In this thrilling episode, we delve into a seemingly simple mission that quickly escalates into a complex web of intrigue and deception. Our protagonist, tasked with rescuing a kitten from a tree, finds himself embroiled in a high-stakes treasure hunt involving counterfeit currency plates. As the story unfolds, we witness a cunning plot orchestrated by Enid Blythe Shearer and her accomplice, Drobless, to destabilize the financial system using counterfeit money. The narrative takes unexpected turns as the characters navigate through layers of deceit, ultimately leading to a dramatic confrontation that exposes the true nature of the conspiracy.
Join us as we unravel the mystery behind the counterfeit operation and the ingenious methods used to recruit unsuspecting individuals into a criminal network. With suspenseful twists and a touch of humor, this episode keeps you on the edge of your seat, revealing the lengths to which some will go to achieve their nefarious goals. Discover how our hero, with wit and resourcefulness, manages to thwart the villains' plans and restore order, all while ensuring that Mrs. Blanchard's kitten is safely back on the ground.
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Entertainment Radio | Broadcasting Classic Radio Shows | Patreon
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
[00:00:00]
Unknown:
With the American Express Platinum Card, you can unlock over $1,500 in value annually with statement credits on select purchases and other benefits. That means getting access to even more of your favorite things. More jet setting, more trend setting, and more resetting. And downward dog. The stage is set for you to do even more with the American Express Platinum part. Learn more at AmericanExpress.com/US/explore-platinum. Terms apply.
[00:00:35] Unknown:
Kerbin.
[00:00:36] Unknown:
Wake up, mother boy. You've got work to do. Gail? Who else? Well, what is it? What do you want me to do? Rescue a cat from a tree.
[00:00:44] Unknown:
Oh, now come on. It's only 06:00. The street's not even here. Be serious. I am serious. And you're the only one available.
[00:00:51] Unknown:
The lady's name is Mrs. Maude Blanchard and she'll pick you up in half an hour outside Aubrey's pad. Aubrey's pad. What's that? It's a pet name Penny Fairweather and I dreamed up for the offices at 33 Half Moon Street.
[00:01:29] Unknown:
It's often been the case that the client contracting for one of my operators has not always been what he seems. The call to my office from Mrs Maud Blanchard was to rescue a kitten from a large elm tree in her Hinton garden. Let me say at the outset that there was nothing mysterious at all about Mrs Blanchard. In fact, she was a pillar of Hendon Society. However, the ramifications of that simple cat rescue operation were to echo like thunder through the quiet suburb.
[00:02:06] Unknown:
On time like the Big Ben clock. What are you doing here? I thought you said on the telephone that I was the only one available. At the time you were. There was a change of plan. Great.
[00:02:15] Unknown:
Okay, so you can rescue the cat. Wrong cannon. Mrs. Maude Blanchard, the cat's owner says it's too dangerous for a woman to handle. Pussies perched on the Nevermost branch.
[00:02:24] Unknown:
Well, the lady's obviously never heard of Gail Hamilton. And by the way, where is she? Mrs. Blanchard. Oh, she's gone in such a tranquilizer. I'm to drive you to her house in Hendon in your car. Well, the chief has taken the officer car to Dover. You drive my car? Now that's real danger. I'll be the pilot if you don't mind coming up in. No dice Gail, take a look up there. See where the kitten's gotten itself? That branch won't hold my weight. Sh shall I try? Well you might look like a bird of paradise honey but weight wise the resemblance ends there. Thanks. Now we gotta devise a new plan. Now you see that branch below the cat, the one that hangs over the neighbor's wall? Uh-huh. I want you to climb out along that limb and get ready to catch the kitten. I'll go up above you and cut through the branch it's perched on. That way it'll fall right in your lap. Alright. Have you got a knife? Mhmm. And whatever you do don't let the critter fall into the next door neighbour's yard. There's a real mean looking dog prowling around in there.
[00:03:24] Unknown:
Okay, let's try, Zoey. Right. Go on up.
[00:03:29] Unknown:
Hey, Tim. Easy, where am I?
[00:03:34] Unknown:
Why have you stopped? Shh.
[00:03:36] Unknown:
The neighbors are coming over this way.
[00:03:38] Unknown:
So? Oh, we haven't got Mrs. Blanchard to explain if they see us. Well, look, I'll prop a couple of Charlies of the neighbors see us up in this tree. Well, they can see the cat too. A grown man woman trying to rescue one small kitten. Can I be embarrassed?
[00:03:51] Unknown:
Okay, so we lie low. It's on your head if that kitten falls into the jaws of Philo next door. They're coming right up to the wall. Okay. I've given a great deal of thought droplets to whoever could put the box. I've finally decided on the place for the wall here. Not only is it out of the way but the Glanshott's elm tree next door. See? Hangs right over it. Is that important to you? I think so. The place is permanent shade and the ground is always soggy. Drink it here in the soil you can feel for yourself. Yes, you're right. Hardly the part of the garden to which you bring a young lady in stiletto heels.
That'll guarantee its anonymity until the treasure hunt is officially announced.
[00:04:27] Unknown:
How many people are you expecting at the party? Oh, about 50. Are they all from the upper middle class? Really lovely. The way you categorize people. I was taught that the English upper middle class were the epitome of honesty and good behaviour.
