HyperNatural - Show Sponsor
The Best Men’s Polo Shirts-Men’s Journal
HYPER NATURAL “The Best Men’s Polo Shirts of 2024” – Men’s Journal. HyperNatural offers polos, tees, and button-ups that deliver unmatched comfort and style, featuring Hyper-Cool Jade® technology for natural cooling. Enjoy an exclusive discount with my promo code! 20% Off HYPER NATURAL
Join host E.G. Marshall as he takes you on a thrilling journey aboard a Caribbean cruise in this episode of CBS Radio Mystery Theater. The story, "A Matter of Custom," written by Ian Myer, unfolds with Sam and Millie Gorman embarking on what should be a relaxing getaway. However, Millie's keen eye for detail and love for detective novels lead her to suspect something amiss with their mysterious shipmates, Mr. and Mrs. Rivers. As the cruise progresses, Millie's suspicions grow, and she finds herself entangled in a web of intrigue and danger.
As the Gormans navigate their way through the cruise, they encounter a series of puzzling events that hint at a deeper conspiracy involving smuggling and deception. Millie's curiosity and Sam's cautious nature clash as they try to enjoy their vacation while unraveling the mystery surrounding their enigmatic neighbors. With a mix of suspense, humor, and unexpected twists, this episode keeps listeners on the edge of their seats, proving that sometimes the most relaxing vacations can turn into the most thrilling adventures.
(00:00) Welcome to the Caribbean Cruise
(01:51) A World Tour in Miniature
(10:00) Cabin Mix-Up and Mysterious Neighbors
(15:12) A Stroll in Venezuela
(27:36) The Threat Unveiled
(35:11) The Final Confrontation
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Entertainment Radio | Broadcasting Classic Radio Shows | Patreon
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
The CBS Radio Mystery Theater presents Come in. Welcome. I'm EG Marshall. Among the more expensive and certainly the most relaxing of pastimes is the institution of the Caribbean cruise. We have chartered for you one of the happiest, smoothest, most relaxing relaxing of ships. Everything special, everything happy, everything exciting and romantic, and just for you. Doesn't it sound enticing? No wonder people rush to get away from it all. Most people, not quite all
[00:00:57] Unknown:
as this story will bear out. Let's hurry and try to catch up to them, Sam. What? So I can make certain. Of what? You may think I'm crazy, but that's not the same man. You're right, Millie. I think you're crazy.
[00:01:22] Unknown:
Oh, mister Dama, A Matter of Custom was written especially for the mystery theater by Ian Myer and stars Mary Jane Higbee and Cort Benson. It is sponsored in part by XLACS and True Value Hardware stores. I'll be back shortly with act one. A world tour in miniature. Eight ports of call. Each rich in national identity. Haiti, Jamaica, Aruba, Venezuela, Grenada. Oh, forgive me. You caught me leafing through the travel brochures again. I'm beginning to get the wanderlust myself. I mean, just listen. The most gorgeous white beaches in the world. Elegance, entertainment, gourmet food, everything at your fingertips.
What else could anyone do but relax and forget that the world is too much with us? But then, as you'll see, it takes all kinds of people. Lily, come on. The cab's downstairs already. In a minute, Sam. You know planes don't wait.
[00:02:49] Unknown:
What are you doing? I'm just making sure the windows were closed and the lights are all off. Oh, I already did that. Oh, you. Who could trust you? I'll just double check the living room and the dining room. Millie, I got the elevator waiting. So we can wait? Uh-huh. You see, you forgot in the dining room. What? One of the window handles wasn't closed all the way. She looks like an angel and she acts like a snoop. That's your little wife. But what would you do without her, Sam?
[00:03:18] Unknown:
If you don't get a move on, Millie, you will be without me. You got everything. Why else would you put up with me for thirty five years? I wonder I did.
[00:03:28] Unknown:
Got tickets? Yes. The passport? We don't need them, but yes.
[00:03:32] Unknown:
Credit cards and travel's checks? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I've got them all. Your glasses? You brighten my pocket. The extra one? Yeah. I put some in the big bag. Oh, just one more thing. What, Millie? Just this shopping bag. Millie, you can't take anything else. We're overweight already. What's in there? My detective novel. You know something? You should have been the first lady cop. Eagle Eye Millie. If I was a crook and you were around, I'd take the pledge. Oh, you're just buttering me up. But if I had the chance Well, I'll give you one right now. What? One last chance to get going. Or we're gonna miss
[00:04:18] Unknown:
the boat. Will you move it, Howie? We gotta get out to the airport. What's the hurry, Wanda? I ain't all the way awake yet. Five in the AM. It's a charter flight. We gotta get there early to get good seats. Look, once you get to the boat, you can sleep all you want. If I can sleep for running scared over this bill you got me in. And it's the best break you ever had in your life. Who says? Me. You weren't doing so hot on your own. At least I was clean. Yeah. That's only because you were clean if they wanted you. That's why I didn't get you the the break with the organization. Look. Now can we get this show on the road and you out of the bathroom?
