In this special holiday episode, we dive into the enchanting world of Lewis Carroll's "Alice in Wonderland," brought to life by the NBC University Theatre. The story begins with the Reverend Charles Dodgson, better known by his pen name Lewis Carroll, who entertains three young girls with a whimsical tale during a picnic by the Thames. As the story unfolds, we follow Alice on her curious journey through Wonderland, where she encounters a series of bizarre and fantastical characters, including the White Rabbit, the Cheshire Cat, and the Mad Hatter.
Listeners are treated to a vivid dramatization of Alice's adventures, from her fall down the rabbit hole to the peculiar tea party with the March Hare and the Mad Hatter. The episode captures the essence of Carroll's classic, highlighting Alice's encounters with the eccentric inhabitants of Wonderland and her quest to make sense of the nonsensical world around her. With Dinah Shore starring as Alice, this adaptation brings a timeless story to life, offering a delightful escape into a world where logic is turned on its head and imagination reigns supreme.
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Unknown:
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Plus.
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This is the NBC University Theatre, bringing you a seasonal play in the holiday spirit, a story beloved by the young and hard of every generation. We present the Lewis Carroll classic, Alice in Wonderland, starring Dinah Shore as Alice. Once upon a time in England, while Victoria was queen, there lived a dignified gentleman named the Reverend Charles Dodgson, MA, who who taught mathematics at Oxford and wrote books with titles like The Condensation of Determinants. The reverend Dodgson had another name, which probably almost everybody has heard at least once, and this is how the respectable Oxford Clergyman came to lead a double life.
In the year 1862, near to the university, they lived three little girls, daughters of the dean of Christ's church. And in the summer, the good reverend Dodgson used to take these little girls on picnics along the Thames River. After the hard boiled eggs were all eaten and the lemonade was all gone, the girls would leave off picking flowers and chasing butterflies and gather around their host. And the middle one, whose name was Alice, would say firmly, tell us a story. This is the wonderful tale that the Oxford Don told his little friends. He published it afterwards and called it Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and signed it Lewis Carroll.
It started this way. Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank and of having nothing to do.
[00:03:02] Unknown:
Emily? Emily? Emily? Alice, please. I'm reading. Oh, alright. Are you reading one of father's books? Mhmm. Because they don't have any pictures or conversations in them. I don't see how you can Alice did. Why don't you make a daisy, Jane? There are lots of beauties on the bank. It's too hot and stupid this afternoon. Tell me a story, Emily. Later. But there's nothing to do now. Well, it's such a sleepy afternoon. Everything's sleepy. The river's sleepy. The birds are sleeping. The grass is sleeping. The clouds are Well, fancy. A white rabbit with pink eyes.
Well, anyhow, he seems to be in a hurry. Oh, the poor dear can't get his watch out of his waistcoat pocket. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. I shall be too late. The duchess will be furious. I shall be so late. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. What a funny little rabbit and such a beautiful purple waistcoat. Westcoat? That's odd. I've never seen a rabbit with one before. I should be so horribly. Wait. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, there he goes down a rabbit hole. Wait for me, rabbit. It seems big enough to go down. I think I'll lean over and see.
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Oh. Oh.
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Oops. I wonder where I'm falling to. It must be a dreadful distance down. After this, I shall think nothing of falling downstairs. How brave they'll think me at home. I wonder if I shall fall right through the earth. How funny it'll seem to come out among the people that walk with their heads downwards. I had it in geography, the Antipodes, I think. No. That doesn't sound right. But I shall have to ask them the name of the country. Please, ma'am. Is this New Zealand? Fancy asking that. What a dreadful long time I've been falling. Dinah, old miss midnight.
She's such an intelligent cat. I hope they remember her milk. Dinah, dear, I wish you were here with me. There aren't any mice in the air, but then you might catch a bat, and that's very like a mouse. But do cats eat bats, I wonder? Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats? Do bats eat cats? Do bats eat cats? Do cats eat cats?
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Oh,
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well, I'm down, and I seem to be in one piece. And there goes the white rabbit.
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Oh, my ears and whiskers, how weight it's getting. The duchess will be furious. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, he's gone.
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I don't know how he did it. There doesn't seem to be any way out of here. Let's see now. He went down this side. Oh, he has a door, but it's locked, and it's so tiny I shall never fit through. There must be a key somewhere. Oh, here it is on this glass table. Let's see now. Oh, what a lovely garden. If only I could get through the door. Oh, I wish I could shut up like a telescope. I think I could if I only knew the way to begin. Well, I might as well shut the door. It's no use. I suppose I should put the key back where I found it. Now that's odd.
This bottle wasn't here before. Drink me. Drink you? Well, that's all very well, but maybe you're poison. No. It isn't marked. Alright then. It's all kinds of flavors. It's good. What a curious feeling. I must be shutting up like a telescope. I do hope it stops. I might go out altogether like a candle. Goodness. I'm glad it stopped. I should hate to be like a candle flame after you've blown it out, but I'm small enough now to get through the door into the garden. I'll be able to see oh, I've left the key on top of the table, and I can't possibly reach it.
Oh, I shall never get up. Oh, come now. There's no use crying. Alice, I advise you to leave off this minute. But there's no use to pretend to be two people now and give myself advice. There's hardly enough left for me to make one respectable person. Oh, dear. I did wanna get into the garden. Eat me. What? Oh, there's a cake under the table. I didn't see it before. Eat me. Alright. I might as well. If it makes me larger, I can reach the key. And if the other way, I can creep under the door. It's good. Now which way? Which way?
Curiouser and curiouser. I'm growing again. Oh, I'm growing too much. I'm opening out like the largest telescope there ever was. There go my feet. Goodbye, feet. Oh, my head. Well, at least I've stopped growing. I must be nine feet tall, but I still can't get into the garden. Oh, dear. How, Bexy. You wanna be ashamed. A great big girl had you crying. Stop it.
[00:10:07] Unknown:
Oh, there's the rabbit again. Oh, the Duchess. The Duchess. Won't you be savage if I've kept her waiting? Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Excuse me, mister Radcliffe. I wouldn't Good heavens. A giant. This is too much.
[00:10:19] Unknown:
Oh, I wish he wouldn't run away so. He's dropped his fan in gloves. Everything's so clear today. I feel so different. But if I'm not the same, who in the world am I? I'm sure I'm not Ada. Her hair goes in ringlets and mine pheasant. Besides, she's she and I'm I I'll see if I know the things I used to know. I'll try and say how ducked the little how doth the little crocodile improve its shining tail and pour the waters of the Nile on every golden scale. How cheerfully he seems to grin, how neatly spreads his claws, and welcomes little fishes in with gently smiling jaws.
Oh oh, I'm sure those aren't the right words. I'm not me at all. I put my hand in the rabbit's glove. I've grown small again, and I can go through the door into the garden. No. I've left the key on top of the table. Now things are worse than they were. I declare it's too bad. It's certainly it oh. Oh, I'm slipping. Salt water. Now how did that get oh, it must be the tears I wept when I was nine feet high. I wish I hadn't cried so much. I shall be drowned in my own tears. Oh, look. It's a mouse. Mister mouse, do you know the way out of this pool? I'm I'm awfully tired of swimming. Oh, perhaps it doesn't understand English.
I I dare say it's a French mouse that came over with William the Conqueror. Let's see now. What French do I know? Well, I never. Oh, I beg your pardon. I quite forgot you don't like cats, mister Miles. Cats are little vulgar things. Are you, are you fond of dogs? There's such a nice little dog near our house. A little brownish terrier. It'll fetch things when you throw them and play dead and sit up in bed, and you should see a killing rat.
[00:12:49] Unknown:
Young lady, let's get out of this pool, and I'll tell you why I hate cats and dogs. And besides, it's getting crowded in here.
[00:13:12] Unknown:
What
[00:13:13] Unknown:
a queer lot of creatures there were in the pool. They aren't queer. You are. You have no fur or feathers.
[00:13:21] Unknown:
Why? I don't even know who you are. I'm a lorry. A what?
[00:13:26] Unknown:
A lorry. Yes. And that's a dodo. There's an eaglet and a duck. They're not queer. You are. I'm older than you and must know better. How old are you then? Won't tell.
[00:13:38] Unknown:
But then how can you know if you're older? Hold your tongue. The mouse is going to speak. Sit down, all of you. The first thing is for all of us to get dry. Everybody sit down in a ring. There. That's right. Now, this is the driest thing I know.
[00:13:54] Unknown:
William the conqueror, whose cause was favored by the pope, but soon submitted to by the English. Edwin and Marker, the earls of Northumbria, declared for him, and even the archbishop of Canterbury found it advisable. Found what? Found it. You know what it means. I know what it is when I find a thing. It's generally a worm. But what did the archbishop find? Besides, I'm still wet as ever. What we need to get dry is a caucus race. A caucus race? That's right. Everybody spread out in a circle and then up and away.
[00:14:36] Unknown:
Alright. The race is over. But who has won? Everybody has won, and Alice is to give the prize as me.
[00:14:47] Unknown:
I don't know what. Oh, wait. I have some chocolates in my apron pocket. Here.
[00:14:55] Unknown:
But she must have a prize herself. Of course.
[00:14:59] Unknown:
What else have you in your pocket? Only a thimble. Well, hand it over. We beg your acceptance of this elegant thimble as your prize. Why, thank you, sir.
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Yay.
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She got the best prize.
[00:15:16] Unknown:
Well, I never You certainly didn't That's rude. I wish I had Dinah here. She's polite. And who might I venture to ask is Dinah? Dinah's our cat, and she's such a capital one for catching mice. And, oh, I wish you could see her after the birds. Well, she'll eat a little bird as soon as look at it. Oh, dear. They're all gone. I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah. Nobody seems to like cats here. Dear Dinah, I wonder if I shall ever see you anymore.
[00:15:56] Unknown:
The Duchess. The Duchess. Oh, my dear. Pause my fur and whiskers. She'll get me executed as sure as fowards are fowards. Oh, now here's the white rabbit back. I must remember not to mention Donna and frighten him off. Why, Mary Anne, what are you doing here? Oh, I'm not Mary Anne. I'm Alice. Nonsense. You must be Mary Anne. One homeless minute fetched me a pair of gloves and a fan. Quick now. I must be off. Remember, pair of gloves and a fan. He took me for his housemaid, but I better get his gloves or he'll be furious.
[00:16:29] Unknown:
I shall have to hurry before the real Mary Anne catches me. Fancy running errands for a white rabbit. I suppose Don will be sending me me on messages next or have me watching mouse holes. Now the gloves must be in here somewhere. Oh, there they are on the chest and the fan. Drink me. Oh, another of those bottles. Drink me. Well, I might as well. I know something interesting is sure to happen. I hope it'll make me grow large again. I'm tired of being such a tiny thing. Oops. Here I go. I think maybe I'm growing too fast. I hope it stops soon.
