In this thrilling episode, we delve into the mysterious happenings at His Majesty's Theatre, where a simple stagehand job turns into a deadly affair. Mortimer Carstairs and his team from Assignments Unlimited are called upon to fill in for absent stagehands, but the night takes a dark turn when a man is found dead on stage. As the investigation unfolds, it becomes clear that the murder was not as straightforward as it seemed, with connections to the underworld and a case of mistaken identity leading to a shocking revelation.
Join us as we follow the twists and turns of this gripping tale, where the world of theater meets the gritty underbelly of crime. With colorful characters, unexpected alliances, and a race against time, this episode keeps you on the edge of your seat. Discover how a chance encounter and quick thinking unravel a plot that could have gone unsolved, and learn the true story behind the murder at the theater.
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[00:00:01]
Unknown:
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[00:00:34] Unknown:
What time is it? 10:30 and a beautiful morning. The morning is never beautiful, Mortimer. For lovers and poets but never for thespians.
[00:00:42] Unknown:
The night is for actors. Well, stop acting for a minute and give me your undivided attention. It must be serious if you drag me out of bed at 10:00 in the morning. It is. An hour ago, I had a deputation from the stagehands. They won't be working tonight. Oh, not a strike. Not those layabouts. Call it what you will, but unless I can find two good men to move the truck on stage for the second act, we'll have to put up the notices. Close the show because of a couple of stagehands. What nonsense.
[00:01:05] Unknown:
Assignments unlimited will supply you with a couple of hands. Assignments
[00:01:09] Unknown:
unlimited?
[00:01:10] Unknown:
What's that? It's a firm specialising in offbeat jobs. Go and see them. Their offices are in the West End, 30 3 Half Moon Street.
[00:01:47] Unknown:
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[00:03:46] Unknown:
I had labored under the misapprehension that Cannon's taste in theatre was restricted to the occasional visit to the windmill, all those gloomy speakeasies in Soho. I was therefore rather surprised when I learned that he'd seen the sophisticated play 'Chanchon, the abbey', currently playing at His Majesty's in the Haymarket. I discovered this cultured side to the Canon character when a flowery and flamboyant gentleman called at my office to recruit a couple of stagehands for the play. We were particularly busy at the time and I was able to offer the services of only one man, De Witt Cannon. But he, having seen the play, knew roughly what was required and was able to recruit the second helper from among the twilight set who live on the fringe of society and the edge of the law. His theatrical employer didn't seem to mind and so I decided to give Canon his head and hope for the best.
[00:04:38] Unknown:
Hello, Guppy. Hello. Haven't Haven't seen you standing on this corner for a long time. Been doing a two stretch on the mower. When did you get out? Last week. You, you doing anything special? In a matter of speaking.
[00:04:51] Unknown:
But you're not speaking. As a matter of fact, I'm carrying a razor for Jack Dot.
[00:04:56] Unknown:
How's business? Sharp. You, you want a night's work tonight on the level? What should it? Sweet quit. Tell him what? Stagehand over at his majesty's.
[00:05:06] Unknown:
I'll be with you backstage at 07:30 if you can get away. Hold on. As a matter of fact, things are quiet on the row. I've heard there's a lot of trouble between Billy Mills mob and Italian Henry. So the dot mob sit on the sidelines,
[00:05:19] Unknown:
See you there at about seven. Four quid, did you say? Uh-uh. 3. Over there. I'll do it 3p in. Okay. Tell them at the stage door you're being gazed by mister Mortimer Carstairs, and don't forget, otherwise, they may not let you in. Not let me in. That's your car map. Oh, yeah. And, leave your at home. Oh, mate. Why don't you pick me chief? Well, just so long as you don't pick a fight. See you, Agape. Seven thirty at the stage door.
[00:05:45] Unknown:
I want to see a geezer called Castes, granted. Someone want me. Good evening. Who are you? The new stage
[00:05:53] Unknown:
here. You? What's wrong with me? Nothing. Nothing at all. Hang on. Canon?
[00:05:58] Unknown:
Coming.
[00:05:59] Unknown:
Yeah. What is it, mister Carstairs? Oh, Gopi. You made it. Good boy. This is the fellow that's gonna help with the truck. Call him Gopi.
[00:06:07] Unknown:
Gopi? What does he do in his spare time?
[00:06:10] Unknown:
Well, you, you might say he's a sort of, a trimmer. Oh, seemingly.
[00:06:15] Unknown:
Well, alright. Get in the wings. I'd just like to see you move that truck on once. Okay. Come on, Guppy. You lend a hand,
[00:06:22] Unknown:
Now let the brake off. Yeah.
[00:06:29] Unknown:
Yeah. No, it runs easily. There's a stop on the stage and so that it can't run too far.
[00:06:34] Unknown:
What about your friend? Guppy.
[00:06:37] Unknown:
Oh, yeah. Look, Guppy, you're supposed to help me push it. You never said If all stagehands were as strong as you, Mr. Cannon, we could operate on half the personnel. No. That'll be bad for the trade union council. Okay, Gaffney. Now push it back again. No. It's a jinx. It's a jinx I tell you more about. What's happened now? That nitwit of a bit player, Sammy North. Just tell if I were to say he's not feeling well and can't make it tonight at the last minute.
[00:07:00] Unknown:
Why didn't you ring earlier? I said Alright. Alright, Jason. It's not a disaster. He only comes on in the first act to say one line. Any one of the spare stagehands can do it. What spare stagehand? Oh, yes. I forgot. As the curtain goes up in ten minutes, If you have any bright ideas they'd better to equal faster.' 'Cannon.' what?' 'Mr Cannon?' 'Yeah?' 'Look, I wonder if you could help us out. In the first act the sort of butler to the abbot walks on with a tray. It's one of the men the, the abbot's rehabilitated, a gross coarse sort of man who speaks with a rough accent. Now all he has to do is walk on with the tray, put it down and say to the abbot, it's a cloudy day, abbot, but the birds is singing.' Yes. Then he sits in a chair and goes to sleep. He stays there until the end of the first act. It's really quite easy.