[00:04:56] Unknown:
Okay. Okay.
[00:04:58] Unknown:
You get the elevator and I'll get the bags out on the landing. I'll help. I got my own cosmetic bag. And give me a sling bag. That bag, that that sets all I can take ashore of, It's got everything you need overnight stuff, change, you raise it to shave the beard off and look. You got your old passport with the right picture?
[00:05:19] Unknown:
Don't worry. It's my key back home unless.
[00:05:23] Unknown:
What do you mean unless?
[00:05:25] Unknown:
Suppose the big man suppose Louis Marino decides he'd feel more secure the less people know he's back in The US Of A
[00:05:34] Unknown:
Suppose he took a notion to waste me? Oh, really wouldn't do that. Mm-mm. Wish I was so sure. It can be. On account of the old days. What old days?
[00:05:44] Unknown:
Hey, wait a minute. Exactly how close were you in the old days with him you could be so sure?
[00:05:51] Unknown:
Close enough, Howie.
[00:05:53] Unknown:
But it it was family. Yeah. I don't like that family business.
[00:05:59] Unknown:
Howie. Nobody but Tony Fats and maybe Artie the pawnbroker know.
[00:06:04] Unknown:
But just to set your mind at rest Set my mind at rest if you can What's Louis Marino to you then or now? He's my brother, Holly
[00:06:15] Unknown:
That's practically the only reason I got you into this Practically? What other reason? I'll tell you that after we get on the boat. May I see your tickets, please? The, the the guy already took them. I just want to look at the folder to get your seat number, sir. That's Row 8 C And D. The two aisle seats, 8 Row 7. Hey. Wait a minute. We all get to sit together? I'm sorry, sir. You're quite late. Just six more passengers, and we'll be taking off. They all have aisle seats too. Look. I I don't like the idea of sitting without them. Don't start a fuss. Yeah. But but but No.
Let's
[00:07:00] Unknown:
go. Okay, Wanda.
[00:07:02] Unknown:
You take the one on the left. I'll take the one on the right.
[00:07:05] Unknown:
I'll put your bag under the seat, You wanna handle your coat? No. We're black in the eye. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Sure. Oh, is this, this shopping bag here under the feet, ma'am? Is this yours? Oh, yes. I'm sorry. Is it in your way? Well, I I would like to get rid of this here bag of mine. Oh, well,
[00:07:24] Unknown:
maybe we could put mine up above. You what to miss? Books.
[00:07:28] Unknown:
Detective stories. Oh, I I I don't think they'd let you put anything heavy up there. Oh, dear. What's in your bag? I mean, is it heavy? Oh, well, well, too heavy, I guess, for, Oh, I'm sorry. Just give me a second. Oh, may I shove mine alongside of you? Oh, yes. Let me help. Oh. Oh. Oh, okay.
[00:07:52] Unknown:
I knocked your dark glasses off. Oh, that's alright, ma'am.
[00:07:56] Unknown:
Yeah. Why don't you go on past me? I'm gonna have to look on the floor for my glasses. Oh, let me help you. What happened, Willie? Oh, this gentleman dropped his glasses, Sam. Uh-huh.
[00:08:07] Unknown:
Oh, wait a minute. I have them.
[00:08:09] Unknown:
I didn't know you were shortsighted. I'm so sorry. You're shortsighted? Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That that's why I have to wear the glasses. The weak eyes. Oh, now you'd never know it to look at them. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. Yeah. Just get my coat
[00:08:25] Unknown:
off. You alright, Howie?
[00:08:27] Unknown:
I've got some nosy old thing here who wants to talk my ear off. My guy next to me doesn't speak English. Wanna trade? It could be safer. Why not?
[00:08:38] Unknown:
Mind if I join you? Well, there there was a gentleman. Mhmm. That's my husband. Oh, dear. I hope he isn't mad at me. Why? I'm afraid I knocked his glasses off my mistake. Oh, no. It isn't that. I I I just forgot he always likes to sit with his left hand. It's free. He's left handed. In case he wants to write. He's a writer? Well, now isn't that interesting? With his left hand too, what books have you written? Have you I I don't think he'd wanna talk about that. You see, he's on a cruise to to get away from all that. Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome You say that again. Particularly under the circumstances. You mean because we got an outside room instead of inside? I think we got somebody else's cabin. So don't make waves, particularly on an ocean floor.
