In this intriguing episode, we delve into a mystery that begins with a seemingly simple request for a temporary worker to cover a market stall. Marge Willis approaches Assignments Unlimited with a peculiar job offer: to find someone to stand in for her husband, who has been run over by a lorry and is unable to manage their corner pitch at Walthamstow High Street. Cannon, an American living in London, takes on the task, only to find himself embroiled in a web of deception involving shellfish, diamonds, and a suspicious death.
Cannon's day at the market is filled with colorful characters and Cockney slang, but beneath the surface lies a dangerous secret. As he navigates the world of costermongers and unwittingly becomes part of a smuggling operation, Cannon's instincts lead him to uncover a scheme involving stolen diamonds hidden in shellfish. The episode unravels with unexpected twists, revealing the true nature of Marge's operation and the lengths to which she will go to protect her business and her secrets.
(00:15) The Mysterious Call
(01:00) Marge Willis and the Lorry Accident
(05:00) Cannon Takes on the Barrow Job
(12:00) The Suspicious Shellfish
(18:00) A Deadly Discovery
(20:00) Unraveling the Mystery
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[00:00:00]
Unknown:
With the Blue Cash Everyday card, it's easy to earn 3% cashback on groceries at US supermarkets, US online retail purchases, and US gas stations. That's how we grow our family's little nest egg. Learn more at AmericanExpress.com/explore-bce. Terms and cashback cap apply.
[00:00:16] Unknown:
Oh, is that grovener five double nine five? Yes. Can I speak to the man in charge? He's got connection. Why do you wish to speak to him? The old man's been run over by Laurie. Are you sure you've got the right number? Yes. Ain't your assignment's unlimited? Yeah. Let's say you've got the assignment. You see, the old man was run over by a lorry, broke both his legs and went Just a minute, madam. I think you'd better come round and see us. Alright then. Where are you? 33
[00:00:42] Unknown:
Half Moon Street.
[00:01:00] Unknown:
Marge Willis could have stepped out of the first act of My Fair Lady. She crept into the office like a a shrouded field mouse, her nostrils twitching and her bright beady eyes darting hither and thither as there in such a some hidden danger. Drooping millinery adorned her head, flapping despairingly and appearing to cogitate on bitter days and grander owners. She sniffed and cleared her throat and rustled her voluminous apparel towards my desk. Appraising me with a critical eye, her mouth split into a marshal row of gold fillings as she said, you forget they called Aubrey Mason.' I am. And you must be Marge Willis. Well, it's me old man. He got run over by a lorry. Well, won't you sit down, missus Willis? It is missus Willis. To some. Marge is what they called me.
Thanks.
[00:01:50] Unknown:
There's no need to dust it, Marge. The keeners come in every morning. No. Yes. There wouldn't a posh place like this. Fourth of every, I suppose. Oh, that's better. Haven't had me weight off my plates all day. Plates. Plates and meat. Feet.
[00:02:07] Unknown:
You ever been in the barrel business? I don't think I'm acquainted with it. Orkin. You know, flogging from a barrel. No, missus, Marge. That's one branch of commerce I haven't yet tried. Pity.
[00:02:19] Unknown:
You see, I want to hire a reliable bloke on a bearer. Come to think of it, you look a bit of a Charlie, Orkin Green's round Wharf and Stone. But I was told you could dig up a boat for any sort of job. I can do that. You see, my old man got run over by a lorry Large.
[00:02:38] Unknown:
Before you tell me all about it, I feel I should warn you that Assignments Unlimited is not a labour exchange. We only undertake special jobs and, of course, we charge a special fee. Oh, lorry's no trouble. I pay £15 a day for the right bloke.
[00:02:52] Unknown:
Is the, barrow business all that good? Better if you got the right pitch. And that's the trouble, you see. My old man got run over by a lorry and broke both his legs. Now he's got Pitch 48 on the Walthamstow High Street and the ticket comes up for taking on again in a week's time, you see. And if the picture ain't taken on for the whole half year, then any piker can nip in and stitch it. And it's a corner, and you don't get corners anymore. Oh, and if my old man loses his picture on account of some snitcher,
[00:03:24] Unknown:
he won't ask give me what for when he comes out of the hospital. Oh, I think I understand, Marge. You want a substitute for your husband for a week, and you're willing to pay for it because it means you can renew your license if the Cornerstone is continuously occupied. Well, that's what I said, isn't he? Yes. Yes. I suppose you did. Well, have you got a bloke? Yes. I have, Marge. Where do you want him to report to? What's he like, this bloke? Let me see. Well, Canon's doing nothing important at the moment. He ain't a toff like you, is he? He's an American.
[00:03:53] Unknown:
A Yankee. They don't flog all the boroughs, do they? No. But this man's lived in London for some time. Now I think you can prickly show him the ropes. Can he handle himself? He gets rough on the pitch now and then. I'm sure he can cope, Marge. Right. Tell him to come to 27 Needle Street, South Walthamstow at 05:00 tomorrow morning and pick up the barber. I'll have the greens loaded and he can knock me up for the wrinkles. Wrinkles? Yes. We do wrinkles and wilks on the side, but you can't keep them in the shed, you know.
[00:04:24] Unknown:
Well, where do you keep the barge? Under the bade out of the way. But I'll show him. You're at the lolly now? Oh, no. Later will do. I've made a note of the address and I'll see that he's there at 05:00 sharp. Well, I hope there's no trouble over him being a foreigner.
[00:04:39] Unknown:
Then there's lots of yanks about since the war, ain't there? Oh, well, I feel better now. You couldn't afford to lose that corner pitch.
