In this thrilling episode, we delve into the world of boxing and mystery as we follow the story of Aubrey Mason and his team at Assignments Unlimited. The narrative unfolds with a peculiar discovery under a boxing ring after a major fight, leading to a series of unexpected events. As the team navigates through the intrigue surrounding a severed ear found at the scene, they uncover the complex lives of twin brothers, Sammy and Nigel Bart, both deeply entrenched in the boxing world. The episode explores themes of identity, deception, and the lengths one might go to protect family, culminating in a dramatic revelation that challenges perceptions of truth and loyalty.
Listeners are taken on a journey through the gritty underbelly of the boxing scene, where the stakes are high and the outcomes unpredictable. The episode is rich with character development, particularly focusing on the enigmatic Nigel Bart, who steps into the ring under the guise of his troubled brother. As the story unfolds, the tension builds, leading to a poignant conclusion that leaves the audience reflecting on the nature of sacrifice and the personal battles fought outside the public eye. This episode is a compelling blend of sports drama and mystery, offering a unique glimpse into the lives of those who live in the shadow of the spotlight.
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[00:00:01]
Unknown:
From taco night in Tulum to sushi in Tokyo, every bite is rewarding and pulse worthy with MX Gold's four times membership rewards points at restaurants worldwide. Wherever you dine, points are piling up. So bring your friends along for your next course because it's not all about the posts. It's about the company and the memories. How can gold from Amex sweeten your next food moment? Learn more at AmericanExpress.com/explore-gold. Terms and points cap apply.
[00:00:34] Unknown:
Well, you gotta admit the boys' game. You won't lost the granddad. This Jamaican boy is on his nails. Punch like the kick of
[00:00:45] Unknown:
a mule.
[00:00:50] Unknown:
There were not Teddy. The referee stopped the fight while it was there. Crazy crowd, the English. Always shout for the underdogs.
[00:00:57] Unknown:
But I bet it'll be different next week for the empire title, boss. If there is an empire title. And what do you mean by that? Staff troubles.
[00:01:04] Unknown:
There's an LCC ruling at Earl's Courtland. The whole area must be cleaned up right after the meeting. I don't know how we managed tonight, but it'll open next week. You,
[00:01:13] Unknown:
you short of staff, mister Moore? Oh, desperate. Then I'll be answer to a maiden's prayer. Ring up Groverner five double nine five. That's the phone number of Assignments Unlimited at 33 Half Moon Street. Aubrey Mason at your service.
[00:01:25] Unknown:
At assignments unlimited, we do anything, anywhere, at any time. 33 Half Moon Street. Canon is really a quiet sort of chap with a plebeian taste for football, boxing and Wild West pictures. He's rugged, of course, which is just as well because canon has an unfortunate habit of attracting trouble. It's never intentional. He explains it by saying he has a mesmeric metabolism that attracts the seamy side of life. Certainly, mister Moore gave no indication of what was to come when I interviewed him on the Earl's Court job. Cleaners are after the big fight next week, mister Moore.
[00:02:21] Unknown:
And I'm not sure that we could supply the number of workers you'd need for that. Oh, it's not the actual sweepers, mister Mason. We can get them from the labor exchange. You see, they're mostly West Indians and work well enough if properly supervised. Mister Cannon told me that you might be able to supply two or three men to act in a supervisory capacity with the work. Oh, yes. That we can do easily.
[00:02:40] Unknown:
I'll put two of my most reliable men on the job. We'll do that. One of them be Mr. Cannon? Oh, without doubt. He'll be delighted at the opportunity of watching the big fight free of charge. May I send you a couple of complimentary tickets, Mr. Mason? For Friday night? No, it's kind of you, Mr. Moore, but, well, I must decline, unfortunately. Oh, not interested in professional boxing? Oh, it's not that, actually. It just so happens that this Friday night, my club's having its own championship match. I'm an active participant. You're a boxer? No, mister Moore. Not nearly so romantic.
It is a chess championship. Check. Oh, well, I think you'll find the men I send to be reliable, mister Moore. And I wish you a successful Friday evening. As you, mister Cannon, would say, this Empire title fight will be a knockout.
[00:03:38] Unknown:
Hi. Any objections if I park in the booth here for the fight? Well, that depends. Are you an American? New York. You? Milwaukee.
[00:03:45] Unknown:
Well, regulation state only members of the staff are allowed in here. Well, then I guess it's okay. Cannon's the name, boss of the cleaning team. Come right on in, Cannon. I'm Leslie Van, National Broadcasting Corporation.
[00:03:55] Unknown:
Well, what do you know? You,
[00:03:58] Unknown:
you're making the fight commentary? That's right. The New York border control recognizes this empire fight as a world eliminator, hence the broadcast of The States. I know if you sit quietly in the corner, nobody's gonna say a word, but I said quietly and no bad words. Oh, my old man, he sent me to Sunday school every week.
[00:04:14] Unknown:
Standby, mister Benny. You're hooked up in ten seconds from now.
[00:04:20] Unknown:
Here we go. Give me full sound and number four, Booth. Good afternoon to all listeners on the NBC hookup. This is Leslie Ben. We're floating from the Oldsport Stadium in London, England, where the time is 09:30PM. And the contenders for the British empire cruiserweight title are limbering up in their respective corners. Awaiting the gong for the first round, it'll set them in combat and decide who will have a tilt of the World Cruiserweight crown in Toledo in December. Both fighters are in good shape for the contest, and there's not a pound difference in weight between them. The champion, Ned Riley, with his colored shirts and blazing with the green shamrock of Ireland and the challenger, Sammy Bart, the decking a more somber of black. The colors are symbolic. It'll be a red letter day for the winner and a black Friday for the loser. I expect a good fight since both boys have everything to gain by a win here in London, England. Some of you keen followers of the fight game will remember three years back when Nigel Bart, twin brother of Sammy, who's in the ring now, fought in The States. A large in a charge ended Nigel's career, but his twin brother has stepped right into his shoes to challenge the champion tonight.
