In this episode, we delve into a gripping mystery set in a future where war has brought about a strange new syndrome. Professor Harry Skrim narrates the tale of Ward J at Saint Albans Military Hospital, where patients mysteriously disappear and reappear, seemingly traveling through time. As General Harp and his team of experts struggle to understand this phenomenon, they uncover a potential breakthrough that could change the course of history and the war for the American dream. The story explores themes of teleportation, time travel, and the power of dreams, challenging the boundaries of reality and imagination.
As the narrative unfolds, we meet intriguing characters like Captain Edsel, who is tasked with uncovering the secrets of Ward J, and the patients who live out their fantasies in different eras. The episode raises questions about the nature of reality and the human mind's potential to transcend time and space. With a blend of science fiction and philosophical inquiry, this episode invites listeners to ponder the possibilities of a future where dreams become reality and the implications for humanity's pursuit of the American dream.
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Unknown:
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Come in. Welcome. I'm E. G. Marshall. No one can ever forget the shock and horror of the first nuclear bomb produced surprises, dilemmas, which we must face and solve.
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As a rule, they're ugly problems. But there was a war in the not so distant
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few, problems. But there was a war in the not so distant future that sprang a bomb which might have been the salvation and delight of mankind if the top brass had known how to handle it. Our mystery drama, now you see them, now you don't, was written especially for the mystery theater by Alfred Bester and stars Robert Dryden and Leon Janney. It is sponsored in part by the Greyhound Ameripass and contact, the twelve hour cold capsule. I'll be back shortly with act one. Professor Harry Skrim is serving twenty years hard labor in Alcatraz, which was reactivated for the conscientious objectors to world war five.
This is his story to tell because Doctor. Swim solved the mystery of the fantastic bombshell, which burst on the Western world in the year 2175. This one wasn't the last war or the war to end wars. They didn't even call it w w five. No. It was quote, the war for the American dream, end quote. General Harp invented that slogan and repeated it over and over again.
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My fellow Americans, this great nation of ours is not fighting for money or power or conquest. We are fighting to bring the American dream to the free nations of the world.
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There are fighting generals, political generals, and public relations generals Harp was a great salesman. My fellow Americans,
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we are fighting solely for the American dream.
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We are fighting for the American meaning of civilization, for art, for poetry, for culture, for the only things worth fighting for. The American dream is the better things in life which must not disappear from the free world.
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Oh, he sold the war for the American dream. We fought. General Harp asked for 10,000 intercontinental missiles. 10,000 were delivered to the enemy, and the enemy returned the compliment. Most of our cities were destroyed.
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New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, Saint Louis, Washington. Thank heavens we moved the government to Colorado. Cleveland, Atlanta, most despair. That's not the American dream. Yes, General Harbor. Get me a thousand mining engineers. One thousand. Yes, sir. Read them. Their mission to design and supervise the construction of a hundred underground cities. Yes, General Hart. Are we going into hiding? Never. We will carry on as before. I also require 500 sanitation experts, five hundred managers, communication chiefs, and personnel specialists.
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Yes, General Hart. I, excuse me, sir. Yes. Yes. What is it? I've been relaying your request by Telex as you ordered. Good. Very efficient. The replies are coming in. Yes? Well, sir, the country doesn't seem to be able to meet your quota for technical experts. They don't know what to do. They don't,
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I'll tell them. Book me for a speech to the National Association of American Universities tomorrow. These long hair intellectuals need a lesson.
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The universities trained and delivered the hardened and sharpened experts that General Harp demanded. The entire nation became a hardened and sharpened army of specialists to win the war for the American dream. But the American dream wasn't fulfilled on any of the seven fronts where millions of men and women were locked in bitter combat.
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No.
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It came to life in Ward J
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of the military
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hospital. General Hobbs sent for me, Major? No. I sent for you, Captain Edsel. Oh, why, Major? Because I don't want to bother the general with details. About these reports from Saint Alban's hospital. But I'm not attached to Saint Alban's, Major. Major. You will be now. There's something funny going on there, and intelligence recommends you as a reliable expert in psychotherapy. Oh, thank you, Major. It's a question of morale. Something's gone sour at Saint Albans. Ward Jay is a
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mystery. Ward j?
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There's no j classification in military hospitals. That's the start of a mystery.
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Now here's the rest. The ward is kept locked up. No patients are permitted to leave or enter. That's odd. Staff doctors have been seen entering and leaving, and they all look bewildered and absolutely flabbergasted. Oh, that can't happen to the best physicians. Cleaning women who have been in Ward J have been gossiping. They say that none of the beds look used. The kitchen staff has been gossiping. They say that food trays go into Ward Jay 3 times a day and come out untouched. There's no one in Ward Jay? There must be some someone, captain Edsall. One of the paramedics reported passing the locked doors and hearing singing inside. Yeah. Singing. He was vague about it.
What did the staff physicians say? Nothing, captain Edsall. Obviously, they're afraid to talk. Why? What what what could it possibly be? That's why I've taken it upon myself to request your transfer to Saint Albans. The hospital is in a ferment. Now you know how sick people can fly into passion. Morale is deteriorating. General Harp cannot, repeat cannot be plagued by this. Captain Edsel, go into Saint Albans and find out what the devil is going on in Ward J.
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Captain Edsel reporting. Go ahead. Percentage of recoveries at Saint Albans falling off. Malingering is set in. Suggest permission to order staff shakeup. Anything on Ward J?
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No. Nothing yet. Have you inspected Ward J? Affirmative.
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Exactly as gossip is reported. Statements from the staff. They refuse to talk. They're afraid to talk. That's why I urge shake up. Roger.
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We'll assign new surgeon general to Saint Albans. Captain Ezra reporting. Go ahead.
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The, new chief is doing no good. Saint Albans is close to open mutiny. On account of Ward J. Aye, that's the plague spot. And what's the plague, captain? Any Any idea yet? Well, I've been in and out of war, Jay, for weeks and I'm beginning to figure it out. Yes. Go on. Well, it's too soon to report mostly because I I can't believe the evidence. What evidence? Oh, and you won't believe it either. Captain Edsall,
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Edsall, what evidence? Report. This is an order.
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Respectfully rejected, major. I'm taking no chances on a section eight discharge.
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I have read your report, major. Most explicit and mystifying. This captain you sent to investigate Ward J Captain Ed Volser, Psychotherapist, expert. Good. This captain has suddenly stopped reporting to you about war jay. Yes, general. But the situation must be remedied? Yes, general. Saint Albans is an affirmant.
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I think he's on to something he's afraid to talk about. What? Damned if I know.
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Excuse me, sir. You know my slogan. A job for every man and every man on the job. This Edsel is not doing his job. Get him. How, sir? In our fight for the American dream, we must not ignore those who have already suffered for our ideal. Send the squad scrap of the neck. Now look here, captain Edsel. We're all of us tools today, hardened and sharpened to do a specific job. You know my motto, a job for everyone and everyone on the job. Yes, general. Now the major sent you into Saint Albans to find out what is going on in this Ward J, which is getting the hospital uptight.
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Yes, general.
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All of a sudden you cut off communications.
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Why? Well, sir, I I I
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no one will believe me. Let's take it from the top. Are there patients in Ward J? Oh, yes, sir. 10 women and 14 men. Then it isn't a spook ward like the reports are saying. No, sir. Alright. So they've got these 24 crocs in Ward J. Their job's to get well and go back to the fight. The hospital's job is to get them shaped up by the morale fuss.
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Well, sir, because Saint Albans keeps the ward locked. I know. It's in the reports. Why? To keep the patients in, general.
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Keep them in? What do you mean? Are they trying to bust out? Are they dangerous, violent, or something? Well, well,
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no, sir. They're not not violent. Not not not dangerous. Then why? I'm afraid to tell you, sir. I'll make it easier for
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you. What about that j classification? I checked with a filing expert from the medical corps, and there is no j classification in our hospitals. From a to I takes care of all war wounds. Left arm amputees, right arm amputees, left leg, right leg, radiation burns, busted gut crunched heads, and so on. Oh, yes, sir. I know that. Then what's the j class?
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Well, sir, you you see that the staff invented the j class for something special. They're, they're shock cases. Blanked out, almost catatonic. Slow pulse, slow respiration. You've examined them? Oh, yes, sir. As often as I get the chance. What the devil does that mean? Oh, well, you Oh, wait a minute. So let me just explain. See? They they don't eat and they don't sleep. Never? Well, not in this hospital. Never.
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And why don't they die? I mean, you can't go without food and sleep.
