In this intriguing episode, we delve into the mysterious and suspenseful tale of Johanna Weatherby, a woman entangled in a web of deception and danger. Johanna, or Miss Jo, as she is affectionately called by her loyal retainer Benjamin, finds herself in a predicament after a holiday romance with an Englishman, Rodney Fryler Brown, turns sinister. Rodney, a man with a troubled past, is determined to claim Johanna, despite her fabricated story of being married. As Johanna seeks the help of Assignments Unlimited to find a temporary husband to protect her, the plot thickens with unexpected twists and turns.
The story unfolds with the introduction of Marmaduke Bray, a gentleman hired to pose as Johanna's husband, and the arrival of Rodney in England, intent on confronting Johanna's supposed spouse. As tensions rise, the narrative takes a dramatic turn with the involvement of Lester, a young man manipulated by Rodney to prove his manhood through violence. The episode reaches a gripping climax as loyalties are tested and the true nature of friendship and deception is revealed, leaving listeners on the edge of their seats.
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[00:00:01]
Unknown:
Is there tea here or would you prefer it on the terrace, miss Jo? I'll have it here. Thank you, Benjamin. It's a lovely sunny day, miss Jo. Is it? And very pleasant on the terrace.
[00:00:11] Unknown:
You're suddenly terribly solicitors of my welfare, Benjamin. I always have been, miss Jo.
[00:00:16] Unknown:
But these last few days you've been pale and restless. You're wearing a worried frown all the time and, well, that makes me worry about you. Oh, well.
[00:00:27] Unknown:
I may as well admit it since it's impossible to hide anything from you Benjamin. I am worried. It's all because of this communication I've received from the South Of Italy.
[00:00:36] Unknown:
Not that young man you met on holiday, mister.
[00:00:40] Unknown:
Is there nothing the family retainer doesn't know about? Yes. You're right again. Is there something I can do, miss? I don't think so, Benjamin. This is something I must work out for myself. Just a minute though. You might be able to help. Benjamin, I'm looking for a middle aged gentleman whom I wish to employ in a rather unusual capacity. He must be well bred or at least have a veneer of respectability, Ask no questions and be strong physically. Have you any idea where I might find such a man? Well now, Miss Joe, that sounds like rather a tall order.
[00:01:19] Unknown:
But there is a firm who advertise in the newspaper that they undertake unusual assignments. It would be in the personal column, mister O. I'll, I'll look it up for you. I can't remember offhand what they call themselves, but I do remember the address. 33 Half Moon
[00:01:50] Unknown:
Street. Temporary husband. She wished to hire, I felt obliged to ask for more details. It's a rule that assignments are limited, that we never take on any work that might even vaguely run contrary to the law. And her description of the man she wanted was the perfect verbal portrait of a confident trickster. But Miss Weatherby was anxious to put me at my ease.
[00:02:30] Unknown:
'There's nothing even remotely illegal in what I want him to do, Mr Mason. It's just an unusual task, that's all.
[00:02:37] Unknown:
So unusual in fact that I I wanted to discuss it in complete confidence. But if there's a story, miss Weatherby, why not tell it to me from the beginning? I mean, it'll certainly make it easier for me to choose the, well, the, the right sort of operator for you. I'll tell you the story
[00:02:51] Unknown:
but the sort of man I'm looking for is right here in this office. You. However, I I realize that it would be impossible for you to leave your business for so long a period and I may need the services of your your operator as you call him for quite a long time. Well, to begin at the beginning Last year I went to the South Of Italy for a holiday to a fishing village near Taranto. Malfetta is its name. It's old and quaint and picturesque and has the perfect harbour for small craft. I'm a keen sailor, Mr Mason. Malfetta to me is paradise.
Well, was paradise. I met a man there an Englishman, Rodney Fryler Brown. He was recuperating from something or another, and we became very friendly. I taught him the rudiments of sailing so that we spent many hours alone together on the Adriatic Sea. We were well, buddies. But that's all. Buddies. It never occurred to me that he might have gained a different impression. The holiday was nearly over, and Rodney was at the tiller as we brought my dab into the wharf. The old man on the quayside followed us with his accordion as they always do with young tourists. The Italians are quite unashamedly romantic.
Rodney had become quite adept at handling her.
[00:04:18] Unknown:
Starboard a point, Rodney. Starboard it is. I'm dropping the main sheet. Stand by and take her in. Roger.
[00:04:25] Unknown:
Oh, sorry. I eyeballed.
[00:04:31] Unknown:
All clear, Odie.
[00:04:33] Unknown:
Stand by the vault, Peter. Aye, sir.
[00:04:41] Unknown:
I really have passed through the dark painter. What? Old Spartan ship shape. You may step ashore, captain Fraliban.
[00:04:52] Unknown:
Well, how did I do? Just like an old thought, No. You all do. Is that all?
[00:05:00] Unknown:
Since you started from scratch three weeks ago, you've done remarkably well. In fact, I would say that you're at the dangerous stage. Dangerous stage. You know the old saying Robbie. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Well, you're at that stage now. If you think you can sail a dab over the Adriatic Yugoslavia, you better find it.