And there goes the bell for the first round. They meet in the center of the ring, both fighters summing each other up. Riley has a three day crop of whiskers on his chin and a smile on his face. That's cool, imperturbable, and large rosy tin ear as a hallmark of his profession on an otherwise unmarked face. Riley leads with the left, but brushes to the side, side steps neatly as he turns that great cauliflower here, stands up like the plume helm of Navarre. And suddenly the temple's changed. Art comes slamming in all your pressure right to left, a left, another left, and a mighty chopping right that's got Riley reeling in the car's one dessert. Oh, this is a semi part we've never seen before. He comes in again and slams home that left and a right and another left and a right that shuts down right like a mean x. He's done right and down. West running.
Three, four. Well, he's up at four, but boy, his face looks like he's drive head first into a cement mixer. And Riley's down again, and he's down again. All across Wayne Wyler. We have a fierce turn and he could touch your top puzzle out of it. Two, four, five. The champion's game, he wants to get up with the rest insisting on a compulsory kind of eight after the second knockout. And he's up, swaying on his feet as the challenger comes, storming in, and it's a left and a left, and overcomes that right to chop down the champ. He's down. Riley's down, and he's is here to watch this fight tonight, and it's not going to be a buggy ride when he meets Sammy Bart in December. Sammy Bart, the new cruiserweight champion. Check. Your rook, sir Thomas. I think you've got me, Mason. Check and mate. Thank you, sir Thomas.
[00:07:07] Unknown:
I don't know how you do it, Mason. You're a fighter. Alright? Oh, it's the bulldog spirit, sir.
[00:07:13] Unknown:
Excuse me, sir. Is the game concluded? Yes, Crowley. Another chess championship out of the way until next year. May I inquire who won, sir Thomas? You may indeed, Crawley. Mister Mason, undefeatable, the most rugged fighter in the kingdom. Then you will be able to answer the telephone, mister Mason. Telephone? What at this hour? Who is it? American intonation in the voice, mister Mason. Oh, I know who it is, Crowley. Shall I plug in the extension, mister If you will. Well, I think this calls for a celebration. A bottle of port. Any dissenters that we are in a capital. Well, let's leave Mason to his telephone conversation and appoint Crawley Potman. Thank you.
[00:07:58] Unknown:
Hello?
[00:08:00] Unknown:
Oh, is that you, Cameron? Hello to you all. This is hot news straight from the cannon's mouth. Cannon, are you drunk? No. Quite sober, chief. I have watched a big fight from a broadcasting booth and seen the great Leslie Benn in action. Oh, good show. Did he win? I mean, this Leslie Benn? No. No. No. Leslie Benn was the commentator. The protagonists were Ned Riley and Sammy Bart. Bart won and our jobs completed. Already?
[00:08:22] Unknown:
But I thought you wouldn't be through until one in the morning. Well, the fight lasted one minute. Sixty seconds. What a challenge and what a champion. Cannon, look. If ever we get a job calling for a boxing commentator, our seat's passed on to you. But right now, we have a little celebration going on in the club. So if you don't Hey. That's right. I forgot. You were playing in the chess championship tonight. How did it go, chief? Extremely well. Thank you, Cameron. No. What I mean is who won? Well, I did, actually. Now I must say No. No. Hang hang on, chief. Look. I gotta see you tonight. Trouble? Maybe. Well, what is it?
[00:08:54] Unknown:
Well, one of the, Jamaican cleaners found a small parcel wrapped in brown paper under the ring in Sammy Bart's corner. It's addressed to Bart. Well, then why don't you give it to him? There's a stain in one corner where something has seeped through. Yes? You guessed it, chief. It's blood.
[00:09:17] Unknown:
Alright, Cannon. Dump it on the table. You see, you found it under the ring by this, Sammy Bart's corner. Or strictly speaking, chief, one of the Jamaican cleaners found it. And he handed it to you? That's right.
[00:09:29] Unknown:
Are they reliable, these Jamaicans? Well, if you mean honest, yes. As anybody's honest who works as general, they're superstitious too. This guy Bart wasn't expected to win, and yet he sailed through the champion like a maniac with a parlax. So I told the Jamaican that was probably voodoo. Oh, what an ass did you do that for? Mister Moore promised me a personal bonus if I got the place clean before midnight. When they heard about the voodoo, they had that joint as clean as a widow's parlor in half an hour flat. Cannon, you're incorrigible. And not only that, I got bad habits.
Well, what do we do, chief? Open or deliver? Well, it might simply be meat. A pound of steak in case you got a black eye.
[00:10:07] Unknown:
I wonder what he what he was doing under the ring like that. Well, if I could offer my professional advice as a garbage expert,
[00:10:14] Unknown:
that entire arena was knee deep in empty popcorn packets, torn up tickets, newspapers for the fish and chips. And the whole place, only one small square was free of garbage under the ring. So when the scaffold company took the ring away, it was impossible to miss seeing the package. That rather looks as it was put there purposely. Well, you've gotta be very short sighted to mistake a boxing ring for a mailbox.
[00:10:39] Unknown:
Well, it's carefully wrapped and neatly taped. You know, it's our duty to hand this straight over to mister Moore. Well, supposing,
[00:10:46] Unknown:
I opened it very carefully, you know, so as I could wrap it up again very carefully. Well, that might be dangerous. No. It can't be a time bomb. Gunpowder is black. Oh, alright. But if he turns out to be a pound of liver, I'll have your blood. Okay. Here we go. Wow. Maybe it was a voodoo after all. Cannon.
[00:11:10] Unknown:
That's an ear. A human ear. Cannon just sat and stared at it, his hand gently stroking his own generous lobe. And then it occurred to me that this was a very large ear severed sharply but crudely from its owner's head. What could it mean? I glanced inquiringly at Canon. Well, that's new. Maybe a day old. Yes. I was thinking the same thing. Well, who could he belong to?
[00:11:58] Unknown:
Didn't search me. Maybe we got a modern van Gogh running loose in London. Van Gogh was an artist.