We shan't be able to get out the door. I better kneel so I fit. Maybe if I put one arm out the window, there, now I can get my foot up the chimney. Now, what will become of me? There. Thank goodness I've stopped growing. Oh, it was much pleasanter at home when one wasn't always growing larger and smaller and being ordered about by rabbits. When I grow up out but I'm grown up now. At least there's no more room to grow up here.
[00:17:59] Unknown:
Mary Anne. Mary Anne. Let me in at once. That's my glow.
[00:18:04] Unknown:
Let me in. The white rabbit won't be able to get in with me filling the room. Oh, well, then I'll go round and get in by the window. I don't know why I'm trembling. I must be at least a thousand times larger than the rabbit. There he is outside the window. I'll just grab. Heavens.
[00:18:22] Unknown:
He must have fallen into a cucumber frame. Pat. Pat. Where are you? Where is that gardener? Sure. And I'm here getting four apples, your honor. Well, come and help me out of this. Now what's that in the window? Sure. And it's an arm, your honor. Nonsense. It fills the whole window. Whoever saw an arm that big? It's an arm, nevertheless. Well, listen, Pat. Come here. I'll tell you what we'll do.
[00:18:49] Unknown:
Oh, dear. They must both be trying to get in the window. I'll just have to grab again. What a number of cucumber frames there must be. I wonder what they'll do next. I wish they could pull me out of the window. I'm sure I don't wanna stay here any longer.
[00:19:11] Unknown:
Alright, Bill. You ought to go down the chimney.
[00:19:14] Unknown:
Oh, so Bill's coming down the chimney, is he? Well, I think I can pull my foot down a little. There he is. Now I'll kick.
[00:19:28] Unknown:
Here goes Bill. Catch him.
[00:19:31] Unknown:
Oh, we have to burn the house down. You do and I'll set dino on you. That scared them. I wonder what next. If they had any sense, they take the roof off.
[00:19:43] Unknown:
Alright. Now a powerful will do. Throw them through the window. One, two, three.
[00:19:53] Unknown:
Oh, now they're throwing pebbles at me. You stop or I'll get Dinah. Well, that's odd. The pebbles are turning into cakes. If I eat one, it's sure to make some change in my size and it can't possibly make me larger. Well, which way? Oh, I'm getting little again. At least I can get my arm out of the window. I was getting tired with my foot up the chimney. I'm three inches high again. If I can find the little door, I'll be able to get into that lovely garden. The best thing would be to find someone who knows the way. There doesn't seem to be anything here but a mushroom, and I can't even see over it.
Maybe if I stand on tiptoe, I'll find something on the top. There.
[00:20:57] Unknown:
It isn't polite to stare.
[00:21:00] Unknown:
Oh, a caterpillar smoking a water pipe.
[00:21:04] Unknown:
Who are you?
[00:21:06] Unknown:
I I hardly know, sir, at present. Being so many different sizes is very confusing.
[00:21:13] Unknown:
Not a bit.
[00:21:15] Unknown:
Well, it feels square to me. You?
[00:21:19] Unknown:
Who are you?
[00:21:20] Unknown:
Oh, dear. That's where we started. You see, I can't remember things. Can't remember
[00:21:27] Unknown:
what thing? Poetry mostly.
[00:21:30] Unknown:
I try to say it, but but it all comes out wrong.
[00:21:33] Unknown:
Repeat. You are ruled, father William.
[00:21:38] Unknown:
I'll try. You are old, father William, the young man said, and your hair has become very white. And yet you incessantly stand on your head. Do you think at your age it is right? And my you father William replied to his son, I feared it might injure my brain. But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none, why do it again and again? You are old, said the youth. One would hardly suppose that your eye was as steady as ever. Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose. What made you so awfully clever? I have answered your questions, and that is enough, said his father. Don't give yourself airs. Do you think I can listen all day to that stuff? Be awful, or I'll kick you downstairs.
[00:22:55] Unknown:
That's not right.
[00:22:57] Unknown:
Oh, not quite, I'm afraid. Some of the words have got altered. It's wrong from beginning to end.
[00:23:05] Unknown:
Well, what size do you want to be?
[00:23:09] Unknown:
I should like to be a little larger. Three inches is such a wretched height to be. It is an excellent height to be. I am just three inches high. Oh, dear. Don't go. Don't oh, I wish the creatures wouldn't be so easily offended. He's gone and left his water pipe. Well, I'm still not in the garden. I wish I could find my way. I should have to ask at that house. Oh, there's someone knocking now. I guess I'll have to wait.
[00:23:49] Unknown:
For the Duchess, an invitation from the Queen to play croquet. From the Queen, an invitation for the Duchess to play croquet.
[00:23:57] Unknown:
I, beg your pardon. Do you think the people who live here might Well, there's no use in knocking anymore
[00:24:02] Unknown:
for two reasons. First, I'm on the same side of the door as you. Second, they're making too much noise inside to hear you. Well, please then, how am I to get in?
[00:24:13] Unknown:
I shall sit here till tomorrow. Or the next day, maybe.
[00:24:22] Unknown:
How am I to get in?
[00:24:24] Unknown:
Are you to get in at all? That is the first question you know. It's really dreadful the way people argue around here. I shall sit here on and off for days and days. But what am I to do? Anything you like.
[00:24:38] Unknown:
Oh, there's no use talking to him. He's perfectly idiotic. I'll just open the door and walk in. Put a lot of pepper in the air. Pepper is good for you. I'm the duchess little girl. Who are you?
[00:24:56] Unknown:
Never mind. Time's money, I always say.
[00:24:59] Unknown:
Cook. Yes, mom. More pepper. Oh, not more pepper. The baby's sneezing and howling already, poor little thing. Nonsense.
[00:25:08] Unknown:
This baby lives on Pepper. But the only one
[00:25:13] Unknown:
who isn't sneezing is the cat. Oh, it's grinning. Could you tell me why your cat grins like that? It's a Cheshire cat.
[00:25:23] Unknown:
Pig. Me? No. The baby. It won't stay quiet.
[00:25:27] Unknown:
Oh, I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grin. In fact, I didn't know that cats could grin. They all can, and most of them do. I don't know of any that do. You don't know much, and that's a fact.
[00:25:39] Unknown:
Cook, take the soup off. Yes, ma'am.
[00:25:45] Unknown:
Oh, please. Watch what you're doing. You almost took the baby's nose off. If everybody minded their business, the world would go round a deal faster than it does. Which would not be an advantage. I learned all about it at school. You see, the Earth takes twenty four hours to turn round on its axis. Talking of axes, chop off my head. It takes twenty four hours, I think. Or is it
[00:26:08] Unknown:
twelve? I Oh, now don't bother me. I never could abide figures. Speak roughly to your little boy and fidget when he sneezes. And he does it to annoy because he knows it. He only does it to annoy because he knows it Jesus. I speak severely to my boy. I beat him when he sneezes for he can thoroughly enjoy the pepper when he pleases. Here, you may hold the baby a bit if you like. Well, don't throw it.
[00:27:15] Unknown:
Oh, there now, baby. It's alright.
[00:27:19] Unknown:
I must go and get ready to play croquet with the queen. Cook. Mind the soup kettle. Yes, ma'am.
[00:27:28] Unknown:
Oh my god. You'll hit the baby. If I don't take this child, they're sure to kill it in a day or two. Come on, baby. Let's get out of here before they kill us both. There now, baby. Wouldn't it be murder to leave you behind in there? Don't grunt. That's not at all a proper way of expressing yourself. You know, baby, that turned up nose of yours looks much more like a snot than a real nose. Your eyes are extremely small for a baby. Well, if you're going to turn into a pig, my dear, I'll have nothing more to do with you. Well, there's no mistaking it now. You are turning into a pig. Here, I'll set you down.
Well, it would have made a dreadfully ugly child, but it makes a rather handsome pig, I think. Now I wonder which way I ought to go from here.
[00:28:51] Unknown:
Hello? Who
[00:28:53] Unknown:
what?
[00:28:55] Unknown:
Who said that? They are up in a tree and it'll be out.
[00:28:59] Unknown:
Oh, it's the Cheshire cat from the Duchesses. Cheshire Puss. Yeah.
[00:29:04] Unknown:
Would you tell me, please? What sort of people live around here? Over that way lives a matter, and then the other way lives a march here. Visit either you like. They're both mad. Oh, but I don't wanna go among mad people. Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad, and you're mad. How do you know I'm mad? Well, you must be or you wouldn't have come here. Oh, well, that doesn't prove anything.
[00:29:27] Unknown:
How How do know how do you know that you're mad? When you begin with the dog's not mad, you granddad.
[00:29:33] Unknown:
I suppose so. Well, then you see a dog growls when it's angry and wags his tail when his face Yes. Now I growl when I pee and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore, I'm in.
[00:29:46] Unknown:
Oh, I call it purring, not growling.
[00:29:49] Unknown:
Call it what you like. Purring and growling. It's the same. Do you play croquet with the queen today? Oh, I should like to, but I haven't been invited yet. You'll see me there. Round goodbye.
[00:30:02] Unknown:
Well, he's vanished. He certainly goes quickly. I suppose it's because he's a Cheshire cat.
[00:30:10] Unknown:
Oh, by the way, I forgot to ask. What's the name of the baby?
[00:30:14] Unknown:
Oh, it's you again. It turned into a pig. Yep. I got it, Lynn. Well, I'll come by again. Vanished again. Well, now, which way shall I go? The hatter or the March Hare? Oh, I've seen hatters before, so the March Hare will be much more interesting. And perhaps as this is May, he won't be raving mad, At least, not so mad as if it were March.
[00:30:41] Unknown:
Did you say pig?
[00:30:43] Unknown:
Pig. I said pig, and I wish you wouldn't keep appearing and vanishing so suddenly. You make one quite giddy.
[00:30:51] Unknown:
Alright. Okay. Just now.
[00:31:00] Unknown:
Now there's nothing left but the grin. Well, I've often seen a cat without a grin, but a grin without a cat. It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life. The March Hare it is then, and that must be his house. The chimney's like ears and the roof's thatched with fur. It's nearly tea time. I wonder if I can get any of the March Hare's. Well, raving mad or not, here I go. Although I I almost wish I'd gone to see the Mad Hatter instead.
[00:31:57] Unknown:
You're listening to Dinah Shore as Alice in Wonderland, a special presentation for the holiday season by the NBC University Theater. Our adaptation of the Lewis Carroll classic continues after a brief pause for station identification. We're off now on a picnic on the Thames Bank at Oxford with the Reverend Charles Dodgson and his three young guests. Finish the story, says the middle one. What happened to Alice in Wonderland next? Now, let's see, says the clergyman. There was a table set out under a tree in front of the March Hare's house. The March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it. Dormoz was sitting between them fast asleep, and the two were resting their elbows on him. Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse, thought Atlas.
