In this lively episode, Ryan shares a humorous anecdote about playing Chumba Casino on a flight, only to discover the passenger next to him was doing the same. This sparks a conversation about the popularity of Chumba Casino's free-to-play games, which can be enjoyed anywhere, even at 30,000 feet. Ryan encourages listeners to join in the fun and claim their free welcome bonus at ChumbaCasino.com.
The episode takes a comedic turn with a skit featuring classic characters like Charlie McCarthy and W.C. Fields. The skit revolves around a humorous misunderstanding involving a skunk trap, leading to a series of witty exchanges and playful banter. The dialogue is filled with clever wordplay and slapstick humor, as Charlie attempts to apologize to W.C. Fields for an accidental mishap. The episode concludes with a nod to the classic comedy style of the past, leaving listeners with a smile.
(00:00) Introduction and Casino Games
(01:10) Chase and Sanborn Coffee Show
(06:21) Comedy Skit: Jungle Adventure
(15:22) Charlie and Mr. Fields: The Apology
(24:28) The Nose Taillight Joke
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
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[00:00:00]
Unknown:
Hello. It is Ryan, and I was on a flight the other day playing one of my favorite social spin slot games on chumbacasino.com. I looked over the person sitting next to me, and you know what they were doing? They were also playing Chumba casino. Coincidence? I think not. Everybody's loving having fun with it. Chumba Casino is home to hundreds of casino style games that you can play for free anytime, anywhere, even at 30,000 feet. So sign up now at chumbacasino.com to claim your free welcome bonus at chumba casino dot com and live the Chumba life. No purchase necessary.
[00:00:31] Unknown:
Okay. Round two. Name something that's not boring. A laundry?
[00:00:37] Unknown:
Oh, a book club. Computer solitaire.
[00:00:42] Unknown:
Sorry. We were looking for Chumba Casino. Chumba. That's right. ChumbaCasino.com has over a hundred casino style games. Join today and play for free for your chance to redeem some serious prizes. ChumbaCasino.com. No more to this server. We're prohibited by law. 18 plus terms. Conditions apply. See website for details.
[00:01:11] Unknown:
The makers of Chase and Sanborn Coffee, the blend that's friendship in a cup, Bergen, what happened in Lou Costello, Ray Noble and his orchestra, our guest w c fields, and Everybody's friends but Bill Field, Charlie McCarthy.
[00:01:54] Unknown:
Thank you. Thank you. And welcome from me to you and to everybody.
[00:01:59] Unknown:
And from good old Jason Sam going to come at Friendship in a Cup. And welcome to mister W. C. Fields.
[00:02:06] Unknown:
He's Friendship in a Hiccup.
[00:02:09] Unknown:
Alright. Alright, Charlie. Uh-huh. No. No. No. Oh. Oh, here's a chair for you, mister Bergen. Won't you sit down? Well, I thank you, Charlie. Thank you. May I pause and call me for you, Mr. Noble? I brought some down here. Well, thanks, Charles. Yes. I will have just the spot of it. Oh, that's nice. You're welcome, sir. Yes. Yes. Well, now what is all this about, Charlie? This doing things for for people, being so considerate of others all of a sudden?
[00:02:32] Unknown:
Well, I just figured, mister Burton, that's it. That we're friends. Yes. And what's what's, you know,
[00:02:39] Unknown:
what's friends for if you don't help them out? Well, that's quite right. You'll use stand up for me to stand behind me if I needed it, wouldn't you, Yes, Charlie. I would. Yes. I'll stand behind you if you're right. If I'm right? Yes.
[00:02:53] Unknown:
Well, but can I stand behind you if I'm wrong as well?
[00:02:58] Unknown:
That's what I wanna know. I'm sorry, Charlie. All I'm beginning to understand now, all this good behavior wouldn't have anything to do with mister Fields coming here today, would it?
[00:03:08] Unknown:
Well, I, I thought maybe we'd all stick together and I wouldn't have to apologize. Oh, I see. Yes.
[00:03:16] Unknown:
I thought as much. Well, don't think for a minute, young man, that you're going to get out of apologizing to mister Field. But I thought No. No. No. Why the idea of rigging up a skunk trap in mister Field's garden and tripping him up. Yeah. Yes. That's bad. That's very bad. Of course, it is. Why that sort of a thing? Well, it's a menace to society.
[00:03:34] Unknown:
Since when is Field society now, then you're fine.
[00:03:39] Unknown:
There are no two ways about it, young man. You must apologize.
[00:03:43] Unknown:
Yes. Oh, what'll I say? I can say, mister Fields, I'm sorry about catching you in my skunk trap. Yes. It was a case of mistaken identity. No. No.
[00:03:55] Unknown:
Do you realize that mister Fields hurt himself when he fell? He did? Yes. Of course he did. I thought maybe his nose would break his fall. Now, William well, young man, it's up to you. And apology is in order and you you must hold out the olive branch. Yeah. Yes.
[00:04:15] Unknown:
I must hold it out. Yes. What's the use? He'll only fall over that hill. No.
[00:04:21] Unknown:
Charlie, you you shall have respect for mister Field. Why? Well, he's a very famous man.
[00:04:26] Unknown:
He thinks he's pretty good. I know. Yes. He thinks the whole world revolves around him.