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We don't know general. They just disappear, sir. Vanish.
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They disappear
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right in front of your eyes? Yes, sir. Now you see them. Now you don't. I mean, they disappear with a kind of a pop like a cork being pulled out of a champagne bottle. And now you know why we're afraid to report it. Good lord. I see it over and over again, sir. They'll be in Ward Jay sitting on a bed or standing around making the the strange noises that shock cases make. One minute you see them and the next minute you don't. Sometimes there's two dozen in Ward Jay and other times none. They disappear and reappear without rhyme or reason, general.
I don't believe you. They disappear, sir. They disappear.
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No one will believe you. General, they disappear. All right. All right. At ease, captain. Bring me three cases and prove it.
[00:13:15] Unknown:
24 men and women in ward j of Saint Albans Military Hospital, all shock casualties of a future war. They disappear and reappear with the pop of a champagne cork without rhyme or reason. If this brand new combat injury of world war five has any meaning What is
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it? Act two may tell us dad know what I'd love a singer sewing machine for what you were born in blue jeans But daddy it's on sale look it has a free arm for sewing neck lines and blouse cuff. Blouses? Maybe you'll even make dresses. I haven't seen your legs since you were three. Right now at our someone special sale, you can get a stylist machine by singer for just $1.99
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95.
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Daddy, how do you like the dress? Oh, you look too terrific. Why can't you wear jeans like other little girls? Price is optional at participating dealers. Remember the first pickup in your life? You were probably just a kid, and the truck was probably a dull blue, had big round fenders and rode like a stone. You loved it. Well, your GMC dealer can rekindle that love of trucking you with GMC pickups that can be luxurious like the family car, and do things no car can. It was fun once, get trucking again with a GM.
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Do you remember this old rhyme? The other day upon the stair, I saw a man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today. My god, I wish he'd go away. Yes, it's amusing nonsense, but now we're going to find out whether it really is nonsense, And if it's not, where the little man goes when he goes away. Hello, operator.
[00:15:05] Unknown:
This is Nathan Riley in the penthouse. Get me Diamond Jim Brady and put in a call to Detroit, Michigan. I wanna talk to a youngster who runs a bicycle repair shop named Henry Ford. That's right. Hello? Jim? It's Nat Riley. How are all the diamonds today? Uh-huh. Listen, Jim. That 10,000 I'm betting on gentleman Jim against John O'Sullivan, I wanna parlay the payoff. What? Oh, I'll win alright. Get me down for the short end of the Truman Dewey election. Uh-huh. I'll take Truman Mets to Mets to take the pennant and the series. Right, Tim. Bye. A love to all the diamonds.
Come in. It's open. Breakfast. Just wheel the table out on the terrace. Thanks. Hello? Oh, the Detroit call to Henry Ford. Put him on. Hello. Good morning, Henry. You don't know me, so I better introduce myself. My name's Riley. Nathan Riley, Riley, and I'm an investor. That's right. Now, Henry, I heard some talk about a crazy new invention you've got in your bicycle place. I'll invest 200,000. Yes. You heard me. 200,000. I'll mail you a draft on Johnny P Morgan's trust today. No. No. Thanks. We're gonna go a long way together. Bye.
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This is the life. It's great here. Just great. What a difference from Saint Albans. I really ought to go back to the ward for a last goodbye. I'm gonna miss some of those other poor quips.
[00:17:19] Unknown:
There's one. That's Private Riley. Shoot him quick. Full syringe and hold on to him.
[00:17:30] Unknown:
Got a light Ben Hur? Yes, Lady Lila. Right here. Thanks, Ben Hur you are a think. You're the disgrace of all Rome. No, Lady Lila. No. You are not then her. You are Julius Caesar in disguise.
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I admit
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it. Why did you trick me? To obtain admission to your private boudoir. I know you hate generals. Not true. Some of my best friends are general. Let me be your best friend, Leela. No, Caesar. I will do anything for your favor. I will divorce Calpurnia.
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No, Caesar. I will divide all Gaul into three parts. No, Caesar. I will cross the Rubicon.
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You forget.
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I am am consecrated to the Goddess Vesta and to the tending of the sacred fire which burns in her temple. Oh, consecrate yourself to me, Leela. We can go far together. The Goddess will release you. She will? That she has before, ask Carlina. Tell her the truth. Vesta respects love.
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Oh, I'm afraid. Are you worth it, Caesar? To give up everything for you? Oh, I am, Lila.
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Now, I will reveal the truth. I am not Julius Caesar disguised as Ben Hur. I am Ben Hur disguised as Julius Caesar pretending to be Julius Caesar disguised as Ben Hur. Oh, what? But I'll I'll I'll put it another way. If anybody asks the real Ben Hur to stand up, I will stand up.
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Oh, I you overcome me. Oh, go. I will call the goddess on our CB and I must be alone for the sacred ritual.
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Here's another one. That's sergeant Lila Tibbetts. Shoot her quick. 10 cc and hold on to her. Well, that's two. One more to go.
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I can say no more, gentlemen of the house. I will fight for this bill on the beakage. I will fight in the cities of England, the towns, and the hamlets of our blessed isle.
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Will the right honorable remember
[00:19:52] Unknown:
No, mister Gisraeli.
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I will not yield. Will the right honorable member yield for a question?
[00:19:59] Unknown:
For a question only, mister
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Disraeli. Tell the house how much this canal of yours The Suez Canal, sir. Tell the house how much this Suez Canal, for which you so eloquently plead, will cost our majesty's
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government. One hundred thousand pounds. What? £100,000.
[00:20:23] Unknown:
You have the audacity, mister Hammer, to ask her majesty's government to squander £100,000 on a fly by night speculation called
[00:20:34] Unknown:
the Cillow's Canal? I do, sir. I do not ask. I demand. Or England, this happy breed of men, this little
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Clive. Bravo.
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Thanks, mister Disraeli. Your heckling came in just the right moment, but the house
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entirely on my side. Yes. Yes. It did. I admit it. Without false modesty, I am a brilliant politician. You are the greatest of us all. No. No. No. No. I'm not your equal. I should be prime minister to her majesty someday. But you will always be the real power behind the throne. You a flat meter. I only pay just you. Now, how about grilled bones of catacels? My Rolls Royce is waiting outside. Oh, mister D'Souce.
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Another treat like the ones we had when we were schoolboys together. Grilled bones with barbecue sauce. With what? Is that something new? Of course. We don't have it yet. I know where to get some. You go ahead. I'll join you in the rolls in a minute.
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There's number three. Corporal hammer. Grab him. Shoot him. Alright. Now we'll need three stretchers to hold him to General Harp.
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So there they sprawled in General Harp's office. Private Nathan Riley, Sergeant Layla Timmott, and Corporal Clive Hammer. They were in their hospital graves. They were torpid with sodium thiamorphic. The big office had been cleared and blazed with lights. It was lined with General Captain Edsel saw the steel faced ruthless man awaiting him and his patients, he was frightened.
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What what's all this, sir? My experts want to have a talk with you. With with with me, general, I I thought you wanted the patients from War Jake. And you.
[00:23:01] Unknown:
Didn't occur to you that I mightn't buy your disappearance bluff. Hey. But it's not a bluff, sir. It it you can ask anyone. It's an Alban. The staff still isn't talking, captain. The general has nothing but your story. And so I'll spell it out for you. The war is going badly. We've had intelligence leaks that have been disastrous.
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I got my experts together and we agree that Ward J may be the source. Oh, no, John. No. No. Then maybe you've been paid off to cover up, you and the Saint Albans staff. But they do disappear. They do. It isn't a bluff or a story.
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Work him over, gentlemen.
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My name is Edward Adsell. America is my nation. Saint Albans is my dwelling place, and heaven is my destination.
[00:23:54] Unknown:
Has he broken yet? No, general. What are they using? Truth serum, sir. Tell him to try LSD inhibition release. That's against the law, sir. Perfect's sake. Forget the law. We're fighting a war for civilization.
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Roger, general.
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Edward Adelson is my name. America is my nation. The army is my dwelling place and hell is my
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destination. No major? No break yet general.
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Stubborn isn't he?
[00:24:29] Unknown:
I don't think there's anything to break sir. You think he's telling the truth? No, sir. I think he's suffering from an honest delusion.
[00:24:37] Unknown:
Then try the id and ego pressure point treatments. That'll break his delusions.
[00:24:42] Unknown:
General, we can't. It may wreck Edsel's mind forever. Don't be squeamish, Major.