[00:05:18] Unknown:
I haven't the slightest desire to travel to Yugoslavia under sale or under any kind of pretext. In short, I veto Tito. Oh, the old man appreciates your efforts. He's serenading you. That, my dear Joe, has nothing whatever to do with the mundane business of tying up a sailing boat. The old man is handing us an invitation and he's saying it would use it. Now, let's go on this little bollard and have a
[00:05:45] Unknown:
Capital suggestion. Yeah. Thanks. You were saying?
[00:05:56] Unknown:
Tonight's the night for the Amorraquesta. What's that when it's at home? It's now first go to supper and dance on the seashore. All the young villagers from Malfetta and all the young lads and lasses from the neighbouring farms gather together on the beach brook party and confess their undying love for one another. Naturally, only couples in love are now to attend. The old man is extending an invitation to us.
[00:06:23] Unknown:
It would be unfair to accept an invitation
[00:06:26] Unknown:
for which we're not qualified, Rodney. I qualify. I qualify, Joe. I qualify Abel at Lloyds. How about you, Joe? Do you qualify to
[00:06:37] Unknown:
Music, it stopped. Look, Rodney, the old man's going away. It must be lunchtime and I'm absolutely fine. No, you didn't answer my question, Joan. Rodney, it's been stopped from these past three weeks.
[00:06:50] Unknown:
Don't spoil it. Do I ruin your holiday then because I've fallen in love with you? Oh, you mustn't say that. Why are you doing Jess? I'm deadly serious. Yes. Deadly serious.
[00:07:03] Unknown:
It it can never be about me.
[00:07:05] Unknown:
It's impossible. To fall in love is a natural thing. Oh, no. No. But why, Joe? Why? I
[00:07:12] Unknown:
I'm not afraid to fall in love. There's someone else?
[00:07:15] Unknown:
A fiance? But you're not wearing an engagement ring. Not a boyfriend then. A beau. I did my competition, Joe. I'll compete with him for your love. But I'm I'm
[00:07:26] Unknown:
married, Rodney. Married. I had no idea that you'd think of me in any way except as a friend and sailing companion. I gave him no cause to think. Well,
[00:07:38] Unknown:
to think that I was romantically unattached. You don't want a wedding ring. You're here in Morphetta alone. You're booked into the hotel as Miss Johanna Wetherby. Look, I know because I looked before I introduced myself to you. Where is this husband of yours? We're estranged. Well, you can get your freedom, Joe. You can get your freedom and marry me. I I can't.
[00:07:59] Unknown:
At least it's not as easy as that. We we agreed to a trial separation. Just a trial separation, Rodney. Then we go back together again and perhaps this time we can make a go of it. I see. Now what if you don't make a go of it? Well, this is not the time or the place to speculate on that, is it, Rodney? Perhaps not, Joe.
[00:08:23] Unknown:
I'll wait. But if you don't make a go of it, then I'm coming over to England to claim you, Joe. He he might not let me go. Yes, he will. I'm used to having my own way, Joe. He'll release you
[00:08:36] Unknown:
or I'll kill him. Yes, Joe. I'll kill him.
[00:08:46] Unknown:
There you have it, mister Mason. The more fitter story. It's just a bit saudied, isn't it? Now after all this time, I've received a letter from Rodney Fowler Brown. He's coming to claim you. That's what he says.
[00:09:01] Unknown:
And what does your husband say?
[00:09:04] Unknown:
That's just daytime. I have no husband. The whole story was a fabrication. I I just said the first thing that came to my mind. Oh, he was so persistent and I found myself being a little frightened of him. His eyes he looked at me like like that.
[00:09:25] Unknown:
It it's a bit lame I know. Oh, not really. You were motivated by your own intuition. Oh I am too frequently. You're afraid of this man Rodney Philo Brown aren't you?
[00:09:37] Unknown:
Yes. With justification. Oh. We have a family retainer. Benjamin by name. He used to be our butler but now he's become sort of general factoidian round the house. Everything from Tweeny to Covidant. You know how it is these days? I do. Well, when I got back home I I told mother that what had transpired and she upbraid at me for a nincompoop. I I think secretly your mother's cherished ambition for their daughters to marry into nice society. The name Father Brown coupled with a villain Malfetta must have sounded very nice.
[00:10:10] Unknown:
You know, I I think you're terribly fond of your mother.
[00:10:14] Unknown:
She's a darling but she's shrewd too. This family retainer I was telling you about Benjamin, well she packed him off to find out what he could about Rodney Fowler Brown.
[00:10:24] Unknown:
What was the result?
[00:10:26] Unknown:
He's an ex inmate of a mental home sent to the South Of Italy to recuperate.
[00:10:31] Unknown:
Oh. So your intuition didn't let you down? It came completely up to scratch. Oh, now I'm with you, Miss Wetherby. Farmer Brown is coming to England and well, you think he'll look you up? I know he will.
[00:10:44] Unknown:
Here. Since you're interested in my motives perhaps you'd better read the letter. Thank you.
[00:10:51] Unknown:
Dearest Joe, I refer to the hotel register to find your address in England so it's been my friend twofold. First to show you to me when you first arrived in Morpheda and now to enable me to renew our acquaintance. I trust you enjoyed a pleasant journey home and, whereas, at home in the aeroplane as you are on board ship. I've been moody since you left and have idled my time away thinking about you. The real purpose of this letter is to inform you of my arrival in England in a few days' time. I have no idea how your marital experiment went, but I have decided to talk to your husband and to ask him to give you up.