[00:04:32] Unknown:
And it does most of the time too. Nevertheless, mister Fields deserves an apology. Help. Yes. And it must come from you. How? Yes. After all, he's an upright citizen, so it must be done. How? Okay. Okay. You get him upright, and I'll apologize and all that. Well, that'll be enough out of you, young man. Now what are you going to say to mister Fields? Oh, will you help me out, mister Dugas? Alright. Why don't you say something like this, my dear mister Fields? How? I beg leave to make restitution for my intrusion. That's fancy. Yes. Tears of anguish fall upon my unhappy breast. Can you say that? Sure. Tears of anguish fall upon my unhappy breast.
Chest. No. Breath. Breath. Yes. I smite my lonely bosom in agony of shame. Yeah? Yes. I smite my lonely bosom Yes. In agony. Of shame. I say. Yes. Now take it again. I smite it while my bosom and chain. The whole thing. I smite. I smite it once, so I smite it again. Now start from beginning. Oh, mister No way? You smite my baboon. No. No. No. No. You smite me. No. Let's continue. I All shame. All disgrace. All humility. Oh, nuts. I can't go through with that.
[00:06:22] Unknown:
When it's time to be up and doing, here's the key to a better start. Darling,
[00:06:27] Unknown:
breakfast ready. So am I. Good morning, missus Hart, my dear. Mister Walter, also here is friendship Missus Hart, I love you more and more every day.
[00:06:54] Unknown:
But only on account of my coffee. Well, it's awfully nice coffee. It's chasing Sambourne.
[00:07:06] Unknown:
So you have it. What's Costello doing? Putting on the dog? I don't know, Ray. Why do you ask that? Well, he wants to know the name of my tailor. Oh, there's nothing wrong with that. The boy probably wants to get himself a new outfit. You see, we're going to do a jungle picture. Costello's going to play a big, game hunter. I saw it. Yeah. Yes. Emma Carter. Alright. Hey, Emma. Hey, Emma. Hey, Emma. Emma. Hey, Emma. Hey, Emma. Hi, Emma. Hi, everybody. Hey, Costello. What what is this? Oh, I'm all ready, Abbott. I'm all dressed for my platinum picture. What are you what are you doing dressed up in that tuxedo? You're you're going to be a big game hunter. I thought you said a big damn hunter.
No. Is that it? Oh, I don't know how to get dressed up like this wild hunting. I know that it's too hot an African to wear a tuxedo. I'm wearing a sarong. You're wearing a what? A sarong. Sarong? Mhmm. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What are you laughing about? Have you ever seen me in a sarong? No. But I've seen a lamb chop with candies on it. Never mind that. That lamb chop had more meat on it than you have. Alright, Cartel. Please be serious. The title of our new picture is hunting big game in Africa. By the way, are you a hunter? Am I a hunter? Mhmm. One time in Africa, I come face to face with a ferocious line. And then what happened? Well, I snapped at the line. Yes. Then the line snapped at me. Yes. And something suddenly whisked past me. What was it? Pomona. Oh, come on. Then my helper came to my rescue, and I finally broke the line home stop. What was he stuck with?
What happened? Oh, I know. Okay. Now now now pay close attention. Now in this picture, Clark Abel is supposed to save, Ritter Hayworth from a savage Ritter Hayworth. Ritter Hayworth from Rita Hayworth. Alright. Rita Hayworth. Rita Hayworth. Rita Hayworth. Rita Hayworth. Rita Hayworth. Rita Hayworth. Rita Hayworth. Rita Hayworth. Rita Hayworth. Rita Hayworth. Now wait a minute. Will Wait a minute. Will you just have a minute? I'll listen close, will you? He's saving the both of them from a savage man eating lion. But instead, of Gable fighting the lion, a stuntman jumps in and takes his place. That guy must be nuts. What's his name? Costello. Costello? Oh, I'd like to meet that guy. Costello?
That's me. Yeah. But of course it's you. You're going to buy the lion for Gable. And how much money do I get? Why do you care about the money? It's the experience you need. Fine experience. Line meets boy.
[00:09:16] Unknown:
Line meets boy. Oh, come on. I don't care. Now don't be
[00:09:20] Unknown:
lion is tame. That's all mine, but I get hungry. I know. I don't want to miss this. Now here at the scene, as we enter the jungle, we are in search of big game. There you are. What's what's the matter? Oh. What's the matter? Oh. A big bird just came out of the pond and flew straight at me. Duck? No. Hit me. What? Oh, quiet. Stay coach to me and and be on the lookout for wild animals. I hope we don't run into a wiff's enough. What kind of an animal is that? You know, one of those things that looks like a black cat with a streak of white down his back. That's a skunk. A wiff's enough. Alright. Now I'll be done.
Come on. Come Get me out of here. Mister Wig, stick through the bushes there. Do you see anything? Yeah. What is There's a mama line and a papa line. Where are the cubs? In sixth place. Alright. Watch out for that. That woman's line is coming quarters. Get ready. It's going to take two of us to kill him. It's only gonna take one of us. How do you figure that out? Because I ain't gonna be here. Come back here. Tell us. I thought you said you weren't afraid to face death. I ain't. But that's why I ain't dead. Oh, come on. How much money did you say I'm gonna get for this? What do you care about the money? It's the experience you need. Oh, oh, oh. Here comes the lion. Now listen. You do whatever he does. What? He's staring at you? Stare right back. Okay.
