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In this episode, we delve into the intriguing tale of "Doctor Heidegger's Experiment," adapted from Nathaniel Hawthorne's story. Our host, DG Marshall, sets the stage with a reflection on age and the passage of time, introducing us to the eccentric Doctor Heidegger. The doctor invites four of his old friends to partake in a mysterious experiment involving water from the legendary Fountain of Youth. As the guests drink the water, they experience a temporary return to their youthful selves, leading to a revival of past rivalries and passions.
As the experiment unfolds, the guests grapple with the consequences of their newfound youth, revealing the timeless struggle between wisdom and folly. The story explores themes of regret, the passage of time, and the human desire to relive the past. Ultimately, the experiment serves as a cautionary tale about the dangers of attempting to alter the natural order of life. Join us as we explore the moral lessons embedded in this captivating narrative.
(00:49) Introduction to Doctor Heidegger's Experiment
(02:31) Doctor Heidegger's Singular Mission
(07:02) The Mysterious Experiment
(15:02) The Fountain of Youth Revealed
(25:01) Youthful Rivalries Resurface
(35:06) The Illusion of Youth Fades
(39:05) Reflections on the Experiment
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[00:00:00]
Unknown:
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[00:00:47] Unknown:
Come in. Welcome. I'm DG Marshall. A person is always startled when he hears himself seriously called old for the first time, said Oliver Wendell Holmes. Startled and perhaps more than just a trifle disconcerted. But as with so many things, age is something most of us eventually get used to. So used to, in fact, that in some cases, we seem to become unrecognizable from the persons we were in our youth. But are we? Our mystery drama, Doctor Heidegger's experiment, is based on a story by Nathaniel Hawthorne. It was adapted especially for Radio Mystery Theater by Percy Grainger and stars Gordon Heath and Robert Dryden.
It is sponsored in part by Contact, the twelve hour cold capsule, and the Buick Motor Division. I'll be back shortly with act one. Life and time are our only real possessions, someone once said. And it would seem to follow that no one who is alive can be said to be totally indigent. Yet, don't we all know people who have given up on life, who have allowed the burden of failure and disappointment to reduce them to mere cycles, content only to wait out their time? There is perhaps only one thing which could bring back such a person within the pale of the living.
Or in a small New England village, the time is the last century. An eccentric older man, doctor Heidegger, is about to pay the last of four visits to ancient friends of his on a very singular mission. Yes. Carl Metron? Yes. Who's that? Oh, job guy, Edgar. What do you want? And I didn't send for you. I've come of my own accord. Why? You performed some of your sorcery and seen me marked for illness in the curling smoke of a candle. I was hoping I might have a word with you. Oh, the social business then. No. Not entirely. Though I'm always delighted to see my oldest friend. Well, come in. Come in. Thank you.
And how are you getting on, Charles? I am, as you see me, doctor, not so very far from the grave. I shall be glad to be delivered of this life. It was your own frantic speculations which reduced you from the successful merchant you were to your present condition. I do not need to be reminded of my folly. What have you been? Do you potter about in that medieval alchemist chamber of yours? If you are referring to my studies, yes. You've quite a sinister reputation among the younger people in town. I know. What is it you've come for? I wish to invite you to my house tomorrow. For dinner, not always.
On a matter in which I would be most grateful for your assistance. Oh. Oh? For what? Oh, just one of those little experiments with which I amuse myself in my study. What kind of experiment? I'd prefer not to say until we are all gathered. All? Who else is coming? Three people, all of whom are known to you? Colonel Killebrew and Zeke Gascoyne. And the third, the widow Wycherley. Clara? She'll be there? Yes. The three of you were early loves of hers, I believe. I'm sure I don't remember. Well, I've asked them for 04:00. May I count on you as well?
But of what use can people our age be in one of your experiments? You'll understand tomorrow. Doctor, your housekeeper directed me here to your study. Carl Kiragru. Did I hit the wrong day? No. No. Not at all. Come in, please. Forgive my expression of surprise, but you see, I fancy myself as a student of human nature, Carl. And it was not my estimate that you would be the first to arrive. I admit I was never known for my reliability in the old days, doctor, but a man can change, can he not? I hope so. I'm not a hypocrite, doctor. I won't say I'm better than I am, but when one is in constant pain with the doubt and divers other disorders as I am, the wages of a divorced youth, it serves as a far more effective reproof against sin than a thousand sermons.
I fancied when you accepted my invitation yesterday. It was less from curiosity than in hope of obtaining a glass or two a port. No. My only desire is that this afternoon's activity will distract me from my pain for a brief hour too. As for liquor, I've long since sworn off it. An admirable resolution. Oh, I see you plan to put me to the test. Oh, I have no such thought. But there are four champagne glasses set out on your table here and a pitcher of a most serious sparkling liquid. The liquid is water, Colonel. Simple water.
Water In champagne glasses? Yes. It is, as one might say, the essence of the experiment I propose to do. I tell me, is Lady Wycherley coming? She is. And Charles Midland? And Zeke Gascoyne? Yes. Sir, not afraid to gather all her scissors together in the same room. But I hardly think we shall have to trouble ourselves with the ancient ancient rivalries of youth. I hope not, Colonel. I wonder what you have in mind. I never did feel at ease in this gloomy chamber, doctor, with all these reminders of the past. I've had portraits of Sylvia. Yeah. You remember her? She was your fiance. Yes.
The most dreadful sorrow of my life. You know I killed her, don't you? What? Sylvia. I poisoned her on the eve of our wedding. I thought she took sick, she did. It was a minor thing, a trifle. She would have recovered from it on her own soon enough. It was not the disease, Colonel, but the physician. I attended her myself. I mixed the powder for her, and by some error of calculation, that simple prescription sent her to her grave. Oh, doctor. That story is well known. It was not your fault. You do wrong to blame yourself, especially after all these years, excuse me.
Doctor Heidegger? Ah, the widow, Wycherley. I do come in.
[00:08:47] Unknown:
Well, fine place to receive your guest, I must say. It's gloomy dust bin of a study.
[00:08:53] Unknown:
That hasn't seen the proper end of a boom in fifty years. Do you see the colonel this year? Oh, yes. Colonel, how do you do? As well, madam, as can be expected. Indeed. Doctor Heidler, I do not believe you told me that this this person whom above all others I should wish to avoid would be yesterday. Indeed, madam. I did tell you and you, as I recollect, registered no complaint at the time. Oh, well. Then I'm glad I did not hear you. Madam, I hope that whatever was between us in the past shall not prevent us from being civil to one another in the present.
[00:09:35] Unknown:
It's, doctor, I trust you shan't belong.
[00:09:38] Unknown:
I am not used to being out these days. I know. And it has long been my professional opinion that more fresh air would do you good. Oh, easy enough for you to prescribe, doctor. But it is difficult for me to go about the town now
[00:09:54] Unknown:
knowing what people think and in what condition stands my reputation with them. Oh, you of all people should know that for it was you who pronounced my husband dead of a disease that shan't be found in any medical sect. He died of a seizure.