[00:12:05] Unknown:
Anyway, he cut off his ear to send to his lady love. Well, could be in reverse. A lot of these dames go dizzy over prize fighters. A girl's ear. Look at the size of it. Well, somebody's ears were burning last night for sure. Another facetious remark like that from you and I'll put a fee on your ear. Okay, chief. Okay. Now look, my mind's made up. In the morning, I'm going to ring mister Moore and tell him exactly what's happened. Then it's up to him to take any action he thinks necessary.
[00:12:28] Unknown:
Okay. That's the end of the cleaning contract. What do you mean? Well, mister Moore is so pleased with the job we did tonight. He's coming around here in the morning to offer us a regular contract at his big five promotions. So? And one of the rules is that all lost property is deposited with the man in the box office. That's why he wants supervisors. Once he knows that we remove this parcel from the arena and open it,
[00:12:50] Unknown:
you get what I mean to you? I don't like it, Cannon. The police should be informed.
[00:12:55] Unknown:
Well, there's, there's no law against cutting off your ear. I mean, legally, it's like cutting toenails. So some nut cuts off his ear and sent it to the challenger, Sammy Bart. It's a man's ear and a big one at that.
[00:13:08] Unknown:
How do we, know why he did it? It? No. Alright. But, well, what do we do with it? I say we're morally obliged to take it round to the police station even if we do lose the cleaners contract. No sense in cutting off your nose to spite your face. Cannon. Sorry, chief.
[00:13:22] Unknown:
No. Look. Let me wrap it up again and take it back to Sammy Bart first
[00:13:27] Unknown:
thing. Oh, alright, you win. But I don't like it. I don't like it at all, Cannon. What on earth will mister Bart say when he opens it? Sammy Bart is the empire champion and he comes from London. So he'll probably say Yes? What's this here? The heavy leather bound volume of Homer's Iliad that I hurled at Canon crashed into a closed door. In a way, I was glad that he bought the grizzly parcel back to the office. I know very little about prize fighters, but I reasoned that mister Bart, having won his contest, would be feeling a little like myself. I must confess to a certain exhilaration of being the club chess champion, and the fighter must have felt the same. That parcel, if delivered on the night of his victory, would most certainly have ruined his great moment. But in one thing, cannon was wrong. Sannybot might be a prize fighter from London, but his speech was impeccable.
[00:14:22] Unknown:
You come in, mister Cannon? I I must apologize for the untidiness of my hotel suite. I slept late this morning. Understandably, champ. I watched the fight last night. You were great. Thank you. Well, I'm a fan, you know, never missed the big ones. Sat right up there with Leslie Benn, the commentator. The American? Yeah. They broadcast the fact The States, didn't you know? Oh, yes. Of course. Well, he's Tufts in The States, you know. You, you ever been to America?
[00:14:46] Unknown:
No. No. I've never been to America. They said at the desk that you had a parcel to deliver to me personally. Oh, yes. Right.
[00:14:54] Unknown:
I've got it here. Who gave it, you may ask? Nobody. You see, I was in charge of the cleaners at the stadium, and one of the workers found this under the ring by your corner. It's addressed to you, so I thought I'd bring it around personally. That was very kind of you. If you'll wait a minute, I'll see that you're suitably rewarded. Oh, that's okay. It's just part of my job. Well, I've got to get back. So if you'll excuse me I wouldn't hear of it. Sit down, mister Cannon. Well, you see, I Sit down. Okay.
[00:15:25] Unknown:
Sammy.
[00:15:27] Unknown:
Nothing wrong, I hope, mister Barnes. Well, up. Yes, god. Not the dog. Yes, god. Look. I got a job. Down, mister Cannon.
[00:15:37] Unknown:
Where did you get this parcel?
[00:15:39] Unknown:
Well, it's, it's like I told you. For the last time, where did you get this parcel? And now look, if you're trying to get turned Yes, mister Cannon. Yeah. I should get tangled up with a future world champion. Okay. I'll come clean. Better.
[00:15:54] Unknown:
A drink?
[00:15:55] Unknown:
Yeah. Scotch on the rocks. Weber? Yes, Scott. Alright, mister Cannon.
[00:16:00] Unknown:
You were about to come clean.
[00:16:02] Unknown:
Well, you see, I, I work for an organization called Assignments Unlimited. You can check the numbers in the directory, Groverner5Double95. I found the parcel just like I said, but I noticed there was blood that had seeped up. There's a gotch on the rocks. Oh, oh, thanks. Thanks. So I, took it back to the office and opened it up to have a look. Well, the boss and me, well, we decided the best thing to do was to deliver it here this morning. What else could you have done with it? Well, the chief wanted me to deliver it to the police.
[00:16:34] Unknown:
Have you any idea where this might have come from? Well, I figured it was some kind of nuts. There you are. Alright, Webber. Now, mister Cannon, having delivered your strange parcel, what do you expect me to do with it?
[00:16:48] Unknown:
Mhmm. Take it to the cops, I guess.
[00:16:50] Unknown:
Yes, that would be the logical thing.
[00:16:53] Unknown:
Or throw it away. Forget the whole incident. Yeah, yeah, that's what I do. I have no sense in keeping it. Forget all about it.
[00:17:00] Unknown:
That'll be hard for you, Mr. Cannon.
[00:17:02] Unknown:
I imagine your experience would make a good talking point in the pub. Did I find an ear in a box and deliver it to the future world champion? You wanna have me thrown out of every bar in town? It is an unlikely story, isn't it? Crazy.
[00:17:16] Unknown:
Very well, mister Cannon. You've proved to me that you're not some idiotic practical joker, so you may go. Webber?
[00:17:24] Unknown:
Well, thanks, mister Bart. It's, nice to have met you. Oh, and,
[00:17:30] Unknown:
here's a five of your trouble.
[00:17:34] Unknown:
Oh, that's,
[00:17:35] Unknown:
very generous. I make a good friend, mister Cannon. Good morning.