[00:04:47] Unknown:
You don't know my old man, do you? I've never had the pleasure of his acquaintance. Well, I hope you both like the flogging job. He's always interested in your assignments, Marge, but I'll bet in his wildest dreams he never thought he'd end up being a burrow boy. The following morning at 05:00 sharp, complete with cap and muffler, he knocked on the door of 27 Needle Street.
[00:05:08] Unknown:
Oh, Rob. Just a minute. Just a minute.
[00:05:14] Unknown:
Oh. Oh. You're a big one.
[00:05:17] Unknown:
You for mister Mason? That's right. Cannon's the name.
[00:05:22] Unknown:
And, what's so funny? Oh, the way you'd stalk. You get used to hearing yanks on the pictures, of course, when you meet him face to
[00:05:32] Unknown:
face. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I got an assignment to collect a pushcart.
[00:05:37] Unknown:
Pushcart? That's what they use for nippers. You've got a barrel cock, and that's a sight bigger than a pushcart.
[00:05:43] Unknown:
Come with me. Don't you, don't you wanna get changed first? What? It's 05:00 in the morning? I'm good enough in me penny.
[00:05:50] Unknown:
Here's the shed over here. Now, careful when you go in. Okay. Jenny doesn't like her beauty sleep disturbed. You, you got somebody living here in the shack?
[00:06:00] Unknown:
A jackass? Yeah. Don't so call me donkey word names. Jenny was a great comfort to me when the old man was doing a six on the mower. I've done this 10, dear. Lug out the wheeler.
[00:06:15] Unknown:
Look, I I got an admission to make, Mrs Willis. Marge? At Marge. I've only been in England for a few years. I, I haven't got a grasp of the language yet. You can get a grasp of that there barrow or you'll hear some right language from me, I can tell you. Oh, yeah, the, the ballad. Mrs Willis, oh, well, I suppose you went to This is some germ, and I think I've got to lug this all the way to the High Street. Well, if they talk like Raj, I should improve my knowledge of colloquial English to a degree. Talk it to yourself, Mr. Cannon. Oh, that's a bad sign. Do you drink? Well, if I didn't, I got a hunch I'd start right after the day's work's done. Well, you watch it.
[00:07:00] Unknown:
Now let's check the barrow. Oh, my cash. See? No pay laters. The greens are all where you see them, and everything's got a price written on the scales at the end there. See? Yeah. I see. Now if you find the carrots or the beans ain't going well, you could drop. But you don't change the price of the whelks, even if Sid Littman next year's something at half the price. Got it? Carrots,
[00:07:23] Unknown:
beans, scale yeah.
[00:07:27] Unknown:
Now wait a minute. What what's a whelk? Oh, you don't know what a whelk is? Blimey. I might have known. Why do they feed you, Yangsong, when you're home? A whelk is a thing in his shell. Here, these things see. They come from the seaside, south end most likely. I cook them and then you pull them out with a pin. Oh, I see. Here's half a dollar for half a pint and a watt at lunchtime. Oh, and don't let anyone near the stall except them that wants to buy. See you back here at 08:00.
[00:07:58] Unknown:
Did you say 08:00? What's the matter with you? You got cloth ears? 08:00 this morning? No, you, Nick. Tonight.
[00:08:05] Unknown:
Right. Off you go.
[00:08:07] Unknown:
K. Five in the morning to eight at night. That's fifteen hours. Well, the chief's not gonna make much profit out of this bad boy. Oh, sir. Okay, Karen. Clumble the mails of commerce.
[00:08:25] Unknown:
Karen, anticipating his thrust upon a world of strange customs and indecipherable jargon, was an evil temper when, sweating profusely, he finally steered the coster's barrow into the Walthamstow High Street.
[00:08:44] Unknown:
Fifteen quid a day. I don't need my head red. I need a private panel of phrenologists. Well, there it is. Now all I do is stand and wait for the customers, if there are any customer. Good morning. Oh, good morning, ma'am. Greens, Winkles, Wilkes.
[00:09:04] Unknown:
You're new here, aren't you? Ma'am, I'm greener than the Greens. I thought so. You haven't put your price markers up yet. The prices you're charging, it's marked on the ticket to the test your line. Feast down in top of the vegetables. Boys.
[00:09:17] Unknown:
Hey. You speak English. So does everyone in Wolfenstow High Street. Ma'am, I got news for you. You're American, aren't you? Well, it's what everybody says, so, I guess they must be right. He may have fixed the, the price markers.
[00:09:32] Unknown:
Do you, do you work here too? Oh, heavens no. I shop here. I usually buy for mister Willis, but he hasn't been here for the past two days. No. It broke his legs playing touch with a truck. Oh, I am sorry. Are you looking after the store while he's indisposed?
[00:09:46] Unknown:
That's right, ma'am. Cannon McCoster. That's me. Well, mister Cannon, now that you've got all the prices up, I'll make a few purchases. You can always remember me as your first customer. Now, how can I remember you if I, if I don't even know your name? Is that necessary? Oh, yes. It's, it's a good customer, Coster relationship. You know, despite that cap and muffler, you don't look the least bit like a costamonger. Well, that's the first kind thing that's been said to me today. It's me take off the cap. There.
Any improvement?
[00:10:20] Unknown:
Not an East End haircut.
[00:10:22] Unknown:
Take off the muffler.
[00:10:25] Unknown:
Oh, a silk shirt and tie. And I'd say it again, a seven row suit under the overalls.
[00:10:32] Unknown:
Mr. Cannon, you better get back in disguise or frighten your customers away. Well, that's great. So long as I don't frighten you away,
[00:10:39] Unknown:
miss,
[00:10:40] Unknown:
Alright. Karen Langley. Now to business. How much are the Wilks? Wilks?
[00:10:47] Unknown:
Hey. Now you don't eat Wilks. Of course all Londoners do, especially my clientele.
