In this intriguing episode, we delve into the world of Assignments Unlimited, a company that prides itself on handling any task, anywhere, at any time. Our protagonist, Aubrey Mason, finds himself entangled in a peculiar assignment involving a theatrical agent named Mr. Katz and a supposed kitten arriving on a train. However, the assignment takes an unexpected turn when the "kitten" turns out to be Marie Lavour, a charming French actress. As Cannon, Mason's colleague, navigates this unexpected twist, he must decide whether to follow his orders or adapt to the situation at hand.
The plot thickens as Cannon uncovers a web of deception involving Mr. Katz, who is not what he seems. The story unfolds with Cannon's quick wit and determination leading him to unravel Katz's true intentions, which involve a dangerous game of smuggling narcotics. This episode is a thrilling ride through the world of espionage and deception, showcasing the unpredictable nature of assignments at 33 Half Moon Street. Join us as we explore the twists and turns of this captivating narrative.
(00:15) Introduction to Assignments Unlimited
(01:01) Theatrical Client: Mr. Katz's Request
(04:31) The Unexpected 'Kitten' Assignment
(07:07) A Day with Marie Lavour
(10:51) Unraveling Mr. Katz's Deception
(17:39) The Confrontation and Discovery
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[00:00:01]
Unknown:
Check engine light on? Take the guesswork out of your check engine light with O'Reilly BaraScan. It's free. Ask for O'Reilly BaraScan today. O'Reilly
[00:00:16] Unknown:
That's right. But I work in good old London town. My, last assignment took me to The States. Really? May I ask what sort of work you do, mister Kennan? Well, let's see. $64 question. Company's name is Assignments Unlimited, and my boss lives up to it like a battle on her. Come up and see me sometime at, 33 Half Moon Street. Aubrey Mason at your service. At Assignments Unlimited, we do anything,
[00:00:40] Unknown:
anywhere, at any time. 33
[00:00:43] Unknown:
Half Moon Street.
[00:01:02] Unknown:
I have a file in front of me. On the front cover is boldly typed, a kitten for mister Katz. To say that mister Benjamin Katz paid us a visit at 33 Half Moon Street would not be strictly accurate. He descended on our peace and quiet in this backwater like a clap of thunder. Mister Katz was a man of few words, but he had a lot to say. It's part of the routine at Assignments Unlimited that I lend a patient an attentive ear.
[00:01:32] Unknown:
I'm in the theatrical profession, mister Mason. Casting mainly. You've got quite a few things on the go at the moment. Theater's having a boom. Vaudeville's on the way back. Television, radio, motion pictures, films, you know. Yeah. I know. You know what? It keeps me on the go all the time. Never have a chance to sit still for a moment. I'm here today, and tomorrow, I'll be in the Midlands after that over Italy to shoot a scene of a girl on the beach bouncing a ball. That's for a TV commercial. Why they have to go all the way to Italy just to get a girl bouncing a ball on a beach beats me. It must be very tragic. Oh, but I never let it get me down. Get in there and fight, I say. If you don't get the job done, your competitors will get there ahead of you. Romantic game show business. That's what you think. Cutthroat, mister Mason. That's the word to really describe it. A knife in the back.
What is it exactly that you wish us to do? Oh, what's that? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, a little job, but they told me you handle anything. Is that right? That's right. Well, great. Here's my card. Send the account there and it'll be sent right away. Well, I must get going. You gotta be in The Midlands First thing tomorrow. Mister Katz. Uh-huh. Is it film stunting or something like that? Film stunt. All the job. Yeah. Well, I didn't say, did I? No. Now when I got a little female kitten arriving on the boat train lunchtime tomorrow, she's got someone on the train looking after her, and he'll hand the kitten over to your man in the platform buffet if he's there at lunchtime. I just look after her until I get back from the Midlands day after tomorrow. Well, now I really must have run. Been a pleasure meeting you, mister Mason. Do you ever go to the theater? Often. Well, I'll send you tickets for my next review. Goodbye. Good afternoon, mister Katz.
[00:03:02] Unknown:
You okay, chief? Cannon.
[00:03:04] Unknown:
Nice to see you. Come in.
[00:03:07] Unknown:
You, you having trouble with that guy? No. No.
[00:03:10] Unknown:
Just a client. He's a little exuberant. Well, he must have spent his prenatal days on a machine gun for him. How was the trip to Washington? Oh, went off without a hitch. Do I get a furlough? Surely five days on the Queen Elizabeth was enough? Yeah. That's what I thought you'd say. So I'm reporting for duty. As it happens,
[00:03:27] Unknown:
I have a small thing here for tomorrow. The, Mr. Katz, the man who just left.
[00:03:32] Unknown:
How did you know his man? I looked in the appointment spot.
[00:03:35] Unknown:
He's got a kitten arriving on the boat train at King's Cross tomorrow. We have to look after it until he gets back from the Midlands. So you want me to go to King's Cross with a quarter milks? Oh, something like that. The kitten's in charge of a man on the train. He'll hand over to you in the platform buffet at lunchtime. Well, how'll I know this guy? Well, there shouldn't be any difficulty, Karen. How many people on King's Cross Station will have kittens for company?
[00:03:59] Unknown:
That's a good question.
[00:04:00] Unknown:
And, what do I do with a kitten when I've collected it? We are in charge until mister Katz gets back. We'll take it to your flat if you like. Anything so long as you don't lose it. Uh-huh. And what do I, what do I feed this kitten on? Oh, I don't know. Cream, I suppose. I've never kept cats. Well, what's the joke? I was just thinking you've,
[00:04:20] Unknown:
never kept cats, and now you're working for one.