[00:33:26] Unknown:
Only it's asleep, so I suppose it doesn't mind. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No
[00:33:48] Unknown:
There's nothing but tea. I don't see any wine. Oh, there isn't any. And it wasn't very civil of you to offer it. Well, it wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being asked. Well, the table's set for more than three. I I didn't think you'd mind. Your hair wants cutting. And you should learn not to make personal remarks, mister Hatter. It's very rude.
[00:34:09] Unknown:
Why is a raven like a writing desk? Oh, riddles. Now we'll have some fun. I think I can guess that. You mean you think you can find the answer to it? Exactly so. Then you should say what you mean. I do.
[00:34:21] Unknown:
At least, I mean what I say. That's the same thing, you know. Not a bit. Not a bit. Why, you might just as well say that, I see what I eat is the same as I eat what I see. Yes. You might just as well say that I like what I get is the same as I get what I like. You might just as well say that I breathe when I sleep is the same as I sleep when I breathe. It is the same for you, Dormouse. Let's see now. The riddle. Raven and the writing desk. What day of the month is it? The fourth, I think. There. I thought so. Look at my watch. Two days wrong.
I told you butter wouldn't suit the works. Well, it was the best butter, Hatter. No. Some crumbs must have gotten in as well. You shouldn't have put it in with the bread knife.
[00:35:10] Unknown:
Try dipping it in the tea.
[00:35:13] Unknown:
It was the very best butter. Oh, the Dormouse is sleeping and pour some tea in his nose.
[00:35:20] Unknown:
Of course.
[00:35:21] Unknown:
Of course.
[00:35:23] Unknown:
Just what I was going to remark myself.
[00:35:28] Unknown:
Well, have you guessed the riddle yet? No. I give it up. Why is a raven like a writing disk? I haven't the slightest idea. Yet, nor I. I think you might do something better with the time than waste it in asking riddles that have no answers.
[00:35:42] Unknown:
Oh, if you knew time as well as I do, you wouldn't talk about wasting it. It's him. I don't know what you mean. Of course, you don't. I dare say you've never even spoken spoken a word a time. No. But I have to beat time when I learn music. That accounts for it. He won't stand beating. Now if you kept on good terms with time, he'd do most anything for you. For example, if it's 09:00, time for lessons, or whisper the time. And it's half past one, time for dinner. Oh, I wish it was. Oh, is that the way you manage? Oh, dear. No. We quarreled last March, time and I, just before the hair went mad, you know. It was at the great concert given by the Queen of Hearts. I had to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Bat. You know the song? Well, I've I've heard something like it. It goes on, you know.
[00:36:36] Unknown:
Twinkle, twinkle little bat. Oh, I wonder what you're at. Up above the world you'll fly like a pete ray in the sky.
[00:36:57] Unknown:
I mean, definitely. Twenty twenty. No. Twenty twenty. There,
[00:37:02] Unknown:
he stopped.
[00:37:03] Unknown:
Well, I'd hardly finish the first verse when the queen bowled out. He's murdering the time of a desert. How dreadful a savage. And ever since that, time won't do a thing I ask. It's always 06:00
[00:37:15] Unknown:
now. Is that the reason so many tea things are put out here?
[00:37:18] Unknown:
That's it. It's always tea time, and we've no time to wash the things between wilds. Then you keep moving
[00:37:26] Unknown:
around the table, I suppose? Exactly so, as the things get used up. But what happens when you come to the beginning again?
[00:37:35] Unknown:
Let's change the subject, Hatter. I vote the young lady tells us a story. Oh,
[00:37:40] Unknown:
I'm afraid I don't know one. Well, then the dormouse shall.
[00:37:44] Unknown:
Wake up, dormouse.
[00:37:45] Unknown:
Dormouse? Wake up? Come on,
[00:37:49] Unknown:
I wasn't asleep. I heard every word you fellas were saying. Tell us a story. Oh, yes. Please do. And be quick about it or you'll be asleep again. Once upon a time, there were three little sisters and their names were Elsie, Lacey, and Tilly. And And they lived at the bottom of the well.
[00:38:05] Unknown:
What did they live on? Tree echo. Oh, they couldn't have. They'd have been ill. So they were very ill. But why did they live at the bottom of the well? It was a tree echo well. But there can't be a
[00:38:17] Unknown:
If you you can't be civil. You better finish the story yourself. Oh, no. No. Please go on. I I won't interrupt you again. Well, these three little sisters were learning to
[00:38:30] Unknown:
draw. What did they draw? Triacle?
[00:38:34] Unknown:
I want a clean cup. Let's all move one place on.
[00:38:39] Unknown:
Oh, but the March hare spilled the milk jug in his plate, and I've got to move to his place.
[00:38:45] Unknown:
Go, go about your story now, Dormouse. Well, yes. Where did they draw the treacle from? You can draw water out of a water well, so I should think you could draw a treacle out of a treacle well. Stupid?
[00:38:55] Unknown:
But they were in the well. Of course, they were.
[00:38:59] Unknown:
Well in. They were learning to draw, and they drew all manner of things. Everything that begins with an m. Why with an m? Well, why not?
[00:39:10] Unknown:
Oh, now the doormouse is asleep again. Come, come, come, come. Come on now. Up again. It
[00:39:16] Unknown:
begins with an m such as mouse traps and the moon and memory and muchness. Muchness? Muchness. You know, you say things are much of a muchness. Did you ever see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?
[00:39:34] Unknown:
Well, really, now that you ask me, I don't think I Then you shouldn't talk. Well, that's too much. That's the rudest.
[00:39:42] Unknown:
Well, I certainly shan't stay. Goodbye. Oh, the door mouse is asleep again. Wake him up again. Pinch him. Put him in the teapot. Come on. Come on. Wake up. Now. Wake up. Now. Wake up. Wake up.
[00:39:53] Unknown:
Well, I shall never go there again. It's the stupidest tea party I was ever at in all my life. This is very curious. There's a door in the tree trunk, but everything's curious today. I think I may as well go in at once. Oh, it's the glass hall again, and the door to the lovely garden is open, and I can get through. Well, here I go at last. Oh, what lovely white roses, but that's odd. Those gardeners are painting them red.
[00:40:41] Unknown:
Well, they're really playing cards. Look out now, Five. Don't go splashing paint over me.
[00:40:46] Unknown:
Yeah. Jungle my arm too. Well, of all the unjust actresses I I beg your pardon, but could you tell me why you're painting those roses?
[00:40:56] Unknown:
Well, miss, you see, this ought to have been a red rose tree. We put a white one in by mistake. And if the queen was to find it out, we should both have our heads cut off. So you see, miss, we're doing our best.
[00:41:11] Unknown:
Oh, my. The queen. The queen.
[00:41:17] Unknown:
The king and queen of hearts.
[00:41:20] Unknown:
Well, who is this? What's your name, child? My name's Alice, so please your majesty. And who are these creatures on the ground? How should I know it's no business of mine? What? Off with our head. Off with our head. Nonsense. What? Nonsense. Oh. Consider my dear. She's only a child. No matter. Well, you two on the ground, what have you been doing? Never mind. Off with the heads.
[00:41:42] Unknown:
Can you play croquet, child? Yes, your majesty. Come along then, your majesty.
[00:41:48] Unknown:
Mhmm. Oh oh oh, yeah. Yeah. Yes. Of course. Onto the croquet ground.
[00:42:00] Unknown:
Hello. Oh, it's the white rabbit. It's a very fine day. Very. Where's the duchess?
[00:42:07] Unknown:
She's under sentence of execution. But for? Did you say what a pity?
[00:42:12] Unknown:
No. I didn't. I don't think it's at all a pity. I said what for? She boxed the queen's ears.
[00:42:20] Unknown:
Oh, oh, shh. The queen will hear you. Get to your places. Let the croquet game begin. Off with his head. Off with his head. Goodness.
[00:42:33] Unknown:
What an odd croquet match. Hedgehogs for balls and flamingos for mallets, and what a den.
[00:42:40] Unknown:
Mom.
[00:42:45] Unknown:
Hello. Oh, it's the Cheshire cat. Now she'll have somebody to talk to. How are you feeling on? Oh, I don't think they play at all fairly. They all quarrel so, and and there doesn't seem to be any ruse. How do you like the queen? Oh, not at all. She's so extremely hello, your majesty? Who are you talking to? A a friend of mine, your majesty, a Cheshire cat. Allow me to introduce it. Cat, this is the king and queen of hearts.
[00:43:15] Unknown:
I don't like the look of it all. However, it may kiss my hand if it likes.
[00:43:23] Unknown:
I hear you not.
[00:43:24] Unknown:
Don't be impertinent. Don't look at me like that. A cat may look at a king. I I read that in some book, but I I don't remember where. Well, the cat must be removed. Off with his head. Oh, yeah. Yes. Of course. But consider my dear, the cat is vanished up to the neck. We can't cut off a head without a body to cut it off from. Ridiculous.
[00:43:45] Unknown:
Anything that has a head can be beheaded. No more nonsense. And if something isn't done soon, I'll have everybody executed all around. Well, the cat belongs to the duchess. You might ask her. She's in prison. Catch her here. Immediately, your majesty.
[00:43:59] Unknown:
Well, I can't stay here all day now.
[00:44:02] Unknown:
You can't leave. You're to be executed. Oh, I'm sorry. Stop him. Stop him. Where is he going? Off with his head.
[00:44:23] Unknown:
Oh, you can't think how glad I am to see you, dear. Oh, it's the duchess.
[00:44:28] Unknown:
I thought you were in prison. I was. I got away when they went after the cat. You know, you were so savage when I met you in the kitchen before. I wonder if it's always pepper that makes people hot tempered and vinegar that makes them sour.
[00:44:42] Unknown:
You're thinking about something, dear, and that makes you forget to talk properly. I can't tell you what the moral of that is, but I shall remember it after a while. Is there always a moral? Of course. I I dare say you're wondering why I don't put my arm around your waist. The reason
[00:44:58] Unknown:
is, I'm afraid. Oh, well, I don't bite. You know? Oh, very true.
[00:45:03] Unknown:
Dogs and mustard both bite, and the moral of that is birds of a feather flock together. Only mustard isn't an animal. Right as usual. Oh, what a clear way you have a pudding thing.
[00:45:16] Unknown:
It's a mineral, I think.
[00:45:18] Unknown:
Of course it is. There's a large mustard mine near here, and the moral of that is the more there is of mine, the less there is of yours. Oh, I know. It's a vegetable. I quite agree with you. And the moral of that is be what you would seem to be. And that's nothing to what I could say if I chose. Oh, pray don't trouble yourself. Oh, it's no trouble at all. No. No. How do you do, your majesty? What are you doing here?