Well, sure, if you think I look that rough. How about Jason will help you with your makeup and with his accent? Accent? Of course. The man must be ugly and speak with a coarse accent. It sets the mood of the play, illustrates what sort of man the abbot is trying to reclaim into society. Yeah. Well, I've seen the play. 'Then you'll know what I mean. Gopi can lift anything back here.' 'I never lift stuffy when I'm on an honest job.' no, no, no. That's that's not what he meant, Gopi.' 'Gopi?
[00:08:07] Unknown:
Yes, Gopi. You're the answer to a maiden's prayer. Are you trying to be funny, mate?' no, no, of course not. Then I watch it, Charlie.
[00:08:13] Unknown:
I don't know. With geezers who use lipstick.' 'Now take it easy, Guppy, because everybody who works on stage uses makeup.' you see what I'm thinking, Rodgeron?' 'Yes. Guppy looks the part and spits the part. In fact, he's perfect. Even better than Sammy North. Look, Guppy. All you have to do is to walk on when I tell you. Jason MacIver here will be sitting in that chair. See?
[00:08:32] Unknown:
Now you carry him a drink on a tray. Just like a waiter in a pub? Yes. You just put it down and you say It's a clodgy day, Abbott, but the bird is singing. I heard you the first time. I ain't got cloth ears, you know? Oh, fabulous. Then you'll do it, Guppy? What's in it? An extra £2. I could do with an extra £3.
[00:08:49] Unknown:
5 minutes. It's just time to make him up. Come on, Guppy. Where to? My dressing room. I've got to make you up. Not on your nearly, mate. You ain't putting no powder and scent on me. No. Can you help, Mr. Cannon?
[00:09:00] Unknown:
Now look, Guppy. I, I wouldn't give you a wrong steer, now would I? Nope. Well, if you go on stage you have to be made up. You can wash it off again afterwards. There's there's nothing sissy about it. From out front it looks better, that's all. It makes you look, well, it makes you look more manly. Now be a good fellow and go with mister Jason McKibber.
[00:09:18] Unknown:
Alright. I'll do it if you say so, Canon. Good, Joe. It's all for art, Bobby. No. It ain't. It's for Canon. I wouldn't do it for nobody else, and that's a fact. And you better watch it, mate, when we're in that dressing room. I've got my protector here. And what's that? A razor. Oh, you mustn't shave, Gopi. Oh, no. No. No. You're just light as you are. Hey. Did you hear that, Canon? This bloke's dead ignorant. You know that, mate? You are dead ignorant.
[00:09:44] Unknown:
Dead ignorant. Two words that might have constituted Gopi's epitaph. The play began to a packed audience, eager for the drama and slightly annoyed at a tea girl who accidentally dropped her tray full of empty cups at the beginning of the first act.
[00:10:00] Unknown:
A malcontent is made, not born, sir Peter. All men are born innocent.
[00:10:05] Unknown:
It's environment that sows the seeds of evil. My dear abbot. With respect for your cloth, I humbly disagree.
[00:10:13] Unknown:
More evil is among the rich than the poor. Not if the spirit is enriched, sir Peter. The humblest man can store a treasure in his heart. Ah, yes. My man, Grunter. It's a cloudy day Abbott,
[00:10:25] Unknown:
but the birds is singing.
[00:10:28] Unknown:
Thank you, Grunter. Grunter's a case in point of. Good heavens, Abbot. The man's gone to sleep on the cow. Yes. Yes. He always does. A faithful retainer, grunter. And yet if you listen to his history and background
[00:10:47] Unknown:
And the audience, forgetting the untimely interruption of the tea tray, settled back to enjoy the acting skills of Mortimer McArstairs and Jason MacIver, as they unfolded the threads of their play with the inert figure of Gopi as their backdrop. The first act ended to tumultuous applause as the curtains closed, screening the feverish activity of the stagehands preparing the set for act two.
[00:11:13] Unknown:
Okay. Get that finished round. Copy.
[00:11:16] Unknown:
Hey, copy. What's with him? He's played the part too well. He's fallen fast asleep. Come on copy. Wake up fellow. You're a stagehand again. Copy. Come on. Your acting days are over. You've gotta Hurry, Kevin. Will do. It's time for the truck. Hold it. Just a minute. Hold everything.
[00:11:32] Unknown:
What do you see you're doing, Cannon?
[00:11:34] Unknown:
Look. Good grief.
[00:11:38] Unknown:
Blood. It's dead. Yeah. But what what How?
[00:11:43] Unknown:
A bullet right through the heart.
[00:11:53] Unknown:
Oh, hello Mortimer. Did they manage to give everyone their money back without any trouble? Not much trouble anyway. Have the police gone? Yes. The body? Yes. Gone too. No. Oh, it's fantastic. It just doesn't make sense. Why? He was a bad egg. It could have been anyone in the underworld.
[00:12:11] Unknown:
'Wrong.' 'What's that?' 'I said wrong. He wasn't a bad egg.' 'But you said yourself that he'd joined a razor gang, that he'd just come down from Dartmoor Prison?' 'Garpie wasn't bad in that sense and he never used a razor on anybody. That was just big talk. The girl who dropped the tea tray, No way she can be found? Tea tray? You heard the crash in the first act before Gaffney went to sleep on the couch. Oh, yes. Why do you want to know, Calum? Well, whoever fired the shot that killed Gaffney did it from the back of the gallery. He timed the shot to coincide with the crash of that tray. Therefore the girl was an accomplice. She dropped the tray, the assassin pulled the trigger, and nobody was any the wiser until the end of the first act because Gotti was sleeping on the couch.
[00:12:49] Unknown:
'He's right, Jason.' 'I know, but that's just it. The murder was premeditated.