[00:10:12] Unknown:
A seizure brought on by the foolish weakness of a wife who could not resist
[00:10:17] Unknown:
the flatteries
[00:10:18] Unknown:
of a certain jaded dad. Come come madam. You shouldn't excite yourself. Pray have a chair.
[00:10:26] Unknown:
Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. None of it matters now I suppose. Thank goodness. I am ugly now and can do no more.
[00:10:36] Unknown:
Enter. Hello, everyone. Sorry. I'm late. I hope I haven't kept you all waiting long. No. No. We are still awaiting arrival of Zeke's Gascoigne. Have a seat, Charles. Thank you. Hello, Adam Kinigru.
[00:10:53] Unknown:
Hello, Willow, Pearl Charles. And the where is the final member of this hotdog party? Oh, I see you've made me the last one. Good afternoon, Zeke.
[00:11:05] Unknown:
Here's your chair.
[00:11:07] Unknown:
A recollection of antiques you assemble, doctor. My couplets.
[00:11:13] Unknown:
You look like the offspring of nature's dotage. Grey, decrepit, fatless, miserable creatures who sit stooping with so little life left
[00:11:25] Unknown:
even the memories of youth cannot animate us. You always were a maker of prettiest speeches.
[00:11:32] Unknown:
But for all that his tone is insulting, he speaks more truth now than he ever did as a politician. That's true. If I had it to do all over again, I should be much cleverer. I spoil you. My dear old friend, please, if we could begin while there is still light. As you know, I have asked you all here today to aid me in performing an exceedingly curious experiment.
[00:12:00] Unknown:
We don't know about your exceedingly curious experiments. Don't quit. What would be this time,
[00:12:09] Unknown:
You see here up on my desk a large black folio volume with silver clasp. Yes. It said we contain all the secrets of the black magician's art. So it is rumored, but it is not the truth. What this book does contain, among other things, of course, is my most cherished possession. Here, Pressed between these pages I've kept this withered rose. Please examine it closely. Why it's
[00:12:43] Unknown:
it's precipitously falling apart. Ready to crumble into dust like us.
[00:12:49] Unknown:
This rose blossomed five and fifty years ago. It was given me by my fiancee, Sylvia Ward, whose portrait hangs yonder. I meant to wear it in my bosom at our wedding. And for fifty five years, it has been treasured between the leaves of this old value. One can barely tell its original color. My friend, I ask you, would you deem it possible that this rose of her century could ever bloom again? Nonsense. You might as well ask whether an old woman's wrinkled face could ever bloom again. So I would think too. But please direct your attention now to this table over here.
You see this picture of cut crystal? It contains a sparkling liquid. I will lay this weird rose on its surface.
[00:13:50] Unknown:
Well, it's close. What is that? Any flower doing the same? But wait.
[00:13:59] Unknown:
It's beginning to move. Look. Look. It's sleeves are stirring. It's changing color. Good heavens. It's reviving. You see? It's regaining its original hue. And the spark
[00:14:15] Unknown:
is it's turning from round green.
[00:14:19] Unknown:
It has revived from its death like slumber. It looks now as it did when Sylvia first gave it to me.
[00:14:28] Unknown:
But,
[00:14:30] Unknown:
don't tell us how you accept it. Yes. You told us that picture contained nothing but water and so it does. But how could mere water have such an effect? Have you ever heard of the Fountain Of Youth? What? Which Prince de Leon, the Spanish explorer, went in search of two or three centuries ago? That's a myth. Like, you do not owe the city of gold, perhaps. But you see before you the results of that myth. But he he never found it. Because he never thought it in the right place. The Fountain Of Youth, if I am rightly informed, is situated in the southern part of the Floridian Peninsula, not far from Lake Macaco.
Its source is overshadowed by several gigantic magnolias, which, though number of centuries old, have been kept fresh as virus by the virtues of this wonderful water. An acquaintance of mine, knowing my curiosity in such matters, has sent me what you see in the picture. All this is very interesting if true, doctor, but what may be the effect of this fluid on people? That, my dear colonel, you shall judge for yourself, for that is why I have asked you here today. I should like you, all of you, to partake of this liquid that I may observe the degree of its potency upon the human frame.
Life is full of temptation. When we're young, we're tempted to leave it up to time to correct our mistakes. And when we're old, the temptation is to lapse to that bittersweet attitude of remorse, if only we could go back. Well, if the restoration of Doctor. Heidegger's role wasn't just a conjurer's trick, perhaps this is precisely what we shall see when I return shortly with act two. Which of us has not at one time or other had the fantasy of returning to the days of his youth armed with a knowledge of a lifetime? An experienced mind in a fresh body.
Would this not be the most potent of combinations?
[00:17:09] Unknown:
You ask this year to drink that water?
[00:17:12] Unknown:
My friends, you are welcome to as much of this admirable fluid as may restore to you the bloom of youth. But how can we be certain it isn't poisonous? Could anything poisonous have had such a rejuvenating effect on my dear Sylvia's rose? Water from the Fountain Of Youth. I don't believe it. Well, there's only one way to find out, isn't there? Colonel, may I take it then that you consent to this experiment? It's probably Holcomb, doctor, but I'm game. I've certainly got nothing to lose and perhaps a great deal to gain.
[00:17:49] Unknown:
And doctor? Yes, madam. I see only four glasses on the table, but there are five of us in this room. True.
[00:17:59] Unknown:
With your permission, I will merely watch the progress of the experiment. I have chosen you for because I have at one time or other heard each of you profess regret over the follies and passions of your youth. Well, if the colonel is willing to drink it, sell mine. Just remember, the doctor's not infallible. The other fellow consented, Zeke. What about you? I don't know. See? You never did know, Zeke. Poor floor glasses, doctor. I'm not the ignorant fool they used to be. Excellent. Plus, the experiment can begin. This is Whiterre.
[00:18:48] Unknown:
It does have a nice bottle to it. Hello?
[00:18:53] Unknown:
I just hope it's not intoxicating. So it's not too much, doctor. Moderation is a virtue and a leak.
[00:19:04] Unknown:
Well, just glad there's no air here to see us for old people making
[00:19:10] Unknown:
such fools. I bet you stay a moment before you drink. A word of caution. If this liquid should prove to have the properties which I inferred it from its effect on this road, I think it would be well that with the experience of a lifetime to direct you, you should draw up a few general rules for your guidance in passing a second time through the perils of youth. Deadlines? What do you mean? Think what a sin it would be if with your peculiar advantages, you should not become patterns of virtue and wisdom to all young people of the age. I believe we're all aware of the mistakes we made, doctor.
You don't need to remind us of them. We've repented long since. Oh, we'd be fools to ever go so astray again. Well, drink and my respectable old friends. I rejoice that I have so well selected the subjects of my experiment to, to, my own choir.
[00:20:20] Unknown:
And to happiness.
[00:20:24] Unknown:
And how do you feel? Well, it was rather pleasing.