[00:04:31] Unknown:
Late the following morning, Cannon, after a short consultation with a pet shop in Sharing Cross, left for his assignation with a kitten. At lunchtime, he was sitting an old and mild in the platform buffet when the boat train pulled into the station. He carefully scanned the passengers for some sign of a man and a kitten.
[00:04:56] Unknown:
Monsieur, are you the gentleman who was sent to meet me?
[00:05:00] Unknown:
Wow. I I mean,
[00:05:03] Unknown:
I wish I was. But monsieur Katz said there would be a gentleman to meet me in the platform buffet, and you are the only gentleman to serve by yourself.
[00:05:12] Unknown:
Uh-huh. Did you say mister Katz? Oh, monsieur.
[00:05:17] Unknown:
He is my agent.
[00:05:19] Unknown:
But, mister Katz said I was to meet a kitten. That is what they call me in France, monsieur.
[00:05:24] Unknown:
My name is Marie Lavour.
[00:05:26] Unknown:
Oh, Marie Lavor. So, so you're the kitten I had to meet.
[00:05:32] Unknown:
Is the idea detestful to you, missus?
[00:05:35] Unknown:
Distestful? For once, I've got me an assignment that's the cat's whiskers.
[00:05:48] Unknown:
Yes. Cannon's job was to act as chaperone to a sex kitten. I just hadn't understood the theatrical puns of my flamboyant client. A lesser man might have been a little montage by this turn of, well, of events, but Canon was not in the least bit disturbed.
[00:06:07] Unknown:
You see, Marie, the chief got the whole thing wrong. He sent me on the trail of a feline. Well, come to think of it. He wasn't all that far out after all.
[00:06:16] Unknown:
Well, I'm in your hands, monsieur. Where shall he go?
[00:06:21] Unknown:
Well, that's a question, Marie, that causes a conflict in my mind. Should I follow the line of duty or countermand my chief's orders and change them to, suit the situation? I don't quite follow you. Well, my orders were to feed you on cream and keep you in my flat.
[00:06:39] Unknown:
Then you had to change your orders, monsieur. Yeah. I was afraid you say that. I never eat cream. It's bad for my figure.
[00:06:47] Unknown:
Mhmm. Yeah. His job gets better by the minute. Hey, do cats eat curry? Delicious. Then we'll eat curried chicken of your swamis and then, well, let's, let's go chew on a chicken first.
[00:07:08] Unknown:
Over the curry, Cannon warmed to his task. The change in doubt for his charge had been drastic, but Cannon looked for all the world like a cat at a bowl of cream. This didn't prevent him putting some pertinent questions to the lovely miss Labour.
[00:07:22] Unknown:
Oh, by the way, Marie, what happened to your luggage?
[00:07:26] Unknown:
I have just an overnight bag. This one. Do you, use electronics all night? Monsieur Katz's telephone, just one hour before the ferry left, he said I was to drop everything and come. That's not uncommon in show business, you know. He said he would, provide everything for me at this end. Well, I guess he'll do that when he gets back tomorrow. Where does he live, the sky cats? His home, you mean? Oh, I have no idea.
[00:07:51] Unknown:
I wish I did. Then then I would go there. Well, if he wanted you to do that, he would have said so. Well, maybe missus Katz is in residence, and if she got a look at you, she might get papa to change his vocation. Oh, but it will still be a difficult twenty four hours for me. Now how come?
[00:08:06] Unknown:
I'm hoping for my big break in England. Mister Katz says there is a good chance that I will get a part in a new film here to shoot at Hell Street.
[00:08:14] Unknown:
You know this place? Sure. Half an hour from here in Borrowhamwood, but, why is it so difficult? In the cinema, well, one must be seen only in the best places with the right people. Oh, you should've said I'd have taken you to tea at Buckingham Palace. Oh, please. Do not misunderstand me.
[00:08:29] Unknown:
It's just because I haven't my luggage with me. I haven't given a change of clothes. If I book into a small out of the way hotel until one sees me, then it will start bad gossip for me. A cinema star must live only in the best places. Yet, alas, I cannot book into a good hotel because they will ask why I have no luggage. And the film star is never far from her Panthechnicon.
[00:08:51] Unknown:
Yeah. I always wondered why film stars were a bit screwy. I'm wondering. But, you know, you don't have to worry, Marie. You can, stay the night in my flat. How's that? Yeah. But I can, miss Buchanan. But that would not be proper now, would it? Well, what if I bedded down the flophouse around the corner?
[00:09:08] Unknown:
You you really give up your flat for one night for me? Mademoiselle, I'm a regular gala head, but
[00:09:14] Unknown:
there's a condition. Oh. After you've met up with cats and gotten organized on this movie, I take you out to dinner, and we'll do it on your condition. The right people, that's me, and the right place, beer and sausages and dirty bits.
[00:09:27] Unknown:
I shall look forward to our date with anticipation and pleasure, monsieur.
[00:09:32] Unknown:
And I'll twist all cats' arm to make sure you become a movie star right soon. Do you do you think I'll be successful? Baby, you'll be the cat's meow. Waiter, clear away the litter.
[00:09:52] Unknown:
It wasn't until after his lunch at Bodo Swamy's that Cannon reported him. At that time, I had no idea that mister Katz's kitten was a lovely girl from France.
