In this episode, we dive into a comedic adventure with Judy, who finds herself at the center of a lively party after discovering Chumba Casino. The episode takes a humorous turn as we explore the antics of Abbott and Costello, who engage in a classic comedic routine filled with witty banter and misunderstandings. The duo discusses everything from education to haunted houses, with Costello's fear of ghosts leading to a series of laugh-out-loud moments.
As the episode unfolds, we find Costello reluctantly agreeing to spend a night in a haunted house for a reward, only to encounter a series of ghostly apparitions and comedic mishaps. The episode is a delightful mix of classic comedy, with Abbott and Costello's timeless humor shining through. Join us for a nostalgic trip filled with laughter, misunderstandings, and a touch of ghostly fun.
(00:00) Introduction to Chumba Casino
(01:45) Comedy Skit: Abbott and Costello
(08:01) The Haunted House Bet
(12:56) Encounter with Ghosts
(17:26) The Treasure Hunt
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[00:00:00]
Unknown:
Judy was boring. Hello. Then Judy discovered chumbacasino.com.
[00:00:05] Unknown:
It's my little escape.
[00:00:06] Unknown:
Now Judy's the life of the party. Oh, baby. Mama's bringing home the bacon. Woah. Take it easy, Judy. Chumba. The Chumba Life is for everybody. So go to Chumbacasino.com and play over a hundred casino style games. Join today and play for free for your chance to redeem some serious prizes. Chumba. Chumbacasino.com. No purchase necessary for you. We're prohibited by law. 18 plus terms and conditions apply. See website for details. With Lucky Land slots, you can get lucky just about anywhere. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to has anyone seen the bride and groom?
[00:00:39] Unknown:
Sorry. Sorry. We're here. We were getting lucky in the limo, and we lost track of time.
[00:00:44] Unknown:
No. Lucky Lane Casino with cash prizes that add up quicker than a guest registry. In that case, I pronounce you lucky.
[00:00:51] Unknown:
Play for free at luckylandslots.com. Daily bonuses are waiting. No purchase necessary. Void were prohibited by law. 18 plus. Terms and conditions apply. See website for details.
[00:01:46] Unknown:
That's right folks. B for comedy, J for Abbott, M for Maxwell, E for Emma, L for Luke Costello. Put them all together and they spell camel. Experience is the best pizza. Try a camel. Let your own experience tell you why more people are soaking camos than ever before. And draw up a chair for tonight's camel show. Time for devil and Luke Costello. Hey, Catella, Catella, come here. Come over here. Why are you late again? Well how about I stop the music, sir, to get one of our records of our baseball routine? But there was a guy in there ahead of me and bought everyone they had for us. Us. He wants to find out who's out first. Well, all right. Tell her. We'll tell her. All right. Well, I'll forget about it. How are you doing on that job I got you last week? Oh, forget that. What do you mean? Job. Yeah. Well, I worked there five days.
Five days. Isn't that pretty darned? George, I defy anybody to find out how dumb I am in five days.
[00:03:03] Unknown:
I know.
[00:03:04] Unknown:
I know. That should teach you. You know, that should teach you the value of education. Oh, That should teach you the value of education. Education. Did you get graduation, darling? No? High school? No? Grade school? No. You're getting hot. Oh, wait a minute. Doesn't that make you, an ignoramus? No. But it's your help. Anyhow, I did my folks to the floor to send me to school. We were so poor my mother used to send me out on the street to bake for a piece of whole wheat bread. Why were wheat bread? We were poor but we were proud. Well I had a happy childhood at it. You did? Every morning I'd take my father's hand and we'd walk to school together. Then at 04:00 I'd talk to them and take them home again.
[00:03:49] Unknown:
That's all your money. Old man was going to school. I think you're going.
[00:03:53] Unknown:
Yeah. I know. That's all your mother your mother must have had a struggle with that family, but now you can make you can make up to her. You can make up everything. Remember that Sunday is mother's day. That's right, Adam. Next Sunday is mother's day. Oh, then you do remember mother's day. Sure. My mother always sends me something. Why are you the idiot? You're supposed to send your mother something. Now last year, I sent my mother a check for a hundred dollars. By the way, that reminds me, I never did get that check back from the bank. No? But I'll bet your mother did. I, please.
Hey. Hey. Hey. No remarks like that. Just tell them my checks are good. I have plenty of money. Why it cost me $10,000 a year just to live. Have it? It ain't worth it. No, god. I have. Tell them I have. What are you going to tell your mother this year? I think I'll get a brand new 1947 Cadillac. Where can you get a 1947 Cadillac? You can get all you want of them from the Cadillac company if you're a property owner. Well, no. But what kind of property do you have to own? The Cadillac company. Oh, no. You idiot. You haven't got enough money to buy a new car. Oh no? Then I'll put up my collection of rare coins. I got it right here. Look at it.