[00:10:52] Unknown:
Clientele? You use a word like that in Walthamstow? Well, I buy certain commodities for a group of hotels. That's my job. In some hotels, it's caviar, and in others, Wilks. It's as easy as that. Yeah.
[00:11:04] Unknown:
Don't handle the greens. Leave along the way, Wilks.
[00:11:08] Unknown:
Now if I can look over your shellfish
[00:11:11] Unknown:
Oh, sure. Sure. Help yourself, Carl. You pick them over as much as you want.
[00:11:15] Unknown:
I don't have a pin, though. Oh, I'm not going to eat any. Just see which are the best.
[00:11:20] Unknown:
You might see on the card that they're 5 shillings a quart. Well, it's considerably more than mister Mitman on the next store he's selling at. Well, Carl and I, I've got my orders. I can't sell them at less than the price mark, you see. But, well, maybe I can make it up by knocking something off the greens. Oh, I'm only interested in Wilkes, mister Gannon. K. Here we go. Five quarts coming up.
[00:11:42] Unknown:
Oh, that looks wonderful. Five quarts at 5 shillings. That's 25 shillings. There you are. Thank you.
[00:11:49] Unknown:
Hey. You nearly brought me out.
[00:11:51] Unknown:
Say, I'll finish here by eight tonight. So, how's about you and me taking in a shot? Mister Cannon, I never associate with common Costa. Hey, now just wait a minute. Good afternoon, mister Cannon. I'll be back, and perhaps with a change of heart. Just let me think on the Savile Row suit and the other civilized clappings under that rough Costa exterior. I promise you the best Chinese dinner you've ever eaten. Why Chinese?
[00:12:16] Unknown:
Well, ma'am, I couldn't look upon a spoonful of spinach ever again. The color green makes me see red. The word chlorophyll has been smitten from my vocabulary. From now on, I'm strictly a non vegetarian.
[00:12:28] Unknown:
But you'll get over it. Later, mister Cannon. Okay.
[00:12:32] Unknown:
Wow. What a dish. And the soda dame is so full of beans. Beans? Oh, no. What the
[00:12:42] Unknown:
oh, it's you. Come to fill you up again, mister Cannon. Oh, there. The belt tray's full again. Yeah. You, you don't waste any time, do you? In this racket, time and money goes together, mate. And if you don't watch the money, you're like enough to wind up doing time. Rawning was buzzing in Cannon's brain.
[00:13:01] Unknown:
His subconscious was struggling to reconstruct something that had happened during the day that wasn't logical. Of one thing, Cannon was certain. All was not what it appeared to be. In some strange way, the greens glowed for danger. In the early afternoon, Marge returned to cannon on the barrow. Hello there, big boy. Trade's brisk,
[00:13:21] Unknown:
You're good for business. Half the l is coming on to buy from you because they wants to hear you speak. Yeah. Makes me feel like a sideshow, you know. Oh, don't worry, mate. How's that taking?
[00:13:31] Unknown:
The other one? The lolly. How much do you have got? Oh,
[00:13:35] Unknown:
£8.11
[00:13:36] Unknown:
£9. Hand it over. Help yourself. It's in the drawer under the barn. Okay, good boy.
[00:13:42] Unknown:
Had any trouble? Only selling the works. Trouble with it? Well, the trouble is, Marge, nobody will buy them. Littmann next door is selling at half price. Let him. Don't you come down in price. I know what I can do it. Yeah. I guess you do it then. Or and, by the way, there's a little guy over the road lounging on the corner. He's been there all day, and he spent the time watching me like a hawk. Shown me. Over there, is he?
[00:14:06] Unknown:
That's Wally Perkins. He's copper's knark. The police? No. No. He watches where the coppers tell him, and then he splits on his mate.
[00:14:15] Unknown:
Oh, a stool pigeon. But, why is he watching me?
[00:14:20] Unknown:
Well, because you knew, I suppose. Oh, don't let him worry you. He won't see anything here. Well, there's nothing to see, I guess. That's right, big boy. And if it gives you any trouble, I'll put his eye in a sling. Well, you're more than halfway sold. You might even finish early. Yeah? At 5 Bubba Court, I'll be sitting selling seashells until this time next year. A cannon that can't get rid of his shells. I'll be back later, big boy.
[00:14:49] Unknown:
Very funny. I should have stayed in bed. That dame's right out of the comic strip. Somebody should put her back again. I'll rub her out and draw her again. Oh, Khan. Hey. The rains in Spain reign mainly in the plains. You alright? The English language. You're only the second time I heard it today. But everyone finds Cockney Jargon terribly amusing. Yeah. They like to hear Italian Grand Opera too, but that always finishes after a few hours. Well, can't you finish when you're sold out? Well, then, if there were oysters, I might run up a sign saying find the lucky girl. As it is, who wants welts for the price of caviar? I do. Those who sold me this morning were excellent. I've come for another lot. Oh, Karen, I, I know you wanna do me a favor, but, I won't let you. You see, now, the small next door is selling the same thing at half the price. What do you know about English seafood?
I want five quarts. Okay. Five quarts. Coming up. That's 25 shillings. There we are. Thank you very much. But, Khan, it's daylight robbery. You can't take those things. It's positively dishonest. You can't look me in selling them cheaper. What else?
[00:15:56] Unknown:
Yes. What else?
[00:15:58] Unknown:
Okay. Hey. Tonight, did my lady wrestle with her conscience and ordained to tangle with the humble proletariat? She did, my lord. And she thanks you.
[00:16:07] Unknown:
A Chinese dinner sounds splendid.
