In this intriguing episode of "Assignments Unlimited," we delve into a captivating tale titled "Parsons Pride." Aubrey Mason, the head of Assignments Unlimited, recounts an unusual case involving a glamorous client, Mrs. Angela Parsons, who seeks help retrieving a valuable diamond earring lost in the air duct of a hotel. As the story unfolds, it becomes clear that the earring is not the only thing at stake. Mrs. Parsons is embroiled in a blackmail scheme involving compromising photographs of her husband, leading to a tense encounter with the blackmailer, Cyril Purdy. The episode explores themes of deception, courage, and the unexpected twists of human relationships.
As the plot thickens, David Cannon, an operative from Assignments Unlimited, is tasked with retrieving the lost item. However, the mission takes an unexpected turn when the true identity of Mrs. Parsons is revealed, and her motives come to light. The episode concludes with a surprising twist, as Lady Geraldine Farquharson, the real identity of Mrs. Parsons, uses the photographs to secure her future, leaving the blackmailer empty-handed. This episode is a thrilling exploration of human nature, filled with suspense, wit, and a touch of irony.
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Entertainment Radio | Broadcasting Classic Radio Shows | Patreon
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
[00:00:00]
Unknown:
Warby Mason at your service. At assignments unlimited, we do anything, anywhere, at any time. 33
[00:00:08] Unknown:
Half Moon Street.
[00:00:28] Unknown:
The moment you feel a cold coming on, turn to Snellerin for help. Snellerin is a tried effective remedy that defeats flu misery. You feel better quickly with Snellerin.
[00:00:39] Unknown:
What does tomorrow hold for you? All the good things in life? Then you'd better start planning for them now by saving regularly each month. Yes, you've got a plan and you've got to save. Let's get together with the NBS.
[00:00:52] Unknown:
Save your money. Yes. Yes. Save for about tomorrow. Save NBS.
[00:00:58] Unknown:
Yes. NBS. Yes. The Natal Building Society is the ideal choice for today's young people because the NBS is South Africa's go ahead building society.
[00:01:09] Unknown:
Motorists. The new name for all genuine Ford parts is FOMOCO, f o m o c o. To get high precision parts that are made right to fit right, make sure they carry the name FOMOCO.
[00:01:29] Unknown:
The story I'm going to tell you tonight, taken from a dossier of an assignment we handle is called Parsons Pride.
[00:01:37] Unknown:
Here now is Aubrey Mason.
[00:01:47] Unknown:
What a mistake it is to judge people by their appearance. This is a fact which has been brought home to me many, many times since assignment unlimited came into being. The assignment I'm going to tell you about tonight will prove my point very forcibly. It began when the intercom on my desk buzzed. A missus Parsons, who has an appointment for 03:00, has arrived. Should I send her through? Yes, please. At that moment, well, she was only a name in my diary. Missus A Parsons. For the next moment, the door opened.
[00:02:19] Unknown:
Mrs Parsons.
[00:02:30] Unknown:
She was tall, about five foot six, but her auburn hair piled on top of her head made her look taller and slimmer than ever. She had an exquisite face set on a long neck. She was expensively dressed and immaculately groomed. Her eyes were big and and her mouth was soft and generous. I put her age at about 38. I stood to receive her, and she extended a white gloved hand in greeting. How do you do, Mrs. Parsons? How do you do? Oh, please sit down. Down. Oh,
[00:02:59] Unknown:
thank you.
[00:03:01] Unknown:
Marilyn, how can I help you?
[00:03:04] Unknown:
May I preference what I'm going to say by showing you something? Well, of course. It's in my bag. Here we are.
[00:03:15] Unknown:
Are. Diamonds.
[00:03:17] Unknown:
Beautiful diamonds too. To be more precise, mister Mason, a diamond earring.
[00:03:22] Unknown:
Exquisite.
[00:03:23] Unknown:
Tell me more. It's one of a pair valued at £5,000. The other is lost, or rather, it's not lost. It's This sounds so silly. I know where it is, but I can't get at it. That's why I've come here.
[00:03:38] Unknown:
Do I take it that the earring is inaccessible and, will you want us to retrieve it for you? Miss. Mason. Oh, it sounds intriguing. Before we go any further, may I take down a few particulars? Certainly. Now, your, your full name is? Angela
[00:03:54] Unknown:
Parsons. Angela
[00:03:57] Unknown:
Parsons. Your address? I
[00:04:00] Unknown:
my home address is Harrogate in Yorkshire, but I'm staying at the Hilton hotel in Park Lane. I came down here to do some shopping and see some shows. Oh, I see. Well, thank you.
[00:04:11] Unknown:
And, where is the earring? At the Hilton hotel
[00:04:15] Unknown:
in the basement.
[00:04:16] Unknown:
Yes.
[00:04:18] Unknown:
I have a room on the First Floor. Last evening, I'd been out to dinner in the theater with some friends. It was quite late when I got back. In fact, it was during the early hours. I was very tired, and I'm afraid I was rather careless. I took off my earrings and necklace and put them on the dressing table. This morning I ordered breakfast in my room. The waitress came in with a tray and I had it at my bedside. When I'd finished, I wanted to tidy the place up a bit, so I moved the tray and put it on the end of the dressing table. When I put it down, I I pushed it on so that it would be safer, but in doing so, the back of the tray pushed my jewellery.
Well, in in the wall, behind the dressing table, there's a vent. And when I pushed the tray, the back of the tray pushed one of my earrings into the vent. Well, of course, I realized immediately what I'd done, and I called the hotel manager.