Come on. He's roaring at you. Roll back. Okay. Come on. He's wagging his tail. That lets me out. Wait Uh-huh. He's coming this way. He haven't. What? Haven't. What? Let's make a hole for the lines to fall in. Not a hole, a pit. A what? Pit, Costello. Pit. Pit? Why don't you say expect the for rain? Alright. Pip, I didn't know you'd talk basic talk. Alright. Forget about it. Look. Look. The lion sees Rita and Gable who's getting rid of the spring. Move in closer and he'll get you instead. Go ahead. Not so I find out how much money I'm getting. For the last time, what do you care about? The money is the experience you need. Here comes the line.
Here he comes. Help. Quicksand. Quicksand. I don't see any quicksand. No. No. I mean, quick. Sand for help. No. No. Sam, we are. Look. If the the lion runs by, he's grabbed him by the meads. By the mean what? The the meads. Meads. Lions neck. They do. What is it about? I don't feel like nicking with anybody. Abbott, I got him. I shot him in the foot and knocked his teeth out. Oh, wait a minute. How could you shoot him in the foot and knock his teeth out? He was biting a snail. Oh, nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Shut your, Stella. Your job is too sweet. Okay. Hey. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Look. Rita Hayworth is getting ready to give our hero a great big kiss. Rita Hayworth. Rita Hayworth. She's wet. Quiet. She's getting ready to give our hero a grade b kiss. Oh, boy. I can hardly wait. How old? What do you mean? Gable is the hero. You're just a stuntman. I know. But I killed the lion. Get me. Well Why can't I kiss her? Well, you're not being paid to kiss her. What do I care about the money? It's the experience I need.
Hold on now and get ready to jump when it hits you because here it comes. Ray Noble, yes indeed. You will shout when it hits you. Yes. You'll shout when it hits you.
[00:15:22] Unknown:
I'll be gone when he gets here. Yes. Indeed. Oh, I'll sneak around when he gets there. Yes, indeed.
[00:15:29] Unknown:
Alright, young man. Uh-huh. You better stay right here where you are. Yeah. Yes, indeed. And I think I hear mister Fields coming. Oh. Oy oy oy oy oy. Are you sure he's coming, No. You're kidding me, love. Yes. Yes. It is. What? Yes. It is, Charlie. Yes. It's w c Fields, Lord. Uh-oh. Can you see him? Well, I can just see a bit louder. Yeah? I can see him sticking his nose in the door. Sticking his nose in the door? Yes. Oh, well, then it'll be five minutes before he gets there. Oh, I saw it. I'm jiggered. Do it all. Jiggered. Let me out of here. Breakfast, alcohol. Probably capture you there.
Alright. Oh. Good Hello? Good day. Hello, Edgar. How are you? Oh, hello, mister Fields. Hello. Where's the little, wood picker's smacked bar? Yeah. Well, now, Bill, I I can explain everything about that incident. Well, explain, why, your belligerent little bundling board perpetrated an act of sabotage by stretching practically innocent, Bill. You see, he was he was setting a skunk trap. That's what he was doing. Oh, a skunk trap. Yeah. Paul, that's fine. That covers everything. Yeah. Thank you for the compliment. Oh, I didn't mean it that way. That's okay. No. As the other evening, as I was traversing my garden in search of flora and fauna, Laura is my cook in a Oh, I see.
That a likable young lady. Uh-huh. Makes wonderful crepes, you say. Well, I believe all that, but that's really none of my Well, I was walking along when I unexpectedly tripped. And the next thing I knew, I was profaned on terra firma, which was not unusual in itself, but the circumstances Yes. Yes. I can believe that. But, Bill, let's get back to the scuntrap. Remember? Oh, you mean floor? No. No. No. The scuntrap. I I feel it to me. Yes. Well, I'll tell you. It was quite an experience. I broke my Seymour and fractured my decanter. Oh, no. Well, now that does sound rather serious, Bill. Yes. It was. I heard from the hospital.
Clang clang clang clang clang. Clang clang. Yes. I remember that. Half two days in the hospital, I took a turn for the nurse, work. That's what they say. Yes. It is. It's it's it's it's like a change. I got it. And I got some beautiful x rays in my leg. Six reels of them. Six reels? That's fine. A feature, Yeah. What what'd they find, Bill, in here? Just as I expected. The bowel of my leg was hollow. Is that right? Tell me, Bill, were you were you running a fever too? No. I had some trouble with our drug pleasure. Oh, I see. Rather high? 90 proof. Oh, yes.
And a wonderful place in the hospital. Very comfortable bed. Well, that helped. Even had mattresses on the wall. They, they made you feel at home, did they, Bill? Oh, yes. They did. Yeah. Until I suffered a nervous breakdown. Now don't tell me you had a nervous breakdown, Bill. All that's awful. Charlie certainly has caused you a lot of trouble, hasn't he? I don't blame the little color anchor. I love him. He's alright. Twice life. Even though my fall also caused a poor tendon, Paget's disease, double vision, No. Not to mention logo on the Mogulco and Ralph Adele. Oh, now wait a minute. Yeah. I know. Yeah. Complicated by a slight piece of misnip and popping tail and the slip What? A slip sacriol ant. No. A slip thrown in you.