I think I can persuade him. I am a most persuasive person when forced to be. It's a while since I saw London. Do you mind if I can get a few shows together?
[00:11:38] Unknown:
Love, Rodney Fowler Brown.
[00:11:43] Unknown:
You know, it's it's partly adult and partly childish. When did you say you were on holiday in Marfetta? You noticed it too.
[00:11:50] Unknown:
A year ago. He he writes as though it was last week. I imagine he has periods of melancholy when he doesn't remember anything. Then he takes up the throats again as though the intervening days hadn't been. Oh probably.
[00:12:03] Unknown:
Well as Hornblower would say it's a run situation. What do you think he means by that, that sentence at the end?
[00:12:10] Unknown:
About his being a persuasive person? Yes. That I think is the ominous bit. In the course of his investigations, Benjamin, our our man's servant, discovered that Rodney Farley Brown was put away for an indefinite period after he allegedly tried to strangle a maidservant. I say allegedly because it was never proved. His parents are enviably rich. I understand. A good bank balance opens many doors. In this case the doors of the little institution. Rodney is considered to be quite safe in the South Of Italy but here in London with a bee in his bonnet well, I I'm not so sure. Hence the reason I require the services of a well mannered gentleman who is not averse to you as a little physical persuasion if necessary.
[00:12:56] Unknown:
In short, Miss Weatherby, you need a bodyguard. Oh no, Miss Mason.
[00:13:01] Unknown:
I need a husband or be it a temporary husband.
[00:13:15] Unknown:
Johanna Weatherby had set me quite a problem. A gentleman who was both gentle and a man. I guessed her age to be around 30, plus or minus. And in her social niche, I reasoned that a 40 year old spouse would not be incongruous. So it was that I decided on Marmee. Marmee, you brave to give him his full name. Marmee was a heavy gentleman with a heart of gold. His sergeant at Assignments Unlimited had been brief. The studio's type, he was interested only in the occasional job that might introduce a small measure of excitement as to his usually drab life. Being a temporary husband seemed to please him immensely, even though I had impressed upon him the absolute necessity of behaving like a gentleman.
However, Marmie polished his glasses, propped them on his generous nose and set forth for the domicile of Johanna Weatherby, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Marmaduke Bray was not much to look at, but inside that blue serge store suit rippled muscles of whipcord. Mr Bray was one very tough baby. He walked to the house off Hanover Square and knocked twice on the door. Yes, sir. What do you mean, Benjie? Yes, sir.
[00:14:29] Unknown:
Benjie? But don't you recognize the master of the house? Stand aside, fellow. You look a proper drip in the doorway. You've got an egg stain on your tie. Oh, you must be the man from Assignments Unlimited. I thought we asked for a gentleman, not a comedian.
[00:14:43] Unknown:
Phew. Oh. Mind your manners, Benjy. The petticoat government is over. Oh, yes, sir. Now go and fix me a whiskey and soda and tell missus Bray I'll see her in the drawing room. Missus Bray, sir. Oh, you mistress, you dolt. And shut the door. Oh, yes, sir.
[00:14:58] Unknown:
Now hurry the lawn now. Yes, sir. Extraordinary thing.
[00:15:03] Unknown:
What is it, Benjamin?
[00:15:06] Unknown:
Oh. Oh, are you the man, the, the, Yes, dear. I am.
[00:15:11] Unknown:
What is your name, please? You of all people should know since your name is Mrs. Marmaduke Bray. Did you ever hear of a girl who was married without even seeing her husband? Millions of them all over the Far East. Shall I tell you about them? From Calcutta to the Quang Ho. Oh, later perhaps.
[00:15:29] Unknown:
I'd like to hear about my newly acquired mate first of all. I embody all the qualities demanded of my employer by you. A gentleman? Yes. Thank you. Utterly self reliant.
[00:15:41] Unknown:
Yes. Thank you.
[00:15:43] Unknown:
Physically
[00:15:44] Unknown:
strong. I sense a question in your tone.
[00:15:47] Unknown:
Yes.
[00:15:48] Unknown:
Is that steel poker in the fireplace valuable? Not particularly but it is stale. Then may I borrow it? Now as you perceive the poker is straight. Now
[00:16:03] Unknown:
now it's shaped like a horseshoe. You're whiskey and soda, mister Fraser. Thank you, Benjy. Will that be all, mister Bracer? How about you, my dear? A little sherry perhaps? Nothing. Thank you. Just see that my things are unpacked, will you, Benjie? Yes, sir. Where exactly are you in the main bedroom, Benjie? Yes, sir. I'll see to it at once. Cheers.
[00:16:30] Unknown:
Marmaduke?
[00:16:31] Unknown:
Yes, my dear.
[00:16:32] Unknown:
Tell me about those girls from Calcutta to the Quang Ho.
[00:16:38] Unknown:
Rodney? Rodney? Over here.
[00:16:41] Unknown:
Oh, there you are. Hello, Lester old man. So you got my cable? Yes. But you should be more careful. Luckily, I was the only one at home. If mother had found it, she would have confiscated it. Don't tell me she still treats you like a little boy. If I argue with her, she threatens to send me back. Back to the home. Well, there are worse places than that, Lester. Believe me. I wouldn't want to go back, Rodney. Not if you weren't there. We were back there together, and I wouldn't mind at all. But not by myself, Rodney. I I couldn't stand it. They treat you like a kid too, don't they? Yes. Except when you're around.