[00:24:48] Unknown:
We've got to protect the American dream no matter what the price. Get to it. Break him.
[00:24:57] Unknown:
And Edselt made a decision to drawing a vessel. I don't
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know.
[00:25:07] Unknown:
It's no use, sir. We've brought captain Edsall to the breaking point three times and there is absolutely nothing to break. He can't tell you anything. Alright. Let him stew.
[00:25:19] Unknown:
Tell them to go to work on the patients.
[00:25:22] Unknown:
General Harv, isn't that a bit much? Two sick men and a woman? Who says they're sick?
[00:25:28] Unknown:
This whole thing may be a cover up for a covert operation in Ward J and we've got to get to the bottom. I don't think your experts will cooperate, sir. What? They scream as you? Alright. I'll show them what a pro is. Come on, Major.
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Sir, I I I don't think I've Call yourselves
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experts, Where are those crocs? Oh, still out, Major? Give me three adrenaline shots. General Harp, you may be risking their lives. Come on. Come on. What's a life when I'm protecting an ideal?
[00:26:04] Unknown:
Yes, sir. Here you are. Here we go.
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This one's Nathan Riley. Hey? Come on, Riley. Wake up, boy. And pivot. Okay? Get with it, girl. Rise and shine, hammer. Everybody up. You're going to tell me what's going on in Ward J.
[00:26:30] Unknown:
Understand?
[00:26:33] Unknown:
Good lord. Captain Edsel was telling the truth.
[00:26:38] Unknown:
Captain Edsel, are you awake? Yes,
[00:26:43] Unknown:
sir. General, you saw them. You saw them disappear. I did.
[00:26:49] Unknown:
Captain Edsel, I I apologize. I wish to do the handsome thing. Colonel Edsel, this is a field promotion for a discovery over and above the call of duty. You have just won the war for the American dream.
[00:27:13] Unknown:
Yes. It's all very well to talk about a discovery that will win a war, provided you know what the discovery is and how to use it. Exactly what what has been taking place? Where are the disappearing patients going and how do they get there? Can anyone follow them? Act three may tell us. At Hager Bush. Headquarters, Saint Louis, Missouri. The 1977
[00:28:04] Unknown:
Buick Regal. It comes with Buick's terrific v six engine. It carries six people and lots of Buick comfort. It's lean. It's maneuverable in city traffic. It's the most luxurious midsize car Buick builds. Yeah. This new Regal is pretty much everything a car should be, except for one thing. It isn't yours yet, but it can be. Just see a Buick dealer for a test drive soon.
[00:29:30] Unknown:
You know, all airline fares to Jamaica are basically the same. And we all have gleaming big jets and good pilots. So what's left? What's left is what happens on board. And on board Air Jamaica, Jamaica happens. Leggo music recorded at the source. A free bamboozle. Our own special concoction. A fantastic fashion show of all the latest island creations. Stewesses who can tell you secrets about Jamaica, that girls from Tallahassee, no matter how helpful, just wouldn't know. What we have that sets Air Jamaica apart from any other airline is Jamaica. On Air Jamaica, we give you a lot more than just the plane ride.
We make you feel good all over.
[00:30:23] Unknown:
Ask your travel agent about Air Jamaica special holiday packages.
[00:30:39] Unknown:
It has been said that when one meets an unusual situation, one must handle it in an unusual manner. Unfortunately, general harp is meeting the unusual situation more
[00:31:02] Unknown:
and more experts. Alright, Colonel Edsel. You will sum up the medical aspects of war j for us. Yes, general.
[00:31:10] Unknown:
Well, certain facts are obvious. This must be a new and fantastic syndrome brought on by the horrors of modern war. This new syndrome must involve something beyond strategy and tactics. What? Teleportation,
[00:31:26] Unknown:
general.
[00:31:27] Unknown:
Oh, what? Teleportation? Teleportation. The power of mind over space. You
[00:31:33] Unknown:
mean those crocs in Ward J think their disappearance?
[00:31:37] Unknown:
Yes, sir. Evidently combat shock while destroying certain known powers of the mind must develop other latent powers which were unknown up until now. You're sure of this? They can think themselves
[00:31:49] Unknown:
somewhere else. They must, general. They get food and sleep somewhere else. They never need it in Ward J.
[00:31:56] Unknown:
That's right, major. Where do they get food and sleep?
[00:32:00] Unknown:
I want our intelligence to check. Well, our men might simply be going home, sir. They do get homesick, general. Right.
[00:32:08] Unknown:
Good suggestion. I want security to check. Family, wives, sweethearts, homes of every one of these crocs. Let the FBI handle that, but under my command. Right, general. Now here's the procedure I worked out. Etzel,
[00:32:23] Unknown:
you will set up extra beds in Ward Ward Jay. I'll send in experts to live there and observe. Can do, general. But, we'll have to work faster. They seem to be returning to Ward Jay less and less frequently. In the beginning, they would come and go almost every day. Now they seem to be staying away for weeks and months. My experts will find out what they're doing fast. I hope so, sir.
[00:32:48] Unknown:
The experts hustled, security checked, intelligence probed, the tension increased.
[00:32:59] Unknown:
General? Any reports, Major? Yes, sir. All negative. Damn. Security reports not one strange case of unexpected appearance has taken place anywhere in America. Intelligence reports the enemy has no such cases. Maybe they're keeping it secret too. I'm sure they'd try, general. This is all brand
[00:33:18] Unknown:
new. We've got to get specialists to handle it. We've got to develop new tools.
[00:33:26] Unknown:
General, excuse my breaking in like this, sir. Yeah. Our first lead, one of your experts in Ward J asked for the help of another expert.
[00:33:35] Unknown:
Mhmm. Hey. If you've got him I've got it all. What's he want? A a a lapidary. You mean an expert in precious stones? Yes, sir. What the devil for? He picked up a reference to a precious stone. He's a personnel specialist, and he can't relate it to anything in his experience. Now that I approve of. A job for every man and every man on the job. What kind of a stone?
[00:33:55] Unknown:
It's some kind of diamond nobody's ever heard
[00:33:58] Unknown:
of. A Jim Brady type. A Jim Brady type diamond?
[00:34:08] Unknown:
General, we've got it. Your expert delivered. And you won't believe it. Easy colonel, major, one at a time. What have you got? The archaeologist identified Jim Brady at once. Diamond Jim Brady. The diamond was a nickname. Yes. He was a historic person who'd been famous in little old New York sometime between governor Peter Stavison and governor
[00:34:31] Unknown:
Fiorella LaGuardia. That's ages ago. Who'd the name come from in Ward J? Private Nathan Riley. And where'd he get it? We don't know. He's not a former history student, is
[00:34:43] Unknown:
he? No, sir. I, I'm afraid to say this. There's no way he could have gotten it except if, If if what? Well, if it's something bigger than teleportation. What could be bigger than teleportation?
[00:34:58] Unknown:
Time travel?
[00:35:00] Unknown:
Time travel? You mean that's where they're going to?
[00:35:06] Unknown:
Somewhere back in time? Yes, sir. They're going somewhere back in time. How?
[00:35:10] Unknown:
How? We don't know, general. And maybe that's why they're not coming back.
[00:35:16] Unknown:
They like it better there. You mean time travel is here, not discovered through expert research
[00:35:26] Unknown:
by qualified physicists? Oh, no, sir. It's come as a plague, a disease of the war, a combat injury to ordinary man. Do you realize the colossal significance?
[00:35:36] Unknown:
We could send an army back in time and win the war before it started. We could protect the American dream of poetry and beauty and art from barbarism without ever endangering it. Yes, sir.
[00:35:51] Unknown:
If, if we could find out how they do it. That's the point.
[00:35:56] Unknown:
Those crocs can't communicate the secret of the miracle. It's for us to find the key. We will need advanced specialists, a cerebral mechanist, a cyberneticist, an autonomist, and a first rate philosophic historian. They'll go into Ward Jay, and they won't come out until they've learned the technique of time travel.
[00:36:23] Unknown:
The first three experts were easy to draft from other war departments. But there's some trouble locating a first rate historian until Alcatraz cooperated with the army and released me, temporarily, from my sentence. Me, Harry Scrim. I was professor of philosophic history at Stanford until I spoke my mind about Harp's war for the American dream, that got me into twenty years. But I'm still contemptuous of you and your war, General. Never forget that. Then why'd you agree to come, Scrim? Well, I was intrigued by the problem of Ward Jay, but I'm not an expert.