[00:04:43] Unknown:
Then it's time you dismissed your instructor. Once they know that a treasure hunt is to be organised and that the prize is a case of champagne they'll be all over the grounds to try and find the treasure with a hefty disregard for the rules. You amaze me. Do I? Then I'm flattered droplets. Now, it's of paramount importance that young Kenneth Tracy finds the treasure. I'll explain how we go about that later. Right now I want you to get a spade from the gardener's shed and cut out a square of turf under this tree here. Dig a hole, put the box in it and then replace the turf exactly as you found it. Yes, I'll do that, Enid.
[00:05:21] Unknown:
Is the box watertight? Of course.
[00:05:24] Unknown:
I'd hardly entrust £10,000,000 to a cardboard carton, would I? I shall see that you get full credit for your ingenuity. You can have the credit drop, Izz. I'll stick with the cash and the sweet life. Well, come on, we've not got a great deal of time left before the park. You'll have a hundred and one things to do.
[00:05:43] Unknown:
Did you, did you catch all that? Every word. Well, what do you think? That there's gonna be one swell party here tonight. Well, the party gained yet and the jackpot's £2,000,000.
[00:05:53] Unknown:
That must have been just a figure of speech. That's some figure. Well, it's got nothing to do with us. I'm not too sure.
[00:06:00] Unknown:
Although that drablers guy speaks perfect English, he's a foreigner. And why should the regal looking Dame cook the treasure hunt for the sake of a case of champagne? It's none of our business, Canon. Yeah. Well, I'd sure like to be at that party tonight. There you go again. Your mother must have reared you on Pinocchio. Fifty guests. That's an awful lot of people under fairy lights. They wouldn't even notice another tune. Say, how's your wardrobe on party dresses? Are you suggesting that we gate crash this party tonight? Well, it'll give us an official invitation, that's for sure. But why do you want a gold cannon? I want to get a look inside that box that Fen Grubb is is shortly gonna bury. What else?
[00:06:37] Unknown:
Wouldn't it be easier to satisfy your curiosity by simply waiting until Drubvis is hidden the box and then shooing over the wall to take a look when he's gone? Uh-uh. You forget Fido the bullmastiff.
[00:06:47] Unknown:
He knows we're up in this tree and from the look on his slobbering mug he's wishing we'd fall out of it. Great bells and buckets of blood. And what's with you? The cat we came to rescue. I don't see it anymore.
[00:06:59] Unknown:
Well, I do. Where is it? Don't look up, look down. It's over by the kitchen door lapping at a saucer of milk.
[00:07:10] Unknown:
Did you, get a look at the front gate, girl? Yes. There's a man on duty in green livery. He's checking all the invitations.
[00:07:16] Unknown:
So that lets us out. How do we get into Mrs Blanchard's garden? Won't her to all be luck too? You bet.
[00:07:22] Unknown:
She, wouldn't have her cats stray, but I got a key. I Lloyd, I won't use it again after tonight, I promise. I'll drop it where the gardener can't fail to see it. He'll pick it up and think he just dropped it by accident. I checked whether the front gate was bolted and it wasn't so, let's get inside. Now come on. Be nice and quiet because tranquilizers are not available to missus Blanchard's cats. Oh, and take it easy up at the entry. If you rip something, you might have a hard time explaining in the ladies' retirement room. But come on. Up quick and over. Go on.
Easy. Made
[00:08:08] Unknown:
it. Should we look for the box now?
[00:08:11] Unknown:
No. Let's, let's mingle with the motley throne. I wanna make sure the old demon drabrys are nowhere near this end of the garden. Yeah.
[00:08:23] Unknown:
Close silence for your hostess, Mrs Enid Blythe Shearer.
[00:08:26] Unknown:
Thank you Kenneth. Darlings, I just wanted to welcome you formally to the party. I think you all know each other. Oh, except perhaps a very dear friend of mine from Oxford, Mark Drovlies. After the buffet supper, we're to have a treasure hunt and the prize will be a case of champagne. And no cheating. You'll each be given the first clue and then you have to follow the clues you'll find. They will finally lead you to a buried box. Instructions are on the lid and the first one to fulfill these instructions will be the winner.
Now, I want you all to have a simply marvellous time. Come, Ken, if you can get any glass of punch. Yes, of course.
[00:09:15] Unknown:
Gail, come on. Move over here out of sight. Look like we're, shy young lovers.
[00:09:21] Unknown:
You heard what the ladies said. They all know each other. Except for drampers. And you don't look a bit like drampers. Here, hang on to this glass. Where'd you get that? I brought two of them with me and a half bottle of champagne. Just hold it a minute. Yeah. And don't drink it too fast. It's only a prop. A prop is what I need right now. Here we are.
[00:09:49] Unknown:
What about the bottle?
[00:09:52] Unknown:
Toss it over into Mrs. Blanchard's garden. Mrs. Blanchard's gonna be real upset when she finds one of her cats has hit the bottle. Okay. I'll look for the turf where you hid that box. You keep a look on her. Right. Okay. I got it. Now give me that hand trowel I told you to put in your bag. Here. Thanks.
[00:10:26] Unknown:
Have you got it? Yeah.
[00:10:28] Unknown:
Yeah. Just hang on a second.
[00:10:32] Unknown:
Yeah, it's a middle box, a foot square. So Mrs. Blythe Sherrer was only playing the fool when she said it contained £10,000,000
[00:10:39] Unknown:
You couldn't get a thousand into that thing. Well, it doesn't have to be banknotes, does it? That box is awfully small for the crown jewels.