[00:10:02] Unknown:
Cannon, of course, was quick to inform me. So you see, chief, you got it all wrong. His kitten's a real dish and our client, mister Katz, needs his head red for treating her this way. I don't follow Cannon. Are you suggesting that he's treated her badly? Landing a potential movie star in London with no gear, you just don't know the business here. But I do know that you all know Rudolph Valentino. Valentino.
[00:10:24] Unknown:
He went out with prohibition. Well, well, I must confess I don't attend the cinema very frequently.
[00:10:29] Unknown:
However, where is miss LaVue? In my pardon? What? Yeah. Now don't panic. Those were your orders and I've booked into the hotel around the corner for the night. Well can I?
[00:10:41] Unknown:
Assignments unlimited. Oh, that you, Mr. Mason. Speaking. Chat's here. Oh, good afternoon. How are things in the Midlands? Oh, they're fine. Just fine. Did you meet the kitten? Yes. One of my men met her and is looking after her. Oh, good. Now it occurred to me that she won't know where to come to tomorrow. I wondered if your man would bring her out to the 4 Swans in Waltham Cross. The 4 Swans at Waltham Cross. Yes. Certainly. At what time, mister Katz? For six in the evening. I'll see to it. Oh, good man. Now don't worry about the expenses. I'll see to everything. Goodbye, mister Mason. Good day, mister Katz.
[00:11:16] Unknown:
Chief,
[00:11:17] Unknown:
you got that look again. Miss Blaine is off the switchboard. She popped out for a minute and put the line through to this office. Katz rang straight through to me. So I asked him how things were in The Midlands, and he said fine. But he can't be in The Midlands because he dialed direct. You heard that wasn't a trunk call. Mister Katz is right here in London. That's old Canon. I wonder why he told me a deliberate lie. If mister Katz was in London, then why did he wish an escort for miss LaVue? And if she knew that he was in London, then she'd made an awful fool of cannon. For all his ponderous bulk, cannon is agile of mind and body. To coin a cannon phrase, he'd gotten the message.
[00:12:01] Unknown:
Mhmm. Let me have the phone to you.
[00:12:14] Unknown:
Who are you ringing? My friend. Careful what you say.
[00:12:18] Unknown:
That's alright, chief. I just swallowed a jar of honey.
[00:12:29] Unknown:
Hello?
[00:12:30] Unknown:
Hello. Hello. Who is speaking to? It's me, Cannon.
[00:12:34] Unknown:
Everything alright? Oh, I was in the bath. Oh, sorry. I apologize. Isn't that
[00:12:38] Unknown:
alright?
[00:12:40] Unknown:
Just thought I'd, ring to check that you're okay. Oh, you're very kind, mister Cannon. Now you get back to that bath before you drip all over my Persian carpet. Is it Persia? Well, the guy Marks and Spencer's Bargain Basement said it was.
[00:12:54] Unknown:
What time will you be home?
[00:12:56] Unknown:
Oh, about an hour or so. Oh oh, by the way, mister Katz rang. Oh, he's backing down? No. No. He's still up north. He, he wanted to know if you were okay. And I am. Thanks to you. That's what I told him. Now look. If I'm late, you can play solitaire. There's a deck of cards in the bureaus. I'll cook you some dinner. How's that? Great. Bisen you, kitten. Oh, where, missus Kennan?
[00:13:20] Unknown:
Well,
[00:13:21] Unknown:
well, I don't know. She's an actress. Could mean a lot of nothing. Is she where is this, where's this guy Katz hanging out?
[00:13:33] Unknown:
Oh, here's his card. Mhmm. See anything odd about it? No phone number. Just the address. And for a theatrical agent, that's decidedly odd. I didn't bother to look at it closely before. I simply shoved it in the drawer of the desk. 17 A Warder
[00:13:52] Unknown:
Street. Well, do I take the tube or a taxi? Oh, I think this warrant's a taxi.
[00:13:57] Unknown:
But don't forget he's never met you and he doesn't know that you were assigned to the job of meeting miss La Brea. Unless
[00:14:02] Unknown:
she rang and told him. Well, there's no telephone. Check. Okay. I'll be thirty minutes. And if I find what I think I'll find, mister Katz the fur is gonna fly. Four flights. Alright. Martin Webster Publishing Company, Anne's Theatrical Hire, Shamwa Window Cleaning Company, the Coldblack Bridge Club. No mister Katz. Well, I guess here's as good as any. Ah, Major Farnham, we were expecting no. No. Just a minute. Yeah. You got me wrong. My name's Cannon. I just want a little information. Are you from the police? No, I'm, looking for an old friend of mine name of Katz.
I was, I was told he ran a theatrical agency in this building. Katz,
[00:15:09] Unknown:
Katz. You're American, aren't you? Yeah. Katz. Yes. Cats. Oh, no, no. There's no one here by that name. You know everybody here? Quite so. Well, there's Anne's theatrical hire of course. It's run by a girl called Sally Manger, not Anne at all. Sally Manger is always eating. So they call her salamander. It's terribly amusing, don't you think?
[00:15:35] Unknown:
And no cats?
[00:15:37] Unknown:
No cats. Okay. Good afternoon.
[00:15:50] Unknown:
No cats. Not even on the rooftops.
[00:15:53] Unknown:
Chief, we've been taken.
[00:15:55] Unknown:
It looks like it. So what do we do? Technically we have a case for fraud of course. You mean the cops? We'd be entitled to lay our predicament before the law. It's obvious that Katz never intended to pay for our services rendered. I'm not sure that I'd welcome the publicity though. And then there's the the girl. Yeah. The girl. What about her? From your telephone conversation, she's probably toasting you a tasty frog's leg over your gas ring.