[00:45:49] Unknown:
Fine day, your majesty. I give you fair warning, duchess.
[00:45:53] Unknown:
Either you or your head must be off, and that end about half no time. Take your choice. Oh, well. Of course. Goodbye. There now. Have you seen the mock turtle yet? No. I I don't even know what a mock turtle is. It's the thing mock turtle soup is made from. I've never seen one. Come along then, and he shall tell you his history.
[00:46:28] Unknown:
Alice, this is a griffin. How do you do? Up up, lazy thing. You ought to take this young lady to see the mock turtle. Oh, very well. Good. I must go back and see after some executions I've ordered.
[00:46:49] Unknown:
What fun. What? Why the queen? It's all her fancy that they never executes nobody, you know. Come on. Oh, dear. I was never so ordered about in my life. Hi there, Mark Turtle. Oh, this here, young lady, she wants for to know your history. She do?
[00:47:14] Unknown:
Oh, very well. Once, I was a real turtle.
[00:47:23] Unknown:
Well?
[00:47:24] Unknown:
When we were little, we went to school in the sea. The master was an old turtle. We used to call him Tortoise.
[00:47:33] Unknown:
Why did you call him Tortoise if he was a turtle? We called him Tortoise because he taught us.
[00:47:39] Unknown:
Oh, really? You're very dumb. Now
[00:47:43] Unknown:
hold your tongue. We had the best of education.
[00:47:46] Unknown:
In fact, we went to school every day. I've been to day school too. With extras? Oh, yes. We had French and music. And washing?
[00:47:56] Unknown:
Certainly not. Then it wasn't really a good school. At our school, they had it at the end of the bill, French, music, and washing extra. But I only took the regular course. What was that? Reeling and writhing, of course, to begin with, and then the different branches of arithmetic, ambition, distraction, uglification,
[00:48:20] Unknown:
and derision. What else had you to learn? Well, there was mystery,
[00:48:25] Unknown:
ancient and modern, and drawling. Drawling? The drawling master was an old conga eel. He taught us drawling, stretching, and painting in coils. What was that like? I can't show you myself. I am too stiff, and the griffin never learned. Oh, ahead in time.
[00:48:42] Unknown:
And and how many hours a day did you do lessons? Ten hours the first day,
[00:48:46] Unknown:
nine the next, and so on. What a curious plan. That's the reason they're called lessons.
[00:48:52] Unknown:
They lesson from day to day. Oh, then the eleventh day must have been a holiday. Oh, that's enough about lessons. Tell us something about games.
[00:49:04] Unknown:
Oh, very, very. Perhaps you've never been introduced to a lobster.
[00:49:09] Unknown:
Well, I once tasted I mean,
[00:49:13] Unknown:
no. Then you have no idea what a delightful thing a lobster quadrille is. What sort of dance is it? Why, you, first form a line along the sea shore. A two lines, seals, turtles, salmons, and so on. Then when you've cleared all the jellyfish out of the way, you advance twice. Each with a lobster as a part. Advance twice, set to party. Change lobsters and retire in Saint Morden. Then, you know, you throw the Lobsters. As far out to sea as you can. Swim after the Turn a somersault in the sea Change lobsters. And back to land. And that's all the first figure. Oh, it must be a very pretty dance. Come, let's try the first figure. We'll both sing. Very well then.
[00:50:32] Unknown:
Oh, I do so like that curious song about the whiting. Do you know why it's called a whiting? Why? It does the boots and shoes. Shoes? Certainly. What are your shoes done with? Blocking. Well,
[00:50:46] Unknown:
boots and shoes under the sea are done with whiting. Well, what are the boots made of? Soles and eels, of course. Well, if I'd been the whiting, I'd have told the porpoise to stand back.
[00:50:58] Unknown:
Oh, no. They were obliged to have him with them. No wise fish would go anywhere without one. No. Of course not. Why if a fish came to me and said he was going on a journey, I'd asked with what porpoise?
[00:51:10] Unknown:
Don't you mean purpose? He means what he says. Well, now, shall I dance somewhere, or shall the mock turtle sing you a song? Oh, a song, please, if the mock turtle would be so kind. Well, there's no accounting for taste. Sing her turtle
[00:51:29] Unknown:
soup, old man.
[00:51:36] Unknown:
Beautiful soup, so
[00:52:30] Unknown:
The trial's beginning. Come on. What trial? Never mind. Come on.
[00:52:57] Unknown:
Beautiful soup
[00:53:02] Unknown:
Silence. The court is now in session. Their majesties, the king and queen of hearts, presiding.
[00:53:09] Unknown:
The king's wearing his crown over a judge's wig.
[00:53:13] Unknown:
So I went in court.
[00:53:14] Unknown:
Harold, read the accusation.
[00:53:19] Unknown:
The queen of hearts, she made some tots all on a summer's day. The knave of hearts, he stole those tots and took them quite away.
[00:53:30] Unknown:
Consider your verdict. Not yet, simpleton.
[00:53:33] Unknown:
Harold, call the first witness. The oh oh, yeah. Yes. The first witness.
[00:53:40] Unknown:
First witness,
[00:53:41] Unknown:
the Mad Hatter. I'll be here. Here. Coming. Coming. Coming. I I I beg your pardon, your majesty. I hadn't quite finished my tea. When did you begin? March 14, I think. Or or fifteenth
[00:53:55] Unknown:
or maybe sixteenth. Write that down.
[00:53:58] Unknown:
Well It adds up to £9.07
[00:54:01] Unknown:
and 6, your majesty. Good. And you, witness, take off your hat. Give your evidence, or I'll have you executed on the spot. Quit shoving, little girl. I can't help it. I'm beginning to grow again. Well, you shouldn't grow in here. It's too crowded.
[00:54:15] Unknown:
Give your evidence, Hatter.
[00:54:17] Unknown:
I'm a poor man, your majesty. And what with the bread and butter getting so thin and the twinkling of the tea? The twinkling of what?
[00:54:25] Unknown:
It began with the t. Of course, twinkling begins with t.
[00:54:29] Unknown:
Go on. I'm a poor man, your majesty, and most things twinkled after that. And the march here says I did not. You did. I denied it. You denies it. Leave out that part. It was tea time, your majesty, and the doormouse said the doormouse said He can't deny it. He's asleep. I'm a poor man, Your majesty Very poor. Speaker. Here. Here. You may go. And take off his head outside. Next witness, the duchess is cooked. Give your evidence. Shand.
[00:54:58] Unknown:
Oh, I I suppose I I've got to cross examine you. What are tarts made of? Pepper mostly. Crier, fool. Call on that dormouse. Turn that dormouse out of court. Pinch him up with his whiskers. Never mind. Call the next witness. Next witness.
[00:55:16] Unknown:
Hours. Here?
[00:55:18] Unknown:
Careful there. If you don't stop growing, you will upset the jewelry box. Oh, I I'm so sorry. Now then, what do you know about this business? Nothing whatever.
[00:55:29] Unknown:
Yeah.
[00:55:31] Unknown:
Science.
[00:55:32] Unknown:
Rule 42.
[00:55:34] Unknown:
All persons more than a mile high to lead the court. Oh, I'm just growing again. I can't help it. And besides, I'm not a mile high. You are. Nearly two miles high. Well, I shan't go. And besides, that's not a regular rule. You invented it just now. It's the oldest rule in the book. Then it ought to be the number one.
[00:55:54] Unknown:
Consider your verdict. No. No. No. No. Sentence first. Verdict afterwards. Stuff and nonsense. The idea of having the sentence first. Hold your tongue. I won't. Off with her head. Off with her head. Off with her head. Off with her head. Off with her head. Off with her head. Off with her head. Off with her head. Off with her head.
[00:56:09] Unknown:
Who cares for any of you? You're nothing but a little pack of cards.
[00:56:28] Unknown:
Alice? Alice? Alice?
[00:56:33] Unknown:
Nothing but a pack of cards. Wake up, Alice dear. It's nearly tea time. Oh, Emily, I've had such a curious dream, or was it a dream? Listen, Emily. I can still hear it. Listen. It's the mock turtle singing. Oh,
[00:56:57] Unknown:
listen. The evening.
[00:57:08] Unknown:
It's only the cows. We're driving them home now. You have been dreaming, Alice. I suppose so. It was so curious. Well, come on, Emily. We'll be late for tea.
[00:57:40] Unknown:
And that's the story the reverend mister Dodgson told his little guests on the banks of the Thames. The good doctor wrote out his little story for the real Alice as a Christmas gift and signed it with a pseudonym. And all that's left today of the reverend mathematician of Oxford are the stories Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll. The curtain of the NBC University Theatre falls on our special holiday presentation of Lewis Carroll's beloved story, Alice in Wonderland. Ernest Kennoy adapted it for radio, and our star in the role of Alice was miss Dinah Shore. Our cast included Arthur q Brian, Earl Keen, Maya Gregory, Dick Ryan, Margaret Brayton, Parley Bear, Jack Krushen, Don Messick, Noreen Gamil, Ralph Moody, Hugh Thomas, Charles Seal.
Your announcer, Don Stanley. Original music for Alice in Wonderland was composed and conducted by Henry Russell. The production was directed by Andrew c Love. Next week, the NBC University Theatre will take a one week holiday. And in its place over most of these stations, the news and special events department of the National Broadcasting Company will bring you an unusual special program recreating the 10 big broadcast stories of 1948. We sincerely hope that you will be listening. Week after next at the usual time, the university theater resumes its regular series dramatizing the outstanding works of modern British and American authors.
During the month of January, you will hear a distinguished quartet of modern works, beginning with John Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath and continuing with the Graham Greene novel Brighton Rock, Robert Penn Warren's Pulitzer Prize winner All the King's Men, and the Catherine Ann Porter story, Noon Wine. Be with us then two weeks from today when the NBC University Theatre brings you John Steinbeck's great novel, The Grapes of Wrath, starring Jane Darwell in her academy award winning role, Ma Joad.
[01:00:38] Unknown:
This program came to you from Hollywood. It's a wonderful Sunday on this station. Yes. Two and one half hours of fun when you keep tuned right where you are. And remember, next week, Horace Hite moves into the number one spot while Fred Allen drives up to your home a half hour earlier. Hear them tonight and every Sunday over most of these stations. This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company.