In this benighted nation of specialists, I'm the last singing grasshopper. Major, get me an entomologist. Don't bother. I'll translate. You're a nest of ants, all working and specializing
[00:37:21] Unknown:
for what? We're fighting to preserve poetry and culture and the finer things in life. Which means you're fighting to preserve
[00:37:29] Unknown:
me. That's what I've devoted my life to. And what do you do with me? Put me in jail. You were convicted of disloyal criticism. I was convicted of let's waste time arguing. Let me have all those expert reports and lock me up in Ward J. I've got to talk fast, General. You're running out of time. All while I was in Ward Jay, only three came back. They're all disappearing for keeps. Go ahead. Go ahead. I'm gonna give you the clues to something so fantastic, it'll need all your fine edge to cut into it. Now listen. Nathan Reilly goes back in time to the turn of the twentieth century.
There, he lived the life of his fondest dreams. He's a big time gambler, friend of diamond Jim Brady. He wins money because he always knows the outcome of events in advance. Such as? Truman to win the election for president. Corbett to win the heavyweight title from John l Sullivan. He makes money investing in an auto company Henry Ford is starting.
[00:38:45] Unknown:
That mean anything to you? Not without a sociological
[00:38:49] Unknown:
analyst.
[00:38:50] Unknown:
More clues. Lila Tibbetts escapes into the Roman Empire where she lives the life of her dreams as a vestal virgin plus a femme fatale. Every man adores her. Julius Caesar, Savarinola, the twentieth legion, Ben Hur. Finally, you see the fallacy? No. She also smokes cigarettes and uses a CB radio.
[00:39:14] Unknown:
Well?
[00:39:16] Unknown:
Clive Hammer escapes into nineteenth century England where he's a member of parliament and a friend of Benjamin Disraeli who takes him out in his Rolls Royce for spare ribs with barbecue sauce. You know what a Rolls Royce was? No. It was an automobile. So? General, this is a bigger discovery than teleportation or time travel. What? This can be the salvation of mankind. Those shock victims have been bombed into something so staggering. It's no wonder your experts couldn't understand it.
[00:39:52] Unknown:
What what what could be bigger than time travel, professor? Listen.
[00:39:57] Unknown:
Truman didn't run for president until the middle of the twentieth century. Riley couldn't have been Diamond Jim Brady's friend and bet on Truman at the same time. John L. Sullivan and Henry Ford don't go together either. Riley's time travel is full of anachronism. What? Leila Tivett couldn't have been her for a lover because he never existed. He was a fictional character. She's lying. And cigarettes weren't invented in Roman times. More anachronism. Automobiles weren't developed until long after Disraeli died. He couldn't have taken Kriethhammer for a ride in a Rolls Royce. They're all lying. No.
They've discovered how to turn dreams into reality, and they know how to enter them and live a happy dream life. By Hermann Harp. This is your American dream. It's miracle working, immortality, creation, mind over matter. It must be studied, explored, given to the world so that everybody can learn.
[00:41:11] Unknown:
Will you do a swim?
[00:41:14] Unknown:
I can't. I'm noncreative. You need a poet, an artist who understands the creative process and practices it. The poet?
[00:41:24] Unknown:
Are you serious?
[00:41:25] Unknown:
Certainly. Don't you know what a poet is? You've been telling us for five years that this war is being fought fought to save the poet. Don't be sarcastic, Skrim. Send a poet into war, Jay. He's the only man who can learn how they do it. A poet is half doing it himself anyway. He's the only man who can tell us and teach us this miracle. But hurry up. Time is running out. I believe you're right.
[00:41:55] Unknown:
Yes, general. Get me a poet. Right away, general.
[00:42:03] Unknown:
Trying, general. Still trying, general. Attempting to locate your poet, sir. Still locating your poet, general. How should be a poet somewhere, general? There used to be lots around.
[00:42:34] Unknown:
That's right.
[00:42:35] Unknown:
Used to be what are you laughing, I assume?
[00:42:39] Unknown:
If you'll be patient and wait, general
[00:42:42] Unknown:
Sure. Wait, general.
[00:42:45] Unknown:
Wait, you sad fool. Wait. Wait for your poet. Yes. He waited and waited and waited while America sorted feverishly through its millions of hardened and sharpened experts, its special tools to defend the dream of beauty and poetry and the better things in life. General UB Harp waited, not understanding the endless delay, the hopeless search for why Harry Schwinn laughed and laughed at this final fatal disappearance.
[00:43:31] Unknown:
I'll be back shortly. Now, a warm Christmas message from Scrooge.
[00:43:36] Unknown:
Flying home for the holidays. My humbug Greyhound announces two penny pinching travel plans from December 1 through January 2. The holiday in Merripot. Two Weeks unlimited travel for only a hundred and $39. Save one, two, even $500 over a regular round trip air coach, depending how far you journey. Or Greyhound's time to close fair, save a pair of extra arms shorter round trips out of state, charge with bank cards. Each plan allows you to take your child under 12 along free, like this tidy chap. Tim?
[00:44:13] Unknown:
Bless you, Greyhound.
[00:44:15] Unknown:
And Greyhound will carry your gifts too. Ship them in time for Christmas for sure from any Greyhound station, or from special gift shipping centers in many major city shopping centers. One more time, Nipah. Bless you, Greyhound.
[00:44:40] Unknown:
Hey. Dubonnet is a really special drink that started over in France, but you
[00:45:35] Unknown:
Hi. I'm Fred Feldman, helicopter seven ten. I'm also on the board of directors at the Queensborough Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children. Now let me ask you a a question. What are you gonna do for Christmas for a six year old kid who was thrown out of his house without a stitch of clothing on? We don't have all the answers, but the WOR Children's Christmas Fund does bring Christmas to a lot of kids in a lot of places like the Queen Shelton. Now I know times are tough, but if we don't bring Christmas to these kids, no one is. So please send whatever you can to the W. O. R. Children's Christmas Fund, box seven ten Times Square Station, New York one double o three six, and I thank
[00:46:23] Unknown:
you.
[00:46:26] Unknown:
No, it's not a happy story, and it's a story of an unhappy future which we hope will never come to pass. But there is one consolation. Now at least we know where the little man who wasn't there goes when he goes away, to a time that never was, of course. There are moments when I dream of going there too. Don't we all?
[00:46:51] Unknown:
The people in this dream included Robert Wright It takes lot of ingredients to fix or build a car, like cooking, but without the frozen dinner easy way out. EBay Motors has a 22,000,000 parts. It's always the right fitment, so you can follow any recipe to a tee. Whether it's a vintage Italian coupe that's classic like grandma's meatballs or a German luxury car that's as complicated as almost rouladen. To cook up something great in the garage, use the eBay Motors app or visit eBayMotors.com. Let's ride.
[00:47:18] Unknown:
Hey. It's Amy Brown from the Bobby Bones Show. Join me in supporting St. Jude Children's Research Hospital for a chance to win a trip to meet Megan Maroney at the twenty twenty five iHeart Country Festival in Austin, Texas on May 3 hosted by Bobby Bones. We're gonna hook you up with tickets, flights, hotel, food credits, and a meet and greet with Megan Maroney. Take action now to support St. Jude and help cure childhood cancer, and you're gonna be entered for a chance to win. Visit iheartcountrytrip.com to learn more.
Hey. It's Amy Brown from the Bobby Bones Show. Join me in supporting St. Jude Children's Research Hospital for a chance to win a trip to meet Megan Maroney at the twenty twenty five iHeart Country Festival in Austin, Texas on May 3 hosted by Bobby Bones. We're gonna hook you up with tickets, flights, hotel, food credits, and a meet and greet with Megan Maroney. Take action now to support St. Jude and help cure childhood cancer, and you're gonna be entered for a chance to win. Visit iheartcountrytrip.com to learn more.
[00:00:32] Unknown:
It takes a lot of ingredients to fix or build a car, like cooking, but without the frozen dinner easy way out. EBay Motors has a 22,000,000 parts. It's always the right fit, so you can follow any recipe to a tee. Whether it's a vintage Italian coupe that's classic like grandma's meatballs or a German luxury car that's as complicated as almost rouladen. To cook up something great in the garage, use the eBay Motors app or visit eBayMotors.com. Let's ride.
[00:01:12] Unknown:
Come in. Welcome. I'm E. G. Marshall. No one can ever forget the shock and horror of the first nuclear bomb produced surprises, dilemmas, which we must face and solve.