[00:17:45] Unknown:
Cannon arrived back at the office at 10:30 and outlined his experience with the champion. I was surprised that so able a pugilist should be a man of such culture and wondered if the glorious days of gentleman Jim Corbett were to be resuscitated. Cannon, idly twisting the morning newspaper in his hands, had no such lofty thoughts.
[00:18:04] Unknown:
He, he didn't talk like a prize fighter. Apart from that cauliflower ear, he doesn't even look like a prize fighter. Are you sure it was the Empire champion you saw this morning? Oh, no doubt about that, chief. I watched that fight from the commentators booth through the, telescope window. And that's better than ringside. I'd know Sammy Bart anywhere. Well, then I won't be forget the whole incident. That's what Sammy Bart wants us to do. I gave him the ear and he gave me a fiver. Well, what's wrong with that? Well, I got the impression that he was trying to buy me off. I don't like that.
If I'm right, Sammy Bart is pushing me around. And I don't let anybody push me around, not even the cruiserweight champion. And what's more, if he was sleeping me a fiver to keep my mouth shut, then he must know where that ear came from.
[00:18:49] Unknown:
Check. And, mate.
[00:18:51] Unknown:
So that makes a skeleton in Sammy Bart's cupboard. A one eared skeleton that's rattling a money box under his nose, and the champ is headed for the big time. Take a look at the morning newspaper. Read the headlines.
[00:19:05] Unknown:
Sammy Bart to be crowned king in December.
[00:19:08] Unknown:
King? Now, that's what they call the world champion, the king. How quaint. And he'll receive a lot of money for this. Well, worth closed circuit television rights, about $3,000,000
[00:19:18] Unknown:
Oh, I think I'll get a trainer in for you, Cameron. Yes? A mister who? Ben? I asked him over to you. Oh, alright. Send him in, will you?
[00:19:30] Unknown:
Isn't that the commentator fellow you were telling me about? That's the boy. I heard him make a few remarks about the champ and the Challenger last night. I just wanted to hear more.
[00:19:40] Unknown:
Oh, do come in, Mr. Bend. I'm angry.
[00:19:44] Unknown:
Hello there, Kenna. Enjoyed the fight last night? Great. Mr. Bend, this is, Mr. Mason, my chief. I do do. I never better. Well, I got your message. What can I do for you? Well, we got a a small problem, mister Brand. It's about Sammy Bart, the new champ. Uh-huh. Tell me, where did he get that, that great cauliflower
[00:20:01] Unknown:
ear? Lucky you. I looked it up in the ring manual. I thought I might slip it into the broadcast as a tidbit if the fight got dull. Not that I had much chance. He got it in a fight in Millwall, but not in the ring either. A bunch of hoodlums worked him over with an iron bar. Why'd you ask? You said he had a a twin brother. That's right. Nigel Bart. Great fighter too. Maybe even better than Sammy. What happened? Say Nigel Bart. Mhmm. Oh, he was campaigning in The States. He he got hauled in on a larceny charge and was convicted. If that happens to a fighter, he loses his license. So that was the end of Nigel Bart.
[00:20:34] Unknown:
Tell me, has, has Sammy ever been to The States? To fight?
[00:20:39] Unknown:
No. No. But I heard tell he was in America around the time his brother, Nigel, was sent up the river. Mhmm. And this Nigel, has he got a cauliflower ear? Mm-mm. Not a mark on him. That's unusual for a prize fighter.
[00:20:51] Unknown:
Then look, what's what's all this about? Look, I wanna have a talk with Sammy Barton. I want you to come with me.
[00:20:58] Unknown:
Are you kidding? Haven't you seen the special edition? No. Sammy Barton committed suicide this morning, jumped from the roof of a block of flats.
[00:21:13] Unknown:
And so it seemed that we should never know the solution to the mystery of the ear. There it was in the newspaper. Sammy Bart, suicide, complete and final. And then the telephone rang. Assignments unlimited.
[00:21:28] Unknown:
Is that mister Mason? Speaking.
[00:21:30] Unknown:
Is there a mister Cannon with you? Yes. He's one of my operators. He's with me at the mount, as a matter of fact. Would you like to speak to him? No. Not now. I'd like to talk to you both in, say,
[00:21:40] Unknown:
half an hour, but I must stress that our conversation be in the privacy of your office and completely confidential. Well, of course. May I ask who's calling? Your mister Cannon will know me. We had a little chat earlier this morning. My name is Bart.
[00:21:55] Unknown:
I didn't tell Cannon immediately. First, I thanked Leslie Ben, the commentator, and promised to take a more active interest in fisticuffs. Only when he'd gone did I tell Cannon about the phantom caller except that he wasn't a phantom. He arrived on schedule, a magnificent specimen of manhood, vibrant and very much alive. He addressed one remark to cannon who answered with a grunt and then we let him have his head. I apologize. My rather treatment of you this morning, mister cannon.
[00:22:24] Unknown:
You'll notice that I no longer have a cauliflower ear. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I came to you because my brother's death this morning closes a tragic chapter in our family life. I had to speak to you because Sammy died during the time you were in my hotel suite. Once you read about his death, you would feel obliged to go to the police. I'm Nigel Bart, of course, Sammy's twin brother. It was I who fought and beat Ned Riley last night, not Sammy. We were identical twins. No one could tear us apart except for the qualifier ear and Sammy's mental instability.
The ear you saw on me last night was fabricated from rubber and glued over my own. It was one reason why I had to finish the fight quickly. Blow from Ned might have dislodged it. And my brother, Sammy, went downhill when our father died, kept bad company, sold him out of trouble. I did all I could, but it was one battle I didn't win. I'd gladly have lost all the others, but it wasn't to be. I took him to The United States with me, hoping that a new environment might change him. But he was caught by the police, charged with larceny.
And that was before his brush with the Millwall gang that damaged his ear. Oh, in short, I rang the changes, stood trial for him. You probably know the result. Sammy tried hard to go straight. He turned professional. He was all right for a time. It didn't last. The rubber ear was made a while ago as a joke. Last night, when Sammy was in no condition to go into the ring, I planned with him to swap places again. The fact he was missing his last big chance to make good threw him right off balance. Cutting off his ear and sending it to me was his last act of defiance before committing suicide.