[00:16:21] Unknown:
You know chief sometimes I wonder why I work for you. I suppose the money has something to do with it.
[00:16:27] Unknown:
Now our client has asked us to deliver the lady to the fourth one's hotel at Wharton Cross. This we will do. It may well be that he wished to keep his real address a secret for some quite logical reason. If that's so, then he'll pay up when you deliver the goods. Mhmm.
[00:16:43] Unknown:
Chief, I got a funny feeling.
[00:16:45] Unknown:
Yes, so I, But we'll play along straight at our end. Go back to your flat and act as if nothing's happened. Okay. Don't let the girl know where her assignation with cats is to be. It's just as well not to take chances. Tomorrow evening at six, you can take out of the four swans and clean everything up. I know who I'll clean up first if I don't get the dough. There is this to it, Cannon.
[00:17:08] Unknown:
It might be dangerous. You never know. No, I'll take a chance on that.
[00:17:12] Unknown:
And what's this, what's this guy Katz like anyway? Well, you won't have to worry about him. He's late middle aged and out of condition.
[00:17:39] Unknown:
Won't you tell me where we're going? Did I say I wouldn't tell you? Are they when I ask you if you've been a visit?
[00:17:46] Unknown:
Well, the, the fact is mister Katz said to take you to the Four Swans Hotel in Waltham Cross. I couldn't ring him back to check because he was out of time. Now you see the Four Swans is really an Elnor cross. The two places are a stone's throw away, but, well, I thought I'd make sure first. Is this the way to the cinema studio? No. It's it's the way to the north, the the Great North Road. It leads to the Midlands. You know where mister Katz has been all this time? Mhmm. Well, this is it. I'll just turn the corner and park. There it is, Four Swans Hotel. Now that statue was erected to the memory of Queen Eleanor by King Edward.
You are a student of English history, monsieur Canal? No. No. No. I looked it up in the guidebook. Okay. In we go.
[00:18:59] Unknown:
Well, see anybody you know? Marie, I'm so glad to see you. My most total apologies for not being at the station to meet you. I was well looked after, miss Yucat, by this gentleman. Oh, you must be from Assignments Unlimited. That's right. Cannon's the name. You're mister Katz. Oh, yes. I am. Are you done with your great service? It's a pleasure. We do anything for,
[00:19:18] Unknown:
for money.
[00:19:19] Unknown:
Oh, yes. Yes. Your fear. Now are you empowered to accept it? That's right. Oh, excellent. Now if you'll just settle down here, order yourself a drink while I show miss LaVue to her room, I'll come right down and fix up about your fear. Alright? Okay. Oh, this way then, Marie.
[00:19:32] Unknown:
Thank you for everything, mister Cannon. And I shall not forget our date. You know how to get in touch. Don't ring you. You ring us. Mhmm. I will.
[00:19:42] Unknown:
Au revoir, mister Cannon. We're seeing you, kitten. Well, Marie. Now did you have a good trip? Hey, waiter. Yes, sir? Where does the door at the back of the hotel meet you? Oh, it's your car, Poxy. Yeah. That's all I wanted to know. Here. Cool. Plumb me. Quit.
[00:20:23] Unknown:
Why didn't you come alone? That man might have caused some embarrassment. I couldn't get him to tell me where he would arrange the meeting. He looks an ugly customer. He's quite harmless.
[00:20:31] Unknown:
Very sweet. Did you ask him where we were to meet? Of course. He didn't tell me because you said welcome calls instead of Eleanor calls. They have a reputation, his company.
[00:20:41] Unknown:
He did not want to make a mistake. Oh, well, he's made one now, the poor abou. I wonder how long he'll sit in that lounge waiting for me to come back.
[00:20:50] Unknown:
It,
[00:20:52] Unknown:
it might have been wise to pay him. Well, the less he sees of me, the better. I know these chaps. They've noses like Pinocchio and ask a lot of awkward questions. What's the matter?
[00:21:03] Unknown:
A car behind us is about to pass. It's the same car that brought me. It's Canon. Canon is behind me. It's forcing me off the road.
[00:21:15] Unknown:
Get over, you fool. Get over. I'm pulling you to decide. Please, please. Go to the devil. You're crushed.
[00:21:20] Unknown:
You're crushed.
[00:21:27] Unknown:
Okay. The two babies get on. Well, I hope my arm. But he didn't break your neck. You too, miss Lavoie or whatever your name is. I'm in a pretty nasty mood. You you tried to kill us. He could've stopped. Okay. Hand over that traveling bag. Look. Miss Lavoie, I'm not in the habit of pushing women around, but if you don't give it to me, I'm gonna take it. Well, I know it's all a mistake. I'll put you there. I I forgotten the hotel. There was so much on my mind, but, well, you can always come to the office to collect your money. I already tried that. And if you got what I think you got, your next office will be a selling Dartmoor.
[00:22:01] Unknown:
Now give me that.
[00:22:09] Unknown:
A metal cylinder. Seal too. Well, I guess we only need a little hole. That jagged fender on your car will be just a thing.
[00:22:23] Unknown:
Well, well.
[00:22:25] Unknown:
Talcum powder, miss Lavoie? I I I I'll pay you well. I bet you would. There's enough cocaine in this cylinder to keep you on Easy Street for years. You know, you got the wrong name, Buster. They should have called you Rat.