You used to look after me, Rodney. Make me feel like a man. That's why I sent you that cable, Lester. I've come all the way from Italy just to see you. Now there's no need to be afraid anymore, Lester. Come on. Let's take a stroll outside and I'll tell you all about it. I'd do anything for you, Rodney. You know that, don't you? All I want you to do is to prove yourself a man. Do that and you'll earn my respect. That's all I ask, Lester. Just prove yourself a man so that your mother can't sneer at you anymore and the warders of the mental home can't treat you like a baby when I'm not there. How does that sound, Lester? Oh, wonderful.
I wish it could be true. I don't know what to do. I don't even know where I should start. How does anyone prove they're a man, Rodney? How does a soldier in a war win his spurs? How does a man on the battlefield win his medals in the respect of his fellow men? He kills Lester. He kills. Yes. Yes. He kills. Would you kill to prove your manhood, Lester? Kill? Yes. Kill to prove to me, to the world that you're a real man. Yes, Rodney. I'd kill. I'd kill. I knew you'd do it for me, Lester. Now listen. Listen very carefully. You're to go home and say nothing to anyone.
I'll telephone you when I'm ready. First I have to pay a call on the man you're going to kill. He lives only a few doors away from you. I must spy out the land and make sure there's been no mistake and that there will be no mistake when the time comes for you to kill Lester. There must be no mistakes. I'll visit our proposed victim, Lester, and look him over. I want to know him quite well before you move in. Now just a little knowledge.
[00:19:03] Unknown:
A little knowledge
[00:19:05] Unknown:
is dangerous. Yes. Dangerous. So it's interesting Benjie. You make a good assignments unlimited operator.
[00:19:22] Unknown:
How did you get all this personal stuff on our nutty friend, Fowler Brown? Well, mister Brace, I used a modicum of subterfuge. You see, I was fortunate in meeting one of the inmates, a younger lad with a persecution complex. It's a normality of the schizophrenic, although that sounds a contradiction in terms, doesn't it? Yes. And I'm in agreement, but get on with the story. Yes. Well, this young man was something of a friend to Fowler Brown, so I made friends with him too. Call her, sir,
[00:19:52] Unknown:
at this hour. Now go and see who it is. And if it's Fowler Brown, show him in. Very good, sir.
[00:20:00] Unknown:
Oh, good evening, sir. Good evening.
[00:20:03] Unknown:
I I'm looking for a lady whom I believe to be in residence here. I'm afraid I don't know her married name. She was, miss Joanna Weatherly.
[00:20:10] Unknown:
Then you must be mister Rodney Fowlabug. Yes. Yes. I am. Has she mentioned me? The master has, sir. Frequently. Please come in. Thank you. This way, sir, if you please.
[00:20:24] Unknown:
Oh, just a moment. I I see you have a telephone in the hall. I have an important phone call to make that I completely forgot about. Seeing the telephone reminded me may I? The master said you were to be shown every courtesies, Alcock. Oh did he now? Good for him. Come on. Yes? Lester. Yes. Is that you, Rodney? It is. Now, Lester.
[00:21:05] Unknown:
Now.
[00:21:09] Unknown:
Thank you. Now, where's
[00:21:13] Unknown:
my lady's husband? Mister Marmadu Vraza. He's in the study. This way. Thank you. Mister Rodney Fowler Brown, sir. Come in, my dear fellow. Come in. Well, will you require anything more of me, sir? No, Benjie. I'll show mister Fowler Brown out. Very good, sir. Good night, sir. Good night, Benjie. Grab a few. Thank you.
[00:21:43] Unknown:
From what our butler said, you've been expecting me, mister, Bray, I think he said. That's right. My wife showed me your letter. Do you consider it presumptuous of me?
[00:21:55] Unknown:
It's unusual
[00:21:56] Unknown:
among Christians to barter women. I don't think you understand, Mr. Bray. Jo was unattached when I met her. She was married to me. That gives me a proprietary right. She mentioned an experimental separation. If it didn't work out, I would ask you for her freedom. It worked out. I would like to hear that from Jo herself. Sorry. You'll just have to take my word. And if I consider your word not good enough Then we shall settle the matter right gently. And what precisely does that mean? I shall punch you on the nose and sling you neck and crop into the street. Would you care for a drink?
Thank you. Scotch. Excuse me. The cocktail cabinet's in the corner.
[00:22:36] Unknown:
What is it now, Benjie? I'm afraid I couldn't stop himself. He must have climbed in through the kitchen window. I was in the main bedroom turning down the counterpane when there he was ramming that pistol in my back. Oh, we had a chat, but he was adamant about coming down here. What does he want? He seems confused about conflicting loyalty. I'm going to be a man. Soon I heard the respect of everyone, even my mother. Why don't you put that thing back in your pocket, sir? Not until I've done what I've came to do.
