Abbott and Costello Show

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In this lively episode, we dive into a humorous and chaotic conversation that touches on everything from casino games to the peculiarities of personal preferences. Our host, Ryan, shares his love for Chumba Casino, a platform offering a wide array of social casino-style games, and invites listeners to join in the fun. The conversation takes a comedic turn as we explore a classic comedy sketch involving a debate over mustard, hot dogs, and the absurdity of personal dislikes, all delivered with quick wit and playful banter.

As the episode unfolds, we also touch on the topic of U.S. Savings Bonds, with a comedic twist. The discussion humorously navigates through the benefits of investing in savings bonds, with characters debating the merits and logistics of such investments. The episode is a delightful mix of humor, personal anecdotes, and a touch of financial advice, all wrapped up in a comedic package that keeps listeners entertained from start to finish.

(00:30) Introduction and Fun Facts

(01:03) Comedic Banter and Studio Tour

(03:11) The Mustard Debate

(05:21) Financial Advice and Savings Bonds

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[00:01:04] Unknown:

Why don't you keep quiet? We're down here to do a job, Lou. Oh, that's swell. Beautiful studio here too. You like it here? Marvelous studio. I like it. Yeah. It's wonderful. Hey, Albert. Fine. Get a little bit of beautiful wall over there. Well oh, yes. Yes. You know what that wall reminds me of? What? This one over here. I well, with Ashley.   What? Walls are walls?   Suppose you walked over there and you bore a hole in that wall. Alright. I walk over there and I bore a hole in the wall. Why? Why should you go over there and borrow a hole in that wall? I'm not pouring a hole in the wall. Why should you go over there and borrow a hole in that wall? Oh, no. You just said to me, suppose you go over there and bore a hole in the wall. That's the question. Dope. You'd have to   I should hope you don't have to see if I won't bore a hole in the wall. We're not gonna put that blade on the neighborhood. I don't go around and bore no holes in the wall. I mean, after all, if I wanna get out of here, I don't have to go out through a hole in the wall. I know that. They got exites here if I wanna get out. Exites. Oh, yeah. What makes you so dumb? That just comes to me naturally. That's what I thought. Look. Suppose you walk into a baseball park. What teams are playing? I don't know. Then what are you doing in the baseball park?  

You got me in there now. Get me out. Alright. Alright. Okay. Wait a minute. What is the first thing you buy when you enter a baseball park? A hot dog. A a hot dog. Not mustard. Oh, no. Mustard goes with a hot dog. Not with mine. Mustard was goes with a hot dog. I don't care what the mustard goes with. I'm not gonna eat it. I don't like it. I mean, after all Wait a minute. Just a minute. Don't get excited. The mustard and the hot dog go together. Let them go together. I don't wanna spoil any romance. Who's talking about a romance? I mean, after all, if I don't like mustard, I don't have to hear you or anybody else. Alright. I didn't know anything. What do you think? Yeah. Big man. If you tell me to eat mustard, I gotta eat mustard. Well, let's forget about it. I got my likes and dislikes. Alright. We'll figure it out. I'm not gonna eat mustard for you, ain't nobody? I   I mean, after all, mustard burns my tongue, and I'm not gonna burn my tongue for you. I don't eat it. This is a free country. I know that. If you wanna eat mustard, you eat it. If it's all you don't have. Alright. Well, don't shout. There's no law that you got. No. No. No. I know that. I know that. Mustard makes me sick. Alright. Alright. Who do you think you wanna tell me I gotta eat something that I don't wanna eat? Please. I'm a married man. I've got a wife until June. I understand that. If I eat mustard, I get sick. I can't work. What happened to my kids? Just a minute. Stay right up for the orphanage. Oh, hello. You're a fine guy, sending my kids to an office out. You don't get excited. What have my kids ever done to you? No. I'm not. Alright. You gotta put them away in the office at them. Have a good one.  