[00:22:45] Unknown:
Can be no doubt that Katz had spoiled his ship for a half of the tar. If he'd paid Cannon in the Four Swans Hotel, we'd have left it at that and put down the false visiting card to eccentricity. As it turned out, it was a profitless task and I lost Cannon for four days at the trial. The narcotics people were on to Mr. Katz and that day at King's Cross, they mingled with a crowd watching for him. He knew this and realized that the moment Marie Lavor made contact with him, they'd both be arrested with disastrous consequences. It was a good plan to have someone from assignments unlimited meet the lady.
She'd be quite safe until Katz could arrange a quiet rendezvous. Her cover story was sound and will indeed took us both in. It was that telephone call that really upset Katz's plans.
Check engine light on? Take the guesswork out of your check engine light with O'Reilly BaraScan. It's free. Ask for O'Reilly BaraScan today. O'Reilly
[00:00:16] Unknown:
That's right. But I work in good old London town. My, last assignment took me to The States. Really? May I ask what sort of work you do, mister Kennan? Well, let's see. $64 question. Company's name is Assignments Unlimited, and my boss lives up to it like a battle on her. Come up and see me sometime at, 33 Half Moon Street. Aubrey Mason at your service. At Assignments Unlimited, we do anything,
[00:00:40] Unknown:
anywhere, at any time. 33
[00:00:43] Unknown:
Half Moon Street.
[00:01:02] Unknown:
I have a file in front of me. On the front cover is boldly typed, a kitten for mister Katz. To say that mister Benjamin Katz paid us a visit at 33 Half Moon Street would not be strictly accurate. He descended on our peace and quiet in this backwater like a clap of thunder. Mister Katz was a man of few words, but he had a lot to say. It's part of the routine at Assignments Unlimited that I lend a patient an attentive ear.
[00:01:32] Unknown:
I'm in the theatrical profession, mister Mason. Casting mainly. You've got quite a few things on the go at the moment. Theater's having a boom. Vaudeville's on the way back. Television, radio, motion pictures, films, you know. Yeah. I know. You know what? It keeps me on the go all the time. Never have a chance to sit still for a moment. I'm here today, and tomorrow, I'll be in the Midlands after that over Italy to shoot a scene of a girl on the beach bouncing a ball. That's for a TV commercial. Why they have to go all the way to Italy just to get a girl bouncing a ball on a beach beats me. It must be very tragic. Oh, but I never let it get me down. Get in there and fight, I say. If you don't get the job done, your competitors will get there ahead of you. Romantic game show business. That's what you think. Cutthroat, mister Mason. That's the word to really describe it. A knife in the back.
What is it exactly that you wish us to do? Oh, what's that? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, a little job, but they told me you handle anything. Is that right? That's right. Well, great. Here's my card. Send the account there and it'll be sent right away. Well, I must get going. You gotta be in The Midlands First thing tomorrow. Mister Katz. Uh-huh. Is it film stunting or something like that? Film stunt. All the job. Yeah. Well, I didn't say, did I? No. Now when I got a little female kitten arriving on the boat train lunchtime tomorrow, she's got someone on the train looking after her, and he'll hand the kitten over to your man in the platform buffet if he's there at lunchtime. I just look after her until I get back from the Midlands day after tomorrow. Well, now I really must have run. Been a pleasure meeting you, mister Mason. Do you ever go to the theater? Often. Well, I'll send you tickets for my next review. Goodbye. Good afternoon, mister Katz.
[00:03:02] Unknown:
You okay, chief? Cannon.
[00:03:04] Unknown:
Nice to see you. Come in.
[00:03:07] Unknown:
You, you having trouble with that guy? No. No.
[00:03:10] Unknown:
Just a client. He's a little exuberant. Well, he must have spent his prenatal days on a machine gun for him. How was the trip to Washington? Oh, went off without a hitch. Do I get a furlough? Surely five days on the Queen Elizabeth was enough? Yeah. That's what I thought you'd say. So I'm reporting for duty. As it happens,
[00:03:27] Unknown:
I have a small thing here for tomorrow. The, Mr. Katz, the man who just left.
[00:03:32] Unknown:
How did you know his man? I looked in the appointment spot.
[00:03:35] Unknown:
He's got a kitten arriving on the boat train at King's Cross tomorrow. We have to look after it until he gets back from the Midlands. So you want me to go to King's Cross with a quarter milks? Oh, something like that. The kitten's in charge of a man on the train. He'll hand over to you in the platform buffet at lunchtime. Well, how'll I know this guy? Well, there shouldn't be any difficulty, Karen. How many people on King's Cross Station will have kittens for company?
[00:03:59] Unknown:
That's a good question.
[00:04:00] Unknown:
And, what do I do with a kitten when I've collected it? We are in charge until mister Katz gets back. We'll take it to your flat if you like. Anything so long as you don't lose it. Uh-huh. And what do I, what do I feed this kitten on? Oh, I don't know. Cream, I suppose. I've never kept cats. Well, what's the joke? I was just thinking you've,
[00:04:20] Unknown:
never kept cats, and now you're working for one.
[00:04:31] Unknown:
Late the following morning, Cannon, after a short consultation with a pet shop in Sharing Cross, left for his assignation with a kitten. At lunchtime, he was sitting an old and mild in the platform buffet when the boat train pulled into the station. He carefully scanned the passengers for some sign of a man and a kitten.
[00:04:56] Unknown:
Monsieur, are you the gentleman who was sent to meet me?
[00:05:00] Unknown:
Wow. I I mean,
[00:05:03] Unknown:
I wish I was. But monsieur Katz said there would be a gentleman to meet me in the platform buffet, and you are the only gentleman to serve by yourself.