[00:05:17] Unknown:
I'm sorry to have been so long, missus Parsons. I came as soon as I could. Now, what seemed to be the trouble? The earring which matches this one is is in there, in that vent. It was my fault. I pushed it with my breakfast tray. Oh, dear. I wanted to get somebody up here to remove the grill and get my earring out. Well, I'm afraid it's not going to be as easy as that. You see, that grill is part of our air conditioning. The air is extracted through it, goes down to the basement through our air conditioning plant, and You mean behind the grill, there's a duct which leads down into the basement?
[00:05:45] Unknown:
Yes. Just so.
[00:05:46] Unknown:
Then my earring's in the basement, and I want it. It's a very valuable piece of jewelry. Missus Parsons, I'll I'll do everything I can. I'll go and investigate the situation immediately. The poor man came to inform me that the air duct down which my earring had fallen joined a horizontal duct in the basement. It was totally inaccessible, he said. But,
[00:06:13] Unknown:
surely, he considered dismantling that part of the system? Oh, yes. And
[00:06:18] Unknown:
informed me that the cost would be £200. Frankly, mister Mason, I considered that to be excessive.
[00:06:24] Unknown:
Forgive me, missus Balsons, but Well, am I right in thinking that your jury is insured?
[00:06:29] Unknown:
You are? Well, then there's surely no problem. Again, I'm forced to be frank with you. I am what the insurance companies call a liability, high risk. I've made so many claims on them in the past for lost and damaged personal effects that if I came again for this, my next hard. They clearly weren't interested. I contacted the air conditioning people myself. They weren't very cooperative either. They assured me that the only way of getting to the earring would be to dismantle the air ducts. Oh, you can imagine how frustrated I was. I went down to the basement myself and had a look at the situation. It suddenly occurred to me that if the grill at the end of the horizontal duct were removed and someone got inside and crawled along to where the vertical duct from my room came down, it would be easy.
Do you think I find anybody who's willing to do that? Not even the smallest page boy in the hotel. The manager won't allow it. Why not? Oh, apparently, some question of insurance. He has no policy covering this sort of thing. How infuriating for you. It's such a simple job. In sheer desperation, I consulted the personal column of the evening standard. I saw your advertisement, phoned to make an appointment, and, well, here I am. Will you help me? We'd be delighted, Mrs. Bowersons. You do do this sort of thing.
[00:07:56] Unknown:
It's this sort of thing that keeps us in business. Oh,
[00:07:59] Unknown:
you can guarantee satisfaction?
[00:08:02] Unknown:
I can.
[00:08:04] Unknown:
When will your man do the job? Well, this afternoon, suit you? The sooner, the better. Good. Let's say, 04:30. Where shall I meet your man? His name's Cannon. David Cannon.
[00:08:15] Unknown:
Well, what about the lounge at the Hilton? Lovely. When Angela Parsons had left my office, I gave instructions to Mrs. Campbell that Canon was to come and see me immediately. He came promptly, and I apprised him with the facts supplied by Mrs. Parsons. Sounds pretty careless. Yes, cannon. But she admitted it. Nice. Captivating. A lady, but married. Pity. Well, how will I know what she looks like? Oh, just make yourself known to the most beautiful woman of 40 in the Hilton Lounge. That will be she. Any, special instructions? Well, I think you'll need pliers, screwdrivers, spanners, boiler suit, or a lamp which you can strap to your forehead. Mhmm. A four thirty, you said? That's right.
[00:09:00] Unknown:
Well, what's the joke? Well, I'm a sucker for a beautiful woman, but, this'll be the first time I've got on my hands and knees for one.
[00:09:12] Unknown:
For once, it was a short journey for camp. A long Half Moon Street into Curzon Street and then left into Park Lane. Something of a record. As I predicted, Cannon had no difficulty in identifying our client. She was having tea and toying nervously with a cigarette.
[00:09:28] Unknown:
You'll be missus Parsons. That's right. The name's Cannon. I work for Aubrey Mason. How do you do? How do you do? Now, where's the location? The what? How do we get to the basement? Oh, we'll take the lift. Okay. Let's go.
[00:09:51] Unknown:
It'll be a tight squeeze for you. I've been in tighter spots than this. It's about, let me see, 50 feet to where the down duck joins this one. There's a strong draft in there. Do you think it's conceivable that my earring would have been drawn further along the duct towards the fan? Possible, but, unlikely.
[00:10:06] Unknown:
We'll see.
[00:10:09] Unknown:
It only took a few moments for Karen to remove the wire grill the end of the duct. He did this by standing on the boot of missus Parsons' car. He then donned his boiler suit, strapped a miner's lamp to his forehead, and hoisted himself into the narrow opening. Once inside, Canon proceeded to wriggle on his belly along the 30 inch square duct.
[00:10:37] Unknown:
Only hope is things strong enough to support me. Well, it's not far to fall, but I get pretty shaken up in the process. Now Let's see. No. Not much further. What a heck of a way to where I live, but still, never got a dull moment. Now here we are. Now this is where the vertical duct joins the big horizontal one. And it should be around here somewhere. It's quite a drop from the First Floor. It must have bounced. Maybe broken. Them. Nope. Nothing here. Well, maybe it's further along towards the fan. Here we go again. And now I know how a a ramp up must must feel after a rough night
[00:11:43] Unknown:
out. No. Not here either. There's nothing here except except the envelope stuck on the grill next to the fan. I wonder.
[00:12:09] Unknown:
Surf with Superblue puts true whiteness back into your wash. A real whiteness. A true whiteness. It's superblue. What?
[00:12:17] Unknown:
Trust Surf to get your wash truly white. The white of Surf and Superblue.
