In this thrilling episode, we dive into a peculiar request from General Sir Quentin Gray of the War Office, who seeks the services of a male mannequin for a top-secret assignment. Our protagonist, Cannon, is reluctantly roped into modeling a new bulletproof suit, leading to a series of unexpected and dangerous events. As Cannon navigates through the bizarre demands of the military, he finds himself in a high-stakes situation involving machine gun fire and a mysterious trip to Ireland.
Once in Ireland, Cannon is unwittingly caught in a web of espionage, where he becomes the bait in a trap set by counterintelligence to capture a spy cell. The tension escalates as Cannon faces a life-threatening ordeal, only to be rescued in the nick of time. The episode concludes with Cannon's well-deserved holiday in Ireland, leaving listeners on the edge of their seats with a mix of suspense, humor, and unexpected twists.
(00:00) A Peculiar Request from the War Office
(03:00) The Bulletproof Suit Test
(09:00) Unexpected Travel Plans
(13:00) A Suspicious Journey to Ireland
(18:00) Captured and Interrogated
(22:00) The Rescue and Revelation
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[00:00:00]
Unknown:
And I'm I'm not quite sure how to go about getting a civilian to have a suit. I'm one jump ahead of you, rightly. Here you are. Make an appointment for me to see these people at 33 Half Moon Street.
[00:00:22] Unknown:
2 sides to the Shamrock. I received a call from that grand old warrior, sir Quentin Gray of the war office, and listened to him on the phone requesting the services of a male mannequin. At first, I thought it was a leg pull, but the parade square barque on the other end of the line quickly convinced me of his sincerity. He made an appointment to come over and discuss details, and I thought it better if I softened the blow for cannon before the eminent general arrived. Cannon? Well, I I had a rather peculiar request from the War Office, General Sir Quentin Gray.
[00:01:10] Unknown:
Oh, what's he want? Is he for a volunteer for Vietnam? Well, I think it must be a personal matter.
[00:01:16] Unknown:
Well, come to think of it, I don't see how it could possibly be a military task. Well, didn't the general see what he wanted? Yes.
[00:01:22] Unknown:
Well, come on, give. I mean, what are you hedging for, chief? Well, I'm not quite sure how you'll take this, Cameron.
[00:01:29] Unknown:
Well, he, he wishes to engage the services of a male mannequin.
[00:01:35] Unknown:
Come again?
[00:01:36] Unknown:
A mannequin. You know, it's well, it's customary these days for men to show off for latest fashions. There's nothing odd about it. I mean, it's done all the time. Some jacks make, well, quite a professional division. No dice. Now, Callan, you mustn't be here. Chief, I am not modeling clothes for the general or for anybody else. Well, there's nobody else to do it. Carson's away in Ireland and the general says that I'm the wrong bill. Well, that's tough, but I'm no clothes horse for the shaver things to come. I have my reputation to think of. Of. What reputation? Well, I mean, you know All I do know is that if we turn down this job, we've certainly ruined the reputation of assignments unlimited.
[00:02:11] Unknown:
Oh, I get you playing on my loyalty.
[00:02:14] Unknown:
Well, you you could wear a false mustache. Yeah. And a long black beard with smoky glasses. They'd go great with a bikini button. Well, the general said it was a suit. Oh, come on, Cannon. Be a good fellow. I don't like insisting, but well, the fact is I sort of well, I promised the general that we'd take on the job. Look. Why didn't we get a model from one of the agencies? Well, perhaps being an army man, he was embarrassed. He was embarrassed. Oh, look. This must be him now. Come in.
[00:02:42] Unknown:
Yeah. Mason?
[00:02:43] Unknown:
Yes, general. Do come in. Painful.
[00:02:47] Unknown:
Is this the man you've chosen for the model? Well, the yes. Take a seat. In a moment, Painful. Now then what's your name? Cannon. Pitt? You bet. Now look, before you Quiet. I'll do the talking. Is this man trustworthy, Mason? Completely, general. Secrecy is important in this display. I shall require you to sign a document to that effect. Sure. Certainly. All right, Kennon. Take off your shuttle. Hey. Now wait a minute. You will be sorry, young mayor, if you called me to be truttrellent. Have you served any time in the army? Well, sure I have, but We can't have forgotten how to obey orders. I know you're a civilian now, and this is a job for a civilian, but you'll kindly try and remember a little discipline.
Now then take that shirt off. Yes.
[00:03:27] Unknown:
Sir.
[00:03:32] Unknown:
Yes. Good specimen, Mason. Strong chest. Sturdy loins. Right. He'll do. Right. Put your shirt back on. Alright. I'll take that seat now. Tea, gentlemen? No. I wouldn't say no, would it? Missus Summ going spare oh, fine.
[00:03:50] Unknown:
Miss Fareweller, send in a pot of tea, will you? No. No. It's not for mister Canner, and we shall not require daisy cakes. Now please get a move on.
[00:04:02] Unknown:
Now, sir, if we can have the details. Yes. Of course. The display will be at fourteen hundred hours to Morrodd Woolwich. Your man will report to the barracks at thirteen hundred hours to, well, familiarize himself with the suit. I have a past name in my briefcase. He just requires the name to be added. Now he's to talk to no one and report straight to me. I'll inform the guard commander to that effect. I shall require details of his next of kin, if any, and, he must undergo a medical. If he's been in the army, he probably remembers his blood group. Do you? Yes. Us, sir. Yes. In case of accident, his dependents, Evay, will receive the normal army pension of a full corporal. He will, in fact, sign army papers with the recruiting officer.