[00:05:12] Unknown:
Uh-huh. Did you say mister Katz? Oh, monsieur.
[00:05:17] Unknown:
He is my agent.
[00:05:19] Unknown:
But, mister Katz said I was to meet a kitten. That is what they call me in France, monsieur.
[00:05:24] Unknown:
My name is Marie Lavour.
[00:05:26] Unknown:
Oh, Marie Lavor. So, so you're the kitten I had to meet.
[00:05:32] Unknown:
Is the idea detestful to you, missus?
[00:05:35] Unknown:
Distestful? For once, I've got me an assignment that's the cat's whiskers.
[00:05:48] Unknown:
Yes. Cannon's job was to act as chaperone to a sex kitten. I just hadn't understood the theatrical puns of my flamboyant client. A lesser man might have been a little montage by this turn of, well, of events, but Canon was not in the least bit disturbed.
[00:06:07] Unknown:
You see, Marie, the chief got the whole thing wrong. He sent me on the trail of a feline. Well, come to think of it. He wasn't all that far out after all.
[00:06:16] Unknown:
Well, I'm in your hands, monsieur. Where shall he go?
[00:06:21] Unknown:
Well, that's a question, Marie, that causes a conflict in my mind. Should I follow the line of duty or countermand my chief's orders and change them to, suit the situation? I don't quite follow you. Well, my orders were to feed you on cream and keep you in my flat.
[00:06:39] Unknown:
Then you had to change your orders, monsieur. Yeah. I was afraid you say that. I never eat cream. It's bad for my figure.
[00:06:47] Unknown:
Mhmm. Yeah. His job gets better by the minute. Hey, do cats eat curry? Delicious. Then we'll eat curried chicken of your swamis and then, well, let's, let's go chew on a chicken first.
[00:07:08] Unknown:
Over the curry, Cannon warmed to his task. The change in doubt for his charge had been drastic, but Cannon looked for all the world like a cat at a bowl of cream. This didn't prevent him putting some pertinent questions to the lovely miss Labour.
[00:07:22] Unknown:
Oh, by the way, Marie, what happened to your luggage?
[00:07:26] Unknown:
I have just an overnight bag. This one. Do you, use electronics all night? Monsieur Katz's telephone, just one hour before the ferry left, he said I was to drop everything and come. That's not uncommon in show business, you know. He said he would, provide everything for me at this end. Well, I guess he'll do that when he gets back tomorrow. Where does he live, the sky cats? His home, you mean? Oh, I have no idea.
[00:07:51] Unknown:
I wish I did. Then then I would go there. Well, if he wanted you to do that, he would have said so. Well, maybe missus Katz is in residence, and if she got a look at you, she might get papa to change his vocation. Oh, but it will still be a difficult twenty four hours for me. Now how come?
[00:08:06] Unknown:
I'm hoping for my big break in England. Mister Katz says there is a good chance that I will get a part in a new film here to shoot at Hell Street.
[00:08:14] Unknown:
You know this place? Sure. Half an hour from here in Borrowhamwood, but, why is it so difficult? In the cinema, well, one must be seen only in the best places with the right people. Oh, you should've said I'd have taken you to tea at Buckingham Palace. Oh, please. Do not misunderstand me.
[00:08:29] Unknown:
It's just because I haven't my luggage with me. I haven't given a change of clothes. If I book into a small out of the way hotel until one sees me, then it will start bad gossip for me. A cinema star must live only in the best places. Yet, alas, I cannot book into a good hotel because they will ask why I have no luggage. And the film star is never far from her Panthechnicon.
[00:08:51] Unknown:
Yeah. I always wondered why film stars were a bit screwy. I'm wondering. But, you know, you don't have to worry, Marie. You can, stay the night in my flat. How's that? Yeah. But I can, miss Buchanan. But that would not be proper now, would it? Well, what if I bedded down the flophouse around the corner?
[00:09:08] Unknown:
You you really give up your flat for one night for me? Mademoiselle, I'm a regular gala head, but
[00:09:14] Unknown:
there's a condition. Oh. After you've met up with cats and gotten organized on this movie, I take you out to dinner, and we'll do it on your condition. The right people, that's me, and the right place, beer and sausages and dirty bits.
[00:09:27] Unknown:
I shall look forward to our date with anticipation and pleasure, monsieur.
[00:09:32] Unknown:
And I'll twist all cats' arm to make sure you become a movie star right soon. Do you do you think I'll be successful? Baby, you'll be the cat's meow. Waiter, clear away the litter.
[00:09:52] Unknown:
It wasn't until after his lunch at Bodo Swamy's that Cannon reported him. At that time, I had no idea that mister Katz's kitten was a lovely girl from France.
[00:10:02] Unknown:
Cannon, of course, was quick to inform me. So you see, chief, you got it all wrong. His kitten's a real dish and our client, mister Katz, needs his head red for treating her this way. I don't follow Cannon. Are you suggesting that he's treated her badly? Landing a potential movie star in London with no gear, you just don't know the business here. But I do know that you all know Rudolph Valentino. Valentino.
[00:10:24] Unknown:
He went out with prohibition. Well, well, I must confess I don't attend the cinema very frequently.
[00:10:29] Unknown:
However, where is miss LaVue? In my pardon? What? Yeah. Now don't panic. Those were your orders and I've booked into the hotel around the corner for the night. Well can I?
