In this thrilling episode, we dive into a mysterious tale involving a broken bell stay, a haunted church, and a suspicious parson. Our protagonists, Cannon and Gail Hamilton, are tasked with fixing a bell in an old church in Potter's Bar, only to find themselves embroiled in a web of deceit and danger. As they navigate the eerie setting, they encounter strange occurrences, including a supposed ghostly apparition and a sinister plot involving blackmail and dark rituals.
Join us as we unravel the mystery behind Parson Purley and his nefarious activities. With a mix of suspense and intrigue, this episode takes you on a journey through the shadows of a seemingly quiet village, revealing secrets that lie beneath the surface. Will Cannon and Gail manage to solve the mystery and bring the culprits to justice? Tune in to find out!
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[00:00:01]
Unknown:
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[00:00:45] Unknown:
What in heaven's name was that? What was what, Mr Cornish? That scream.
[00:00:49] Unknown:
It came from the loft. The loft, Mr Cornish? Now who would be in the loft while the bells were ringing? I heard a scream, I tell you. Someone's up there.' 'You're just feeling a little overwrought, Mr Cornish. Now pull on your tenor bell like a good fellow. Then you'll hear the sweet, melodious sound. Go on. Paul!' Nothing. Nothing happens. Oh, dear. Then the stay must have broken. Perhaps that's the sound you heard. It makes a funny noise when a stay breaks. I could have sworn it was a scream. But it wasn't. It couldn't have been. Just your imagination. I'll get someone out to amend the stay in the bell Loft. No.
[00:01:30] Unknown:
I mean, we can't have a stranger here. Not a man from the village. It won't be no one from the village, mister Cornish.
[00:01:37] Unknown:
It is a firm in London, does all sorts of odd jobs and no questions asked, so I'm told. No questions? Let me do the worrying, Mr. Cornish. These people are most reliable. I'll give them a ring from the Manor House. It won't take them long to get here. Their offices are at 33 Half Moon Street.
[00:02:22] Unknown:
All from the country house to the North Of London set the wheels in motion. The name of the caller suggested him to be an ecclesiastic, but his intonation belied this calling and well, it left me wondering. I couldn't imagine the voice emanating from a pulpit, and yet the man's problem seemed normal for assignments unlimited.
[00:02:40] Unknown:
The name's Purley, mister Mason Parson Purley. I'm well known in Potter's Bar, and I have a problem with a tenor bell stay in the loft. I don't know if you're acquainted with bell ringing.
[00:02:51] Unknown:
Not technically, I'm afraid.
[00:02:53] Unknown:
What exactly is wrong? The stay on the tenor bell is broken. It's really quite easy to replace, but the climb up to it's rather dangerous. I can't get a man from the village, unfortunately. The old hands are too old and the young ones
[00:03:08] Unknown:
well, I don't have to tell you what the modern day youth is like, do I? Well, I can't say that I see anything wrong with them. However, if you can't find a local man, you well, you can't, and we'll be pleased to send someone.
[00:03:20] Unknown:
How do we find you? The job will require two men, actually, mister Mason. I can explain how they go about replacing the stay in a few minutes, but it will definitely require two pairs of hands. And you can't help yourself? My arthritis precludes me from any physical labor, I'm sad to say. Alright then. Two it is. Where are you ringing from? Well, actually, I'm telephoning from the Squire's House, Cornish Manor House it's known as. One of the showpieces in this part of the world. I'm very friendly with the Squire. So my men are to report to the Cornish Manor House? No, mister Mason. If they could report to the village in the gun And magpie, it's called. I'll meet them there. The gun And magpie. I see.
[00:04:05] Unknown:
Tell me something. These are church bells you're talking about. What else, mister Mason? What else? Yes. Yes. Of course.
[00:04:14] Unknown:
When do you want them down there? This afternoon, if you can manage it. I'll put them into the village inn so they can stay over if they're not finished by this evening. You see, there is some urgency, mister Mason. We have a campanology lecture tomorrow evening, and I'd like the tenor bell back working by then. Oh, I understand.
[00:04:33] Unknown:
Very well. I'll have them report to the gun and magpie after lunch. Thank you very much, mister Mason.
[00:04:39] Unknown:
Goodbye to you. Goodbye.
[00:04:43] Unknown:
Odd sounding fellow. Who was that, chief? A man with a bug in his belfry.
[00:04:49] Unknown:
Don't you mean a a bee in his bonnet? I mean exactly what I say, Cannon.
[00:04:53] Unknown:
Parson Purley. What an odd then. Cannon? Oh, yes, dear. Do you know anything about ringing church bells?
[00:05:02] Unknown:
No. But I'm good at fixing alarm clocks. Oh, ask a silly question.
[00:05:07] Unknown:
There's a man down there well, I suppose he's a reverend really, although he doesn't sound like one. There's a man down in Potter's Bar. A stay has broken on one of his church bells and he wants two men to go down and fix it. Well, I thought the fridge always got the lousy jobs. Well, apparently it's dangerous. Oh, I see. He said he can explain how you go about it in a few minutes. I imagine it's the climbing up into the bell tower that's dangerous. Feel like taking it on? Sure. Who goes with me? That's quite a point, isn't it? Everyone's out and I've got an appointment of this robe and croft this afternoon over that security guard job for the bullion shipment. What about tomorrow? But there's some urgency.
[00:05:46] Unknown:
What was this?
[00:05:48] Unknown:
Hi, Chief.
[00:05:49] Unknown:
Hi, Count. 'Hi, Gale.