Oh, look. We have a porthole and all. Yeah. I know. We'll have to write the tour people and thanks, and we got such nice treatment. Oh, and that reminds me. What reminds you what? You know the fellow I knocked the glasses off of who wouldn't sit with me on the plane but send his wife to sit?
[00:10:12] Unknown:
Yeah. Yeah. I I remember him some.
[00:10:15] Unknown:
His wife lied about him. How?
[00:10:18] Unknown:
Who what way?
[00:10:20] Unknown:
Remember? She said he was left handed. Well, he wasn't. Left handed, sir. Who? The man whose wife sat next to us on the plane and never said her name. I'm lost. Ma'am. You don't listen. The man's wife said he wanted to have his left hand free because he was a writer. Yeah. Well, if you say so. So how come when we came aboard with all the things to sign and all, he signed right?
[00:10:45] Unknown:
Really, I don't know. Maybe the guy has ambled something around it. Are we on a holiday or aren't we?
[00:10:55] Unknown:
You know we are precious. 35 anniversary.
[00:10:59] Unknown:
Yeah.
[00:11:01] Unknown:
So we'll concentrate on that and count our blessings. And we have more than enough. Mhmm. It's a wonderful cabin on top of it all. Except I do feel a little guilty. Maybe we're doing somebody else out of what they should have. Well, if we are, we'll soon find out.
[00:11:18] Unknown:
Meantime, like you said, why should we make waves?
[00:11:29] Unknown:
What kind of lousy closet is this? I don't know, Howie. Were we supposed to have an inside segroom? Not the way I heard it, but So why do we have to take a runaround there? What are you doing? I'm phoning that jerk who said he was the purser.
[00:11:44] Unknown:
I wanna know what the What are you talking about? Obviously, there's been a mix up and cabin assignment.
[00:11:52] Unknown:
I'm gonna get it straightened out right now. If I was you, Howie, I wouldn't. Why not? Under the circumstances, I figure the last thing we wanna do is attract
[00:12:09] Unknown:
board? The CIA?
[00:12:12] Unknown:
So how would the man himself feel about this pint sized hotbox? That's his worry when his time comes. Right now, ours is to stay real low key.
[00:12:29] Unknown:
We remind you that today is not a tender day. You may depart straight to the dock. If you're not going on the tour, La Guay itself is in the airport. Do you have a glass of beer?
[00:12:40] Unknown:
No. I don't need you at a station where are they? Oh, Millie.
[00:12:45] Unknown:
I can't keep on going to Millie. That I gotta work I broke them. I got hat on them in the plane. Oh, why'd you turn off what they're telling us? Well, I I'm tired of being told. I'd I'd I'd like to move around by myself. Well, you won't get far without your glasses. What's wrong with your extra fare? Well, I I must have forgotten to put them in. Oh, I should have known.
[00:13:08] Unknown:
Everything I have to do for you, Haiti, Jamaica, Aruba. You didn't really see them?
[00:13:14] Unknown:
Who had much chance? The boat was so late. Well, you could have looked. Oh, come on. Come on. Let's see if I can't get my glasses fixed in Venezuela. Okay, Wanda. This is it.
[00:13:29] Unknown:
You don't have to sound like a movie before the big attack. Yeah. Why not? Maybe I won't come back either. Oh, come on. Out of this, you and me are gonna buy the whole future. For a lousy thousand dollars they're paying to take this coup? No. For a little deal I set up when we hit Caracas. A deal is gonna put us on easy street. You're not setting up some kind of double cross. No. No. No, Howie. My brother Louie will get his chance to sneak into The States. Thanks to us. But just as long as we're playing outside the law, I'm going all the way. This is our chance to make a stake for the rest of our life. Oh.
Well, that's something you never have to know. Just do as I tell you, except for one thing. What's that? When the switch is made, you and Louie are gonna exchange clothes. Also, sling bags. Just let me handle the bags. Why? Of course, honey. You leave me alone, and the future is ours.
[00:14:36] Unknown:
As I said, it takes all kinds of people to make a world, the right ones and the wrong ones. It's obvious enough who are the wrong ones in our story, and by the same token, who are the right ones. But except for the fact they are cruising on the same ship, how could a simple couple like Sam and Millie Gorman affect Howie and Wanda's plans? I shall return shortly with act two. The travel folder says of the Port Of Laguerra, deep enough into Venezuela to capture the wild and wonderful flavors of the South American continent of contrasts, Enchanted forests, the glittering excitement of silver and glass shopping bazaars, that's for the tourists.