[00:20:34] Unknown:
Not unlike a glass of mineral water. I don't feel any difference. Well, I can see a color in your confidence that wasn't there before.
[00:20:45] Unknown:
It's your imagination. No. Unless I am very much mistaken. You all look somewhat refreshed. Oh, surely not me? Why, especially you, madam. I see a distinct suffusion in your feet, Colonel. I'm feeling positively rejuvenated. Do you think this liquid could truly be the real thing? I don't feel anything with a pain in my back. Right. This is most remarkable. As I sit here, you are visibly transforming. It's true. Look at this. I don't need my glasses anymore. I can see quite well enough without them, and I don't need my cane. The gout in my leg is gone. I think it's some kind of trick.
The doctor has us under some spell. The power of suggest. It's ghosts. Then how does that explain what's happening to your hair? What? It's growing darker. Look in the mirror.
[00:21:47] Unknown:
What? I saw this. And the wrinkles in my face, they're gone. I myself thirty years ago. I look as I did at the very height of my political career. I noticed doctor. They've all been quick enough to forget about me.
[00:22:09] Unknown:
Not at all my dear widow. You look positively charming. What?
[00:22:14] Unknown:
Oh surely, Colonel. You flatter.
[00:22:17] Unknown:
No. No. No. No. You are, if I may say, in your
[00:22:23] Unknown:
box and cry. Oh, have have I really changed?
[00:22:32] Unknown:
Come. Have a look in the mirror.
[00:22:37] Unknown:
Oh. Oh. Why they're all gone. Every cruise foot. Every strand of gray hair. Oh how ridiculous this old cap is. It makes me look like a widow. I must remove it at once. Clara, your hair. Look how it shines. As golden as when I was a young woman. Oh, but I am a young woman, Doctor. Oh, my dear. Oh, doctor. Please
[00:23:07] Unknown:
favor me with. And, doctor Clive? Certainly, madam. Certainly. The experiment is going admirably. You see, I have already filled the glasses for the second round. A toast. A toast to the clever and glorious doctor. But, what have Charles and Zeke doing off in the cornices? I have just hit upon the most ingenious scheme for making money since the invention of the cotton gin. What is that? Go where there's a need with a product that fulfills that need. Is this not the first principle of town business? Yes. Well then, what is it they need in the East Indies?
The East Indies. Ice. They need ice. And where is their ice? Why? At the polls. Whole icebergs could be towed to the Indies by means of harvesting them to teams of whales. It was just such improvident speculations which led to your financial ruin before. But the cost the cost would be minimal. And think of the profit. What? I'm sure to have a monopoly, am I not? Ah, gentlemen,
[00:24:22] Unknown:
and madam, as I see the good doctor has been kind enough to refill our glasses, I think this is the perfect time to announce to you all my intention of reentering politics. Bravo.
[00:24:38] Unknown:
Good. And what causes do you intend to espouse in these tranquil times, please?
[00:24:44] Unknown:
I, America for the Americans, Natalie.
[00:24:50] Unknown:
Send the cards of immigration without threatening to rend the tough native fabric of our society. This isn't how I intended the experiment to go. The water is quite a success. It's the people who are nefarious. I feel like a new created being. Very thorough.
[00:25:10] Unknown:
Ah, that's the worst mirror again. Oh, you do, madam. How cool you do. Look at these ridiculous clothes we wear, how unflattering they are, and how old fashion.
[00:25:24] Unknown:
Remember how we used to walk all bent over and limping from the gout?
[00:25:29] Unknown:
Look at the doctor. He sits there in his high back chair and spares at us with such a disapproving expression. Oh, come doctor. You are much too solemn.
[00:25:42] Unknown:
Get up and
[00:25:43] Unknown:
dance. What a quill figure here, cut. Perhaps we should take the skeleton out of that cupboard for him. No. No. It shall be none but I come doctor. You dear old soul
[00:25:56] Unknown:
Let us dance. Excuse me, madam. I am old and dramatic, and my dancing days were over long ago. I am certain, however, that any of these gay young gentlemen would be glad of so pretty a pastor. Yes, Clara. Dance with me. No. No. No. I will be her father. It was me she promised her hand to fifty years ago. No. She's never said to me.
[00:26:23] Unknown:
But it is I who have always loved her the most. If that is true, Colonel, why did you not make good your vows at the time of my husband's death? I was free then.
[00:26:34] Unknown:
Permit me to do so now, Clara. If only we can go somewhere and be alone. Colonel, stand aside. What can you offer her but a life on an army post? Whereas I will someday be a senator. It is I who can offer you the most clever, for I will be rich beyond all your wildest imagination with your silly ice scheme. Both of you out of our way. Good heavens. What? Oh, doctor.
[00:27:06] Unknown:
We've almost forgot Maria. What is it?
[00:27:09] Unknown:
I was watching you just now. The four of you quarreling when my eye was caught by your reflections in the mirror. I could swear I saw ridiculous contention among three old and withered Granziles for the skinny ugliness of a shriveled Granban.
[00:27:32] Unknown:
What? What do you call him again? Doctor
[00:27:35] Unknown:
Heidegger, how dare you is. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be insulting.
[00:27:41] Unknown:
How old is impudence? Your naturalness
[00:27:45] Unknown:
of what I saw made me forget my tongue. Indeed, sir. If your age did not serve as your protection, I what would you do, Colonel? Would you challenge me to a duel? Three men contending for the hand of a beautiful woman. It's a timeless, so to speak. And that is precisely the problem in our story. Time. Are we in the past? Or the present? Or both? Perhaps what the doctor sees before him is reality. And what he saw in the mirror was truth. However we try to define the situation, one conclusion is inescapable. Doctor. Heidegger's experiment is not going the way he expected it to.
I shall return in a moment with Act three. Few people know how to be old. Observed a French forest. Unfortunately, his observation might be extended for, at least in the story to which we're about to return, it would seem that few people know how to be young either. You would challenge me to a duel, Colonel Killer Group. No. No. Of course not, doctor. Forgive me, please. I will. And in turn, I ask pardon of missus Witchelli for my ill chosen word. We will, miss. It's a good time. And you're quite spoiled it, doctor. A good time? Why it seemed to me that in another minute, you all should have come to blows. No. Of course not. Never mind.
[00:29:51] Unknown:
You may atone, doctor, by calling us another round of that miraculous libation.
[00:29:57] Unknown:
Madam, you have more than enough already. Any more, and you would regress to infancy. Oh, if the lady wants more, why can't she have it? Yes. You really are becoming an impossible old man, doctor. I'll loop you two. The doctor's right. If we drink any more of that water, we shall pass beyond our time. Colonel, this isn't really of your business. Your arrogance is becoming extremely irritating. You're acting like a spoiled child. I am not. You are so. Oh, please, gentlemen. You mustn't come to blows for my sake. What? Yes. The water.