[00:16:10] Unknown:
You know something? That cockney noise is beginning to sound like a symphony. The captain's coming in the Haymarket. Okay? What time? 08:30. Would you have the barrel back in time? I'll run all the way. Well, the barrel will be empty. Except for the shellfish. But they'll have been here so long by then, they can run behind.
[00:16:27] Unknown:
Alright, mister Cannon. I'll be there. Egg first. Okay.
[00:16:32] Unknown:
Oh, boy. Into each life some sun shine, a modern Molly Malone in the same prescatorial pamper. What?
[00:16:42] Unknown:
You are gang All nice and fresh. Cooked
[00:16:45] Unknown:
You mean they won't have lost anything by not being under your bed all night? Yeah. Don't be cheeky, big boy. There you are. Traceful. Now look. The deal was that I could take the barrow back when it was empty. You keep pulling it up again. Keep your shirt on. You can tell them at any price you want now. No kidding? You mean even lower than Littmann? What could be lower than Littmann? Sell them at any price you like, big Marge Willis, you're about to see modern American business methods go swinging into action.
[00:17:14] Unknown:
With previous permission to drop the price on vegetables, Cannon now offered the passing shop as a bonus pack. Shellfish at a Schillinger port provided a certain quantity of greens were bought too. In an isle of Barrow was empty. Canon reflected that not even Marge Bullisworth, her wealth of experience, could have done as well as he. And so with Leithart and Leith Barrow, he proceeded quickly towards Number 27 Needle Street, South Walthamstow. He opened the doors of the stable, went to Jenny the jackass, and parked the barrow for the night. Cannon then deemed it expedient to report his dismissal from duty to March Willis.
[00:17:55] Unknown:
And where can she be? Under the bed with the wrinkles, maybe? Hey, Marge. You in there? Oh, not here. Better leave a note for her in the afternoon's cash. No. Where can I put it so it's gonna be safe? I know. With the wrinkles under the bed, nobody's gonna look bad. Better pull the bed to one side. Yes. Oh, no. Wow. Buster, I, I don't know who you are, but somebody went to work on you with more than a winkle pin. Oh, He's dead on last cold death. His body's been under this bed for a few days. Mister Connor? Mister Connor? Marge.
Connor? I'm here, Marge. What are you doing in there? Gotta pull the bed back where it was. What are you doing in my room? I, I just got here. I, I came to leave a note to say I'd finished early and to, to leave the cash from this afternoon's tank. You didn't monkey with my things, did you? Oh, I should say not. What do you think I am?
[00:19:25] Unknown:
Alright. Don't come in here again. You can leave the money on my mantelpiece and scuttle. What about tomorrow, Marge? Yeah. The same time. And wait in this table. Okay.
[00:19:37] Unknown:
I told you I could offload that stuff if you brought the price down, didn't I? You done all right. I'll be now. I've got things to do. You're the boss. So long, Marge, don't forget to cook the winkels, you might get lonesome without them under the bed. Hello, please? Now listen. My name is Ken. Yeah. Canon. That's right. And I'm speaking from a phone booth in South Walthamstow. I work at a place called Assignments Unlimited. The phone number is 595.
[00:20:22] Unknown:
Yep. 595. That's it. Now listen. I'm going there right away. The address is 33 Half Moon Street, and I'll stay there until you call. Listen. I've just come from Number 27 Needle Street, South Walthamstow, and there's the dead body of a man under the bed. He's good and dead, and he didn't die from natural causes. A hour later, we received a visit from a police inspector who had in question Kevin carefully delivered the information that Number 27 Needle Street and the stable were empty at the time of their visit, and no dead body was under the bed or anywhere else on the premises. With a test good night, the inspector left.
[00:21:00] Unknown:
But I don't get it, chief. I just don't get it. You were standing in the sun all day. Oh, don't give me that, chief. You know better than that. Look, the guy was there as large as life. Well, you know what I mean. His legs were bent underneath him. As though they'd been broken? Yeah. Hey, you think it could have been, Margibullus's husband? Perhaps. Now, what will you do now? Well, I've got to keep a date with Carl and Langley. If 27 Needle Street was empty, they won't know of the police visit. And I don't want to rouse anybody's suspicions. What's Carl and Langley got to do with it? Plenty, unless I'm a Dutch uncle. Look, chief, while I'm gone to the Haymarket, can you get Penny Farewell at the ring round the hospitals? To check on a man admitted with two broken legs. That's it. Now, if the result is negative, you can carry on from there with Chief Inspector Bottomley of the Yard. But he's not the murder squad. No. I know. But he's a member of your club. That means he'll listen to you. If you draw a blank on Willis in the hospitals, I want a few plainclothesmen around in Walthamstow High Street tomorrow. Well, what do you want them to do? Make an arrest.
The police said the stable was empty. That same stable contained a barrow and a jackass or donkey, whatever you call it, when I left. So Margibullis alone couldn't pull that barrow, not if it had a corpse hidden on it. But the jackass could, and that's how she got rid of her late, unamended husband. Well, it shall be as you say. But why do you suspect Colonel Langley? I was very green not to have seen it before. I had a feeling all along with something was phony. Look, check the hospitals first, chief. I know you'll draw a blank, and then the police can act. Well, miss Signor, I'm about to wine and dine a deadly dame, and I know what a victim of Lucretia Borgia felt like. Play it cool, Cannon. You bet, chief. I'm not all that green.
[00:22:47] Unknown:
Cannon concluded his dinner without incident, and I had an urgent talk with inspector Bottomley when the calls to the hospitals revealed no accident patients with two broken legs. Cannon's day to the market was repeated in the same pattern. But this time, after Carmen Langley had made her purchase of the welts at double the price they were offered elsewhere, the police closed in and arrested her. An inspection of the shellfish she'd purchased revealed not an edible sea snail, but a hoard of small diamonds, one to each shell.