These papers to be destroyed at the display is a success. It's a formality, we understand, to save trouble afterwards.
[00:04:51] Unknown:
That clear, Mason? Well, yes, general. But, well, what's canon to display? The suit. I thought I made that clear. Well, it seems to me that you're going to a lot of trouble over the modeling of a bit of natty gents.
[00:05:04] Unknown:
Yeah. Well, I should have mentioned that this is a new invention so far untried with a live model that is. Of course, it's a bulletproof suit. Bulletproof? Well, you say, Cannon. I hope so. You'll be subjected to point blank machine gun fire and bombarded with electrons. If all goes well, we'll be back here at seventeen hundred hours. Yes. Well, I think that's all. Goodbye, mister Mason. Good luck, mister Cannon.
[00:05:31] Unknown:
The general didn't even wait for tea, which is probably just as well since Cannon sent it straight back again and ordered whiskey. I couldn't help thinking that Cannon's was a a shattering introduction to the world of modern fashion, but he seemed unperturbed. The following day at 01:00 sharp, he reported to the general.
[00:05:50] Unknown:
Corporal Cannon reporting for duty, sir. Stand EDCannon.
[00:05:54] Unknown:
Have you signed a necessary document? No, sir. No? Why not? Well, I have no next of kin and no dependents. My blood group is o, and the medical officer isn't in the surgery. Yeah. We appear to have picked the perfect man for the job. If there is an accident, we, we can inform this, my take. Yes. That will be in order, sir. Necessary to have someone you know, a value of arrangements and so on. Yes. Well, here's the suit cannon. Try it on. No. Thank you.
[00:06:20] Unknown:
Say,
[00:06:21] Unknown:
this looks like the underskin of a spacesuit. We are not here to ask questions, merely to act as a guinea pig. It's been tested under every conceivable artificial condition. This is the final test.
[00:06:33] Unknown:
I, I guess this will sound like a silly question, general, but, were the artificial tests successful? You don't think we'd put you in it if they went, do you? Well, I, must confess I have my doubts. Okay. Here I go. Yeah.
[00:06:51] Unknown:
Alright. Alright. Now let me see you walking it.
[00:06:56] Unknown:
How does it feel? Well, it feels heavy. Weighs a man down. Soldier wouldn't run far with this on his back. Where this is going, weight doesn't matter.
[00:07:05] Unknown:
Alright. We'll go to the firing yard now. It's normally used by the ordnance people to test repaired weapons. This afternoon, the first test will be several bursts of machine gun fire aimed at your chest, and our tip is out will be in charge. Well, I, sure hope this guy's a good shot because, my head feel like William Tell's apple. Well, you can hardly miss. He'll file point blank range and you need to have no fair ricochets. The suit is designed to take up the force of a bullet like a sponge. Alright. Follow me. Right, Karen. Just stand over there. No. No. No. Away from the wall.
The impact of the shot might knock you off your feet. You don't want to bang your head on the wall. The last thing we want is an accident. Lightly, sir. Alright. Take over the gun Lightly. On my command, you'll fire one burst at Cannon's chest. Yes, sir. Alright. Ready, Cannon?
[00:08:08] Unknown:
Yes, sir.
[00:08:09] Unknown:
Ready, my plan. Ready, sir. M. Power. I killed him, sir. No. No. You haven't. Just knocked him off his feet and knocked the breath out of him. You all right, Kennon? Yep. I
[00:08:28] Unknown:
I guess so, general. Boy, that thing's gotta kick like a mule. Yes. Well, now get the suit off and we'll have a check on you. Well, well, you know, this, this suit really works.
[00:08:38] Unknown:
Against machine gunfire. Yes. The important test is the electrons. We're not quite sure what effect they have on the human body. There's a danger of contamination even with this suit. Of course, if the test is successful, we'll have a major breakthrough. And, if it isn't successful? No. I wouldn't worry about that, Cannon. You won't know anything about it. A dish of char,
[00:09:00] Unknown:
the general's terminology for a cup of tea, and Cannon redone the suit and was once again successfully tested. Rused but happy, he returned to the office at 05:00. The whole operation having been conducted like an army maneuver, which in fact, I suppose it was. Cannon had hardly sat down when the phone rang on the direct line. Assignments unlimited.
[00:09:29] Unknown:
Mason? Oh, yes, general. I am sending you over some travel warrants for your man, Cannon. Did you say travel warrants? Yes. With a place in the North Of Ireland now look. I want Canon to go there for a week to rest up. He'll be on for pay. When he returns, we'll be wanting to undergo certain medical tests. Soon as he leaves in the morning, we don't. Certainly, general. Right. For a fellow vet, we might call on him again. Goodbye. Goodbye.
[00:09:57] Unknown:
General Grey? Yes.
[00:09:59] Unknown:
The old chap's pretty pleased with you. In fact, he's sending you on a week's leave to Ireland. Leave? Hey, what is this? Am I becoming a, a professional guinea pig? No. No. They want you to rest up for a week and then take medical
[00:10:12] Unknown:
tests. Well, I should have been an astronaut. Why an astronaut? Well, that thing I tested wasn't a bulletproof vest. It was a sort of, sort of a space suit. Look, Kennan. You should keep that information to yourself. Oh, I will outside this office. I, I just wanted you to know what gives in case you have to take over where I leave off. This is high science chief, and, you ought to tell that crazy general that the firm might be assignments unlimited, but the operators are certainly not unlimited. Are you getting cold feet? Oh, no. Whoever heard of cold feet in a space suit?