[00:12:54] Unknown:
So Goppie must have had an enemy you don't know about.' 'Goppie was shot by accident.' what? You don't mean they were after me?' no, no, no. I don't. Goppie was never meant to go on stage. Nobody could have known he'd be on stage or that he was even at the theatre until he walked out there. So it couldn't have been premeditated for Guppy.' 'But who then?' 'Sammy North. The man who rang just before the show to say he couldn't make it.' 'Sammy North?' 'Yeah. And now you know why he couldn't make it. Somebody must have tipped him off. Sammy knew the chips were down so he rang to say he couldn't come.
We rang the changes with Guppy and sent him out there to a certain death.' 'But we can't be blamed. We couldn't possibly have known.' 'Then take it easy, Mr MacIver. Nobody's blaming you. But I aim to find Sammy North and when I do he'll talk.
[00:13:48] Unknown:
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[00:15:43] Unknown:
Sure the water hog is never
[00:16:04] Unknown:
I don't want to be disrespectful about your police force but this time a murder will wind up in the unsolved file if I don't do something about it. Well, how can you be so so sure? Because Gapi had a record. I know he was shot by accident but the cops won't figure that way. Gapi was mixed up with Jack Dutt and that's some tough boy. He boasted that he was carrying a razor for the gang. Now that's hooey but the cops won't figure it like that. They'll say he was gunned down by a rival gang, assassin or assassins unknown. Who cares anyway what happens to a bum with a record?'
[00:16:34] Unknown:
'If you're convinced, sir, there's well, there's nothing I can say, sir. What will you do?'
[00:16:40] Unknown:
Well, I'll mosey around and see what I can find now. Millie's joint and Soho disturbing. What about this man Sammy North? The front is Diggs. The line lady said he wasn't in and she didn't know when to expect him. Said I might fight him at the theatre. But I thought he rang to say he was sick. Sick.' 'He was sick all right with fear. But he wasn't bedridden. And that proves my theory anyway. I checked on the doll who dropped that train. She left with her bag packed this morning and left no forwarding address.' 'So you're up against a brick wall before you start?' 'Not quite. When I sounded groppy out on this job, he said something. He said there was bad feeling between Billy Mills' mob and Italian Henley.
Now the latter gentleman uses Millie's place in Soho. It's just a hunch and it nothing but it's worth a try. What's this, a gun?
[00:17:27] Unknown:
I have a feeling, Cameron, that these gentlemen don't fight with powder puffs.
[00:17:31] Unknown:
Okay.
[00:17:33] Unknown:
What's the other gun for? Me?
[00:17:35] Unknown:
You? I've never met anyone with a name like Italian Henry. He sounds like a well, a very colorful chap. 'Now wait a minute, chief. This is my fight.' 'Mine too. For a brief few hours Gotti was on the payroll of assignments unlimited. I'm as anxious as you are to avenge his death. But, chief, you don't ' And I can be every bit as stubborn as you can, Cameron, so you might as well save your breath.'
[00:17:55] Unknown:
Okay, chief. That's the way you want it. Come on. Let's go slumming. Slumming, did you say, Cameron? Well, this place looks rather high close. Yeah. Especially the Czech. And now, chief, that's, that's Italian here, man, on the dance floor with a broad and green. And we sit here until he's finished his dance and then call him over. Well, how do you know where he'll sit? Because he always takes this next table in the corner. In his profession, it's safer to sit with your back to the wall and with a clear view of the door. And Milly always vets the customers who sit at this table.
Well, she obviously knows you, Alan. Obviously. Now you see that guy against the bar with the tenors and knife skirt? Well, that's Italian Henry's hatchet man. The suit comes from Savile Row, and the bad fit is on account of what he carries under his armpit. Expensive tailors won't fit on a suit for a guy carrying artillery.
[00:18:44] Unknown:
It's a world of its own. The underworld.
[00:18:47] Unknown:
And some of these jerks are on speaking terms with the aristocracy. Break for the band and a break for me, I hope. Here he comes. Now don't worry about him. His manners are perfect. He'd slit your throat for a fiver, but he'd say he was sorry he was doing it. You dance divinely, Carissa.
[00:19:04] Unknown:
Such a talent should be rewarded with champagne. Not for you, the cheap cider and the soda water.
[00:19:11] Unknown:
Hi, Italian. Who's that? Cannon. Remember me? I, I pulled you out of that car on the Kingston Bypass when you had that,
[00:19:20] Unknown:
accident. Can yes. Of course. I remember. Did I? Thank you for that profusely. Can I talk to you from there? As you see, I am otherwise engaged. But for an old friend, I can always spare a few moments.
[00:19:34] Unknown:
Stay at the table, Kennedy. I shall just be a moment.
[00:19:38] Unknown:
I don't think I've had the pleasure of Oh, this this is mister Mason, Aubrey Mason, my boss.
[00:19:43] Unknown:
How do you do, sir? I do all right.
[00:19:46] Unknown:
So what is it, Ken?
[00:19:49] Unknown:
A man was shot dead tonight in His Majesty's Theatre. That's right. I know. No. But the audience wasn't told, and nobody'll know until the morning papers are out. Except the people who make the morning papers,
[00:20:01] Unknown:
Oh, I see. I have friends everywhere, mister Cannon. Even on the Kingston and the Bipartisan.
[00:20:08] Unknown:
Tell me, have you got a a friend who told you didn't? Possibly.
[00:20:13] Unknown:
You, you care to let me in on a secret? Now look, mister Cannon. There are things that are maybe left better alone. Capito? I didn't kill him. None of my boys had killed him, but that was just a coincidence. I had one of the boys awaiting outside the theater for the end of the performance. I had the boys on the lookout at the railway stations. I wanted to kill him, mister McKenna, but somebody did it for me. So I called the boys back and we celebrated movies. Somebody did my dirty work for me. I don't know who, but if it was you, I'll buy you a bottle of champagne. No. No. No. It wasn't me.
Alright.
[00:20:51] Unknown:
Then there's no more to say, is there, mister Cannon? Italian, do you know the name of the guy who got shot?
[00:20:57] Unknown:
Good night, mister Cannon. Good night.
[00:21:00] Unknown:
Why did you ask him that?
[00:21:02] Unknown:
Well, maybe he doesn't know it was the wrong guy. But he said his informant was a member of the press. Look, the police don't always release the name before identification.