[00:10:46] Unknown:
There's some instructions on the lid. Let me see, says take this treasure chest to the warehouse in Merchant's Lane Stepney. Save the watchman. I am the bearer of good tidings. He will take the box and after you've left, telephone here to confirm that you've completed the task. The things the idle rich cook up. Well, this treasure hunt's cooked up for a guy called Kenneth Tracy, remember? But what's inside the box? I don't know. It's locked. Well, that's never bothered you before. Doesn't know. Just a minute.
[00:11:22] Unknown:
Well? What's inside?
[00:11:25] Unknown:
Two flat pieces of metal. So it is just a gag after all. I told you all that talk of £10,000,000
[00:11:31] Unknown:
was baloney. Well, you put these two things in your bag. But why? Just do as I say. Gonna lock this box again and put it right back where we found it minus the contents. What on Earth's the point of keeping two worthless flat pieces of metal? Those worthless flat pieces of metal engraving plates. Engraving plates for turning out unlimited quantities of counterfeit banknotes.
[00:11:54] Unknown:
Being unaware of the dangers that were to beset canon on his self appointed mission, I confess that my sentiments towards him leaned in this direction. Had I known what Jobless really represented, I would have been apprehensive to say the least.
[00:12:12] Unknown:
Merchant's Lane. Now this is it. Now what did the instructions say? The warehouse.
[00:12:17] Unknown:
Well, I hope there's not more than one. Oh, that must be it. I hope it's right what the watchmoor think I'm loony. Good evening. Are you the watchman? Yeah. Oh, quite the conversationalist, aren't we. I have a box and a message. Make sense to you? That's right. All right, here it is. Oh and a message: I am the bearer of good tidings.
[00:12:49] Unknown:
Righto.
[00:12:50] Unknown:
There. Oh don't forget to telephone Mrs. Blyshearer. Good night.
[00:13:16] Unknown:
Hello? Oh, it's you. So he arrived all right? Good. The password? Fine. What did you say? Repeat that. But that's not possible. If this is any of your doing Oh, I see. Very well. I'll inform Job is Good night.
[00:13:45] Unknown:
Job is? Job is Hello, Mrs. Leyshire. All present and correct. I delivered the tin box the man said he found. Get out of my way. All right Mrs Blytheshare, is something wrong? Nothing's disastrous. Oh, drop is Did I hear you calling me in it? Yes. There's been a an accident. Well, I can see by the look on your face. We'd better go into the study. Is there something I can do Mrs Blytheshare? Yes. Drop dead.
[00:14:07] Unknown:
In here drop
[00:14:11] Unknown:
it.
[00:14:13] Unknown:
Very well. What is it? He delivered the box. It was empty. What did you say? The box was empty. Karl used his duplicate key after that ass kill of Tracy had left and the box was empty.' 'But I put the plates in there myself.' 'I know you did but someone took them out again.' 'But who?
[00:14:33] Unknown:
Nobody went near that elm tree. And even if they did, how could they have known a box was buried there?
[00:14:39] Unknown:
Or for that matter, how could they have opened it? Oh, it was a simple two lever lock. Any skeleton key could have opened it.
[00:14:45] Unknown:
Now let me think. The place we decided upon under that elm tree was known only to you and me. I put the plates into the box in this study, and we walked together to the tree when I buried the box under the new cut turf. There was nobody else in the house at the time. Even the gardener had been sent off. So one of three people could have opened that box
[00:15:07] Unknown:
you, me
[00:15:09] Unknown:
or Kenneth Tracy? You can exclude us. I have a duty to perform and the plates would be worthless to you. It's what they produce that holds your interest. Don't take me out too mercenary. Don't let's kid ourselves, Mrs. Blaise here. Get Tracy. I want him in here.
[00:15:25] Unknown:
Go now. As you wish. Kenneth? Kenneth? Oh, it's you. Oh, I lost my temper, didn't I darling?
[00:15:37] Unknown:
So sorry. Alright. Then what is it all about? Well,
[00:15:42] Unknown:
I received some disturbing news on the telephone. About the box? Did I deliver it to the wrong address? No dear boy, of course not. You went to the right place. Dear friends, the winner of the treasure hunt is Kenneth Tracy. And so I'm going to ask you to come into the study and collect his prize. A case of the finest champagne. Come, Kenneth. And you can pour me a glass of champagne to show that you'll forgive me. A treasure, Mrs. Blowsherder. This way
[00:16:18] Unknown:
I've never known such an easy treasure hunt in my life. I only had three clues to follow and there I was under the elm tree. It was a piece of cake. Why did you open the tin box? That wasn't in the instructions. But I didn't open it. You lied. Now look here, old boy. What did you do with the contents of the box? I didn't touch it. It was locked. Mrs. Burchard, please, what's this all about? Talk. You'd better do as he says, Kenneth. Well, what do you want to know? You opened the box. I didn't. I didn't. I swear I didn't. Leave me alone please.
[00:16:51] Unknown:
T don't leave me alone. Don't stop until you kill him, Kenneth.
[00:16:55] Unknown:
Who's that? Tell them to go away. You come here and if you so much as whimper I'll wring your neck.
[00:17:08] Unknown:
What was it, Enid? A note from my neighbour, Mrs Blanchard. Throw it away. I'd better not drop this. She expects an immediate reply. If she doesn't get one she'll become suspicious. I've always been on the most formal and correct terms with her. Correct.
[00:17:23] Unknown:
Well, then read it quickly. There's little time and I must find out what this pipsqueak did with the plates. Dear Mrs. Brown Oh, hurry up woman.
