be.
[02:44:41] Benjamin Balderson:
This is saintly fire. Breast smells like poop. Yeah.
[02:44:46] allen marcus:
I like I like her song. It's very catchy. That was are trying to steal my blood on a Saturday night. Maybe Those are called girls, Marcus. They're called girls. Maybe we could get a Tuesday night version of the song instead. Now vampires are trying to steal my blood on a Tuesday night.
[02:45:12] Benjamin Balderson:
Oh, is that by typo negative?
[02:45:15] Steve :
Mhmm.
[02:45:18] allen marcus:
Is it my girlfriend's girlfriend? Now now we're back on topic of the header heterofatalism. What would Peter Steele say about heterofatalist women?
[02:45:35] Benjamin Balderson:
I don't think that that's a problem. I think that, Not for Peter Thiel at any rate. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely not for Peter Thiel. It's not. You you don't like It's not for Peter Steele either. Okay. But all lesbians want is a strong man and and even Cheney, if she would have showed up Cheney, she says that flat out. She says most lesbians are just looking for somebody strong, and the men are so damn weak that that a lesbian woman half the time is the strongest person around. It's like if there's an actual strong man around, they change their mind right quick.
[02:46:10] Steve :
I mean, if the domestic violent rates in, you know, lesbian marriages have anything to say about that. They they definitely found the strong man in the relationship.
[02:46:23] allen marcus:
Good. It's awful. It was it was such short notice to find anyone from the heterofatalism camp to to explain and defend their position, but I have a quote here that Jojo Siwa. That's right. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Jojo Siwa, her her husband said something about the marriage. She calls his testicles Timmy and Jimmy. That
[02:46:48] Benjamin Balderson:
was has I Do you have names for my testicles? No. I do not. Oh, that's good. If if you were gonna, Timmy and Jimmy would not be acceptable. They would have to be something better, like like Magnus and and, you know, something like that.
[02:47:05] allen marcus:
So it's all about this the the realness of the phallus. So, lots of words here. It says, it seems that the heterofatalism that was all the rage a few years ago and the rebranded political lesbianism of the four b movement that's getting popular today are two sides of the same reified phallic coin. Like turfism, capital t e r f,
[02:47:34] Benjamin Balderson:
there's a bit of overlap. Both uphold the fantasy of the Those are the ones that those are the ones that are, like, feminist, but also don't like trannies.
[02:47:43] Steve :
Mhmm.
[02:47:44] allen marcus:
Yeah. Trans exclusionary radical feminism.
[02:47:48] Steve :
The the JK Rowling's,
[02:47:50] Benjamin Balderson:
if you will. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
[02:47:53] allen marcus:
So they both uphold the fantasy of the realness of the foulest that patriarchy isn't a social construction, but arises from some essentially dominating and powerful substance that lives in the balls and can't be stopped.
[02:48:09] Benjamin Balderson:
It's called testosterone. Yeah. It's not a magical substance. It's called testosterone.
[02:48:16] allen marcus:
It's a real substance?
[02:48:18] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah.
[02:48:20] allen marcus:
And it's stored in the balls?
[02:48:22] Benjamin Balderson:
And it is a mad beast. I understand that it's a lot of, a lot of weight is put on the hormonal things that women have to deal with, but testosterone is a mad beast and nobody ever wants to talk about that. Like, it takes you a lot of years to learn to control that shit.
[02:48:44] allen marcus:
Well, that's part of the, quote that says men's struggle to communicate in romantic relationships is widespread enough to have earned a psychological designation. They call this normative male Alexith Smith.
[02:49:00] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Oh, the condition being unable to work. Too many dudes are fucking pussified, and that's all they do is talk. That's why they that's why the girls aren't aren't freaking they're turning lesbian because they don't wanna be they don't get away from my keyboard, Scar. I'm like, all of you fuckers do this shit. They don't want a dude to sit there and do all that shit that they said that they want. Grabs him by the fucking hips, picks him up in the air, pins him up against the wall, and just goes. Is that part of the way? That other shit. They don't want it to be snoozed.
[02:49:36] allen marcus:
There's a female demand, male withdraw pattern she notes that women approach the man to discuss something and the man removes himself from the room.
[02:49:47] Benjamin Balderson:
Well, it depends on what they wanna discuss, I suppose.
[02:49:50] allen marcus:
The relationship. Yeah. Then then you're probably gonna There's a phase in every relationship where the relationship needs to be defined. And for better or worse, once you begin to define a relationship No. Some people leave and some people stay. And if both people leave, then there's no one in the room. If one person leaves and it's not a relationship If she wants to have Nancy talk, she has girlfriends for that. Nancy talk.
[02:50:23] Benjamin Balderson:
Got it. What if she does that? Best friend when she wants to do her Nancy talk, she does that with her best friend. Mhmm.