But for our story, there is a quiet stroll along the waterfront, then a sudden cut away from the water deep into the narrow streets of the old town back to the foot of the mountains and into a cantina. Later, as evening gathers, they return. A bearded man with a sling bag and a blonde girl in a polka, slacks, and a large summer hat. Look, Sam. Summer. What, really? What is it?
[00:16:04] Unknown:
Mystery man and his mom. Who? Well, you know, on the plane. And I told you, they were right across the hall from us on the ship. Oh, yeah. Yeah. In the inside cabin, Let's catch up and talk to them. Them. Why? I don't know. There's something about him that, you know,
[00:16:22] Unknown:
intrigues me. No. Fine. Well, there's something about him that turns me off. What? I think we have his cabin, and he has ours. And I don't wanna get into some branigan about making a change. Oh, don't be silly. We can't, Dave.
[00:16:36] Unknown:
If we were, he would have complained. Yeah? On the other hand, why hasn't he What? Complained. About what? About us being in his cabin if we are. Well, I thought you said we're not. I did. But if we are, why hasn't he? Why hasn't he what? Complained. Maybe I missed something. Maybe we both did. It's very mysterious. What is? Why does he keep to himself so much with his sexy wife?
[00:17:05] Unknown:
Maybe
[00:17:06] Unknown:
you just said it. Oh, I I I mean, you go on a cruise for fun. Why don't they mingle?
[00:17:13] Unknown:
You said he had a heart condition. Oh, I didn't. His wife did. Well, does it matter who said it? If you got the condition, maybe
[00:17:22] Unknown:
he wants to rest. This is the very first time he's been ashore. It's funny. Take a good look at her and him.
[00:17:30] Unknown:
I'm looking.
[00:17:32] Unknown:
You see anything interesting? Look at his shirt, the shoulders. Material's too loose. That shirt doesn't fit him. And the hat, it's too big. It sits right down on his ears. It didn't this morning.
[00:17:49] Unknown:
Maybe he had a haircut.
[00:17:51] Unknown:
He couldn't. You know it was a feast day. The shops were all closed. Come on. Let's hurry and try to catch him. What floor? So I can make certain. Of what? Of what I'm seeing. He has the same clothes and a beard and dark glasses as the man that left the ship with her this morning.
[00:18:12] Unknown:
But But what?
[00:18:14] Unknown:
Well, you may think I'm crazy, but that's not the same man.
[00:18:25] Unknown:
What's your hurry, Wanda?
[00:18:27] Unknown:
Take it easy. Play it cool. Nosy little dame. What? Don't look around. It's it's it's missus Gorman. They're the ones I think are out of our cabin. The the door is right opposite us. So? So she's one of those little dames gotta be friends with everyone. She caught Holly and me leaving this morning. What do you mean caught? Well, we both came out of our cabins the same time, and she wanted to know, were we going to Caracas on the bus tour? So you told her no? Yeah. I I said Holly had a cold and it had given him laryngitis like. But we've been holed up for nearly five days, and I don't want anybody to hear his voice again, you know, just in case.
[00:19:05] Unknown:
Hey.
[00:19:06] Unknown:
Smart kid says that Just the same. Let's let's keep away from this snoop. Here's a giant plank. Let's get on board. You're sure it's always easy to get back on board? Sure. Sure. You go ahead. All we do is hang our landing tags on a bulletin board. Watch your step, sir. Oh, what? Tide is up. The end of the boarding ladder is riding high. Please step down. Oh oh, yeah. Yeah. Thank you. My pleasure. Have a nice time ashore? Oh, yes. Thanks. Nothing like change, is there?
[00:19:34] Unknown:
What? What? From ship to shore. One comes back a new man.
[00:19:39] Unknown:
More like a new woman.
[00:19:40] Unknown:
A madam could not be improved upon. Hey. Hi. Come on. Let's get down to the cabin. Oh, yeah.
[00:19:49] Unknown:
He's kinda cute. Who is he? The cruise director. Hey. Wait a minute. Here come the Gorman. Come on. Let's catch the
[00:20:00] Unknown:
elevator.
[00:20:03] Unknown:
Why'd you have to race me like that, Millie? I told you, Sam. I wanted to catch up with mister and missus Rivers. Oh, dear. Oh, They just went down in the elevator.