[00:10:41] Unknown:
Assignments unlimited. Oh, that you, Mr. Mason. Speaking. Chat's here. Oh, good afternoon. How are things in the Midlands? Oh, they're fine. Just fine. Did you meet the kitten? Yes. One of my men met her and is looking after her. Oh, good. Now it occurred to me that she won't know where to come to tomorrow. I wondered if your man would bring her out to the 4 Swans in Waltham Cross. The 4 Swans at Waltham Cross. Yes. Certainly. At what time, mister Katz? For six in the evening. I'll see to it. Oh, good man. Now don't worry about the expenses. I'll see to everything. Goodbye, mister Mason. Good day, mister Katz.
[00:11:16] Unknown:
Chief,
[00:11:17] Unknown:
you got that look again. Miss Blaine is off the switchboard. She popped out for a minute and put the line through to this office. Katz rang straight through to me. So I asked him how things were in The Midlands, and he said fine. But he can't be in The Midlands because he dialed direct. You heard that wasn't a trunk call. Mister Katz is right here in London. That's old Canon. I wonder why he told me a deliberate lie. If mister Katz was in London, then why did he wish an escort for miss LaVue? And if she knew that he was in London, then she'd made an awful fool of cannon. For all his ponderous bulk, cannon is agile of mind and body. To coin a cannon phrase, he'd gotten the message.
[00:12:01] Unknown:
Mhmm. Let me have the phone to you.
[00:12:14] Unknown:
Who are you ringing? My friend. Careful what you say.
[00:12:18] Unknown:
That's alright, chief. I just swallowed a jar of honey.
[00:12:29] Unknown:
Hello?
[00:12:30] Unknown:
Hello. Hello. Who is speaking to? It's me, Cannon.
[00:12:34] Unknown:
Everything alright? Oh, I was in the bath. Oh, sorry. I apologize. Isn't that
[00:12:38] Unknown:
alright?
[00:12:40] Unknown:
Just thought I'd, ring to check that you're okay. Oh, you're very kind, mister Cannon. Now you get back to that bath before you drip all over my Persian carpet. Is it Persia? Well, the guy Marks and Spencer's Bargain Basement said it was.
[00:12:54] Unknown:
What time will you be home?
[00:12:56] Unknown:
Oh, about an hour or so. Oh oh, by the way, mister Katz rang. Oh, he's backing down? No. No. He's still up north. He, he wanted to know if you were okay. And I am. Thanks to you. That's what I told him. Now look. If I'm late, you can play solitaire. There's a deck of cards in the bureaus. I'll cook you some dinner. How's that? Great. Bisen you, kitten. Oh, where, missus Kennan?
[00:13:20] Unknown:
Well,
[00:13:21] Unknown:
well, I don't know. She's an actress. Could mean a lot of nothing. Is she where is this, where's this guy Katz hanging out?
[00:13:33] Unknown:
Oh, here's his card. Mhmm. See anything odd about it? No phone number. Just the address. And for a theatrical agent, that's decidedly odd. I didn't bother to look at it closely before. I simply shoved it in the drawer of the desk. 17 A Warder
[00:13:52] Unknown:
Street. Well, do I take the tube or a taxi? Oh, I think this warrant's a taxi.
[00:13:57] Unknown:
But don't forget he's never met you and he doesn't know that you were assigned to the job of meeting miss La Brea. Unless
[00:14:02] Unknown:
she rang and told him. Well, there's no telephone. Check. Okay. I'll be thirty minutes. And if I find what I think I'll find, mister Katz the fur is gonna fly. Four flights. Alright. Martin Webster Publishing Company, Anne's Theatrical Hire, Shamwa Window Cleaning Company, the Coldblack Bridge Club. No mister Katz. Well, I guess here's as good as any. Ah, Major Farnham, we were expecting no. No. Just a minute. Yeah. You got me wrong. My name's Cannon. I just want a little information. Are you from the police? No, I'm, looking for an old friend of mine name of Katz.
I was, I was told he ran a theatrical agency in this building. Katz,
[00:15:09] Unknown:
Katz. You're American, aren't you? Yeah. Katz. Yes. Cats. Oh, no, no. There's no one here by that name. You know everybody here? Quite so. Well, there's Anne's theatrical hire of course. It's run by a girl called Sally Manger, not Anne at all. Sally Manger is always eating. So they call her salamander. It's terribly amusing, don't you think?
[00:15:35] Unknown:
And no cats?
[00:15:37] Unknown:
No cats. Okay. Good afternoon.
[00:15:50] Unknown:
No cats. Not even on the rooftops.
[00:15:53] Unknown:
Chief, we've been taken.
[00:15:55] Unknown:
It looks like it. So what do we do? Technically we have a case for fraud of course. You mean the cops? We'd be entitled to lay our predicament before the law. It's obvious that Katz never intended to pay for our services rendered. I'm not sure that I'd welcome the publicity though. And then there's the the girl. Yeah. The girl. What about her? From your telephone conversation, she's probably toasting you a tasty frog's leg over your gas ring.
[00:16:21] Unknown:
You know chief sometimes I wonder why I work for you. I suppose the money has something to do with it.
[00:16:27] Unknown:
Now our client has asked us to deliver the lady to the fourth one's hotel at Wharton Cross. This we will do. It may well be that he wished to keep his real address a secret for some quite logical reason. If that's so, then he'll pay up when you deliver the goods. Mhmm.
[00:16:43] Unknown:
Chief, I got a funny feeling.