[00:24:33] Unknown:
Kamal, there you are. The story we called The King and the Cauliflower Ear.
[00:25:05] Unknown:
From taco night in Tulum to sushi in Tokyo, everybody's rewarding and post worthy with MX Gold's four times membership rewards points at restaurants worldwide. Wherever you dine, points are piling up. So bring your friends along for your next course, because it's not all about the post. It's about the company and the memories. How can gold from Amex sweeten your next food moment? Learn more at AmericanExpress.com/explore-gold. Terms and points cap apply.
From taco night in Tulum to sushi in Tokyo, every bite is rewarding and pulse worthy with MX Gold's four times membership rewards points at restaurants worldwide. Wherever you dine, points are piling up. So bring your friends along for your next course because it's not all about the posts. It's about the company and the memories. How can gold from Amex sweeten your next food moment? Learn more at AmericanExpress.com/explore-gold. Terms and points cap apply.
[00:00:34] Unknown:
Well, you gotta admit the boys' game. You won't lost the granddad. This Jamaican boy is on his nails. Punch like the kick of
[00:00:45] Unknown:
a mule.
[00:00:50] Unknown:
There were not Teddy. The referee stopped the fight while it was there. Crazy crowd, the English. Always shout for the underdogs.
[00:00:57] Unknown:
But I bet it'll be different next week for the empire title, boss. If there is an empire title. And what do you mean by that? Staff troubles.
[00:01:04] Unknown:
There's an LCC ruling at Earl's Courtland. The whole area must be cleaned up right after the meeting. I don't know how we managed tonight, but it'll open next week. You,
[00:01:13] Unknown:
you short of staff, mister Moore? Oh, desperate. Then I'll be answer to a maiden's prayer. Ring up Groverner five double nine five. That's the phone number of Assignments Unlimited at 33 Half Moon Street. Aubrey Mason at your service.
[00:01:25] Unknown:
At assignments unlimited, we do anything, anywhere, at any time. 33 Half Moon Street. Canon is really a quiet sort of chap with a plebeian taste for football, boxing and Wild West pictures. He's rugged, of course, which is just as well because canon has an unfortunate habit of attracting trouble. It's never intentional. He explains it by saying he has a mesmeric metabolism that attracts the seamy side of life. Certainly, mister Moore gave no indication of what was to come when I interviewed him on the Earl's Court job. Cleaners are after the big fight next week, mister Moore.
[00:02:21] Unknown:
And I'm not sure that we could supply the number of workers you'd need for that. Oh, it's not the actual sweepers, mister Mason. We can get them from the labor exchange. You see, they're mostly West Indians and work well enough if properly supervised. Mister Cannon told me that you might be able to supply two or three men to act in a supervisory capacity with the work. Oh, yes. That we can do easily.
[00:02:40] Unknown:
I'll put two of my most reliable men on the job. We'll do that. One of them be Mr. Cannon? Oh, without doubt. He'll be delighted at the opportunity of watching the big fight free of charge. May I send you a couple of complimentary tickets, Mr. Mason? For Friday night? No, it's kind of you, Mr. Moore, but, well, I must decline, unfortunately. Oh, not interested in professional boxing? Oh, it's not that, actually. It just so happens that this Friday night, my club's having its own championship match. I'm an active participant. You're a boxer? No, mister Moore. Not nearly so romantic.
It is a chess championship. Check. Oh, well, I think you'll find the men I send to be reliable, mister Moore. And I wish you a successful Friday evening. As you, mister Cannon, would say, this Empire title fight will be a knockout.
[00:03:38] Unknown:
Hi. Any objections if I park in the booth here for the fight? Well, that depends. Are you an American? New York. You? Milwaukee.
[00:03:45] Unknown:
Well, regulation state only members of the staff are allowed in here. Well, then I guess it's okay. Cannon's the name, boss of the cleaning team. Come right on in, Cannon. I'm Leslie Van, National Broadcasting Corporation.
[00:03:55] Unknown:
Well, what do you know? You,
[00:03:58] Unknown:
you're making the fight commentary? That's right. The New York border control recognizes this empire fight as a world eliminator, hence the broadcast of The States. I know if you sit quietly in the corner, nobody's gonna say a word, but I said quietly and no bad words. Oh, my old man, he sent me to Sunday school every week.
[00:04:14] Unknown:
Standby, mister Benny. You're hooked up in ten seconds from now.
[00:04:20] Unknown:
Here we go. Give me full sound and number four, Booth. Good afternoon to all listeners on the NBC hookup. This is Leslie Ben. We're floating from the Oldsport Stadium in London, England, where the time is 09:30PM. And the contenders for the British empire cruiserweight title are limbering up in their respective corners. Awaiting the gong for the first round, it'll set them in combat and decide who will have a tilt of the World Cruiserweight crown in Toledo in December. Both fighters are in good shape for the contest, and there's not a pound difference in weight between them. The champion, Ned Riley, with his colored shirts and blazing with the green shamrock of Ireland and the challenger, Sammy Bart, the decking a more somber of black. The colors are symbolic. It'll be a red letter day for the winner and a black Friday for the loser. I expect a good fight since both boys have everything to gain by a win here in London, England. Some of you keen followers of the fight game will remember three years back when Nigel Bart, twin brother of Sammy, who's in the ring now, fought in The States. A large in a charge ended Nigel's career, but his twin brother has stepped right into his shoes to challenge the champion tonight.
And there goes the bell for the first round. They meet in the center of the ring, both fighters summing each other up. Riley has a three day crop of whiskers on his chin and a smile on his face. That's cool, imperturbable, and large rosy tin ear as a hallmark of his profession on an otherwise unmarked face. Riley leads with the left, but brushes to the side, side steps neatly as he turns that great cauliflower here, stands up like the plume helm of Navarre. And suddenly the temple's changed. Art comes slamming in all your pressure right to left, a left, another left, and a mighty chopping right that's got Riley reeling in the car's one dessert. Oh, this is a semi part we've never seen before. He comes in again and slams home that left and a right and another left and a right that shuts down right like a mean x. He's done right and down. West running.