2 quarters, 3 dimes, and a nickel. Well, these are not rare coins. Here they are. Heather, will you only $10 to buy them on the night's present? No. I will not. Do you need money? I know where you can get a thousand dollars just for spending the night in a haunted house. Good. Is that just the kind of job? Haunted house. You see the owner wants to sell it, and he's willing to give a thousand dollars to the first man that would spend the night that has to break the sale. You know, the seller of the goat. That's I ain't gonna get mixed up with no ghost. What do you mean? When people stop walking and talking, I'm through it.
[00:05:35] Unknown:
No. It's not that, Sophie.
[00:05:38] Unknown:
Just tell a ghost is not real. When you see a ghost, you see an apparition. Abbott, when I had my apparition for up front of the center, all I told was a cockatoo and a beautiful nurse. No. No. No. No. I'm not talking about an operation. I'm talking about an apparition. Abbot, what in hallucination are you talking about? Hello. I ain't talking about ghosts. Haven't. That ghost may speak to me, but I ain't spoken to him. I ain't had enough conversation with those strange ghosts. But you can't speak to a ghost. No. You just said the ghost spoke to me with you, two years ago. You have nothing to be afraid of because because, the ghost is, the house. You see, the house is only a rumor. Boy. Well, what did you say? And I really mean, what did you say?
I said the ghost in the house is only a rumor. I couldn't care if he was alone. I love you, darling. This ghost is a rumor. A rumor is a tale. At least it's a tale. That's it. I ain't going to no house where it's a ghost with a fishtail. No, no, no, no. Listen to me. I'm not going to I ain't going to no house where it's a ghost with a picture of tail. No. No. No. Listen, God. So I'm trying to explain to you what a ghost is. Now let's take for example a ghost motion picture. Did you see the ghost picture that Irene Dunn did? Dunn did. Yeah.
What kind of cock is that? Can you turn turn? No. No. No. Look, I tell Irene Dunn did affect her. A ghost picture. Did you see the picture that Irene Dunn did? Look, Adam, it. If Irene Dunn get it, I just thought you all. Well, I nice fella, please. When you listen to me, I'm talking about the star Irene Dunn. Now you know that Dunn does take Dunne doesn't? Well, cut my mouth. I didn't know that Dunne doesn't. I thought that does doesn't. That's everything. Yeehaw. Look at that. I'm talking about the ghost picture that Irene Dunne did. When I say that Irene Dunne did a picture, I don't mean that Irene Dunn done a picture. I mean that Irene Dunn did a picture and the picture that Dunn did is what Dunn's done. Oh, when you say that Irene Irene Dunn did a picture, you don't mean that Irene Dunn did a picture. You mean that Irene Dunn did a picture and the picture that Dunn did is what John Now you've got it. Now I've got it. I don't even know what I'm talking about.
Experienced in thinking about taking that job in the home house. A thousand dollars would, buy your mother a nice present for mother's day. Yet have it, I've been thinking of the ghost all day. I even want to see the ghost picture that Irene Dunne did. There's an old guy in that picture that takes beautiful girls into the haunted house and they're never seen it again. That old man must be a teen. He may be a teen but he ain't no joke. Right? Well I continue here. Oh yes yes yes. You've got a teen what went on into the corner's house. Scene there's a gunshot and a potty. Murder. Murder. And the second scene is a gunshot and another potty. Murder. Murder. And the first scene is a beautiful blonde sweater girl.
Murder. Murder. Well never mind that. Hey. Here's the office of the real estate broker who is offering that reward to the man who will spend the night in the haunted house. Now tell her you're going to earn that money and you can spend a thousand dollars to your mother. Yeah. My mother's to do that money to help one of our relatives get cured of a nervous breakdown. Who's a relative with the nervous breakdown? That's why I spend the night in that haunted house. He no. Don't say it. We're going in there and get you that job. Well, good morning gentlemen. What can I do for you? My friend, Costello, wants to spend the night in your haunted house and earn that thousand dollars. Yeah. As the cow says to the farmer with a big hand boy what it? Yes.