[00:17:33] Unknown:
Douglas, I think you ought to hear what she has to say. I have no time for foolish neighbourly memoranda. It's more than that. We must get rid of Kenneth, send him back to the party. So that he can tell everyone that I beat him up. Are you quite mad? I must leave this to you in private.
[00:17:48] Unknown:
Right. You come here. What are you going to do?
[00:17:57] Unknown:
You're a ruthless brute, aren't you?
[00:18:01] Unknown:
Sometimes I have to be. Very well, what does the note say?
[00:18:06] Unknown:
Dear Mrs Blythe Sherrer, I have a small complaint. One of your guests threw an empty champagne bottle over my wall and it landed on my new kitten. The poor creature was so frightened that it ran to the top of the elm tree and refuses to come down. Listen Only this morning I paid a firm in the West End 10 Guineas to rescue the kitten from the top of the elm tree and I feel a little distressed that the effort was all to no avail. Sincerely, Maud Blanchard.'
[00:18:39] Unknown:
'Have you taken leave of your senses, Enid? What do I care about a kitten trapped in a tree?' the elm tree drumvist. The elm tree. Don't you see?
[00:18:49] Unknown:
When we buried that box this morning there was someone up in the elm tree. He must have seen and heard everything.' Great Scott Now we know where the plate's disappeared to. I was sure that spineless ass Tracy had nothing to do with it. Well, what can we do now? We must get rid of Tracy. For a while anyway. Oh, pour a bottle of champagne over him and I'll tell everyone he's had too much to blink and if you're going to take him home. Put him in a car and take him to the warehouse. Karl can look after him there. And the place? I'll ring this firm in the West End.
I'll get the address from Mrs Blanchard. You'll ask them to come out again to rescue the cat? I'll ask for the same man. They won't know my voice and Mrs Blanchard's voice on the telephone can't be very much different from mine. She quite naturally asked for the same man since he completed the job satisfactory last time. Oh, hello. Yes, Mrs Blythe Shearer here. I'm fine, thank you. 'Look, I'm most terribly sorry about that bottle incident.' 'Yes, they do get a little rowdy.' 'What's the name of that firm in the West End? I would like to bear a cost to bringing the man out again.' Well, yes, I thought I'd get onto them right away.
We can't have a poor kitten stranded in the tree, can we? The thought is too terrible. It might easily fall. Yes, Mrs Bandshard, those of us with a gentle nature abhor these things. Oh, just a moment, I'll jot it down. Right. 33 Half Moon Street.
[00:20:34] Unknown:
Yeah? Hannah? Yeah. You still have that phone booth over from missus Boyes here, hon? Yes. Look, did you ring the office and give them your number? Of course I did. That's why I'm ringing your phone box. Have anything happened there at the warehouse? Silent as a tomb. Why did you phone?
[00:20:47] Unknown:
Penny Fairweather's just run up to say that Mrs. Blanchard's kitten has run up the tree again and could we come at once to rescue it? Mhmm. And what have Penny said? She said, alright. My. But here's the rub. Missus Blanchard said she especially wanted the same man who rescued the kitten this morning. She said she'd taken a fancy to him. Well, missus Blanchard had never set eyes on me. That's what I expected to say, but, she never even saw me. Yeah. Fishy, isn't it? Mhmm. Cannon. Wasn't her? There's someone coming through the blind sharers gate. It's it's droppers. Uh-huh. He's supporting someone.
[00:21:22] Unknown:
Looks as though he's drunk. Well, take a good look. Who is it?
[00:21:26] Unknown:
It's Kenneth Tracy, the young man who took the box to the warehouse. Are you sure? I saw him arrive at the warehouse, didn't I?
[00:21:33] Unknown:
Well, my guess is that drivers will bring him here. Look, leave that phone booth and come on over here right away. To the warehouse? To this phone booth in Merchant's Lane. Ring Penny Fairweather and tell her what you're doing and tell her to stand by that Alpha's phone. Okay. Now make it quick and make it quiet. And Gail? Yeah? Keep your hands free because you might need to use them.
[00:22:03] Unknown:
I have the most difficult time getting away, drop this. What on earth do you want to be at the warehouse this time of night?
[00:22:10] Unknown:
Who are who are you?
[00:22:12] Unknown:
The name's Canon, ma'am. I believe you wanted me on a cat rescue job. Hi. No, no, no, no, don't try anything. All your friends are here. There's Karl, Tracy, drop this whole ember place. Don't touch me. You're a man. You wouldn't hit a woman. That's right. He wouldn't hit a woman. Drobless And while Drobless was phoning you he had my knife at his back. What a setup you had organised, Mrs Blythe Shearer. I congratulate you, on the currency racket that is. But for that stinking game you tried to play tonight I hope you go up the river for a long, long time.'
[00:22:44] Unknown:
There was a strange ending to the story and I was anxious to hear from Canon's own lips exactly what had transpired. He sat as usual in my office, arms akimbo, a cigarette dangling from the corner of his unsmiling mouth.
[00:22:58] Unknown:
You see, Drogvis was a Communist agent and the plates were made behind the Iron Curtain. When they started rolling the country would have been flooded with phony money. It's an old trick with the communist to disrupt a country's financial structure. But what got my goat was the method they used to recruit suckers into their net. Young Kenneth Tracy was a cinch. Once he'd delivered the plates they would then have blackmailed him into working for them. Enid Blythe Shearer would have had little trouble in proving that he was an accessory to their crimes, and they got Enid into their net by the same method.