Three, four. Well, he's up at four, but boy, his face looks like he's drive head first into a cement mixer. And Riley's down again, and he's down again. All across Wayne Wyler. We have a fierce turn and he could touch your top puzzle out of it. Two, four, five. The champion's game, he wants to get up with the rest insisting on a compulsory kind of eight after the second knockout. And he's up, swaying on his feet as the challenger comes, storming in, and it's a left and a left, and overcomes that right to chop down the champ. He's down. Riley's down, and he's is here to watch this fight tonight, and it's not going to be a buggy ride when he meets Sammy Bart in December. Sammy Bart, the new cruiserweight champion. Check. Your rook, sir Thomas. I think you've got me, Mason. Check and mate. Thank you, sir Thomas.
[00:07:07] Unknown:
I don't know how you do it, Mason. You're a fighter. Alright? Oh, it's the bulldog spirit, sir.
[00:07:13] Unknown:
Excuse me, sir. Is the game concluded? Yes, Crowley. Another chess championship out of the way until next year. May I inquire who won, sir Thomas? You may indeed, Crawley. Mister Mason, undefeatable, the most rugged fighter in the kingdom. Then you will be able to answer the telephone, mister Mason. Telephone? What at this hour? Who is it? American intonation in the voice, mister Mason. Oh, I know who it is, Crowley. Shall I plug in the extension, mister If you will. Well, I think this calls for a celebration. A bottle of port. Any dissenters that we are in a capital. Well, let's leave Mason to his telephone conversation and appoint Crawley Potman. Thank you.
[00:07:58] Unknown:
Hello?
[00:08:00] Unknown:
Oh, is that you, Cameron? Hello to you all. This is hot news straight from the cannon's mouth. Cannon, are you drunk? No. Quite sober, chief. I have watched a big fight from a broadcasting booth and seen the great Leslie Benn in action. Oh, good show. Did he win? I mean, this Leslie Benn? No. No. No. Leslie Benn was the commentator. The protagonists were Ned Riley and Sammy Bart. Bart won and our jobs completed. Already?
[00:08:22] Unknown:
But I thought you wouldn't be through until one in the morning. Well, the fight lasted one minute. Sixty seconds. What a challenge and what a champion. Cannon, look. If ever we get a job calling for a boxing commentator, our seat's passed on to you. But right now, we have a little celebration going on in the club. So if you don't Hey. That's right. I forgot. You were playing in the chess championship tonight. How did it go, chief? Extremely well. Thank you, Cameron. No. What I mean is who won? Well, I did, actually. Now I must say No. No. Hang hang on, chief. Look. I gotta see you tonight. Trouble? Maybe. Well, what is it?
[00:08:54] Unknown:
Well, one of the, Jamaican cleaners found a small parcel wrapped in brown paper under the ring in Sammy Bart's corner. It's addressed to Bart. Well, then why don't you give it to him? There's a stain in one corner where something has seeped through. Yes? You guessed it, chief. It's blood.
[00:09:17] Unknown:
Alright, Cannon. Dump it on the table. You see, you found it under the ring by this, Sammy Bart's corner. Or strictly speaking, chief, one of the Jamaican cleaners found it. And he handed it to you? That's right.
[00:09:29] Unknown:
Are they reliable, these Jamaicans? Well, if you mean honest, yes. As anybody's honest who works as general, they're superstitious too. This guy Bart wasn't expected to win, and yet he sailed through the champion like a maniac with a parlax. So I told the Jamaican that was probably voodoo. Oh, what an ass did you do that for? Mister Moore promised me a personal bonus if I got the place clean before midnight. When they heard about the voodoo, they had that joint as clean as a widow's parlor in half an hour flat. Cannon, you're incorrigible. And not only that, I got bad habits.
Well, what do we do, chief? Open or deliver? Well, it might simply be meat. A pound of steak in case you got a black eye.
[00:10:07] Unknown:
I wonder what he what he was doing under the ring like that. Well, if I could offer my professional advice as a garbage expert,
[00:10:14] Unknown:
that entire arena was knee deep in empty popcorn packets, torn up tickets, newspapers for the fish and chips. And the whole place, only one small square was free of garbage under the ring. So when the scaffold company took the ring away, it was impossible to miss seeing the package. That rather looks as it was put there purposely. Well, you've gotta be very short sighted to mistake a boxing ring for a mailbox.
[00:10:39] Unknown:
Well, it's carefully wrapped and neatly taped. You know, it's our duty to hand this straight over to mister Moore. Well, supposing,
[00:10:46] Unknown:
I opened it very carefully, you know, so as I could wrap it up again very carefully. Well, that might be dangerous. No. It can't be a time bomb. Gunpowder is black. Oh, alright. But if he turns out to be a pound of liver, I'll have your blood. Okay. Here we go. Wow. Maybe it was a voodoo after all. Cannon.
[00:11:10] Unknown:
That's an ear. A human ear. Cannon just sat and stared at it, his hand gently stroking his own generous lobe. And then it occurred to me that this was a very large ear severed sharply but crudely from its owner's head. What could it mean? I glanced inquiringly at Canon. Well, that's new. Maybe a day old. Yes. I was thinking the same thing. Well, who could he belong to?
[00:11:58] Unknown:
Didn't search me. Maybe we got a modern van Gogh running loose in London. Van Gogh was an artist.
[00:12:05] Unknown:
Anyway, he cut off his ear to send to his lady love. Well, could be in reverse. A lot of these dames go dizzy over prize fighters. A girl's ear. Look at the size of it. Well, somebody's ears were burning last night for sure. Another facetious remark like that from you and I'll put a fee on your ear. Okay, chief. Okay. Now look, my mind's made up. In the morning, I'm going to ring mister Moore and tell him exactly what's happened. Then it's up to him to take any action he thinks necessary.