[00:01:35] Unknown:
As a rule, they're ugly problems. But there was a war in the not so distant
[00:01:36] Unknown:
few, problems. But there was a war in the not so distant future that sprang a bomb which might have been the salvation and delight of mankind if the top brass had known how to handle it. Our mystery drama, now you see them, now you don't, was written especially for the mystery theater by Alfred Bester and stars Robert Dryden and Leon Janney. It is sponsored in part by the Greyhound Ameripass and contact, the twelve hour cold capsule. I'll be back shortly with act one. Professor Harry Skrim is serving twenty years hard labor in Alcatraz, which was reactivated for the conscientious objectors to world war five.
This is his story to tell because Doctor. Swim solved the mystery of the fantastic bombshell, which burst on the Western world in the year 2175. This one wasn't the last war or the war to end wars. They didn't even call it w w five. No. It was quote, the war for the American dream, end quote. General Harp invented that slogan and repeated it over and over again.
[00:03:08] Unknown:
My fellow Americans, this great nation of ours is not fighting for money or power or conquest. We are fighting to bring the American dream to the free nations of the world.
[00:03:22] Unknown:
There are fighting generals, political generals, and public relations generals Harp was a great salesman. My fellow Americans,
[00:03:37] Unknown:
we are fighting solely for the American dream.
[00:03:41] Unknown:
We are fighting for the American meaning of civilization, for art, for poetry, for culture, for the only things worth fighting for. The American dream is the better things in life which must not disappear from the free world.
[00:04:02] Unknown:
Oh, he sold the war for the American dream. We fought. General Harp asked for 10,000 intercontinental missiles. 10,000 were delivered to the enemy, and the enemy returned the compliment. Most of our cities were destroyed.
[00:04:23] Unknown:
New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, Saint Louis, Washington. Thank heavens we moved the government to Colorado. Cleveland, Atlanta, most despair. That's not the American dream. Yes, General Harbor. Get me a thousand mining engineers. One thousand. Yes, sir. Read them. Their mission to design and supervise the construction of a hundred underground cities. Yes, General Hart. Are we going into hiding? Never. We will carry on as before. I also require 500 sanitation experts, five hundred managers, communication chiefs, and personnel specialists.
[00:05:02] Unknown:
Yes, General Hart. I, excuse me, sir. Yes. Yes. What is it? I've been relaying your request by Telex as you ordered. Good. Very efficient. The replies are coming in. Yes? Well, sir, the country doesn't seem to be able to meet your quota for technical experts. They don't know what to do. They don't,
[00:05:23] Unknown:
I'll tell them. Book me for a speech to the National Association of American Universities tomorrow. These long hair intellectuals need a lesson.
[00:05:35] Unknown:
The universities trained and delivered the hardened and sharpened experts that General Harp demanded. The entire nation became a hardened and sharpened army of specialists to win the war for the American dream. But the American dream wasn't fulfilled on any of the seven fronts where millions of men and women were locked in bitter combat.
[00:06:01] Unknown:
No.
[00:06:03] Unknown:
It came to life in Ward J
[00:06:05] Unknown:
of the military
[00:06:07] Unknown:
hospital. General Hobbs sent for me, Major? No. I sent for you, Captain Edsel. Oh, why, Major? Because I don't want to bother the general with details. About these reports from Saint Alban's hospital. But I'm not attached to Saint Alban's, Major. Major. You will be now. There's something funny going on there, and intelligence recommends you as a reliable expert in psychotherapy. Oh, thank you, Major. It's a question of morale. Something's gone sour at Saint Albans. Ward Jay is a
[00:06:36] Unknown:
mystery. Ward j?
[00:06:38] Unknown:
There's no j classification in military hospitals. That's the start of a mystery.
[00:06:42] Unknown:
Now here's the rest. The ward is kept locked up. No patients are permitted to leave or enter. That's odd. Staff doctors have been seen entering and leaving, and they all look bewildered and absolutely flabbergasted. Oh, that can't happen to the best physicians. Cleaning women who have been in Ward J have been gossiping. They say that none of the beds look used. The kitchen staff has been gossiping. They say that food trays go into Ward Jay 3 times a day and come out untouched. There's no one in Ward Jay? There must be some someone, captain Edsall. One of the paramedics reported passing the locked doors and hearing singing inside. Yeah. Singing. He was vague about it.
What did the staff physicians say? Nothing, captain Edsall. Obviously, they're afraid to talk. Why? What what what could it possibly be? That's why I've taken it upon myself to request your transfer to Saint Albans. The hospital is in a ferment. Now you know how sick people can fly into passion. Morale is deteriorating. General Harp cannot, repeat cannot be plagued by this. Captain Edsel, go into Saint Albans and find out what the devil is going on in Ward J.
[00:07:59] Unknown:
Captain Edsel reporting. Go ahead. Percentage of recoveries at Saint Albans falling off. Malingering is set in. Suggest permission to order staff shakeup. Anything on Ward J?
[00:08:10] Unknown:
No. Nothing yet. Have you inspected Ward J? Affirmative.
[00:08:14] Unknown:
Exactly as gossip is reported. Statements from the staff. They refuse to talk. They're afraid to talk. That's why I urge shake up. Roger.
[00:08:22] Unknown:
We'll assign new surgeon general to Saint Albans. Captain Ezra reporting. Go ahead.
[00:08:30] Unknown:
The, new chief is doing no good. Saint Albans is close to open mutiny. On account of Ward J. Aye, that's the plague spot. And what's the plague, captain? Any Any idea yet? Well, I've been in and out of war, Jay, for weeks and I'm beginning to figure it out. Yes. Go on. Well, it's too soon to report mostly because I I can't believe the evidence. What evidence? Oh, and you won't believe it either. Captain Edsall,
[00:08:56] Unknown:
Edsall, what evidence? Report. This is an order.
[00:09:01] Unknown:
Respectfully rejected, major. I'm taking no chances on a section eight discharge.
[00:09:09] Unknown:
I have read your report, major. Most explicit and mystifying. This captain you sent to investigate Ward J Captain Ed Volser, Psychotherapist, expert. Good. This captain has suddenly stopped reporting to you about war jay. Yes, general. But the situation must be remedied? Yes, general. Saint Albans is an affirmant.
[00:09:31] Unknown:
I think he's on to something he's afraid to talk about. What? Damned if I know.
[00:09:37] Unknown:
Excuse me, sir. You know my slogan. A job for every man and every man on the job. This Edsel is not doing his job. Get him. How, sir? In our fight for the American dream, we must not ignore those who have already suffered for our ideal. Send the squad scrap of the neck. Now look here, captain Edsel. We're all of us tools today, hardened and sharpened to do a specific job. You know my motto, a job for everyone and everyone on the job. Yes, general. Now the major sent you into Saint Albans to find out what is going on in this Ward J, which is getting the hospital uptight.
[00:10:21] Unknown:
Yes, general.
[00:10:23] Unknown:
All of a sudden you cut off communications.
[00:10:26] Unknown:
Why? Well, sir, I I I
[00:10:30] Unknown:
no one will believe me. Let's take it from the top. Are there patients in Ward J? Oh, yes, sir. 10 women and 14 men. Then it isn't a spook ward like the reports are saying. No, sir. Alright. So they've got these 24 crocs in Ward J. Their job's to get well and go back to the fight. The hospital's job is to get them shaped up by the morale fuss.
[00:10:53] Unknown:
Well, sir, because Saint Albans keeps the ward locked. I know. It's in the reports. Why? To keep the patients in, general.
[00:11:01] Unknown:
Keep them in? What do you mean? Are they trying to bust out? Are they dangerous, violent, or something? Well, well,
[00:11:09] Unknown:
no, sir. They're not not violent. Not not not dangerous. Then why? I'm afraid to tell you, sir. I'll make it easier for
[00:11:18] Unknown:
you. What about that j classification? I checked with a filing expert from the medical corps, and there is no j classification in our hospitals. From a to I takes care of all war wounds. Left arm amputees, right arm amputees, left leg, right leg, radiation burns, busted gut crunched heads, and so on. Oh, yes, sir. I know that. Then what's the j class?
[00:11:42] Unknown:
Well, sir, you you see that the staff invented the j class for something special. They're, they're shock cases. Blanked out, almost catatonic. Slow pulse, slow respiration. You've examined them? Oh, yes, sir. As often as I get the chance. What the devil does that mean? Oh, well, you Oh, wait a minute. So let me just explain. See? They they don't eat and they don't sleep. Never? Well, not in this hospital. Never.
[00:12:13] Unknown:
And why don't they die? I mean, you can't go without food and sleep.
[00:12:17] Unknown:
We don't know general. They just disappear, sir. Vanish.