[00:10:43] Unknown:
Oh, now who can that be? Oh, it's probably the travel warrants. Let's quit. I'll give it to you.
[00:10:51] Unknown:
Is this assignments unlimited? That's right. I have some travel documents from general Quentin Gray. Oh, come on in. Just for a moment. There's been a slight change in plan. The general asks if you can leave tonight right away in fact. There's a plane leaving for Ireland in an hour he'd like you to be on it. Well, where the howdy, miss? Security, I suppose. I have a staff car outside. And, why Ireland? Well, the general said they have a place in the North Of Ireland.
[00:11:15] Unknown:
Can you make it, Kevin?
[00:11:16] Unknown:
Well, don't I get a chance to pick up my toothbrush? The army provides everything, Mr. Cannon. Okay. And I thought army life was a bore. Well, let's go. Sit on, chief. I'll send you a Shamluck. Look after yourself, cannon.
[00:11:31] Unknown:
You know you're supposed to be resting.
[00:11:33] Unknown:
Are you coming, baby? Yes. I am. You see what I mean, chief? There's no rest for the wicket.
[00:11:40] Unknown:
Oh, oh, what a day. Space suit. Oh, no wonder Sir Quentin was so adamant about signing that security document. Oh, no. Not again. What is it this time?
[00:11:54] Unknown:
Sign is unlimited. Well, we're closed for the night. I understand that, sir. I'm Lieutenant Lightly, Alderman's officer to, General Grey. Oh, well that's different. Come in Lieutenant. Thank you. It's not to worry you at this time, sir, but I believe the general rang up about Cannon going off to Ireland. Yes, he did. I've got his travel warrants here, sir, for tomorrow. Travel warrants? Well, there's been a change in plan, lieutenant. The journey was switched to, tonight. There must be some mistake, sir. These documents I have here are the only ones that have been issued. I know that because I'm in charge of them. Then who is the girl from your department?
Girl,
[00:12:31] Unknown:
sir. There are no girls on the general staff. Leaving a startled lieutenant Lightly standing papers in hand by my desk, I I rushed into the street after cannon, but I was too late. There was no sign of either him or the young Irish girl. They both disappeared into thin air.
[00:12:55] Unknown:
We'll be youngly soon, mister Cannon. Oh, I haven't asked her. Have you beat Ireland before? Yeah. Most certainly have. The, Dublin scenery is wonderful. Most people prefer the countryside. Yeah. But there are more girls in Dublin. Really, mister Cannon. How'd you feel after your ordeal? Any side effects? No. Not a thing. I, I feel just great. You're a rough mob in Quentin Grey's department.
[00:13:17] Unknown:
What did they do to you? No. It's, it's top secret. Not to me. You forget I worked for the department. Well, then you should know better than to ask me questions about it.
[00:13:26] Unknown:
Well,
[00:13:27] Unknown:
quite the dedicated soldier, mister Cannon. Mary, my sweet Colleen, I am not a soldier. And if I was, I wouldn't volunteer to act as a guinea pig for General Grey.
[00:13:37] Unknown:
Now let's, let's talk about use and, I mean, military matters or for military men. I've been entrusted with the task of looking after you. If you don't talk about yourself, how am I to know with your fate or not?
[00:13:51] Unknown:
Yeah. Well, I, I suppose we can get a dinner in this town we're going to. We aren't going to a town, mister Cannon. Oh, a holiday resort then? A country house, nice and secluded.
[00:14:02] Unknown:
Just you and me. Well, there will be other people. You're a VIP, and you're also a security risk.
[00:14:09] Unknown:
Oh, we've got we're going down. Tell me, how come we go to Southern Ireland? And what's on which Southern Ireland? Well, technically, it's a foreign country. They don't usually send hot numbers like me onto foreign soil. The ways of intelligence are sometimes quite strange, mister Cap.
[00:14:23] Unknown:
Pass me a seat belt. Okay. This is it. Out you get.
[00:14:40] Unknown:
Oh, you said secluded. This joins like a cemetery. You'll have fun.
[00:14:52] Unknown:
We must have a special date. Didn't even take time to say goodbye. Perhaps he prefers nothing too. There's the car over there. It's not far to go.
[00:15:09] Unknown:
Say, what's the name of this place, Mary? Does it matter? Well, you whipped me away in the late afternoon, flying me to Ireland in the pitch dark, land me in a field, dump me in a car, and drive off into the depths of the forest. And just so as you can watch me to see if I get sick.
[00:15:23] Unknown:
How security conscious can you get? See those big gates up in front? That's our destination. Well, we could've, we could've walked. I hate you, Well, will you know? Is, is that gate controlled electronically? Yes. That's the real reason we took the car. There's a device on the bonnet that marries to another on the gate. Without that, there's no way of getting in or out of these grounds. Like a calaboose.
[00:15:57] Unknown:
You, you didn't tell me the name of this place, but now I know. That sounded like the Hound of the Baskervilles. Guard dogs. They run loose in the grounds. Wall bathed anyone who tries to get into. Or tries to get out. Are you nervous, mister Cannon? No. No. No. No. It's, it's just the hairs on the back of my neck. They're, they're waving around like a radar antenna. Hey. This is some shack. All it needs is a rampart, and it'd be an Irish castle. Clever of you. It was an Irish castle once. It was the most somber holiday resort I ever saw. How come there are no lights? Rest and relaxation.