[00:20:13] Unknown:
Maybe if we took the stairs and heard it. Now listen, Millie. That's enough of it. I'm I'm not gonna let you badger people just because of a a hobby. I wasn't gonna badger them. I I just wanted to see if I guessed right. Well, then our sexy shipboard neighbors suddenly changed partners in the middle of the dance? Yes. Oh, that's ridiculous. You don't stop reading those detective novels and those spy stories. Oh, I'm sorry, Sam. It's just a game. You don't really believe that's another man. No.
[00:20:49] Unknown:
But wouldn't it be fun if it was and we were the only ones to spot it?
[00:21:00] Unknown:
It? Hey. You better lock that. Alright, Louie.
[00:21:05] Unknown:
Just give me a bag. I'll unpack it. Well, I'll do it myself. Oh, come on. I know where to put things away. I'll find my own places.
[00:21:12] Unknown:
I like to handle my personal things. Okay. Oh, you and Howie stayed here in this hole the first five days. Yeah. Well, Howie stayed out of sight. I circulated a little. I have a meal.
[00:21:26] Unknown:
Well, breakfast, you can get in the cabin. Lunch is easy, mostly buffet. Dinner dinner's chancy. Some open sittings or buffets, but you're supposed to have a regular table at early or late sittings. So we have one? No. Not yet. You see, there's always a midnight buffet, so eating's no problem.
[00:21:44] Unknown:
We don't wanna be too different from anyone else. How'd you manage that so far?
[00:21:50] Unknown:
Well, like how he wasn't all that well, we said. He had a heart condition.
[00:21:55] Unknown:
Oh, great. Because the way it is, I can hold up here, see nobody, mind my own business
[00:22:02] Unknown:
till I get home. Yeah. Well, we get to Saint Thomas, we gotta pass immigration. Well, we'll sweat that out when we get there. And Fort Everglades is custom. That's a breeze. We ain't buying nothing. Well, I mean, it could be safer if we had a few things to declare.
[00:22:15] Unknown:
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, you you you can have your shopping spree in Saint Thomas. The other islands, we stay right here on board. Take no chances. Okay. So the way things stand, no problems. Maybe I'll take a little shut eye. Here. Let me get that bag out of your way. It ain't in my way. What's the big deal? I just wanted to When I get ready to unpack the bag, I'll do it. Any objections? No, Louie. No. None. So go ahead. Enjoy yourself. Maybe you ought to be seen around. I don't need you. All I need is to get back home. Then you're gonna see waves when I really start to rock the boat.
[00:23:04] Unknown:
You don't wanna play bingo tonight?
[00:23:07] Unknown:
I'd rather play Joker seven.
[00:23:10] Unknown:
The game of the girl who deals.
[00:23:13] Unknown:
That's the name of the game. Ah, you old goat. She's young enough to be your grandchild. What pleases me most is she isn't. You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Sam. And so should you. The way you've been going on about our shipmates across the corridor. Oh, I'm just having a little fun. Doesn't mean anything. They're just like me. Having a little fun, it doesn't mean a thing. Alright. Alright, Sam. You've made your point.
[00:23:39] Unknown:
I'm going to leave them alone from now on. That's great.
[00:23:43] Unknown:
We've made too many good friends on the cruise to pay any attention to two people who choose to be on their own. It's such a pity, though. The poor man is sick.
[00:23:52] Unknown:
No. It is sort of the classic thing to do if you're up to any hijinks. What are you talking about? Well, in detective stories, you always have to look out for anyone who's sick or in a wheelchair or is supposed to have been in a coma ever since Oh,
[00:24:09] Unknown:
for Pete's sake, Millie. Don't start up again. You dressed me? Yes. I am. Well, then come on. Let's get upstairs or topside or whatever they call it and dance. Yes, sir. And you're gonna forget that mister and missus Rivers and forget they ever existed. Right? Right, darling.
[00:24:30] Unknown:
I was acting silly. Come on. Let's go dance. After you, my lady. Thank you, your earlship. I Oh, oh, oh. I'm sorry. Oh, mister Rivers. Oh, dear. I've knocked your glasses off again.
[00:24:44] Unknown:
Oh, that's alright. What's happened to your voice? Really? Oh, I, I call a call from laryngitis. Oh. Yeah. Well, you know, your glasses, mister LaVosa. Yeah. Thanks. I I was just looking out to see if the air conditioning is, you got some in your cabin? Oh, yes.
[00:25:03] Unknown:
You don't and you're not well. Oh. Oh, now if there's anything we can do with it. It's alright. Maybe
[00:25:09] Unknown:
maybe it's just I get, you know, like, claustrophobia. Yeah. I'm sure I as well come on again.