A slip what was that? Sacriol ant. I know. S a c r Oh, yeah. Hyphen. Yeah. From there on, you're on your own. You know, really, it's really a wonder that you recovered from all that. Oh, yeah. The brokers have given me up in despair. One day, they discovered I had a, a a fasted crisis. Oh, I see. So now it's crises, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. It's a technical word. Yes. Well, what day was it when you passed this, crises? The day they found me blowing the foam off my momentum. Oh, no. It's a good time. I hadn't thought so. Yeah. Well, when Charlie learns of this, Bill, he'll be very sorry. I know he'll be sorry. And I just want you to know, Bill, that that he's ready and he's willing to apologize. Oh, that's quite alright then. As a matter of fact, I'm very fond of the boy. Yeah? Where is the little fire hazard? Yeah.
I I think I'll call him in, Bill. Just a moment. Oh, Charlie. He's not here. Never mind. Charlie. Back here. I want you to know that Bill is right here. Yeah. Yes. And he knows all about it. Uh-huh. And Charlie wants to talk to you.
[00:20:37] Unknown:
Yeah. Yeah.
[00:20:39] Unknown:
Oh. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
[00:20:42] Unknown:
Good evening, mister Fields. What did he say? I said good evening. That's all. Let's not jump at conclusion.
[00:20:52] Unknown:
Charlie, I've been telling mister Fields that you want to apologize. Now isn't that right?
[00:20:57] Unknown:
Yes, it is. Yes. I do, mister Fields. I do. Well, that's just fine, my little chump.
[00:21:02] Unknown:
Chum. There she goes again with that pantry. Tell me, my little man, why did you set a trap in my garden? Don't you know there aren't any skunks there?
[00:21:12] Unknown:
No skunks in your garden, then? No. No. I'm sorry.
[00:21:16] Unknown:
No wildlife with one possible exception. My place is occasionally infested with a hoard, a herd of, pink mastodons.
[00:21:26] Unknown:
Pink mastodons. All elephants. That's right, dad. I I hear that the elephants around your place take aspirin C. Fields.
[00:21:40] Unknown:
I love a little little nipper. Is it true, Edgar, that Charlie could trace his ancestry back to an old chestnut stump, the abode, of a family of pole cats? Yeah.
[00:21:53] Unknown:
Oh, this is like the old days, isn't it, Bill? Yeah. Well, remember how we used to fight, mister Bill? Yeah. Foolish, wasn't it? As far as my little friend.
[00:22:03] Unknown:
But we're above that sort of thing now. Yeah. Those are the good old days, aren't they, Bill? Remember the time I said I'd slice you into a Venetian fly? That was excellent when I think I'd done well, was it?
[00:22:17] Unknown:
Yeah. Yeah. It was. Remember how I topped you by saying that makes me shudder?
[00:22:24] Unknown:
Well, that was good. I liked it. Who said you topped me? I taught you. Why the only laugh you ever got was a sneer from a disgruntled termite. Why don't you
[00:22:37] Unknown:
keep that up and you play a return engagement at the hospital. And every time you play it, you know,
[00:22:43] Unknown:
Woodbob
[00:22:44] Unknown:
is in the priority list. Yeah. Well, listen, you long nose hand eaters. No way you don't, man. Hey, dear, doc. Gentleman, please, please, gentlemen.
[00:22:52] Unknown:
I beg your honor's sake, mister Beals just doesn't love me anymore. That's all. Don't tell me I don't love you. You're a prick. Every knock in your your body. That way, it's not. That's the wrong attitude, Bill. Why can't we be friends? What do you say, Charlie? Okay. Okay.
[00:23:08] Unknown:
I'll make one more attempted appeasement. Yes. Then I'll fire on-site.
[00:23:13] Unknown:
Yes. You'll do nothing of the kind, Charlie. You're going to be nice to mister Fields. But he doesn't like me. Well, I idolize the little chap. I'd do anything for him. Would you, mister Fields? Well, I'd be glad to do anything you chap craves. K. Well, mister Fields, I have a new bicycle, you see. Oh, would you like a bell? Well I can,
[00:23:34] Unknown:
I'm not affluent, but I could, buy you a bell. Well, that's nice that I have a bell, bell. But I was just wondering if I could borrow oh, I don't suppose it'd be right. Yes. It's alright. Oh, no. I love the little car. No. No. It isn't right. Oh. Could I borrow your nose for a taillight?
[00:23:59] Unknown:
There he goes. Now you see Hector, it's New Year. Well, Bill, it's only the mischief in the boy. That's all it is. That's what makes him say those things. Why Charlie is his own worst enemy. Not while I am around these times. Can he borrow my nose for a tail light? Why, I'll kill him full of lead and use him for offensive. Yeah. I go by a lap over here. Wait a minute. I wanna hang one on him. No. No. You have no time. I'll stop it. Remember, mister Heals is not a well man, are you, Bill? No. That's right, Ed. Sure. Strictly. Yeah. I've been a fragile thing of beauty ever since I was born. Yeah.
[00:24:37] Unknown:
Why? You weren't born. You were squeezed out of a bar rag.
[00:24:50] Unknown:
Shut him up. He's full of chipmunk games. You know, I thought now, gentlemen, please, will you please stop? Oh, my nose is tail lying. Well, I'm sorry. Why, if you were sore dust on a barroom floor, I'd walk 10 blocks to a drugstore to get an ice cream soda. Yeah. Watch ready to play over. Like a tail I've done so nicely. In silver, it's it's sterling. In slivers, it's Charles McCarthy. In violin, it's Stradivarius.
[00:25:37] Unknown:
How about w c Stittelhorn?