Karen Langley was a runner for a notorious receiver of stolen goods. This was our method of passing the stolen jewelry along, a method that might have gone undetected forever had Willis not had that accident with a lorry. Yes, it was an accident, but he was killed outright. If the news of his death had leaked out, Marge would have lost the corner stand and the lucrative cover of Wilkes and Greens would have been lost with him. It was Caron's own cover story that worried Canon. If she did buy foodstuffs for hotels, why pay double the price, and why only Wilkes? Why not Grin's?
So now you know why the story was called Grain for Danger.
With the Blue Cash Everyday card, it's easy to earn 3% cashback on groceries at US supermarkets, US online retail purchases, and US gas stations. That's how we grow our family's little nest egg. Learn more at AmericanExpress.com/explore-bce. Terms and cashback cap apply.
[00:00:16] Unknown:
Oh, is that grovener five double nine five? Yes. Can I speak to the man in charge? He's got connection. Why do you wish to speak to him? The old man's been run over by Laurie. Are you sure you've got the right number? Yes. Ain't your assignment's unlimited? Yeah. Let's say you've got the assignment. You see, the old man was run over by a lorry, broke both his legs and went Just a minute, madam. I think you'd better come round and see us. Alright then. Where are you? 33
[00:00:42] Unknown:
Half Moon Street.
[00:01:00] Unknown:
Marge Willis could have stepped out of the first act of My Fair Lady. She crept into the office like a a shrouded field mouse, her nostrils twitching and her bright beady eyes darting hither and thither as there in such a some hidden danger. Drooping millinery adorned her head, flapping despairingly and appearing to cogitate on bitter days and grander owners. She sniffed and cleared her throat and rustled her voluminous apparel towards my desk. Appraising me with a critical eye, her mouth split into a marshal row of gold fillings as she said, you forget they called Aubrey Mason.' I am. And you must be Marge Willis. Well, it's me old man. He got run over by a lorry. Well, won't you sit down, missus Willis? It is missus Willis. To some. Marge is what they called me.
Thanks.
[00:01:50] Unknown:
There's no need to dust it, Marge. The keeners come in every morning. No. Yes. There wouldn't a posh place like this. Fourth of every, I suppose. Oh, that's better. Haven't had me weight off my plates all day. Plates. Plates and meat. Feet.
[00:02:07] Unknown:
You ever been in the barrel business? I don't think I'm acquainted with it. Orkin. You know, flogging from a barrel. No, missus, Marge. That's one branch of commerce I haven't yet tried. Pity.
[00:02:19] Unknown:
You see, I want to hire a reliable bloke on a bearer. Come to think of it, you look a bit of a Charlie, Orkin Green's round Wharf and Stone. But I was told you could dig up a boat for any sort of job. I can do that. You see, my old man got run over by a lorry Large.
[00:02:38] Unknown:
Before you tell me all about it, I feel I should warn you that Assignments Unlimited is not a labour exchange. We only undertake special jobs and, of course, we charge a special fee. Oh, lorry's no trouble. I pay £15 a day for the right bloke.
[00:02:52] Unknown:
Is the, barrow business all that good? Better if you got the right pitch. And that's the trouble, you see. My old man got run over by a lorry and broke both his legs. Now he's got Pitch 48 on the Walthamstow High Street and the ticket comes up for taking on again in a week's time, you see. And if the picture ain't taken on for the whole half year, then any piker can nip in and stitch it. And it's a corner, and you don't get corners anymore. Oh, and if my old man loses his picture on account of some snitcher,
[00:03:24] Unknown:
he won't ask give me what for when he comes out of the hospital. Oh, I think I understand, Marge. You want a substitute for your husband for a week, and you're willing to pay for it because it means you can renew your license if the Cornerstone is continuously occupied. Well, that's what I said, isn't he? Yes. Yes. I suppose you did. Well, have you got a bloke? Yes. I have, Marge. Where do you want him to report to? What's he like, this bloke? Let me see. Well, Canon's doing nothing important at the moment. He ain't a toff like you, is he? He's an American.
[00:03:53] Unknown:
A Yankee. They don't flog all the boroughs, do they? No. But this man's lived in London for some time. Now I think you can prickly show him the ropes. Can he handle himself? He gets rough on the pitch now and then. I'm sure he can cope, Marge. Right. Tell him to come to 27 Needle Street, South Walthamstow at 05:00 tomorrow morning and pick up the barber. I'll have the greens loaded and he can knock me up for the wrinkles. Wrinkles? Yes. We do wrinkles and wilks on the side, but you can't keep them in the shed, you know.
[00:04:24] Unknown:
Well, where do you keep the barge? Under the bade out of the way. But I'll show him. You're at the lolly now? Oh, no. Later will do. I've made a note of the address and I'll see that he's there at 05:00 sharp. Well, I hope there's no trouble over him being a foreigner.
[00:04:39] Unknown:
Then there's lots of yanks about since the war, ain't there? Oh, well, I feel better now. You couldn't afford to lose that corner pitch.
[00:04:47] Unknown:
You don't know my old man, do you? I've never had the pleasure of his acquaintance. Well, I hope you both like the flogging job. He's always interested in your assignments, Marge, but I'll bet in his wildest dreams he never thought he'd end up being a burrow boy. The following morning at 05:00 sharp, complete with cap and muffler, he knocked on the door of 27 Needle Street.
[00:05:08] Unknown:
Oh, Rob. Just a minute. Just a minute.
[00:05:14] Unknown:
Oh. Oh. You're a big one.
[00:05:17] Unknown:
You for mister Mason? That's right. Cannon's the name.