Oh, and by the way, chief, we won't have to go to old missus Blanchard's house again on a cat rescue because, I gave her the phone number of the local fire brigade.
[00:24:04] Unknown:
With the American Express Platinum Card, you can unlock over $1,500 in value annually with statement credits on select purchases and other benefits. That means getting access to even more of your favorite things. More jet setting, more trend setting, and more resetting. And downward dog. The stage is set for you to do even more with the American Express Platinum card. Learn more at americanexpress.com/us/explore-platinum. Terms apply.
With the American Express Platinum Card, you can unlock over $1,500 in value annually with statement credits on select purchases and other benefits. That means getting access to even more of your favorite things. More jet setting, more trend setting, and more resetting. And downward dog. The stage is set for you to do even more with the American Express Platinum part. Learn more at AmericanExpress.com/US/explore-platinum. Terms apply.
[00:00:35] Unknown:
Kerbin.
[00:00:36] Unknown:
Wake up, mother boy. You've got work to do. Gail? Who else? Well, what is it? What do you want me to do? Rescue a cat from a tree.
[00:00:44] Unknown:
Oh, now come on. It's only 06:00. The street's not even here. Be serious. I am serious. And you're the only one available.
[00:00:51] Unknown:
The lady's name is Mrs. Maude Blanchard and she'll pick you up in half an hour outside Aubrey's pad. Aubrey's pad. What's that? It's a pet name Penny Fairweather and I dreamed up for the offices at 33 Half Moon Street.
[00:01:29] Unknown:
It's often been the case that the client contracting for one of my operators has not always been what he seems. The call to my office from Mrs Maud Blanchard was to rescue a kitten from a large elm tree in her Hinton garden. Let me say at the outset that there was nothing mysterious at all about Mrs Blanchard. In fact, she was a pillar of Hendon Society. However, the ramifications of that simple cat rescue operation were to echo like thunder through the quiet suburb.
[00:02:06] Unknown:
On time like the Big Ben clock. What are you doing here? I thought you said on the telephone that I was the only one available. At the time you were. There was a change of plan. Great.
[00:02:15] Unknown:
Okay, so you can rescue the cat. Wrong cannon. Mrs. Maude Blanchard, the cat's owner says it's too dangerous for a woman to handle. Pussies perched on the Nevermost branch.
[00:02:24] Unknown:
Well, the lady's obviously never heard of Gail Hamilton. And by the way, where is she? Mrs. Blanchard. Oh, she's gone in such a tranquilizer. I'm to drive you to her house in Hendon in your car. Well, the chief has taken the officer car to Dover. You drive my car? Now that's real danger. I'll be the pilot if you don't mind coming up in. No dice Gail, take a look up there. See where the kitten's gotten itself? That branch won't hold my weight. Sh shall I try? Well you might look like a bird of paradise honey but weight wise the resemblance ends there. Thanks. Now we gotta devise a new plan. Now you see that branch below the cat, the one that hangs over the neighbor's wall? Uh-huh. I want you to climb out along that limb and get ready to catch the kitten. I'll go up above you and cut through the branch it's perched on. That way it'll fall right in your lap. Alright. Have you got a knife? Mhmm. And whatever you do don't let the critter fall into the next door neighbour's yard. There's a real mean looking dog prowling around in there.
[00:03:24] Unknown:
Okay, let's try, Zoey. Right. Go on up.
[00:03:29] Unknown:
Hey, Tim. Easy, where am I?
[00:03:34] Unknown:
Why have you stopped? Shh.
[00:03:36] Unknown:
The neighbors are coming over this way.
[00:03:38] Unknown:
So? Oh, we haven't got Mrs. Blanchard to explain if they see us. Well, look, I'll prop a couple of Charlies of the neighbors see us up in this tree. Well, they can see the cat too. A grown man woman trying to rescue one small kitten. Can I be embarrassed?
[00:03:51] Unknown:
Okay, so we lie low. It's on your head if that kitten falls into the jaws of Philo next door. They're coming right up to the wall. Okay. I've given a great deal of thought droplets to whoever could put the box. I've finally decided on the place for the wall here. Not only is it out of the way but the Glanshott's elm tree next door. See? Hangs right over it. Is that important to you? I think so. The place is permanent shade and the ground is always soggy. Drink it here in the soil you can feel for yourself. Yes, you're right. Hardly the part of the garden to which you bring a young lady in stiletto heels.
That'll guarantee its anonymity until the treasure hunt is officially announced.
[00:04:27] Unknown:
How many people are you expecting at the party? Oh, about 50. Are they all from the upper middle class? Really lovely. The way you categorize people. I was taught that the English upper middle class were the epitome of honesty and good behaviour.
[00:04:43] Unknown:
Then it's time you dismissed your instructor. Once they know that a treasure hunt is to be organised and that the prize is a case of champagne they'll be all over the grounds to try and find the treasure with a hefty disregard for the rules. You amaze me. Do I? Then I'm flattered droplets. Now, it's of paramount importance that young Kenneth Tracy finds the treasure. I'll explain how we go about that later. Right now I want you to get a spade from the gardener's shed and cut out a square of turf under this tree here. Dig a hole, put the box in it and then replace the turf exactly as you found it. Yes, I'll do that, Enid.
[00:05:21] Unknown:
Is the box watertight? Of course.