[00:21:10] Unknown:
He has informers everywhere. If it was Gaffey, he was after he may have had him followed to the theater. Nobody could have known it was Guppy on stage of that I'm certain. Mr. Cannon?
[00:21:20] Unknown:
Oh, my glad I found you here. Oh, Mr. Mason. Hello, Mr. Carstairs. I didn't expect to find you here. Well, I'm a frequent visitor. My clubs fascinate me. Do I do sit down? No, thanks. I traced you through your switchboard girl. Oh, most intelligent girl. She gave me a list of places you might be at and this was the first one. Alright. Shoot. What's new? Well, after you've gone, I made a few inquiries among the cast. They've gone to the captain's cabin for a snifter.
[00:21:43] Unknown:
Can't say I blame them. I was a bit shaken myself. Anyway, I found out something that may be important, so I thought I'd try and trace you and tell you.' 'All right, I'm all ears.'
[00:21:52] Unknown:
'That girl who dropped the tray, her name is Betty Fuller and she's Semien Lord's girlfriend.
[00:21:59] Unknown:
Oh, it isn't important?
[00:22:01] Unknown:
'Costezo. Why it's more than important. It's vital.' why, Kelly?' 'Before I answer that, I want a word with Billy Mills, the rival gang leader.' why Billy Mills?' 'Because Italian Henry won't talk anymore. He's got impeccable manners but, a very short temper. Is he here, this, Billy Mills? No. No. You won't find one of his more within a mile of here. There's a gang war in progress. He'll be on the other side of town at Tubby Dino's. You better go home, mister Garcia. Not on your life. I've got the bit between the teeth. For one night, I work in the theater and now everybody wants to be out on the act. Okay. But it's on your own head.
[00:22:38] Unknown:
Dino's,
[00:22:39] Unknown:
That's a nice restaurant. These boys don't play for chicken feed. Now sit down, fellas. That's, that's Billy in the corner. I'll, I'll go over and talk to him. Hi, Billy. The name's Cannon. I, I wanted some information on a guy called Sammy North. Beat it. It's, it's important, Billy. I gotta know. Beat it.
[00:23:11] Unknown:
Okay. Well?
[00:23:13] Unknown:
He,
[00:23:14] Unknown:
he wouldn't commit himself. Well, what do we do now?
[00:23:17] Unknown:
There's nothing we can do, is there? They can't make him talk, so Sammy North gets clear away. You're looking for Sammy North, mate. Yeah. You know where I can find him?
[00:23:28] Unknown:
Try the mortuary.
[00:23:30] Unknown:
I've heard they're, keeping him on ice. 'I got news for you, my friend. Sammy North is very much alive.' don't argue with me, boy. Ain't Alfie?' you, one of the Mills mob?' don't get insulting, neither.' 'I'm sorry, did I. Only asked a civil question. Look, when you talk to Jack Dot you make it very simple that, did you say Jack Dot? That's right, boy.
[00:23:53] Unknown:
And when I say Sammy North's in a drawer in the morgue, that's where he is.
[00:23:59] Unknown:
This is my lucky day.' 'What's with you?' 'Jack, did you know a guy called Gopi?' 'Yeah, look, why the past tense?' 'Because it's Gopi who's in that drawer.' what are you, a comedian?' 'It wasn't Sammy North who was killed in the theatre tonight. It was Gopi. He was shot by accident. Well, maybe not by accident either. But it was Gopi who copped it, not Sammy.' 'Yeah. Tell me more, friend.' Before I do, this is, Mona McCarstez who plays Sir Peter in the plane. Now I was working backstage. Gopi was helping me. He was a friend of mine.
[00:24:32] Unknown:
Gopi. Was Billy Mills' male matters? No. He wouldn't speak to me. 'So I
[00:24:37] Unknown:
noticed. Well, what do you wanna know, boy?' 'Anything you can tell me about Sammy North?' 'He runs a sleek record for Billy. Got a boat down at Anglesey. He was supposed to bring in a load of snow but he doubled Italian Henry. Now there's a gang war and Italian Henry says he he had him knocked off.' 'Anglesey.
[00:24:53] Unknown:
Now if he caught a leg train we might just beat him to it by car.' why are you so interested in Sammy North?' well, you don't mind, Jack, but this guy not only double crossed Italian Henry but he's doing the same to Billy Mills and boy is that guy gonna be sore when he finds out. And you better tell Billy? I told you that guy just won't listen. Yeah. Well, good luck, boy. Guppy was a friend of mine too. Thanks, Jay. Okay, fellas. Come on. Let's drive. Now that must be the boat against the pier. You see anybody? Another son of light? Well, then we must have beaten him to it. Well, should we wait on board? Mm-mm. Better not. You can only get to the boat along this pier. If we wait for him here, we can nab him when he tries to go aboard. We expect he'll have a girl there.
[00:25:34] Unknown:
'Luke Cannon, coming down the cliff path.
[00:25:38] Unknown:
Is that North?' 'Let him and Betty Fuller, the waitress.' and the murderers. Well, keep down. Keep down because we don't want them to see us.' 'They stay that way, boys.'
[00:25:49] Unknown:
What the devil Stay very quiet.
[00:25:52] Unknown:
Sammy North goes aboard, all right? He's got a gun, and I can use it too. I'll be quiet. I'll look you'll be sorry for this, Jack. You don't understand. I understand very good, boy. Just stay where you are. Your Peter, get clear away.
[00:26:04] Unknown:
You get something all right.
[00:26:10] Unknown:
But why are you helping him?' 'Helping him, the boy?'
[00:26:17] Unknown:
well, what a caper.' His boat blew up.'
[00:26:21] Unknown:
oh no.' 'I've got a faster car than you, boy.' 'Not only that. Sammy North was a rat. And like I said, Gopi was a very good friend.' Sammy North's acting was only a front to cover his smuggling activities. He knew that Italian Henry was out to kill him and that all the railway stations were being watched to prevent him making a getaway. So he telephoned at the last minute to say he couldn't get away to the theatre, knowing that Carstairs would use one of the stagehands to fill in. It was Sammy who shot and killed Gopi. He'd have killed anyone who stood in, reasoning that Italian Henry would call off the mob thinking the man who had been killed was Sammy himself.