[02:50:32] allen marcus:
So the biggest criticism of this article, which was published in the New Yorker Weekly, I think, some New York magazine. A woman living in a city, dating all kinds of men, divorced her husband, fell in love with a guy who was already married, had all these confusing feelings about her feelings, and then decides that it would just be easier if she was attracted to women only. Because she's obviously been smart this whole time.
[02:51:00] Benjamin Balderson:
Obviously, you should take advice from this fucking hooker.
[02:51:04] allen marcus:
Yes. That was that was the comment stating that the author of the article did not disclose her own shortcomings.
[02:51:12] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Severe shortcomings. You fucking left your husband. You fucking because we can be pretty sure you're the one who left because you were unhappy. You were unfulfilled. And then fucking even though it was a perfectly good relationship because you got no fucking loyalty, and you didn't care about anybody else's loyalty either because then you went and broke another home up. Definitely shouldn't be taking any advice from you.
[02:51:40] allen marcus:
And her her radical honesty leads her to write this article describing how she has always seek fulfillment in a male figure, and she absolutely hates this quality about herself.
[02:51:56] Benjamin Balderson:
That's called biological drive. Guess what, Dom Con? We also seek fulfillment in women. It's a weird thing. We find mutual fulfillment in each other. That's the whole benefit to this deal, dummy. Mhmm.
[02:52:20] Steve :
Yeah.
[02:52:21] allen marcus:
Yep. So that was the big that was the big keyword this week. Last week, it was Labooboo dolls. This week, it's hetero what was the word? Formative. Had to listen to some crazy broad talk about Labooboo Pazuzu, no squads.
[02:52:36] Benjamin Balderson:
And and that was a lot of times when talking about how how she'd rather be a lesbian, but she's not attracted to women because she's can't make worth a shit decisions or be worth a shit as a person. Because, obviously, you're not worth a shit. You rolled out on your husband and then broke up another relationship. You're not a good person. What kind of dudes do you expect to attract? Like, a good solid dude that's ready to build a future and a relay a future with a partner. You're failing that interview, lady. Your job history sucks.
[02:53:11] allen marcus:
I thought she was a bad person because she's a New Yorker, and all New Yorkers are bad people. Also fair.
[02:53:18] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Valid. Valid.
[02:53:23] allen marcus:
Minneapolis, Saint Paul, Chicago. Any people who live in urban areas?
[02:53:28] Benjamin Balderson:
Terrible places. You can't even go into the nursing field. That's some weird shit. They're all they but the but the thing is is I think you're white, Ryan, so I think you're safe.
[02:53:41] allen marcus:
White male nurses?
[02:53:42] Benjamin Balderson:
No. The the the the horrifying pill popping complete narcissistic people that seem to flood the nursing field. They don't usually date white guys, so I don't I think you'd be alright.
[02:54:04] Steve :
Yeah. I know. Man. We have mostly, like, Filipinos and Mexicans and Guatemalans as nurses down here. Do women date bishops? Nothing. They don't like pop bills or you know, but most of them are actually pretty chill.
[02:54:22] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. Not not the pretty neat. Not the ones, like, up in the Midwest and all them other places where it's all white girls doing it. Right. And and I and and and love love sees no color, but they don't date white guys. I promise you that. Yeah. So would you guys be really upset with me if I release this podcast under the branding Nancy Talk? Nancy Talk? Well, I don't know. Is it gonna be original content, Marcus? Right. I I will making content. So I I will make good original NancyTalk content.
[02:54:59] allen marcus:
Yeah. We will we will make original NancyTalk episodes. For Nancy Boys and Nancy Campbell.
[02:55:07] Benjamin Balderson:
Mike Myers. Sprockets. We we got Sprockets.
[02:55:12] allen marcus:
The the German talk. My monkey. Yeah.
[02:55:22] Steve :
Yeah. You know that last point, don't you? In hindsight, that was pretty creepy because he'd always be like, I'm as happy as a little girl. Yeah. And he'd like Mhmm. You know, poke nips out. Like, buddy. Buddy.
[02:55:36] allen marcus:
So the the theme of the the male nipple continues. Is it a useful thing or a useless thing? Why did God give me little nipples?
[02:55:50] Benjamin Balderson:
One would presume little nipples. One would presume that before that differentiation takes place, the sex differentiation that that, portion is already to some degree developed.
[02:56:04] Steve :
Because God didn't want you to look like a Ken
[02:56:07] Benjamin Balderson:
doll. Yeah.
[02:56:09] allen marcus:
God gave me nipples to be twisted.