[00:09:19] Unknown:
Now tell
[00:09:21] Unknown:
me, tell me Costello, Have you ever had any experience with those? Oh sure. One time I saw a whole flock of those sitting around a campfire. What were they doing? Telling people stories. Oh good. Well then, Costello, you'll take the job. Not me. I ain't spending the night in a haunted house. Costello. You're not afraid of those? You're not a famous jellyfish. You're not a pussyfoot. You're not a cringing yellow flower. You want a pet? Mister Brown, Cartelow will take the job. Oh, goody, goody, goody. Cartelow, the job is yours. Here's the rest of the haunted house and the city owner said to Mallory Maxwell, here's the key.
Well, I'll see you tomorrow morning. I hope. Well come on, Custer. Phil, let's go across the street to that bookstore and I'll buy you a book on how to handle those. Look out. Look out that car customer. Look out. What do you know? You stopped for it. Must be an Hiya. Tell us what? Give me a minute. Give me. That's that's all I'm going to spend the night in the haunted house. Oh yeah? Yep. You know how your house used to be haunted? It's haunted by the ghost of a bottle of bourbon. Oh you're nice, Ginny. How could a bottle of bourbon, bumble bourbon can't die? Oh no. I was at the night my father killed it.
Abbie if Destiny ever becomes a ghost he will need a seat. And if his tea bag would cover him. Never mind him. Let's go into the bookstore. Pardon me. That lady over there where the ghost books are. I told her. Pardon me, miss? Could you tell me where Hell, if it isn't mister Albert and mister Costello.
[00:10:58] Unknown:
You soft little one. You. Well, well, miss. What are you doing here in the bookstore? Oh, I just wrote in the booze among the best brewers. The best brewers?
[00:11:10] Unknown:
Oh, well, but you know what best brewers are. That's like for Uber, and how bloom was my bully.
[00:11:18] Unknown:
By any chance, have you read Uncle Sue's a Cuban?
[00:11:22] Unknown:
Yow. But I prefer but I prefer the three little cooking who wants their mutton.
[00:11:30] Unknown:
But I must be chosen along. As we say in Siamese, old as hockey, pull a cockatista
[00:11:35] Unknown:
and dress it to you. And an old pot pull a cockatista cheese and a kisser to you too. Come on Jack. That old. Come on. Nice plug for the ghost book. Hey. Hey. There's there's Marilyn. Our lovely Marilyn Oldsmobile. Marilyn Oldsmobile. You mean Marilyn Maxwell. Abbott, did you ever see a Maxwell with a tatty like that? I know.
[00:11:57] Unknown:
Oh,
[00:11:58] Unknown:
mister Abbott. Hello, Louis darling. Marilyn darling, every time I see you, my heart goes to the patty. Knock, knock. Put a patty. Wait. Wait. Knock, knock. What's the knot for? My engine always knocked when it's warming up.
[00:12:09] Unknown:
Quiet, Gautella. Marilyn, that's still going to make a thousand dollars by spending the night in a haunted house. Oh, Louis. Aren't you afraid? Afraid of what? Well, for support while you're sitting there in that haunted house, an ugly, stupid, giddiest face could appear before you. That's one thing I don't have to worry about. Have it. Got a date tonight. Come
[00:12:29] Unknown:
on, Godzilla. We've we've gotta get that ghost book. Come on. Lewis,
[00:12:32] Unknown:
remember the last time we met in a bookstore
[00:12:35] Unknown:
when the clerk wasn't looking at me? He kissed me. Shame on you, Costello. Making love to Maryland in a public bookstore. Where did you get it? You've seen the novels in the natural
[00:12:53] Unknown:
would you like for me to come and sit with you tonight in that haunted home? I couldn't let you do that, to save a place to come up and put his arms around you. Oh, a ghost wouldn't do that. Every ghost has his own girlfriend.
[00:13:07] Unknown:
Well, come on, Gaston. Let's get in the doctor. You gotta get over to that haunted house. Well that's Ellen. Here's a haunted house. Put her with a pussy looking drink. What's another? Adam. There's that big black thing following me. You don't like your channel. Yeah? Then why ain't it doing what I'm doing? Never mind. I'd open the door. Tap it. Just start in here. I ain't gonna stay in this house. Oh, don't be silly, Cartelo. There's nothing you'd be scared about. Careful, Cartelo. Don't step on that hat. Well, come on, Cartelo. It's It's almost 12:00 tonight. If you wanna get that thousand dollars, you better get inside that haunted house and stay there until morning. Abbot, there must be something else wrong with that house. Why? It's been vacant two years. Not even a veteran has tried to rent it.