[00:23:02] Unknown:
And what did you come to do? Kill. There was no need to disarm the young Lester Dodson. Alfred fired the two shots. He threw the gun to the floor. It was Marmie who bent down and picked it up. The two shots had drilled one neat hole in Rodney Fowler Brown's head, and all because at the exact minute Lester entered the main bedroom he found Benjamin turning down the cover. It was Lester who Benjamin had made friends with when he was making his inquiries at the mental home. Lester who thought it was Benjamin that his faithless friend Rodney had sent him to shoot. The insane youth was determined to kill somebody, so he turned his gun on Fowler Brown.
Lester would never shoot a true friend.
Is there tea here or would you prefer it on the terrace, miss Jo? I'll have it here. Thank you, Benjamin. It's a lovely sunny day, miss Jo. Is it? And very pleasant on the terrace.
[00:00:11] Unknown:
You're suddenly terribly solicitors of my welfare, Benjamin. I always have been, miss Jo.
[00:00:16] Unknown:
But these last few days you've been pale and restless. You're wearing a worried frown all the time and, well, that makes me worry about you. Oh, well.
[00:00:27] Unknown:
I may as well admit it since it's impossible to hide anything from you Benjamin. I am worried. It's all because of this communication I've received from the South Of Italy.
[00:00:36] Unknown:
Not that young man you met on holiday, mister.
[00:00:40] Unknown:
Is there nothing the family retainer doesn't know about? Yes. You're right again. Is there something I can do, miss? I don't think so, Benjamin. This is something I must work out for myself. Just a minute though. You might be able to help. Benjamin, I'm looking for a middle aged gentleman whom I wish to employ in a rather unusual capacity. He must be well bred or at least have a veneer of respectability, Ask no questions and be strong physically. Have you any idea where I might find such a man? Well now, Miss Joe, that sounds like rather a tall order.
[00:01:19] Unknown:
But there is a firm who advertise in the newspaper that they undertake unusual assignments. It would be in the personal column, mister O. I'll, I'll look it up for you. I can't remember offhand what they call themselves, but I do remember the address. 33 Half Moon
[00:01:50] Unknown:
Street. Temporary husband. She wished to hire, I felt obliged to ask for more details. It's a rule that assignments are limited, that we never take on any work that might even vaguely run contrary to the law. And her description of the man she wanted was the perfect verbal portrait of a confident trickster. But Miss Weatherby was anxious to put me at my ease.
[00:02:30] Unknown:
'There's nothing even remotely illegal in what I want him to do, Mr Mason. It's just an unusual task, that's all.
[00:02:37] Unknown:
So unusual in fact that I I wanted to discuss it in complete confidence. But if there's a story, miss Weatherby, why not tell it to me from the beginning? I mean, it'll certainly make it easier for me to choose the, well, the, the right sort of operator for you. I'll tell you the story
[00:02:51] Unknown:
but the sort of man I'm looking for is right here in this office. You. However, I I realize that it would be impossible for you to leave your business for so long a period and I may need the services of your your operator as you call him for quite a long time. Well, to begin at the beginning Last year I went to the South Of Italy for a holiday to a fishing village near Taranto. Malfetta is its name. It's old and quaint and picturesque and has the perfect harbour for small craft. I'm a keen sailor, Mr Mason. Malfetta to me is paradise.
Well, was paradise. I met a man there an Englishman, Rodney Fryler Brown. He was recuperating from something or another, and we became very friendly. I taught him the rudiments of sailing so that we spent many hours alone together on the Adriatic Sea. We were well, buddies. But that's all. Buddies. It never occurred to me that he might have gained a different impression. The holiday was nearly over, and Rodney was at the tiller as we brought my dab into the wharf. The old man on the quayside followed us with his accordion as they always do with young tourists. The Italians are quite unashamedly romantic.
Rodney had become quite adept at handling her.
[00:04:18] Unknown:
Starboard a point, Rodney. Starboard it is. I'm dropping the main sheet. Stand by and take her in. Roger.
[00:04:25] Unknown:
Oh, sorry. I eyeballed.
[00:04:31] Unknown:
All clear, Odie.
[00:04:33] Unknown:
Stand by the vault, Peter. Aye, sir.
[00:04:41] Unknown:
I really have passed through the dark painter. What? Old Spartan ship shape. You may step ashore, captain Fraliban.
[00:04:52] Unknown:
Well, how did I do? Just like an old thought, No. You all do. Is that all?
[00:05:00] Unknown:
Since you started from scratch three weeks ago, you've done remarkably well. In fact, I would say that you're at the dangerous stage. Dangerous stage. You know the old saying Robbie. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Well, you're at that stage now. If you think you can sail a dab over the Adriatic Yugoslavia, you better find it.
[00:05:18] Unknown:
I haven't the slightest desire to travel to Yugoslavia under sale or under any kind of pretext. In short, I veto Tito. Oh, the old man appreciates your efforts. He's serenading you. That, my dear Joe, has nothing whatever to do with the mundane business of tying up a sailing boat. The old man is handing us an invitation and he's saying it would use it. Now, let's go on this little bollard and have a
[00:05:45] Unknown:
Capital suggestion. Yeah. Thanks. You were saying?
[00:05:56] Unknown:
Tonight's the night for the Amorraquesta. What's that when it's at home? It's now first go to supper and dance on the seashore. All the young villagers from Malfetta and all the young lads and lasses from the neighbouring farms gather together on the beach brook party and confess their undying love for one another. Naturally, only couples in love are now to attend. The old man is extending an invitation to us.