[00:12:22] Unknown:
They disappear
[00:12:24] Unknown:
right in front of your eyes? Yes, sir. Now you see them. Now you don't. I mean, they disappear with a kind of a pop like a cork being pulled out of a champagne bottle. And now you know why we're afraid to report it. Good lord. I see it over and over again, sir. They'll be in Ward Jay sitting on a bed or standing around making the the strange noises that shock cases make. One minute you see them and the next minute you don't. Sometimes there's two dozen in Ward Jay and other times none. They disappear and reappear without rhyme or reason, general.
I don't believe you. They disappear, sir. They disappear.
[00:13:03] Unknown:
No one will believe you. General, they disappear. All right. All right. At ease, captain. Bring me three cases and prove it.
[00:13:15] Unknown:
24 men and women in ward j of Saint Albans Military Hospital, all shock casualties of a future war. They disappear and reappear with the pop of a champagne cork without rhyme or reason. If this brand new combat injury of world war five has any meaning What is
[00:13:36] Unknown:
it? Act two may tell us dad know what I'd love a singer sewing machine for what you were born in blue jeans But daddy it's on sale look it has a free arm for sewing neck lines and blouse cuff. Blouses? Maybe you'll even make dresses. I haven't seen your legs since you were three. Right now at our someone special sale, you can get a stylist machine by singer for just $1.99
[00:13:57] Unknown:
95.
[00:13:58] Unknown:
Daddy, how do you like the dress? Oh, you look too terrific. Why can't you wear jeans like other little girls? Price is optional at participating dealers. Remember the first pickup in your life? You were probably just a kid, and the truck was probably a dull blue, had big round fenders and rode like a stone. You loved it. Well, your GMC dealer can rekindle that love of trucking you with GMC pickups that can be luxurious like the family car, and do things no car can. It was fun once, get trucking again with a GM.
[00:14:39] Unknown:
Do you remember this old rhyme? The other day upon the stair, I saw a man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today. My god, I wish he'd go away. Yes, it's amusing nonsense, but now we're going to find out whether it really is nonsense, And if it's not, where the little man goes when he goes away. Hello, operator.
[00:15:05] Unknown:
This is Nathan Riley in the penthouse. Get me Diamond Jim Brady and put in a call to Detroit, Michigan. I wanna talk to a youngster who runs a bicycle repair shop named Henry Ford. That's right. Hello? Jim? It's Nat Riley. How are all the diamonds today? Uh-huh. Listen, Jim. That 10,000 I'm betting on gentleman Jim against John O'Sullivan, I wanna parlay the payoff. What? Oh, I'll win alright. Get me down for the short end of the Truman Dewey election. Uh-huh. I'll take Truman Mets to Mets to take the pennant and the series. Right, Tim. Bye. A love to all the diamonds.
Come in. It's open. Breakfast. Just wheel the table out on the terrace. Thanks. Hello? Oh, the Detroit call to Henry Ford. Put him on. Hello. Good morning, Henry. You don't know me, so I better introduce myself. My name's Riley. Nathan Riley, Riley, and I'm an investor. That's right. Now, Henry, I heard some talk about a crazy new invention you've got in your bicycle place. I'll invest 200,000. Yes. You heard me. 200,000. I'll mail you a draft on Johnny P Morgan's trust today. No. No. Thanks. We're gonna go a long way together. Bye.
[00:16:58] Unknown:
This is the life. It's great here. Just great. What a difference from Saint Albans. I really ought to go back to the ward for a last goodbye. I'm gonna miss some of those other poor quips.
[00:17:19] Unknown:
There's one. That's Private Riley. Shoot him quick. Full syringe and hold on to him.
[00:17:30] Unknown:
Got a light Ben Hur? Yes, Lady Lila. Right here. Thanks, Ben Hur you are a think. You're the disgrace of all Rome. No, Lady Lila. No. You are not then her. You are Julius Caesar in disguise.
[00:17:46] Unknown:
I admit
[00:17:48] Unknown:
it. Why did you trick me? To obtain admission to your private boudoir. I know you hate generals. Not true. Some of my best friends are general. Let me be your best friend, Leela. No, Caesar. I will do anything for your favor. I will divorce Calpurnia.
[00:18:02] Unknown:
No, Caesar. I will divide all Gaul into three parts. No, Caesar. I will cross the Rubicon.
[00:18:09] Unknown:
You forget.
[00:18:11] Unknown:
I am am consecrated to the Goddess Vesta and to the tending of the sacred fire which burns in her temple. Oh, consecrate yourself to me, Leela. We can go far together. The Goddess will release you. She will? That she has before, ask Carlina. Tell her the truth. Vesta respects love.
[00:18:29] Unknown:
Oh, I'm afraid. Are you worth it, Caesar? To give up everything for you? Oh, I am, Lila.
[00:18:38] Unknown:
Now, I will reveal the truth. I am not Julius Caesar disguised as Ben Hur. I am Ben Hur disguised as Julius Caesar pretending to be Julius Caesar disguised as Ben Hur. Oh, what? But I'll I'll I'll put it another way. If anybody asks the real Ben Hur to stand up, I will stand up.
[00:18:59] Unknown:
Oh, I you overcome me. Oh, go. I will call the goddess on our CB and I must be alone for the sacred ritual.
[00:19:15] Unknown:
Here's another one. That's sergeant Lila Tibbetts. Shoot her quick. 10 cc and hold on to her. Well, that's two. One more to go.
[00:19:33] Unknown:
I can say no more, gentlemen of the house. I will fight for this bill on the beakage. I will fight in the cities of England, the towns, and the hamlets of our blessed isle.
[00:19:47] Unknown:
Will the right honorable remember
[00:19:52] Unknown:
No, mister Gisraeli.
[00:19:54] Unknown:
I will not yield. Will the right honorable member yield for a question?
[00:19:59] Unknown:
For a question only, mister
[00:20:02] Unknown:
Disraeli. Tell the house how much this canal of yours The Suez Canal, sir. Tell the house how much this Suez Canal, for which you so eloquently plead, will cost our majesty's
[00:20:15] Unknown:
government. One hundred thousand pounds. What? £100,000.
[00:20:23] Unknown:
You have the audacity, mister Hammer, to ask her majesty's government to squander £100,000 on a fly by night speculation called
[00:20:34] Unknown:
the Cillow's Canal? I do, sir. I do not ask. I demand. Or England, this happy breed of men, this little
[00:20:59] Unknown:
Clive. Bravo.
[00:21:00] Unknown:
Thanks, mister Disraeli. Your heckling came in just the right moment, but the house
[00:21:06] Unknown:
entirely on my side. Yes. Yes. It did. I admit it. Without false modesty, I am a brilliant politician. You are the greatest of us all. No. No. No. No. I'm not your equal. I should be prime minister to her majesty someday. But you will always be the real power behind the throne. You a flat meter. I only pay just you. Now, how about grilled bones of catacels? My Rolls Royce is waiting outside. Oh, mister D'Souce.
[00:21:40] Unknown:
Another treat like the ones we had when we were schoolboys together. Grilled bones with barbecue sauce. With what? Is that something new? Of course. We don't have it yet. I know where to get some. You go ahead. I'll join you in the rolls in a minute.
[00:22:03] Unknown:
There's number three. Corporal hammer. Grab him. Shoot him. Alright. Now we'll need three stretchers to hold him to General Harp.
[00:22:17] Unknown:
So there they sprawled in General Harp's office. Private Nathan Riley, Sergeant Layla Timmott, and Corporal Clive Hammer. They were in their hospital graves. They were torpid with sodium thiamorphic. The big office had been cleared and blazed with lights. It was lined with General Captain Edsel saw the steel faced ruthless man awaiting him and his patients, he was frightened.
[00:22:51] Unknown:
What what's all this, sir? My experts want to have a talk with you. With with with me, general, I I thought you wanted the patients from War Jake. And you.
[00:23:01] Unknown:
Didn't occur to you that I mightn't buy your disappearance bluff. Hey. But it's not a bluff, sir. It it you can ask anyone. It's an Alban. The staff still isn't talking, captain. The general has nothing but your story. And so I'll spell it out for you. The war is going badly. We've had intelligence leaks that have been disastrous.
[00:23:20] Unknown:
I got my experts together and we agree that Ward J may be the source. Oh, no, John. No. No. Then maybe you've been paid off to cover up, you and the Saint Albans staff. But they do disappear. They do. It isn't a bluff or a story.
[00:23:34] Unknown:
Work him over, gentlemen.