Hey, Abbot. What's the matter? I see two hands in front of me. Now they're coming together. 12:00. Twelve o'clock. Well, what time? That must be Pacific ghost time. Hey Abbot, I'm getting out of here. There's a guy I want to see outside. Oh me. See you later. Alright come back here you pussy. Look over there Abbot. There's a ghost in the corner. I think it's a lady goat. That makes you think it's a lady goat. Wearing a low cut teeth. I'm getting out of here now. Shame on you, you coward. Only a baby would be afraid of a ghost. Abbot, please ask me the pablum.
Hello, boy. I'm a ghost. Wait a minute. You're a ghost. Put your feet. You're wearing a blanket. It gets cold at night in California's kids. Hey. What's the matter with you, cusser? Just one of those stooks coming up the stairs now. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait a minute. Nutella, you're right. But but but don't don't worry. I know I know how to break the sun of the ghost. You must pull the feet off that thing. Now I'll stick around in the back of it, and you pull the feet off. Oh, no. You don't. Oh, alright then. You pull the seat off, and I'll stick around in the back. That's better. Wait a minute. That's the same thing. Wait. I said I grab the seat off it goes.
Hello. It's mrs. Wet one. Have it. Put the seat back on.
[00:15:36] Unknown:
Thomas Lab it. You'll be joining this haunted house with that horrible Halloween pumpkin. Oh, pardon me. It's not yellow.
[00:15:44] Unknown:
I wish you hadn't said that mrs. But was Only today I was telling that but what sparkling white piece you had. Oh, for who? Did you notice him when I smiled? No. I passed your house this morning. They were hanging on a clothesline. Quiet, Cartella. Listen, with what? What are you doing in this haunted house masquerading as a ghost? Boys, I'm going to take you into my confidence. I'm going to give you a picture that nobody else knows. Maybe she's gonna tell us the right answer. Quiet, trust me. What is it, missus Webber? Well, Priscilla, are you sure you can keep a picture? Certainly. I saw that new picture last night, and I wouldn't even tell anybody why George Eppley was late.
[00:16:17] Unknown:
Yeah.
[00:16:18] Unknown:
And I'll tell you. You can just tell it is really haunted. No. But just believe it's playing the part of a monster paced ghost. That's the best piece of casting we've had on this show all
[00:16:31] Unknown:
Cartella. This is wet wash. Why do you want this house? We are because I don't want anyone to buy. My late husband, Thurman, wet wash, wants to own this house and see if it's treasure map somewhere in this room. Now if you guys will help me find that map, you can dig up the treasure and steal it and you'll eat that at all. Okay. But remember rabbit, I want my full fern 20%. I
[00:16:54] Unknown:
Nutella will help me with what? Well, can you take turns honing the house until the map is found? Costello, you take the first eight hour shift. Sure. I'll I'll wait a minute. Why should I take the first eight hour shift? Alright. So mister Evan, you take the first And, Costello, you can come next door to my house and you go into the parlor and mess. Well, you talk me into it. You're coming with me? No. I'm taking the first shift. Well, I've been sitting here by myself in the dark for hours, but the darkness doesn't frighten me. Being alone doesn't frighten me. All this silence doesn't frighten me. That frightened.
Hey, Abbot. Abbot. That was the Abbot coming. He must have heard me. Abbot, I'm in here. Abbot, you're all good stuff at the door. Where did you learn to walk on a ceiling like that? Look at Abbot. She's walking on a ceiling?
[00:17:58] Unknown:
Hey, Abbot. Check yourself.
[00:18:01] Unknown:
Don't be fighting. Don't be fighting, little fat man. I'm a fine girl. I never heard any butt. I can't help with a fine girl. Oh, you you seem alright. Tell me. How did you become a ghost? Well, up until three weeks ago, I was a man just like you, and I had no place to live. I left and left and left for a house. And finally, I located this house. And when I found out it was vacant, I dropped dead.
[00:18:27] Unknown:
That's a sad story. That's really a sad story, but my uncle Mike became a ghost under very similar circumstances. He did? Yes. He spent three years tunneling his way out of Kansas City and came up in the gas chamber. That's sad, please. But I was giving you a favor. There's a very ugly woman that keeps running through this house every night, and I'm afraid of her. None of us keeps going through to her. You mean none of you spoke to speak to her?
[00:18:53] Unknown:
Don't tell me how to do a new thing. I used to be dealt with a truck.
[00:18:57] Unknown:
You have to pay how much money? 7 bones a week. What's the nest, Dalton?
[00:19:35] Unknown:
You boys, we see in the garden, and we'll give up the treasure and split it.