[00:25:17] Unknown:
Who are you talking to? A nose
[00:25:20] Unknown:
from across the hall. That woman. She could be dangerous. Oh, I don't think so. She's just a silly dame. But you, you're something something else. What do you mean? You were real anxious to unpack my bag. The bag I switched with Howie, weren't you? Well, I I I I just thought I could do something. You done plenty. I'm what's getting smuggled into The United States. You out of your mind to try to get this past customs, though. Millie, what is it? I thought we were going dancing.
[00:26:05] Unknown:
What do you wanna come up here on day? Doctor, don't say anything so we can get rid of our own love, man. Overdance, not the rain. What is it? Now you you you you've got to forgive me, Sam. The voice is one thing. Maybe he could have laryngitis. But the eyes, the man on the plane, they were light brown. This man, they're dark. And I don't know. Piercing, mean, cruel. And give me the shivers. What are you talking about? Mister Rivers. Only it isn't mister Rivers. It's someone else. Just like I said when he came on the boat. Why?
What are they up to? I'm scared. I'm really scared.
[00:26:55] Unknown:
Now here is an adventure not listed in the advertising brochure and not planned for the cruise. Something very far from peace and serenity and relaxation. And with an underlying threat of a danger Milly Gorman, the amateur detective, could not even dream of, a danger that may be heightened because a desperate man is facing another threat to his security, this one posed by his sister Wanda. I'll return shortly with act three. There is an Italian phrase dolce far niente which means literally delightful idleness and by projection a never never land a special world apart the kind of dreaming delightful piece a cruise is supposed to create.
But twitch on this one has been rudely broken by two threats. Let's return first to the one posed in that stuffy little inside cabin from which a notorious expatriate hopes to engineer his illegal return to The States.
[00:28:10] Unknown:
I didn't want you to find out about that, Louis. I
[00:28:13] Unknown:
I figured it as a stake for both of us. You figured it was a stake for you, you two time and living. No. No. No. Wait. Listen to me. What could you sell me if it hadn't been for that interfering woman across the car at her? I'd have gotten somewhere and dumped the sun cobra born. Are you crazy?
[00:28:35] Unknown:
There's a million bucks in that package. Listen, my life won't be worth a nickel if I don't bring that in. Your life. Whatever mine. That's what you're being paid to worry about. I'm living up to what I promised to do. Listen. It wasn't my idea. Someone the the the syndicate figured as long as we had this set up, there was a a whole kilo of of big h waiting for transport. So
[00:28:59] Unknown:
I got a lesson. Who do you think you're kidding, baby sister? Someone offered you a deal. Bank load this. I want his name.
[00:29:09] Unknown:
Johnny Fatt.
[00:29:11] Unknown:
That fidget is where'd he get the dough to buy this package? I don't know. I know. Honestly, I don't. That fidget is too. Someone's gonna be out of bundle. What do you mean? You kidding? First chance I get, I'm dumping this over the side. You you sure that's smart? All I care about is getting in. And, once I'm back though means nothing. And I don't want something like this to mess up my chances of coming home It it it could mean more than you think Oh?
[00:29:42] Unknown:
Look, you've been away a lot of years, Louis Some of the boys ain't so anxious to see you back So it's it's a little insurance in case things don't go all your way and and you have to get out again.
[00:29:57] Unknown:
Maybe you got something. Anyways, we, we got some time to think it over. Tell you what I'll do, really. Tomorrow, when we get to Trinidad and go ashore, I'll have my glasses fixed. Then as soon as I get a chance, I'll have a close look at mister Rippert. I'm supposing you don't agree with me. Well, then I want you to promise to stop playing detective and
[00:30:27] Unknown:
do what we took this cruise for. Enjoy yourself.
[00:30:30] Unknown:
But I am enjoying myself. Oh, okay.
[00:30:34] Unknown:
So let's say you're right, Millie. But what are you gonna do about it? Go to the person or the captain? Let's say we got a stowaway aboard?
[00:30:43] Unknown:
Yes. Or or something like that. Oh, he isn't,
[00:30:46] Unknown:
actually. I mean, his passage is paid for. He's like a, well, a, substitute.
[00:30:52] Unknown:
But why? Honey, I don't care. And neither should you. But he might be some kind of criminal. Oh, that's just what I mean. If he is, I don't want you getting mixed up. No. I got no right to be risking your happiness. We are retired at last. Doing the things we always planned, looking forward to so much more. No, Sam. I'm sorry. I don't care who mister Rivers is. I just care who we are and that we stay that way.