[01:01:10] Unknown:
Hello. It is Ryan, and I was on a flight the other day playing one of my favorite social spin slot games on ChumbaCasino.com. I looked over the person sitting next to me, and you know what they were doing? They were also playing Chumba Casino. Coincidence? I think not. Everybody's loving having fun with it. Chumba Casino is home to hundreds of casino style games that you can play for free anytime, anywhere, where even at 30,000 feet. So sign up now at chumbacasino.com to claim your free welcome bonus at chumbacasino.com
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and live the chumba life. No purchase necessary. VWO, void, where prohibited by law, see terms and conditions, 18
Hello. It is Ryan, and I was on a flight the other day playing one of my favorite social spin slot games on chumbacasino.com. I looked over the person sitting next to me, and you know what they were doing? They were also playing Chumba casino. Coincidence? I think not. Everybody's loving having fun with it. Chumba Casino is home to hundreds of casino style games that you can play for free anytime, anywhere even at 30,000 feet. So sign up now at ChumbaCasino.com to claim your free welcome bonus at Chumba Casino dot com and live the Chumba life. No purchase necessary. VW, avoid prohibited by law. See terms and conditions.
[00:00:37] Unknown:
Plus.
[00:00:55] Unknown:
This is the NBC University Theatre, bringing you a seasonal play in the holiday spirit, a story beloved by the young and hard of every generation. We present the Lewis Carroll classic, Alice in Wonderland, starring Dinah Shore as Alice. Once upon a time in England, while Victoria was queen, there lived a dignified gentleman named the Reverend Charles Dodgson, MA, who who taught mathematics at Oxford and wrote books with titles like The Condensation of Determinants. The reverend Dodgson had another name, which probably almost everybody has heard at least once, and this is how the respectable Oxford Clergyman came to lead a double life.
In the year 1862, near to the university, they lived three little girls, daughters of the dean of Christ's church. And in the summer, the good reverend Dodgson used to take these little girls on picnics along the Thames River. After the hard boiled eggs were all eaten and the lemonade was all gone, the girls would leave off picking flowers and chasing butterflies and gather around their host. And the middle one, whose name was Alice, would say firmly, tell us a story. This is the wonderful tale that the Oxford Don told his little friends. He published it afterwards and called it Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and signed it Lewis Carroll.
It started this way. Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank and of having nothing to do.
[00:03:02] Unknown:
Emily? Emily? Emily? Alice, please. I'm reading. Oh, alright. Are you reading one of father's books? Mhmm. Because they don't have any pictures or conversations in them. I don't see how you can Alice did. Why don't you make a daisy, Jane? There are lots of beauties on the bank. It's too hot and stupid this afternoon. Tell me a story, Emily. Later. But there's nothing to do now. Well, it's such a sleepy afternoon. Everything's sleepy. The river's sleepy. The birds are sleeping. The grass is sleeping. The clouds are Well, fancy. A white rabbit with pink eyes.
Well, anyhow, he seems to be in a hurry. Oh, the poor dear can't get his watch out of his waistcoat pocket. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. I shall be too late. The duchess will be furious. I shall be so late. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. What a funny little rabbit and such a beautiful purple waistcoat. Westcoat? That's odd. I've never seen a rabbit with one before. I should be so horribly. Wait. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, there he goes down a rabbit hole. Wait for me, rabbit. It seems big enough to go down. I think I'll lean over and see.
[00:04:42] Unknown:
Oh. Oh.
[00:04:55] Unknown:
Oops. I wonder where I'm falling to. It must be a dreadful distance down. After this, I shall think nothing of falling downstairs. How brave they'll think me at home. I wonder if I shall fall right through the earth. How funny it'll seem to come out among the people that walk with their heads downwards. I had it in geography, the Antipodes, I think. No. That doesn't sound right. But I shall have to ask them the name of the country. Please, ma'am. Is this New Zealand? Fancy asking that. What a dreadful long time I've been falling. Dinah, old miss midnight.
She's such an intelligent cat. I hope they remember her milk. Dinah, dear, I wish you were here with me. There aren't any mice in the air, but then you might catch a bat, and that's very like a mouse. But do cats eat bats, I wonder? Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats? Do bats eat cats? Do bats eat cats? Do cats eat cats?
[00:06:23] Unknown:
Oh,
[00:06:24] Unknown:
well, I'm down, and I seem to be in one piece. And there goes the white rabbit.
[00:06:32] Unknown:
Oh, my ears and whiskers, how weight it's getting. The duchess will be furious. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, he's gone.
[00:06:40] Unknown:
I don't know how he did it. There doesn't seem to be any way out of here. Let's see now. He went down this side. Oh, he has a door, but it's locked, and it's so tiny I shall never fit through. There must be a key somewhere. Oh, here it is on this glass table. Let's see now. Oh, what a lovely garden. If only I could get through the door. Oh, I wish I could shut up like a telescope. I think I could if I only knew the way to begin. Well, I might as well shut the door. It's no use. I suppose I should put the key back where I found it. Now that's odd.
This bottle wasn't here before. Drink me. Drink you? Well, that's all very well, but maybe you're poison. No. It isn't marked. Alright then. It's all kinds of flavors. It's good. What a curious feeling. I must be shutting up like a telescope. I do hope it stops. I might go out altogether like a candle. Goodness. I'm glad it stopped. I should hate to be like a candle flame after you've blown it out, but I'm small enough now to get through the door into the garden. I'll be able to see oh, I've left the key on top of the table, and I can't possibly reach it.
Oh, I shall never get up. Oh, come now. There's no use crying. Alice, I advise you to leave off this minute. But there's no use to pretend to be two people now and give myself advice. There's hardly enough left for me to make one respectable person. Oh, dear. I did wanna get into the garden. Eat me. What? Oh, there's a cake under the table. I didn't see it before. Eat me. Alright. I might as well. If it makes me larger, I can reach the key. And if the other way, I can creep under the door. It's good. Now which way? Which way?
Curiouser and curiouser. I'm growing again. Oh, I'm growing too much. I'm opening out like the largest telescope there ever was. There go my feet. Goodbye, feet. Oh, my head. Well, at least I've stopped growing. I must be nine feet tall, but I still can't get into the garden. Oh, dear. How, Bexy. You wanna be ashamed. A great big girl had you crying. Stop it.
[00:10:07] Unknown:
Oh, there's the rabbit again. Oh, the Duchess. The Duchess. Won't you be savage if I've kept her waiting? Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Excuse me, mister Radcliffe. I wouldn't Good heavens. A giant. This is too much.
[00:10:19] Unknown:
Oh, I wish he wouldn't run away so. He's dropped his fan in gloves. Everything's so clear today. I feel so different. But if I'm not the same, who in the world am I? I'm sure I'm not Ada. Her hair goes in ringlets and mine pheasant. Besides, she's she and I'm I I'll see if I know the things I used to know. I'll try and say how ducked the little how doth the little crocodile improve its shining tail and pour the waters of the Nile on every golden scale. How cheerfully he seems to grin, how neatly spreads his claws, and welcomes little fishes in with gently smiling jaws.
Oh oh, I'm sure those aren't the right words. I'm not me at all. I put my hand in the rabbit's glove. I've grown small again, and I can go through the door into the garden. No. I've left the key on top of the table. Now things are worse than they were. I declare it's too bad. It's certainly it oh. Oh, I'm slipping. Salt water. Now how did that get oh, it must be the tears I wept when I was nine feet high. I wish I hadn't cried so much. I shall be drowned in my own tears. Oh, look. It's a mouse. Mister mouse, do you know the way out of this pool? I'm I'm awfully tired of swimming. Oh, perhaps it doesn't understand English.
I I dare say it's a French mouse that came over with William the Conqueror. Let's see now. What French do I know? Well, I never. Oh, I beg your pardon. I quite forgot you don't like cats, mister Miles. Cats are little vulgar things. Are you, are you fond of dogs? There's such a nice little dog near our house. A little brownish terrier. It'll fetch things when you throw them and play dead and sit up in bed, and you should see a killing rat.
[00:12:49] Unknown:
Young lady, let's get out of this pool, and I'll tell you why I hate cats and dogs. And besides, it's getting crowded in here.
[00:13:12] Unknown:
What
[00:13:13] Unknown:
a queer lot of creatures there were in the pool. They aren't queer. You are. You have no fur or feathers.
[00:13:21] Unknown:
Why? I don't even know who you are. I'm a lorry. A what?
[00:13:26] Unknown:
A lorry. Yes. And that's a dodo. There's an eaglet and a duck. They're not queer. You are. I'm older than you and must know better. How old are you then? Won't tell.
[00:13:38] Unknown:
But then how can you know if you're older? Hold your tongue. The mouse is going to speak. Sit down, all of you. The first thing is for all of us to get dry. Everybody sit down in a ring. There. That's right. Now, this is the driest thing I know.
[00:13:54] Unknown:
William the conqueror, whose cause was favored by the pope, but soon submitted to by the English. Edwin and Marker, the earls of Northumbria, declared for him, and even the archbishop of Canterbury found it advisable. Found what? Found it. You know what it means. I know what it is when I find a thing. It's generally a worm. But what did the archbishop find? Besides, I'm still wet as ever. What we need to get dry is a caucus race. A caucus race? That's right. Everybody spread out in a circle and then up and away.
[00:14:36] Unknown:
Alright. The race is over. But who has won? Everybody has won, and Alice is to give the prize as me.
[00:14:47] Unknown:
I don't know what. Oh, wait. I have some chocolates in my apron pocket. Here.
[00:14:55] Unknown:
But she must have a prize herself. Of course.
[00:14:59] Unknown:
What else have you in your pocket? Only a thimble. Well, hand it over. We beg your acceptance of this elegant thimble as your prize. Why, thank you, sir.
[00:15:11] Unknown:
Yay.
[00:15:13] Unknown:
She got the best prize.
[00:15:16] Unknown:
Well, I never You certainly didn't That's rude. I wish I had Dinah here. She's polite. And who might I venture to ask is Dinah? Dinah's our cat, and she's such a capital one for catching mice. And, oh, I wish you could see her after the birds. Well, she'll eat a little bird as soon as look at it. Oh, dear. They're all gone. I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah. Nobody seems to like cats here. Dear Dinah, I wonder if I shall ever see you anymore.
[00:15:56] Unknown:
The Duchess. The Duchess. Oh, my dear. Pause my fur and whiskers. She'll get me executed as sure as fowards are fowards. Oh, now here's the white rabbit back. I must remember not to mention Donna and frighten him off. Why, Mary Anne, what are you doing here? Oh, I'm not Mary Anne. I'm Alice. Nonsense. You must be Mary Anne. One homeless minute fetched me a pair of gloves and a fan. Quick now. I must be off. Remember, pair of gloves and a fan. He took me for his housemaid, but I better get his gloves or he'll be furious.
[00:16:29] Unknown:
I shall have to hurry before the real Mary Anne catches me. Fancy running errands for a white rabbit. I suppose Don will be sending me me on messages next or have me watching mouse holes. Now the gloves must be in here somewhere. Oh, there they are on the chest and the fan. Drink me. Oh, another of those bottles. Drink me. Well, I might as well. I know something interesting is sure to happen. I hope it'll make me grow large again. I'm tired of being such a tiny thing. Oops. Here I go. I think maybe I'm growing too fast. I hope it stops soon.