[00:19:51] Unknown:
Hey, Cartel. Are you sure you're reading that map right? You dug up with so goddamn you found no treasure. Hey, Cartel. Let me see if you can get there. Here it is. Do it for yourself. Just take two steps forward, two steps right, and three steps back into that. Yeah. Take two steps forward, two steps to the right Mhmm. And three steps back. Really?
[00:20:12] Unknown:
Why you whale racing what brain weevil? This is no pussy mess. This is a dancing lesson from Arthur Murray. Oh, I know it. What am I going to do now?
[00:20:26] Unknown:
Shall we dance?
[00:20:37] Unknown:
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Judy was boring. Hello. Then Judy discovered chumbacasino.com.
[00:00:05] Unknown:
It's my little escape.
[00:00:06] Unknown:
Now Judy's the life of the party. Oh, baby. Mama's bringing home the bacon. Woah. Take it easy, Judy. Chumba. The Chumba Life is for everybody. So go to Chumbacasino.com and play over a hundred casino style games. Join today and play for free for your chance to redeem some serious prizes. Chumba. Chumbacasino.com. No purchase necessary for you. We're prohibited by law. 18 plus terms and conditions apply. See website for details. With Lucky Land slots, you can get lucky just about anywhere. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to has anyone seen the bride and groom?
[00:00:39] Unknown:
Sorry. Sorry. We're here. We were getting lucky in the limo, and we lost track of time.
[00:00:44] Unknown:
No. Lucky Lane Casino with cash prizes that add up quicker than a guest registry. In that case, I pronounce you lucky.
[00:00:51] Unknown:
Play for free at luckylandslots.com. Daily bonuses are waiting. No purchase necessary. Void were prohibited by law. 18 plus. Terms and conditions apply. See website for details.
[00:01:46] Unknown:
That's right folks. B for comedy, J for Abbott, M for Maxwell, E for Emma, L for Luke Costello. Put them all together and they spell camel. Experience is the best pizza. Try a camel. Let your own experience tell you why more people are soaking camos than ever before. And draw up a chair for tonight's camel show. Time for devil and Luke Costello. Hey, Catella, Catella, come here. Come over here. Why are you late again? Well how about I stop the music, sir, to get one of our records of our baseball routine? But there was a guy in there ahead of me and bought everyone they had for us. Us. He wants to find out who's out first. Well, all right. Tell her. We'll tell her. All right. Well, I'll forget about it. How are you doing on that job I got you last week? Oh, forget that. What do you mean? Job. Yeah. Well, I worked there five days.
Five days. Isn't that pretty darned? George, I defy anybody to find out how dumb I am in five days.
[00:03:03] Unknown:
I know.
[00:03:04] Unknown:
I know. That should teach you. You know, that should teach you the value of education. Oh, That should teach you the value of education. Education. Did you get graduation, darling? No? High school? No? Grade school? No. You're getting hot. Oh, wait a minute. Doesn't that make you, an ignoramus? No. But it's your help. Anyhow, I did my folks to the floor to send me to school. We were so poor my mother used to send me out on the street to bake for a piece of whole wheat bread. Why were wheat bread? We were poor but we were proud. Well I had a happy childhood at it. You did? Every morning I'd take my father's hand and we'd walk to school together. Then at 04:00 I'd talk to them and take them home again.
[00:03:49] Unknown:
That's all your money. Old man was going to school. I think you're going.
[00:03:53] Unknown:
Yeah. I know. That's all your mother your mother must have had a struggle with that family, but now you can make you can make up to her. You can make up everything. Remember that Sunday is mother's day. That's right, Adam. Next Sunday is mother's day. Oh, then you do remember mother's day. Sure. My mother always sends me something. Why are you the idiot? You're supposed to send your mother something. Now last year, I sent my mother a check for a hundred dollars. By the way, that reminds me, I never did get that check back from the bank. No? But I'll bet your mother did. I, please.
Hey. Hey. Hey. No remarks like that. Just tell them my checks are good. I have plenty of money. Why it cost me $10,000 a year just to live. Have it? It ain't worth it. No, god. I have. Tell them I have. What are you going to tell your mother this year? I think I'll get a brand new 1947 Cadillac. Where can you get a 1947 Cadillac? You can get all you want of them from the Cadillac company if you're a property owner. Well, no. But what kind of property do you have to own? The Cadillac company. Oh, no. You idiot. You haven't got enough money to buy a new car. Oh no? Then I'll put up my collection of rare coins. I got it right here. Look at it.