[00:13:04] Unknown:
And now you could help yourself to a big cash prize in the Colgate Dental Cream spot the errors contest. Yes. There's R2,500 in cash prizes to be won. Full details at Colgate Dental Cream displays. Also, big savings on special packs. Get Colgate Dental Cream now.
[00:13:39] Unknown:
I was beginning to think you got lost.
[00:13:42] Unknown:
Wow. You just let me get down from up here. Alright. Well, that's that.
[00:13:52] Unknown:
No earring. Of course not. Where's the envelope? Hey, now wait a minute. Mister Callan, I'm in no mood to indulge you and your wisecracking. I want that envelope. Or else.
[00:14:05] Unknown:
Well, Wow. You must want it pretty badly. Do you mind pointing that thing the other way? I, I get pretty nervous looking into the barrel of a gun because, it's been my experience. They have a nasty habit of going off.
[00:14:27] Unknown:
To say that the lady's change of attitude and manner was a surprise to Canon, he's putting it mildly indeed. He was shocked and not a little nervous.
[00:14:38] Unknown:
Well, I, I must say you had any fault.
[00:14:41] Unknown:
It's not often I'm taking for a sucker like this. Please be reasonable and sensible, mister Cannon. You can see you have no choice. You've got the envelope. Hand it over.
[00:14:51] Unknown:
Well, you know, I've often been told I'm blessed with a sixth sense. I guess I must be. I mean, why else would I have left the envelope where it is? You did what? That's right. Go ahead. Look in my pockets. Oh, right. I don't got miss a car coming on the ramp. Right. Thanks. I cannot take this. That's better. Now you just keep your
[00:15:11] Unknown:
your distance, Oh. Alright, mister Cannon. You've got the upper hand. If you care to examine that pistol, you'll find it isn't loaded.
[00:15:20] Unknown:
Correct. Okay. Now, you'll be a good girl and put it away. Thank you. And suppose you tell me what's going on? Why didn't you tell us it was an envelope you wanted? You'd have saved us both a lot of trouble. I I didn't know. I could trust you. We don't advertise the fact, but we're very discreet about the assignments we undertake.
[00:15:41] Unknown:
Alright.
[00:15:42] Unknown:
Are you sure it won't go any further? Except to mister Mason, and it's safer with him than with the bank of England.
[00:15:48] Unknown:
Well, it happened like this. Yesterday afternoon, I came down into the basement with my car having been to see some friends in Richmond. I parked it over there. I switched off the engine, and I opened the door to step out.
[00:16:11] Unknown:
Allow me.
[00:16:13] Unknown:
What? How'd you do? Oh, you gave me such a fright. I didn't see you. I know. You know?
[00:16:19] Unknown:
I've been You don't know me. Allow me to introduce myself, Cyril Purdy.
[00:16:27] Unknown:
Oh, how do you do? You wish to see me? I know about you.
[00:16:33] Unknown:
Or to be more precise, let me say I know about your husband.
[00:16:38] Unknown:
My husband?
[00:16:39] Unknown:
And, the goings on. I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, come, missus Parsons. You're not a fool. Neither am I. Let's not beat about the bush. I assure you that what I say is true, and I'll tell you how I know. You see, I've made it my business to, how shall I put it? Keep an eye on your husband's affairs. Well?
[00:17:06] Unknown:
I think I know what you want.
[00:17:08] Unknown:
Money? Please.
[00:17:10] Unknown:
For what?
[00:17:11] Unknown:
Why? For my silence. What else?
[00:17:14] Unknown:
You're very sure of yourself, aren't you? I have to. You must have something to justify your confidence. I
[00:17:22] Unknown:
have. What? These.
[00:17:25] Unknown:
What are they? Allow me.
[00:17:31] Unknown:
Charming, aren't you? Photography is something of a hobby of mine.
[00:17:35] Unknown:
A very lucrative hobby. I've never been so disgusted in all my life.
[00:17:40] Unknown:
Oh, come now. You weren't unaware of this sort of thing? No.
[00:17:44] Unknown:
But it's something I've tried not to think about.
[00:17:48] Unknown:
And now And now, here it is under your very nose.
[00:17:52] Unknown:
How much do you want? Well,
[00:17:55] Unknown:
after very careful consideration about your husband's income and position in society, I decided to settle for £10,000.
[00:18:03] Unknown:
In return for which you will give me those photographs? Correct. What if I can't raise the money? That possibility never occurred to me.
[00:18:11] Unknown:
You must. And if you want these photographs badly enough, you will. What if I tell you to go to the devil? That would be extremely foolish of you. These photographs could ruin your husband. They could also ruin your marriage. You'd be handed out of the country.
[00:18:25] Unknown:
I'm I'm going to need time to think about this. Of course, dear lady.
[00:18:30] Unknown:
In the meantime, I'll return these photographs to that envelope. Yeah. You don't feel so confident now, do you, miss miss? I'm one of you, miss missus. If you try anything foolish, I shall be most severe with you. Keep away from me. You don't think I'm fool enough to let you get away with those photographs, do you? I'm not letting 10,000 pounds slip through my fingers. I've put too much time and energy into my scheme.