[00:05:24] Unknown:
I'd hardly entrust £10,000,000 to a cardboard carton, would I? I shall see that you get full credit for your ingenuity. You can have the credit drop, Izz. I'll stick with the cash and the sweet life. Well, come on, we've not got a great deal of time left before the park. You'll have a hundred and one things to do.
[00:05:43] Unknown:
Did you, did you catch all that? Every word. Well, what do you think? That there's gonna be one swell party here tonight. Well, the party gained yet and the jackpot's £2,000,000.
[00:05:53] Unknown:
That must have been just a figure of speech. That's some figure. Well, it's got nothing to do with us. I'm not too sure.
[00:06:00] Unknown:
Although that drablers guy speaks perfect English, he's a foreigner. And why should the regal looking Dame cook the treasure hunt for the sake of a case of champagne? It's none of our business, Canon. Yeah. Well, I'd sure like to be at that party tonight. There you go again. Your mother must have reared you on Pinocchio. Fifty guests. That's an awful lot of people under fairy lights. They wouldn't even notice another tune. Say, how's your wardrobe on party dresses? Are you suggesting that we gate crash this party tonight? Well, it'll give us an official invitation, that's for sure. But why do you want a gold cannon? I want to get a look inside that box that Fen Grubb is is shortly gonna bury. What else?
[00:06:37] Unknown:
Wouldn't it be easier to satisfy your curiosity by simply waiting until Drubvis is hidden the box and then shooing over the wall to take a look when he's gone? Uh-uh. You forget Fido the bullmastiff.
[00:06:47] Unknown:
He knows we're up in this tree and from the look on his slobbering mug he's wishing we'd fall out of it. Great bells and buckets of blood. And what's with you? The cat we came to rescue. I don't see it anymore.
[00:06:59] Unknown:
Well, I do. Where is it? Don't look up, look down. It's over by the kitchen door lapping at a saucer of milk.
[00:07:10] Unknown:
Did you, get a look at the front gate, girl? Yes. There's a man on duty in green livery. He's checking all the invitations.
[00:07:16] Unknown:
So that lets us out. How do we get into Mrs Blanchard's garden? Won't her to all be luck too? You bet.
[00:07:22] Unknown:
She, wouldn't have her cats stray, but I got a key. I Lloyd, I won't use it again after tonight, I promise. I'll drop it where the gardener can't fail to see it. He'll pick it up and think he just dropped it by accident. I checked whether the front gate was bolted and it wasn't so, let's get inside. Now come on. Be nice and quiet because tranquilizers are not available to missus Blanchard's cats. Oh, and take it easy up at the entry. If you rip something, you might have a hard time explaining in the ladies' retirement room. But come on. Up quick and over. Go on.
Easy. Made
[00:08:08] Unknown:
it. Should we look for the box now?
[00:08:11] Unknown:
No. Let's, let's mingle with the motley throne. I wanna make sure the old demon drabrys are nowhere near this end of the garden. Yeah.
[00:08:23] Unknown:
Close silence for your hostess, Mrs Enid Blythe Shearer.
[00:08:26] Unknown:
Thank you Kenneth. Darlings, I just wanted to welcome you formally to the party. I think you all know each other. Oh, except perhaps a very dear friend of mine from Oxford, Mark Drovlies. After the buffet supper, we're to have a treasure hunt and the prize will be a case of champagne. And no cheating. You'll each be given the first clue and then you have to follow the clues you'll find. They will finally lead you to a buried box. Instructions are on the lid and the first one to fulfill these instructions will be the winner.
Now, I want you all to have a simply marvellous time. Come, Ken, if you can get any glass of punch. Yes, of course.
[00:09:15] Unknown:
Gail, come on. Move over here out of sight. Look like we're, shy young lovers.
[00:09:21] Unknown:
You heard what the ladies said. They all know each other. Except for drampers. And you don't look a bit like drampers. Here, hang on to this glass. Where'd you get that? I brought two of them with me and a half bottle of champagne. Just hold it a minute. Yeah. And don't drink it too fast. It's only a prop. A prop is what I need right now. Here we are.
[00:09:49] Unknown:
What about the bottle?
[00:09:52] Unknown:
Toss it over into Mrs. Blanchard's garden. Mrs. Blanchard's gonna be real upset when she finds one of her cats has hit the bottle. Okay. I'll look for the turf where you hid that box. You keep a look on her. Right. Okay. I got it. Now give me that hand trowel I told you to put in your bag. Here. Thanks.
[00:10:26] Unknown:
Have you got it? Yeah.
[00:10:28] Unknown:
Yeah. Just hang on a second.
[00:10:32] Unknown:
Yeah, it's a middle box, a foot square. So Mrs. Blythe Sherrer was only playing the fool when she said it contained £10,000,000
[00:10:39] Unknown:
You couldn't get a thousand into that thing. Well, it doesn't have to be banknotes, does it? That box is awfully small for the crown jewels.
[00:10:46] Unknown:
There's some instructions on the lid. Let me see, says take this treasure chest to the warehouse in Merchant's Lane Stepney. Save the watchman. I am the bearer of good tidings. He will take the box and after you've left, telephone here to confirm that you've completed the task. The things the idle rich cook up. Well, this treasure hunt's cooked up for a guy called Kenneth Tracy, remember? But what's inside the box? I don't know. It's locked. Well, that's never bothered you before. Doesn't know. Just a minute.
[00:11:22] Unknown:
Well? What's inside?