[00:05:51] Unknown:
Did everything go off all right?' 'Perfectly.' 'Gail, would you take on a job that entailed climbing up into a belfry?' what do I arrest you this time? A bat?' you'd be Cannon's assistant in making a running repair to a belle stay.' oh, easy. When do we leave?' 'Right now. It's in Potter's Bar. You could have lunch on the way.' oh, boy. An expensive can't. Oh, but let's wait until we get to Potter's Bar. There's an offbeat pub there that sells cider and welts.' the, gun and magpie.' 'Jeeve. How would you know a place like that?' well, that's where you meet the client, Parson Pelly.' 'In the pub?
How quaint!' 'That occurred to me. By the sound of his voice he'd be more at home in Petticoat Lane than in a pulpit. However, that's no concern of ours. Take the car and enjoy your lunch.' 'Roger.
[00:06:35] Unknown:
What are you looking so sour about, Canon?'
[00:06:38] Unknown:
the first time in three weeks we get an expense account and you have to pick a pub that sells cider and welts.'
[00:06:48] Unknown:
Two points of cider, two points of welks, and a loaf of olives with farm butter. Thanks.
[00:06:54] Unknown:
Say, we've gotta meet the local reverend here after lunch. Will he come in the bar, or should we wait in the lounge? We, we don't know him, you see. Reverend Martin Welsh, sir. I mean, Parson Purley. Oh, ho ho. Well,
[00:07:07] Unknown:
you like me fair worried for a minute, sir. Well, if Pearly said he was gonna meet you here, then he'll be in the four wheelbar. Who is this parson Pearly then? Oh, he's a foreigner up from London. Came here a couple of years ago when the old church was up for sale. He bought it in the 10 acres of land that stands on it. He's a pig farmer, and from what I hear, Joe, not a very good one. Still, he's always got plenty of ready about him, so maybe he's got private means.
[00:07:32] Unknown:
Then he's not a parson. Oh, bless you, lady. No. The opposite, I'd say. No. It's a nickname, you know, from him buying the old church. You know how it is. Yeah. Well, we came down to mend one of the bells. Oh, them.
[00:07:46] Unknown:
Drive you a bar, you would.
[00:07:48] Unknown:
There's folks who'd like to have seen them taken out before the sale, but, well, there they are, and they are his property, so he can do what he likes with them, I suppose, can't he? You, you mean he, he still rings them? Yeah. Every full moon, clanging away like the marker boys at South End. There's plenty who thinks he's got a screw loose. Now one thing, though, he don't get no pinching on his place.
[00:08:10] Unknown:
The locals reckon the place is haunted, and what the reverend Wells has to say about him don't help much either.
[00:08:16] Unknown:
Well, now I know why the verger didn't whisk his neck. Hold a bit of hurry. Excuse me, ladies here. Oh, I can't. I'm coming. Well,
[00:08:25] Unknown:
what do you know? The chief's got second sight. A deserted church? Haunted at full moon. If you're trying to get a rise out of me, Ken, and you're wasting your time. We mend the bell in the daylight. With any luck this afternoon Excuse me. The barman said that you're the man from London who's come to fix my tenor bell. I'm Purley.
[00:08:43] Unknown:
Oh, hi, Mr Purley. Mr Purley? Well, the bartender said the parson was on your nickname and, we're taught to be polite. The barman's a fool.
[00:08:52] Unknown:
However, let's not dwell on it. Didn't the other man come with you? I distinctly told Mr Mason that the task would require two pairs of hands. Well, meet my assistant,
[00:09:02] Unknown:
Parson Pearly, Gail Hamilton. Assignments unlimited. A woman? Don't worry about her, mister Pearly. She's as good as any two ordinary men. It's not that. It's,
[00:09:12] Unknown:
well,
[00:09:13] Unknown:
how are your nerves, miss? Like Toledo Steel. She can climb anywhere and has a head for heights. Oh, I see.
[00:09:20] Unknown:
Well, mister, Cannon. Cannon, we have a society in Potters Bar. It's a private society and the details don't really matter. Suffice to say that I'm the head of this society and the name Parson is not altogether an irreverent nickname. I did hope to have the tenor bell repair this afternoon, but at a hastily convened meeting it was decided that no work could be carried out in the old church in daylight.
[00:09:47] Unknown:
Oh, I see. Hijinks under the high moon. That was not terribly funny. Oh, don't worry about me, Preston. I'm the fifth wheel to the wagon.
[00:09:55] Unknown:
Whatever you want, we'll do it anywhere, anytime, amen. It was because you have to work at night that I was thinking about the young lady. There are certain, scurrilous rumors about the old rectory.
[00:10:06] Unknown:
The locals in Potter's Bar are notorious gossips. And they say the joint is haunted. Gale here will take it all in the right spirit. That's right.
[00:10:15] Unknown:
Then if I may be permitted to show you the ropes
[00:10:19] Unknown:
Here's
[00:10:21] Unknown:
show you the ropes both literally and metaphorically. You see, it's in the ropes that the danger lies. If you don't do it right, you can hang yourself better than the public executioner could.
[00:11:13] Unknown:
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[00:12:00] Unknown:
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[00:12:25] Unknown:
At that moment, as Cannon and Gail Hamilton talked with a shifty eyed passing Purley and the gun and magpie, they had no knowledge of the desperate cries rung from the lips of some unknown sufferer in the bell Tower. In fact, there was no logical reason for suspecting Purley of anything abnormal. Cannon, however, is a cautious operator, no doubt engendered by years of volcano lip living. And so it was that he and Gail proceeded to the old church after dark with not a little trepidation.