[00:18:53] Unknown:
Give them back to me. Keep away from me, you beast. I'm a patient man, missus Parsons, but I also have a violent temper. You wouldn't dare lay a finger on me. Wouldn't I? He lunged towards me and I cried out. I didn't know what to do. I was alone in this basement garage and I knew that that sort of man would stop at nothing. I couldn't run to the lift. There wasn't time. He would have caught me. On the other hand, he was blocking the other exit, the ramp up to the street. And then I saw the grill at the end of the horizontal air conditioning duct. I remembered feeling the movement of air as I walked past it to the lift early that morning. I rolled the envelope into a cylinder, which I hoped would have a small enough diameter, and I suddenly suddenly dashed to the grill. Before Purdy knew what I was doing, I'd slipped it through. I felt extremely gratified to see the draft that captured the envelope and suck it away into the darkness. What have you done? Where's the envelope? It's in there, and there's not a thing you can do about it. Oh, I yield it. No.
[00:19:47] Unknown:
Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help.
[00:19:49] Unknown:
Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help are you alright?
[00:19:58] Unknown:
Yes. Yes. Perfectly. Alright. Thank you. You came just in time. I thought I was going to faint, but I didn't. The man wanted to call the police, but fortunately, I was able to persuade him that it wasn't necessary. He thought I'd been molested.
[00:20:19] Unknown:
This mister Purdy sounds like a nasty piece of work. He's worse than an animal. Do you think he'll bother you
[00:20:25] Unknown:
again? I don't know. I've got no guarantee that he won't.
[00:20:30] Unknown:
Well, it seems to me that I've gotta go and get that envelope for you. Then it's up to you what you do with him. Oh, thank you, mister Cannon.
[00:20:40] Unknown:
And so, once again, Canon climbed onto the boot of the car. And from there, he reached up and wriggled into the air duct. He crawled the 70 feet or so to the grill next to the extraction fan on which was the envelope containing the photographs. He tucked it into the pocket of his boiler suit and then wriggled backwards to the comparative comfort of the basement garage. He replaced the wire grill and jumped off the car to the basement floor.
[00:21:05] Unknown:
Well, Well, this time it's for real. Well, I guess we can go home now. I'll go back to thirty three and make up my report. Mister Cannon, do you have to record all the details of what's happened? No. No. I guess the report will say how our client wanted an earring retrieved and how the job was done. Just for mister Mason's private information, I'll tell him what really happened, but, it won't go any further than that. Oh, thank you. You know, Parsons, I haven't known you for very long. In fact, it's not been an hour since we met, but it's not often a man has the good fortune of meeting a lady, and a lady with tremendous spirit and backbone.
It's been quite a privilege. Again.
[00:21:48] Unknown:
Thank you.
[00:21:53] Unknown:
Congratulations,
[00:21:55] Unknown:
mister Cannon. Purdy? That was a very noble speech.
[00:21:59] Unknown:
One really finds a man being so gallant to a lady these days. Purdy, I don't wanna have to soil my hands on you. But if you're not out of here pretty soon, I'm gonna tear you apart. How long have you been standing there? Long enough.
[00:22:11] Unknown:
What's the joke? I'm afraid the joke's on you, mister Cannon. You've been misled. Mr. Purdy, please. I'm surprised you haven't recognized your client.
[00:22:20] Unknown:
Recognized?
[00:22:21] Unknown:
Allow me to introduce you. Mr. Cannon, I'd like you to meet Lady Geraldine Farquharson. Well, mister Cannon? Farquharson? Wife of sir Hugh Farquharson, member of parliament for West Grinstead and the cabinet's minister of agriculture. Oh, you swine, Purdy. You little some swine.
[00:22:41] Unknown:
Well, thanks Well, thanks for the information, Purdy, but I don't see what difference it makes. Lady Farquharson asked us to do a job for her. It's been done and paid for. And if she wishes her identity to be kept a secret, it's no concern of ours. You better go.
[00:22:55] Unknown:
You're both intelligent people. I'm amazed it hasn't occurred to you that to print photographs, one needs negative. The negatives of those photographs are in an extremely safe place. You don't think I'd be foolish enough to present myself and my demand bearing the only photographs in existence? One bearing the only photographs in existence? One must allow for accidents.
[00:23:18] Unknown:
Purdy, you're gonna have the nastiest accident of yours. No, don't luster, mister Cannon.
[00:23:23] Unknown:
I hold the whip hand. Swits will avail you nothing. Now, let's talk business. The price is the same. You give me £10,000 cash, and I will destroy the negatives in your presence.
[00:23:39] Unknown:
No.
[00:23:42] Unknown:
Lady Vakasen, you are joking. I'm perfectly serious.
[00:23:46] Unknown:
I neither want nor need your negatives.
[00:24:19] Unknown:
There are always places that are hard to keep clean, like drains, sinks, and dust bins, places that breed deadly microscopic germs. You need a specially formulated disinfectant to eradicate germs and odors, like Sandpick with super pine, Sandpick liquid or penetrating Sandpick spray. Perfect for hideaway places. Use it regularly. Sandpick kills germs in seconds.
[00:25:28] Unknown:
The faces of both Purdy disbelief. She'd been so anxious to have in her possession the photographs from the air duct. And having been informed by Purdy they were worthless by virtue of the fact that he held the negatives, she calmly informed Purdy that she didn't want them.
[00:25:47] Unknown:
Gentlemen, it seems I owe you both an explanation. Mr Purdy, you have been laboring under a misapprehension. You assume that I would be more than willing to cover up my husband's amorous adventures. And you, Mr. Cannon, mistook me, or perhaps I misled you, mistook me for the brave little wife trying to protect her husband's reputation and save her marriage. Not so. I've been married to Hugh Parkinson for fourteen years. The misery of those years has been indescribable. My husband has had a succession of girls secretaries, hotel receptionists, waitresses, typists, and girls who are laughingly referred to as models.