[00:31:26] Unknown:
I love you. I made a career out of it. Never regretted it. I love you, Minnie. Wanda, this, this bundle of age.
[00:31:44] Unknown:
How'd you figure to get it past the customs? That was that was the whole gimmick of setting up Howie as a heart patient. What do you mean gimmick? What was wait. Couple of years ago, before I married Howie, I well, I was on one of these cruises and when it came time to pass through customs, well, well, you know, it's a big schmear lugging bags, lifting them, opening them, putting them down. I tell you, it's like a madhouse. Oh. So there was this older guy and he says I gotta have a porter or a red cap or something. I'm not allowed to lift anything with my heart condition. So the guy says wait a minute I'll get you a stevedore. And along comes this guy with a car and the hot man goes straight through. No questions Nobody looks at his baggage even So the fire I was with says, Hey, how about that? Anytime you want to smuggle something home free, how's that for an angle?
One time you get a break No, no, Louis I act around quite a bit. It happens a lot no matter where you come from.
[00:32:44] Unknown:
Maybe. Yeah. I don't know how long I can take this. Maybe you like to go ashore? No. No. I risk it. Yeah. But why not you? Trinidad, I could use some rum maybe to forget this sweat bath. It's better at Barbados. Barbados is tomorrow. Trinidad is today. Yeah. Yeah. Why don't you go ashore? Bring back a bottle. Really? What what are you doing?
[00:33:18] Unknown:
Oh, Sam. I thought you were taking a nap.
[00:33:22] Unknown:
Well, I was. But not now. What are you up to?
[00:33:26] Unknown:
Oh, nothing. Really? Oh, I couldn't help it, Sam. The cruise is almost over. And except the time we saw her in Trinidad buying some rum, they've never been out of that cabin. I thought you were gonna forget the rivers. I tried to, but it isn't so easy.
[00:33:43] Unknown:
Well, you got me going about them too. Well, this may be our last chance today. Yes. Saint Thomas is our last island to go ashore. I wasn't thinking of that so much. Today, everybody has to be in the main lounge for immigration. And now I got my spectacles again. Maybe I'll have a real good look at mister Rivers at last. Who? The Rivers.
[00:34:14] Unknown:
Millie, we've forgotten about them. You promised. Yes. But you promised the first chance you got with your spectacles,
[00:34:21] Unknown:
you'd look at them. If you're coming by now, here's your chance. Wait. Wait. Wait. I could Go ahead. How long is this gonna take? They said not too long. You got your papers? Don't worry. I got everything I need. You know, hold my glasses while I check. Better not take them off too long.
[00:34:37] Unknown:
Well, Sam?
[00:34:40] Unknown:
Really? It's the same guy who flew down with us on a plane. Sam, you're lying. Believe. That's the same guy. It got nothing to do with us and that's how it's going to be.
[00:34:54] Unknown:
Yes, Sam. Thirty five years and you've always been right.
[00:34:59] Unknown:
I'm I wanna protect you. I know.
[00:35:03] Unknown:
So you're right, Sam. Who's
[00:35:10] Unknown:
arguing? We've all cleared immigration now, and all that remains to do is go through customs, which we'll have to do when we arrive at Fort Everdades, Florida. Remember, you may bring in duty free one quart of liquor, which you will no doubt be buying today. Just one word of warning, anybody with a little cache of, grass or anything harder, forget it. You might fool the guys who inspect your baggage, but you can't fool Daisy. Who's Daisy? Special operative k nine. She's a dog. And don't try to bypass her. She knows. She's trained to sniff up the stuff. Alexa, enjoy Saint Thomas.
[00:35:54] Unknown:
A dog? Who figured on that? Junk. That's really all this is now. We have to ditch it. Maybe not.
[00:36:06] Unknown:
How about the rum bottle? We empty that yet? Not yet. We're gonna empty it now. Poured down the sink. Good rum. Why? We dry it out. Put the heroin in it. Stopper it tight enough. The dog can't sniff it. Oh, that's that's an awful chance. Not really. We won't be taking it through customs. What do you mean? I'll show you after we go ashore. It's about time for me to stretch my legs. And the liquor will be delivered right to this ship. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Oh, well, we better get back. Hey. No hurry. I gotta find my pigeon. What are you talking about? Do me a favor, hon. Go keep that liquor salesman busy while you get us another bottle for the cabin. Bardon what? Anything just so long as you keep him busy.
I got bourbon. Okay? Couldn't care less. I got what I want. Even more than I expected.
[00:37:11] Unknown:
Louis? What is it?