[00:23:40] Unknown:
My name is Edward Adsell. America is my nation. Saint Albans is my dwelling place, and heaven is my destination.
[00:23:54] Unknown:
Has he broken yet? No, general. What are they using? Truth serum, sir. Tell him to try LSD inhibition release. That's against the law, sir. Perfect's sake. Forget the law. We're fighting a war for civilization.
[00:24:09] Unknown:
Roger, general.
[00:24:14] Unknown:
Edward Adelson is my name. America is my nation. The army is my dwelling place and hell is my
[00:24:24] Unknown:
destination. No major? No break yet general.
[00:24:27] Unknown:
Stubborn isn't he?
[00:24:29] Unknown:
I don't think there's anything to break sir. You think he's telling the truth? No, sir. I think he's suffering from an honest delusion.
[00:24:37] Unknown:
Then try the id and ego pressure point treatments. That'll break his delusions.
[00:24:42] Unknown:
General, we can't. It may wreck Edsel's mind forever. Don't be squeamish, Major.
[00:24:48] Unknown:
We've got to protect the American dream no matter what the price. Get to it. Break him.
[00:24:57] Unknown:
And Edselt made a decision to drawing a vessel. I don't
[00:25:04] Unknown:
know.
[00:25:07] Unknown:
It's no use, sir. We've brought captain Edsall to the breaking point three times and there is absolutely nothing to break. He can't tell you anything. Alright. Let him stew.
[00:25:19] Unknown:
Tell them to go to work on the patients.
[00:25:22] Unknown:
General Harv, isn't that a bit much? Two sick men and a woman? Who says they're sick?
[00:25:28] Unknown:
This whole thing may be a cover up for a covert operation in Ward J and we've got to get to the bottom. I don't think your experts will cooperate, sir. What? They scream as you? Alright. I'll show them what a pro is. Come on, Major.
[00:25:44] Unknown:
Sir, I I I don't think I've Call yourselves
[00:25:48] Unknown:
experts, Where are those crocs? Oh, still out, Major? Give me three adrenaline shots. General Harp, you may be risking their lives. Come on. Come on. What's a life when I'm protecting an ideal?
[00:26:04] Unknown:
Yes, sir. Here you are. Here we go.
[00:26:07] Unknown:
This one's Nathan Riley. Hey? Come on, Riley. Wake up, boy. And pivot. Okay? Get with it, girl. Rise and shine, hammer. Everybody up. You're going to tell me what's going on in Ward J.
[00:26:30] Unknown:
Understand?
[00:26:33] Unknown:
Good lord. Captain Edsel was telling the truth.
[00:26:38] Unknown:
Captain Edsel, are you awake? Yes,
[00:26:43] Unknown:
sir. General, you saw them. You saw them disappear. I did.
[00:26:49] Unknown:
Captain Edsel, I I apologize. I wish to do the handsome thing. Colonel Edsel, this is a field promotion for a discovery over and above the call of duty. You have just won the war for the American dream.
[00:27:13] Unknown:
Yes. It's all very well to talk about a discovery that will win a war, provided you know what the discovery is and how to use it. Exactly what what has been taking place? Where are the disappearing patients going and how do they get there? Can anyone follow them? Act three may tell us. At Hager Bush. Headquarters, Saint Louis, Missouri. The 1977
[00:28:04] Unknown:
Buick Regal. It comes with Buick's terrific v six engine. It carries six people and lots of Buick comfort. It's lean. It's maneuverable in city traffic. It's the most luxurious midsize car Buick builds. Yeah. This new Regal is pretty much everything a car should be, except for one thing. It isn't yours yet, but it can be. Just see a Buick dealer for a test drive soon.
[00:29:30] Unknown:
You know, all airline fares to Jamaica are basically the same. And we all have gleaming big jets and good pilots. So what's left? What's left is what happens on board. And on board Air Jamaica, Jamaica happens. Leggo music recorded at the source. A free bamboozle. Our own special concoction. A fantastic fashion show of all the latest island creations. Stewesses who can tell you secrets about Jamaica, that girls from Tallahassee, no matter how helpful, just wouldn't know. What we have that sets Air Jamaica apart from any other airline is Jamaica. On Air Jamaica, we give you a lot more than just the plane ride.
We make you feel good all over.
[00:30:23] Unknown:
Ask your travel agent about Air Jamaica special holiday packages.
[00:30:39] Unknown:
It has been said that when one meets an unusual situation, one must handle it in an unusual manner. Unfortunately, general harp is meeting the unusual situation more
[00:31:02] Unknown:
and more experts. Alright, Colonel Edsel. You will sum up the medical aspects of war j for us. Yes, general.
[00:31:10] Unknown:
Well, certain facts are obvious. This must be a new and fantastic syndrome brought on by the horrors of modern war. This new syndrome must involve something beyond strategy and tactics. What? Teleportation,
[00:31:26] Unknown:
general.
[00:31:27] Unknown:
Oh, what? Teleportation? Teleportation. The power of mind over space. You
[00:31:33] Unknown:
mean those crocs in Ward J think their disappearance?
[00:31:37] Unknown:
Yes, sir. Evidently combat shock while destroying certain known powers of the mind must develop other latent powers which were unknown up until now. You're sure of this? They can think themselves
[00:31:49] Unknown:
somewhere else. They must, general. They get food and sleep somewhere else. They never need it in Ward J.
[00:31:56] Unknown:
That's right, major. Where do they get food and sleep?
[00:32:00] Unknown:
I want our intelligence to check. Well, our men might simply be going home, sir. They do get homesick, general. Right.
[00:32:08] Unknown:
Good suggestion. I want security to check. Family, wives, sweethearts, homes of every one of these crocs. Let the FBI handle that, but under my command. Right, general. Now here's the procedure I worked out. Etzel,
[00:32:23] Unknown:
you will set up extra beds in Ward Ward Jay. I'll send in experts to live there and observe. Can do, general. But, we'll have to work faster. They seem to be returning to Ward Jay less and less frequently. In the beginning, they would come and go almost every day. Now they seem to be staying away for weeks and months. My experts will find out what they're doing fast. I hope so, sir.
[00:32:48] Unknown:
The experts hustled, security checked, intelligence probed, the tension increased.
[00:32:59] Unknown:
General? Any reports, Major? Yes, sir. All negative. Damn. Security reports not one strange case of unexpected appearance has taken place anywhere in America. Intelligence reports the enemy has no such cases. Maybe they're keeping it secret too. I'm sure they'd try, general. This is all brand
[00:33:18] Unknown:
new. We've got to get specialists to handle it. We've got to develop new tools.
[00:33:26] Unknown:
General, excuse my breaking in like this, sir. Yeah. Our first lead, one of your experts in Ward J asked for the help of another expert.
[00:33:35] Unknown:
Mhmm. Hey. If you've got him I've got it all. What's he want? A a a lapidary. You mean an expert in precious stones? Yes, sir. What the devil for? He picked up a reference to a precious stone. He's a personnel specialist, and he can't relate it to anything in his experience. Now that I approve of. A job for every man and every man on the job. What kind of a stone?
[00:33:55] Unknown:
It's some kind of diamond nobody's ever heard
[00:33:58] Unknown:
of. A Jim Brady type. A Jim Brady type diamond?
[00:34:08] Unknown:
General, we've got it. Your expert delivered. And you won't believe it. Easy colonel, major, one at a time. What have you got? The archaeologist identified Jim Brady at once. Diamond Jim Brady. The diamond was a nickname. Yes. He was a historic person who'd been famous in little old New York sometime between governor Peter Stavison and governor
[00:34:31] Unknown:
Fiorella LaGuardia. That's ages ago. Who'd the name come from in Ward J? Private Nathan Riley. And where'd he get it? We don't know. He's not a former history student, is
[00:34:43] Unknown:
he? No, sir. I, I'm afraid to say this. There's no way he could have gotten it except if, If if what? Well, if it's something bigger than teleportation. What could be bigger than teleportation?
[00:34:58] Unknown:
Time travel?
[00:35:00] Unknown:
Time travel? You mean that's where they're going to?
[00:35:06] Unknown:
Somewhere back in time? Yes, sir. They're going somewhere back in time. How?
[00:35:10] Unknown:
How? We don't know, general. And maybe that's why they're not coming back.
[00:35:16] Unknown:
They like it better there. You mean time travel is here, not discovered through expert research
[00:35:26] Unknown:
by qualified physicists? Oh, no, sir. It's come as a plague, a disease of the war, a combat injury to ordinary man. Do you realize the colossal significance?