[00:12:59] Unknown:
You Okay, girl? I'm fine.
[00:13:01] Unknown:
The air's musty, though. Like rotten vegetation.
[00:13:05] Unknown:
But the church grounds are on the slope. Swine.
[00:13:09] Unknown:
Who? Villages?
[00:13:10] Unknown:
That's the smell. Pearlies are pig fawning.
[00:13:13] Unknown:
Parson's Pearlies, Pries Pigs permeate the parsonage. Poof. What do you say to a pig, by the way, if you meet one?
[00:13:20] Unknown:
I don't know. I guess, I guess you'd say it's swirl meeting you. They'll be penned up anyway, I hope. What do you hope? Pigs running loose can be dangerous. You're kidding. I'm not. A hog will panic if it's suddenly frightened in the dark and charge. And 400 pounds of pork are in your midriff and you'll come a proper cropper, my girl. You're just saying that'll make me nervous. No, no, no, not really. I was just trying to take your mind off the hideous ghost that stalks the lonely church at midnight. You're a pig. Be careful, I don't charge.
Well that's it. We're going in the right direction. Gives me the
[00:13:56] Unknown:
shivers. Why do we have to make the repair at night? I think that barman's right. Passing pearly's as nutty as a fruitcake. Could be. But then he doesn't know we're starting one hour early. What was that?
[00:14:11] Unknown:
I don't know. But it sure didn't sound like the mating call of a nightingale. It came from the direction of a church. They won't expect us around yet. It's maybe one of their, screwy rites, you know, like a thumbscrew. Well, what do we do? We'll fix the bell stay like the man said. That's what we came for. Come on. Can't be for now. Barely a scream away. Penny. Penny for your thoughts. I never complete the quotation. I once asked a doll in Idaho a penny for your thoughts. She thought I said a penny for your shorts. Of course, it was her bloomer. Karen, I appreciate your kindness in trying to keep my spirits up, but my morale would improve greatly if you just shut up.
[00:14:57] Unknown:
Anyway, there's the old church I have now. Yeah. And all lit up.
[00:15:03] Unknown:
We skirt round the side and shinning up to the Bow Tower. I'll have a quick look inside to see if anybody's around. Well, I'm glad the lights are on. Yeah. Makes it easier to work. You go on around the back. I'll take a look in the front door. I may as well come with you. There's no real hurry. But why don't you admit that you're scared the blazes over that two headed ghost? I am not scared. Okay. Okay. Go and look in the window. You see anything?
[00:15:31] Unknown:
How so?
[00:15:32] Unknown:
Okay. Come on. Let's go up. There's some iron staples in the wall near some place. They lead right up to the loft. Saves us going via the ringing platform and it's safer. Why safer? Well, you heard what the parson said. If you catch your head in one of those ropes, it'll hang you quicker than the executioner. Here we are. You're the staples. Okay, Gail, honey. Let's climb. Come on.
[00:15:58] Unknown:
Just
[00:15:59] Unknown:
Oh. Mind I don't tread on your fingers. Yeah. Come on. It's not much further. There. That's me. Now you come up.
[00:16:16] Unknown:
Thanks.
[00:16:21] Unknown:
There, you see that, that little one that's tilted nearly upside down? Well, that's where the stay's broken. Well, it's easy. It shouldn't take more than an hour. From the person's explanation, I don't see how it works.' 'That's because you have no mechanical mind. You see, the ropes down below on the platform are each attached to a bell. The rope is pulled until the bell is in an upright position. Then a light pull and the bell swings down and rings. Those oak staves at the top of the circle are the stays. If they weren't there the bell would swing right over in a full circle.
The one on the tenor bell is broken as you can see. That's why the bell's tilted at a crazy angle. I see.
[00:17:00] Unknown:
But the big bells only clear the floor by a couple of feet. Well, if anyone started ringing right now
[00:17:07] Unknown:
Well, go on, say it. The bell would crush you to pop but we're safe. There's nobody here. We didn't look down on the ringing platform. Well suppose you look down yeah through that hole on the floor I'll get the tackle ready to move the tennel well all right what's with you
[00:17:27] Unknown:
can can come and look
[00:17:33] Unknown:
Down there. What can you see?
[00:17:35] Unknown:
A dead boy hanging from a bell rope.
[00:17:40] Unknown:
Yeah. I see him. That that scream you heard. Yeah. Maybe. Look, we gotta get down there and cut him down. Come on this way.
[00:17:47] Unknown:
Ken, the lights. The lights have gone out.
[00:17:51] Unknown:
Gale,
[00:17:52] Unknown:
get down. Lie flat. Get down Gale, flat on the floor. Come on.
[00:18:00] Unknown:
Look, if you keep flat, you'll be alright. But who's ringing them? There's nobody there except a dead boy hanging from a rope. Look. I'm gonna crawl over to the center hole. You stay here and keep flat. If you try and stand, you'll distribute your brains around the bell tower. What you gonna do? It can only be a ghost and I brought my ghost cure outfit. Now you stay where you are. Now stay flat in your tummy baby but crawl over here. Come on.
[00:18:30] Unknown:
Whoever it was, you frightened them away. Yeah, maybe.
[00:18:34] Unknown:
Look, you hold the gun. I wanna use my flashlight. If anybody shoots, fire at their flash. Okay.
[00:18:40] Unknown:
Alrighty?
[00:18:44] Unknown:
And nobody. Not a sign of anybody to burst from.
[00:18:49] Unknown:
Cam, the body, it's gone.
[00:18:53] Unknown:
So it has. I never saw a faster resurrection.