[00:06:23] Unknown:
It would be unfair to accept an invitation
[00:06:26] Unknown:
for which we're not qualified, Rodney. I qualify. I qualify, Joe. I qualify Abel at Lloyds. How about you, Joe? Do you qualify to
[00:06:37] Unknown:
Music, it stopped. Look, Rodney, the old man's going away. It must be lunchtime and I'm absolutely fine. No, you didn't answer my question, Joan. Rodney, it's been stopped from these past three weeks.
[00:06:50] Unknown:
Don't spoil it. Do I ruin your holiday then because I've fallen in love with you? Oh, you mustn't say that. Why are you doing Jess? I'm deadly serious. Yes. Deadly serious.
[00:07:03] Unknown:
It it can never be about me.
[00:07:05] Unknown:
It's impossible. To fall in love is a natural thing. Oh, no. No. But why, Joe? Why? I
[00:07:12] Unknown:
I'm not afraid to fall in love. There's someone else?
[00:07:15] Unknown:
A fiance? But you're not wearing an engagement ring. Not a boyfriend then. A beau. I did my competition, Joe. I'll compete with him for your love. But I'm I'm
[00:07:26] Unknown:
married, Rodney. Married. I had no idea that you'd think of me in any way except as a friend and sailing companion. I gave him no cause to think. Well,
[00:07:38] Unknown:
to think that I was romantically unattached. You don't want a wedding ring. You're here in Morphetta alone. You're booked into the hotel as Miss Johanna Wetherby. Look, I know because I looked before I introduced myself to you. Where is this husband of yours? We're estranged. Well, you can get your freedom, Joe. You can get your freedom and marry me. I I can't.
[00:07:59] Unknown:
At least it's not as easy as that. We we agreed to a trial separation. Just a trial separation, Rodney. Then we go back together again and perhaps this time we can make a go of it. I see. Now what if you don't make a go of it? Well, this is not the time or the place to speculate on that, is it, Rodney? Perhaps not, Joe.
[00:08:23] Unknown:
I'll wait. But if you don't make a go of it, then I'm coming over to England to claim you, Joe. He he might not let me go. Yes, he will. I'm used to having my own way, Joe. He'll release you
[00:08:36] Unknown:
or I'll kill him. Yes, Joe. I'll kill him.
[00:08:46] Unknown:
There you have it, mister Mason. The more fitter story. It's just a bit saudied, isn't it? Now after all this time, I've received a letter from Rodney Fowler Brown. He's coming to claim you. That's what he says.
[00:09:01] Unknown:
And what does your husband say?
[00:09:04] Unknown:
That's just daytime. I have no husband. The whole story was a fabrication. I I just said the first thing that came to my mind. Oh, he was so persistent and I found myself being a little frightened of him. His eyes he looked at me like like that.
[00:09:25] Unknown:
It it's a bit lame I know. Oh, not really. You were motivated by your own intuition. Oh I am too frequently. You're afraid of this man Rodney Philo Brown aren't you?
[00:09:37] Unknown:
Yes. With justification. Oh. We have a family retainer. Benjamin by name. He used to be our butler but now he's become sort of general factoidian round the house. Everything from Tweeny to Covidant. You know how it is these days? I do. Well, when I got back home I I told mother that what had transpired and she upbraid at me for a nincompoop. I I think secretly your mother's cherished ambition for their daughters to marry into nice society. The name Father Brown coupled with a villain Malfetta must have sounded very nice.
[00:10:10] Unknown:
You know, I I think you're terribly fond of your mother.
[00:10:14] Unknown:
She's a darling but she's shrewd too. This family retainer I was telling you about Benjamin, well she packed him off to find out what he could about Rodney Fowler Brown.
[00:10:24] Unknown:
What was the result?
[00:10:26] Unknown:
He's an ex inmate of a mental home sent to the South Of Italy to recuperate.
[00:10:31] Unknown:
Oh. So your intuition didn't let you down? It came completely up to scratch. Oh, now I'm with you, Miss Wetherby. Farmer Brown is coming to England and well, you think he'll look you up? I know he will.
[00:10:44] Unknown:
Here. Since you're interested in my motives perhaps you'd better read the letter. Thank you.
[00:10:51] Unknown:
Dearest Joe, I refer to the hotel register to find your address in England so it's been my friend twofold. First to show you to me when you first arrived in Morpheda and now to enable me to renew our acquaintance. I trust you enjoyed a pleasant journey home and, whereas, at home in the aeroplane as you are on board ship. I've been moody since you left and have idled my time away thinking about you. The real purpose of this letter is to inform you of my arrival in England in a few days' time. I have no idea how your marital experiment went, but I have decided to talk to your husband and to ask him to give you up.
I think I can persuade him. I am a most persuasive person when forced to be. It's a while since I saw London. Do you mind if I can get a few shows together?
[00:11:38] Unknown:
Love, Rodney Fowler Brown.
[00:11:43] Unknown:
You know, it's it's partly adult and partly childish. When did you say you were on holiday in Marfetta? You noticed it too.
[00:11:50] Unknown:
A year ago. He he writes as though it was last week. I imagine he has periods of melancholy when he doesn't remember anything. Then he takes up the throats again as though the intervening days hadn't been. Oh probably.