[00:25:40] Unknown:
Yes, sir. In Athens, it's the Parthenon. Lovely place. Play the split tweak there. One or no? In every field, true greatness stands out head and shoulders above the crowd. I don't wanna feel where the nose stands out. Looks like a tail light. That's my car thing. He needs a new paint job. A good shellacking wouldn't him any harm. I've got a nose like a taillight, have I? Yes. Yes. In our field, it's Chase and Sanborn, a truly great coffee. And great coffee means great flavor to Westerners. The thrill packed flavor of roaster fresh coffee, super rich and supremely delicious.
Hello. It is Ryan, and I was on a flight the other day playing one of my favorite social spin slot games on chumbacasino.com. I looked over the person sitting next to me, and you know what they were doing? They were also playing Chumba casino. Coincidence? I think not. Everybody's loving having fun with it. Chumba Casino is home to hundreds of casino style games that you can play for free anytime, anywhere, even at 30,000 feet. So sign up now at chumbacasino.com to claim your free welcome bonus at chumba casino dot com and live the Chumba life. No purchase necessary.
[00:00:31] Unknown:
Okay. Round two. Name something that's not boring. A laundry?
[00:00:37] Unknown:
Oh, a book club. Computer solitaire.
[00:00:42] Unknown:
Sorry. We were looking for Chumba Casino. Chumba. That's right. ChumbaCasino.com has over a hundred casino style games. Join today and play for free for your chance to redeem some serious prizes. ChumbaCasino.com. No more to this server. We're prohibited by law. 18 plus terms. Conditions apply. See website for details.
[00:01:11] Unknown:
The makers of Chase and Sanborn Coffee, the blend that's friendship in a cup, Bergen, what happened in Lou Costello, Ray Noble and his orchestra, our guest w c fields, and Everybody's friends but Bill Field, Charlie McCarthy.
[00:01:54] Unknown:
Thank you. Thank you. And welcome from me to you and to everybody.
[00:01:59] Unknown:
And from good old Jason Sam going to come at Friendship in a Cup. And welcome to mister W. C. Fields.
[00:02:06] Unknown:
He's Friendship in a Hiccup.
[00:02:09] Unknown:
Alright. Alright, Charlie. Uh-huh. No. No. No. Oh. Oh, here's a chair for you, mister Bergen. Won't you sit down? Well, I thank you, Charlie. Thank you. May I pause and call me for you, Mr. Noble? I brought some down here. Well, thanks, Charles. Yes. I will have just the spot of it. Oh, that's nice. You're welcome, sir. Yes. Yes. Well, now what is all this about, Charlie? This doing things for for people, being so considerate of others all of a sudden?
[00:02:32] Unknown:
Well, I just figured, mister Burton, that's it. That we're friends. Yes. And what's what's, you know,
[00:02:39] Unknown:
what's friends for if you don't help them out? Well, that's quite right. You'll use stand up for me to stand behind me if I needed it, wouldn't you, Yes, Charlie. I would. Yes. I'll stand behind you if you're right. If I'm right? Yes.
[00:02:53] Unknown:
Well, but can I stand behind you if I'm wrong as well?
[00:02:58] Unknown:
That's what I wanna know. I'm sorry, Charlie. All I'm beginning to understand now, all this good behavior wouldn't have anything to do with mister Fields coming here today, would it?
[00:03:08] Unknown:
Well, I, I thought maybe we'd all stick together and I wouldn't have to apologize. Oh, I see. Yes.
[00:03:16] Unknown:
I thought as much. Well, don't think for a minute, young man, that you're going to get out of apologizing to mister Field. But I thought No. No. No. Why the idea of rigging up a skunk trap in mister Field's garden and tripping him up. Yeah. Yes. That's bad. That's very bad. Of course, it is. Why that sort of a thing? Well, it's a menace to society.
[00:03:34] Unknown:
Since when is Field society now, then you're fine.
[00:03:39] Unknown:
There are no two ways about it, young man. You must apologize.
[00:03:43] Unknown:
Yes. Oh, what'll I say? I can say, mister Fields, I'm sorry about catching you in my skunk trap. Yes. It was a case of mistaken identity. No. No.
[00:03:55] Unknown:
Do you realize that mister Fields hurt himself when he fell? He did? Yes. Of course he did. I thought maybe his nose would break his fall. Now, William well, young man, it's up to you. And apology is in order and you you must hold out the olive branch. Yeah. Yes.
[00:04:15] Unknown:
I must hold it out. Yes. What's the use? He'll only fall over that hill. No.
[00:04:21] Unknown:
Charlie, you you shall have respect for mister Field. Why? Well, he's a very famous man.
[00:04:26] Unknown:
He thinks he's pretty good. I know. Yes. He thinks the whole world revolves around him.
[00:04:32] Unknown:
And it does most of the time too. Nevertheless, mister Fields deserves an apology. Help. Yes. And it must come from you. How? Yes. After all, he's an upright citizen, so it must be done. How? Okay. Okay. You get him upright, and I'll apologize and all that. Well, that'll be enough out of you, young man. Now what are you going to say to mister Fields? Oh, will you help me out, mister Dugas? Alright. Why don't you say something like this, my dear mister Fields? How? I beg leave to make restitution for my intrusion. That's fancy. Yes. Tears of anguish fall upon my unhappy breast. Can you say that? Sure. Tears of anguish fall upon my unhappy breast.