My husband indulged himself to the extent of being on the threshold of bankruptcy. I have my clothes. I have some jewellery and a fine motor car. But in the event of a divorce, I have no hope of alimony. These photographs provide me with exactly what I want. A, a) they are the perfect evidence for divorce, and b) they're very valuable. You see, gentlemen, I have sold the story of my life with my husband to a well newspaper, but the editor required proof. He didn't believe that what I wrote was true. Now, when I show him these photographs, he will pay me enough money for me to live in the manner to which I have been unaccustomed.
You, Mr. Purdey, have nothing, but someday I'm sure you'll get what's coming to you. You, Mr. Canon, have been extremely courteous and kind. At least you have a fee for your services. Goodbye.
Warby Mason at your service. At assignments unlimited, we do anything, anywhere, at any time. 33
[00:00:08] Unknown:
Half Moon Street.
[00:00:28] Unknown:
The moment you feel a cold coming on, turn to Snellerin for help. Snellerin is a tried effective remedy that defeats flu misery. You feel better quickly with Snellerin.
[00:00:39] Unknown:
What does tomorrow hold for you? All the good things in life? Then you'd better start planning for them now by saving regularly each month. Yes, you've got a plan and you've got to save. Let's get together with the NBS.
[00:00:52] Unknown:
Save your money. Yes. Yes. Save for about tomorrow. Save NBS.
[00:00:58] Unknown:
Yes. NBS. Yes. The Natal Building Society is the ideal choice for today's young people because the NBS is South Africa's go ahead building society.
[00:01:09] Unknown:
Motorists. The new name for all genuine Ford parts is FOMOCO, f o m o c o. To get high precision parts that are made right to fit right, make sure they carry the name FOMOCO.
[00:01:29] Unknown:
The story I'm going to tell you tonight, taken from a dossier of an assignment we handle is called Parsons Pride.
[00:01:37] Unknown:
Here now is Aubrey Mason.
[00:01:47] Unknown:
What a mistake it is to judge people by their appearance. This is a fact which has been brought home to me many, many times since assignment unlimited came into being. The assignment I'm going to tell you about tonight will prove my point very forcibly. It began when the intercom on my desk buzzed. A missus Parsons, who has an appointment for 03:00, has arrived. Should I send her through? Yes, please. At that moment, well, she was only a name in my diary. Missus A Parsons. For the next moment, the door opened.
[00:02:19] Unknown:
Mrs Parsons.
[00:02:30] Unknown:
She was tall, about five foot six, but her auburn hair piled on top of her head made her look taller and slimmer than ever. She had an exquisite face set on a long neck. She was expensively dressed and immaculately groomed. Her eyes were big and and her mouth was soft and generous. I put her age at about 38. I stood to receive her, and she extended a white gloved hand in greeting. How do you do, Mrs. Parsons? How do you do? Oh, please sit down. Down. Oh,
[00:02:59] Unknown:
thank you.
[00:03:01] Unknown:
Marilyn, how can I help you?
[00:03:04] Unknown:
May I preference what I'm going to say by showing you something? Well, of course. It's in my bag. Here we are.
[00:03:15] Unknown:
Are. Diamonds.
[00:03:17] Unknown:
Beautiful diamonds too. To be more precise, mister Mason, a diamond earring.
[00:03:22] Unknown:
Exquisite.
[00:03:23] Unknown:
Tell me more. It's one of a pair valued at £5,000. The other is lost, or rather, it's not lost. It's This sounds so silly. I know where it is, but I can't get at it. That's why I've come here.
[00:03:38] Unknown:
Do I take it that the earring is inaccessible and, will you want us to retrieve it for you? Miss. Mason. Oh, it sounds intriguing. Before we go any further, may I take down a few particulars? Certainly. Now, your, your full name is? Angela
[00:03:54] Unknown:
Parsons. Angela
[00:03:57] Unknown:
Parsons. Your address? I
[00:04:00] Unknown:
my home address is Harrogate in Yorkshire, but I'm staying at the Hilton hotel in Park Lane. I came down here to do some shopping and see some shows. Oh, I see. Well, thank you.
[00:04:11] Unknown:
And, where is the earring? At the Hilton hotel
[00:04:15] Unknown:
in the basement.
[00:04:16] Unknown:
Yes.
[00:04:18] Unknown:
I have a room on the First Floor. Last evening, I'd been out to dinner in the theater with some friends. It was quite late when I got back. In fact, it was during the early hours. I was very tired, and I'm afraid I was rather careless. I took off my earrings and necklace and put them on the dressing table. This morning I ordered breakfast in my room. The waitress came in with a tray and I had it at my bedside. When I'd finished, I wanted to tidy the place up a bit, so I moved the tray and put it on the end of the dressing table. When I put it down, I I pushed it on so that it would be safer, but in doing so, the back of the tray pushed my jewellery.
Well, in in the wall, behind the dressing table, there's a vent. And when I pushed the tray, the back of the tray pushed one of my earrings into the vent. Well, of course, I realized immediately what I'd done, and I called the hotel manager.
[00:05:17] Unknown:
I'm sorry to have been so long, missus Parsons. I came as soon as I could. Now, what seemed to be the trouble? The earring which matches this one is is in there, in that vent. It was my fault. I pushed it with my breakfast tray. Oh, dear. I wanted to get somebody up here to remove the grill and get my earring out. Well, I'm afraid it's not going to be as easy as that. You see, that grill is part of our air conditioning. The air is extracted through it, goes down to the basement through our air conditioning plant, and You mean behind the grill, there's a duct which leads down into the basement?
[00:05:45] Unknown:
Yes. Just so.