This was precisely what happened, and he'd have got away with it had it not been for Canon's chance meeting with Jack Dutt.
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[00:00:34] Unknown:
What time is it? 10:30 and a beautiful morning. The morning is never beautiful, Mortimer. For lovers and poets but never for thespians.
[00:00:42] Unknown:
The night is for actors. Well, stop acting for a minute and give me your undivided attention. It must be serious if you drag me out of bed at 10:00 in the morning. It is. An hour ago, I had a deputation from the stagehands. They won't be working tonight. Oh, not a strike. Not those layabouts. Call it what you will, but unless I can find two good men to move the truck on stage for the second act, we'll have to put up the notices. Close the show because of a couple of stagehands. What nonsense.
[00:01:05] Unknown:
Assignments unlimited will supply you with a couple of hands. Assignments
[00:01:09] Unknown:
unlimited?
[00:01:10] Unknown:
What's that? It's a firm specialising in offbeat jobs. Go and see them. Their offices are in the West End, 30 3 Half Moon Street.
[00:01:47] Unknown:
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[00:03:46] Unknown:
I had labored under the misapprehension that Cannon's taste in theatre was restricted to the occasional visit to the windmill, all those gloomy speakeasies in Soho. I was therefore rather surprised when I learned that he'd seen the sophisticated play 'Chanchon, the abbey', currently playing at His Majesty's in the Haymarket. I discovered this cultured side to the Canon character when a flowery and flamboyant gentleman called at my office to recruit a couple of stagehands for the play. We were particularly busy at the time and I was able to offer the services of only one man, De Witt Cannon. But he, having seen the play, knew roughly what was required and was able to recruit the second helper from among the twilight set who live on the fringe of society and the edge of the law. His theatrical employer didn't seem to mind and so I decided to give Canon his head and hope for the best.
[00:04:38] Unknown:
Hello, Guppy. Hello. Haven't Haven't seen you standing on this corner for a long time. Been doing a two stretch on the mower. When did you get out? Last week. You, you doing anything special? In a matter of speaking.
[00:04:51] Unknown:
But you're not speaking. As a matter of fact, I'm carrying a razor for Jack Dot.
[00:04:56] Unknown:
How's business? Sharp. You, you want a night's work tonight on the level? What should it? Sweet quit. Tell him what? Stagehand over at his majesty's.
[00:05:06] Unknown:
I'll be with you backstage at 07:30 if you can get away. Hold on. As a matter of fact, things are quiet on the row. I've heard there's a lot of trouble between Billy Mills mob and Italian Henry. So the dot mob sit on the sidelines,
[00:05:19] Unknown:
See you there at about seven. Four quid, did you say? Uh-uh. 3. Over there. I'll do it 3p in. Okay. Tell them at the stage door you're being gazed by mister Mortimer Carstairs, and don't forget, otherwise, they may not let you in. Not let me in. That's your car map. Oh, yeah. And, leave your at home. Oh, mate. Why don't you pick me chief? Well, just so long as you don't pick a fight. See you, Agape. Seven thirty at the stage door.
[00:05:45] Unknown:
I want to see a geezer called Castes, granted. Someone want me. Good evening. Who are you? The new stage
[00:05:53] Unknown:
here. You? What's wrong with me? Nothing. Nothing at all. Hang on. Canon?
[00:05:58] Unknown:
Coming.
[00:05:59] Unknown:
Yeah. What is it, mister Carstairs? Oh, Gopi. You made it. Good boy. This is the fellow that's gonna help with the truck. Call him Gopi.
[00:06:07] Unknown:
Gopi? What does he do in his spare time?
[00:06:10] Unknown:
Well, you, you might say he's a sort of, a trimmer. Oh, seemingly.
[00:06:15] Unknown:
Well, alright. Get in the wings. I'd just like to see you move that truck on once. Okay. Come on, Guppy. You lend a hand,
[00:06:22] Unknown:
Now let the brake off. Yeah.
[00:06:29] Unknown:
Yeah. No, it runs easily. There's a stop on the stage and so that it can't run too far.
[00:06:34] Unknown:
What about your friend? Guppy.
[00:06:37] Unknown:
Oh, yeah. Look, Guppy, you're supposed to help me push it. You never said If all stagehands were as strong as you, Mr. Cannon, we could operate on half the personnel. No. That'll be bad for the trade union council. Okay, Gaffney. Now push it back again. No. It's a jinx. It's a jinx I tell you more about. What's happened now? That nitwit of a bit player, Sammy North. Just tell if I were to say he's not feeling well and can't make it tonight at the last minute.
[00:07:00] Unknown:
Why didn't you ring earlier? I said Alright. Alright, Jason. It's not a disaster. He only comes on in the first act to say one line. Any one of the spare stagehands can do it. What spare stagehand? Oh, yes. I forgot. As the curtain goes up in ten minutes, If you have any bright ideas they'd better to equal faster.' 'Cannon.' what?' 'Mr Cannon?' 'Yeah?' 'Look, I wonder if you could help us out. In the first act the sort of butler to the abbot walks on with a tray. It's one of the men the, the abbot's rehabilitated, a gross coarse sort of man who speaks with a rough accent. Now all he has to do is walk on with the tray, put it down and say to the abbot, it's a cloudy day, abbot, but the birds is singing.' Yes. Then he sits in a chair and goes to sleep. He stays there until the end of the first act. It's really quite easy.
Well, sure, if you think I look that rough. How about Jason will help you with your makeup and with his accent? Accent? Of course. The man must be ugly and speak with a coarse accent. It sets the mood of the play, illustrates what sort of man the abbot is trying to reclaim into society. Yeah. Well, I've seen the play. 'Then you'll know what I mean. Gopi can lift anything back here.' 'I never lift stuffy when I'm on an honest job.' no, no, no. That's that's not what he meant, Gopi.' 'Gopi?