[00:18:58] Unknown:
The rope's been cut. The rope he was hanging from. Who could have got up there?
[00:19:03] Unknown:
Now listen carefully, honey. You and me, we're gonna climb back down those outside staples and run for it across the fields. I want you to play act that you're awful scared, okay? Who says I need a play act? My knees are knocking anyway. No. We're with a price of nylons today. That's vandalism. Come on. Let's go. Alright.
[00:19:20] Unknown:
Now, don't fall whatever you do.
[00:19:23] Unknown:
You okay? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fine. Anyway, doc.
[00:19:28] Unknown:
There. Hello? Sorry. Did I startle you? Good evening, mister Cannon. Right on time. I see. Should we go in? I I have the key. Not only have you been here, Pelly. I've just arrived this minute. Why did you get here early? We did and you won't need the key. The door's open. Really? Who opened it then? It was open when we arrived and the lights were off. Follow me quickly. There. It's locked as you see. Let's go in and I'll switch on the lights. Take a few. Literally and metaphorically.
[00:20:06] Unknown:
Really old man. You have some explaining to do. Yes, I have.
[00:20:10] Unknown:
You isn't it? You're not perhaps in the way you think. You arrived here early tonight and you thought that you found the door of the church open and the lights on. We didn't think. That's what we said. Allow me to continue, please. You took the outside wall ladder to the belfry, and when you looked down onto the platform, you saw a dead lad hanging from a bell rope. The lights went out and the bells started ringing. You climbed back down and met me.
[00:20:34] Unknown:
So,
[00:20:35] Unknown:
what is this, a murder confession? No. I'm merely a repetition of a strange psychic phenomena that my society has been trying to unravel. You see, none of those things really happened. You would imagine the old thing. Yeah, you go tell that to the Ghost Squad. I see you're not convinced very well. Shall we climb up to the platform and cut the poor lad down? Somebody has done that already. When we looked again, the rope was cut and the bide gun. The rope was cut.
[00:21:03] Unknown:
Please follow me, does he says girl?
[00:21:13] Unknown:
Well, here we are. Now, Miss Hamilton, which rope was cut?
[00:21:18] Unknown:
'Can
[00:21:19] Unknown:
it's all in one piece again.' 'I know it's frightening but no harm can come to you. It's a sad tale The boy who was accidentally hanged by the bell rope.'
[00:21:29] Unknown:
you mean there was a boy hanging there?' 'Yes, a tragedy.
[00:21:33] Unknown:
But it happened nearly a hundred years ago. Now if I stay with you, do you think you might mend the stay?'
[00:21:42] Unknown:
'Sure. But that only requires one man to fix it. While I'm up there, Gale stays down here with a gun.' a gun, Mr Cannon?' 'Yeah. You see, I'm allergic to bats.'
[00:21:55] Unknown:
Do you think we should tell the chief about the psychic phenomenon, Cannon? Sure. But only after we've laid that pesky poltergeist.
[00:22:02] Unknown:
Lay the ghost? You think we're going back to London? Well, we're not. This road leads around the back of that old church, and we're paying the phony parson a fleeting visit. But why? Mainly because I think all that psychic phenomenon is bunk. Then again, it's maybe I don't like some cheap chisler trying to murder me. And don't give me all this, all in the mind jazz. If we'd been ten seconds longer dropping to the floor, Mr. Albie Mason would be advertising for two new operators. Now there's a stream runs from here right past the church. Come on, take off your shoes. We walk in the water and if it gets too deep we swim. But why go back? Because I got a feeling that the person's gonna have a meeting in that church tonight and I wanna be there to listen to his sermon.
Only I don't want him to know about it. Must we walk in the river? Yep. The parson uses those hogs like watchdogs. And there's something about pigs that I didn't mention. Together with the camel it's the only animal in the world that can't swim. Arson, I didn't mean to kill him. It must have been an accident. Of course it was an accident, my dear Timothy.
[00:23:13] Unknown:
Pardon me for using your Christian name, Mr Cornish, but we've become very close over the past few days and you can treat me as a true friend.' 'Will the police believe it was an accident?' and you, a wizard of the Black Magic Circle, Mr Cornish? I'm afraid they won't be easily convinced. But the lad's body has been neatly disposed of. Pigs are omnivorous animals, you know. Of course I shall need a little more cash. Say, £5,000. 5
[00:23:44] Unknown:
Parson, that's blackmail. An ugly word, mister Cornish. You like your mug, Parson. No. Don't do that. This gun has a reputation for being consistently accurate. Who are you? The guy who nearly bought a pig in a poke. The game's up, Parson, and you, whoever you are, don't have to worry about that kid. He's alive and kicking. It was just a stunt. Where is he? Well, I found him. In the vestry, and he's being guarded by a very, very tough baby. Yeah, he's in the vestry. I knew all along that the dirty jobs went to the verging.'
[00:24:15] Unknown:
Parson Purley's game was blackmail. He invagled Timothy Cornish into the disgusting rites of black magic, the ringing of bells being an important function. He staged the fake hanging of his youthful accomplice, meaning Cornish to find the body. But Cannon and Gail Hamilton arrived at the church an hour early and saw what they thought was the dead body of the boy. In fact, his body was supported by a box, the type provided on any bell ringing platform. Knowing he had been seen by strangers, the youth turned out the lights and began to ring the bells with the obvious intent to kill my two operators. But Canon is hard to kill.
Oh, and he's a hard headed businessman too. Parson Purley went to jail for a long time, but Timothy Cornish settled the bill quite handsomely too.