Get my kids out of the office. Wait a minute.   What started all this nonsense? Mustard. Mustard. Wait Wait a minute. Just a minute. You just don't like mustard. I like Worcestershire shares, George. You like vodka?   Worcestershire shares, George.   Worcestershire shares, George. You're a penny of shares. Yeah. But you don't like mustard. I love Worcestershire shares, because. Look. Suppose you walk out on a bridge and you jump off the edge. I'm not jumping off any place. What are you doing on the bridge? You see? Things I don't like, and it's bridges and mustard. And if you wanna burn me up, brother, all you gotta do is stick me in the middle of a bridge with a handful of mud. Wait a minute. Just a minute.   You don't like mustard.  

Give me a reason. What are you, some big shot or something too big a guy to like mustard? I don't care for that stuff. I'm not gonna die yet. Do you know where mustard comes from?   You know where mustard comes from? I know they don't scrape it off a mustard plant. No. No. No.   They manufacture mustard. You know they spend millions of dollars every year to put up factories just to manufacture mustard? I am. Do you know those factories employ thousands and thousands of men just to manufacture mustard? I am. And you just because you don't like mustard, what do you want them to do? Close those factories down and pull all those people out of work? Now just a minute. Don't charge me. Do you mean to stand there and tell me that those thousands of people are making one little jar of mustard just for me? No. No. No. Wait. Let me If the guy, you could tell him not to make any more because I'm not gonna eat Alright. Well, let's put you on a mouth.   If I eat that little jar of mustard that those thousands of people are making for me in a mustard factory, what happens to the poor people working in a witcher charity? Wait a minute. Just a minute.  

Let's close one factory at a time.   Take all the people I put out of work in a mustard factory and put them back to work on that bridge and build it up again. Wait a minute. Why why don't you answer that? What does all this got to do with me born a hole in a wall? Never mind that. Listen. All work. You'll get a bill for that before you leave the studio. All I wanna know is I got one bill already. Answer Answer one question, will you, please? Just one teeny weeny question. Me something with a little sense to it. Will you answer it? Yeah.   Alright. Yeah. Alright. Say you walk into a restaurant. You walk into a restaurant, and the waiter places on, one side of the table,   a big juicy steak and one side a platter of beans. Now which one would you eat? I ate the steak.  

You eat steak. Do you know where that steak comes from? A cow. A cow. I hope. Yo.   You know what that cow gives? No. That cow gives milk. No. She don't. You gotta take it away.   Say,   Costello.   Yes. What do you want?   Got $3 on you.   I asked you if you'll have the sum of $3 in legal tender. Oh, I was afraid you were asking me if I had $3. I was. Why?   What do you mean why? Why do you wanna know if I got $3? Well, I, Trying to make a touch, hon. No. No. No. It was only, Why must you always try to borrow? Why don't you go to work? Oh, no. Why don't you shut up? I just wanted to show you how you can get $4 for every $3 you got. Something thing sounds awfully fishy around here. Not at all, Lou. Now if you just give your money to my uncle Sam, he'll give you back $4 for every $3 you give him in ten years. Four for three? Four for three. In ten years? In ten years. Your Uncle Sam? My Uncle Sam. How is he related to you? On your mother's side, your father's side, or on your honest side? Oh, Costello. Come on.   Look, please, Lucas. What's the hitch? No. No. No. There's no hitch. Just give Uncle Sam your money. He gives you a savings bond. In ten years, you get back $4 for $3. Simple. You must think I am too. No. No. No. What's the trouble, fellas? Well, you see, Costello here doesn't believe he can get $4 for every $3 he invests in Uncle Sam's savings bond. Oh, did you tell a whopper? Yo. I do so believe you, Abbot. I just don't trust you. No. Yeah. But Abbot tried, Lou. United States savings bonds do return $4 for every $3. United States savings bonds?  

Why, I know all about them. I buy some every week regularly. And my uncles and aunts and my cousins, my whole family, they all buy them every week too right where they work. Yeah. They they make chinstraps for people who lose their heads.   Well, the, the payroll savings plan is the easy regular way to say. They got all the details from the boss. He fixed them up good. I'd like to fix you up good,   stealing credit for my idea. Your idea? Yes. Your idea? Why I knew The United States saving funds are the world's finest investment.   I buy loads of them. And my advice to everyone is to buy some U. S. Savings funds now and buy them regularly.