[00:11:25] Unknown:
Two flat pieces of metal. So it is just a gag after all. I told you all that talk of £10,000,000
[00:11:31] Unknown:
was baloney. Well, you put these two things in your bag. But why? Just do as I say. Gonna lock this box again and put it right back where we found it minus the contents. What on Earth's the point of keeping two worthless flat pieces of metal? Those worthless flat pieces of metal engraving plates. Engraving plates for turning out unlimited quantities of counterfeit banknotes.
[00:11:54] Unknown:
Being unaware of the dangers that were to beset canon on his self appointed mission, I confess that my sentiments towards him leaned in this direction. Had I known what Jobless really represented, I would have been apprehensive to say the least.
[00:12:12] Unknown:
Merchant's Lane. Now this is it. Now what did the instructions say? The warehouse.
[00:12:17] Unknown:
Well, I hope there's not more than one. Oh, that must be it. I hope it's right what the watchmoor think I'm loony. Good evening. Are you the watchman? Yeah. Oh, quite the conversationalist, aren't we. I have a box and a message. Make sense to you? That's right. All right, here it is. Oh and a message: I am the bearer of good tidings.
[00:12:49] Unknown:
Righto.
[00:12:50] Unknown:
There. Oh don't forget to telephone Mrs. Blyshearer. Good night.
[00:13:16] Unknown:
Hello? Oh, it's you. So he arrived all right? Good. The password? Fine. What did you say? Repeat that. But that's not possible. If this is any of your doing Oh, I see. Very well. I'll inform Job is Good night.
[00:13:45] Unknown:
Job is? Job is Hello, Mrs. Leyshire. All present and correct. I delivered the tin box the man said he found. Get out of my way. All right Mrs Blytheshare, is something wrong? Nothing's disastrous. Oh, drop is Did I hear you calling me in it? Yes. There's been a an accident. Well, I can see by the look on your face. We'd better go into the study. Is there something I can do Mrs Blytheshare? Yes. Drop dead.
[00:14:07] Unknown:
In here drop
[00:14:11] Unknown:
it.
[00:14:13] Unknown:
Very well. What is it? He delivered the box. It was empty. What did you say? The box was empty. Karl used his duplicate key after that ass kill of Tracy had left and the box was empty.' 'But I put the plates in there myself.' 'I know you did but someone took them out again.' 'But who?
[00:14:33] Unknown:
Nobody went near that elm tree. And even if they did, how could they have known a box was buried there?
[00:14:39] Unknown:
Or for that matter, how could they have opened it? Oh, it was a simple two lever lock. Any skeleton key could have opened it.
[00:14:45] Unknown:
Now let me think. The place we decided upon under that elm tree was known only to you and me. I put the plates into the box in this study, and we walked together to the tree when I buried the box under the new cut turf. There was nobody else in the house at the time. Even the gardener had been sent off. So one of three people could have opened that box
[00:15:07] Unknown:
you, me
[00:15:09] Unknown:
or Kenneth Tracy? You can exclude us. I have a duty to perform and the plates would be worthless to you. It's what they produce that holds your interest. Don't take me out too mercenary. Don't let's kid ourselves, Mrs. Blaise here. Get Tracy. I want him in here.
[00:15:25] Unknown:
Go now. As you wish. Kenneth? Kenneth? Oh, it's you. Oh, I lost my temper, didn't I darling?
[00:15:37] Unknown:
So sorry. Alright. Then what is it all about? Well,
[00:15:42] Unknown:
I received some disturbing news on the telephone. About the box? Did I deliver it to the wrong address? No dear boy, of course not. You went to the right place. Dear friends, the winner of the treasure hunt is Kenneth Tracy. And so I'm going to ask you to come into the study and collect his prize. A case of the finest champagne. Come, Kenneth. And you can pour me a glass of champagne to show that you'll forgive me. A treasure, Mrs. Blowsherder. This way
[00:16:18] Unknown:
I've never known such an easy treasure hunt in my life. I only had three clues to follow and there I was under the elm tree. It was a piece of cake. Why did you open the tin box? That wasn't in the instructions. But I didn't open it. You lied. Now look here, old boy. What did you do with the contents of the box? I didn't touch it. It was locked. Mrs. Burchard, please, what's this all about? Talk. You'd better do as he says, Kenneth. Well, what do you want to know? You opened the box. I didn't. I didn't. I swear I didn't. Leave me alone please.
[00:16:51] Unknown:
T don't leave me alone. Don't stop until you kill him, Kenneth.
[00:16:55] Unknown:
Who's that? Tell them to go away. You come here and if you so much as whimper I'll wring your neck.
[00:17:08] Unknown:
What was it, Enid? A note from my neighbour, Mrs Blanchard. Throw it away. I'd better not drop this. She expects an immediate reply. If she doesn't get one she'll become suspicious. I've always been on the most formal and correct terms with her. Correct.
[00:17:23] Unknown:
Well, then read it quickly. There's little time and I must find out what this pipsqueak did with the plates. Dear Mrs. Brown Oh, hurry up woman.
[00:17:33] Unknown:
Douglas, I think you ought to hear what she has to say. I have no time for foolish neighbourly memoranda. It's more than that. We must get rid of Kenneth, send him back to the party. So that he can tell everyone that I beat him up. Are you quite mad? I must leave this to you in private.
[00:17:48] Unknown:
Right. You come here. What are you going to do?
[00:17:57] Unknown:
You're a ruthless brute, aren't you?
[00:18:01] Unknown:
Sometimes I have to be. Very well, what does the note say?