[00:12:03] Unknown:
Well as Hornblower would say it's a run situation. What do you think he means by that, that sentence at the end?
[00:12:10] Unknown:
About his being a persuasive person? Yes. That I think is the ominous bit. In the course of his investigations, Benjamin, our our man's servant, discovered that Rodney Farley Brown was put away for an indefinite period after he allegedly tried to strangle a maidservant. I say allegedly because it was never proved. His parents are enviably rich. I understand. A good bank balance opens many doors. In this case the doors of the little institution. Rodney is considered to be quite safe in the South Of Italy but here in London with a bee in his bonnet well, I I'm not so sure. Hence the reason I require the services of a well mannered gentleman who is not averse to you as a little physical persuasion if necessary.
[00:12:56] Unknown:
In short, Miss Weatherby, you need a bodyguard. Oh no, Miss Mason.
[00:13:01] Unknown:
I need a husband or be it a temporary husband.
[00:13:15] Unknown:
Johanna Weatherby had set me quite a problem. A gentleman who was both gentle and a man. I guessed her age to be around 30, plus or minus. And in her social niche, I reasoned that a 40 year old spouse would not be incongruous. So it was that I decided on Marmee. Marmee, you brave to give him his full name. Marmee was a heavy gentleman with a heart of gold. His sergeant at Assignments Unlimited had been brief. The studio's type, he was interested only in the occasional job that might introduce a small measure of excitement as to his usually drab life. Being a temporary husband seemed to please him immensely, even though I had impressed upon him the absolute necessity of behaving like a gentleman.
However, Marmie polished his glasses, propped them on his generous nose and set forth for the domicile of Johanna Weatherby, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Marmaduke Bray was not much to look at, but inside that blue serge store suit rippled muscles of whipcord. Mr Bray was one very tough baby. He walked to the house off Hanover Square and knocked twice on the door. Yes, sir. What do you mean, Benjie? Yes, sir.
[00:14:29] Unknown:
Benjie? But don't you recognize the master of the house? Stand aside, fellow. You look a proper drip in the doorway. You've got an egg stain on your tie. Oh, you must be the man from Assignments Unlimited. I thought we asked for a gentleman, not a comedian.
[00:14:43] Unknown:
Phew. Oh. Mind your manners, Benjy. The petticoat government is over. Oh, yes, sir. Now go and fix me a whiskey and soda and tell missus Bray I'll see her in the drawing room. Missus Bray, sir. Oh, you mistress, you dolt. And shut the door. Oh, yes, sir.
[00:14:58] Unknown:
Now hurry the lawn now. Yes, sir. Extraordinary thing.
[00:15:03] Unknown:
What is it, Benjamin?
[00:15:06] Unknown:
Oh. Oh, are you the man, the, the, Yes, dear. I am.
[00:15:11] Unknown:
What is your name, please? You of all people should know since your name is Mrs. Marmaduke Bray. Did you ever hear of a girl who was married without even seeing her husband? Millions of them all over the Far East. Shall I tell you about them? From Calcutta to the Quang Ho. Oh, later perhaps.
[00:15:29] Unknown:
I'd like to hear about my newly acquired mate first of all. I embody all the qualities demanded of my employer by you. A gentleman? Yes. Thank you. Utterly self reliant.
[00:15:41] Unknown:
Yes. Thank you.
[00:15:43] Unknown:
Physically
[00:15:44] Unknown:
strong. I sense a question in your tone.
[00:15:47] Unknown:
Yes.
[00:15:48] Unknown:
Is that steel poker in the fireplace valuable? Not particularly but it is stale. Then may I borrow it? Now as you perceive the poker is straight. Now
[00:16:03] Unknown:
now it's shaped like a horseshoe. You're whiskey and soda, mister Fraser. Thank you, Benjy. Will that be all, mister Bracer? How about you, my dear? A little sherry perhaps? Nothing. Thank you. Just see that my things are unpacked, will you, Benjie? Yes, sir. Where exactly are you in the main bedroom, Benjie? Yes, sir. I'll see to it at once. Cheers.
[00:16:30] Unknown:
Marmaduke?
[00:16:31] Unknown:
Yes, my dear.
[00:16:32] Unknown:
Tell me about those girls from Calcutta to the Quang Ho.
[00:16:38] Unknown:
Rodney? Rodney? Over here.
[00:16:41] Unknown:
Oh, there you are. Hello, Lester old man. So you got my cable? Yes. But you should be more careful. Luckily, I was the only one at home. If mother had found it, she would have confiscated it. Don't tell me she still treats you like a little boy. If I argue with her, she threatens to send me back. Back to the home. Well, there are worse places than that, Lester. Believe me. I wouldn't want to go back, Rodney. Not if you weren't there. We were back there together, and I wouldn't mind at all. But not by myself, Rodney. I I couldn't stand it. They treat you like a kid too, don't they? Yes. Except when you're around.
You used to look after me, Rodney. Make me feel like a man. That's why I sent you that cable, Lester. I've come all the way from Italy just to see you. Now there's no need to be afraid anymore, Lester. Come on. Let's take a stroll outside and I'll tell you all about it. I'd do anything for you, Rodney. You know that, don't you? All I want you to do is to prove yourself a man. Do that and you'll earn my respect. That's all I ask, Lester. Just prove yourself a man so that your mother can't sneer at you anymore and the warders of the mental home can't treat you like a baby when I'm not there. How does that sound, Lester? Oh, wonderful.