From taco night in Tulum to sushi in Tokyo, every bite is rewarding and pulse worthy with MX Gold's four times membership rewards points at restaurants worldwide. Wherever you dine, points are piling up. So bring your friends along for your next course because it's not all about the posts. It's about the company and the memories. How can gold from Amex sweeten your next food moment? Learn more at AmericanExpress.com/explore-gold. Terms and points cap apply.
[00:00:45] Unknown:
What in heaven's name was that? What was what, Mr Cornish? That scream.
[00:00:49] Unknown:
It came from the loft. The loft, Mr Cornish? Now who would be in the loft while the bells were ringing? I heard a scream, I tell you. Someone's up there.' 'You're just feeling a little overwrought, Mr Cornish. Now pull on your tenor bell like a good fellow. Then you'll hear the sweet, melodious sound. Go on. Paul!' Nothing. Nothing happens. Oh, dear. Then the stay must have broken. Perhaps that's the sound you heard. It makes a funny noise when a stay breaks. I could have sworn it was a scream. But it wasn't. It couldn't have been. Just your imagination. I'll get someone out to amend the stay in the bell Loft. No.
[00:01:30] Unknown:
I mean, we can't have a stranger here. Not a man from the village. It won't be no one from the village, mister Cornish.
[00:01:37] Unknown:
It is a firm in London, does all sorts of odd jobs and no questions asked, so I'm told. No questions? Let me do the worrying, Mr. Cornish. These people are most reliable. I'll give them a ring from the Manor House. It won't take them long to get here. Their offices are at 33 Half Moon Street.
[00:02:22] Unknown:
All from the country house to the North Of London set the wheels in motion. The name of the caller suggested him to be an ecclesiastic, but his intonation belied this calling and well, it left me wondering. I couldn't imagine the voice emanating from a pulpit, and yet the man's problem seemed normal for assignments unlimited.
[00:02:40] Unknown:
The name's Purley, mister Mason Parson Purley. I'm well known in Potter's Bar, and I have a problem with a tenor bell stay in the loft. I don't know if you're acquainted with bell ringing.
[00:02:51] Unknown:
Not technically, I'm afraid.
[00:02:53] Unknown:
What exactly is wrong? The stay on the tenor bell is broken. It's really quite easy to replace, but the climb up to it's rather dangerous. I can't get a man from the village, unfortunately. The old hands are too old and the young ones
[00:03:08] Unknown:
well, I don't have to tell you what the modern day youth is like, do I? Well, I can't say that I see anything wrong with them. However, if you can't find a local man, you well, you can't, and we'll be pleased to send someone.
[00:03:20] Unknown:
How do we find you? The job will require two men, actually, mister Mason. I can explain how they go about replacing the stay in a few minutes, but it will definitely require two pairs of hands. And you can't help yourself? My arthritis precludes me from any physical labor, I'm sad to say. Alright then. Two it is. Where are you ringing from? Well, actually, I'm telephoning from the Squire's House, Cornish Manor House it's known as. One of the showpieces in this part of the world. I'm very friendly with the Squire. So my men are to report to the Cornish Manor House? No, mister Mason. If they could report to the village in the gun And magpie, it's called. I'll meet them there. The gun And magpie. I see.
[00:04:05] Unknown:
Tell me something. These are church bells you're talking about. What else, mister Mason? What else? Yes. Yes. Of course.
[00:04:14] Unknown:
When do you want them down there? This afternoon, if you can manage it. I'll put them into the village inn so they can stay over if they're not finished by this evening. You see, there is some urgency, mister Mason. We have a campanology lecture tomorrow evening, and I'd like the tenor bell back working by then. Oh, I understand.
[00:04:33] Unknown:
Very well. I'll have them report to the gun and magpie after lunch. Thank you very much, mister Mason.
[00:04:39] Unknown:
Goodbye to you. Goodbye.
[00:04:43] Unknown:
Odd sounding fellow. Who was that, chief? A man with a bug in his belfry.
[00:04:49] Unknown:
Don't you mean a a bee in his bonnet? I mean exactly what I say, Cannon.
[00:04:53] Unknown:
Parson Purley. What an odd then. Cannon? Oh, yes, dear. Do you know anything about ringing church bells?
[00:05:02] Unknown:
No. But I'm good at fixing alarm clocks. Oh, ask a silly question.
[00:05:07] Unknown:
There's a man down there well, I suppose he's a reverend really, although he doesn't sound like one. There's a man down in Potter's Bar. A stay has broken on one of his church bells and he wants two men to go down and fix it. Well, I thought the fridge always got the lousy jobs. Well, apparently it's dangerous. Oh, I see. He said he can explain how you go about it in a few minutes. I imagine it's the climbing up into the bell tower that's dangerous. Feel like taking it on? Sure. Who goes with me? That's quite a point, isn't it? Everyone's out and I've got an appointment of this robe and croft this afternoon over that security guard job for the bullion shipment. What about tomorrow? But there's some urgency.
[00:05:46] Unknown:
What was this?
[00:05:48] Unknown:
Hi, Chief.
[00:05:49] Unknown:
Hi, Count. 'Hi, Gale.
[00:05:51] Unknown:
Did everything go off all right?' 'Perfectly.' 'Gail, would you take on a job that entailed climbing up into a belfry?' what do I arrest you this time? A bat?' you'd be Cannon's assistant in making a running repair to a belle stay.' oh, easy. When do we leave?' 'Right now. It's in Potter's Bar. You could have lunch on the way.' oh, boy. An expensive can't. Oh, but let's wait until we get to Potter's Bar. There's an offbeat pub there that sells cider and welts.' the, gun and magpie.' 'Jeeve. How would you know a place like that?' well, that's where you meet the client, Parson Pelly.' 'In the pub?