We shan't be able to get out the door. I better kneel so I fit. Maybe if I put one arm out the window, there, now I can get my foot up the chimney. Now, what will become of me? There. Thank goodness I've stopped growing. Oh, it was much pleasanter at home when one wasn't always growing larger and smaller and being ordered about by rabbits. When I grow up out but I'm grown up now. At least there's no more room to grow up here.
[00:17:59] Unknown:
Mary Anne. Mary Anne. Let me in at once. That's my glow.
[00:18:04] Unknown:
Let me in. The white rabbit won't be able to get in with me filling the room. Oh, well, then I'll go round and get in by the window. I don't know why I'm trembling. I must be at least a thousand times larger than the rabbit. There he is outside the window. I'll just grab. Heavens.
[00:18:22] Unknown:
He must have fallen into a cucumber frame. Pat. Pat. Where are you? Where is that gardener? Sure. And I'm here getting four apples, your honor. Well, come and help me out of this. Now what's that in the window? Sure. And it's an arm, your honor. Nonsense. It fills the whole window. Whoever saw an arm that big? It's an arm, nevertheless. Well, listen, Pat. Come here. I'll tell you what we'll do.
[00:18:49] Unknown:
Oh, dear. They must both be trying to get in the window. I'll just have to grab again. What a number of cucumber frames there must be. I wonder what they'll do next. I wish they could pull me out of the window. I'm sure I don't wanna stay here any longer.
[00:19:11] Unknown:
Alright, Bill. You ought to go down the chimney.
[00:19:14] Unknown:
Oh, so Bill's coming down the chimney, is he? Well, I think I can pull my foot down a little. There he is. Now I'll kick.
[00:19:28] Unknown:
Here goes Bill. Catch him.
[00:19:31] Unknown:
Oh, we have to burn the house down. You do and I'll set dino on you. That scared them. I wonder what next. If they had any sense, they take the roof off.
[00:19:43] Unknown:
Alright. Now a powerful will do. Throw them through the window. One, two, three.
[00:19:53] Unknown:
Oh, now they're throwing pebbles at me. You stop or I'll get Dinah. Well, that's odd. The pebbles are turning into cakes. If I eat one, it's sure to make some change in my size and it can't possibly make me larger. Well, which way? Oh, I'm getting little again. At least I can get my arm out of the window. I was getting tired with my foot up the chimney. I'm three inches high again. If I can find the little door, I'll be able to get into that lovely garden. The best thing would be to find someone who knows the way. There doesn't seem to be anything here but a mushroom, and I can't even see over it.
Maybe if I stand on tiptoe, I'll find something on the top. There.
[00:20:57] Unknown:
It isn't polite to stare.
[00:21:00] Unknown:
Oh, a caterpillar smoking a water pipe.
[00:21:04] Unknown:
Who are you?
[00:21:06] Unknown:
I I hardly know, sir, at present. Being so many different sizes is very confusing.
[00:21:13] Unknown:
Not a bit.
[00:21:15] Unknown:
Well, it feels square to me. You?
[00:21:19] Unknown:
Who are you?
[00:21:20] Unknown:
Oh, dear. That's where we started. You see, I can't remember things. Can't remember
[00:21:27] Unknown:
what thing? Poetry mostly.
[00:21:30] Unknown:
I try to say it, but but it all comes out wrong.
[00:21:33] Unknown:
Repeat. You are ruled, father William.
[00:21:38] Unknown:
I'll try. You are old, father William, the young man said, and your hair has become very white. And yet you incessantly stand on your head. Do you think at your age it is right? And my you father William replied to his son, I feared it might injure my brain. But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none, why do it again and again? You are old, said the youth. One would hardly suppose that your eye was as steady as ever. Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose. What made you so awfully clever? I have answered your questions, and that is enough, said his father. Don't give yourself airs. Do you think I can listen all day to that stuff? Be awful, or I'll kick you downstairs.
[00:22:55] Unknown:
That's not right.
[00:22:57] Unknown:
Oh, not quite, I'm afraid. Some of the words have got altered. It's wrong from beginning to end.
[00:23:05] Unknown:
Well, what size do you want to be?
[00:23:09] Unknown:
I should like to be a little larger. Three inches is such a wretched height to be. It is an excellent height to be. I am just three inches high. Oh, dear. Don't go. Don't oh, I wish the creatures wouldn't be so easily offended. He's gone and left his water pipe. Well, I'm still not in the garden. I wish I could find my way. I should have to ask at that house. Oh, there's someone knocking now. I guess I'll have to wait.
[00:23:49] Unknown:
For the Duchess, an invitation from the Queen to play croquet. From the Queen, an invitation for the Duchess to play croquet.
[00:23:57] Unknown:
I, beg your pardon. Do you think the people who live here might Well, there's no use in knocking anymore
[00:24:02] Unknown:
for two reasons. First, I'm on the same side of the door as you. Second, they're making too much noise inside to hear you. Well, please then, how am I to get in?
[00:24:13] Unknown:
I shall sit here till tomorrow. Or the next day, maybe.
[00:24:22] Unknown:
How am I to get in?
[00:24:24] Unknown:
Are you to get in at all? That is the first question you know. It's really dreadful the way people argue around here. I shall sit here on and off for days and days. But what am I to do? Anything you like.
[00:24:38] Unknown:
Oh, there's no use talking to him. He's perfectly idiotic. I'll just open the door and walk in. Put a lot of pepper in the air. Pepper is good for you. I'm the duchess little girl. Who are you?
[00:24:56] Unknown:
Never mind. Time's money, I always say.
[00:24:59] Unknown:
Cook. Yes, mom. More pepper. Oh, not more pepper. The baby's sneezing and howling already, poor little thing. Nonsense.
[00:25:08] Unknown:
This baby lives on Pepper. But the only one
[00:25:13] Unknown:
who isn't sneezing is the cat. Oh, it's grinning. Could you tell me why your cat grins like that? It's a Cheshire cat.
[00:25:23] Unknown:
Pig. Me? No. The baby. It won't stay quiet.
[00:25:27] Unknown:
Oh, I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grin. In fact, I didn't know that cats could grin. They all can, and most of them do. I don't know of any that do. You don't know much, and that's a fact.
[00:25:39] Unknown:
Cook, take the soup off. Yes, ma'am.
[00:25:45] Unknown:
Oh, please. Watch what you're doing. You almost took the baby's nose off. If everybody minded their business, the world would go round a deal faster than it does. Which would not be an advantage. I learned all about it at school. You see, the Earth takes twenty four hours to turn round on its axis. Talking of axes, chop off my head. It takes twenty four hours, I think. Or is it
[00:26:08] Unknown:
twelve? I Oh, now don't bother me. I never could abide figures. Speak roughly to your little boy and fidget when he sneezes. And he does it to annoy because he knows it. He only does it to annoy because he knows it Jesus. I speak severely to my boy. I beat him when he sneezes for he can thoroughly enjoy the pepper when he pleases. Here, you may hold the baby a bit if you like. Well, don't throw it.
[00:27:15] Unknown:
Oh, there now, baby. It's alright.
[00:27:19] Unknown:
I must go and get ready to play croquet with the queen. Cook. Mind the soup kettle. Yes, ma'am.
[00:27:28] Unknown:
Oh my god. You'll hit the baby. If I don't take this child, they're sure to kill it in a day or two. Come on, baby. Let's get out of here before they kill us both. There now, baby. Wouldn't it be murder to leave you behind in there? Don't grunt. That's not at all a proper way of expressing yourself. You know, baby, that turned up nose of yours looks much more like a snot than a real nose. Your eyes are extremely small for a baby. Well, if you're going to turn into a pig, my dear, I'll have nothing more to do with you. Well, there's no mistaking it now. You are turning into a pig. Here, I'll set you down.
Well, it would have made a dreadfully ugly child, but it makes a rather handsome pig, I think. Now I wonder which way I ought to go from here.
[00:28:51] Unknown:
Hello? Who
[00:28:53] Unknown:
what?
[00:28:55] Unknown:
Who said that? They are up in a tree and it'll be out.
[00:28:59] Unknown:
Oh, it's the Cheshire cat from the Duchesses. Cheshire Puss. Yeah.
[00:29:04] Unknown:
Would you tell me, please? What sort of people live around here? Over that way lives a matter, and then the other way lives a march here. Visit either you like. They're both mad. Oh, but I don't wanna go among mad people. Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad, and you're mad. How do you know I'm mad? Well, you must be or you wouldn't have come here. Oh, well, that doesn't prove anything.
[00:29:27] Unknown:
How How do know how do you know that you're mad? When you begin with the dog's not mad, you granddad.
[00:29:33] Unknown:
I suppose so. Well, then you see a dog growls when it's angry and wags his tail when his face Yes. Now I growl when I pee and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore, I'm in.
[00:29:46] Unknown:
Oh, I call it purring, not growling.
[00:29:49] Unknown:
Call it what you like. Purring and growling. It's the same. Do you play croquet with the queen today? Oh, I should like to, but I haven't been invited yet. You'll see me there. Round goodbye.
[00:30:02] Unknown:
Well, he's vanished. He certainly goes quickly. I suppose it's because he's a Cheshire cat.
[00:30:10] Unknown:
Oh, by the way, I forgot to ask. What's the name of the baby?
[00:30:14] Unknown:
Oh, it's you again. It turned into a pig. Yep. I got it, Lynn. Well, I'll come by again. Vanished again. Well, now, which way shall I go? The hatter or the March Hare? Oh, I've seen hatters before, so the March Hare will be much more interesting. And perhaps as this is May, he won't be raving mad, At least, not so mad as if it were March.
[00:30:41] Unknown:
Did you say pig?
[00:30:43] Unknown:
Pig. I said pig, and I wish you wouldn't keep appearing and vanishing so suddenly. You make one quite giddy.
[00:30:51] Unknown:
Alright. Okay. Just now.
[00:31:00] Unknown:
Now there's nothing left but the grin. Well, I've often seen a cat without a grin, but a grin without a cat. It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life. The March Hare it is then, and that must be his house. The chimney's like ears and the roof's thatched with fur. It's nearly tea time. I wonder if I can get any of the March Hare's. Well, raving mad or not, here I go. Although I I almost wish I'd gone to see the Mad Hatter instead.
[00:31:57] Unknown:
You're listening to Dinah Shore as Alice in Wonderland, a special presentation for the holiday season by the NBC University Theater. Our adaptation of the Lewis Carroll classic continues after a brief pause for station identification. We're off now on a picnic on the Thames Bank at Oxford with the Reverend Charles Dodgson and his three young guests. Finish the story, says the middle one. What happened to Alice in Wonderland next? Now, let's see, says the clergyman. There was a table set out under a tree in front of the March Hare's house. The March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it. Dormoz was sitting between them fast asleep, and the two were resting their elbows on him. Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse, thought Atlas.