[00:05:22] Unknown:
And, what's so funny? Oh, the way you'd stalk. You get used to hearing yanks on the pictures, of course, when you meet him face to
[00:05:32] Unknown:
face. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I got an assignment to collect a pushcart.
[00:05:37] Unknown:
Pushcart? That's what they use for nippers. You've got a barrel cock, and that's a sight bigger than a pushcart.
[00:05:43] Unknown:
Come with me. Don't you, don't you wanna get changed first? What? It's 05:00 in the morning? I'm good enough in me penny.
[00:05:50] Unknown:
Here's the shed over here. Now, careful when you go in. Okay. Jenny doesn't like her beauty sleep disturbed. You, you got somebody living here in the shack?
[00:06:00] Unknown:
A jackass? Yeah. Don't so call me donkey word names. Jenny was a great comfort to me when the old man was doing a six on the mower. I've done this 10, dear. Lug out the wheeler.
[00:06:15] Unknown:
Look, I I got an admission to make, Mrs Willis. Marge? At Marge. I've only been in England for a few years. I, I haven't got a grasp of the language yet. You can get a grasp of that there barrow or you'll hear some right language from me, I can tell you. Oh, yeah, the, the ballad. Mrs Willis, oh, well, I suppose you went to This is some germ, and I think I've got to lug this all the way to the High Street. Well, if they talk like Raj, I should improve my knowledge of colloquial English to a degree. Talk it to yourself, Mr. Cannon. Oh, that's a bad sign. Do you drink? Well, if I didn't, I got a hunch I'd start right after the day's work's done. Well, you watch it.
[00:07:00] Unknown:
Now let's check the barrow. Oh, my cash. See? No pay laters. The greens are all where you see them, and everything's got a price written on the scales at the end there. See? Yeah. I see. Now if you find the carrots or the beans ain't going well, you could drop. But you don't change the price of the whelks, even if Sid Littman next year's something at half the price. Got it? Carrots,
[00:07:23] Unknown:
beans, scale yeah.
[00:07:27] Unknown:
Now wait a minute. What what's a whelk? Oh, you don't know what a whelk is? Blimey. I might have known. Why do they feed you, Yangsong, when you're home? A whelk is a thing in his shell. Here, these things see. They come from the seaside, south end most likely. I cook them and then you pull them out with a pin. Oh, I see. Here's half a dollar for half a pint and a watt at lunchtime. Oh, and don't let anyone near the stall except them that wants to buy. See you back here at 08:00.
[00:07:58] Unknown:
Did you say 08:00? What's the matter with you? You got cloth ears? 08:00 this morning? No, you, Nick. Tonight.
[00:08:05] Unknown:
Right. Off you go.
[00:08:07] Unknown:
K. Five in the morning to eight at night. That's fifteen hours. Well, the chief's not gonna make much profit out of this bad boy. Oh, sir. Okay, Karen. Clumble the mails of commerce.
[00:08:25] Unknown:
Karen, anticipating his thrust upon a world of strange customs and indecipherable jargon, was an evil temper when, sweating profusely, he finally steered the coster's barrow into the Walthamstow High Street.
[00:08:44] Unknown:
Fifteen quid a day. I don't need my head red. I need a private panel of phrenologists. Well, there it is. Now all I do is stand and wait for the customers, if there are any customer. Good morning. Oh, good morning, ma'am. Greens, Winkles, Wilkes.
[00:09:04] Unknown:
You're new here, aren't you? Ma'am, I'm greener than the Greens. I thought so. You haven't put your price markers up yet. The prices you're charging, it's marked on the ticket to the test your line. Feast down in top of the vegetables. Boys.
[00:09:17] Unknown:
Hey. You speak English. So does everyone in Wolfenstow High Street. Ma'am, I got news for you. You're American, aren't you? Well, it's what everybody says, so, I guess they must be right. He may have fixed the, the price markers.
[00:09:32] Unknown:
Do you, do you work here too? Oh, heavens no. I shop here. I usually buy for mister Willis, but he hasn't been here for the past two days. No. It broke his legs playing touch with a truck. Oh, I am sorry. Are you looking after the store while he's indisposed?
[00:09:46] Unknown:
That's right, ma'am. Cannon McCoster. That's me. Well, mister Cannon, now that you've got all the prices up, I'll make a few purchases. You can always remember me as your first customer. Now, how can I remember you if I, if I don't even know your name? Is that necessary? Oh, yes. It's, it's a good customer, Coster relationship. You know, despite that cap and muffler, you don't look the least bit like a costamonger. Well, that's the first kind thing that's been said to me today. It's me take off the cap. There.
Any improvement?
[00:10:20] Unknown:
Not an East End haircut.
[00:10:22] Unknown:
Take off the muffler.
[00:10:25] Unknown:
Oh, a silk shirt and tie. And I'd say it again, a seven row suit under the overalls.
[00:10:32] Unknown:
Mr. Cannon, you better get back in disguise or frighten your customers away. Well, that's great. So long as I don't frighten you away,
[00:10:39] Unknown:
miss,
[00:10:40] Unknown:
Alright. Karen Langley. Now to business. How much are the Wilks? Wilks?
[00:10:47] Unknown:
Hey. Now you don't eat Wilks. Of course all Londoners do, especially my clientele.
[00:10:52] Unknown:
Clientele? You use a word like that in Walthamstow? Well, I buy certain commodities for a group of hotels. That's my job. In some hotels, it's caviar, and in others, Wilks. It's as easy as that. Yeah.
[00:11:04] Unknown:
Don't handle the greens. Leave along the way, Wilks.
[00:11:08] Unknown:
Now if I can look over your shellfish
[00:11:11] Unknown:
Oh, sure. Sure. Help yourself, Carl. You pick them over as much as you want.