[00:05:46] Unknown:
Then my earring's in the basement, and I want it. It's a very valuable piece of jewelry. Missus Parsons, I'll I'll do everything I can. I'll go and investigate the situation immediately. The poor man came to inform me that the air duct down which my earring had fallen joined a horizontal duct in the basement. It was totally inaccessible, he said. But,
[00:06:13] Unknown:
surely, he considered dismantling that part of the system? Oh, yes. And
[00:06:18] Unknown:
informed me that the cost would be £200. Frankly, mister Mason, I considered that to be excessive.
[00:06:24] Unknown:
Forgive me, missus Balsons, but Well, am I right in thinking that your jury is insured?
[00:06:29] Unknown:
You are? Well, then there's surely no problem. Again, I'm forced to be frank with you. I am what the insurance companies call a liability, high risk. I've made so many claims on them in the past for lost and damaged personal effects that if I came again for this, my next hard. They clearly weren't interested. I contacted the air conditioning people myself. They weren't very cooperative either. They assured me that the only way of getting to the earring would be to dismantle the air ducts. Oh, you can imagine how frustrated I was. I went down to the basement myself and had a look at the situation. It suddenly occurred to me that if the grill at the end of the horizontal duct were removed and someone got inside and crawled along to where the vertical duct from my room came down, it would be easy.
Do you think I find anybody who's willing to do that? Not even the smallest page boy in the hotel. The manager won't allow it. Why not? Oh, apparently, some question of insurance. He has no policy covering this sort of thing. How infuriating for you. It's such a simple job. In sheer desperation, I consulted the personal column of the evening standard. I saw your advertisement, phoned to make an appointment, and, well, here I am. Will you help me? We'd be delighted, Mrs. Bowersons. You do do this sort of thing.
[00:07:56] Unknown:
It's this sort of thing that keeps us in business. Oh,
[00:07:59] Unknown:
you can guarantee satisfaction?
[00:08:02] Unknown:
I can.
[00:08:04] Unknown:
When will your man do the job? Well, this afternoon, suit you? The sooner, the better. Good. Let's say, 04:30. Where shall I meet your man? His name's Cannon. David Cannon.
[00:08:15] Unknown:
Well, what about the lounge at the Hilton? Lovely. When Angela Parsons had left my office, I gave instructions to Mrs. Campbell that Canon was to come and see me immediately. He came promptly, and I apprised him with the facts supplied by Mrs. Parsons. Sounds pretty careless. Yes, cannon. But she admitted it. Nice. Captivating. A lady, but married. Pity. Well, how will I know what she looks like? Oh, just make yourself known to the most beautiful woman of 40 in the Hilton Lounge. That will be she. Any, special instructions? Well, I think you'll need pliers, screwdrivers, spanners, boiler suit, or a lamp which you can strap to your forehead. Mhmm. A four thirty, you said? That's right.
[00:09:00] Unknown:
Well, what's the joke? Well, I'm a sucker for a beautiful woman, but, this'll be the first time I've got on my hands and knees for one.
[00:09:12] Unknown:
For once, it was a short journey for camp. A long Half Moon Street into Curzon Street and then left into Park Lane. Something of a record. As I predicted, Cannon had no difficulty in identifying our client. She was having tea and toying nervously with a cigarette.
[00:09:28] Unknown:
You'll be missus Parsons. That's right. The name's Cannon. I work for Aubrey Mason. How do you do? How do you do? Now, where's the location? The what? How do we get to the basement? Oh, we'll take the lift. Okay. Let's go.
[00:09:51] Unknown:
It'll be a tight squeeze for you. I've been in tighter spots than this. It's about, let me see, 50 feet to where the down duck joins this one. There's a strong draft in there. Do you think it's conceivable that my earring would have been drawn further along the duct towards the fan? Possible, but, unlikely.
[00:10:06] Unknown:
We'll see.
[00:10:09] Unknown:
It only took a few moments for Karen to remove the wire grill the end of the duct. He did this by standing on the boot of missus Parsons' car. He then donned his boiler suit, strapped a miner's lamp to his forehead, and hoisted himself into the narrow opening. Once inside, Canon proceeded to wriggle on his belly along the 30 inch square duct.
[00:10:37] Unknown:
Only hope is things strong enough to support me. Well, it's not far to fall, but I get pretty shaken up in the process. Now Let's see. No. Not much further. What a heck of a way to where I live, but still, never got a dull moment. Now here we are. Now this is where the vertical duct joins the big horizontal one. And it should be around here somewhere. It's quite a drop from the First Floor. It must have bounced. Maybe broken. Them. Nope. Nothing here. Well, maybe it's further along towards the fan. Here we go again. And now I know how a a ramp up must must feel after a rough night
[00:11:43] Unknown:
out. No. Not here either. There's nothing here except except the envelope stuck on the grill next to the fan. I wonder.
[00:12:09] Unknown:
Surf with Superblue puts true whiteness back into your wash. A real whiteness. A true whiteness. It's superblue. What?
[00:12:17] Unknown:
Trust Surf to get your wash truly white. The white of Surf and Superblue.
[00:13:04] Unknown:
And now you could help yourself to a big cash prize in the Colgate Dental Cream spot the errors contest. Yes. There's R2,500 in cash prizes to be won. Full details at Colgate Dental Cream displays. Also, big savings on special packs. Get Colgate Dental Cream now.
[00:13:39] Unknown:
I was beginning to think you got lost.
[00:13:42] Unknown:
Wow. You just let me get down from up here. Alright. Well, that's that.
[00:13:52] Unknown:
No earring. Of course not. Where's the envelope? Hey, now wait a minute. Mister Callan, I'm in no mood to indulge you and your wisecracking. I want that envelope. Or else.