Colonel, you'd better stand aside from that table. Is that a threat, Charlie? Coming from a rump like you, I consider such presumption merely insulting. I've had enough of your sneering. Oh, be careful. I take it that pathetic blow means you challenge me to a duel. Well, I yes. I do. You know that according to the rules which govern such matters, it is I as the challenge to have the choice of weapons. Gentlemen, Duling has been outlawed before the years passed. I come to your senses. Do you mean to blow each other's heads off? I am young and strong enough to take care of myself. I question that. My choice is a pistol.
As you may recall, Charlie,
[00:31:29] Unknown:
I am a crack shot. You're going to fight a duel of a movie? What?
[00:31:33] Unknown:
Oh, yes. Of course. It's over you, Clara. Yes. I'd gladly risk my life for you as proof of my devotion. What have I done? My friend, please don't you see this kind of behavior? It's forty years out of date. But I know, doctor, but what can I do?
[00:31:54] Unknown:
Poorly. Do you feel left out? I would do anything for you Clara. Anything. Well then perhaps you'll be so kind as to walk me home.
[00:32:07] Unknown:
It would make me the happiest man in this room. Clara, you can hardly expect to arrive safely at your door on the arm of this dishonest politician. Dishonest. Think of your reputation. This man's habit for graft and scandal is known everywhere.
[00:32:24] Unknown:
And what are you? Nothing but a cashier at liberty.
[00:32:27] Unknown:
If you allow this man to take your hand, Clara, you better cut your fingers after it to make sure he hasn't stolen one. Listen, Colonel, if that's what you really are. What do you mean?
[00:32:39] Unknown:
A person your age couldn't be more than a lieutenant and a second lieutenant at that. Sir,
[00:32:47] Unknown:
I will defend my rank to the death.
[00:32:51] Unknown:
Very well.
[00:32:53] Unknown:
It is you who have challenged me, Colonel. You've been appalled in my side long enough. And
[00:33:00] Unknown:
just as you have struck me,
[00:33:03] Unknown:
so I will strike you. My choice of weapons is the sword. But people don't even have swords anymore. This is bad news. Oh, no. No. No, doctor. I have a brace of old cavalry swords at home which should serve us admirably. If you'll accompany me, gentlemen, I shall dispose of you one at a time. But what about me? Oh, before I go to the field of honor in your cause, Clara, I shall deem it a privilege to walk you home. Thank you, Charles.
[00:33:35] Unknown:
It's already promised that privilege to me. No. No.
[00:33:51] Unknown:
Oh, oh
[00:34:04] Unknown:
The water is flowing all over the floor.
[00:34:08] Unknown:
Your conduct is disgraceful. Have the lessons of your own past lives been so lost on you that you would now go for each other's first the second time? Words have been said that cannot be taken back. This time nothing is going to stop us from setting account. And once the accounts are settled, what then? Will you think go on to promote the political corruption that led to your ultimate infamy and obscurity? And you, child Ledgorn, you will invest in foolish greedy schemes like floating ice to the Equator until your sons are as exhausted as your dreams, and you dwindle once again into a beggar?
And colonel, have you so quickly forgotten the pains you suffered? Do you not see that this is precisely the kind of behavior which was the source of so much unhappiness in your first lifetime? My honor. It was that. I I didn't Star, not in witchery. I appeal to you as the reason for all this contention to help me promote some common sense in this room. Well,
[00:35:21] Unknown:
perhaps, doctor,
[00:35:22] Unknown:
it would be best if you saw me home. An admirable solution, madam. And one in which no one has to feel he has lost face. You're right, doctor. We bathe badly. We seem to have no more control over our passions now than we did before. See how the sun is going down. Dusk is settling over the room. The shadows are growing long. I don't think I want to be young anymore. Neither do I. Doctor
[00:36:04] Unknown:
is condemned us to lead our lives a second time.
[00:36:09] Unknown:
And all the wisdom in the world won't stem the weariness
[00:36:13] Unknown:
we are bound to feel. I can't imagine we shall continue to find life interesting.
[00:36:20] Unknown:
My friends, I am sorry. I proposed this experiment without fully considering its consequences. I think now, too late, I see the lesson it has to teach me. That it is wrong to attempt to alter the natural order of things, for there is a reason why they are so Doctor. What's happening to your hand? What? It's the rose you're holding. It's sterling.
[00:36:53] Unknown:
What?
[00:36:54] Unknown:
The petals they're swimming. Oh. So they are. My poor Sylvia's rose is
[00:37:04] Unknown:
fading again. All its beautiful color gone.
[00:37:08] Unknown:
How quickly it regressed. It's as dry and fragile as when I first threw it into the picture. Cara, what's the matter? I it's funny. I thought I felt a twinge in my leg. A pain, perhaps. No. No. No. No. Nothing, really. I think it is, Colonel. I suspect it is a pain remarkably like a duck. No. The conclusions seem inescapable, my friends. The water is indeed potent, but its effects are temporary. Have you know more of it? All that my friend sent me was in the pitcher which you have broken. It it still so cool to hold a second. That is because you are without your cap.
[00:38:01] Unknown:
Here it is. Oh. Oh. Thank you, doctor. It's
[00:38:05] Unknown:
growing so dark. Where are my glasses? My dear old friends, welcome back. Where's my cane? I can't stand the pain in my legs a minute longer. Here it is, Colonel. Are we growing old again so soon? Come away from the mirror, widow. Oh. My face has once again lost all its place. I wish the coffin lived well. Come. Come, good lady. Yes. You are old again. And see, the water of youth is all lavished on the ground. I, for one, the moan it not. Such is the lesson you have taught me. I think, doctor, that it is time we took our leave. Yes.
Goodbye then, my lifelong companions. We have, I think, learned much today. Have we not?
[00:39:26] Unknown:
The middle of The middle of summer. It is cold, but it is the last day November.
[00:39:34] Unknown:
Would you like me to see your home, Will?
[00:39:37] Unknown:
No. No. I can make my own way. As you wish. But, as we all live in the same direction, why don't we walk together away?
[00:39:50] Unknown:
I have a matter I wish to discuss with you. Does it have anything to do with doctor Heidegger's experiment? It does. The doctor was certainly censorious, wasn't he? Indeed. Stu, I think the lesson is well taken. You stop? Mhmm. You
[00:40:10] Unknown:
surprised that you're returning to that miserable
[00:40:13] Unknown:
hovel of a room you live in? I see no alternative. No alternative?
[00:40:21] Unknown:
So none of you remember what the doctor said? Are you proposing that we travel to Florida?
[00:40:43] Unknown:
We know the general vicinity. Well, think about the events of the past hour. We came to blows. Who knows where it might have led if the effects of the water had not worn off? So
[00:41:00] Unknown:
shall we return each of us to his salutary torment?
[00:41:22] Unknown:
Man's eternal pursuit of greener pastures. Why does it so rarely occur to us to simply cultivate our own garden? Certainly, our story would have been quite different if the character in Eddy is the words of James A. Garfield, the twentieth president of The United States. If wrinkles must be written upon our brows, let them not be written upon the heart. The spirit should not grow old. I'll return with a final word shortly. Nathaniel Hawthorne, upon whose story our drama was based, is credited by some with having established the short story as an art form.