[00:11:15] Unknown:
I don't have a pin, though. Oh, I'm not going to eat any. Just see which are the best.
[00:11:20] Unknown:
You might see on the card that they're 5 shillings a quart. Well, it's considerably more than mister Mitman on the next store he's selling at. Well, Carl and I, I've got my orders. I can't sell them at less than the price mark, you see. But, well, maybe I can make it up by knocking something off the greens. Oh, I'm only interested in Wilkes, mister Gannon. K. Here we go. Five quarts coming up.
[00:11:42] Unknown:
Oh, that looks wonderful. Five quarts at 5 shillings. That's 25 shillings. There you are. Thank you.
[00:11:49] Unknown:
Hey. You nearly brought me out.
[00:11:51] Unknown:
Say, I'll finish here by eight tonight. So, how's about you and me taking in a shot? Mister Cannon, I never associate with common Costa. Hey, now just wait a minute. Good afternoon, mister Cannon. I'll be back, and perhaps with a change of heart. Just let me think on the Savile Row suit and the other civilized clappings under that rough Costa exterior. I promise you the best Chinese dinner you've ever eaten. Why Chinese?
[00:12:16] Unknown:
Well, ma'am, I couldn't look upon a spoonful of spinach ever again. The color green makes me see red. The word chlorophyll has been smitten from my vocabulary. From now on, I'm strictly a non vegetarian.
[00:12:28] Unknown:
But you'll get over it. Later, mister Cannon. Okay.
[00:12:32] Unknown:
Wow. What a dish. And the soda dame is so full of beans. Beans? Oh, no. What the
[00:12:42] Unknown:
oh, it's you. Come to fill you up again, mister Cannon. Oh, there. The belt tray's full again. Yeah. You, you don't waste any time, do you? In this racket, time and money goes together, mate. And if you don't watch the money, you're like enough to wind up doing time. Rawning was buzzing in Cannon's brain.
[00:13:01] Unknown:
His subconscious was struggling to reconstruct something that had happened during the day that wasn't logical. Of one thing, Cannon was certain. All was not what it appeared to be. In some strange way, the greens glowed for danger. In the early afternoon, Marge returned to cannon on the barrow. Hello there, big boy. Trade's brisk,
[00:13:21] Unknown:
You're good for business. Half the l is coming on to buy from you because they wants to hear you speak. Yeah. Makes me feel like a sideshow, you know. Oh, don't worry, mate. How's that taking?
[00:13:31] Unknown:
The other one? The lolly. How much do you have got? Oh,
[00:13:35] Unknown:
£8.11
[00:13:36] Unknown:
£9. Hand it over. Help yourself. It's in the drawer under the barn. Okay, good boy.
[00:13:42] Unknown:
Had any trouble? Only selling the works. Trouble with it? Well, the trouble is, Marge, nobody will buy them. Littmann next door is selling at half price. Let him. Don't you come down in price. I know what I can do it. Yeah. I guess you do it then. Or and, by the way, there's a little guy over the road lounging on the corner. He's been there all day, and he spent the time watching me like a hawk. Shown me. Over there, is he?
[00:14:06] Unknown:
That's Wally Perkins. He's copper's knark. The police? No. No. He watches where the coppers tell him, and then he splits on his mate.
[00:14:15] Unknown:
Oh, a stool pigeon. But, why is he watching me?
[00:14:20] Unknown:
Well, because you knew, I suppose. Oh, don't let him worry you. He won't see anything here. Well, there's nothing to see, I guess. That's right, big boy. And if it gives you any trouble, I'll put his eye in a sling. Well, you're more than halfway sold. You might even finish early. Yeah? At 5 Bubba Court, I'll be sitting selling seashells until this time next year. A cannon that can't get rid of his shells. I'll be back later, big boy.
[00:14:49] Unknown:
Very funny. I should have stayed in bed. That dame's right out of the comic strip. Somebody should put her back again. I'll rub her out and draw her again. Oh, Khan. Hey. The rains in Spain reign mainly in the plains. You alright? The English language. You're only the second time I heard it today. But everyone finds Cockney Jargon terribly amusing. Yeah. They like to hear Italian Grand Opera too, but that always finishes after a few hours. Well, can't you finish when you're sold out? Well, then, if there were oysters, I might run up a sign saying find the lucky girl. As it is, who wants welts for the price of caviar? I do. Those who sold me this morning were excellent. I've come for another lot. Oh, Karen, I, I know you wanna do me a favor, but, I won't let you. You see, now, the small next door is selling the same thing at half the price. What do you know about English seafood?
I want five quarts. Okay. Five quarts. Coming up. That's 25 shillings. There we are. Thank you very much. But, Khan, it's daylight robbery. You can't take those things. It's positively dishonest. You can't look me in selling them cheaper. What else?
[00:15:56] Unknown:
Yes. What else?
[00:15:58] Unknown:
Okay. Hey. Tonight, did my lady wrestle with her conscience and ordained to tangle with the humble proletariat? She did, my lord. And she thanks you.
[00:16:07] Unknown:
A Chinese dinner sounds splendid.
[00:16:10] Unknown:
You know something? That cockney noise is beginning to sound like a symphony. The captain's coming in the Haymarket. Okay? What time? 08:30. Would you have the barrel back in time? I'll run all the way. Well, the barrel will be empty. Except for the shellfish. But they'll have been here so long by then, they can run behind.
[00:16:27] Unknown:
Alright, mister Cannon. I'll be there. Egg first. Okay.
[00:16:32] Unknown:
Oh, boy. Into each life some sun shine, a modern Molly Malone in the same prescatorial pamper. What?