Chest. No. Breath. Breath. Yes. I smite my lonely bosom in agony of shame. Yeah? Yes. I smite my lonely bosom Yes. In agony. Of shame. I say. Yes. Now take it again. I smite it while my bosom and chain. The whole thing. I smite. I smite it once, so I smite it again. Now start from beginning. Oh, mister No way? You smite my baboon. No. No. No. No. You smite me. No. Let's continue. I All shame. All disgrace. All humility. Oh, nuts. I can't go through with that.
[00:06:22] Unknown:
When it's time to be up and doing, here's the key to a better start. Darling,
[00:06:27] Unknown:
breakfast ready. So am I. Good morning, missus Hart, my dear. Mister Walter, also here is friendship Missus Hart, I love you more and more every day.
[00:06:54] Unknown:
But only on account of my coffee. Well, it's awfully nice coffee. It's chasing Sambourne.
[00:07:06] Unknown:
So you have it. What's Costello doing? Putting on the dog? I don't know, Ray. Why do you ask that? Well, he wants to know the name of my tailor. Oh, there's nothing wrong with that. The boy probably wants to get himself a new outfit. You see, we're going to do a jungle picture. Costello's going to play a big, game hunter. I saw it. Yeah. Yes. Emma Carter. Alright. Hey, Emma. Hey, Emma. Hey, Emma. Emma. Hey, Emma. Hey, Emma. Hi, Emma. Hi, everybody. Hey, Costello. What what is this? Oh, I'm all ready, Abbott. I'm all dressed for my platinum picture. What are you what are you doing dressed up in that tuxedo? You're you're going to be a big game hunter. I thought you said a big damn hunter.
No. Is that it? Oh, I don't know how to get dressed up like this wild hunting. I know that it's too hot an African to wear a tuxedo. I'm wearing a sarong. You're wearing a what? A sarong. Sarong? Mhmm. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What are you laughing about? Have you ever seen me in a sarong? No. But I've seen a lamb chop with candies on it. Never mind that. That lamb chop had more meat on it than you have. Alright, Cartel. Please be serious. The title of our new picture is hunting big game in Africa. By the way, are you a hunter? Am I a hunter? Mhmm. One time in Africa, I come face to face with a ferocious line. And then what happened? Well, I snapped at the line. Yes. Then the line snapped at me. Yes. And something suddenly whisked past me. What was it? Pomona. Oh, come on. Then my helper came to my rescue, and I finally broke the line home stop. What was he stuck with?
What happened? Oh, I know. Okay. Now now now pay close attention. Now in this picture, Clark Abel is supposed to save, Ritter Hayworth from a savage Ritter Hayworth. Ritter Hayworth from Rita Hayworth. Alright. Rita Hayworth. Rita Hayworth. Rita Hayworth. Rita Hayworth. Rita Hayworth. Rita Hayworth. Rita Hayworth. Rita Hayworth. Rita Hayworth. Rita Hayworth. Now wait a minute. Will Wait a minute. Will you just have a minute? I'll listen close, will you? He's saving the both of them from a savage man eating lion. But instead, of Gable fighting the lion, a stuntman jumps in and takes his place. That guy must be nuts. What's his name? Costello. Costello? Oh, I'd like to meet that guy. Costello?
That's me. Yeah. But of course it's you. You're going to buy the lion for Gable. And how much money do I get? Why do you care about the money? It's the experience you need. Fine experience. Line meets boy.
[00:09:16] Unknown:
Line meets boy. Oh, come on. I don't care. Now don't be
[00:09:20] Unknown:
lion is tame. That's all mine, but I get hungry. I know. I don't want to miss this. Now here at the scene, as we enter the jungle, we are in search of big game. There you are. What's what's the matter? Oh. What's the matter? Oh. A big bird just came out of the pond and flew straight at me. Duck? No. Hit me. What? Oh, quiet. Stay coach to me and and be on the lookout for wild animals. I hope we don't run into a wiff's enough. What kind of an animal is that? You know, one of those things that looks like a black cat with a streak of white down his back. That's a skunk. A wiff's enough. Alright. Now I'll be done.
Come on. Come Get me out of here. Mister Wig, stick through the bushes there. Do you see anything? Yeah. What is There's a mama line and a papa line. Where are the cubs? In sixth place. Alright. Watch out for that. That woman's line is coming quarters. Get ready. It's going to take two of us to kill him. It's only gonna take one of us. How do you figure that out? Because I ain't gonna be here. Come back here. Tell us. I thought you said you weren't afraid to face death. I ain't. But that's why I ain't dead. Oh, come on. How much money did you say I'm gonna get for this? What do you care about the money? It's the experience you need. Oh, oh, oh. Here comes the lion. Now listen. You do whatever he does. What? He's staring at you? Stare right back. Okay.
Come on. He's roaring at you. Roll back. Okay. Come on. He's wagging his tail. That lets me out. Wait Uh-huh. He's coming this way. He haven't. What? Haven't. What? Let's make a hole for the lines to fall in. Not a hole, a pit. A what? Pit, Costello. Pit. Pit? Why don't you say expect the for rain? Alright. Pip, I didn't know you'd talk basic talk. Alright. Forget about it. Look. Look. The lion sees Rita and Gable who's getting rid of the spring. Move in closer and he'll get you instead. Go ahead. Not so I find out how much money I'm getting. For the last time, what do you care about? The money is the experience you need. Here comes the line.