You'll find out. At 08:00 at night? Oh, more electronic birds? In you go. You know, I feel like, stretching my legs after that plane, Jenny. I'll I'll just take a turn around the grounds before we go. You can't, I'm afraid. I can't?
[00:16:53] Unknown:
The dogs. Remember? Listen.
[00:17:00] Unknown:
Canine conversation.
[00:17:02] Unknown:
But, if you go with me, I'll be okay. My orders are to deliver you here safe and sound. Once I've done that, we'll talk about a walk around the grounds. I'll hold you to that.
[00:17:12] Unknown:
Well, here we
[00:17:16] Unknown:
go.
[00:17:20] Unknown:
Say, do you mind if I strike a match? I mean, I get depressed in the dark. No need.
[00:17:25] Unknown:
There.
[00:17:26] Unknown:
Come in, mister Kennon. Welcome to our humble aboard.
[00:17:30] Unknown:
Oh, and,
[00:17:31] Unknown:
who are you? You may go, McCulloch. Yes, comrade.
[00:17:34] Unknown:
Comrade?
[00:17:37] Unknown:
Hey. What's cooking, Buster? Come over here and make yourself comfortable. Would you care for a cigarette?
[00:17:46] Unknown:
No. I use my own brand,
[00:17:48] Unknown:
comrade. As you wish. Now I imagine you are interested to know what fate has befallen you. Let's know, maybe.
[00:17:58] Unknown:
You were coming? I have my function and my place in the pattern of things. And I've been kidnapped, is that it? In a nutshell,
[00:18:05] Unknown:
as you would say.
[00:18:06] Unknown:
Why? I'll explain.
[00:18:09] Unknown:
You conducted certain tests today for general Quentin Gray. We were unable to ascertain what those tests were in Woolwich, but we have a contact in the movement's office. In this way, we were able to discover the fact that you are to be sent to Ireland for rest and observation. It was a simple matter to get to your office ahead of the general's aid account. Of course, your destination was Northern Ireland. You are in the South neutral territory.
[00:18:38] Unknown:
Oh, I get it. I tell you all I know about these tests and you let me go home to mama. No tell and you,
[00:18:44] Unknown:
you give me the captured spy routine. Almost right. You will tell us everything about those tests, but you will not go home afterwards. That will be dangerous for us. When you have told us what we wish to know, you will be shot. Oh, well, in that case, you'll go jump in the lake, mister I seek not, mister Kevin. Rather than undergoes a little test I have prepared for you, I think you will talk. If you are stubborn, then I ensure that eventually you will welcome a quick clean bullet. Come right.
[00:19:15] Unknown:
You're you're a rat. Extraordinary.
[00:19:18] Unknown:
You must have second sight. Come with me. I have something to show you. Drop dead. Okay. Go ahead and shoot. That's how I wind up anyway. I would not shoot you kill, mister Cannon. Just a bullet in the knee. And then I drag you with me. You, you think of everything, don't you? It's important that I do. Comes as a panel in this walls that opens onto the cellars. Down here, mister Kennan. You go first.
[00:19:56] Unknown:
Take it. What?
[00:19:59] Unknown:
Get your hands off, mate. Two jailers. You're very strong. It's you resisting.
[00:20:05] Unknown:
If I could just get my hands around your throat for two minutes. It is frustrating,
[00:20:10] Unknown:
isn't it? Tie him to the table. You see the table is equipped with steel bands to hold you down. You are quite helpless and you won't be able to lift a finger. There are two further pieces of equipment. First, this metal mixing bowl and secondly, this cage which contains a little pet.
[00:20:36] Unknown:
A rat.
[00:20:37] Unknown:
You brought your mother comrade. You will be sorry for that mister cannon. However, you notice that my pet is fat and well fed. He's really quite tame. I'll take him out of his cage. There. Now I should place him on your stomach. And so that he can't escape, I invert the mixing bowl over him. So you see there are other straps on the table. They go over the inverted bowl and hold it firmly down. Can you feel him running around on your stomach, mister Cannon? You swine. It tickles, doesn't it? My fat little pet is frightened, but not as frightened as you, mister Cannon.
Soon it will feel the pangs of hunger and must escape from its prison. It cannot know its way out through the steel bowl. So it will take the least line of resistance and eat its way out. Oh, you. Goodbye, Mr. Kenan.
[00:21:48] Unknown:
Cried desperately to divert his thoughts, but to no avail as he sweated under the horror of those tiny feet padding round and round under the bowl. The sharp little claws had worn a hole in his shirt and he gritted his teeth, waiting for the moment when the rat might panic and bury its fangs into his flesh. And then suddenly
[00:22:10] Unknown:
I know how to work, miss Trapps, General. I'll have him feel in a minute. Good girl. Is he all right? Yes, thank heaven. Oh.
[00:22:18] Unknown:
Not a mark on him. Well done, Canon. Look, if this is your idea of a joke, general, sir, help me. I'll wipe you and your army out single handed. No joke, Cannon. But we've worked to do upstairs.
[00:22:28] Unknown:
I'll leave McCullough to give you the detail. Oh, I'm most dreadfully sorry, mister Cannon. I work for General Grey in counterintelligence. The enemy thought I was working for them. We had to find out where they had their base. And you, I'm afraid, were the bait we set in the trap. Bait and trap? An unfortunate choice of words, miss McConnell. The plane that brought us was tracked all the way here. The general was never far away. It's a full bag. We've caught the lot, the whole cell. Cell is another word I never wanna hear again. Oh, I wish there was some way we could make it up to you. Well, come to think of it, there is. What can I do then?