How quaint!' 'That occurred to me. By the sound of his voice he'd be more at home in Petticoat Lane than in a pulpit. However, that's no concern of ours. Take the car and enjoy your lunch.' 'Roger.
[00:06:35] Unknown:
What are you looking so sour about, Canon?'
[00:06:38] Unknown:
the first time in three weeks we get an expense account and you have to pick a pub that sells cider and welts.'
[00:06:48] Unknown:
Two points of cider, two points of welks, and a loaf of olives with farm butter. Thanks.
[00:06:54] Unknown:
Say, we've gotta meet the local reverend here after lunch. Will he come in the bar, or should we wait in the lounge? We, we don't know him, you see. Reverend Martin Welsh, sir. I mean, Parson Purley. Oh, ho ho. Well,
[00:07:07] Unknown:
you like me fair worried for a minute, sir. Well, if Pearly said he was gonna meet you here, then he'll be in the four wheelbar. Who is this parson Pearly then? Oh, he's a foreigner up from London. Came here a couple of years ago when the old church was up for sale. He bought it in the 10 acres of land that stands on it. He's a pig farmer, and from what I hear, Joe, not a very good one. Still, he's always got plenty of ready about him, so maybe he's got private means.
[00:07:32] Unknown:
Then he's not a parson. Oh, bless you, lady. No. The opposite, I'd say. No. It's a nickname, you know, from him buying the old church. You know how it is. Yeah. Well, we came down to mend one of the bells. Oh, them.
[00:07:46] Unknown:
Drive you a bar, you would.
[00:07:48] Unknown:
There's folks who'd like to have seen them taken out before the sale, but, well, there they are, and they are his property, so he can do what he likes with them, I suppose, can't he? You, you mean he, he still rings them? Yeah. Every full moon, clanging away like the marker boys at South End. There's plenty who thinks he's got a screw loose. Now one thing, though, he don't get no pinching on his place.
[00:08:10] Unknown:
The locals reckon the place is haunted, and what the reverend Wells has to say about him don't help much either.
[00:08:16] Unknown:
Well, now I know why the verger didn't whisk his neck. Hold a bit of hurry. Excuse me, ladies here. Oh, I can't. I'm coming. Well,
[00:08:25] Unknown:
what do you know? The chief's got second sight. A deserted church? Haunted at full moon. If you're trying to get a rise out of me, Ken, and you're wasting your time. We mend the bell in the daylight. With any luck this afternoon Excuse me. The barman said that you're the man from London who's come to fix my tenor bell. I'm Purley.
[00:08:43] Unknown:
Oh, hi, Mr Purley. Mr Purley? Well, the bartender said the parson was on your nickname and, we're taught to be polite. The barman's a fool.
[00:08:52] Unknown:
However, let's not dwell on it. Didn't the other man come with you? I distinctly told Mr Mason that the task would require two pairs of hands. Well, meet my assistant,
[00:09:02] Unknown:
Parson Pearly, Gail Hamilton. Assignments unlimited. A woman? Don't worry about her, mister Pearly. She's as good as any two ordinary men. It's not that. It's,
[00:09:12] Unknown:
well,
[00:09:13] Unknown:
how are your nerves, miss? Like Toledo Steel. She can climb anywhere and has a head for heights. Oh, I see.
[00:09:20] Unknown:
Well, mister, Cannon. Cannon, we have a society in Potters Bar. It's a private society and the details don't really matter. Suffice to say that I'm the head of this society and the name Parson is not altogether an irreverent nickname. I did hope to have the tenor bell repair this afternoon, but at a hastily convened meeting it was decided that no work could be carried out in the old church in daylight.
[00:09:47] Unknown:
Oh, I see. Hijinks under the high moon. That was not terribly funny. Oh, don't worry about me, Preston. I'm the fifth wheel to the wagon.
[00:09:55] Unknown:
Whatever you want, we'll do it anywhere, anytime, amen. It was because you have to work at night that I was thinking about the young lady. There are certain, scurrilous rumors about the old rectory.
[00:10:06] Unknown:
The locals in Potter's Bar are notorious gossips. And they say the joint is haunted. Gale here will take it all in the right spirit. That's right.
[00:10:15] Unknown:
Then if I may be permitted to show you the ropes
[00:10:19] Unknown:
Here's
[00:10:21] Unknown:
show you the ropes both literally and metaphorically. You see, it's in the ropes that the danger lies. If you don't do it right, you can hang yourself better than the public executioner could.
[00:11:13] Unknown:
The following classic Springbok Radio commercial comes to you with a courtesy of the Springbok Radio Preservation Society of South Africa. Rice pancakes. There's something to sing about. Tastic rice pancakes, of course, because tastic rice is wonderful in all sorts of recipes. And tastic rice is rich in the vital b group vitamins and it's so economical. So insist on perfect cooking tastic rice.
[00:11:37] Unknown:
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[00:11:48] Unknown:
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[00:12:00] Unknown:
To box 20 Industria Transvaal for your copy of that wonderful tastic rice recipe book.
[00:12:25] Unknown:
At that moment, as Cannon and Gail Hamilton talked with a shifty eyed passing Purley and the gun and magpie, they had no knowledge of the desperate cries rung from the lips of some unknown sufferer in the bell Tower. In fact, there was no logical reason for suspecting Purley of anything abnormal. Cannon, however, is a cautious operator, no doubt engendered by years of volcano lip living. And so it was that he and Gail proceeded to the old church after dark with not a little trepidation.