[00:08:07] Unknown:
Yes, Gopi. You're the answer to a maiden's prayer. Are you trying to be funny, mate?' no, no, of course not. Then I watch it, Charlie.
[00:08:13] Unknown:
I don't know. With geezers who use lipstick.' 'Now take it easy, Guppy, because everybody who works on stage uses makeup.' you see what I'm thinking, Rodgeron?' 'Yes. Guppy looks the part and spits the part. In fact, he's perfect. Even better than Sammy North. Look, Guppy. All you have to do is to walk on when I tell you. Jason MacIver here will be sitting in that chair. See?
[00:08:32] Unknown:
Now you carry him a drink on a tray. Just like a waiter in a pub? Yes. You just put it down and you say It's a clodgy day, Abbott, but the bird is singing. I heard you the first time. I ain't got cloth ears, you know? Oh, fabulous. Then you'll do it, Guppy? What's in it? An extra £2. I could do with an extra £3.
[00:08:49] Unknown:
5 minutes. It's just time to make him up. Come on, Guppy. Where to? My dressing room. I've got to make you up. Not on your nearly, mate. You ain't putting no powder and scent on me. No. Can you help, Mr. Cannon?
[00:09:00] Unknown:
Now look, Guppy. I, I wouldn't give you a wrong steer, now would I? Nope. Well, if you go on stage you have to be made up. You can wash it off again afterwards. There's there's nothing sissy about it. From out front it looks better, that's all. It makes you look, well, it makes you look more manly. Now be a good fellow and go with mister Jason McKibber.
[00:09:18] Unknown:
Alright. I'll do it if you say so, Canon. Good, Joe. It's all for art, Bobby. No. It ain't. It's for Canon. I wouldn't do it for nobody else, and that's a fact. And you better watch it, mate, when we're in that dressing room. I've got my protector here. And what's that? A razor. Oh, you mustn't shave, Gopi. Oh, no. No. No. You're just light as you are. Hey. Did you hear that, Canon? This bloke's dead ignorant. You know that, mate? You are dead ignorant.
[00:09:44] Unknown:
Dead ignorant. Two words that might have constituted Gopi's epitaph. The play began to a packed audience, eager for the drama and slightly annoyed at a tea girl who accidentally dropped her tray full of empty cups at the beginning of the first act.
[00:10:00] Unknown:
A malcontent is made, not born, sir Peter. All men are born innocent.
[00:10:05] Unknown:
It's environment that sows the seeds of evil. My dear abbot. With respect for your cloth, I humbly disagree.
[00:10:13] Unknown:
More evil is among the rich than the poor. Not if the spirit is enriched, sir Peter. The humblest man can store a treasure in his heart. Ah, yes. My man, Grunter. It's a cloudy day Abbott,
[00:10:25] Unknown:
but the birds is singing.
[00:10:28] Unknown:
Thank you, Grunter. Grunter's a case in point of. Good heavens, Abbot. The man's gone to sleep on the cow. Yes. Yes. He always does. A faithful retainer, grunter. And yet if you listen to his history and background
[00:10:47] Unknown:
And the audience, forgetting the untimely interruption of the tea tray, settled back to enjoy the acting skills of Mortimer McArstairs and Jason MacIver, as they unfolded the threads of their play with the inert figure of Gopi as their backdrop. The first act ended to tumultuous applause as the curtains closed, screening the feverish activity of the stagehands preparing the set for act two.
[00:11:13] Unknown:
Okay. Get that finished round. Copy.
[00:11:16] Unknown:
Hey, copy. What's with him? He's played the part too well. He's fallen fast asleep. Come on copy. Wake up fellow. You're a stagehand again. Copy. Come on. Your acting days are over. You've gotta Hurry, Kevin. Will do. It's time for the truck. Hold it. Just a minute. Hold everything.
[00:11:32] Unknown:
What do you see you're doing, Cannon?
[00:11:34] Unknown:
Look. Good grief.
[00:11:38] Unknown:
Blood. It's dead. Yeah. But what what How?
[00:11:43] Unknown:
A bullet right through the heart.
[00:11:53] Unknown:
Oh, hello Mortimer. Did they manage to give everyone their money back without any trouble? Not much trouble anyway. Have the police gone? Yes. The body? Yes. Gone too. No. Oh, it's fantastic. It just doesn't make sense. Why? He was a bad egg. It could have been anyone in the underworld.
[00:12:11] Unknown:
'Wrong.' 'What's that?' 'I said wrong. He wasn't a bad egg.' 'But you said yourself that he'd joined a razor gang, that he'd just come down from Dartmoor Prison?' 'Garpie wasn't bad in that sense and he never used a razor on anybody. That was just big talk. The girl who dropped the tea tray, No way she can be found? Tea tray? You heard the crash in the first act before Gaffney went to sleep on the couch. Oh, yes. Why do you want to know, Calum? Well, whoever fired the shot that killed Gaffney did it from the back of the gallery. He timed the shot to coincide with the crash of that tray. Therefore the girl was an accomplice. She dropped the tray, the assassin pulled the trigger, and nobody was any the wiser until the end of the first act because Gotti was sleeping on the couch.
[00:12:49] Unknown:
'He's right, Jason.' 'I know, but that's just it. The murder was premeditated.
[00:12:54] Unknown:
So Goppie must have had an enemy you don't know about.' 'Goppie was shot by accident.' what? You don't mean they were after me?' no, no, no. I don't. Goppie was never meant to go on stage. Nobody could have known he'd be on stage or that he was even at the theatre until he walked out there. So it couldn't have been premeditated for Guppy.' 'But who then?' 'Sammy North. The man who rang just before the show to say he couldn't make it.' 'Sammy North?' 'Yeah. And now you know why he couldn't make it. Somebody must have tipped him off. Sammy knew the chips were down so he rang to say he couldn't come.