[00:23:02] Unknown:
Come here, and I'll show you.
[00:23:10] Unknown:
Canon continued his holiday in Ireland. I felt he deserved it. I've no idea what he did, but General Grey seemed rather annoyed. It seems miss Mary McCulloch had gone absent without leave.
And I'm I'm not quite sure how to go about getting a civilian to have a suit. I'm one jump ahead of you, rightly. Here you are. Make an appointment for me to see these people at 33 Half Moon Street.
[00:00:22] Unknown:
2 sides to the Shamrock. I received a call from that grand old warrior, sir Quentin Gray of the war office, and listened to him on the phone requesting the services of a male mannequin. At first, I thought it was a leg pull, but the parade square barque on the other end of the line quickly convinced me of his sincerity. He made an appointment to come over and discuss details, and I thought it better if I softened the blow for cannon before the eminent general arrived. Cannon? Well, I I had a rather peculiar request from the War Office, General Sir Quentin Gray.
[00:01:10] Unknown:
Oh, what's he want? Is he for a volunteer for Vietnam? Well, I think it must be a personal matter.
[00:01:16] Unknown:
Well, come to think of it, I don't see how it could possibly be a military task. Well, didn't the general see what he wanted? Yes.
[00:01:22] Unknown:
Well, come on, give. I mean, what are you hedging for, chief? Well, I'm not quite sure how you'll take this, Cameron.
[00:01:29] Unknown:
Well, he, he wishes to engage the services of a male mannequin.
[00:01:35] Unknown:
Come again?
[00:01:36] Unknown:
A mannequin. You know, it's well, it's customary these days for men to show off for latest fashions. There's nothing odd about it. I mean, it's done all the time. Some jacks make, well, quite a professional division. No dice. Now, Callan, you mustn't be here. Chief, I am not modeling clothes for the general or for anybody else. Well, there's nobody else to do it. Carson's away in Ireland and the general says that I'm the wrong bill. Well, that's tough, but I'm no clothes horse for the shaver things to come. I have my reputation to think of. Of. What reputation? Well, I mean, you know All I do know is that if we turn down this job, we've certainly ruined the reputation of assignments unlimited.
[00:02:11] Unknown:
Oh, I get you playing on my loyalty.
[00:02:14] Unknown:
Well, you you could wear a false mustache. Yeah. And a long black beard with smoky glasses. They'd go great with a bikini button. Well, the general said it was a suit. Oh, come on, Cannon. Be a good fellow. I don't like insisting, but well, the fact is I sort of well, I promised the general that we'd take on the job. Look. Why didn't we get a model from one of the agencies? Well, perhaps being an army man, he was embarrassed. He was embarrassed. Oh, look. This must be him now. Come in.
[00:02:42] Unknown:
Yeah. Mason?
[00:02:43] Unknown:
Yes, general. Do come in. Painful.
[00:02:47] Unknown:
Is this the man you've chosen for the model? Well, the yes. Take a seat. In a moment, Painful. Now then what's your name? Cannon. Pitt? You bet. Now look, before you Quiet. I'll do the talking. Is this man trustworthy, Mason? Completely, general. Secrecy is important in this display. I shall require you to sign a document to that effect. Sure. Certainly. All right, Kennon. Take off your shuttle. Hey. Now wait a minute. You will be sorry, young mayor, if you called me to be truttrellent. Have you served any time in the army? Well, sure I have, but We can't have forgotten how to obey orders. I know you're a civilian now, and this is a job for a civilian, but you'll kindly try and remember a little discipline.
Now then take that shirt off. Yes.
[00:03:27] Unknown:
Sir.
[00:03:32] Unknown:
Yes. Good specimen, Mason. Strong chest. Sturdy loins. Right. He'll do. Right. Put your shirt back on. Alright. I'll take that seat now. Tea, gentlemen? No. I wouldn't say no, would it? Missus Summ going spare oh, fine.
[00:03:50] Unknown:
Miss Fareweller, send in a pot of tea, will you? No. No. It's not for mister Canner, and we shall not require daisy cakes. Now please get a move on.
[00:04:02] Unknown:
Now, sir, if we can have the details. Yes. Of course. The display will be at fourteen hundred hours to Morrodd Woolwich. Your man will report to the barracks at thirteen hundred hours to, well, familiarize himself with the suit. I have a past name in my briefcase. He just requires the name to be added. Now he's to talk to no one and report straight to me. I'll inform the guard commander to that effect. I shall require details of his next of kin, if any, and, he must undergo a medical. If he's been in the army, he probably remembers his blood group. Do you? Yes. Us, sir. Yes. In case of accident, his dependents, Evay, will receive the normal army pension of a full corporal. He will, in fact, sign army papers with the recruiting officer.
These papers to be destroyed at the display is a success. It's a formality, we understand, to save trouble afterwards.
[00:04:51] Unknown:
That clear, Mason? Well, yes, general. But, well, what's canon to display? The suit. I thought I made that clear. Well, it seems to me that you're going to a lot of trouble over the modeling of a bit of natty gents.