[00:37:13] Unknown:
Look there. Our neighbors. The nosy lady. Buying a package of liquor just like us. And I wonder, Now we can go back to the ship.
[00:37:28] Unknown:
Just a note for all of those who bought your quart of liquor today, before we sail for Saint Thomas, it'll be placed outside your cabins. Please check and make sure you have it. Now more about our plan
[00:37:40] Unknown:
Did we check our liquor?
[00:37:41] Unknown:
Don't worry. I got in the closet already. I also got rid of our extra bottle. What extra bottle? The bottle that doesn't contain liquid. It has the hard stuff.
[00:37:53] Unknown:
Heroin? That's it. But where?
[00:37:57] Unknown:
You gotta keep the brain working every mini wonder. I lifted a bottle from the Gorman's package and replaced it with a hot bottle. What better way to bypass the dog and US Customs? And even if we don't, I'm still safe.
[00:38:13] Unknown:
If they do find the h, it ain't on me. I could just stash it on our neighbor's duty free carton. There's a special tape that seals it. Easy.
[00:38:22] Unknown:
Why, you kept the liquor man busy buying our extra bottle. I filled enough tape to reseal the carton after I made the switch. How do we get the stuff back? Let's check the manifest. Mister and missus Sam Gorman. 734 West 70 Second Street. Soon as we hit the Big Apple, we make one little detour there to pick it up. But what did we say? Just there was a mix up. And if they don't buy that? It's a nice quiet neighborhood. Anything could happen.
[00:39:01] Unknown:
It's such a wonderful cruise. Such a wonderful time. And, oh, Sam, how good it is to be home.
[00:39:08] Unknown:
Yeah.
[00:39:09] Unknown:
What's wrong?
[00:39:11] Unknown:
Alright. I could've sworn I double locked the apartment when we left. But I only had to use one key. Now, Sam, don't start to worry. The moment we're Who could that be?
[00:39:22] Unknown:
No one knows where I'll get it. Now wait wait wait a minute. Now just let me handle it.
[00:39:28] Unknown:
Yes? Hi, missus Coleman. You remember us from the cruise?
[00:39:32] Unknown:
Oh, yes. Mister and missus Rivers, won't you come in? Well, just for a minute.
[00:39:38] Unknown:
You see there, there was a mix up in some of our baggage. You got our liquor packages instead of yours.
[00:39:45] Unknown:
Really? Mhmm. I mean, you're sure this one here is yours? Yeah. I'm sure.
[00:39:52] Unknown:
And that's what I'm taking away. Well, now just a minute.
[00:39:56] Unknown:
This package has my name on it. Let's not argue, missus Gorman.
[00:40:01] Unknown:
This is a gun and I want what's mine. And that's what you'll get, Louis Marie. You're covered all over. Six guns. You're a big fish, mister Marino. And as long as you picked up the bait, we wanna make sure you don't get away.
[00:40:21] Unknown:
I know I promised, Sam, but won't you forgive me?
[00:40:25] Unknown:
What? How did you know to call the cops? And how did you do it without me knowing? Well, while you were checking through customs, I called them.
[00:40:34] Unknown:
How did I know to? Sam, I just can't help it. I just noticed things. The special seal on our liquor package was suddenly on backwards. So I steamed it off to have a look. That's when I knew. How could I tell you? You wouldn't have let me do what I did.
[00:40:54] Unknown:
Really? I'm a retired man. I want to enjoy the quiet I thought I'd earned.
[00:41:02] Unknown:
Couldn't choose. Yes, ma'am. I've had enough kicks. You know? I'm ready to retire too.
[00:41:16] Unknown:
There are now plenty of charges stacked up against Louis Marino through little missus Gorman's sharpness for illegal possession of drugs, smuggling, and any number of other charges to put him away for the rest of his life. I don't know if there's a moral in this except that maybe if you want to be crooked, don't mess with the innocent. It's only the ones without any larceny in their hearts you can't figure at all. I'll be back shortly. This is what is generally known as the hedge, except honestly. In this case, it isn't. We have brought you a story that might happen on a Caribbean cruise.
To the best of our knowledge, it never has, except this once in imagination. We urge all of you listening to consider that it would never happen on your cruise through that romantic sea, and with all the delights the islands can bring you. Our cast included Mary Jane Higbee, Court Benson, Joan Copeland, and Leon Janney. The entire production was under the direction of Hyman Brown. Radio Mystery Theater was sponsored in part by Buick Motor Division and ARM, Allergy Relief Medicine. This is E. G. Marshall inviting you to return to our mystery theatre for another adventure in the macabre. Until next time.
Pleasant dreams.