[00:12:59] Unknown:
You Okay, girl? I'm fine.
[00:13:01] Unknown:
The air's musty, though. Like rotten vegetation.
[00:13:05] Unknown:
But the church grounds are on the slope. Swine.
[00:13:09] Unknown:
Who? Villages?
[00:13:10] Unknown:
That's the smell. Pearlies are pig fawning.
[00:13:13] Unknown:
Parson's Pearlies, Pries Pigs permeate the parsonage. Poof. What do you say to a pig, by the way, if you meet one?
[00:13:20] Unknown:
I don't know. I guess, I guess you'd say it's swirl meeting you. They'll be penned up anyway, I hope. What do you hope? Pigs running loose can be dangerous. You're kidding. I'm not. A hog will panic if it's suddenly frightened in the dark and charge. And 400 pounds of pork are in your midriff and you'll come a proper cropper, my girl. You're just saying that'll make me nervous. No, no, no, not really. I was just trying to take your mind off the hideous ghost that stalks the lonely church at midnight. You're a pig. Be careful, I don't charge.
Well that's it. We're going in the right direction. Gives me the
[00:13:56] Unknown:
shivers. Why do we have to make the repair at night? I think that barman's right. Passing pearly's as nutty as a fruitcake. Could be. But then he doesn't know we're starting one hour early. What was that?
[00:14:11] Unknown:
I don't know. But it sure didn't sound like the mating call of a nightingale. It came from the direction of a church. They won't expect us around yet. It's maybe one of their, screwy rites, you know, like a thumbscrew. Well, what do we do? We'll fix the bell stay like the man said. That's what we came for. Come on. Can't be for now. Barely a scream away. Penny. Penny for your thoughts. I never complete the quotation. I once asked a doll in Idaho a penny for your thoughts. She thought I said a penny for your shorts. Of course, it was her bloomer. Karen, I appreciate your kindness in trying to keep my spirits up, but my morale would improve greatly if you just shut up.
[00:14:57] Unknown:
Anyway, there's the old church I have now. Yeah. And all lit up.
[00:15:03] Unknown:
We skirt round the side and shinning up to the Bow Tower. I'll have a quick look inside to see if anybody's around. Well, I'm glad the lights are on. Yeah. Makes it easier to work. You go on around the back. I'll take a look in the front door. I may as well come with you. There's no real hurry. But why don't you admit that you're scared the blazes over that two headed ghost? I am not scared. Okay. Okay. Go and look in the window. You see anything?
[00:15:31] Unknown:
How so?
[00:15:32] Unknown:
Okay. Come on. Let's go up. There's some iron staples in the wall near some place. They lead right up to the loft. Saves us going via the ringing platform and it's safer. Why safer? Well, you heard what the parson said. If you catch your head in one of those ropes, it'll hang you quicker than the executioner. Here we are. You're the staples. Okay, Gail, honey. Let's climb. Come on.
[00:15:58] Unknown:
Just
[00:15:59] Unknown:
Oh. Mind I don't tread on your fingers. Yeah. Come on. It's not much further. There. That's me. Now you come up.
[00:16:16] Unknown:
Thanks.
[00:16:21] Unknown:
There, you see that, that little one that's tilted nearly upside down? Well, that's where the stay's broken. Well, it's easy. It shouldn't take more than an hour. From the person's explanation, I don't see how it works.' 'That's because you have no mechanical mind. You see, the ropes down below on the platform are each attached to a bell. The rope is pulled until the bell is in an upright position. Then a light pull and the bell swings down and rings. Those oak staves at the top of the circle are the stays. If they weren't there the bell would swing right over in a full circle.
The one on the tenor bell is broken as you can see. That's why the bell's tilted at a crazy angle. I see.
[00:17:00] Unknown:
But the big bells only clear the floor by a couple of feet. Well, if anyone started ringing right now
[00:17:07] Unknown:
Well, go on, say it. The bell would crush you to pop but we're safe. There's nobody here. We didn't look down on the ringing platform. Well suppose you look down yeah through that hole on the floor I'll get the tackle ready to move the tennel well all right what's with you
[00:17:27] Unknown:
can can come and look
[00:17:33] Unknown:
Down there. What can you see?
[00:17:35] Unknown:
A dead boy hanging from a bell rope.
[00:17:40] Unknown:
Yeah. I see him. That that scream you heard. Yeah. Maybe. Look, we gotta get down there and cut him down. Come on this way.
[00:17:47] Unknown:
Ken, the lights. The lights have gone out.
[00:17:51] Unknown:
Gale,
[00:17:52] Unknown:
get down. Lie flat. Get down Gale, flat on the floor. Come on.
[00:18:00] Unknown:
Look, if you keep flat, you'll be alright. But who's ringing them? There's nobody there except a dead boy hanging from a rope. Look. I'm gonna crawl over to the center hole. You stay here and keep flat. If you try and stand, you'll distribute your brains around the bell tower. What you gonna do? It can only be a ghost and I brought my ghost cure outfit. Now you stay where you are. Now stay flat in your tummy baby but crawl over here. Come on.
[00:18:30] Unknown:
Whoever it was, you frightened them away. Yeah, maybe.
[00:18:34] Unknown:
Look, you hold the gun. I wanna use my flashlight. If anybody shoots, fire at their flash. Okay.
[00:18:40] Unknown:
Alrighty?
[00:18:44] Unknown:
And nobody. Not a sign of anybody to burst from.
[00:18:49] Unknown:
Cam, the body, it's gone.
[00:18:53] Unknown:
So it has. I never saw a faster resurrection.