[00:05:04] Unknown:
Yeah. Well, I should have mentioned that this is a new invention so far untried with a live model that is. Of course, it's a bulletproof suit. Bulletproof? Well, you say, Cannon. I hope so. You'll be subjected to point blank machine gun fire and bombarded with electrons. If all goes well, we'll be back here at seventeen hundred hours. Yes. Well, I think that's all. Goodbye, mister Mason. Good luck, mister Cannon.
[00:05:31] Unknown:
The general didn't even wait for tea, which is probably just as well since Cannon sent it straight back again and ordered whiskey. I couldn't help thinking that Cannon's was a a shattering introduction to the world of modern fashion, but he seemed unperturbed. The following day at 01:00 sharp, he reported to the general.
[00:05:50] Unknown:
Corporal Cannon reporting for duty, sir. Stand EDCannon.
[00:05:54] Unknown:
Have you signed a necessary document? No, sir. No? Why not? Well, I have no next of kin and no dependents. My blood group is o, and the medical officer isn't in the surgery. Yeah. We appear to have picked the perfect man for the job. If there is an accident, we, we can inform this, my take. Yes. That will be in order, sir. Necessary to have someone you know, a value of arrangements and so on. Yes. Well, here's the suit cannon. Try it on. No. Thank you.
[00:06:20] Unknown:
Say,
[00:06:21] Unknown:
this looks like the underskin of a spacesuit. We are not here to ask questions, merely to act as a guinea pig. It's been tested under every conceivable artificial condition. This is the final test.
[00:06:33] Unknown:
I, I guess this will sound like a silly question, general, but, were the artificial tests successful? You don't think we'd put you in it if they went, do you? Well, I, must confess I have my doubts. Okay. Here I go. Yeah.
[00:06:51] Unknown:
Alright. Alright. Now let me see you walking it.
[00:06:56] Unknown:
How does it feel? Well, it feels heavy. Weighs a man down. Soldier wouldn't run far with this on his back. Where this is going, weight doesn't matter.
[00:07:05] Unknown:
Alright. We'll go to the firing yard now. It's normally used by the ordnance people to test repaired weapons. This afternoon, the first test will be several bursts of machine gun fire aimed at your chest, and our tip is out will be in charge. Well, I, sure hope this guy's a good shot because, my head feel like William Tell's apple. Well, you can hardly miss. He'll file point blank range and you need to have no fair ricochets. The suit is designed to take up the force of a bullet like a sponge. Alright. Follow me. Right, Karen. Just stand over there. No. No. No. Away from the wall.
The impact of the shot might knock you off your feet. You don't want to bang your head on the wall. The last thing we want is an accident. Lightly, sir. Alright. Take over the gun Lightly. On my command, you'll fire one burst at Cannon's chest. Yes, sir. Alright. Ready, Cannon?
[00:08:08] Unknown:
Yes, sir.
[00:08:09] Unknown:
Ready, my plan. Ready, sir. M. Power. I killed him, sir. No. No. You haven't. Just knocked him off his feet and knocked the breath out of him. You all right, Kennon? Yep. I
[00:08:28] Unknown:
I guess so, general. Boy, that thing's gotta kick like a mule. Yes. Well, now get the suit off and we'll have a check on you. Well, well, you know, this, this suit really works.
[00:08:38] Unknown:
Against machine gunfire. Yes. The important test is the electrons. We're not quite sure what effect they have on the human body. There's a danger of contamination even with this suit. Of course, if the test is successful, we'll have a major breakthrough. And, if it isn't successful? No. I wouldn't worry about that, Cannon. You won't know anything about it. A dish of char,
[00:09:00] Unknown:
the general's terminology for a cup of tea, and Cannon redone the suit and was once again successfully tested. Rused but happy, he returned to the office at 05:00. The whole operation having been conducted like an army maneuver, which in fact, I suppose it was. Cannon had hardly sat down when the phone rang on the direct line. Assignments unlimited.
[00:09:29] Unknown:
Mason? Oh, yes, general. I am sending you over some travel warrants for your man, Cannon. Did you say travel warrants? Yes. With a place in the North Of Ireland now look. I want Canon to go there for a week to rest up. He'll be on for pay. When he returns, we'll be wanting to undergo certain medical tests. Soon as he leaves in the morning, we don't. Certainly, general. Right. For a fellow vet, we might call on him again. Goodbye. Goodbye.
[00:09:57] Unknown:
General Grey? Yes.
[00:09:59] Unknown:
The old chap's pretty pleased with you. In fact, he's sending you on a week's leave to Ireland. Leave? Hey, what is this? Am I becoming a, a professional guinea pig? No. No. They want you to rest up for a week and then take medical
[00:10:12] Unknown:
tests. Well, I should have been an astronaut. Why an astronaut? Well, that thing I tested wasn't a bulletproof vest. It was a sort of, sort of a space suit. Look, Kennan. You should keep that information to yourself. Oh, I will outside this office. I, I just wanted you to know what gives in case you have to take over where I leave off. This is high science chief, and, you ought to tell that crazy general that the firm might be assignments unlimited, but the operators are certainly not unlimited. Are you getting cold feet? Oh, no. Whoever heard of cold feet in a space suit?
[00:10:43] Unknown:
Oh, now who can that be? Oh, it's probably the travel warrants. Let's quit. I'll give it to you.
[00:10:51] Unknown:
Is this assignments unlimited? That's right. I have some travel documents from general Quentin Gray. Oh, come on in. Just for a moment. There's been a slight change in plan. The general asks if you can leave tonight right away in fact. There's a plane leaving for Ireland in an hour he'd like you to be on it. Well, where the howdy, miss? Security, I suppose. I have a staff car outside. And, why Ireland? Well, the general said they have a place in the North Of Ireland.