2 quarters, 3 dimes, and a nickel. Well, these are not rare coins. Here they are. Heather, will you only $10 to buy them on the night's present? No. I will not. Do you need money? I know where you can get a thousand dollars just for spending the night in a haunted house. Good. Is that just the kind of job? Haunted house. You see the owner wants to sell it, and he's willing to give a thousand dollars to the first man that would spend the night that has to break the sale. You know, the seller of the goat. That's I ain't gonna get mixed up with no ghost. What do you mean? When people stop walking and talking, I'm through it.
[00:05:35] Unknown:
No. It's not that, Sophie.
[00:05:38] Unknown:
Just tell a ghost is not real. When you see a ghost, you see an apparition. Abbott, when I had my apparition for up front of the center, all I told was a cockatoo and a beautiful nurse. No. No. No. No. I'm not talking about an operation. I'm talking about an apparition. Abbot, what in hallucination are you talking about? Hello. I ain't talking about ghosts. Haven't. That ghost may speak to me, but I ain't spoken to him. I ain't had enough conversation with those strange ghosts. But you can't speak to a ghost. No. You just said the ghost spoke to me with you, two years ago. You have nothing to be afraid of because because, the ghost is, the house. You see, the house is only a rumor. Boy. Well, what did you say? And I really mean, what did you say?
I said the ghost in the house is only a rumor. I couldn't care if he was alone. I love you, darling. This ghost is a rumor. A rumor is a tale. At least it's a tale. That's it. I ain't going to no house where it's a ghost with a fishtail. No, no, no, no. Listen to me. I'm not going to I ain't going to no house where it's a ghost with a picture of tail. No. No. No. Listen, God. So I'm trying to explain to you what a ghost is. Now let's take for example a ghost motion picture. Did you see the ghost picture that Irene Dunn did? Dunn did. Yeah.
What kind of cock is that? Can you turn turn? No. No. No. Look, I tell Irene Dunn did affect her. A ghost picture. Did you see the picture that Irene Dunn did? Look, Adam, it. If Irene Dunn get it, I just thought you all. Well, I nice fella, please. When you listen to me, I'm talking about the star Irene Dunn. Now you know that Dunn does take Dunne doesn't? Well, cut my mouth. I didn't know that Dunne doesn't. I thought that does doesn't. That's everything. Yeehaw. Look at that. I'm talking about the ghost picture that Irene Dunne did. When I say that Irene Dunne did a picture, I don't mean that Irene Dunn done a picture. I mean that Irene Dunn did a picture and the picture that Dunn did is what Dunn's done. Oh, when you say that Irene Irene Dunn did a picture, you don't mean that Irene Dunn did a picture. You mean that Irene Dunn did a picture and the picture that Dunn did is what John Now you've got it. Now I've got it. I don't even know what I'm talking about.
Experienced in thinking about taking that job in the home house. A thousand dollars would, buy your mother a nice present for mother's day. Yet have it, I've been thinking of the ghost all day. I even want to see the ghost picture that Irene Dunne did. There's an old guy in that picture that takes beautiful girls into the haunted house and they're never seen it again. That old man must be a teen. He may be a teen but he ain't no joke. Right? Well I continue here. Oh yes yes yes. You've got a teen what went on into the corner's house. Scene there's a gunshot and a potty. Murder. Murder. And the second scene is a gunshot and another potty. Murder. Murder. And the first scene is a beautiful blonde sweater girl.
Murder. Murder. Well never mind that. Hey. Here's the office of the real estate broker who is offering that reward to the man who will spend the night in the haunted house. Now tell her you're going to earn that money and you can spend a thousand dollars to your mother. Yeah. My mother's to do that money to help one of our relatives get cured of a nervous breakdown. Who's a relative with the nervous breakdown? That's why I spend the night in that haunted house. He no. Don't say it. We're going in there and get you that job. Well, good morning gentlemen. What can I do for you? My friend, Costello, wants to spend the night in your haunted house and earn that thousand dollars. Yeah. As the cow says to the farmer with a big hand boy what it? Yes.
[00:09:19] Unknown:
Now tell
[00:09:21] Unknown:
me, tell me Costello, Have you ever had any experience with those? Oh sure. One time I saw a whole flock of those sitting around a campfire. What were they doing? Telling people stories. Oh good. Well then, Costello, you'll take the job. Not me. I ain't spending the night in a haunted house. Costello. You're not afraid of those? You're not a famous jellyfish. You're not a pussyfoot. You're not a cringing yellow flower. You want a pet? Mister Brown, Cartelow will take the job. Oh, goody, goody, goody. Cartelow, the job is yours. Here's the rest of the haunted house and the city owner said to Mallory Maxwell, here's the key.