[00:35:36] Unknown:
We could send an army back in time and win the war before it started. We could protect the American dream of poetry and beauty and art from barbarism without ever endangering it. Yes, sir.
[00:35:51] Unknown:
If, if we could find out how they do it. That's the point.
[00:35:56] Unknown:
Those crocs can't communicate the secret of the miracle. It's for us to find the key. We will need advanced specialists, a cerebral mechanist, a cyberneticist, an autonomist, and a first rate philosophic historian. They'll go into Ward Jay, and they won't come out until they've learned the technique of time travel.
[00:36:23] Unknown:
The first three experts were easy to draft from other war departments. But there's some trouble locating a first rate historian until Alcatraz cooperated with the army and released me, temporarily, from my sentence. Me, Harry Scrim. I was professor of philosophic history at Stanford until I spoke my mind about Harp's war for the American dream, that got me into twenty years. But I'm still contemptuous of you and your war, General. Never forget that. Then why'd you agree to come, Scrim? Well, I was intrigued by the problem of Ward Jay, but I'm not an expert.
In this benighted nation of specialists, I'm the last singing grasshopper. Major, get me an entomologist. Don't bother. I'll translate. You're a nest of ants, all working and specializing
[00:37:21] Unknown:
for what? We're fighting to preserve poetry and culture and the finer things in life. Which means you're fighting to preserve
[00:37:29] Unknown:
me. That's what I've devoted my life to. And what do you do with me? Put me in jail. You were convicted of disloyal criticism. I was convicted of let's waste time arguing. Let me have all those expert reports and lock me up in Ward J. I've got to talk fast, General. You're running out of time. All while I was in Ward Jay, only three came back. They're all disappearing for keeps. Go ahead. Go ahead. I'm gonna give you the clues to something so fantastic, it'll need all your fine edge to cut into it. Now listen. Nathan Reilly goes back in time to the turn of the twentieth century.
There, he lived the life of his fondest dreams. He's a big time gambler, friend of diamond Jim Brady. He wins money because he always knows the outcome of events in advance. Such as? Truman to win the election for president. Corbett to win the heavyweight title from John l Sullivan. He makes money investing in an auto company Henry Ford is starting.
[00:38:45] Unknown:
That mean anything to you? Not without a sociological
[00:38:49] Unknown:
analyst.
[00:38:50] Unknown:
More clues. Lila Tibbetts escapes into the Roman Empire where she lives the life of her dreams as a vestal virgin plus a femme fatale. Every man adores her. Julius Caesar, Savarinola, the twentieth legion, Ben Hur. Finally, you see the fallacy? No. She also smokes cigarettes and uses a CB radio.
[00:39:14] Unknown:
Well?
[00:39:16] Unknown:
Clive Hammer escapes into nineteenth century England where he's a member of parliament and a friend of Benjamin Disraeli who takes him out in his Rolls Royce for spare ribs with barbecue sauce. You know what a Rolls Royce was? No. It was an automobile. So? General, this is a bigger discovery than teleportation or time travel. What? This can be the salvation of mankind. Those shock victims have been bombed into something so staggering. It's no wonder your experts couldn't understand it.
[00:39:52] Unknown:
What what what could be bigger than time travel, professor? Listen.
[00:39:57] Unknown:
Truman didn't run for president until the middle of the twentieth century. Riley couldn't have been Diamond Jim Brady's friend and bet on Truman at the same time. John L. Sullivan and Henry Ford don't go together either. Riley's time travel is full of anachronism. What? Leila Tivett couldn't have been her for a lover because he never existed. He was a fictional character. She's lying. And cigarettes weren't invented in Roman times. More anachronism. Automobiles weren't developed until long after Disraeli died. He couldn't have taken Kriethhammer for a ride in a Rolls Royce. They're all lying. No.
They've discovered how to turn dreams into reality, and they know how to enter them and live a happy dream life. By Hermann Harp. This is your American dream. It's miracle working, immortality, creation, mind over matter. It must be studied, explored, given to the world so that everybody can learn.
[00:41:11] Unknown:
Will you do a swim?
[00:41:14] Unknown:
I can't. I'm noncreative. You need a poet, an artist who understands the creative process and practices it. The poet?
[00:41:24] Unknown:
Are you serious?
[00:41:25] Unknown:
Certainly. Don't you know what a poet is? You've been telling us for five years that this war is being fought fought to save the poet. Don't be sarcastic, Skrim. Send a poet into war, Jay. He's the only man who can learn how they do it. A poet is half doing it himself anyway. He's the only man who can tell us and teach us this miracle. But hurry up. Time is running out. I believe you're right.
[00:41:55] Unknown:
Yes, general. Get me a poet. Right away, general.
[00:42:03] Unknown:
Trying, general. Still trying, general. Attempting to locate your poet, sir. Still locating your poet, general. How should be a poet somewhere, general? There used to be lots around.
[00:42:34] Unknown:
That's right.
[00:42:35] Unknown:
Used to be what are you laughing, I assume?
[00:42:39] Unknown:
If you'll be patient and wait, general
[00:42:42] Unknown:
Sure. Wait, general.
[00:42:45] Unknown:
Wait, you sad fool. Wait. Wait for your poet. Yes. He waited and waited and waited while America sorted feverishly through its millions of hardened and sharpened experts, its special tools to defend the dream of beauty and poetry and the better things in life. General UB Harp waited, not understanding the endless delay, the hopeless search for why Harry Schwinn laughed and laughed at this final fatal disappearance.
[00:43:31] Unknown:
I'll be back shortly. Now, a warm Christmas message from Scrooge.
[00:43:36] Unknown:
Flying home for the holidays. My humbug Greyhound announces two penny pinching travel plans from December 1 through January 2. The holiday in Merripot. Two Weeks unlimited travel for only a hundred and $39. Save one, two, even $500 over a regular round trip air coach, depending how far you journey. Or Greyhound's time to close fair, save a pair of extra arms shorter round trips out of state, charge with bank cards. Each plan allows you to take your child under 12 along free, like this tidy chap. Tim?
[00:44:13] Unknown:
Bless you, Greyhound.
[00:44:15] Unknown:
And Greyhound will carry your gifts too. Ship them in time for Christmas for sure from any Greyhound station, or from special gift shipping centers in many major city shopping centers. One more time, Nipah. Bless you, Greyhound.
[00:44:40] Unknown:
Hey. Dubonnet is a really special drink that started over in France, but you
[00:45:35] Unknown:
Hi. I'm Fred Feldman, helicopter seven ten. I'm also on the board of directors at the Queensborough Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children. Now let me ask you a a question. What are you gonna do for Christmas for a six year old kid who was thrown out of his house without a stitch of clothing on? We don't have all the answers, but the WOR Children's Christmas Fund does bring Christmas to a lot of kids in a lot of places like the Queen Shelton. Now I know times are tough, but if we don't bring Christmas to these kids, no one is. So please send whatever you can to the W. O. R. Children's Christmas Fund, box seven ten Times Square Station, New York one double o three six, and I thank
[00:46:23] Unknown:
you.
[00:46:26] Unknown:
No, it's not a happy story, and it's a story of an unhappy future which we hope will never come to pass. But there is one consolation. Now at least we know where the little man who wasn't there goes when he goes away, to a time that never was, of course. There are moments when I dream of going there too. Don't we all?
[00:46:51] Unknown:
The people in this dream included Robert Wright It takes lot of ingredients to fix or build a car, like cooking, but without the frozen dinner easy way out. EBay Motors has a 22,000,000 parts. It's always the right fitment, so you can follow any recipe to a tee. Whether it's a vintage Italian coupe that's classic like grandma's meatballs or a German luxury car that's as complicated as almost rouladen. To cook up something great in the garage, use the eBay Motors app or visit eBayMotors.com. Let's ride.
[00:47:18] Unknown:
Hey. It's Amy Brown from the Bobby Bones Show. Join me in supporting St. Jude Children's Research Hospital for a chance to win a trip to meet Megan Maroney at the twenty twenty five iHeart Country Festival in Austin, Texas on May 3 hosted by Bobby Bones. We're gonna hook you up with tickets, flights, hotel, food credits, and a meet and greet with Megan Maroney. Take action now to support St. Jude and help cure childhood cancer, and you're gonna be entered for a chance to win. Visit iheartcountrytrip.com to learn more.
Introduction to the Mystery of Ward J
The War for the American Dream
General Harp's Underground Cities Plan
Captain Edsel's Investigation
The Disappearing Patients of Ward J
The Discovery of Time Travel
Professor Scrim's Analysis
The Search for a Poet