[00:12:28] Unknown:
Okay. That's the end of the cleaning contract. What do you mean? Well, mister Moore is so pleased with the job we did tonight. He's coming around here in the morning to offer us a regular contract at his big five promotions. So? And one of the rules is that all lost property is deposited with the man in the box office. That's why he wants supervisors. Once he knows that we remove this parcel from the arena and open it,
[00:12:50] Unknown:
you get what I mean to you? I don't like it, Cannon. The police should be informed.
[00:12:55] Unknown:
Well, there's, there's no law against cutting off your ear. I mean, legally, it's like cutting toenails. So some nut cuts off his ear and sent it to the challenger, Sammy Bart. It's a man's ear and a big one at that.
[00:13:08] Unknown:
How do we, know why he did it? It? No. Alright. But, well, what do we do with it? I say we're morally obliged to take it round to the police station even if we do lose the cleaners contract. No sense in cutting off your nose to spite your face. Cannon. Sorry, chief.
[00:13:22] Unknown:
No. Look. Let me wrap it up again and take it back to Sammy Bart first
[00:13:27] Unknown:
thing. Oh, alright, you win. But I don't like it. I don't like it at all, Cannon. What on earth will mister Bart say when he opens it? Sammy Bart is the empire champion and he comes from London. So he'll probably say Yes? What's this here? The heavy leather bound volume of Homer's Iliad that I hurled at Canon crashed into a closed door. In a way, I was glad that he bought the grizzly parcel back to the office. I know very little about prize fighters, but I reasoned that mister Bart, having won his contest, would be feeling a little like myself. I must confess to a certain exhilaration of being the club chess champion, and the fighter must have felt the same. That parcel, if delivered on the night of his victory, would most certainly have ruined his great moment. But in one thing, cannon was wrong. Sannybot might be a prize fighter from London, but his speech was impeccable.
[00:14:22] Unknown:
You come in, mister Cannon? I I must apologize for the untidiness of my hotel suite. I slept late this morning. Understandably, champ. I watched the fight last night. You were great. Thank you. Well, I'm a fan, you know, never missed the big ones. Sat right up there with Leslie Benn, the commentator. The American? Yeah. They broadcast the fact The States, didn't you know? Oh, yes. Of course. Well, he's Tufts in The States, you know. You, you ever been to America?
[00:14:46] Unknown:
No. No. I've never been to America. They said at the desk that you had a parcel to deliver to me personally. Oh, yes. Right.
[00:14:54] Unknown:
I've got it here. Who gave it, you may ask? Nobody. You see, I was in charge of the cleaners at the stadium, and one of the workers found this under the ring by your corner. It's addressed to you, so I thought I'd bring it around personally. That was very kind of you. If you'll wait a minute, I'll see that you're suitably rewarded. Oh, that's okay. It's just part of my job. Well, I've got to get back. So if you'll excuse me I wouldn't hear of it. Sit down, mister Cannon. Well, you see, I Sit down. Okay.
[00:15:25] Unknown:
Sammy.
[00:15:27] Unknown:
Nothing wrong, I hope, mister Barnes. Well, up. Yes, god. Not the dog. Yes, god. Look. I got a job. Down, mister Cannon.
[00:15:37] Unknown:
Where did you get this parcel?
[00:15:39] Unknown:
Well, it's, it's like I told you. For the last time, where did you get this parcel? And now look, if you're trying to get turned Yes, mister Cannon. Yeah. I should get tangled up with a future world champion. Okay. I'll come clean. Better.
[00:15:54] Unknown:
A drink?
[00:15:55] Unknown:
Yeah. Scotch on the rocks. Weber? Yes, Scott. Alright, mister Cannon.
[00:16:00] Unknown:
You were about to come clean.
[00:16:02] Unknown:
Well, you see, I, I work for an organization called Assignments Unlimited. You can check the numbers in the directory, Groverner5Double95. I found the parcel just like I said, but I noticed there was blood that had seeped up. There's a gotch on the rocks. Oh, oh, thanks. Thanks. So I, took it back to the office and opened it up to have a look. Well, the boss and me, well, we decided the best thing to do was to deliver it here this morning. What else could you have done with it? Well, the chief wanted me to deliver it to the police.
[00:16:34] Unknown:
Have you any idea where this might have come from? Well, I figured it was some kind of nuts. There you are. Alright, Webber. Now, mister Cannon, having delivered your strange parcel, what do you expect me to do with it?
[00:16:48] Unknown:
Mhmm. Take it to the cops, I guess.
[00:16:50] Unknown:
Yes, that would be the logical thing.
[00:16:53] Unknown:
Or throw it away. Forget the whole incident. Yeah, yeah, that's what I do. I have no sense in keeping it. Forget all about it.
[00:17:00] Unknown:
That'll be hard for you, Mr. Cannon.
[00:17:02] Unknown:
I imagine your experience would make a good talking point in the pub. Did I find an ear in a box and deliver it to the future world champion? You wanna have me thrown out of every bar in town? It is an unlikely story, isn't it? Crazy.
[00:17:16] Unknown:
Very well, mister Cannon. You've proved to me that you're not some idiotic practical joker, so you may go. Webber?
[00:17:24] Unknown:
Well, thanks, mister Bart. It's, nice to have met you. Oh, and,
[00:17:30] Unknown:
here's a five of your trouble.
[00:17:34] Unknown:
Oh, that's,
[00:17:35] Unknown:
very generous. I make a good friend, mister Cannon. Good morning.
[00:17:45] Unknown:
Cannon arrived back at the office at 10:30 and outlined his experience with the champion. I was surprised that so able a pugilist should be a man of such culture and wondered if the glorious days of gentleman Jim Corbett were to be resuscitated. Cannon, idly twisting the morning newspaper in his hands, had no such lofty thoughts.