[00:14:05] Unknown:
Well, Wow. You must want it pretty badly. Do you mind pointing that thing the other way? I, I get pretty nervous looking into the barrel of a gun because, it's been my experience. They have a nasty habit of going off.
[00:14:27] Unknown:
To say that the lady's change of attitude and manner was a surprise to Canon, he's putting it mildly indeed. He was shocked and not a little nervous.
[00:14:38] Unknown:
Well, I, I must say you had any fault.
[00:14:41] Unknown:
It's not often I'm taking for a sucker like this. Please be reasonable and sensible, mister Cannon. You can see you have no choice. You've got the envelope. Hand it over.
[00:14:51] Unknown:
Well, you know, I've often been told I'm blessed with a sixth sense. I guess I must be. I mean, why else would I have left the envelope where it is? You did what? That's right. Go ahead. Look in my pockets. Oh, right. I don't got miss a car coming on the ramp. Right. Thanks. I cannot take this. That's better. Now you just keep your
[00:15:11] Unknown:
your distance, Oh. Alright, mister Cannon. You've got the upper hand. If you care to examine that pistol, you'll find it isn't loaded.
[00:15:20] Unknown:
Correct. Okay. Now, you'll be a good girl and put it away. Thank you. And suppose you tell me what's going on? Why didn't you tell us it was an envelope you wanted? You'd have saved us both a lot of trouble. I I didn't know. I could trust you. We don't advertise the fact, but we're very discreet about the assignments we undertake.
[00:15:41] Unknown:
Alright.
[00:15:42] Unknown:
Are you sure it won't go any further? Except to mister Mason, and it's safer with him than with the bank of England.
[00:15:48] Unknown:
Well, it happened like this. Yesterday afternoon, I came down into the basement with my car having been to see some friends in Richmond. I parked it over there. I switched off the engine, and I opened the door to step out.
[00:16:11] Unknown:
Allow me.
[00:16:13] Unknown:
What? How'd you do? Oh, you gave me such a fright. I didn't see you. I know. You know?
[00:16:19] Unknown:
I've been You don't know me. Allow me to introduce myself, Cyril Purdy.
[00:16:27] Unknown:
Oh, how do you do? You wish to see me? I know about you.
[00:16:33] Unknown:
Or to be more precise, let me say I know about your husband.
[00:16:38] Unknown:
My husband?
[00:16:39] Unknown:
And, the goings on. I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, come, missus Parsons. You're not a fool. Neither am I. Let's not beat about the bush. I assure you that what I say is true, and I'll tell you how I know. You see, I've made it my business to, how shall I put it? Keep an eye on your husband's affairs. Well?
[00:17:06] Unknown:
I think I know what you want.
[00:17:08] Unknown:
Money? Please.
[00:17:10] Unknown:
For what?
[00:17:11] Unknown:
Why? For my silence. What else?
[00:17:14] Unknown:
You're very sure of yourself, aren't you? I have to. You must have something to justify your confidence. I
[00:17:22] Unknown:
have. What? These.
[00:17:25] Unknown:
What are they? Allow me.
[00:17:31] Unknown:
Charming, aren't you? Photography is something of a hobby of mine.
[00:17:35] Unknown:
A very lucrative hobby. I've never been so disgusted in all my life.
[00:17:40] Unknown:
Oh, come now. You weren't unaware of this sort of thing? No.
[00:17:44] Unknown:
But it's something I've tried not to think about.
[00:17:48] Unknown:
And now And now, here it is under your very nose.
[00:17:52] Unknown:
How much do you want? Well,
[00:17:55] Unknown:
after very careful consideration about your husband's income and position in society, I decided to settle for £10,000.
[00:18:03] Unknown:
In return for which you will give me those photographs? Correct. What if I can't raise the money? That possibility never occurred to me.
[00:18:11] Unknown:
You must. And if you want these photographs badly enough, you will. What if I tell you to go to the devil? That would be extremely foolish of you. These photographs could ruin your husband. They could also ruin your marriage. You'd be handed out of the country.
[00:18:25] Unknown:
I'm I'm going to need time to think about this. Of course, dear lady.
[00:18:30] Unknown:
In the meantime, I'll return these photographs to that envelope. Yeah. You don't feel so confident now, do you, miss miss? I'm one of you, miss missus. If you try anything foolish, I shall be most severe with you. Keep away from me. You don't think I'm fool enough to let you get away with those photographs, do you? I'm not letting 10,000 pounds slip through my fingers. I've put too much time and energy into my scheme.
[00:18:53] Unknown:
Give them back to me. Keep away from me, you beast. I'm a patient man, missus Parsons, but I also have a violent temper. You wouldn't dare lay a finger on me. Wouldn't I? He lunged towards me and I cried out. I didn't know what to do. I was alone in this basement garage and I knew that that sort of man would stop at nothing. I couldn't run to the lift. There wasn't time. He would have caught me. On the other hand, he was blocking the other exit, the ramp up to the street. And then I saw the grill at the end of the horizontal air conditioning duct. I remembered feeling the movement of air as I walked past it to the lift early that morning. I rolled the envelope into a cylinder, which I hoped would have a small enough diameter, and I suddenly suddenly dashed to the grill. Before Purdy knew what I was doing, I'd slipped it through. I felt extremely gratified to see the draft that captured the envelope and suck it away into the darkness. What have you done? Where's the envelope? It's in there, and there's not a thing you can do about it. Oh, I yield it. No.
[00:19:47] Unknown:
Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help.
[00:19:49] Unknown:
Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help are you alright?