His tales often dealt with the occult, and sometimes with the loneliness and eccentricities of New Englanders. Doctor. Heider's experiment dealt with all three. Our cast included Gordon Heath, Mary Jane Higbee, Guy Sorell, and Robert Bright. The entire production was under the direction of Hyman Brown. This is EG Marshall inviting you to return to our mystery theater for another adventure in the macabre. Until next time. Pleasant.
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[00:00:47] Unknown:
Come in. Welcome. I'm DG Marshall. A person is always startled when he hears himself seriously called old for the first time, said Oliver Wendell Holmes. Startled and perhaps more than just a trifle disconcerted. But as with so many things, age is something most of us eventually get used to. So used to, in fact, that in some cases, we seem to become unrecognizable from the persons we were in our youth. But are we? Our mystery drama, Doctor Heidegger's experiment, is based on a story by Nathaniel Hawthorne. It was adapted especially for Radio Mystery Theater by Percy Grainger and stars Gordon Heath and Robert Dryden.
It is sponsored in part by Contact, the twelve hour cold capsule, and the Buick Motor Division. I'll be back shortly with act one. Life and time are our only real possessions, someone once said. And it would seem to follow that no one who is alive can be said to be totally indigent. Yet, don't we all know people who have given up on life, who have allowed the burden of failure and disappointment to reduce them to mere cycles, content only to wait out their time? There is perhaps only one thing which could bring back such a person within the pale of the living.
Or in a small New England village, the time is the last century. An eccentric older man, doctor Heidegger, is about to pay the last of four visits to ancient friends of his on a very singular mission. Yes. Carl Metron? Yes. Who's that? Oh, job guy, Edgar. What do you want? And I didn't send for you. I've come of my own accord. Why? You performed some of your sorcery and seen me marked for illness in the curling smoke of a candle. I was hoping I might have a word with you. Oh, the social business then. No. Not entirely. Though I'm always delighted to see my oldest friend. Well, come in. Come in. Thank you.
And how are you getting on, Charles? I am, as you see me, doctor, not so very far from the grave. I shall be glad to be delivered of this life. It was your own frantic speculations which reduced you from the successful merchant you were to your present condition. I do not need to be reminded of my folly. What have you been? Do you potter about in that medieval alchemist chamber of yours? If you are referring to my studies, yes. You've quite a sinister reputation among the younger people in town. I know. What is it you've come for? I wish to invite you to my house tomorrow. For dinner, not always.
On a matter in which I would be most grateful for your assistance. Oh. Oh? For what? Oh, just one of those little experiments with which I amuse myself in my study. What kind of experiment? I'd prefer not to say until we are all gathered. All? Who else is coming? Three people, all of whom are known to you? Colonel Killebrew and Zeke Gascoyne. And the third, the widow Wycherley. Clara? She'll be there? Yes. The three of you were early loves of hers, I believe. I'm sure I don't remember. Well, I've asked them for 04:00. May I count on you as well?
But of what use can people our age be in one of your experiments? You'll understand tomorrow. Doctor, your housekeeper directed me here to your study. Carl Kiragru. Did I hit the wrong day? No. No. Not at all. Come in, please. Forgive my expression of surprise, but you see, I fancy myself as a student of human nature, Carl. And it was not my estimate that you would be the first to arrive. I admit I was never known for my reliability in the old days, doctor, but a man can change, can he not? I hope so. I'm not a hypocrite, doctor. I won't say I'm better than I am, but when one is in constant pain with the doubt and divers other disorders as I am, the wages of a divorced youth, it serves as a far more effective reproof against sin than a thousand sermons.
I fancied when you accepted my invitation yesterday. It was less from curiosity than in hope of obtaining a glass or two a port. No. My only desire is that this afternoon's activity will distract me from my pain for a brief hour too. As for liquor, I've long since sworn off it. An admirable resolution. Oh, I see you plan to put me to the test. Oh, I have no such thought. But there are four champagne glasses set out on your table here and a pitcher of a most serious sparkling liquid. The liquid is water, Colonel. Simple water.
Water In champagne glasses? Yes. It is, as one might say, the essence of the experiment I propose to do. I tell me, is Lady Wycherley coming? She is. And Charles Midland? And Zeke Gascoyne? Yes. Sir, not afraid to gather all her scissors together in the same room. But I hardly think we shall have to trouble ourselves with the ancient ancient rivalries of youth. I hope not, Colonel. I wonder what you have in mind. I never did feel at ease in this gloomy chamber, doctor, with all these reminders of the past. I've had portraits of Sylvia. Yeah. You remember her? She was your fiance. Yes.
The most dreadful sorrow of my life. You know I killed her, don't you? What? Sylvia. I poisoned her on the eve of our wedding. I thought she took sick, she did. It was a minor thing, a trifle. She would have recovered from it on her own soon enough. It was not the disease, Colonel, but the physician. I attended her myself. I mixed the powder for her, and by some error of calculation, that simple prescription sent her to her grave. Oh, doctor. That story is well known. It was not your fault. You do wrong to blame yourself, especially after all these years, excuse me.
Doctor Heidegger? Ah, the widow, Wycherley. I do come in.
[00:08:47] Unknown:
Well, fine place to receive your guest, I must say. It's gloomy dust bin of a study.
[00:08:53] Unknown:
That hasn't seen the proper end of a boom in fifty years. Do you see the colonel this year? Oh, yes. Colonel, how do you do? As well, madam, as can be expected. Indeed. Doctor Heidler, I do not believe you told me that this this person whom above all others I should wish to avoid would be yesterday. Indeed, madam. I did tell you and you, as I recollect, registered no complaint at the time. Oh, well. Then I'm glad I did not hear you. Madam, I hope that whatever was between us in the past shall not prevent us from being civil to one another in the present.
[00:09:35] Unknown:
It's, doctor, I trust you shan't belong.
[00:09:38] Unknown:
I am not used to being out these days. I know. And it has long been my professional opinion that more fresh air would do you good. Oh, easy enough for you to prescribe, doctor. But it is difficult for me to go about the town now
[00:09:54] Unknown:
knowing what people think and in what condition stands my reputation with them. Oh, you of all people should know that for it was you who pronounced my husband dead of a disease that shan't be found in any medical sect. He died of a seizure.
[00:10:12] Unknown:
A seizure brought on by the foolish weakness of a wife who could not resist
[00:10:17] Unknown:
the flatteries
[00:10:18] Unknown:
of a certain jaded dad. Come come madam. You shouldn't excite yourself. Pray have a chair.
[00:10:26] Unknown:
Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. None of it matters now I suppose. Thank goodness. I am ugly now and can do no more.
[00:10:36] Unknown:
Enter. Hello, everyone. Sorry. I'm late. I hope I haven't kept you all waiting long. No. No. We are still awaiting arrival of Zeke's Gascoigne. Have a seat, Charles. Thank you. Hello, Adam Kinigru.