Here he comes. Help. Quicksand. Quicksand. I don't see any quicksand. No. No. I mean, quick. Sand for help. No. No. Sam, we are. Look. If the the lion runs by, he's grabbed him by the meads. By the mean what? The the meads. Meads. Lions neck. They do. What is it about? I don't feel like nicking with anybody. Abbott, I got him. I shot him in the foot and knocked his teeth out. Oh, wait a minute. How could you shoot him in the foot and knock his teeth out? He was biting a snail. Oh, nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Shut your, Stella. Your job is too sweet. Okay. Hey. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Look. Rita Hayworth is getting ready to give our hero a great big kiss. Rita Hayworth. Rita Hayworth. She's wet. Quiet. She's getting ready to give our hero a grade b kiss. Oh, boy. I can hardly wait. How old? What do you mean? Gable is the hero. You're just a stuntman. I know. But I killed the lion. Get me. Well Why can't I kiss her? Well, you're not being paid to kiss her. What do I care about the money? It's the experience I need.
Hold on now and get ready to jump when it hits you because here it comes. Ray Noble, yes indeed. You will shout when it hits you. Yes. You'll shout when it hits you.
[00:15:22] Unknown:
I'll be gone when he gets here. Yes. Indeed. Oh, I'll sneak around when he gets there. Yes, indeed.
[00:15:29] Unknown:
Alright, young man. Uh-huh. You better stay right here where you are. Yeah. Yes, indeed. And I think I hear mister Fields coming. Oh. Oy oy oy oy oy. Are you sure he's coming, No. You're kidding me, love. Yes. Yes. It is. What? Yes. It is, Charlie. Yes. It's w c Fields, Lord. Uh-oh. Can you see him? Well, I can just see a bit louder. Yeah? I can see him sticking his nose in the door. Sticking his nose in the door? Yes. Oh, well, then it'll be five minutes before he gets there. Oh, I saw it. I'm jiggered. Do it all. Jiggered. Let me out of here. Breakfast, alcohol. Probably capture you there.
Alright. Oh. Good Hello? Good day. Hello, Edgar. How are you? Oh, hello, mister Fields. Hello. Where's the little, wood picker's smacked bar? Yeah. Well, now, Bill, I I can explain everything about that incident. Well, explain, why, your belligerent little bundling board perpetrated an act of sabotage by stretching practically innocent, Bill. You see, he was he was setting a skunk trap. That's what he was doing. Oh, a skunk trap. Yeah. Paul, that's fine. That covers everything. Yeah. Thank you for the compliment. Oh, I didn't mean it that way. That's okay. No. As the other evening, as I was traversing my garden in search of flora and fauna, Laura is my cook in a Oh, I see.
That a likable young lady. Uh-huh. Makes wonderful crepes, you say. Well, I believe all that, but that's really none of my Well, I was walking along when I unexpectedly tripped. And the next thing I knew, I was profaned on terra firma, which was not unusual in itself, but the circumstances Yes. Yes. I can believe that. But, Bill, let's get back to the scuntrap. Remember? Oh, you mean floor? No. No. No. The scuntrap. I I feel it to me. Yes. Well, I'll tell you. It was quite an experience. I broke my Seymour and fractured my decanter. Oh, no. Well, now that does sound rather serious, Bill. Yes. It was. I heard from the hospital.
Clang clang clang clang clang. Clang clang. Yes. I remember that. Half two days in the hospital, I took a turn for the nurse, work. That's what they say. Yes. It is. It's it's it's it's like a change. I got it. And I got some beautiful x rays in my leg. Six reels of them. Six reels? That's fine. A feature, Yeah. What what'd they find, Bill, in here? Just as I expected. The bowel of my leg was hollow. Is that right? Tell me, Bill, were you were you running a fever too? No. I had some trouble with our drug pleasure. Oh, I see. Rather high? 90 proof. Oh, yes.
And a wonderful place in the hospital. Very comfortable bed. Well, that helped. Even had mattresses on the wall. They, they made you feel at home, did they, Bill? Oh, yes. They did. Yeah. Until I suffered a nervous breakdown. Now don't tell me you had a nervous breakdown, Bill. All that's awful. Charlie certainly has caused you a lot of trouble, hasn't he? I don't blame the little color anchor. I love him. He's alright. Twice life. Even though my fall also caused a poor tendon, Paget's disease, double vision, No. Not to mention logo on the Mogulco and Ralph Adele. Oh, now wait a minute. Yeah. I know. Yeah. Complicated by a slight piece of misnip and popping tail and the slip What? A slip sacriol ant. No. A slip thrown in you.
A slip what was that? Sacriol ant. I know. S a c r Oh, yeah. Hyphen. Yeah. From there on, you're on your own. You know, really, it's really a wonder that you recovered from all that. Oh, yeah. The brokers have given me up in despair. One day, they discovered I had a, a a fasted crisis. Oh, I see. So now it's crises, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. It's a technical word. Yes. Well, what day was it when you passed this, crises? The day they found me blowing the foam off my momentum. Oh, no. It's a good time. I hadn't thought so. Yeah. Well, when Charlie learns of this, Bill, he'll be very sorry. I know he'll be sorry. And I just want you to know, Bill, that that he's ready and he's willing to apologize. Oh, that's quite alright then. As a matter of fact, I'm very fond of the boy. Yeah? Where is the little fire hazard? Yeah.