We rang the changes with Guppy and sent him out there to a certain death.' 'But we can't be blamed. We couldn't possibly have known.' 'Then take it easy, Mr MacIver. Nobody's blaming you. But I aim to find Sammy North and when I do he'll talk.
[00:13:48] Unknown:
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[00:15:43] Unknown:
Sure the water hog is never
[00:16:04] Unknown:
I don't want to be disrespectful about your police force but this time a murder will wind up in the unsolved file if I don't do something about it. Well, how can you be so so sure? Because Gapi had a record. I know he was shot by accident but the cops won't figure that way. Gapi was mixed up with Jack Dutt and that's some tough boy. He boasted that he was carrying a razor for the gang. Now that's hooey but the cops won't figure it like that. They'll say he was gunned down by a rival gang, assassin or assassins unknown. Who cares anyway what happens to a bum with a record?'
[00:16:34] Unknown:
'If you're convinced, sir, there's well, there's nothing I can say, sir. What will you do?'
[00:16:40] Unknown:
Well, I'll mosey around and see what I can find now. Millie's joint and Soho disturbing. What about this man Sammy North? The front is Diggs. The line lady said he wasn't in and she didn't know when to expect him. Said I might fight him at the theatre. But I thought he rang to say he was sick. Sick.' 'He was sick all right with fear. But he wasn't bedridden. And that proves my theory anyway. I checked on the doll who dropped that train. She left with her bag packed this morning and left no forwarding address.' 'So you're up against a brick wall before you start?' 'Not quite. When I sounded groppy out on this job, he said something. He said there was bad feeling between Billy Mills' mob and Italian Henley.
Now the latter gentleman uses Millie's place in Soho. It's just a hunch and it nothing but it's worth a try. What's this, a gun?
[00:17:27] Unknown:
I have a feeling, Cameron, that these gentlemen don't fight with powder puffs.
[00:17:31] Unknown:
Okay.
[00:17:33] Unknown:
What's the other gun for? Me?
[00:17:35] Unknown:
You? I've never met anyone with a name like Italian Henry. He sounds like a well, a very colorful chap. 'Now wait a minute, chief. This is my fight.' 'Mine too. For a brief few hours Gotti was on the payroll of assignments unlimited. I'm as anxious as you are to avenge his death. But, chief, you don't ' And I can be every bit as stubborn as you can, Cameron, so you might as well save your breath.'
[00:17:55] Unknown:
Okay, chief. That's the way you want it. Come on. Let's go slumming. Slumming, did you say, Cameron? Well, this place looks rather high close. Yeah. Especially the Czech. And now, chief, that's, that's Italian here, man, on the dance floor with a broad and green. And we sit here until he's finished his dance and then call him over. Well, how do you know where he'll sit? Because he always takes this next table in the corner. In his profession, it's safer to sit with your back to the wall and with a clear view of the door. And Milly always vets the customers who sit at this table.
Well, she obviously knows you, Alan. Obviously. Now you see that guy against the bar with the tenors and knife skirt? Well, that's Italian Henry's hatchet man. The suit comes from Savile Row, and the bad fit is on account of what he carries under his armpit. Expensive tailors won't fit on a suit for a guy carrying artillery.
[00:18:44] Unknown:
It's a world of its own. The underworld.
[00:18:47] Unknown:
And some of these jerks are on speaking terms with the aristocracy. Break for the band and a break for me, I hope. Here he comes. Now don't worry about him. His manners are perfect. He'd slit your throat for a fiver, but he'd say he was sorry he was doing it. You dance divinely, Carissa.
[00:19:04] Unknown:
Such a talent should be rewarded with champagne. Not for you, the cheap cider and the soda water.
[00:19:11] Unknown:
Hi, Italian. Who's that? Cannon. Remember me? I, I pulled you out of that car on the Kingston Bypass when you had that,
[00:19:20] Unknown:
accident. Can yes. Of course. I remember. Did I? Thank you for that profusely. Can I talk to you from there? As you see, I am otherwise engaged. But for an old friend, I can always spare a few moments.
[00:19:34] Unknown:
Stay at the table, Kennedy. I shall just be a moment.
[00:19:38] Unknown:
I don't think I've had the pleasure of Oh, this this is mister Mason, Aubrey Mason, my boss.
[00:19:43] Unknown:
How do you do, sir? I do all right.
[00:19:46] Unknown:
So what is it, Ken?
[00:19:49] Unknown:
A man was shot dead tonight in His Majesty's Theatre. That's right. I know. No. But the audience wasn't told, and nobody'll know until the morning papers are out. Except the people who make the morning papers,
[00:20:01] Unknown:
Oh, I see. I have friends everywhere, mister Cannon. Even on the Kingston and the Bipartisan.
[00:20:08] Unknown:
Tell me, have you got a a friend who told you didn't? Possibly.
[00:20:13] Unknown:
You, you care to let me in on a secret? Now look, mister Cannon. There are things that are maybe left better alone. Capito? I didn't kill him. None of my boys had killed him, but that was just a coincidence. I had one of the boys awaiting outside the theater for the end of the performance. I had the boys on the lookout at the railway stations. I wanted to kill him, mister McKenna, but somebody did it for me. So I called the boys back and we celebrated movies. Somebody did my dirty work for me. I don't know who, but if it was you, I'll buy you a bottle of champagne. No. No. No. It wasn't me.
Alright.
[00:20:51] Unknown:
Then there's no more to say, is there, mister Cannon? Italian, do you know the name of the guy who got shot?
[00:20:57] Unknown:
Good night, mister Cannon. Good night.
[00:21:00] Unknown:
Why did you ask him that?
[00:21:02] Unknown:
Well, maybe he doesn't know it was the wrong guy. But he said his informant was a member of the press. Look, the police don't always release the name before identification.
[00:21:10] Unknown:
He has informers everywhere. If it was Gaffey, he was after he may have had him followed to the theater. Nobody could have known it was Guppy on stage of that I'm certain. Mr. Cannon?