[00:10:53] Unknown:
Hello, Willow, Pearl Charles. And the where is the final member of this hotdog party? Oh, I see you've made me the last one. Good afternoon, Zeke.
[00:11:05] Unknown:
Here's your chair.
[00:11:07] Unknown:
A recollection of antiques you assemble, doctor. My couplets.
[00:11:13] Unknown:
You look like the offspring of nature's dotage. Grey, decrepit, fatless, miserable creatures who sit stooping with so little life left
[00:11:25] Unknown:
even the memories of youth cannot animate us. You always were a maker of prettiest speeches.
[00:11:32] Unknown:
But for all that his tone is insulting, he speaks more truth now than he ever did as a politician. That's true. If I had it to do all over again, I should be much cleverer. I spoil you. My dear old friend, please, if we could begin while there is still light. As you know, I have asked you all here today to aid me in performing an exceedingly curious experiment.
[00:12:00] Unknown:
We don't know about your exceedingly curious experiments. Don't quit. What would be this time,
[00:12:09] Unknown:
You see here up on my desk a large black folio volume with silver clasp. Yes. It said we contain all the secrets of the black magician's art. So it is rumored, but it is not the truth. What this book does contain, among other things, of course, is my most cherished possession. Here, Pressed between these pages I've kept this withered rose. Please examine it closely. Why it's
[00:12:43] Unknown:
it's precipitously falling apart. Ready to crumble into dust like us.
[00:12:49] Unknown:
This rose blossomed five and fifty years ago. It was given me by my fiancee, Sylvia Ward, whose portrait hangs yonder. I meant to wear it in my bosom at our wedding. And for fifty five years, it has been treasured between the leaves of this old value. One can barely tell its original color. My friend, I ask you, would you deem it possible that this rose of her century could ever bloom again? Nonsense. You might as well ask whether an old woman's wrinkled face could ever bloom again. So I would think too. But please direct your attention now to this table over here.
You see this picture of cut crystal? It contains a sparkling liquid. I will lay this weird rose on its surface.
[00:13:50] Unknown:
Well, it's close. What is that? Any flower doing the same? But wait.
[00:13:59] Unknown:
It's beginning to move. Look. Look. It's sleeves are stirring. It's changing color. Good heavens. It's reviving. You see? It's regaining its original hue. And the spark
[00:14:15] Unknown:
is it's turning from round green.
[00:14:19] Unknown:
It has revived from its death like slumber. It looks now as it did when Sylvia first gave it to me.
[00:14:28] Unknown:
But,
[00:14:30] Unknown:
don't tell us how you accept it. Yes. You told us that picture contained nothing but water and so it does. But how could mere water have such an effect? Have you ever heard of the Fountain Of Youth? What? Which Prince de Leon, the Spanish explorer, went in search of two or three centuries ago? That's a myth. Like, you do not owe the city of gold, perhaps. But you see before you the results of that myth. But he he never found it. Because he never thought it in the right place. The Fountain Of Youth, if I am rightly informed, is situated in the southern part of the Floridian Peninsula, not far from Lake Macaco.
Its source is overshadowed by several gigantic magnolias, which, though number of centuries old, have been kept fresh as virus by the virtues of this wonderful water. An acquaintance of mine, knowing my curiosity in such matters, has sent me what you see in the picture. All this is very interesting if true, doctor, but what may be the effect of this fluid on people? That, my dear colonel, you shall judge for yourself, for that is why I have asked you here today. I should like you, all of you, to partake of this liquid that I may observe the degree of its potency upon the human frame.
Life is full of temptation. When we're young, we're tempted to leave it up to time to correct our mistakes. And when we're old, the temptation is to lapse to that bittersweet attitude of remorse, if only we could go back. Well, if the restoration of Doctor. Heidegger's role wasn't just a conjurer's trick, perhaps this is precisely what we shall see when I return shortly with act two. Which of us has not at one time or other had the fantasy of returning to the days of his youth armed with a knowledge of a lifetime? An experienced mind in a fresh body.
Would this not be the most potent of combinations?
[00:17:09] Unknown:
You ask this year to drink that water?
[00:17:12] Unknown:
My friends, you are welcome to as much of this admirable fluid as may restore to you the bloom of youth. But how can we be certain it isn't poisonous? Could anything poisonous have had such a rejuvenating effect on my dear Sylvia's rose? Water from the Fountain Of Youth. I don't believe it. Well, there's only one way to find out, isn't there? Colonel, may I take it then that you consent to this experiment? It's probably Holcomb, doctor, but I'm game. I've certainly got nothing to lose and perhaps a great deal to gain.
[00:17:49] Unknown:
And doctor? Yes, madam. I see only four glasses on the table, but there are five of us in this room. True.
[00:17:59] Unknown:
With your permission, I will merely watch the progress of the experiment. I have chosen you for because I have at one time or other heard each of you profess regret over the follies and passions of your youth. Well, if the colonel is willing to drink it, sell mine. Just remember, the doctor's not infallible. The other fellow consented, Zeke. What about you? I don't know. See? You never did know, Zeke. Poor floor glasses, doctor. I'm not the ignorant fool they used to be. Excellent. Plus, the experiment can begin. This is Whiterre.
[00:18:48] Unknown:
It does have a nice bottle to it. Hello?
[00:18:53] Unknown:
I just hope it's not intoxicating. So it's not too much, doctor. Moderation is a virtue and a leak.
[00:19:04] Unknown:
Well, just glad there's no air here to see us for old people making
[00:19:10] Unknown:
such fools. I bet you stay a moment before you drink. A word of caution. If this liquid should prove to have the properties which I inferred it from its effect on this road, I think it would be well that with the experience of a lifetime to direct you, you should draw up a few general rules for your guidance in passing a second time through the perils of youth. Deadlines? What do you mean? Think what a sin it would be if with your peculiar advantages, you should not become patterns of virtue and wisdom to all young people of the age. I believe we're all aware of the mistakes we made, doctor.
You don't need to remind us of them. We've repented long since. Oh, we'd be fools to ever go so astray again. Well, drink and my respectable old friends. I rejoice that I have so well selected the subjects of my experiment to, to, my own choir.
[00:20:20] Unknown:
And to happiness.
[00:20:24] Unknown:
And how do you feel? Well, it was rather pleasing.
[00:20:34] Unknown:
Not unlike a glass of mineral water. I don't feel any difference. Well, I can see a color in your confidence that wasn't there before.
[00:20:45] Unknown:
It's your imagination. No. Unless I am very much mistaken. You all look somewhat refreshed. Oh, surely not me? Why, especially you, madam. I see a distinct suffusion in your feet, Colonel. I'm feeling positively rejuvenated. Do you think this liquid could truly be the real thing? I don't feel anything with a pain in my back. Right. This is most remarkable. As I sit here, you are visibly transforming. It's true. Look at this. I don't need my glasses anymore. I can see quite well enough without them, and I don't need my cane. The gout in my leg is gone. I think it's some kind of trick.