I I think I'll call him in, Bill. Just a moment. Oh, Charlie. He's not here. Never mind. Charlie. Back here. I want you to know that Bill is right here. Yeah. Yes. And he knows all about it. Uh-huh. And Charlie wants to talk to you.
[00:20:37] Unknown:
Yeah. Yeah.
[00:20:39] Unknown:
Oh. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
[00:20:42] Unknown:
Good evening, mister Fields. What did he say? I said good evening. That's all. Let's not jump at conclusion.
[00:20:52] Unknown:
Charlie, I've been telling mister Fields that you want to apologize. Now isn't that right?
[00:20:57] Unknown:
Yes, it is. Yes. I do, mister Fields. I do. Well, that's just fine, my little chump.
[00:21:02] Unknown:
Chum. There she goes again with that pantry. Tell me, my little man, why did you set a trap in my garden? Don't you know there aren't any skunks there?
[00:21:12] Unknown:
No skunks in your garden, then? No. No. I'm sorry.
[00:21:16] Unknown:
No wildlife with one possible exception. My place is occasionally infested with a hoard, a herd of, pink mastodons.
[00:21:26] Unknown:
Pink mastodons. All elephants. That's right, dad. I I hear that the elephants around your place take aspirin C. Fields.
[00:21:40] Unknown:
I love a little little nipper. Is it true, Edgar, that Charlie could trace his ancestry back to an old chestnut stump, the abode, of a family of pole cats? Yeah.
[00:21:53] Unknown:
Oh, this is like the old days, isn't it, Bill? Yeah. Well, remember how we used to fight, mister Bill? Yeah. Foolish, wasn't it? As far as my little friend.
[00:22:03] Unknown:
But we're above that sort of thing now. Yeah. Those are the good old days, aren't they, Bill? Remember the time I said I'd slice you into a Venetian fly? That was excellent when I think I'd done well, was it?
[00:22:17] Unknown:
Yeah. Yeah. It was. Remember how I topped you by saying that makes me shudder?
[00:22:24] Unknown:
Well, that was good. I liked it. Who said you topped me? I taught you. Why the only laugh you ever got was a sneer from a disgruntled termite. Why don't you
[00:22:37] Unknown:
keep that up and you play a return engagement at the hospital. And every time you play it, you know,
[00:22:43] Unknown:
Woodbob
[00:22:44] Unknown:
is in the priority list. Yeah. Well, listen, you long nose hand eaters. No way you don't, man. Hey, dear, doc. Gentleman, please, please, gentlemen.
[00:22:52] Unknown:
I beg your honor's sake, mister Beals just doesn't love me anymore. That's all. Don't tell me I don't love you. You're a prick. Every knock in your your body. That way, it's not. That's the wrong attitude, Bill. Why can't we be friends? What do you say, Charlie? Okay. Okay.
[00:23:08] Unknown:
I'll make one more attempted appeasement. Yes. Then I'll fire on-site.
[00:23:13] Unknown:
Yes. You'll do nothing of the kind, Charlie. You're going to be nice to mister Fields. But he doesn't like me. Well, I idolize the little chap. I'd do anything for him. Would you, mister Fields? Well, I'd be glad to do anything you chap craves. K. Well, mister Fields, I have a new bicycle, you see. Oh, would you like a bell? Well I can,
[00:23:34] Unknown:
I'm not affluent, but I could, buy you a bell. Well, that's nice that I have a bell, bell. But I was just wondering if I could borrow oh, I don't suppose it'd be right. Yes. It's alright. Oh, no. I love the little car. No. No. It isn't right. Oh. Could I borrow your nose for a taillight?
[00:23:59] Unknown:
There he goes. Now you see Hector, it's New Year. Well, Bill, it's only the mischief in the boy. That's all it is. That's what makes him say those things. Why Charlie is his own worst enemy. Not while I am around these times. Can he borrow my nose for a tail light? Why, I'll kill him full of lead and use him for offensive. Yeah. I go by a lap over here. Wait a minute. I wanna hang one on him. No. No. You have no time. I'll stop it. Remember, mister Heals is not a well man, are you, Bill? No. That's right, Ed. Sure. Strictly. Yeah. I've been a fragile thing of beauty ever since I was born. Yeah.
[00:24:37] Unknown:
Why? You weren't born. You were squeezed out of a bar rag.
[00:24:50] Unknown:
Shut him up. He's full of chipmunk games. You know, I thought now, gentlemen, please, will you please stop? Oh, my nose is tail lying. Well, I'm sorry. Why, if you were sore dust on a barroom floor, I'd walk 10 blocks to a drugstore to get an ice cream soda. Yeah. Watch ready to play over. Like a tail I've done so nicely. In silver, it's it's sterling. In slivers, it's Charles McCarthy. In violin, it's Stradivarius.
[00:25:37] Unknown:
How about w c Stittelhorn?
[00:25:40] Unknown:
Yes, sir. In Athens, it's the Parthenon. Lovely place. Play the split tweak there. One or no? In every field, true greatness stands out head and shoulders above the crowd. I don't wanna feel where the nose stands out. Looks like a tail light. That's my car thing. He needs a new paint job. A good shellacking wouldn't him any harm. I've got a nose like a taillight, have I? Yes. Yes. In our field, it's Chase and Sanborn, a truly great coffee. And great coffee means great flavor to Westerners. The thrill packed flavor of roaster fresh coffee, super rich and supremely delicious.