[00:16:42] Unknown:
You are gang All nice and fresh. Cooked
[00:16:45] Unknown:
You mean they won't have lost anything by not being under your bed all night? Yeah. Don't be cheeky, big boy. There you are. Traceful. Now look. The deal was that I could take the barrow back when it was empty. You keep pulling it up again. Keep your shirt on. You can tell them at any price you want now. No kidding? You mean even lower than Littmann? What could be lower than Littmann? Sell them at any price you like, big Marge Willis, you're about to see modern American business methods go swinging into action.
[00:17:14] Unknown:
With previous permission to drop the price on vegetables, Cannon now offered the passing shop as a bonus pack. Shellfish at a Schillinger port provided a certain quantity of greens were bought too. In an isle of Barrow was empty. Canon reflected that not even Marge Bullisworth, her wealth of experience, could have done as well as he. And so with Leithart and Leith Barrow, he proceeded quickly towards Number 27 Needle Street, South Walthamstow. He opened the doors of the stable, went to Jenny the jackass, and parked the barrow for the night. Cannon then deemed it expedient to report his dismissal from duty to March Willis.
[00:17:55] Unknown:
And where can she be? Under the bed with the wrinkles, maybe? Hey, Marge. You in there? Oh, not here. Better leave a note for her in the afternoon's cash. No. Where can I put it so it's gonna be safe? I know. With the wrinkles under the bed, nobody's gonna look bad. Better pull the bed to one side. Yes. Oh, no. Wow. Buster, I, I don't know who you are, but somebody went to work on you with more than a winkle pin. Oh, He's dead on last cold death. His body's been under this bed for a few days. Mister Connor? Mister Connor? Marge.
Connor? I'm here, Marge. What are you doing in there? Gotta pull the bed back where it was. What are you doing in my room? I, I just got here. I, I came to leave a note to say I'd finished early and to, to leave the cash from this afternoon's tank. You didn't monkey with my things, did you? Oh, I should say not. What do you think I am?
[00:19:25] Unknown:
Alright. Don't come in here again. You can leave the money on my mantelpiece and scuttle. What about tomorrow, Marge? Yeah. The same time. And wait in this table. Okay.
[00:19:37] Unknown:
I told you I could offload that stuff if you brought the price down, didn't I? You done all right. I'll be now. I've got things to do. You're the boss. So long, Marge, don't forget to cook the winkels, you might get lonesome without them under the bed. Hello, please? Now listen. My name is Ken. Yeah. Canon. That's right. And I'm speaking from a phone booth in South Walthamstow. I work at a place called Assignments Unlimited. The phone number is 595.
[00:20:22] Unknown:
Yep. 595. That's it. Now listen. I'm going there right away. The address is 33 Half Moon Street, and I'll stay there until you call. Listen. I've just come from Number 27 Needle Street, South Walthamstow, and there's the dead body of a man under the bed. He's good and dead, and he didn't die from natural causes. A hour later, we received a visit from a police inspector who had in question Kevin carefully delivered the information that Number 27 Needle Street and the stable were empty at the time of their visit, and no dead body was under the bed or anywhere else on the premises. With a test good night, the inspector left.
[00:21:00] Unknown:
But I don't get it, chief. I just don't get it. You were standing in the sun all day. Oh, don't give me that, chief. You know better than that. Look, the guy was there as large as life. Well, you know what I mean. His legs were bent underneath him. As though they'd been broken? Yeah. Hey, you think it could have been, Margibullus's husband? Perhaps. Now, what will you do now? Well, I've got to keep a date with Carl and Langley. If 27 Needle Street was empty, they won't know of the police visit. And I don't want to rouse anybody's suspicions. What's Carl and Langley got to do with it? Plenty, unless I'm a Dutch uncle. Look, chief, while I'm gone to the Haymarket, can you get Penny Farewell at the ring round the hospitals? To check on a man admitted with two broken legs. That's it. Now, if the result is negative, you can carry on from there with Chief Inspector Bottomley of the Yard. But he's not the murder squad. No. I know. But he's a member of your club. That means he'll listen to you. If you draw a blank on Willis in the hospitals, I want a few plainclothesmen around in Walthamstow High Street tomorrow. Well, what do you want them to do? Make an arrest.
The police said the stable was empty. That same stable contained a barrow and a jackass or donkey, whatever you call it, when I left. So Margibullis alone couldn't pull that barrow, not if it had a corpse hidden on it. But the jackass could, and that's how she got rid of her late, unamended husband. Well, it shall be as you say. But why do you suspect Colonel Langley? I was very green not to have seen it before. I had a feeling all along with something was phony. Look, check the hospitals first, chief. I know you'll draw a blank, and then the police can act. Well, miss Signor, I'm about to wine and dine a deadly dame, and I know what a victim of Lucretia Borgia felt like. Play it cool, Cannon. You bet, chief. I'm not all that green.
[00:22:47] Unknown:
Cannon concluded his dinner without incident, and I had an urgent talk with inspector Bottomley when the calls to the hospitals revealed no accident patients with two broken legs. Cannon's day to the market was repeated in the same pattern. But this time, after Carmen Langley had made her purchase of the welts at double the price they were offered elsewhere, the police closed in and arrested her. An inspection of the shellfish she'd purchased revealed not an edible sea snail, but a hoard of small diamonds, one to each shell.
Karen Langley was a runner for a notorious receiver of stolen goods. This was our method of passing the stolen jewelry along, a method that might have gone undetected forever had Willis not had that accident with a lorry. Yes, it was an accident, but he was killed outright. If the news of his death had leaked out, Marge would have lost the corner stand and the lucrative cover of Wilkes and Greens would have been lost with him. It was Caron's own cover story that worried Canon. If she did buy foodstuffs for hotels, why pay double the price, and why only Wilkes? Why not Grin's?
So now you know why the story was called Grain for Danger.