The doctor has us under some spell. The power of suggest. It's ghosts. Then how does that explain what's happening to your hair? What? It's growing darker. Look in the mirror.
[00:21:47] Unknown:
What? I saw this. And the wrinkles in my face, they're gone. I myself thirty years ago. I look as I did at the very height of my political career. I noticed doctor. They've all been quick enough to forget about me.
[00:22:09] Unknown:
Not at all my dear widow. You look positively charming. What?
[00:22:14] Unknown:
Oh surely, Colonel. You flatter.
[00:22:17] Unknown:
No. No. No. No. You are, if I may say, in your
[00:22:23] Unknown:
box and cry. Oh, have have I really changed?
[00:22:32] Unknown:
Come. Have a look in the mirror.
[00:22:37] Unknown:
Oh. Oh. Why they're all gone. Every cruise foot. Every strand of gray hair. Oh how ridiculous this old cap is. It makes me look like a widow. I must remove it at once. Clara, your hair. Look how it shines. As golden as when I was a young woman. Oh, but I am a young woman, Doctor. Oh, my dear. Oh, doctor. Please
[00:23:07] Unknown:
favor me with. And, doctor Clive? Certainly, madam. Certainly. The experiment is going admirably. You see, I have already filled the glasses for the second round. A toast. A toast to the clever and glorious doctor. But, what have Charles and Zeke doing off in the cornices? I have just hit upon the most ingenious scheme for making money since the invention of the cotton gin. What is that? Go where there's a need with a product that fulfills that need. Is this not the first principle of town business? Yes. Well then, what is it they need in the East Indies?
The East Indies. Ice. They need ice. And where is their ice? Why? At the polls. Whole icebergs could be towed to the Indies by means of harvesting them to teams of whales. It was just such improvident speculations which led to your financial ruin before. But the cost the cost would be minimal. And think of the profit. What? I'm sure to have a monopoly, am I not? Ah, gentlemen,
[00:24:22] Unknown:
and madam, as I see the good doctor has been kind enough to refill our glasses, I think this is the perfect time to announce to you all my intention of reentering politics. Bravo.
[00:24:38] Unknown:
Good. And what causes do you intend to espouse in these tranquil times, please?
[00:24:44] Unknown:
I, America for the Americans, Natalie.
[00:24:50] Unknown:
Send the cards of immigration without threatening to rend the tough native fabric of our society. This isn't how I intended the experiment to go. The water is quite a success. It's the people who are nefarious. I feel like a new created being. Very thorough.
[00:25:10] Unknown:
Ah, that's the worst mirror again. Oh, you do, madam. How cool you do. Look at these ridiculous clothes we wear, how unflattering they are, and how old fashion.
[00:25:24] Unknown:
Remember how we used to walk all bent over and limping from the gout?
[00:25:29] Unknown:
Look at the doctor. He sits there in his high back chair and spares at us with such a disapproving expression. Oh, come doctor. You are much too solemn.
[00:25:42] Unknown:
Get up and
[00:25:43] Unknown:
dance. What a quill figure here, cut. Perhaps we should take the skeleton out of that cupboard for him. No. No. It shall be none but I come doctor. You dear old soul
[00:25:56] Unknown:
Let us dance. Excuse me, madam. I am old and dramatic, and my dancing days were over long ago. I am certain, however, that any of these gay young gentlemen would be glad of so pretty a pastor. Yes, Clara. Dance with me. No. No. No. I will be her father. It was me she promised her hand to fifty years ago. No. She's never said to me.
[00:26:23] Unknown:
But it is I who have always loved her the most. If that is true, Colonel, why did you not make good your vows at the time of my husband's death? I was free then.
[00:26:34] Unknown:
Permit me to do so now, Clara. If only we can go somewhere and be alone. Colonel, stand aside. What can you offer her but a life on an army post? Whereas I will someday be a senator. It is I who can offer you the most clever, for I will be rich beyond all your wildest imagination with your silly ice scheme. Both of you out of our way. Good heavens. What? Oh, doctor.
[00:27:06] Unknown:
We've almost forgot Maria. What is it?
[00:27:09] Unknown:
I was watching you just now. The four of you quarreling when my eye was caught by your reflections in the mirror. I could swear I saw ridiculous contention among three old and withered Granziles for the skinny ugliness of a shriveled Granban.
[00:27:32] Unknown:
What? What do you call him again? Doctor
[00:27:35] Unknown:
Heidegger, how dare you is. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be insulting.
[00:27:41] Unknown:
How old is impudence? Your naturalness
[00:27:45] Unknown:
of what I saw made me forget my tongue. Indeed, sir. If your age did not serve as your protection, I what would you do, Colonel? Would you challenge me to a duel? Three men contending for the hand of a beautiful woman. It's a timeless, so to speak. And that is precisely the problem in our story. Time. Are we in the past? Or the present? Or both? Perhaps what the doctor sees before him is reality. And what he saw in the mirror was truth. However we try to define the situation, one conclusion is inescapable. Doctor. Heidegger's experiment is not going the way he expected it to.
I shall return in a moment with Act three. Few people know how to be old. Observed a French forest. Unfortunately, his observation might be extended for, at least in the story to which we're about to return, it would seem that few people know how to be young either. You would challenge me to a duel, Colonel Killer Group. No. No. Of course not, doctor. Forgive me, please. I will. And in turn, I ask pardon of missus Witchelli for my ill chosen word. We will, miss. It's a good time. And you're quite spoiled it, doctor. A good time? Why it seemed to me that in another minute, you all should have come to blows. No. Of course not. Never mind.
[00:29:51] Unknown:
You may atone, doctor, by calling us another round of that miraculous libation.
[00:29:57] Unknown:
Madam, you have more than enough already. Any more, and you would regress to infancy. Oh, if the lady wants more, why can't she have it? Yes. You really are becoming an impossible old man, doctor. I'll loop you two. The doctor's right. If we drink any more of that water, we shall pass beyond our time. Colonel, this isn't really of your business. Your arrogance is becoming extremely irritating. You're acting like a spoiled child. I am not. You are so. Oh, please, gentlemen. You mustn't come to blows for my sake. What? Yes. The water.
Colonel, you'd better stand aside from that table. Is that a threat, Charlie? Coming from a rump like you, I consider such presumption merely insulting. I've had enough of your sneering. Oh, be careful. I take it that pathetic blow means you challenge me to a duel. Well, I yes. I do. You know that according to the rules which govern such matters, it is I as the challenge to have the choice of weapons. Gentlemen, Duling has been outlawed before the years passed. I come to your senses. Do you mean to blow each other's heads off? I am young and strong enough to take care of myself. I question that. My choice is a pistol.
As you may recall, Charlie,
[00:31:29] Unknown:
I am a crack shot. You're going to fight a duel of a movie? What?