[00:33:26] Unknown:
Only it's asleep, so I suppose it doesn't mind. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No
[00:33:48] Unknown:
There's nothing but tea. I don't see any wine. Oh, there isn't any. And it wasn't very civil of you to offer it. Well, it wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being asked. Well, the table's set for more than three. I I didn't think you'd mind. Your hair wants cutting. And you should learn not to make personal remarks, mister Hatter. It's very rude.
[00:34:09] Unknown:
Why is a raven like a writing desk? Oh, riddles. Now we'll have some fun. I think I can guess that. You mean you think you can find the answer to it? Exactly so. Then you should say what you mean. I do.
[00:34:21] Unknown:
At least, I mean what I say. That's the same thing, you know. Not a bit. Not a bit. Why, you might just as well say that, I see what I eat is the same as I eat what I see. Yes. You might just as well say that I like what I get is the same as I get what I like. You might just as well say that I breathe when I sleep is the same as I sleep when I breathe. It is the same for you, Dormouse. Let's see now. The riddle. Raven and the writing desk. What day of the month is it? The fourth, I think. There. I thought so. Look at my watch. Two days wrong.
I told you butter wouldn't suit the works. Well, it was the best butter, Hatter. No. Some crumbs must have gotten in as well. You shouldn't have put it in with the bread knife.
[00:35:10] Unknown:
Try dipping it in the tea.
[00:35:13] Unknown:
It was the very best butter. Oh, the Dormouse is sleeping and pour some tea in his nose.
[00:35:20] Unknown:
Of course.
[00:35:21] Unknown:
Of course.
[00:35:23] Unknown:
Just what I was going to remark myself.
[00:35:28] Unknown:
Well, have you guessed the riddle yet? No. I give it up. Why is a raven like a writing disk? I haven't the slightest idea. Yet, nor I. I think you might do something better with the time than waste it in asking riddles that have no answers.
[00:35:42] Unknown:
Oh, if you knew time as well as I do, you wouldn't talk about wasting it. It's him. I don't know what you mean. Of course, you don't. I dare say you've never even spoken spoken a word a time. No. But I have to beat time when I learn music. That accounts for it. He won't stand beating. Now if you kept on good terms with time, he'd do most anything for you. For example, if it's 09:00, time for lessons, or whisper the time. And it's half past one, time for dinner. Oh, I wish it was. Oh, is that the way you manage? Oh, dear. No. We quarreled last March, time and I, just before the hair went mad, you know. It was at the great concert given by the Queen of Hearts. I had to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Bat. You know the song? Well, I've I've heard something like it. It goes on, you know.
[00:36:36] Unknown:
Twinkle, twinkle little bat. Oh, I wonder what you're at. Up above the world you'll fly like a pete ray in the sky.
[00:36:57] Unknown:
I mean, definitely. Twenty twenty. No. Twenty twenty. There,
[00:37:02] Unknown:
he stopped.
[00:37:03] Unknown:
Well, I'd hardly finish the first verse when the queen bowled out. He's murdering the time of a desert. How dreadful a savage. And ever since that, time won't do a thing I ask. It's always 06:00
[00:37:15] Unknown:
now. Is that the reason so many tea things are put out here?
[00:37:18] Unknown:
That's it. It's always tea time, and we've no time to wash the things between wilds. Then you keep moving
[00:37:26] Unknown:
around the table, I suppose? Exactly so, as the things get used up. But what happens when you come to the beginning again?
[00:37:35] Unknown:
Let's change the subject, Hatter. I vote the young lady tells us a story. Oh,
[00:37:40] Unknown:
I'm afraid I don't know one. Well, then the dormouse shall.
[00:37:44] Unknown:
Wake up, dormouse.
[00:37:45] Unknown:
Dormouse? Wake up? Come on,
[00:37:49] Unknown:
I wasn't asleep. I heard every word you fellas were saying. Tell us a story. Oh, yes. Please do. And be quick about it or you'll be asleep again. Once upon a time, there were three little sisters and their names were Elsie, Lacey, and Tilly. And And they lived at the bottom of the well.
[00:38:05] Unknown:
What did they live on? Tree echo. Oh, they couldn't have. They'd have been ill. So they were very ill. But why did they live at the bottom of the well? It was a tree echo well. But there can't be a
[00:38:17] Unknown:
If you you can't be civil. You better finish the story yourself. Oh, no. No. Please go on. I I won't interrupt you again. Well, these three little sisters were learning to
[00:38:30] Unknown:
draw. What did they draw? Triacle?
[00:38:34] Unknown:
I want a clean cup. Let's all move one place on.
[00:38:39] Unknown:
Oh, but the March hare spilled the milk jug in his plate, and I've got to move to his place.
[00:38:45] Unknown:
Go, go about your story now, Dormouse. Well, yes. Where did they draw the treacle from? You can draw water out of a water well, so I should think you could draw a treacle out of a treacle well. Stupid?
[00:38:55] Unknown:
But they were in the well. Of course, they were.
[00:38:59] Unknown:
Well in. They were learning to draw, and they drew all manner of things. Everything that begins with an m. Why with an m? Well, why not?
[00:39:10] Unknown:
Oh, now the doormouse is asleep again. Come, come, come, come. Come on now. Up again. It
[00:39:16] Unknown:
begins with an m such as mouse traps and the moon and memory and muchness. Muchness? Muchness. You know, you say things are much of a muchness. Did you ever see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?
[00:39:34] Unknown:
Well, really, now that you ask me, I don't think I Then you shouldn't talk. Well, that's too much. That's the rudest.
[00:39:42] Unknown:
Well, I certainly shan't stay. Goodbye. Oh, the door mouse is asleep again. Wake him up again. Pinch him. Put him in the teapot. Come on. Come on. Wake up. Now. Wake up. Now. Wake up. Wake up.
[00:39:53] Unknown:
Well, I shall never go there again. It's the stupidest tea party I was ever at in all my life. This is very curious. There's a door in the tree trunk, but everything's curious today. I think I may as well go in at once. Oh, it's the glass hall again, and the door to the lovely garden is open, and I can get through. Well, here I go at last. Oh, what lovely white roses, but that's odd. Those gardeners are painting them red.
[00:40:41] Unknown:
Well, they're really playing cards. Look out now, Five. Don't go splashing paint over me.
[00:40:46] Unknown:
Yeah. Jungle my arm too. Well, of all the unjust actresses I I beg your pardon, but could you tell me why you're painting those roses?
[00:40:56] Unknown:
Well, miss, you see, this ought to have been a red rose tree. We put a white one in by mistake. And if the queen was to find it out, we should both have our heads cut off. So you see, miss, we're doing our best.
[00:41:11] Unknown:
Oh, my. The queen. The queen.
[00:41:17] Unknown:
The king and queen of hearts.
[00:41:20] Unknown:
Well, who is this? What's your name, child? My name's Alice, so please your majesty. And who are these creatures on the ground? How should I know it's no business of mine? What? Off with our head. Off with our head. Nonsense. What? Nonsense. Oh. Consider my dear. She's only a child. No matter. Well, you two on the ground, what have you been doing? Never mind. Off with the heads.
[00:41:42] Unknown:
Can you play croquet, child? Yes, your majesty. Come along then, your majesty.
[00:41:48] Unknown:
Mhmm. Oh oh oh, yeah. Yeah. Yes. Of course. Onto the croquet ground.
[00:42:00] Unknown:
Hello. Oh, it's the white rabbit. It's a very fine day. Very. Where's the duchess?
[00:42:07] Unknown:
She's under sentence of execution. But for? Did you say what a pity?
[00:42:12] Unknown:
No. I didn't. I don't think it's at all a pity. I said what for? She boxed the queen's ears.
[00:42:20] Unknown:
Oh, oh, shh. The queen will hear you. Get to your places. Let the croquet game begin. Off with his head. Off with his head. Goodness.
[00:42:33] Unknown:
What an odd croquet match. Hedgehogs for balls and flamingos for mallets, and what a den.
[00:42:40] Unknown:
Mom.
[00:42:45] Unknown:
Hello. Oh, it's the Cheshire cat. Now she'll have somebody to talk to. How are you feeling on? Oh, I don't think they play at all fairly. They all quarrel so, and and there doesn't seem to be any ruse. How do you like the queen? Oh, not at all. She's so extremely hello, your majesty? Who are you talking to? A a friend of mine, your majesty, a Cheshire cat. Allow me to introduce it. Cat, this is the king and queen of hearts.
[00:43:15] Unknown:
I don't like the look of it all. However, it may kiss my hand if it likes.
[00:43:23] Unknown:
I hear you not.
[00:43:24] Unknown:
Don't be impertinent. Don't look at me like that. A cat may look at a king. I I read that in some book, but I I don't remember where. Well, the cat must be removed. Off with his head. Oh, yeah. Yes. Of course. But consider my dear, the cat is vanished up to the neck. We can't cut off a head without a body to cut it off from. Ridiculous.
[00:43:45] Unknown:
Anything that has a head can be beheaded. No more nonsense. And if something isn't done soon, I'll have everybody executed all around. Well, the cat belongs to the duchess. You might ask her. She's in prison. Catch her here. Immediately, your majesty.
[00:43:59] Unknown:
Well, I can't stay here all day now.
[00:44:02] Unknown:
You can't leave. You're to be executed. Oh, I'm sorry. Stop him. Stop him. Where is he going? Off with his head.
[00:44:23] Unknown:
Oh, you can't think how glad I am to see you, dear. Oh, it's the duchess.
[00:44:28] Unknown:
I thought you were in prison. I was. I got away when they went after the cat. You know, you were so savage when I met you in the kitchen before. I wonder if it's always pepper that makes people hot tempered and vinegar that makes them sour.
[00:44:42] Unknown:
You're thinking about something, dear, and that makes you forget to talk properly. I can't tell you what the moral of that is, but I shall remember it after a while. Is there always a moral? Of course. I I dare say you're wondering why I don't put my arm around your waist. The reason
[00:44:58] Unknown:
is, I'm afraid. Oh, well, I don't bite. You know? Oh, very true.
[00:45:03] Unknown:
Dogs and mustard both bite, and the moral of that is birds of a feather flock together. Only mustard isn't an animal. Right as usual. Oh, what a clear way you have a pudding thing.
[00:45:16] Unknown:
It's a mineral, I think.
[00:45:18] Unknown:
Of course it is. There's a large mustard mine near here, and the moral of that is the more there is of mine, the less there is of yours. Oh, I know. It's a vegetable. I quite agree with you. And the moral of that is be what you would seem to be. And that's nothing to what I could say if I chose. Oh, pray don't trouble yourself. Oh, it's no trouble at all. No. No. How do you do, your majesty? What are you doing here?