[00:11:15] Unknown:
Can you make it, Kevin?
[00:11:16] Unknown:
Well, don't I get a chance to pick up my toothbrush? The army provides everything, Mr. Cannon. Okay. And I thought army life was a bore. Well, let's go. Sit on, chief. I'll send you a Shamluck. Look after yourself, cannon.
[00:11:31] Unknown:
You know you're supposed to be resting.
[00:11:33] Unknown:
Are you coming, baby? Yes. I am. You see what I mean, chief? There's no rest for the wicket.
[00:11:40] Unknown:
Oh, oh, what a day. Space suit. Oh, no wonder Sir Quentin was so adamant about signing that security document. Oh, no. Not again. What is it this time?
[00:11:54] Unknown:
Sign is unlimited. Well, we're closed for the night. I understand that, sir. I'm Lieutenant Lightly, Alderman's officer to, General Grey. Oh, well that's different. Come in Lieutenant. Thank you. It's not to worry you at this time, sir, but I believe the general rang up about Cannon going off to Ireland. Yes, he did. I've got his travel warrants here, sir, for tomorrow. Travel warrants? Well, there's been a change in plan, lieutenant. The journey was switched to, tonight. There must be some mistake, sir. These documents I have here are the only ones that have been issued. I know that because I'm in charge of them. Then who is the girl from your department?
Girl,
[00:12:31] Unknown:
sir. There are no girls on the general staff. Leaving a startled lieutenant Lightly standing papers in hand by my desk, I I rushed into the street after cannon, but I was too late. There was no sign of either him or the young Irish girl. They both disappeared into thin air.
[00:12:55] Unknown:
We'll be youngly soon, mister Cannon. Oh, I haven't asked her. Have you beat Ireland before? Yeah. Most certainly have. The, Dublin scenery is wonderful. Most people prefer the countryside. Yeah. But there are more girls in Dublin. Really, mister Cannon. How'd you feel after your ordeal? Any side effects? No. Not a thing. I, I feel just great. You're a rough mob in Quentin Grey's department.
[00:13:17] Unknown:
What did they do to you? No. It's, it's top secret. Not to me. You forget I worked for the department. Well, then you should know better than to ask me questions about it.
[00:13:26] Unknown:
Well,
[00:13:27] Unknown:
quite the dedicated soldier, mister Cannon. Mary, my sweet Colleen, I am not a soldier. And if I was, I wouldn't volunteer to act as a guinea pig for General Grey.
[00:13:37] Unknown:
Now let's, let's talk about use and, I mean, military matters or for military men. I've been entrusted with the task of looking after you. If you don't talk about yourself, how am I to know with your fate or not?
[00:13:51] Unknown:
Yeah. Well, I, I suppose we can get a dinner in this town we're going to. We aren't going to a town, mister Cannon. Oh, a holiday resort then? A country house, nice and secluded.
[00:14:02] Unknown:
Just you and me. Well, there will be other people. You're a VIP, and you're also a security risk.
[00:14:09] Unknown:
Oh, we've got we're going down. Tell me, how come we go to Southern Ireland? And what's on which Southern Ireland? Well, technically, it's a foreign country. They don't usually send hot numbers like me onto foreign soil. The ways of intelligence are sometimes quite strange, mister Cap.
[00:14:23] Unknown:
Pass me a seat belt. Okay. This is it. Out you get.
[00:14:40] Unknown:
Oh, you said secluded. This joins like a cemetery. You'll have fun.
[00:14:52] Unknown:
We must have a special date. Didn't even take time to say goodbye. Perhaps he prefers nothing too. There's the car over there. It's not far to go.
[00:15:09] Unknown:
Say, what's the name of this place, Mary? Does it matter? Well, you whipped me away in the late afternoon, flying me to Ireland in the pitch dark, land me in a field, dump me in a car, and drive off into the depths of the forest. And just so as you can watch me to see if I get sick.
[00:15:23] Unknown:
How security conscious can you get? See those big gates up in front? That's our destination. Well, we could've, we could've walked. I hate you, Well, will you know? Is, is that gate controlled electronically? Yes. That's the real reason we took the car. There's a device on the bonnet that marries to another on the gate. Without that, there's no way of getting in or out of these grounds. Like a calaboose.
[00:15:57] Unknown:
You, you didn't tell me the name of this place, but now I know. That sounded like the Hound of the Baskervilles. Guard dogs. They run loose in the grounds. Wall bathed anyone who tries to get into. Or tries to get out. Are you nervous, mister Cannon? No. No. No. No. It's, it's just the hairs on the back of my neck. They're, they're waving around like a radar antenna. Hey. This is some shack. All it needs is a rampart, and it'd be an Irish castle. Clever of you. It was an Irish castle once. It was the most somber holiday resort I ever saw. How come there are no lights? Rest and relaxation.
You'll find out. At 08:00 at night? Oh, more electronic birds? In you go. You know, I feel like, stretching my legs after that plane, Jenny. I'll I'll just take a turn around the grounds before we go. You can't, I'm afraid. I can't?
[00:16:53] Unknown:
The dogs. Remember? Listen.
[00:17:00] Unknown:
Canine conversation.