[00:18:58] Unknown:
The rope's been cut. The rope he was hanging from. Who could have got up there?
[00:19:03] Unknown:
Now listen carefully, honey. You and me, we're gonna climb back down those outside staples and run for it across the fields. I want you to play act that you're awful scared, okay? Who says I need a play act? My knees are knocking anyway. No. We're with a price of nylons today. That's vandalism. Come on. Let's go. Alright.
[00:19:20] Unknown:
Now, don't fall whatever you do.
[00:19:23] Unknown:
You okay? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fine. Anyway, doc.
[00:19:28] Unknown:
There. Hello? Sorry. Did I startle you? Good evening, mister Cannon. Right on time. I see. Should we go in? I I have the key. Not only have you been here, Pelly. I've just arrived this minute. Why did you get here early? We did and you won't need the key. The door's open. Really? Who opened it then? It was open when we arrived and the lights were off. Follow me quickly. There. It's locked as you see. Let's go in and I'll switch on the lights. Take a few. Literally and metaphorically.
[00:20:06] Unknown:
Really old man. You have some explaining to do. Yes, I have.
[00:20:10] Unknown:
You isn't it? You're not perhaps in the way you think. You arrived here early tonight and you thought that you found the door of the church open and the lights on. We didn't think. That's what we said. Allow me to continue, please. You took the outside wall ladder to the belfry, and when you looked down onto the platform, you saw a dead lad hanging from a bell rope. The lights went out and the bells started ringing. You climbed back down and met me.
[00:20:34] Unknown:
So,
[00:20:35] Unknown:
what is this, a murder confession? No. I'm merely a repetition of a strange psychic phenomena that my society has been trying to unravel. You see, none of those things really happened. You would imagine the old thing. Yeah, you go tell that to the Ghost Squad. I see you're not convinced very well. Shall we climb up to the platform and cut the poor lad down? Somebody has done that already. When we looked again, the rope was cut and the bide gun. The rope was cut.
[00:21:03] Unknown:
Please follow me, does he says girl?
[00:21:13] Unknown:
Well, here we are. Now, Miss Hamilton, which rope was cut?
[00:21:18] Unknown:
'Can
[00:21:19] Unknown:
it's all in one piece again.' 'I know it's frightening but no harm can come to you. It's a sad tale The boy who was accidentally hanged by the bell rope.'
[00:21:29] Unknown:
you mean there was a boy hanging there?' 'Yes, a tragedy.
[00:21:33] Unknown:
But it happened nearly a hundred years ago. Now if I stay with you, do you think you might mend the stay?'
[00:21:42] Unknown:
'Sure. But that only requires one man to fix it. While I'm up there, Gale stays down here with a gun.' a gun, Mr Cannon?' 'Yeah. You see, I'm allergic to bats.'
[00:21:55] Unknown:
Do you think we should tell the chief about the psychic phenomenon, Cannon? Sure. But only after we've laid that pesky poltergeist.
[00:22:02] Unknown:
Lay the ghost? You think we're going back to London? Well, we're not. This road leads around the back of that old church, and we're paying the phony parson a fleeting visit. But why? Mainly because I think all that psychic phenomenon is bunk. Then again, it's maybe I don't like some cheap chisler trying to murder me. And don't give me all this, all in the mind jazz. If we'd been ten seconds longer dropping to the floor, Mr. Albie Mason would be advertising for two new operators. Now there's a stream runs from here right past the church. Come on, take off your shoes. We walk in the water and if it gets too deep we swim. But why go back? Because I got a feeling that the person's gonna have a meeting in that church tonight and I wanna be there to listen to his sermon.
Only I don't want him to know about it. Must we walk in the river? Yep. The parson uses those hogs like watchdogs. And there's something about pigs that I didn't mention. Together with the camel it's the only animal in the world that can't swim. Arson, I didn't mean to kill him. It must have been an accident. Of course it was an accident, my dear Timothy.
[00:23:13] Unknown:
Pardon me for using your Christian name, Mr Cornish, but we've become very close over the past few days and you can treat me as a true friend.' 'Will the police believe it was an accident?' and you, a wizard of the Black Magic Circle, Mr Cornish? I'm afraid they won't be easily convinced. But the lad's body has been neatly disposed of. Pigs are omnivorous animals, you know. Of course I shall need a little more cash. Say, £5,000. 5
[00:23:44] Unknown:
Parson, that's blackmail. An ugly word, mister Cornish. You like your mug, Parson. No. Don't do that. This gun has a reputation for being consistently accurate. Who are you? The guy who nearly bought a pig in a poke. The game's up, Parson, and you, whoever you are, don't have to worry about that kid. He's alive and kicking. It was just a stunt. Where is he? Well, I found him. In the vestry, and he's being guarded by a very, very tough baby. Yeah, he's in the vestry. I knew all along that the dirty jobs went to the verging.'
[00:24:15] Unknown:
Parson Purley's game was blackmail. He invagled Timothy Cornish into the disgusting rites of black magic, the ringing of bells being an important function. He staged the fake hanging of his youthful accomplice, meaning Cornish to find the body. But Cannon and Gail Hamilton arrived at the church an hour early and saw what they thought was the dead body of the boy. In fact, his body was supported by a box, the type provided on any bell ringing platform. Knowing he had been seen by strangers, the youth turned out the lights and began to ring the bells with the obvious intent to kill my two operators. But Canon is hard to kill.
Oh, and he's a hard headed businessman too. Parson Purley went to jail for a long time, but Timothy Cornish settled the bill quite handsomely too.