I wish it could be true. I don't know what to do. I don't even know where I should start. How does anyone prove they're a man, Rodney? How does a soldier in a war win his spurs? How does a man on the battlefield win his medals in the respect of his fellow men? He kills Lester. He kills. Yes. Yes. He kills. Would you kill to prove your manhood, Lester? Kill? Yes. Kill to prove to me, to the world that you're a real man. Yes, Rodney. I'd kill. I'd kill. I knew you'd do it for me, Lester. Now listen. Listen very carefully. You're to go home and say nothing to anyone.
I'll telephone you when I'm ready. First I have to pay a call on the man you're going to kill. He lives only a few doors away from you. I must spy out the land and make sure there's been no mistake and that there will be no mistake when the time comes for you to kill Lester. There must be no mistakes. I'll visit our proposed victim, Lester, and look him over. I want to know him quite well before you move in. Now just a little knowledge.
[00:19:03] Unknown:
A little knowledge
[00:19:05] Unknown:
is dangerous. Yes. Dangerous. So it's interesting Benjie. You make a good assignments unlimited operator.
[00:19:22] Unknown:
How did you get all this personal stuff on our nutty friend, Fowler Brown? Well, mister Brace, I used a modicum of subterfuge. You see, I was fortunate in meeting one of the inmates, a younger lad with a persecution complex. It's a normality of the schizophrenic, although that sounds a contradiction in terms, doesn't it? Yes. And I'm in agreement, but get on with the story. Yes. Well, this young man was something of a friend to Fowler Brown, so I made friends with him too. Call her, sir,
[00:19:52] Unknown:
at this hour. Now go and see who it is. And if it's Fowler Brown, show him in. Very good, sir.
[00:20:00] Unknown:
Oh, good evening, sir. Good evening.
[00:20:03] Unknown:
I I'm looking for a lady whom I believe to be in residence here. I'm afraid I don't know her married name. She was, miss Joanna Weatherly.
[00:20:10] Unknown:
Then you must be mister Rodney Fowlabug. Yes. Yes. I am. Has she mentioned me? The master has, sir. Frequently. Please come in. Thank you. This way, sir, if you please.
[00:20:24] Unknown:
Oh, just a moment. I I see you have a telephone in the hall. I have an important phone call to make that I completely forgot about. Seeing the telephone reminded me may I? The master said you were to be shown every courtesies, Alcock. Oh did he now? Good for him. Come on. Yes? Lester. Yes. Is that you, Rodney? It is. Now, Lester.
[00:21:05] Unknown:
Now.
[00:21:09] Unknown:
Thank you. Now, where's
[00:21:13] Unknown:
my lady's husband? Mister Marmadu Vraza. He's in the study. This way. Thank you. Mister Rodney Fowler Brown, sir. Come in, my dear fellow. Come in. Well, will you require anything more of me, sir? No, Benjie. I'll show mister Fowler Brown out. Very good, sir. Good night, sir. Good night, Benjie. Grab a few. Thank you.
[00:21:43] Unknown:
From what our butler said, you've been expecting me, mister, Bray, I think he said. That's right. My wife showed me your letter. Do you consider it presumptuous of me?
[00:21:55] Unknown:
It's unusual
[00:21:56] Unknown:
among Christians to barter women. I don't think you understand, Mr. Bray. Jo was unattached when I met her. She was married to me. That gives me a proprietary right. She mentioned an experimental separation. If it didn't work out, I would ask you for her freedom. It worked out. I would like to hear that from Jo herself. Sorry. You'll just have to take my word. And if I consider your word not good enough Then we shall settle the matter right gently. And what precisely does that mean? I shall punch you on the nose and sling you neck and crop into the street. Would you care for a drink?
Thank you. Scotch. Excuse me. The cocktail cabinet's in the corner.
[00:22:36] Unknown:
What is it now, Benjie? I'm afraid I couldn't stop himself. He must have climbed in through the kitchen window. I was in the main bedroom turning down the counterpane when there he was ramming that pistol in my back. Oh, we had a chat, but he was adamant about coming down here. What does he want? He seems confused about conflicting loyalty. I'm going to be a man. Soon I heard the respect of everyone, even my mother. Why don't you put that thing back in your pocket, sir? Not until I've done what I've came to do.
[00:23:02] Unknown:
And what did you come to do? Kill. There was no need to disarm the young Lester Dodson. Alfred fired the two shots. He threw the gun to the floor. It was Marmie who bent down and picked it up. The two shots had drilled one neat hole in Rodney Fowler Brown's head, and all because at the exact minute Lester entered the main bedroom he found Benjamin turning down the cover. It was Lester who Benjamin had made friends with when he was making his inquiries at the mental home. Lester who thought it was Benjamin that his faithless friend Rodney had sent him to shoot. The insane youth was determined to kill somebody, so he turned his gun on Fowler Brown.
Lester would never shoot a true friend.
Jo's Worries and a Mysterious Task
The Unusual Assignment
A Holiday in Italy and a Complicated Friendship
The Truth About Jo's Marital Status
The Temporary Husband
Rodney's Return and a Sinister Plan
The Confrontation and a Deadly Mistake