[00:17:02] Unknown:
But, if you go with me, I'll be okay. My orders are to deliver you here safe and sound. Once I've done that, we'll talk about a walk around the grounds. I'll hold you to that.
[00:17:12] Unknown:
Well, here we
[00:17:16] Unknown:
go.
[00:17:20] Unknown:
Say, do you mind if I strike a match? I mean, I get depressed in the dark. No need.
[00:17:25] Unknown:
There.
[00:17:26] Unknown:
Come in, mister Kennon. Welcome to our humble aboard.
[00:17:30] Unknown:
Oh, and,
[00:17:31] Unknown:
who are you? You may go, McCulloch. Yes, comrade.
[00:17:34] Unknown:
Comrade?
[00:17:37] Unknown:
Hey. What's cooking, Buster? Come over here and make yourself comfortable. Would you care for a cigarette?
[00:17:46] Unknown:
No. I use my own brand,
[00:17:48] Unknown:
comrade. As you wish. Now I imagine you are interested to know what fate has befallen you. Let's know, maybe.
[00:17:58] Unknown:
You were coming? I have my function and my place in the pattern of things. And I've been kidnapped, is that it? In a nutshell,
[00:18:05] Unknown:
as you would say.
[00:18:06] Unknown:
Why? I'll explain.
[00:18:09] Unknown:
You conducted certain tests today for general Quentin Gray. We were unable to ascertain what those tests were in Woolwich, but we have a contact in the movement's office. In this way, we were able to discover the fact that you are to be sent to Ireland for rest and observation. It was a simple matter to get to your office ahead of the general's aid account. Of course, your destination was Northern Ireland. You are in the South neutral territory.
[00:18:38] Unknown:
Oh, I get it. I tell you all I know about these tests and you let me go home to mama. No tell and you,
[00:18:44] Unknown:
you give me the captured spy routine. Almost right. You will tell us everything about those tests, but you will not go home afterwards. That will be dangerous for us. When you have told us what we wish to know, you will be shot. Oh, well, in that case, you'll go jump in the lake, mister I seek not, mister Kevin. Rather than undergoes a little test I have prepared for you, I think you will talk. If you are stubborn, then I ensure that eventually you will welcome a quick clean bullet. Come right.
[00:19:15] Unknown:
You're you're a rat. Extraordinary.
[00:19:18] Unknown:
You must have second sight. Come with me. I have something to show you. Drop dead. Okay. Go ahead and shoot. That's how I wind up anyway. I would not shoot you kill, mister Cannon. Just a bullet in the knee. And then I drag you with me. You, you think of everything, don't you? It's important that I do. Comes as a panel in this walls that opens onto the cellars. Down here, mister Kennan. You go first.
[00:19:56] Unknown:
Take it. What?
[00:19:59] Unknown:
Get your hands off, mate. Two jailers. You're very strong. It's you resisting.
[00:20:05] Unknown:
If I could just get my hands around your throat for two minutes. It is frustrating,
[00:20:10] Unknown:
isn't it? Tie him to the table. You see the table is equipped with steel bands to hold you down. You are quite helpless and you won't be able to lift a finger. There are two further pieces of equipment. First, this metal mixing bowl and secondly, this cage which contains a little pet.
[00:20:36] Unknown:
A rat.
[00:20:37] Unknown:
You brought your mother comrade. You will be sorry for that mister cannon. However, you notice that my pet is fat and well fed. He's really quite tame. I'll take him out of his cage. There. Now I should place him on your stomach. And so that he can't escape, I invert the mixing bowl over him. So you see there are other straps on the table. They go over the inverted bowl and hold it firmly down. Can you feel him running around on your stomach, mister Cannon? You swine. It tickles, doesn't it? My fat little pet is frightened, but not as frightened as you, mister Cannon.
Soon it will feel the pangs of hunger and must escape from its prison. It cannot know its way out through the steel bowl. So it will take the least line of resistance and eat its way out. Oh, you. Goodbye, Mr. Kenan.
[00:21:48] Unknown:
Cried desperately to divert his thoughts, but to no avail as he sweated under the horror of those tiny feet padding round and round under the bowl. The sharp little claws had worn a hole in his shirt and he gritted his teeth, waiting for the moment when the rat might panic and bury its fangs into his flesh. And then suddenly
[00:22:10] Unknown:
I know how to work, miss Trapps, General. I'll have him feel in a minute. Good girl. Is he all right? Yes, thank heaven. Oh.
[00:22:18] Unknown:
Not a mark on him. Well done, Canon. Look, if this is your idea of a joke, general, sir, help me. I'll wipe you and your army out single handed. No joke, Cannon. But we've worked to do upstairs.
[00:22:28] Unknown:
I'll leave McCullough to give you the detail. Oh, I'm most dreadfully sorry, mister Cannon. I work for General Grey in counterintelligence. The enemy thought I was working for them. We had to find out where they had their base. And you, I'm afraid, were the bait we set in the trap. Bait and trap? An unfortunate choice of words, miss McConnell. The plane that brought us was tracked all the way here. The general was never far away. It's a full bag. We've caught the lot, the whole cell. Cell is another word I never wanna hear again. Oh, I wish there was some way we could make it up to you. Well, come to think of it, there is. What can I do then?
[00:23:02] Unknown:
Come here, and I'll show you.
[00:23:10] Unknown:
Canon continued his holiday in Ireland. I felt he deserved it. I've no idea what he did, but General Grey seemed rather annoyed. It seems miss Mary McCulloch had gone absent without leave.