[00:19:58] Unknown:
Yes. Yes. Perfectly. Alright. Thank you. You came just in time. I thought I was going to faint, but I didn't. The man wanted to call the police, but fortunately, I was able to persuade him that it wasn't necessary. He thought I'd been molested.
[00:20:19] Unknown:
This mister Purdy sounds like a nasty piece of work. He's worse than an animal. Do you think he'll bother you
[00:20:25] Unknown:
again? I don't know. I've got no guarantee that he won't.
[00:20:30] Unknown:
Well, it seems to me that I've gotta go and get that envelope for you. Then it's up to you what you do with him. Oh, thank you, mister Cannon.
[00:20:40] Unknown:
And so, once again, Canon climbed onto the boot of the car. And from there, he reached up and wriggled into the air duct. He crawled the 70 feet or so to the grill next to the extraction fan on which was the envelope containing the photographs. He tucked it into the pocket of his boiler suit and then wriggled backwards to the comparative comfort of the basement garage. He replaced the wire grill and jumped off the car to the basement floor.
[00:21:05] Unknown:
Well, Well, this time it's for real. Well, I guess we can go home now. I'll go back to thirty three and make up my report. Mister Cannon, do you have to record all the details of what's happened? No. No. I guess the report will say how our client wanted an earring retrieved and how the job was done. Just for mister Mason's private information, I'll tell him what really happened, but, it won't go any further than that. Oh, thank you. You know, Parsons, I haven't known you for very long. In fact, it's not been an hour since we met, but it's not often a man has the good fortune of meeting a lady, and a lady with tremendous spirit and backbone.
It's been quite a privilege. Again.
[00:21:48] Unknown:
Thank you.
[00:21:53] Unknown:
Congratulations,
[00:21:55] Unknown:
mister Cannon. Purdy? That was a very noble speech.
[00:21:59] Unknown:
One really finds a man being so gallant to a lady these days. Purdy, I don't wanna have to soil my hands on you. But if you're not out of here pretty soon, I'm gonna tear you apart. How long have you been standing there? Long enough.
[00:22:11] Unknown:
What's the joke? I'm afraid the joke's on you, mister Cannon. You've been misled. Mr. Purdy, please. I'm surprised you haven't recognized your client.
[00:22:20] Unknown:
Recognized?
[00:22:21] Unknown:
Allow me to introduce you. Mr. Cannon, I'd like you to meet Lady Geraldine Farquharson. Well, mister Cannon? Farquharson? Wife of sir Hugh Farquharson, member of parliament for West Grinstead and the cabinet's minister of agriculture. Oh, you swine, Purdy. You little some swine.
[00:22:41] Unknown:
Well, thanks Well, thanks for the information, Purdy, but I don't see what difference it makes. Lady Farquharson asked us to do a job for her. It's been done and paid for. And if she wishes her identity to be kept a secret, it's no concern of ours. You better go.
[00:22:55] Unknown:
You're both intelligent people. I'm amazed it hasn't occurred to you that to print photographs, one needs negative. The negatives of those photographs are in an extremely safe place. You don't think I'd be foolish enough to present myself and my demand bearing the only photographs in existence? One bearing the only photographs in existence? One must allow for accidents.
[00:23:18] Unknown:
Purdy, you're gonna have the nastiest accident of yours. No, don't luster, mister Cannon.
[00:23:23] Unknown:
I hold the whip hand. Swits will avail you nothing. Now, let's talk business. The price is the same. You give me £10,000 cash, and I will destroy the negatives in your presence.
[00:23:39] Unknown:
No.
[00:23:42] Unknown:
Lady Vakasen, you are joking. I'm perfectly serious.
[00:23:46] Unknown:
I neither want nor need your negatives.
[00:24:19] Unknown:
There are always places that are hard to keep clean, like drains, sinks, and dust bins, places that breed deadly microscopic germs. You need a specially formulated disinfectant to eradicate germs and odors, like Sandpick with super pine, Sandpick liquid or penetrating Sandpick spray. Perfect for hideaway places. Use it regularly. Sandpick kills germs in seconds.
[00:25:28] Unknown:
The faces of both Purdy disbelief. She'd been so anxious to have in her possession the photographs from the air duct. And having been informed by Purdy they were worthless by virtue of the fact that he held the negatives, she calmly informed Purdy that she didn't want them.
[00:25:47] Unknown:
Gentlemen, it seems I owe you both an explanation. Mr Purdy, you have been laboring under a misapprehension. You assume that I would be more than willing to cover up my husband's amorous adventures. And you, Mr. Cannon, mistook me, or perhaps I misled you, mistook me for the brave little wife trying to protect her husband's reputation and save her marriage. Not so. I've been married to Hugh Parkinson for fourteen years. The misery of those years has been indescribable. My husband has had a succession of girls secretaries, hotel receptionists, waitresses, typists, and girls who are laughingly referred to as models.
My husband indulged himself to the extent of being on the threshold of bankruptcy. I have my clothes. I have some jewellery and a fine motor car. But in the event of a divorce, I have no hope of alimony. These photographs provide me with exactly what I want. A, a) they are the perfect evidence for divorce, and b) they're very valuable. You see, gentlemen, I have sold the story of my life with my husband to a well newspaper, but the editor required proof. He didn't believe that what I wrote was true. Now, when I show him these photographs, he will pay me enough money for me to live in the manner to which I have been unaccustomed.
You, Mr. Purdey, have nothing, but someday I'm sure you'll get what's coming to you. You, Mr. Canon, have been extremely courteous and kind. At least you have a fee for your services. Goodbye.