[00:18:06] Unknown:
Dear Mrs Blythe Sherrer, I have a small complaint. One of your guests threw an empty champagne bottle over my wall and it landed on my new kitten. The poor creature was so frightened that it ran to the top of the elm tree and refuses to come down. Listen Only this morning I paid a firm in the West End 10 Guineas to rescue the kitten from the top of the elm tree and I feel a little distressed that the effort was all to no avail. Sincerely, Maud Blanchard.'
[00:18:39] Unknown:
'Have you taken leave of your senses, Enid? What do I care about a kitten trapped in a tree?' the elm tree drumvist. The elm tree. Don't you see?
[00:18:49] Unknown:
When we buried that box this morning there was someone up in the elm tree. He must have seen and heard everything.' Great Scott Now we know where the plate's disappeared to. I was sure that spineless ass Tracy had nothing to do with it. Well, what can we do now? We must get rid of Tracy. For a while anyway. Oh, pour a bottle of champagne over him and I'll tell everyone he's had too much to blink and if you're going to take him home. Put him in a car and take him to the warehouse. Karl can look after him there. And the place? I'll ring this firm in the West End.
I'll get the address from Mrs Blanchard. You'll ask them to come out again to rescue the cat? I'll ask for the same man. They won't know my voice and Mrs Blanchard's voice on the telephone can't be very much different from mine. She quite naturally asked for the same man since he completed the job satisfactory last time. Oh, hello. Yes, Mrs Blythe Shearer here. I'm fine, thank you. 'Look, I'm most terribly sorry about that bottle incident.' 'Yes, they do get a little rowdy.' 'What's the name of that firm in the West End? I would like to bear a cost to bringing the man out again.' Well, yes, I thought I'd get onto them right away.
We can't have a poor kitten stranded in the tree, can we? The thought is too terrible. It might easily fall. Yes, Mrs Bandshard, those of us with a gentle nature abhor these things. Oh, just a moment, I'll jot it down. Right. 33 Half Moon Street.
[00:20:34] Unknown:
Yeah? Hannah? Yeah. You still have that phone booth over from missus Boyes here, hon? Yes. Look, did you ring the office and give them your number? Of course I did. That's why I'm ringing your phone box. Have anything happened there at the warehouse? Silent as a tomb. Why did you phone?
[00:20:47] Unknown:
Penny Fairweather's just run up to say that Mrs. Blanchard's kitten has run up the tree again and could we come at once to rescue it? Mhmm. And what have Penny said? She said, alright. My. But here's the rub. Missus Blanchard said she especially wanted the same man who rescued the kitten this morning. She said she'd taken a fancy to him. Well, missus Blanchard had never set eyes on me. That's what I expected to say, but, she never even saw me. Yeah. Fishy, isn't it? Mhmm. Cannon. Wasn't her? There's someone coming through the blind sharers gate. It's it's droppers. Uh-huh. He's supporting someone.
[00:21:22] Unknown:
Looks as though he's drunk. Well, take a good look. Who is it?
[00:21:26] Unknown:
It's Kenneth Tracy, the young man who took the box to the warehouse. Are you sure? I saw him arrive at the warehouse, didn't I?
[00:21:33] Unknown:
Well, my guess is that drivers will bring him here. Look, leave that phone booth and come on over here right away. To the warehouse? To this phone booth in Merchant's Lane. Ring Penny Fairweather and tell her what you're doing and tell her to stand by that Alpha's phone. Okay. Now make it quick and make it quiet. And Gail? Yeah? Keep your hands free because you might need to use them.
[00:22:03] Unknown:
I have the most difficult time getting away, drop this. What on earth do you want to be at the warehouse this time of night?
[00:22:10] Unknown:
Who are who are you?
[00:22:12] Unknown:
The name's Canon, ma'am. I believe you wanted me on a cat rescue job. Hi. No, no, no, no, don't try anything. All your friends are here. There's Karl, Tracy, drop this whole ember place. Don't touch me. You're a man. You wouldn't hit a woman. That's right. He wouldn't hit a woman. Drobless And while Drobless was phoning you he had my knife at his back. What a setup you had organised, Mrs Blythe Shearer. I congratulate you, on the currency racket that is. But for that stinking game you tried to play tonight I hope you go up the river for a long, long time.'
[00:22:44] Unknown:
There was a strange ending to the story and I was anxious to hear from Canon's own lips exactly what had transpired. He sat as usual in my office, arms akimbo, a cigarette dangling from the corner of his unsmiling mouth.
[00:22:58] Unknown:
You see, Drogvis was a Communist agent and the plates were made behind the Iron Curtain. When they started rolling the country would have been flooded with phony money. It's an old trick with the communist to disrupt a country's financial structure. But what got my goat was the method they used to recruit suckers into their net. Young Kenneth Tracy was a cinch. Once he'd delivered the plates they would then have blackmailed him into working for them. Enid Blythe Shearer would have had little trouble in proving that he was an accessory to their crimes, and they got Enid into their net by the same method.
Oh, and by the way, chief, we won't have to go to old missus Blanchard's house again on a cat rescue because, I gave her the phone number of the local fire brigade.
[00:24:04] Unknown:
With the American Express Platinum Card, you can unlock over $1,500 in value annually with statement credits on select purchases and other benefits. That means getting access to even more of your favorite things. More jet setting, more trend setting, and more resetting. And downward dog. The stage is set for you to do even more with the American Express Platinum card. Learn more at americanexpress.com/us/explore-platinum. Terms apply.