Well, I'll see you tomorrow morning. I hope. Well come on, Custer. Phil, let's go across the street to that bookstore and I'll buy you a book on how to handle those. Look out. Look out that car customer. Look out. What do you know? You stopped for it. Must be an Hiya. Tell us what? Give me a minute. Give me. That's that's all I'm going to spend the night in the haunted house. Oh yeah? Yep. You know how your house used to be haunted? It's haunted by the ghost of a bottle of bourbon. Oh you're nice, Ginny. How could a bottle of bourbon, bumble bourbon can't die? Oh no. I was at the night my father killed it.
Abbie if Destiny ever becomes a ghost he will need a seat. And if his tea bag would cover him. Never mind him. Let's go into the bookstore. Pardon me. That lady over there where the ghost books are. I told her. Pardon me, miss? Could you tell me where Hell, if it isn't mister Albert and mister Costello.
[00:10:58] Unknown:
You soft little one. You. Well, well, miss. What are you doing here in the bookstore? Oh, I just wrote in the booze among the best brewers. The best brewers?
[00:11:10] Unknown:
Oh, well, but you know what best brewers are. That's like for Uber, and how bloom was my bully.
[00:11:18] Unknown:
By any chance, have you read Uncle Sue's a Cuban?
[00:11:22] Unknown:
Yow. But I prefer but I prefer the three little cooking who wants their mutton.
[00:11:30] Unknown:
But I must be chosen along. As we say in Siamese, old as hockey, pull a cockatista
[00:11:35] Unknown:
and dress it to you. And an old pot pull a cockatista cheese and a kisser to you too. Come on Jack. That old. Come on. Nice plug for the ghost book. Hey. Hey. There's there's Marilyn. Our lovely Marilyn Oldsmobile. Marilyn Oldsmobile. You mean Marilyn Maxwell. Abbott, did you ever see a Maxwell with a tatty like that? I know.
[00:11:57] Unknown:
Oh,
[00:11:58] Unknown:
mister Abbott. Hello, Louis darling. Marilyn darling, every time I see you, my heart goes to the patty. Knock, knock. Put a patty. Wait. Wait. Knock, knock. What's the knot for? My engine always knocked when it's warming up.
[00:12:09] Unknown:
Quiet, Gautella. Marilyn, that's still going to make a thousand dollars by spending the night in a haunted house. Oh, Louis. Aren't you afraid? Afraid of what? Well, for support while you're sitting there in that haunted house, an ugly, stupid, giddiest face could appear before you. That's one thing I don't have to worry about. Have it. Got a date tonight. Come
[00:12:29] Unknown:
on, Godzilla. We've we've gotta get that ghost book. Come on. Lewis,
[00:12:32] Unknown:
remember the last time we met in a bookstore
[00:12:35] Unknown:
when the clerk wasn't looking at me? He kissed me. Shame on you, Costello. Making love to Maryland in a public bookstore. Where did you get it? You've seen the novels in the natural
[00:12:53] Unknown:
would you like for me to come and sit with you tonight in that haunted home? I couldn't let you do that, to save a place to come up and put his arms around you. Oh, a ghost wouldn't do that. Every ghost has his own girlfriend.
[00:13:07] Unknown:
Well, come on, Gaston. Let's get in the doctor. You gotta get over to that haunted house. Well that's Ellen. Here's a haunted house. Put her with a pussy looking drink. What's another? Adam. There's that big black thing following me. You don't like your channel. Yeah? Then why ain't it doing what I'm doing? Never mind. I'd open the door. Tap it. Just start in here. I ain't gonna stay in this house. Oh, don't be silly, Cartelo. There's nothing you'd be scared about. Careful, Cartelo. Don't step on that hat. Well, come on, Cartelo. It's It's almost 12:00 tonight. If you wanna get that thousand dollars, you better get inside that haunted house and stay there until morning. Abbot, there must be something else wrong with that house. Why? It's been vacant two years. Not even a veteran has tried to rent it.
Hey, Abbot. What's the matter? I see two hands in front of me. Now they're coming together. 12:00. Twelve o'clock. Well, what time? That must be Pacific ghost time. Hey Abbot, I'm getting out of here. There's a guy I want to see outside. Oh me. See you later. Alright come back here you pussy. Look over there Abbot. There's a ghost in the corner. I think it's a lady goat. That makes you think it's a lady goat. Wearing a low cut teeth. I'm getting out of here now. Shame on you, you coward. Only a baby would be afraid of a ghost. Abbot, please ask me the pablum.