[00:16:45] Unknown:
Yes, so I, But we'll play along straight at our end. Go back to your flat and act as if nothing's happened. Okay. Don't let the girl know where her assignation with cats is to be. It's just as well not to take chances. Tomorrow evening at six, you can take out of the four swans and clean everything up. I know who I'll clean up first if I don't get the dough. There is this to it, Cannon.
[00:17:08] Unknown:
It might be dangerous. You never know. No, I'll take a chance on that.
[00:17:12] Unknown:
And what's this, what's this guy Katz like anyway? Well, you won't have to worry about him. He's late middle aged and out of condition.
[00:17:39] Unknown:
Won't you tell me where we're going? Did I say I wouldn't tell you? Are they when I ask you if you've been a visit?
[00:17:46] Unknown:
Well, the, the fact is mister Katz said to take you to the Four Swans Hotel in Waltham Cross. I couldn't ring him back to check because he was out of time. Now you see the Four Swans is really an Elnor cross. The two places are a stone's throw away, but, well, I thought I'd make sure first. Is this the way to the cinema studio? No. It's it's the way to the north, the the Great North Road. It leads to the Midlands. You know where mister Katz has been all this time? Mhmm. Well, this is it. I'll just turn the corner and park. There it is, Four Swans Hotel. Now that statue was erected to the memory of Queen Eleanor by King Edward.
You are a student of English history, monsieur Canal? No. No. No. I looked it up in the guidebook. Okay. In we go.
[00:18:59] Unknown:
Well, see anybody you know? Marie, I'm so glad to see you. My most total apologies for not being at the station to meet you. I was well looked after, miss Yucat, by this gentleman. Oh, you must be from Assignments Unlimited. That's right. Cannon's the name. You're mister Katz. Oh, yes. I am. Are you done with your great service? It's a pleasure. We do anything for,
[00:19:18] Unknown:
for money.
[00:19:19] Unknown:
Oh, yes. Yes. Your fear. Now are you empowered to accept it? That's right. Oh, excellent. Now if you'll just settle down here, order yourself a drink while I show miss LaVue to her room, I'll come right down and fix up about your fear. Alright? Okay. Oh, this way then, Marie.
[00:19:32] Unknown:
Thank you for everything, mister Cannon. And I shall not forget our date. You know how to get in touch. Don't ring you. You ring us. Mhmm. I will.
[00:19:42] Unknown:
Au revoir, mister Cannon. We're seeing you, kitten. Well, Marie. Now did you have a good trip? Hey, waiter. Yes, sir? Where does the door at the back of the hotel meet you? Oh, it's your car, Poxy. Yeah. That's all I wanted to know. Here. Cool. Plumb me. Quit.
[00:20:23] Unknown:
Why didn't you come alone? That man might have caused some embarrassment. I couldn't get him to tell me where he would arrange the meeting. He looks an ugly customer. He's quite harmless.
[00:20:31] Unknown:
Very sweet. Did you ask him where we were to meet? Of course. He didn't tell me because you said welcome calls instead of Eleanor calls. They have a reputation, his company.
[00:20:41] Unknown:
He did not want to make a mistake. Oh, well, he's made one now, the poor abou. I wonder how long he'll sit in that lounge waiting for me to come back.
[00:20:50] Unknown:
It,
[00:20:52] Unknown:
it might have been wise to pay him. Well, the less he sees of me, the better. I know these chaps. They've noses like Pinocchio and ask a lot of awkward questions. What's the matter?
[00:21:03] Unknown:
A car behind us is about to pass. It's the same car that brought me. It's Canon. Canon is behind me. It's forcing me off the road.
[00:21:15] Unknown:
Get over, you fool. Get over. I'm pulling you to decide. Please, please. Go to the devil. You're crushed.
[00:21:20] Unknown:
You're crushed.
[00:21:27] Unknown:
Okay. The two babies get on. Well, I hope my arm. But he didn't break your neck. You too, miss Lavoie or whatever your name is. I'm in a pretty nasty mood. You you tried to kill us. He could've stopped. Okay. Hand over that traveling bag. Look. Miss Lavoie, I'm not in the habit of pushing women around, but if you don't give it to me, I'm gonna take it. Well, I know it's all a mistake. I'll put you there. I I forgotten the hotel. There was so much on my mind, but, well, you can always come to the office to collect your money. I already tried that. And if you got what I think you got, your next office will be a selling Dartmoor.
[00:22:01] Unknown:
Now give me that.
[00:22:09] Unknown:
A metal cylinder. Seal too. Well, I guess we only need a little hole. That jagged fender on your car will be just a thing.
[00:22:23] Unknown:
Well, well.
[00:22:25] Unknown:
Talcum powder, miss Lavoie? I I I I'll pay you well. I bet you would. There's enough cocaine in this cylinder to keep you on Easy Street for years. You know, you got the wrong name, Buster. They should have called you Rat.
[00:22:45] Unknown:
Can be no doubt that Katz had spoiled his ship for a half of the tar. If he'd paid Cannon in the Four Swans Hotel, we'd have left it at that and put down the false visiting card to eccentricity. As it turned out, it was a profitless task and I lost Cannon for four days at the trial. The narcotics people were on to Mr. Katz and that day at King's Cross, they mingled with a crowd watching for him. He knew this and realized that the moment Marie Lavor made contact with him, they'd both be arrested with disastrous consequences. It was a good plan to have someone from assignments unlimited meet the lady.
She'd be quite safe until Katz could arrange a quiet rendezvous. Her cover story was sound and will indeed took us both in. It was that telephone call that really upset Katz's plans.