[02:56:12] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. He he knew that the timid grappler would have nothing to grapple if you had no nipples. It's a good lord. Little kinky. Yeah. Well, you know, I've heard Fred you know, Crowley says that. He says that. They wanna see some weird shit. I mean
[02:56:32] allen marcus:
Crowley was just telling the truth, and they called him the wickedest man ever. Do we wanna have a Alastair Crowley debate? Because I've tried. God knows I've tried to get Thelemites to talk to us.
[02:56:48] Benjamin Balderson:
And and it's head at your shoulder level, Ryan.
[02:56:54] allen marcus:
Shoulder level head?
[02:56:57] Benjamin Balderson:
This is the talking about head and strippers and shoulders. I I don't know. He's he's very confused about the way that works. Off topic for Nancy talk. Well, there's no sex in the champagne room. We all know that. No Actually, there is cork's getting popped?
[02:57:18] allen marcus:
Papa cork? Papa Smurf? Is there a new Smurf movie? I saw Jason Momoa's in a new movie. He's the chief, not the chief. The chief of a Hawaiian is he still working? He's got feathers on. It's on Apple plus.
[02:57:38] Benjamin Balderson:
Do I have to be the TV guide? Are they even doing trying to do movies in movie theaters anymore?
[02:57:45] allen marcus:
Tron three Ares. Yes. In theaters, I think, September. No spoilers, please. I haven't seen f one yet.
[02:57:55] Steve :
I mean, they just did that whole Superman movie thing. It crushed, like, a weekend or two ago. Dude, they had Did it? Superman, Standys, and the Hardys.
[02:58:04] allen marcus:
They were advertising that thing everywhere over fourth of July weekend, America, Americana, red, white, and blue. America. Superstar, Superman.
[02:58:13] Benjamin Balderson:
Yep. That's gotta be the first time a Superman movie is particularly crushed. I mean, the Henry Cavill Supermans did well, but the original Supermans, they did really poorly.
[02:58:24] allen marcus:
Mhmm. I imagine there's an audience that had never seen Superman before, so they went and saw it for the first time.
[02:58:32] Steve :
Right. They forgot how really, really, really bad Christopher Reeve was.
[02:58:39] allen marcus:
I I oh, man. Now I have to bring out my prepared statement on the Jewishness question of superheroes. And if Christians should watch Jewish superheroes stories. You have a prepared statement for this. Nice. Nice. But I've got, like, paperwork everywhere. So it's I mean, it's prepared, but it's not, like, prepared prepared. You know what I'm saying? His props are in order. His paperwork, not so much. No. I need more secretaries.
[02:59:07] Benjamin Balderson:
I was actually weirdly watching a clip of that of fucking that or of the was it Superman two where he fights Zod? And, yeah, the special effects from them were so bad. So bad they had the three bad guys flying, and Lois Lane was on the back of the one, and they, you know, she, like, slipped off to the side. Like like, she was gonna fall or something, and it was so bad looking. It looked good when we were kids, though.
[02:59:37] allen marcus:
Yeah. I have a a few articles here to bring up. My favorite is the 1992 Batman movie and the Jewish question because the, was the penguin character had a really prominent
[02:59:52] Steve :
Is that DeVito? Yeah. That was DeVito. DeVito. I gotta I gotta hop off those. And to prevent the rumble stream from going, like, eight hours or whatever because, you know Cut. Fuck, dude. I'm I'm falling asleep. I'm stunned. I'm gonna, a good night for me. Gonna kill Well, I mean, you you guys go as long as you want or whatever. But I've gone as long as I want. If I say anymore, I'm gonna get myself in real deep trouble. Okay. Okay.
[03:00:16] allen marcus:
You want me to talk about Jewish superheroes for another hour? Just short of We won't there won't we won't have any channels
[03:00:24] Steve :
at all anymore if I I mean, there's the Hebrew hammer. Did you ever see that movie?
[03:00:30] allen marcus:
I don't have it on VHS.
[03:00:33] Steve :
He definitely doesn't sound like something I'd watch. He helps people reclaim their Jewishness by giving them copies of Yentl and Fiddler on the Roof and something else. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. I I think I rented it from Netflix. And It was a a Comedy Central production. It's like Adam Goldberg or somebody like that is the star of it. Oh, dude. It is.
[03:00:55] allen marcus:
I'm a big Adam Goldberg fan. I love that. That. Tire of
[03:00:59] Steve :
bad. But it like, as a lark Mhmm. Get it worth watching the one time just so you can be like, I can't fucking believe they actually made this.
[03:01:12] allen marcus:
Those are the type of movies I watch. Piece of shit.
[03:01:16] Steve :
What the fuck? Really? Okay. I've just Alright. You said it's not anti Semitic when you say it. You know? Like, dang. Have you seen a Neil Breen film yet?