Hello, boy. I'm a ghost. Wait a minute. You're a ghost. Put your feet. You're wearing a blanket. It gets cold at night in California's kids. Hey. What's the matter with you, cusser? Just one of those stooks coming up the stairs now. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait a minute. Nutella, you're right. But but but don't don't worry. I know I know how to break the sun of the ghost. You must pull the feet off that thing. Now I'll stick around in the back of it, and you pull the feet off. Oh, no. You don't. Oh, alright then. You pull the seat off, and I'll stick around in the back. That's better. Wait a minute. That's the same thing. Wait. I said I grab the seat off it goes.
Hello. It's mrs. Wet one. Have it. Put the seat back on.
[00:15:36] Unknown:
Thomas Lab it. You'll be joining this haunted house with that horrible Halloween pumpkin. Oh, pardon me. It's not yellow.
[00:15:44] Unknown:
I wish you hadn't said that mrs. But was Only today I was telling that but what sparkling white piece you had. Oh, for who? Did you notice him when I smiled? No. I passed your house this morning. They were hanging on a clothesline. Quiet, Cartella. Listen, with what? What are you doing in this haunted house masquerading as a ghost? Boys, I'm going to take you into my confidence. I'm going to give you a picture that nobody else knows. Maybe she's gonna tell us the right answer. Quiet, trust me. What is it, missus Webber? Well, Priscilla, are you sure you can keep a picture? Certainly. I saw that new picture last night, and I wouldn't even tell anybody why George Eppley was late.
[00:16:17] Unknown:
Yeah.
[00:16:18] Unknown:
And I'll tell you. You can just tell it is really haunted. No. But just believe it's playing the part of a monster paced ghost. That's the best piece of casting we've had on this show all
[00:16:31] Unknown:
Cartella. This is wet wash. Why do you want this house? We are because I don't want anyone to buy. My late husband, Thurman, wet wash, wants to own this house and see if it's treasure map somewhere in this room. Now if you guys will help me find that map, you can dig up the treasure and steal it and you'll eat that at all. Okay. But remember rabbit, I want my full fern 20%. I
[00:16:54] Unknown:
Nutella will help me with what? Well, can you take turns honing the house until the map is found? Costello, you take the first eight hour shift. Sure. I'll I'll wait a minute. Why should I take the first eight hour shift? Alright. So mister Evan, you take the first And, Costello, you can come next door to my house and you go into the parlor and mess. Well, you talk me into it. You're coming with me? No. I'm taking the first shift. Well, I've been sitting here by myself in the dark for hours, but the darkness doesn't frighten me. Being alone doesn't frighten me. All this silence doesn't frighten me. That frightened.
Hey, Abbot. Abbot. That was the Abbot coming. He must have heard me. Abbot, I'm in here. Abbot, you're all good stuff at the door. Where did you learn to walk on a ceiling like that? Look at Abbot. She's walking on a ceiling?
[00:17:58] Unknown:
Hey, Abbot. Check yourself.
[00:18:01] Unknown:
Don't be fighting. Don't be fighting, little fat man. I'm a fine girl. I never heard any butt. I can't help with a fine girl. Oh, you you seem alright. Tell me. How did you become a ghost? Well, up until three weeks ago, I was a man just like you, and I had no place to live. I left and left and left for a house. And finally, I located this house. And when I found out it was vacant, I dropped dead.
[00:18:27] Unknown:
That's a sad story. That's really a sad story, but my uncle Mike became a ghost under very similar circumstances. He did? Yes. He spent three years tunneling his way out of Kansas City and came up in the gas chamber. That's sad, please. But I was giving you a favor. There's a very ugly woman that keeps running through this house every night, and I'm afraid of her. None of us keeps going through to her. You mean none of you spoke to speak to her?
[00:18:53] Unknown:
Don't tell me how to do a new thing. I used to be dealt with a truck.
[00:18:57] Unknown:
You have to pay how much money? 7 bones a week. What's the nest, Dalton?
[00:19:35] Unknown:
You boys, we see in the garden, and we'll give up the treasure and split it.
[00:19:51] Unknown:
Hey, Cartel. Are you sure you're reading that map right? You dug up with so goddamn you found no treasure. Hey, Cartel. Let me see if you can get there. Here it is. Do it for yourself. Just take two steps forward, two steps right, and three steps back into that. Yeah. Take two steps forward, two steps to the right Mhmm. And three steps back. Really?
[00:20:12] Unknown:
Why you whale racing what brain weevil? This is no pussy mess. This is a dancing lesson from Arthur Murray. Oh, I know it. What am I going to do now?
[00:20:26] Unknown:
Shall we dance?
[00:20:37] Unknown:
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