[00:31:33] Unknown:
Oh, yes. Of course. It's over you, Clara. Yes. I'd gladly risk my life for you as proof of my devotion. What have I done? My friend, please don't you see this kind of behavior? It's forty years out of date. But I know, doctor, but what can I do?
[00:31:54] Unknown:
Poorly. Do you feel left out? I would do anything for you Clara. Anything. Well then perhaps you'll be so kind as to walk me home.
[00:32:07] Unknown:
It would make me the happiest man in this room. Clara, you can hardly expect to arrive safely at your door on the arm of this dishonest politician. Dishonest. Think of your reputation. This man's habit for graft and scandal is known everywhere.
[00:32:24] Unknown:
And what are you? Nothing but a cashier at liberty.
[00:32:27] Unknown:
If you allow this man to take your hand, Clara, you better cut your fingers after it to make sure he hasn't stolen one. Listen, Colonel, if that's what you really are. What do you mean?
[00:32:39] Unknown:
A person your age couldn't be more than a lieutenant and a second lieutenant at that. Sir,
[00:32:47] Unknown:
I will defend my rank to the death.
[00:32:51] Unknown:
Very well.
[00:32:53] Unknown:
It is you who have challenged me, Colonel. You've been appalled in my side long enough. And
[00:33:00] Unknown:
just as you have struck me,
[00:33:03] Unknown:
so I will strike you. My choice of weapons is the sword. But people don't even have swords anymore. This is bad news. Oh, no. No. No, doctor. I have a brace of old cavalry swords at home which should serve us admirably. If you'll accompany me, gentlemen, I shall dispose of you one at a time. But what about me? Oh, before I go to the field of honor in your cause, Clara, I shall deem it a privilege to walk you home. Thank you, Charles.
[00:33:35] Unknown:
It's already promised that privilege to me. No. No.
[00:33:51] Unknown:
Oh, oh
[00:34:04] Unknown:
The water is flowing all over the floor.
[00:34:08] Unknown:
Your conduct is disgraceful. Have the lessons of your own past lives been so lost on you that you would now go for each other's first the second time? Words have been said that cannot be taken back. This time nothing is going to stop us from setting account. And once the accounts are settled, what then? Will you think go on to promote the political corruption that led to your ultimate infamy and obscurity? And you, child Ledgorn, you will invest in foolish greedy schemes like floating ice to the Equator until your sons are as exhausted as your dreams, and you dwindle once again into a beggar?
And colonel, have you so quickly forgotten the pains you suffered? Do you not see that this is precisely the kind of behavior which was the source of so much unhappiness in your first lifetime? My honor. It was that. I I didn't Star, not in witchery. I appeal to you as the reason for all this contention to help me promote some common sense in this room. Well,
[00:35:21] Unknown:
perhaps, doctor,
[00:35:22] Unknown:
it would be best if you saw me home. An admirable solution, madam. And one in which no one has to feel he has lost face. You're right, doctor. We bathe badly. We seem to have no more control over our passions now than we did before. See how the sun is going down. Dusk is settling over the room. The shadows are growing long. I don't think I want to be young anymore. Neither do I. Doctor
[00:36:04] Unknown:
is condemned us to lead our lives a second time.
[00:36:09] Unknown:
And all the wisdom in the world won't stem the weariness
[00:36:13] Unknown:
we are bound to feel. I can't imagine we shall continue to find life interesting.
[00:36:20] Unknown:
My friends, I am sorry. I proposed this experiment without fully considering its consequences. I think now, too late, I see the lesson it has to teach me. That it is wrong to attempt to alter the natural order of things, for there is a reason why they are so Doctor. What's happening to your hand? What? It's the rose you're holding. It's sterling.
[00:36:53] Unknown:
What?
[00:36:54] Unknown:
The petals they're swimming. Oh. So they are. My poor Sylvia's rose is
[00:37:04] Unknown:
fading again. All its beautiful color gone.
[00:37:08] Unknown:
How quickly it regressed. It's as dry and fragile as when I first threw it into the picture. Cara, what's the matter? I it's funny. I thought I felt a twinge in my leg. A pain, perhaps. No. No. No. No. Nothing, really. I think it is, Colonel. I suspect it is a pain remarkably like a duck. No. The conclusions seem inescapable, my friends. The water is indeed potent, but its effects are temporary. Have you know more of it? All that my friend sent me was in the pitcher which you have broken. It it still so cool to hold a second. That is because you are without your cap.
[00:38:01] Unknown:
Here it is. Oh. Oh. Thank you, doctor. It's
[00:38:05] Unknown:
growing so dark. Where are my glasses? My dear old friends, welcome back. Where's my cane? I can't stand the pain in my legs a minute longer. Here it is, Colonel. Are we growing old again so soon? Come away from the mirror, widow. Oh. My face has once again lost all its place. I wish the coffin lived well. Come. Come, good lady. Yes. You are old again. And see, the water of youth is all lavished on the ground. I, for one, the moan it not. Such is the lesson you have taught me. I think, doctor, that it is time we took our leave. Yes.
Goodbye then, my lifelong companions. We have, I think, learned much today. Have we not?
[00:39:26] Unknown:
The middle of The middle of summer. It is cold, but it is the last day November.
[00:39:34] Unknown:
Would you like me to see your home, Will?
[00:39:37] Unknown:
No. No. I can make my own way. As you wish. But, as we all live in the same direction, why don't we walk together away?
[00:39:50] Unknown:
I have a matter I wish to discuss with you. Does it have anything to do with doctor Heidegger's experiment? It does. The doctor was certainly censorious, wasn't he? Indeed. Stu, I think the lesson is well taken. You stop? Mhmm. You
[00:40:10] Unknown:
surprised that you're returning to that miserable
[00:40:13] Unknown:
hovel of a room you live in? I see no alternative. No alternative?
[00:40:21] Unknown:
So none of you remember what the doctor said? Are you proposing that we travel to Florida?
[00:40:43] Unknown:
We know the general vicinity. Well, think about the events of the past hour. We came to blows. Who knows where it might have led if the effects of the water had not worn off? So
[00:41:00] Unknown:
shall we return each of us to his salutary torment?
[00:41:22] Unknown:
Man's eternal pursuit of greener pastures. Why does it so rarely occur to us to simply cultivate our own garden? Certainly, our story would have been quite different if the character in Eddy is the words of James A. Garfield, the twentieth president of The United States. If wrinkles must be written upon our brows, let them not be written upon the heart. The spirit should not grow old. I'll return with a final word shortly. Nathaniel Hawthorne, upon whose story our drama was based, is credited by some with having established the short story as an art form.
His tales often dealt with the occult, and sometimes with the loneliness and eccentricities of New Englanders. Doctor. Heider's experiment dealt with all three. Our cast included Gordon Heath, Mary Jane Higbee, Guy Sorell, and Robert Bright. The entire production was under the direction of Hyman Brown. This is EG Marshall inviting you to return to our mystery theater for another adventure in the macabre. Until next time. Pleasant.