[03:01:30] Benjamin Balderson:
I mean, you gotta admit it fits. Like like, every rap song ever has the n word in it, like, 837 times, but if you say it, it's racist. I agree. So I mean, that it does fit the motif.
[03:01:42] Steve :
Mhmm. Here. Before I get out of here, let's see if there's a trailer for it. So, is it fifty years of Jaws?
[03:01:50] allen marcus:
Steven Spielberg? Thank you for your service. George Lucas, don't know his early history. Star Wars guy. So these are topics we can bring up next Tuesday.
[03:02:07] Benjamin Balderson:
We'll try and have a guest next Tuesday. I'll try and get on that. Can we get a Jewish superhero? I I don't believe I have access to any of those. We got Rose seven seven seven.
[03:02:20] allen marcus:
She is a hero. She is super. I did wanna talk to people who rode motorcycles.
[03:02:32] Benjamin Balderson:
That's good background music too. I can tell that that's
[03:02:42] allen marcus:
The West Bank Palms are gated.
[03:02:48] Benjamin Balderson:
Gotta have the stars of David's and everything else on there. Yeah. Too much of a comet clock. Oh, god. Kilometers. Oh, god. It didn't have a little picture of old Netanyahu's
[03:03:02] allen marcus:
face up there. I thought there'd be more olive trees.
[03:03:06] Steve :
Oh, come on. There's gotta be something better. Here we go. Coming soon to DVD from Comedy Central.
[03:03:14] allen marcus:
When there's danger on the streets and evil is everywhere, the only solution
[03:03:21] Benjamin Balderson:
is And Mario got evil.
[03:03:25] allen marcus:
Circumcised. That's a sexed alien to all the chicks. Adam Goldberg is. Adam Goldberg is. Adam Goldberg. The Hebrew hammer. The Hebrew hammer. Yes.
[03:03:37] Unknown:
Santa's been rubbed out by his evil son, Damien. Uh-oh. I'm Santa now. It's Christmas time in July. Four hours.
[03:03:45] allen marcus:
Hours.
[03:03:46] Steve :
Monica will be no
[03:03:49] Unknown:
more.
[03:03:49] Benjamin Balderson:
We have to put into place an agent. The Deep Blue Hammer confirmation test initiated.
[03:03:57] Steve :
Who that's called? Circumcision
[03:03:59] Benjamin Balderson:
confirmed.
[03:04:03] allen marcus:
He's a master of disguise. You're the goy who stole Hanukkah. The Hebrew hammer.
[03:04:09] Unknown:
He's a ladies' man. I want you to talk dirty to me.
[03:04:13] allen marcus:
I I wanna have lots of children by you. I wanna get a good paying, stable job. Yeah. I want for our children to go to private schools. Private schools. Keep going.
[03:04:26] Benjamin Balderson:
Excuse me, children. He plans on personally canceling Christmas.
[03:04:32] Unknown:
Attention Kmart shoppers. There are Jews in Aisle 12. They're all Jews.
[03:04:38] Benjamin Balderson:
And they pulled him the Hebrew ham up.
[03:04:41] Unknown:
Oh, kiss me, you Semitic stallion.
[03:04:44] allen marcus:
Mario The Semitic stallion.
[03:04:46] Benjamin Balderson:
And what was Mario Vamp Eagles? Tied in. Yep. You don't have to hold on. It was either that or Macy Gray.
[03:04:52] Steve :
Oh, yeah.
[03:04:54] Benjamin Balderson:
Yeah. I knew that. And Andy Dick. Someone's gonna get everything they want for Christmas. This is your next.
[03:05:00] Steve :
The Hebrew hammer, coming soon to DVD. And don't you worry, we're including plenty of DVD extras. I rented those extras. Bold, big nose, difficult brother.
[03:05:14] Benjamin Balderson:
I have to watch that.
[03:05:17] allen marcus:
We need to And with that Good night, YouTubes.
[03:05:24] Steve :
Take care, everybody. We'll see you next week.
Introduction and Scuffed Intros
Weather and Mosquitoes in Minnesota
Flea Market Finds and Bar Stories
Ortho Bros and Online Debates
Bohemian Grove and Nixon's Remarks
Prayer and Ortho Bro Culture
Eating on Air and Hot Sauce Discussion
Music and Guitar Prodigies
YouTube and Fair Use Challenges
Bluegrass and Music Festivals
Meth and Music Lyrics Analysis
Demolition Derby and Fairground Stories
Food Not Bombs and Activism
Orthodox Christianity and Debates
Nancy Talk and Relationship Dynamics
Cats, Dogs, and Pet Stories
Merchandise and T-Shirt Designs
Secret Societies and Alchemy
Heterofatalism and Relationship Critiques
Jewish Superheroes and Cultural Commentary
Movies and Pop Culture References
Final Thoughts and Wrap-Up