[00:18:04] Unknown:
He, he didn't talk like a prize fighter. Apart from that cauliflower ear, he doesn't even look like a prize fighter. Are you sure it was the Empire champion you saw this morning? Oh, no doubt about that, chief. I watched that fight from the commentators booth through the, telescope window. And that's better than ringside. I'd know Sammy Bart anywhere. Well, then I won't be forget the whole incident. That's what Sammy Bart wants us to do. I gave him the ear and he gave me a fiver. Well, what's wrong with that? Well, I got the impression that he was trying to buy me off. I don't like that.
If I'm right, Sammy Bart is pushing me around. And I don't let anybody push me around, not even the cruiserweight champion. And what's more, if he was sleeping me a fiver to keep my mouth shut, then he must know where that ear came from.
[00:18:49] Unknown:
Check. And, mate.
[00:18:51] Unknown:
So that makes a skeleton in Sammy Bart's cupboard. A one eared skeleton that's rattling a money box under his nose, and the champ is headed for the big time. Take a look at the morning newspaper. Read the headlines.
[00:19:05] Unknown:
Sammy Bart to be crowned king in December.
[00:19:08] Unknown:
King? Now, that's what they call the world champion, the king. How quaint. And he'll receive a lot of money for this. Well, worth closed circuit television rights, about $3,000,000
[00:19:18] Unknown:
Oh, I think I'll get a trainer in for you, Cameron. Yes? A mister who? Ben? I asked him over to you. Oh, alright. Send him in, will you?
[00:19:30] Unknown:
Isn't that the commentator fellow you were telling me about? That's the boy. I heard him make a few remarks about the champ and the Challenger last night. I just wanted to hear more.
[00:19:40] Unknown:
Oh, do come in, Mr. Bend. I'm angry.
[00:19:44] Unknown:
Hello there, Kenna. Enjoyed the fight last night? Great. Mr. Bend, this is, Mr. Mason, my chief. I do do. I never better. Well, I got your message. What can I do for you? Well, we got a a small problem, mister Brand. It's about Sammy Bart, the new champ. Uh-huh. Tell me, where did he get that, that great cauliflower
[00:20:01] Unknown:
ear? Lucky you. I looked it up in the ring manual. I thought I might slip it into the broadcast as a tidbit if the fight got dull. Not that I had much chance. He got it in a fight in Millwall, but not in the ring either. A bunch of hoodlums worked him over with an iron bar. Why'd you ask? You said he had a a twin brother. That's right. Nigel Bart. Great fighter too. Maybe even better than Sammy. What happened? Say Nigel Bart. Mhmm. Oh, he was campaigning in The States. He he got hauled in on a larceny charge and was convicted. If that happens to a fighter, he loses his license. So that was the end of Nigel Bart.
[00:20:34] Unknown:
Tell me, has, has Sammy ever been to The States? To fight?
[00:20:39] Unknown:
No. No. But I heard tell he was in America around the time his brother, Nigel, was sent up the river. Mhmm. And this Nigel, has he got a cauliflower ear? Mm-mm. Not a mark on him. That's unusual for a prize fighter.
[00:20:51] Unknown:
Then look, what's what's all this about? Look, I wanna have a talk with Sammy Barton. I want you to come with me.
[00:20:58] Unknown:
Are you kidding? Haven't you seen the special edition? No. Sammy Barton committed suicide this morning, jumped from the roof of a block of flats.
[00:21:13] Unknown:
And so it seemed that we should never know the solution to the mystery of the ear. There it was in the newspaper. Sammy Bart, suicide, complete and final. And then the telephone rang. Assignments unlimited.
[00:21:28] Unknown:
Is that mister Mason? Speaking.
[00:21:30] Unknown:
Is there a mister Cannon with you? Yes. He's one of my operators. He's with me at the mount, as a matter of fact. Would you like to speak to him? No. Not now. I'd like to talk to you both in, say,
[00:21:40] Unknown:
half an hour, but I must stress that our conversation be in the privacy of your office and completely confidential. Well, of course. May I ask who's calling? Your mister Cannon will know me. We had a little chat earlier this morning. My name is Bart.
[00:21:55] Unknown:
I didn't tell Cannon immediately. First, I thanked Leslie Ben, the commentator, and promised to take a more active interest in fisticuffs. Only when he'd gone did I tell Cannon about the phantom caller except that he wasn't a phantom. He arrived on schedule, a magnificent specimen of manhood, vibrant and very much alive. He addressed one remark to cannon who answered with a grunt and then we let him have his head. I apologize. My rather treatment of you this morning, mister cannon.
[00:22:24] Unknown:
You'll notice that I no longer have a cauliflower ear. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I came to you because my brother's death this morning closes a tragic chapter in our family life. I had to speak to you because Sammy died during the time you were in my hotel suite. Once you read about his death, you would feel obliged to go to the police. I'm Nigel Bart, of course, Sammy's twin brother. It was I who fought and beat Ned Riley last night, not Sammy. We were identical twins. No one could tear us apart except for the qualifier ear and Sammy's mental instability.
The ear you saw on me last night was fabricated from rubber and glued over my own. It was one reason why I had to finish the fight quickly. Blow from Ned might have dislodged it. And my brother, Sammy, went downhill when our father died, kept bad company, sold him out of trouble. I did all I could, but it was one battle I didn't win. I'd gladly have lost all the others, but it wasn't to be. I took him to The United States with me, hoping that a new environment might change him. But he was caught by the police, charged with larceny.
And that was before his brush with the Millwall gang that damaged his ear. Oh, in short, I rang the changes, stood trial for him. You probably know the result. Sammy tried hard to go straight. He turned professional. He was all right for a time. It didn't last. The rubber ear was made a while ago as a joke. Last night, when Sammy was in no condition to go into the ring, I planned with him to swap places again. The fact he was missing his last big chance to make good threw him right off balance. Cutting off his ear and sending it to me was his last act of defiance before committing suicide.
[00:24:33] Unknown:
Kamal, there you are. The story we called The King and the Cauliflower Ear.
[00:25:05] Unknown:
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