[00:21:20] Unknown:
Oh, my glad I found you here. Oh, Mr. Mason. Hello, Mr. Carstairs. I didn't expect to find you here. Well, I'm a frequent visitor. My clubs fascinate me. Do I do sit down? No, thanks. I traced you through your switchboard girl. Oh, most intelligent girl. She gave me a list of places you might be at and this was the first one. Alright. Shoot. What's new? Well, after you've gone, I made a few inquiries among the cast. They've gone to the captain's cabin for a snifter.
[00:21:43] Unknown:
Can't say I blame them. I was a bit shaken myself. Anyway, I found out something that may be important, so I thought I'd try and trace you and tell you.' 'All right, I'm all ears.'
[00:21:52] Unknown:
'That girl who dropped the tray, her name is Betty Fuller and she's Semien Lord's girlfriend.
[00:21:59] Unknown:
Oh, it isn't important?
[00:22:01] Unknown:
'Costezo. Why it's more than important. It's vital.' why, Kelly?' 'Before I answer that, I want a word with Billy Mills, the rival gang leader.' why Billy Mills?' 'Because Italian Henry won't talk anymore. He's got impeccable manners but, a very short temper. Is he here, this, Billy Mills? No. No. You won't find one of his more within a mile of here. There's a gang war in progress. He'll be on the other side of town at Tubby Dino's. You better go home, mister Garcia. Not on your life. I've got the bit between the teeth. For one night, I work in the theater and now everybody wants to be out on the act. Okay. But it's on your own head.
[00:22:38] Unknown:
Dino's,
[00:22:39] Unknown:
That's a nice restaurant. These boys don't play for chicken feed. Now sit down, fellas. That's, that's Billy in the corner. I'll, I'll go over and talk to him. Hi, Billy. The name's Cannon. I, I wanted some information on a guy called Sammy North. Beat it. It's, it's important, Billy. I gotta know. Beat it.
[00:23:11] Unknown:
Okay. Well?
[00:23:13] Unknown:
He,
[00:23:14] Unknown:
he wouldn't commit himself. Well, what do we do now?
[00:23:17] Unknown:
There's nothing we can do, is there? They can't make him talk, so Sammy North gets clear away. You're looking for Sammy North, mate. Yeah. You know where I can find him?
[00:23:28] Unknown:
Try the mortuary.
[00:23:30] Unknown:
I've heard they're, keeping him on ice. 'I got news for you, my friend. Sammy North is very much alive.' don't argue with me, boy. Ain't Alfie?' you, one of the Mills mob?' don't get insulting, neither.' 'I'm sorry, did I. Only asked a civil question. Look, when you talk to Jack Dot you make it very simple that, did you say Jack Dot? That's right, boy.
[00:23:53] Unknown:
And when I say Sammy North's in a drawer in the morgue, that's where he is.
[00:23:59] Unknown:
This is my lucky day.' 'What's with you?' 'Jack, did you know a guy called Gopi?' 'Yeah, look, why the past tense?' 'Because it's Gopi who's in that drawer.' what are you, a comedian?' 'It wasn't Sammy North who was killed in the theatre tonight. It was Gopi. He was shot by accident. Well, maybe not by accident either. But it was Gopi who copped it, not Sammy.' 'Yeah. Tell me more, friend.' Before I do, this is, Mona McCarstez who plays Sir Peter in the plane. Now I was working backstage. Gopi was helping me. He was a friend of mine.
[00:24:32] Unknown:
Gopi. Was Billy Mills' male matters? No. He wouldn't speak to me. 'So I
[00:24:37] Unknown:
noticed. Well, what do you wanna know, boy?' 'Anything you can tell me about Sammy North?' 'He runs a sleek record for Billy. Got a boat down at Anglesey. He was supposed to bring in a load of snow but he doubled Italian Henry. Now there's a gang war and Italian Henry says he he had him knocked off.' 'Anglesey.
[00:24:53] Unknown:
Now if he caught a leg train we might just beat him to it by car.' why are you so interested in Sammy North?' well, you don't mind, Jack, but this guy not only double crossed Italian Henry but he's doing the same to Billy Mills and boy is that guy gonna be sore when he finds out. And you better tell Billy? I told you that guy just won't listen. Yeah. Well, good luck, boy. Guppy was a friend of mine too. Thanks, Jay. Okay, fellas. Come on. Let's drive. Now that must be the boat against the pier. You see anybody? Another son of light? Well, then we must have beaten him to it. Well, should we wait on board? Mm-mm. Better not. You can only get to the boat along this pier. If we wait for him here, we can nab him when he tries to go aboard. We expect he'll have a girl there.
[00:25:34] Unknown:
'Luke Cannon, coming down the cliff path.
[00:25:38] Unknown:
Is that North?' 'Let him and Betty Fuller, the waitress.' and the murderers. Well, keep down. Keep down because we don't want them to see us.' 'They stay that way, boys.'
[00:25:49] Unknown:
What the devil Stay very quiet.
[00:25:52] Unknown:
Sammy North goes aboard, all right? He's got a gun, and I can use it too. I'll be quiet. I'll look you'll be sorry for this, Jack. You don't understand. I understand very good, boy. Just stay where you are. Your Peter, get clear away.
[00:26:04] Unknown:
You get something all right.
[00:26:10] Unknown:
But why are you helping him?' 'Helping him, the boy?'
[00:26:17] Unknown:
well, what a caper.' His boat blew up.'
[00:26:21] Unknown:
oh no.' 'I've got a faster car than you, boy.' 'Not only that. Sammy North was a rat. And like I said, Gopi was a very good friend.' Sammy North's acting was only a front to cover his smuggling activities. He knew that Italian Henry was out to kill him and that all the railway stations were being watched to prevent him making a getaway. So he telephoned at the last minute to say he couldn't get away to the theatre, knowing that Carstairs would use one of the stagehands to fill in. It was Sammy who shot and killed Gopi. He'd have killed anyone who stood in, reasoning that Italian Henry would call off the mob thinking the man who had been killed was Sammy himself.
This was precisely what happened, and he'd have got away with it had it not been for Canon's chance meeting with Jack Dutt.