[00:45:49] Unknown:
Fine day, your majesty. I give you fair warning, duchess.
[00:45:53] Unknown:
Either you or your head must be off, and that end about half no time. Take your choice. Oh, well. Of course. Goodbye. There now. Have you seen the mock turtle yet? No. I I don't even know what a mock turtle is. It's the thing mock turtle soup is made from. I've never seen one. Come along then, and he shall tell you his history.
[00:46:28] Unknown:
Alice, this is a griffin. How do you do? Up up, lazy thing. You ought to take this young lady to see the mock turtle. Oh, very well. Good. I must go back and see after some executions I've ordered.
[00:46:49] Unknown:
What fun. What? Why the queen? It's all her fancy that they never executes nobody, you know. Come on. Oh, dear. I was never so ordered about in my life. Hi there, Mark Turtle. Oh, this here, young lady, she wants for to know your history. She do?
[00:47:14] Unknown:
Oh, very well. Once, I was a real turtle.
[00:47:23] Unknown:
Well?
[00:47:24] Unknown:
When we were little, we went to school in the sea. The master was an old turtle. We used to call him Tortoise.
[00:47:33] Unknown:
Why did you call him Tortoise if he was a turtle? We called him Tortoise because he taught us.
[00:47:39] Unknown:
Oh, really? You're very dumb. Now
[00:47:43] Unknown:
hold your tongue. We had the best of education.
[00:47:46] Unknown:
In fact, we went to school every day. I've been to day school too. With extras? Oh, yes. We had French and music. And washing?
[00:47:56] Unknown:
Certainly not. Then it wasn't really a good school. At our school, they had it at the end of the bill, French, music, and washing extra. But I only took the regular course. What was that? Reeling and writhing, of course, to begin with, and then the different branches of arithmetic, ambition, distraction, uglification,
[00:48:20] Unknown:
and derision. What else had you to learn? Well, there was mystery,
[00:48:25] Unknown:
ancient and modern, and drawling. Drawling? The drawling master was an old conga eel. He taught us drawling, stretching, and painting in coils. What was that like? I can't show you myself. I am too stiff, and the griffin never learned. Oh, ahead in time.
[00:48:42] Unknown:
And and how many hours a day did you do lessons? Ten hours the first day,
[00:48:46] Unknown:
nine the next, and so on. What a curious plan. That's the reason they're called lessons.
[00:48:52] Unknown:
They lesson from day to day. Oh, then the eleventh day must have been a holiday. Oh, that's enough about lessons. Tell us something about games.
[00:49:04] Unknown:
Oh, very, very. Perhaps you've never been introduced to a lobster.
[00:49:09] Unknown:
Well, I once tasted I mean,
[00:49:13] Unknown:
no. Then you have no idea what a delightful thing a lobster quadrille is. What sort of dance is it? Why, you, first form a line along the sea shore. A two lines, seals, turtles, salmons, and so on. Then when you've cleared all the jellyfish out of the way, you advance twice. Each with a lobster as a part. Advance twice, set to party. Change lobsters and retire in Saint Morden. Then, you know, you throw the Lobsters. As far out to sea as you can. Swim after the Turn a somersault in the sea Change lobsters. And back to land. And that's all the first figure. Oh, it must be a very pretty dance. Come, let's try the first figure. We'll both sing. Very well then.
[00:50:32] Unknown:
Oh, I do so like that curious song about the whiting. Do you know why it's called a whiting? Why? It does the boots and shoes. Shoes? Certainly. What are your shoes done with? Blocking. Well,
[00:50:46] Unknown:
boots and shoes under the sea are done with whiting. Well, what are the boots made of? Soles and eels, of course. Well, if I'd been the whiting, I'd have told the porpoise to stand back.
[00:50:58] Unknown:
Oh, no. They were obliged to have him with them. No wise fish would go anywhere without one. No. Of course not. Why if a fish came to me and said he was going on a journey, I'd asked with what porpoise?
[00:51:10] Unknown:
Don't you mean purpose? He means what he says. Well, now, shall I dance somewhere, or shall the mock turtle sing you a song? Oh, a song, please, if the mock turtle would be so kind. Well, there's no accounting for taste. Sing her turtle
[00:51:29] Unknown:
soup, old man.
[00:51:36] Unknown:
Beautiful soup, so
[00:52:30] Unknown:
The trial's beginning. Come on. What trial? Never mind. Come on.
[00:52:57] Unknown:
Beautiful soup
[00:53:02] Unknown:
Silence. The court is now in session. Their majesties, the king and queen of hearts, presiding.
[00:53:09] Unknown:
The king's wearing his crown over a judge's wig.
[00:53:13] Unknown:
So I went in court.
[00:53:14] Unknown:
Harold, read the accusation.
[00:53:19] Unknown:
The queen of hearts, she made some tots all on a summer's day. The knave of hearts, he stole those tots and took them quite away.
[00:53:30] Unknown:
Consider your verdict. Not yet, simpleton.
[00:53:33] Unknown:
Harold, call the first witness. The oh oh, yeah. Yes. The first witness.
[00:53:40] Unknown:
First witness,
[00:53:41] Unknown:
the Mad Hatter. I'll be here. Here. Coming. Coming. Coming. I I I beg your pardon, your majesty. I hadn't quite finished my tea. When did you begin? March 14, I think. Or or fifteenth
[00:53:55] Unknown:
or maybe sixteenth. Write that down.
[00:53:58] Unknown:
Well It adds up to £9.07
[00:54:01] Unknown:
and 6, your majesty. Good. And you, witness, take off your hat. Give your evidence, or I'll have you executed on the spot. Quit shoving, little girl. I can't help it. I'm beginning to grow again. Well, you shouldn't grow in here. It's too crowded.
[00:54:15] Unknown:
Give your evidence, Hatter.
[00:54:17] Unknown:
I'm a poor man, your majesty. And what with the bread and butter getting so thin and the twinkling of the tea? The twinkling of what?
[00:54:25] Unknown:
It began with the t. Of course, twinkling begins with t.
[00:54:29] Unknown:
Go on. I'm a poor man, your majesty, and most things twinkled after that. And the march here says I did not. You did. I denied it. You denies it. Leave out that part. It was tea time, your majesty, and the doormouse said the doormouse said He can't deny it. He's asleep. I'm a poor man, Your majesty Very poor. Speaker. Here. Here. You may go. And take off his head outside. Next witness, the duchess is cooked. Give your evidence. Shand.
[00:54:58] Unknown:
Oh, I I suppose I I've got to cross examine you. What are tarts made of? Pepper mostly. Crier, fool. Call on that dormouse. Turn that dormouse out of court. Pinch him up with his whiskers. Never mind. Call the next witness. Next witness.
[00:55:16] Unknown:
Hours. Here?
[00:55:18] Unknown:
Careful there. If you don't stop growing, you will upset the jewelry box. Oh, I I'm so sorry. Now then, what do you know about this business? Nothing whatever.
[00:55:29] Unknown:
Yeah.
[00:55:31] Unknown:
Science.
[00:55:32] Unknown:
Rule 42.
[00:55:34] Unknown:
All persons more than a mile high to lead the court. Oh, I'm just growing again. I can't help it. And besides, I'm not a mile high. You are. Nearly two miles high. Well, I shan't go. And besides, that's not a regular rule. You invented it just now. It's the oldest rule in the book. Then it ought to be the number one.
[00:55:54] Unknown:
Consider your verdict. No. No. No. No. Sentence first. Verdict afterwards. Stuff and nonsense. The idea of having the sentence first. Hold your tongue. I won't. Off with her head. Off with her head. Off with her head. Off with her head. Off with her head. Off with her head. Off with her head. Off with her head. Off with her head.
[00:56:09] Unknown:
Who cares for any of you? You're nothing but a little pack of cards.
[00:56:28] Unknown:
Alice? Alice? Alice?
[00:56:33] Unknown:
Nothing but a pack of cards. Wake up, Alice dear. It's nearly tea time. Oh, Emily, I've had such a curious dream, or was it a dream? Listen, Emily. I can still hear it. Listen. It's the mock turtle singing. Oh,
[00:56:57] Unknown:
listen. The evening.
[00:57:08] Unknown:
It's only the cows. We're driving them home now. You have been dreaming, Alice. I suppose so. It was so curious. Well, come on, Emily. We'll be late for tea.
[00:57:40] Unknown:
And that's the story the reverend mister Dodgson told his little guests on the banks of the Thames. The good doctor wrote out his little story for the real Alice as a Christmas gift and signed it with a pseudonym. And all that's left today of the reverend mathematician of Oxford are the stories Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll. The curtain of the NBC University Theatre falls on our special holiday presentation of Lewis Carroll's beloved story, Alice in Wonderland. Ernest Kennoy adapted it for radio, and our star in the role of Alice was miss Dinah Shore. Our cast included Arthur q Brian, Earl Keen, Maya Gregory, Dick Ryan, Margaret Brayton, Parley Bear, Jack Krushen, Don Messick, Noreen Gamil, Ralph Moody, Hugh Thomas, Charles Seal.
Your announcer, Don Stanley. Original music for Alice in Wonderland was composed and conducted by Henry Russell. The production was directed by Andrew c Love. Next week, the NBC University Theatre will take a one week holiday. And in its place over most of these stations, the news and special events department of the National Broadcasting Company will bring you an unusual special program recreating the 10 big broadcast stories of 1948. We sincerely hope that you will be listening. Week after next at the usual time, the university theater resumes its regular series dramatizing the outstanding works of modern British and American authors.
During the month of January, you will hear a distinguished quartet of modern works, beginning with John Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath and continuing with the Graham Greene novel Brighton Rock, Robert Penn Warren's Pulitzer Prize winner All the King's Men, and the Catherine Ann Porter story, Noon Wine. Be with us then two weeks from today when the NBC University Theatre brings you John Steinbeck's great novel, The Grapes of Wrath, starring Jane Darwell in her academy award winning role, Ma Joad.
[01:00:38] Unknown:
This program came to you from Hollywood. It's a wonderful Sunday on this station. Yes. Two and one half hours of fun when you keep tuned right where you are. And remember, next week, Horace Hite moves into the number one spot while Fred Allen drives up to your home a half hour earlier. Hear them tonight and every Sunday over most of these stations. This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company.
[01:01:10] Unknown:
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Introduction to Alice in Wonderland
The Story Behind Lewis Carroll's Tale
Alice's Adventure Begins
The White Rabbit and the Garden
The Pool of Tears
The Caucus Race and a Long Tale
Alice and the Caterpillar
The Duchess and the Cheshire Cat
The Mad Tea Party
The Queen's Croquet Ground
The Mock Turtle's Story
The Trial of the Knave of Hearts
Alice's Awakening
